Things We Can't Rewrite
by drizzletomyhurricane
Summary: What if Lola and Miles kept their baby in season 3? Mola's unexpected journey to parenthood
1. Won't You Stay With Me?

**Chapter 1: Won't You Stay With Me?**

Lola stood nervously in the hallway, her eyes fixated on the classroom across from her. In just a few seconds, Miles would walk out that door and she'd have to give him the news that would change both of their lives forever. _Maybe I should wait a few more days_ , she thought. _Just until things calm down with Tristan. Maybe I should just give him a few more days of peace..._

And then she saw him. Him- with his slicked back hair and those eyes that could make anyone fall in love instantly. He was wearing the same shirt from that night at the party.

 _I'm afraid that if we spend too much time together_ , Lola remembered saying. _We might do something that... will get us both in trouble._

And boy, were they ever in trouble.

Miles briefly glanced at Lola, then quickly looked away. "Hey," Lola said sheepishly.

Suddenly, Grace popped up. "Simpson wants to go over the contents of the play," she announced, talking over Lola.

"Great," Miles said, avoiding eye contact with Lola. "Let's grab Jonah."

He started to walk away. "Uh, _still here_!" Lola said, running after him.

Miles shrugged at Grace apologetically, like Lola was some silly little girl bothering him. "What's up?" he said to Lola hurriedly.

"I... I need to talk to you," Lola said, stammering. "Can we go somewhere for a minute?"

Miles shook his head. "You know we can't hang out anymore," he reminded her quietly. It was obvious he didn't want them to be seen together. "Except the play." He looked like he was about to say something else, then turned and began to walk away.

Lola felt like crying. This was even worse than she'd imagined- he wasn't even willing to _talk_. " _Miles_ ," she cried, running after him.

Miles turned around, visibly annoyed. " _What_ , Lola? _What_ could possibly be so damn important that you're willing to jeopardize my relationship over?" he snapped.

Lola laughed softly, almost bitterly. _Fine,_ she thought. _If that's how you want to play it._ "I'm _pregnant_!" she said, just loud enough for only him to hear. "Sorry for "jeopardizing" your relationship."

Miles froze, his face like a deer in the headlights. "Wha-what?" he stammered. "Are... are you sure?"

Lola sighed. "Yeah, I mean- I'm pretty sure," she said quietly. "I took two tests this morning and they were both positive. Plus, I'm like, a week late." She smoothed her hand over her stomach. "So yeah- pregnant."

Miles slumped against his locker, sighing. His eyes were full of pure exhaustion. "This could not be worse timing," he muttered to himself.

"You think _I_ wanted this?" Lola said exasperatedly. " _I'm_ the one who's pregnant at sixteen!"

"I thought you said you were on the pill!" Miles said, keeping his voice low.

Lola sighed. "I did- I was," she said. "But I screwed up taking them." Her eyes welled with tears. "Guess I am an idiot after all, huh?"

Miles shook his head. "Don't say that," he said, his voice gentler now. "This is my fault too. I should've used protection." He sighed. "So what... what are you going to do? If you need money, I can-"

Lola moved her hand over her stomach. "You want me to have an abortion."

Miles shrugged. "No, I'm just offering to... well, to pay for it. If that's what you're planning to do." He stopped and looked at her. "Wait, are you saying you want to keep it?" He looked scared of all of a sudden, as if reality were suddenly hitting him.

Lola stumbled on her words, hand still on her stomach. "I don't know," she said quietly. "I mean, when I first thought I might be pregnant I thought I had my mind completely made up. We're only in high school and we're not even together, how could we possibly have a baby?" She shook her head. "But then when the test came back positive, I just felt... stuck. Like I couldn't go through with it. Like maybe abortion wasn't the right choice for me after all."

Miles sighed deeply. "And I suppose I don't get a say in any of this."

"You don't have to stick around," Lola said. "If you don't want to be involved, I'll have the baby all by myself."

 _Baby. Their baby._ His _baby._ "I couldn't do that to you," Miles said, reaching for her hand. "Lola, I don't... I don't want to be a deadbeat dad. I just don't know how to handle any of this." He felt his eyes start to tear up."I'm scared."

Lola burst into tears. "Oh, Miles," she cried, hugging him. " _What are we going to do?_ "


	2. It's Complicated

**It's Complicated**

Miles sat down at his desk in creative writing, barely awake. He had hardly slept last night. A million things were running through his mind-- the baby, Lola, how to tell his mom, and worst of all, how to tell Tristan. He'd been avoiding the hospital since Lola told him the news. Still, he knew he had to face Tristan eventually.

Zoe plopped down next to him. "Sleep much?" she said, _tsk_ ing.

"Just great," Miles grumbled.

"I visited Tristan yesterday," Zoe said, unzipping her backpack. "Noticed _you_ weren't there..."

"I was busy, alright?" Miles snapped. He didn't have the energy to deal with another guilt-trip right now.

Zoe raised her eyebrows. "With Lola?" she said accusingly, locking eyes with him.

Miles squirmed in his seat, suddenly feeling woozy. "What-- what do you mean?" he sputtered.

Zoe shook her head. "I heard your little convo in the hall yesterday." She paused, surveying the look of horror and guilt on Miles' face. "You know you're screwed if she keeps it," she whispered, using her old "mean girl" voice that was normally reserved for jerks like Vijay or Baaz. "If you were going to cheat on Tris, I thought you'd _at least_ be smart enough to not knock the girl up. I mean come on, even _we_ used protection that one summer."

Miles slammed his textbook shut. "Look, I'm an idiot-- we all know that, don't we?" he said, gritting his teeth. "But for the record, it was just one time. I thought Tristan was never going to wake up. God, it was like... Like being with a corpse." He shook his head angrily. "And yeah," he muttered, not making eye contact. "She's keeping it."

Zoe sighed. "Look, Miles," she said, her voice slightly gentler now. "You're my friend. But life is hard for Tris right now. There's already talk about you and Lola and people are going to start finding out about the baby. And if you won't tell him the truth--" she bit her lip hestitantly. "Then I'll have to tell him for you."

Miles shook his head in disbelief. "No," he stammered. "No, please, Zoe, you can't do that to me. Or to Tris."

Mr. Mitchell cleared his throat. "Ahem!" he said, annoyed. "Miles, Zoe, class has started. Finish your conversation later."

Zoe pulled out her binder, pretending to take notes. "Go see him, Miles," she sighed quietly. "You can't hide out forever."


	3. Almost Is Never Enough

Thank you for all your positive comments and feedback! I will definitely continue to update, I plan on writing their whole journey through parenthood!

 **Chapter 3: Almost Is Never Enough**

Almost two weeks had gone by since Miles and Lola's conversation and they'd barely spoken since. They saw each other at play rehearsals and passed each other in the hall, but not much else. Miles occasionally texted Lola to ask how she was feeling, but their conversations remained brief and uncomfortable. They were both still kind of pretending this wasn't happening, though they couldn't ignore reality for much longer.

Miles had gone to visit Tristan a handful of times in the last couple weeks, but still hadn't confessed anything. Miles tried to get the words to come out, but just couldn't- he felt guilty even looking at him. But Miles knew he had to tell Tristan the truth sooner or later. Zoe hadn't said anything yet, but Miles didn't doubt she would.

Other than Zoe, no one seemed to know about the pregnancy besides Miles and Lola. Both were dreading having to tell their parents- and Frankie- eventually.

Monday evening after rehearsal, Miles went straight to the hospital to see Tristan. He'd sort of avoided Lola as much as he could during rehearsal, only saying lines and the usual "hi, bye." Lately, Miles had considered quitting. It certainly seemed like bad timing for the two of them to be starring in a play together. Besides, he was kind of worried about Lola working too hard, though he hadn't told her this.

He stepped into Tristan's hospital wing and gasped at what he saw- Tristan was walking!

"That's amazing," Miles said, beaming. "You're amazing!"

"His goal is to make it to the play," Mrs. Milligan said, setting aside Tristan's crutches and helping him sit back down.

"YES-THAT'S-RIGHT," Tristan said through the computer voice device that he'd been using to communicate. Miles and Tristan had nicknamed it WALL-E.

Suddenly, Miles felt a pang of guilt in his stomach. "Hey, Mrs. Milligan," he said quietly, not looking at Tristan. "Do you think Tris and I could have uh, a minute alone?"

Mrs. Milligan nodded and headed towards the hallway. "But no funny business," she reminded them, half-jokingly.

Miles waited until she was safely out of earshot to say anything. "Tris," he muttered. "I- I need to tell you something..."

Tristan looked at him worriedly but didn't say anything.

Finally, Miles just spit it out. "I cheated," he said. "Once. I hooked up with Lola, I'm so sorry-"

Tristan didn't look at him for a minute. Then, he sighed. He looked hurt, but he didn't seem angry. "I-KIND-OF-FIGURED."

"Wha-what?" Miles said.

Tristan shrugged. "YOU-WERE-SPENDING-A-LOT-OF-TIME-TOGETHER-FOR-THE-PLAY." He paused. "PLUS-I-WAS-KIND-OF-IN-A-COMA-FOR-THREE-WHOLE-MONTHS."

Miles looked at Tristan with confusion. "Do you- do you hate me?"

Tristan shook his head. "BUT-DID-YOU... DID-YOU-LOVE-HER?"

Miles bit his lip. "Yeah, I guess," he said honestly. "I couldn't have made it through everything without her."

Tristan nodded. Those words had hurt, Miles could tell. "WHO-DO-YOU-WANT-TO-BE-WITH?"

" _You_ ," Miles said instinctively. "I know it sounds messed up, Tris... but, everything was about you." He bit his lip. "Even Lola." He didn't quite believe the words coming out of his mouth, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

Tristan nodded. "OKAY."

Miles was shocked. ""Okay"?" he said in disbelief. "But I- I cheated on you..."

Tristan sighed. "IT-WAS-JUST-ONCE-RIGHT?"

Miles nodded. "But um, Tris, there's something else." If the cheating confession hadn't broken them, this just might. "Lola- she's um, well... she's pregnant. And it's mine."

Tristan let go of Miles' hand. "HOW-LONG-HAVE-YOU-KNOWN?"

Miles looked at him, puzzled. He had expected him to say something else. "Uh, a few weeks, I guess," he said quietly.

Tristan shook his head, laughing under his breath. "SO-NOT-ONLY-DID-YOU-CHEAT... YOU-LIED-TO-ME-ABOUT-THIS-TOO."

Miles tried to find the words. "I wanted to tell you, Tris, I did. But-"

"I'M-DONE-WITH-YOUR-EXCUSES." Tristan looked away, a pained look on his face. "I-CAN'T-DO-THIS. WE'RE-DONE."

Miles opened his mouth to say something, but instead just turned to walk out the door. "Take care, Tris," he said, tearing up. "Take care."


	4. Reality

I got a request to write Frankie's reaction; I'll do that soon!! Thanks for reading xx

 **Chapter 4: Reality**

The next day, Lola walked into the theater for rehearsal. She didn't feel so good-- she'd been pretty queasy lately.

"Hey," Grace said. "We need to run through all the scenes again. This time, go a little faster-- we don't have all day."

"Of course, it would help if our leading man would show up on time for once," Jonah said annoyedly as Miles walked in late.

"Sorry," Miles grumbled. He looked like hell. He took his place next to Lola, not making eye contact. "Let's just get this crap over with."

"That's the spirit," Jonah muttered. "Now, let's go. From the top."

Miles started reciting his lines, but Lola didn't register any of them. A sudden sick feeling came over her. _Oh no,_ she thought. She put her hand over her mouth and ran off stage, straight to the garbage can.

"Ewww," Jonah said.

Miles ran over to her and put his hand on her back. "Are you okay?" he asked, a little freaked out.

Lola lifted her head up. "I uh- I think I'm sick," she lied to Jonah and Grace. "Maybe we should take the day off from rehearsal."

Grace sighed. "Fine by me. Hollingsworth, you better have those lines down soon. You called Hope "pope" at one point today."

Miles waited until Grace and Jonah had safely left the room. "Lola," he said worriedly. "Have you been to see a doctor yet?"

Lola shook her head. "Uh, no," she admitted.

Miles sighed. "Well, we have to get you to one," he said hurriedly. "It's important, you know, for the baby."

Lola laughed slightly. "You're suddenly so concerned," she muttered.

Miles looked down. "Look, I'm sorry I haven't-I haven't really been there for you lately." He looked up at her. "But that's going to change, starting now." He reached his hand out. "Let me take you to the doctor," he said. "Please."

Lola sighed. "Fine," she said. "Let's go."

Lola and Miles sat in the waiting room at the doctor's office. They still were barely speaking; things just felt too weird.

Miles decided to break the ice. "Have you uh... have you been sick a lot lately?" he asked quietly.

Lola looked up from her copy of _Vogue_. "Sort of," she said. "I mean, I've been feeling super nauseous and stuff." She put the magazine down. "But I guess that's normal when you're... well, when you're pregnant."

 _Pregnant._ The word still made them both uncomfortable. Sure, students at Degrassi got pregnant all the time, but Lola never thought it would happen to her. And especially not with her best friend's older brother.

Lola tried to change the subject. "How's everything with Tristan?" she asked awkwardly.

Miles sighed. "Couldn't tell you. We broke up."

"Oh Miles, I'm so sorry," Lola said.

"Yeah," Miles muttered. "Well, he kinda wigged out about the baby. Can't say I blame him, honestly."

"Wait," Lola said, startled. "You told Tristan about the baby?"

Miles looked at her. "Well, I mean... he kinda had to know."

"But no one else knows, right?" Lola said, a worried look on her face.

"Um, well," Miles said sheepishly. "Zoe does."

"You told _Zoe_?"

"No!" Miles said defensively. "She overheard us talking about it a few weeks ago. But no one else. I swear."

Lola looked like she wanted to cry. "Great," she said. "Now everyone's gonna think I'm the school slut."

"No, don't-don't say that," Miles said, awkwardly putting his arm around her. "Jesus Lola, if anyone's a slut here, it's me."

That made Lola laugh a little. But then she started to cry. "It's just not fair," she whispered.

"What isn't?"

" _This_ ," Lola said, patting her stomach. "All of it. I wasn't supposed to get knocked up at 16. From my first time, too."

Miles rubbed her back. "Hey," he said softly. "It's going to be okay, alright? Everything is going to be okay." He didn't quite believe it would be, but he had to be strong for her.

"Oh god," Lola said, suddenly laughing. "Frankie's gonna _kill_ me."

Miles snorted. " _You_?" he said. "She's going to kick my ass for knocking you up."

They both laughed, even though they still felt scared about everything.

"Lola Pacini?" a nurse called. "The doctor will see you now."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Miles asked, not sure how any of this was supposed to work.

"Duh," Lola said, hopping up from her seat. "That nurse looks scary," she whispered.

Miles laughed and followed her into the exam room. They took some tests, blood pressure, and measurements, then had Lola lie down on the table and wait for the doctor to come in.

"Hey, maybe you're not even pregnant," Miles joked, though he secretly hoped it was true.

Suddenly, the doctor walked in. "Well, all the tests came back positive," he said matter-a-factly, looking at his charts. "You're definitely pregnant."

Miles' face dropped. Lola shot him a look.

"Yeah, kinda already knew that from how sick I've been," Lola muttered.

"Morning sickness?" the doctor asked. Lola nodded. "Well, that's normal," he said. "You're about... Let's see. 8 weeks along."

Miles felt queasy too. This was all getting to be too real. "8 weeks since the party," he muttered.

"What?" the doctor said in confusion.

"Nothing," Lola said, annoyed. "Don't pay attention to him."

The doctor rolled his eyes. "I see," he said, glancing at Miles. "And this is your... boyfriend?"

"No," Miles and Lola both said immediately.

"He's the father, though," Lola added. "It's weird, we know."

The doctor shrugged. "Okay, well, let's get to the ultrasound."

"Ultrasound?" Lola said. "Already?"

The doctor rolled Lola's shirt down. "Yup, it's standard procedure," he explained. Miles stared at Lola's stomach. There wasn't a noticeable bump yet, but her tummy looked slightly different. "To make sure everything's healthy and confirm the due date." He squirted some kind of goo on her.

"Ahh," she said instinctively, shivering a little. Miles grabbed her hand. "You okay?" he asked. Lately, the slightest signs of her being sick or in pain had him on edge. He still didn't even know if he _wanted_ this baby exactly, but he still felt a sense of protectiveness over it.

Lola nodded. "I'm fine," she said quickly. "Kinda freaked out, but I'm fine."

The doctor paused for a second. "I know this can all be overwhelming," he said sympathetically. "Especially for someone your age."

"Yeah," Lola sighed.

The doctor nodded. "It is important that you take good care of yourself, though," he said. "For your sake _and_ your baby's."

Lola nodded, closing her eyes. _Your baby_ , she reminded herself. _Yours_.

The doctor moved the scanner across Lola's stomach and the screen suddenly lit up. There was a little blob, the size of a raspberry.

"Oh, _Miles_ ," Lola cried. " _Look_."

Miles stared at the screen, not believing his eyes. Their little fling really _had_ resulted in a baby.

He tried to feel something good, something happy, but all he felt was an overwhelming sense of panic. His palms were sweaty and he felt like he couldn't breathe. _He couldn't do this. He couldn't be a dad._

I'm sorry," he said quickly, then sprinted out of the room.


	5. Staring at the Mess We Made

I hope last chapter wasn't OOC for Miles, but I wanted to add some drama in.

 **Chapter 5: Staring at the Mess We Made**

The next morning, Miles stood outside Lola's door, nervously waiting for her to answer. _He'd really screwed up this time._ After he fled from the ultrasound, he'd had a full-on panic attack and headed straight to his dad's liquor cabinet. He didn't relapse-- he stopped himself before it got that far-- but he was damn near close. _Come on, man up_ , he told himself as he waited for Lola. _Man up._

Lola finally opened the door. "Oh," she sighed. "It's you."

"Lola, I came to apologize," Miles said. "I shouldn't have bailed on you like that."

"Damn right you shouldn't have," Lola muttered, shaking her head. "You know Miles, you can't just do that to me every time you freak out."

"I know-- I know," Miles sighed, ashamed. "Listen, can I come in? I just want to talk."

Lola tossed her hands up. "Fine," she said,leading him into the living room. "Whatever."

Miles took a seat on the couch. He grinned. "Your pajamas."

"What are you even talking about?" Lola said, annoyed.

"You're wearing the same ones," Miles said, smiling a little. "From... from the night of the party."

Lola rolled her eyes. "Yeah-- really awesome night, Miles." She stared at the floor. "I made _such_ great decisions."

Miles sighed. He wasn't going to be able to earn back her trust easily. "Okay Lola, I know what I did yesterday was messed up," he said. "And I'm not excusing it. But I wanna explain... why."

Lola looked at him, but didn't say anything.

"I never really saw myself as a dad," Miles said. "I didn't have a good relationship with mine. I was never good enough for him, no matter what I did." He bit his lip. "He used to um... well, he hit me. A couple of times. And once he threw a vase at me and my brother."

Lola looked at Miles now. "I didn't know it was that bad," she said sympathetically. "Frankie never told me."

Miles shrugged. "I don't talk about it much," he said. "But anyway, after my mom finally kicked him out, I started having panic attacks. I couldn't get over what he did to me, to my family." He sighed. "I guess... I guess that's why I freaked out and ran yesterday. I don't wanna be that kind of father to our baby. I don't wanna be like him."

Lola grabbed his hand. "Miles, of course not," she said calmly. "You're a good person. You're gonna be a good dad."

Miles smiled softly. "I promise I'll never bail on you again," he said quietly.

Lola sighed. "You really mean it?"

"I _swear_ ," Miles promised.

Lola nodded. "Okay," she said. She was quiet for a minute, then added, "To be honest, Miles, I'm worried about being a good parent too. I mean, my mom left me when I was younger. I don't really know what it takes to be a good mom. And I mean, my dad doesn't even know about... _this."_ She smoothed her hand over her stomach. "I don't know how I'm gonna tell him. What if he kicks me out? Then I'll have nobody."

"That's not true," Miles said. "You have me." He held her for a minute, just hugging her and rubbing her back. It felt kind of nice, just the two of them sitting like this. Weird, but nice.

Lola wiped her eyes. "I'm gonna get fat, you know," she laughed.

"And you'll still be as beautiful as ever," Miles said, smiling.

Lola smiled back. "You'd better go before my dad gets home," she said, letting go. "I'm not allowed to have boys over when I'm home alone. Seems kind of ironic now, doesn't it?"

Miles stood up. "Yeah, I guess so," he said, chuckling. He reached for the door. "I'll uh-- I'll call you?"

Lola smiled. "Yeah," she said. "Call me." Then, just as Miles was leaving, she leaned in and planted a kiss on his cheek. He just grinned and hopped into his car, giving her a small wave as he drove off.

Lola shut the door behind her. She leaned against the door, hand on her stomach. _Crap_ , she realized. _She still liked him._


	6. Coming Undone

Someone requested I make the chapters longer so I'm going to try and do that- sorry this chapter wasn't too much longer though. I have a general idea of where I want the story to go, but is there anything specific you guys want to see? Should they continue the play? Should Saad still be introduced? Lola and Yael? Let me know your opinions and suggestions in the reviews. Thank you again for being such a great audience; I'm glad so many people are still as invested in this ship as I am xx

 **Coming Undone**

That Friday night, Lola sat in her room painting her nails and watching her favorite vloggers. She'd been feeling lost in her own little world lately. There was a time not long ago when every Friday night meant sleepovers, mani-pedis, or shopping with Frankie and Shay, but those occasions were becoming rarer and rarer. They were both so wrapped up in their boyfriends nowadays that Lola couldn't help but feel like an outsider at times.

She hadn't told either one of them about Miles, much less about the baby. She was going to to tell them- they were her best friends after all- but then she overheard their comments while she was waiting for the test results.

 _"Can you imagine? What would people think?"_

 _"I'd die if it happened to me."_

So, Lola had lied and told them the test was negative. She knew she'd have to tell them the truth eventually- but in that moment, when her entire world was spinning and out of control, the last thing she needed was their judgmental comments. They were already so shocked a few weeks ago when they learned she'd had sex. _With who? Where was it? Why didn't you tell us? It wasn't with Tiny, right?!_ Lola couldn't stomach the thought of telling them the whole truth. Especially not Frankie.

Just then, Frankie's name lit up on Lola's phone with a text to her and Shay.

 _I need you both. My house ASAP._

Crap. Lola couldn't go over there and risk running into Miles. Wait- what was this about? Did Miles tell her? She threw on her shoes and sprinted over to Frankie's. Damage control- she needed to get over there and explain herself before things got any worse.

Almost immediately after Lola rang the Hollingsworths' doorbell, Frankie rushed outside and hugged her, sobbing. Lola was confused, to say the least. She'd expected Frankie to be upset, but not like this.

"I can't believe he broke up with me!" Frankie cried.

Lola let out a small sigh of relief, even though she felt guilty for doing so. This was about Jonah, not the baby. Thank god- boy problems she could handle. Baby drama, not so much.

"I'm so sorry, Franks," she said, hugging her back. "Do you wanna talk about it?" The two of them went into the living room and Lola listened to Frankie spill every detail about how Jonah thought she was too immature and crazy.

"God," Frankie sighed, wiping her eyes. "I can't believe I almost slept with him. What was I thinking, Lo?"

Lola laughed nervously. "Yeah," she muttered. "It's easy to rush into something you're not ready for, I guess."

"Speaking of," Frankie mused. "We never did talk about your little tryst. Are you ever gonna tell me who it was with?"

Lola froze. "It's uh.. it's not that important," she said, looking down at the floor.

Frankie shrugged and reached for the fruit bowl on the coffee table. "Well," she said, popping a grape in her mouth. "At least you're not pregnant." She giggled, expecting Lola to laugh back.

Lola bit her lip. "Frankie, I-"

"Shay! You're here!"

Lola had never been so glad to see someone in her life. She ran up and gave Shay a hug. "Frankie was just filling me in. You'll never believe what Jonah did to her," she said, trying desperately to redirect the conversation.

Lola sat there for awhile while Shay and Lola blabbed on and on about Jonah and how much of a jerk he was. Lola felt bad for not really caring, but she just couldn't get her mind off of the fact that Miles could come barging in at any minute. When everyone was quiet for a second, Lola spoke up and asked where the rest of the Hollingsworth family was, trying to sound casual.

"Mom's gone for the weekend at some convention," Frankie said, munching on a bag of chips. That girl sure knew how to find solace in comfort food. "Hunter's over at Yael's. And Miles... well, he's out, I guess."

Lola breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh," she said coolly. "Alright."

"Yeah, how is Miles?" Shay asked. "He looks so sad ever since he and Tristan broke up. Whatever happened with them, anyhow?"

Lola felt like she was going to be sick. And not just morning sickness this time.

"I don't know," Frankie shrugged. "He won't tell anyone why they broke up. It's so sad, though. Miles really loved him."

Lola sprang up from the couch, sprinting straight towards the bathroom. She leaned over the toilet, waiting for vomit to come up again. But it never came. Instead, her palms got sweaty, her face turned red, and she gasped for breath, nearly hyperventilating.

"Lo! Are you okay?" Shay cried.

Frankie rushed over to Lola and put her hand on her back, a worried look on her face. "Lo," she murmured, looking concerned. "What's going on?"

Calm down, calm down, Lola told herself. She knew what this was- an anxiety attack, just like Miles had the other day at the doctor's. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, forcing herself to relax at least slightly. She knew this stress couldn't be good for the baby.

She stood up slowly, taking another deep breath. "I'm fine," she lied, trying to smile. "Must've been something I ate." She wasn't doing a very good job of being convincing, she knew.

Frankie shook her head, still looking worried. "You've been acting weird for weeks," she said.

Lola didn't look at either of them. "I told you, I'm fine," she snapped.

"Clearly, you're not," Shay protested, looking equally worried. "You've barely talked to us at school lately. You never eat lunch. You skipped class the other day."

"Yeah," Frankie agreed. "Plus, you've been tired like, all the time. You're quiet around everyone. And you got sick the other day when we went out to eat, even though you barely touched your food." Frankie laughed nervously. "What, are you like, actually pregnant?" she said half-jokingly.

Lola looked at her friends and burst into tears.

"Oh my god," Frankie and Shay both said at the same time. " _Oh my god._ "

"But you said you weren't!" Shay said. "You told us the test was negative."

"Yeah, because I overheard you guys talking about how mortified you would be if you were me!" Lola said, still crying.

"We're sorry," Frankie pleaded, looking like she was going to cry too.

"We should have been more supportive," Shay offered, nodding in agreement. They pulled Lola into a group hug, holding each other tightly.

It was quiet for a moment, then Frankie broke the ice. "Lo," Frankie said quietly, a serious look on her face as they all let go of each other. "Who's the father?"

Suddenly, a door slammed and footsteps followed. Miles walked by and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of the three of them. He and Lola immediately locked eyes.

Frankie stood there, frozen. Slowly, everything began to make sense- the party, the play, his breakup with Tristan, Lola's refusal to say who she had slept with. She stared at her brother in disbelief. " _You_ ," she gasped.


	7. Can't Quit You

Glad the last chapter was well received! I kind of jumped around POV's a little this chapter. Still open to suggestions/requests xx

 **Can't Quit You**

In that moment, the room went completely quiet. Nobody moved- Miles, Lola, and Frankie all locked eyes with each other. Shay just stood there uncomfortably, knowing she definitely didn't want to be a part of whatever storm was brewing.

Lola looked back and forth between Miles and Frankie worriedly. She'd seen them fight before of course- they bickered frequently like all siblings- but this was something else, something serious.

Frankie finally broke the silence. "So you just went and slept with my best friend?" she said to Miles angrily.

Miles stumbled on his words. "Well, you dated mine!" he pointed out.

"I didn't _sleep_ with Winston," Frankie said defensively. She glanced at Lola, looking hurt. "How could you not tell me?"

Lola started to say something, but was interrupted by Miles. "Look, Franks, it's complicated."

Frankie sighed. "Obviously," she said, shaking her head. She took a deep breath. "What are you two planning on doing about the baby?"

"I'm... we're..." Lola turned to Miles "...keeping it," she said quietly.

"Lo, have you thought this through?" Shay said gently. She didn't want to seem judgmental, but she was a little shocked at this entire situation.

Frankie nodded. "Have you thought about doctor bills? College? _Finishing high school?_ Money?"

"I have the trust from Dad," Miles said.

"But you can't access it until you're 25," Frankie reminded him.

"Have you considered adoption, maybe?" Shay suggested.

" _Stop!_ " Lola snapped, fed up with their comments. "Okay, maybe you're right- I'm too young and immature to have this baby. Maybe we don't have everything figured out yet." She took a deep breath. "But I'm _keeping_ it. End of story."

Frankie shook her head. "Okay, I need a breather," she said, leaving the room.

"Yeah, I think I'd better head home," Shay said sheepishly, following Frankie out the door. "It's kinda late."

Miles and Lola, now alone, looked at each other nervously. "We messed up," Miles said, slumping against the door.

"You _think_?" Lola muttered, joining him on the floor. She rubbed her stomach and sighed, exhausted. This baby wasn't even born yet and it had already changed so much forever.

Miles sighed. "Can I ask you something?" he asked quietly.

Lola nodded. "Yeah?"

"Well," Miles said. "You were with Tiny for like, eight months, but you never... did it with him." He looked her in the eye. "What made you sleep with me, then?"

Lola bit her lip. "I don't know," she said, still running her hand over her stomach. "When I was with Tiny, I guess a part of me always knew that he was into Shay. I didn't want to get my heart broken."

"But we slept together while I was still with Tristan," Miles said, confused.

"Yeah, I know," Lola sighed. "I knew you were in love with him. But I also trusted you. I felt like we had... a _connection_." They locked eyes. "I haven't really felt that with anyone else before."

Miles felt his heart begin to race as he looked into Lola's eyes. _This girl is so beautiful,_ he thought to himself, placing his hand on her leg. _So perfect._ He hadn't been lying to Tristan- he really had loved her. Maybe still did. He wasn't sure.

"You know," he said to her, moving closer. "I really couldn't have made it through everything without you."

Lola smiled a little. "Can I ask you something too?" she murmured.

"Anything," Miles said. He reached for her hand, their fingers touching. It felt... _electric_ , almost. Like when their fingers intertwined, their souls did too.

Lola took a deep breath. "Did I mean anything to you?" she said. "Like, at all?"

Miles nodded. "Yeah," he murmured. He leaned in closer. "You were my _hope_."

Lola couldn't resist any longer. Without a second thought, she grabbed his face and kissed him as hard as she could. He kissed her back. There was a hunger between them that only each other could satisfy. Even with the screwed up situation they were in, things felt right. Peaceful, even.

They kept kissing, their hands wandering everywhere. Somehow, pregnancy had made Lola even more in the mood. They ended up on top of each other, shirts off, still on the bathroom floor.

 _Ding._

Miles groaned. "Hang on a sec," he grunted, reaching into his pocket to check his phone. He froze.

"Miles?" Lola asked worriedly, still lying on the floor. "Miles, what is it?"

Miles grabbed his shirt. "It's... It's Tristan," he said hurriedly, throwing his polo on. "Something's happened."

Lola sat up. "But.. you two are..."

"Yeah," Miles muttered, reaching for the doorknob. "We're still broken up. But I should go see him." He gave Lola a quick peck on the cheek, then walked out the door. "I'll call you as soon as I can."

Lola sighed, throwing her top back on. Once again, she was everyone's second-choice.


	8. Closure

I'm sorry that the timeline is kind of messed up here; it doesn't follow along with the show's events perfectly. I think at the moment it's around November and Lola is about 9 weeks along. I know some people felt the Triles breakup was too rushed, so I hope this chapter makes up for it...

 **Closure**

Miles raced to the hospital as quickly as he could. A pang of guilt hit him as he drove, knowing he was letting Lola down yet again. He felt like he was stuck between two places. On one hand, there was Lola, pregnant with his baby. He needed to be there for her every step of the way. And he really did care about her- a lot. But then on the other hand, there was Tristan, who he had spent months next to in the hospital, desperately hoping he would wake up. He couldn't just turn off his feelings for either of them.

He ran into the hospital waiting room, where Mrs. Milligan greeted him. "I came as soon as I got your text," he said hurriedly. "What happened?"

Mrs. Milligan put her hand on Miles' shoulder, trying to calm him down. "He's okay, honey," she reassured him. "He slipped and fell and messed up his leg a little. It scared us all, but he's alright." She let go of Miles' shoulder. "I know you two are broken up," she said. She didn't seem angry or anything, so maybe Tristan hadn't told her the reason behind their split. "But he wants to see you."

Miles sighed, a mixture of relief and anxiety. "Okay," he nodded, catching his breath. "Okay."

He followed her into Tristan's hospital wing, where Tristan was lying in bed, half awake. He still seemed out of it, but he also looked stronger. More like himself again. "Tristan, honey," Mrs. Milligan said, gently making sure he was awake. "Miles is here to see you." She glanced at Miles. "I'll leave you two alone for a minute," she said, leaving the room.

Miles stared at his former boyfriend, a million emotions running through his mind. It felt kind of surreal to see him, to be sitting by his bed talking to him again like he did all last summer. "Tris," he murmured. "Are you okay?"

"F-fine," Tristan muttered weakly.

Miles was startled by the sound of Tristan's own voice. "You're- you're speaking!"

"Yea-yeah," Tristan said. His voice wasn't like it used to be- it was slow, quiet, and raspy. It looked like it took a ton of effort to utter a single syllable. But it was his voice, nevertheless. Miles had missed hearing it.

"I didn't think you'd want to see me again," Miles admitted.

Tristan tried to get his words out. "I... I wanted to- to... t-talk."

Miles nodded. "Okay," he said, his palms shaking. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I... I was so angry whe- when you told... me... about... Lo-Lola," Tristan murmured. "But maybe... maybe I... said goodbye... too ee-easily."

Miles stared at him. "What are you saying?"

Tristan sighed. "I'm say-saying that-" he wheezed. Miles quickly handed him the dixie cup of water that was by his bedside. He gulped it down quickly. "I'm... saying... if you really love... me... and... don't ha-have feelings... for... her... anymore-" he took another gulp of water. "I'm willing to... try... with you."

Miles was shocked. A week ago, this was all he wanted- Tristan forgiving him, loving him again. He did care about Tristan. He really did. But, something didn't feel right. Even sitting by Tristan's bedside table, he couldn't get Lola out of his mind. She had always been there for him, unconditionally. She accepted him for who he was, right from the beginning. And whenever he was with her, he felt... _happy_. He rarely felt happiness these days. But with Lola, things just felt _right_.

Things didn't feel that way with Tristan, not anymore. There was too much space between them. And as much as he wanted things to feel the way they were before the crash, they just didn't.

"Tris..." Miles said quietly. "I'll always care about you. _Always_. But..." He bit his lip. "I think I'm in love with Lola." He couldn't look at him. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

Tristan nodded sadly. He was heartbroken, Miles could tell. "I see," Tristan said, holding back tears.

Miles sighed deeply. Even though he knew this was for the best, he felt horribly guilty. "You've meant the world to me, Tris," he said. "I don't regret any moment I've spent with you." He started to tear up too. "I'm so sorry for cheating," he said. "I never meant to hurt you."

Tristan nodded, wiping the last of his tears. "It's for the... best," he whispered. "Goodbye, Miles."

Miles squeezed his hand. "You can call me for anything," he told him, and he meant it. "You were a big part of my life."

Tristan didn't say anything.

Miles took a deep breath. "Well," he said, walking out of the room. "Take care, Tris."

As Miles left the hospital, a wave of emotions came over him. He was sad- and he felt guilty- but he also felt better. Free. He browsed through the photos on his phone and paused at an oomfchat he had saved of Lola. She was wearing a goofy sweater and using the panda filter. He smiled. For the first time in a long time, he felt something special- _hope_.


	9. Not Enough

Thank you again for all your feedback; I never expected so many people to be invested in this story! I'm having tons of fun writing it and plan to keep it up for a long, long time. Feel free to leave reviews about what you liked or disliked so I can improve xx

 **Not Enough**

Lola walked into school that Monday dreading it even more than usual. There was a quiz first period that she'd completely forgotten to study for, she had bad heartburn, and, most importantly, she had no idea where she stood with either Miles or Frankie. After Miles left on Friday, she couldn't find Frankie, so she just went home. She didn't hear from either of them the rest of the weekend, though she didn't make any effort to contact them either. Maybe it was for the best that her and Miles' make-out got interrupted- she wasn't really in any place to have a relationship right now. At least, that's what she tried to tell herself. Things just kept getting more and more complicated and she didn't know how much more she could take.

She spotted Frankie and Shay at their lockers. _Here goes nothing_ , she thought to herself as she approached them. "Hey," she said awkwardly. "You guys ready for the chem quiz? I totally spaced about studying."

Shay glanced at Frankie, then at Lola. "Yeah, it's supposed to be tough," she muttered.

Frankie still didn't say anything.

"Franks?" Lola said. She just wanted her to say something. Anything to make this less weird.

Frankie slammed her locker shut. "I'll see you in class," she said, walking away without looking.

Lola leaned against the locker. "Great," she muttered. "Now I've lost my best friend too."

Shay sighed. "She doesn't hate you, Lo," she tried to re-assure her. "It's just- she just feels awkward. I mean, it's kinda weird to have you and Miles hooking up."

Lola stared at Shay. "We're not- we're not hooking up," she said, stumbling on her words. "I mean, obviously we _did_ , but... we're not like, dating or anything."

Shay shrugged. "I don't know," she said, shaking her head. "She'll come around. Just... maybe give her some space."

Lola rolled her eyes. "Yeah," she sighed, resting her hand on her stomach. "I guess space is exactly what everyone needs for awhile."

"I'm still here for you, Lo," Shay said apologetically. "Okay?"

Lola moved her hand, worried people might be looking. Nobody really seemed to know about the pregnancy yet, but she didn't want to risk having everyone find out. She wanted to hide it for as long as she could. "Yeah, okay," she said. She took a deep breath. "Let's get to chem," she said, faking a smile. Shay put her arm around her and they walked into class together.

Frankie was already there- and she had only saved one seat. Shay shrugged at Lola apologetically. "I'll catch up with you after the quiz," she promised. She went and sat down next to Frankie, who just ignored Lola.

Lola shook her head and took a seat in the back next to one of the new kids, Saad. He was always quiet and seemed to be alone a lot, and it kind of intimidated her. But today when Lola sat next to him, he nodded and gave her a genuine smile. Lola smiled back. She really needed that today.

The quiz went awfully, but that was the least of Lola's problems. She hadn't even figured out how she was going to manage school on top of the baby. _Would Miles stay home from college for her next year? Would she have to miss part of senior year?_ So many things she needed to figure out in so little time.

"Lab partners?"

Lola looked up. "Huh?" she said. She had completely spaced out.

"I... neither of us has a partner," Saad said nervously.

Lola glanced at Shay and Frankie, already putting lab goggles on together. "Oh, right," Lola said, faking a smile. "Yeah. Sure."

They worked well together, it turned out- Saad was good at science and didn't try and make awkward small talk. Lola let him handle most of the chemicals. She wasn't sure what materials were safe for her to be around.

Just when they were nearly done mixing the chemicals though, Saad accidentally dropped the test tube and spilled it near Lola. "I'm so sorry," he sputtered, handing her a towel right away.

"Oh crap, oh crap, crap," Lola panicked. She took a deep breath. Nothing had spilled directly on her, thank god. But the smell of the chemicals made her nauseous. "I... I think I'd better sit down for a minute," she muttered.

Saad looked at her, confused. "I'm sorry, did I- did I spill any of it on you?" he asked, handing her another paper towel.

Lola shook her head. "No," she reassured him, catching her breath. "I'm just not feeling great."

Saad nodded. "The lab's almost done," he told her. "Why don't you go to the nurse and let me finish it?"

"Really?" Lola said. He was so nice- she couldn't believe she'd ever been afraid of him. She smiled softly. "Thanks." He smiled back as she walked away.

Lola got a hall pass and headed to the nurse's office to lie down. But outside the classroom, someone was already waiting for her.

"Hey," Miles said. He'd been waiting outside the chem lab- he must have known she had first period with Frankie. "You okay?"

Lola stared at him in disbelief. "Am I _okay_?" she laughed. She took a deep breath. "Well, let's see," she said. "My best friend isn't speaking to me, the guy I like ditched me _again_ the other night, I just failed my chemistry quiz..." She glanced around to make sure the hallways were empty still. "Oh. And then on top of that, I'm _pregnant_. So, no. I wouldn't say I'm "okay.""

Miles sighed. "Look, about the other night-"

Lola started to walk away. "Just save it, Miles," she muttered. "I'm not in the mood."

Miles ran after her. "No, listen," he said grabbing her shoulder. "Look, Tristan's mom asked me to come to the hospital. But I told him that he and I are over, because..." He bit his lip. "Because I want to be with you. It's _you_ I love, Lola."

Just then, the bell rang. People started flocking out of classrooms. A few people stared at Lola and Miles, Frankie included.

Lola backed away. "Look, Miles," she said quietly. "I care about you a lot, okay? But even though the other night was fun and all-" She glanced across the hall at Frankie, who was still watching them. "- For right now, I think we should just be friends."

Miles looked at Lola as if she had just slapped him across the face. "Just friends?" he said. "Lola, when were we ever _just friends_?"

Lola sighed. This was hard for her too. She wanted to trust Miles, but after the way things had ended the other night, she just couldn't. Not again. And she didn't want to make things anymore complicated between her and Frankie, either. "It's just... it's just not the right time, okay?" she whispered. She glanced around. "We should just focus on the baby right now."

Miles looked down. He was hurt, Lola could tell. "Okay," he said. "Just- just tell me what you need. And I'll try and figure out the money stuff."

Lola nodded. "Well," she said quietly. "I still have to figure out how I'm going to tell my Dad, so-" She glanced across the room and saw that Frankie was gone. "Just keep everything on the down low, okay?"

"Yeah," Miles sighed. "Okay."

Lola turned and headed the opposite direction, but looked back for a second. "I'll see you at rehearsal, Miles," she said, wiping her eyes.


	10. Strings Attached

I know a few of you want me to bring Yael into the story, so I'll do that in a couple of chapters! I actually have a pretty good idea of where the story is going now. Thank you once again for your feedback! xx

 **Strings Attached**

A couple of weeks later, Miles walked into the theater for rehearsal. He had grown to really hate the play- it was weird for him to act out being in love with Coma Boy still when all he really cared about was Hope. But the play was opening that weekend and it was important for Grace and Jonah's university applications, so he had to just suck it up.

He'd been spending a lot of his time reading up on baby stuff. Lola was three months along now and he'd learned that their baby already had arms, fingers, and toes. He'd also found some cribs online that he thought Lola might like.

He still had yet to tell either of his parents- Frankie hadn't ratted him out, surprisingly. He and Frankie of weren't really speaking, though. She was still angry at him for messing around with her best friend behind her back. Miles could tell she didn't think he was good enough for Lola.

Miles and Lola had kept things strictly platonic since their hallway conversation. It killed him to act like he wasn't in love with her when he was, but he knew he had to respect her wishes. He'd also seen her hanging out with Saad quite a bit lately, which only made him feel worse. He couldn't stomach the thought of her with anyone else.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw her walk in. She was wearing baggier clothing lately- she was just barely beginning to show, so if she wore her usual tight clothes, it would be difficult to hide it. Her skin looked clearer and her hair shinier. She was beautiful, Miles thought as he watched her.

She tapped him on the shoulder after rehearsal. "Hey," she said hurriedly. "Can we talk? We need to touch base on some stuff."

"Yeah, sure," Miles said. He eyed her worriedly. "Everything okay?"

Lola laughed. "As okay as anything can be these days." She fastened her hair into a pony tail. "Yeah, I'm- we're- _it_ and I are fine," she said. She let out a deep breath. "But we need to talk money. I mean, I've got some savings from the restaurant, but it's not going to be enough."

Miles sighed. "You haven't told your dad yet?"

Lola shook her head. "I can't," she said, sounding anxious all of a sudden. "I know I'll have to do it soon, but just... not yet." She looked away from him.

"He wouldn't like, kick you out or anything, though," Miles said nervously. "...right?"

Lola shrugged. "I don't know," she said quietly. "I mean, I don't think so, but... we have to be prepared for anything, you know?"

Miles sighed. "Okay, okay, here's what we'll do," he said, trying to keep both of them calm. "Worse case scenario, you can crash at my place. Mom's always liked you, I'm sure I could convince her to let you stay for a bit if you need it." He took a deep breath. "And I'm going to ask my dad for the money."

Lola looked at him worriedly. "But," she said. "your dad is- didn't he-"

Miles shook his head. "Yeah, he's pretty awful," he muttered. "But he's got money and we really need some help right now. So, I'm going to talk to him."

"Miles, are you sure?" Lola asked, putting her hand on his shoulder.

It sent shivers down his spine when she touched him. "Yeah," he murmured. "You're my family now, Lola. And I need to protect us."

Lola hugged him tightly. As he held her, he felt her tiny bump between them. It was strange, knowing their baby was right there. They smiled at each other.

"Want a ride home?" Miles asked.

Lola's smile suddenly faded. "Um, actually, Saad's supposed to meet me at the Dot," she said, looking down at the floor. "We've got this chem project, so..."

Miles nodded sadly, looking away too. "Yeah," he muttered. "I get it."

"Miles, come on, it's not like that-"

"Do you- do you have feelings for him?" Miles asked, still not looking her in the eye. He'd seen them in the halls together. He saw the way they looked at each other. She had the same look on her face with Saad that she used to have with him.

Lola just stared at him for a second, not saying anything. "He doesn't know," she said, biting her lip. "About the baby."

Miles laughed under his breath. "That's kinda screwed up, Lola," he muttered. "Don't you think? To lead him on like that."

Lola rolled her eyes. "You're one to talk about leading people on."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Miles said, his face turning sour.

Lola shook her head. "Forget it," she muttered, walking towards the door. "I'll see you this weekend for the play, okay?" She turned around for a second. "And by the way," she said. "You owe me an apology card for how swollen my feet are. They're _never_ going to fit into my size six heels again." She slammed the door behind her.

 _Dammit_ , Miles sighed. Once again, he kept screwing things up.

That evening, Miles drove over to his dad's apartment, bracing himself. He didn't think he'd ever go back there voluntarily. But he couldn't think about only himself anymore- he had to put Lola and the baby first.

He rang the doorbell, but there was no answer. He rang it again. Still no answer. He was just about to turn around and go home when his dad opened the door.

"Miles," his father said, startled. "I didn't know you were coming by."

Miles felt his heart pound. "I won't be long," he said shakily.

"Well, come in, come in," his dad said, ushering him into the living room. "Tell me, how's school? The play?"

Miles shook his head. He was really going to try and play father now, after all that he'd done. "Actually, to be honest, I'm not hear to chat," Miles said frankly, taking a seat on the sofa. "I- I sort of need a favor."

His dad sat down. "What do you need?" he asked, his voice less warm now.

"I really hate to ask," Miles said. "But I don't know where else to turn to. I- I need to borrow some money." He paused nervously. "A.. a couple grand."

His dad looked at him in disbelief. "A _couple_ _grand_?" he said. "What'd you get yourself into... you wreck the car? Owe someone for drugs?"

Miles shook his head. "Forget it," he said, getting up.

His dad grabbed his shoulder. "Sit back down," he barked. Miles shivered slightly- it still made him anxious to have his dad lay a hand on him. "Now, you're not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on."

Miles laughed under his breath. "Fine," he said, tossing his hands up. "You really wanna know? I got a girl pregnant!"

His dad stared at him. " _Seriously_?" he said, his angry. "Do you know how bad this makes me look as mayor? You having a kid?" He shook his head. "Who is the girl, anyway?"

Miles bit his lip. "Lola," he said quietly. "You know. Frankie's friend."

His dad just shook his head. "This is your mess," he said. "I'm not going to fix it for you."

 _Crap_. "No, Dad, look, I just need-"

"No!" his dad snapped. "This is your problem. Get the money yourself." He groaned. "Your mother's going to _love_ this."

Miles walked towards the door. "Forget it," he grumbled. "I'm out of here."

His dad looked at him. "I'm just so disappointed," he said coldly.

Miles slammed the door behind him. He ran to his car, his face hot and tears building in his eyes. He pulled out his phone and dialed.

"Hey, Esme? Do you still have those pills?"


	11. Stage Fright

Just a short chapter-- a long, eventful one is coming up next. Would you guys prefer I work Yael's gender identity storyline into the plot or just have them already identify as nonbinary with they/them pronouns? I don't want to misgender them!

 **Stage Fright**

The next day, Miles walked into school smiling and laughing. The sun seemed brighter, the birds were singing louder, and the air felt fresher. All thanks to his old friend, he thought as he shoved the bottle of pills into his backpack.

Winston greeted him in the hall with a slug. "'Sup, dude?" he said. "Ready for the big night?" They hadn't talked much lately-- Winston had been too busy with student council. The last thing Winston had heard was Miles' breakup with Tristan. He had yet to tell him anything about Lola and the baby.

Miles just smiled. "What's tonight?" he said.

"Uh, your _play_ ," Winston said. "You know, the one you've been working on all semester."

Miles laughed. "Oh, Chewy," he giggled. "Who cares about that?" He put his arm around him. "Come on, what's the real agenda for tonight? Party at my place? Bust into my dad's liquor cabinet? Hook up with some university hotties?"

Winston pushed him off. "What's with you, man?" he said, scowling. "You're acting weird."

Miles shook his head, still laughing. "You people are so boring. Have a little fun for a change."

Winston groaned, realizing what was really going on here. "You're _high_ at _school_?" he whispered, gritting his teeth. "What the hell, Miles!"

Miles shrugged playfully. "Why not?" he mused. "Everything's gone to shit. Might as well have fun while I still can." He tapped his watch. "Time's ticking, Chewy."

Winston stared at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

"You know," Miles laughed. "Only six more months til my life's over." He shrugged. "Gotta enjoy my freedom while I can."

Now Winston was really concerned. "Miles, what are you talking about? What's in six months?"

" _You know_ ," Miles teased, as if he and Winston were sharing some kind of silly joke. "Maybe I'll be just like _my_ dad. It'll be so much fun, getting to yell at the kid and tell him how disappointed I am." He laughed. "That's what dad's do, right?"

" _What_?" Winston said.

"Oh for God's sakes, Chewy!" Miles said, agitated all of a sudden. "The _baby_! Me and Lola!"

Winston stared at Miles, shocked. "You got Lola _pregnant_?" he shouted without thinking.

As soon as Winston said it, a billion heads turned around. Girls whispered to each other. Friends flocked off into groups, giggling and gasping and going, "oh my god!"

" _Shh_ ," Miles whispered, apparently unaware of all the people staring at the two of them. "It's a secret!"

Just then, Lola sprinted past them, sobbing. She covered her face, pushing through the staring crowd. She ran into the girls' room and slammed the door behind her, blubbering like a baby.

Somebody started to open one of the stall doors. Lola groaned, turning away. She'd thought she was alone.

"Lola," a voice said gently. "What's wrong?"

Without a second thought, Lola hugged Yael, sobbing. The two of them had never been particularly close, but in that moment, she just really needed a friend.

"Hey, it's okay," Yael said, a little surprised but still trying to sound reassuring. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Lola wiped her eyes and laughed softly. "How much time do you have?"


	12. Show Biz

Sorry for the delay with this chapter-- rather than take even longer, I decided to just break up a really long chapter into a couple instead. So I decided to incorporate Yael's gender identity storyline into the plot later (in a couple of chapters) since it was Lola who helped them realize their identity. For this chapter I'm using she/her ONLY because the storyline hasn't happened here _yet_. I will use they/them once I introduce the nonbinary storyline.

 **Show Biz**

Lola and Yael had been talking in the girls' room for over an hour now, bolting the door shut so no one else could barge in. Lola told her everything-- her and Miles' complicated relationship, the pregnancy, her and Frankie's fight, the play. Lola was surprised at how good of a listener Yael was. She'd always thought Yael was a little judgmental and stuck up, but she didn't bat an eye or make any snarky comments the whole time Lola vented to her. She just listened. And that was exactly what Lola needed.

"I can't do the play tonight," Lola sighed, slumped against the wall. "There's just _no way_ I can face all those people."

Yael nodded. "Okay, but think about it," she said. "The reason everyone's gossiping is because they think the pregnancy is something to be ashamed of. Like you should just go into hiding for nine months or something." She paused. "But what if instead of hiding, you just... owned it?"

Lola looked at Yael in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Yael sighed. "By quitting the play, you're letting everyone else win," she said. "You know, agreeing that you have something to be ashamed of."

Lola sat up, realizing what Yael was saying. "But if I go on with the show like their comments don't bother me," Lola said, "then that takes all their power away."

"Exactly," Yael said, squeezing Lola's hand. "You can do this," she reassured her, smiling.

Lola smiled back, then started to laugh. "Is this gonna interfere with my fashion vlog?"

Yael shook her head. "If Hunter ever tries to fire you again, I'll kick his ass." They both laughed.

Lola hugged Yael. "Thanks," she said, wiping her eyes. "I really mean it."

Yael smiled. "Break a leg tonight, Lo."

Miles sat in the auditorium like a kid waiting to hear his punishment. After the news of Lola's pregnancy broke this morning, Grace and Jonah called an emergency play meeting that afternoon.

He'd really done it this time, he thought to himself. The high had worn off by now and he realized what he'd done-- showing up at school on drugs, blabbing to Winston... he was lucky if Lola would ever even speak to him again. God, he hated himself sometimes.

"Well, the news is all over school," Grace said as she walked in with Jonah. "Great timing, Hollingsworth. You couldn't have filled us in on Lola's situation _before_ opening night?"

"Lola didn't want anyone to know," Miles grumbled. _So much for that._

She hasn't responded to any of my texts," Jonah said. "What are we going to do if she bails on the play?"

"Find an equally cute understudy?"

Miles turned around in shock as Lola walked in. "I-- I didn't think you'd show up," he said.

Lola sat down in the circle, putting her feet up on the edge of Miles' chair. "Yeah, well," she shrugged. "I kind of got a pep talk from someone... besides, the show must go on, right?"

Grace and Jonah looked at each other. " _Okay_ _then_ ," Grace said, getting up. "See you all tonight for dress rehearsal."

Jonah followed her out the door. "7 pm sharp," he added.

Lola and Miles were left alone in the auditorium. "Lola," Miles said quietly. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for everyone to find out."

Lola sighed. "Guess it was bound to come out eventually."

Miles looked at her. "So... we're okay, me and you?"

Lola bit her lip. "Depends," she said. "Are you on drugs again?"

" _No_ ," Miles said. "No, I swear. It was a one time slip. It won't happen again." He pulled out the old bottle of pills. "See?" he said, opening the empty container. "I flushed them all."

Lola was quiet for a minute, then nodded. "Okay then," she said, her voice serious. "But Miles, if you _ever_ take drugs around our kid--"

"I won't!" Miles interrupted. "Lola, I would never."

Lola eyed him sternly. "I mean it," she said.

Miles sighed. "Lola, I swear to you, I will never ever do anything to put our kid in danger. Okay? That baby is like--" he paused. "It's like... the most important thing in my life."

Lola squeezed his hand. "You'll be a good dad, Miles," she said softly.

He looked at her, savoring the feeling of her hand in his. "You really believe that?"

Lola smiled. "I know it," she said. She patted his hand and then let go of it. "You're a good guy, Miles." She reached down to grab her bag, but Miles handed it to her, helping her put it on. He didn't want her carrying too much weight.

"I'll see you tonight," Lola said, straightening out her back. Her bump had grown a tiny bit over the last week, Miles had noticed. She still didn't quite look visibly pregnant, but there was a change in her.

Miles sighed as he watched her leave. He loved her more and more each day... but he would never deserve her.


	13. How It Is

This chapter takes place just before winter break, so there will be a slight time jump coming up (not too much though!) Hope you guys are enjoying it so far... Keep reviewing, please! xx

 **How It Is**

Lola went to work at the restaurant that afternoon exhausted from the day she'd just had. She'd been tempted to skip work, but her dad was sick and couldn't make his shift, so she had to pick up the slack. She didn't tell Miles how much she'd been working lately- she knew he worried about her putting too much pressure on herself. But the restaurant, much like the show, had to go on.

Some kids from Degrassi stared at her while she waited tables. She'd be lying if she said it didn't bother her a little, but she knew Yael was right. She couldn't go into hiding and give everyone else the power to make her feel crappy. She had to persevere, regardless of what other people said about her.

"Table for one, please," a familiar voice said, tapping her on the shoulder.

Lola turned around. "Frankie," she gasped, caught off guard.

Frankie shrugged, smiling a little. "Do you have a minute?"

Lola nodded. "Let me just get these tacos to table three and then I'll take my break," she said, scooping up the plates. She put their food down and came back, leading Frankie into the kitchen where it was quieter. "What's up?"

Frankie glanced around the room. "I just wanted to talk," she said. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for shutting you out lately," she said quietly. "When I found out you and Miles had been hiding this huge secret, I was so upset. I was mad at you guys for hooking up and I was hurt that you didn't tell me." She paused, looking at Lola. "But then I realized that... me acting all judgy was probably the reason you never told me in the first place."

Lola nodded. "Yeah, I guess," she said, relieved just to be talking again. "But still, I shouldn't have hid everything from you."

Frankie shrugged. "No, but I understand why you did," she said. "What you're going through is really tough. I don't blame you for not wanting the whole school to find out."

Lola laughed. "I think Miles and Winston took care of that part," she muttered.

Frankie rolled her eyes. "I'm going to kill them both." She grabbed Lola's hands. "But the point is, I'm going to start being a better friend, okay? Whatever you need Lo, I'm here. If you need me to drive you to the doctor's, be there with you when you tell your dad, go to those weird yoga classes with you-"

They both laughed. "Thanks, Franks," Lola said, hugging her. "I missed you."

Frankie smiled, hugging her back. "I missed you too," she said. She shook her head. "Oh my god, I'm gonna be an aunt." She laughed. "Does this make us like, sister-in-laws?"

Lola shook her head, smiling. "Miles and I are just friends, Frankie. I swear."

Frankie smirked. "Yeah, sure- whatever you say."

Lola elbowed her. "I'm serious," she laughed. She'd be lying if she said she had absolutely no feelings for him, but after everything that had happened, she just couldn't fathom a relationship working between the two of them. Besides, she'd kind of been feeling something for Saad lately-- the way he didn't care what anyone else thought of him, how good he was with his little siblings, how he spoke his mind. But, she told herself, Saad had probably heard by now that she was pregnant with Miles' baby and probably wanted nothing to do with her anymore.

"Well," Frankie said, heading out the door. "I'll see you at the play tonight."

Lola nodded, smiling. "Thanks, Franks," she said. "See you then."

That night, Miles and Lola changed into their costumes.

"It's a packed house," Miles said, putting his jacket on. "You sure about this?"

Lola nodded. "Show must go on, right?" She paused as she tried to finish zipping up her dress. "Crap," she muttered. "It doesn't fit anymore."

"Here, let me try," Miles said. He gently put his hand on her back and slowly moved the zipper up. "There," he whispered, hand still on her back.

Lola turned around. "A little tight," she said, smoothing her hands over her tiny bump, which stuck out more in the costume. "But it'll do."

Miles smiled. "You look beautiful, Lo," he said quietly.

Lola smiled back. "Thanks, Miles." She looked like she was about to say something else, but then Grace yelled, "2 minute cue!"

Lola just nodded. "Break a leg," she said to Miles, going to her spot.

The play ran pretty smoothly for the most part. Miles was right-- it was a packed audience. Lola tried not to look at any of them.

The final scene between Hero and Hope was set. "I need to touch you," Miles recited.

"No, you never needed me," Lola said. "You needed someone. And now he needs you."

The fog machine didn't go off. There was an awkward pause. "No," Miles said, going off the script. "I need _you_. I've always needed you." He brushed her cheek. "I love you, Hope." He leaned in.

Just then, the fog machine went off, wiping Hope from the stage. Coma Boy awoke. "Hero, are you there?"

Miles ran to Rasha. "Yes," he said. He paused. He knew his line was _and I'm never leaving._ But he didn't say it. He just hugged Rasha and waited for the lights to go off.

The cast took a bow and the audience clapped. Lola eyed Miles. They both knew he didn't follow the script.

Once the lights came back on, Frankie came up and hugged them both. "Hey," she said. "You guys did great!"

Lola glanced at Miles, then back at Frankie. "Yeah," she said. "Not bad, I guess."

Miles bit his lip. "Lola--"

"Hey," a voice said. "Got a minute?"

Lola was surprised to see Saad. He handed her a bouquet of flowers. "You did well," he said. They walked behind the stage away from Miles and Frankie, who just stared.

Lola blushed, taking in the smell of the flowers. Pink roses-- her favorite. "I didn't think you'd want to come," she said. "I mean, I obviously haven't been honest with you."

Saad looked at the ground for a minute, then up at her. "I'm in no position to judge," he said, shrugging. "Before we became friends, no one ever talked to me in science class. I know what it's like to be different." He sighed, but smiled. "So, we're friends, still, yes?"

Lola looked at him, nearly tearing up. She knew she shouldn't feel this way-- but she did. Without thinking, she leaned in and kissed him.

To her surprise, he kissed her back. They both just stared at each other, shocked by what had just happened. "Well," he smiled, clearing his throat. "I'm visiting my uncle in Boston over break. But, uh... see you at school when I get back?"

Lola smiled. "Yeah," she giggled. "Guess so." They hugged quickly before he left. Lola leaned against the wall, staring at him as he left, blushing.

Just then, she turned and saw Miles standing beside her. "I guess he deserves you more than I do," he muttered sadly.

Lola's expression dropped. "Miles--"

Miles just shook his head. "No, it-- it's cool," he said quietly. He sighed, head down. "I'll call you later this week about the next doctor's appointment, okay?"

Lola felt like crying. Why did this all have to be so complicated? "Okay," she whispered as he disappeared into the costume closet.

Lola gathered her things and walked off stage, about to head home. Tears streamed down her face.

"Some play."

Lola turned around. She froze. _Tristan_.

"Tris-- Tristan," she said, caught off guard.

Tristan just shook his head. "So, you're with Miles now, huh?" he said coldly. He glanced at her stomach, raising his eyebrows.

Lola shook her head. "No, I'm not," she said, still crying.

Tristan laughed under his breath. "Aww, what's the matter?" he smiled. "Baby daddy drama?" He began to wheel away. "If it wasn't for you, I'd still be with Miles," he said. "I had him first-- don't forget that." He looked her in the eye, and then rolled away. "I'll be seeing you."


	14. The Way We Were

Like I mentioned before, there's a slight time jump in this chapter- it takes place a couple weeks after winter break and so Lola is now about 5 months along (I know the timeline isn't perfect, sorry!) Please please keep reviewing, I love hearing your suggestions! xx

 **The Way We Were**

Miles sat in the cafeteria by himself at lunch on a cold winter day, reading a short story collection from the library. He'd been spending a lot of time alone lately. He didn't mind- it helped him clear his head. Winter break had been anything but relaxing. He and Lola hadn't gotten a chance to see each other over the break, but they talked on the phone a few times. A few days before Christmas, she had called him crying:

"I told my dad," she said, clearly in tears.

"What happened?" Miles said worriedly. "Did he... did he kick you out?"

"No," Lola said. "No, he didn't."

Miles breathed a sigh of relief. "Then, what's the matter?"

"It's just... you should've seen the way he looked at me," Lola said, her voice shaking. "Like I was the world's biggest disappointment." She stopped to catch her breath. "He didn't say much. Just asked me who the father was and how far along I was. Then he just shook his head and left the house. He came back a few hours later, but he hasn't spoken to me since."

"Do you want me to come over?" Miles offered. "Maybe I should talk to him."

Lola laughed under her breath. "No," she said. " _No_ , you shouldn't be anywhere _near_ my house." She paused. "I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

"Lola, wait-" But it was too late. She had already hung up.

The next morning, on Christmas Eve, Miles finally got up the courage to tell his mom. He expected his dad to tell her any day now, and besides, news traveled fast around town.

It didn't exactly go smoothly at first. Mrs. H yelled Miles' full name, lectured him about being irresponsible, and how he should have known better. Then, she cried a little. Miles felt awful. He and his mom hadn't always had the easiest relationship, but he didn't like to see her cry.

"Okay," Mrs. H said when she had finally calmed down a little. "Lola, she's- she's planning on keeping the baby?"

Miles nodded. "She's due in early July."

His mom sighed. "Well," she said, wiping her eyes, "your dad and I will help you out financially."

"Dad doesn't want anything to do with it."

"I'll talk to him," Mrs. H said. She shook her head, muttering, "He certainly owes us."

Miles breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Mom," he said, grabbing his jacket and getting ready to head out. "You're the best."

Mrs. H put her hand up. "Now, wait just a minute," she said, blocking his path. "You're not off the hook here, mister. You're grounded for the rest of break. If you're going to be a father, you'd better spend some time learning some life skills. You're going to help me out with the cooking and cleaning." She crossed her arms. "And I want every doctor's appointment written on the calendar, Lola's phone number and address, and her doctor's information."

Miles started to protest, but just stayed quiet instead. "Fine," he muttered.

Mrs. H sighed. "This is serious, Miles," she said, walking back towards her office. "I hope you know that." She closed the door behind her and didn't come out for a long time.

Miles spent the rest of break reading, mostly. He tried to learn everything there was to know about pregnancy and parenting. He dug the twins' old crib out of the attic and started fixing it up for the baby. It was kind of tough to plan, since he still didn't know if it was a boy or girl. He knew they could find out at their next ultrasound appointment in a few weeks, but he wasn't sure if Lola wanted to find out or not. Frankie explained that Lola's dad had taken her phone away, so the only information he got were the occasional reports from Frankie's visits to her place.

"She's definitely showing now," Frankie told Miles over breakfast one morning after the holidays. "She eats weird stuff, like peanut butter and pickles. And she cries a lot, too."

Miles put his fork down, suddenly not hungry for scrambled eggs. "From hormones or sadness?"

Frankie shrugged. "Saad's been sending her postcards, though."

Miles stared at her. "What, like _love letters_?"

Frankie raised her eyebrows. "Jealous much?"

Miles laughed. "I'm not _jealous_ ," he insisted. "It's just weird, you know? I mean, she's pregnant with my baby."

Frankie poked at her breakfast. "All I know is you and Lola aren't together," she said, scooping up the last of her oatmeal. "And I don't know what's going to happen with her and Saad. But if you want her, I think you're going to have to fight for her."

Hunter walked into the kitchen. "God," he grumbled, pouring a bowl of cereal. "Can't anyone in this house go two seconds without mentioning baby stuff?"

Miles got up and put his dishes in the sink. "Yeah, I'm gonna go lie down." He went to his room and grabbed his copy of _So You're Going To Be a Father_. None of these books were super helpful. They were all aimed at married couples in their thirties. He threw the book at the wall and collapsed on his bed.

Back at school, Miles munched on his sandwich and hid his face in his book. He was so caught up in the story that he nearly jumped when Zoe sat down next to him.

"Hey," she said. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

Miles closed the book. "It's okay," he said. "What's up?"

"Well, I just wanted to warn you about something," Zoe said. "Tristan's coming back to school tomorrow."

Miles nearly choked on his sandwich. "What?" he said. "I thought he'd be in rehab the rest of the year."

Zoe shrugged. "His doctor says he's well enough to come back part-time." She sighed. "You know, a few months ago, this would've been good news for you."

Miles shook his head. "Yeah, but that was before-"

"The baby," Zoe mumbled. "Yeah, I know." She patted Miles' hand. "How are you doing with everything?"

Miles shrugged. "Okay, I guess," he said. "I've only seen Lola a couple times since school started. Guess she's busy."

Zoe bit her lip. "I think I know what's keeping her occupied," she muttered, staring across the cafeteria.

Miles looked across the room and saw Lola and Saad standing near each other, laughing and touching each other. Saad quickly glanced around him, then leaned in and kissed her before walking away. Miles felt like he was going to lose his lunch.

Zoe squeezed Miles' hand in sympathy. "You love her, don't you?" she said quietly.

Miles sighed. "Yeah," he admitted. "But if Saad makes her happier than I do, then there's nothing I can do." Zoe nodded and they just sat there quietly for a moment.

"Hey," a voice popped up from behind the table. "Got a minute?"

Miles turned around. "Lola," he said, his heart already beating faster just at the sight of her.

Zoe got up from the table. "Aaand, that's my cue to go," she said. She gave him a pat on the shoulder. "I'll catch up with you later, Miles."

Miles nodded at Zoe. "Hey," he said to Lola, trying to sound casual. "How's it going?"

Lola sat down next to him, clutching her belly so she wouldn't lose her balance. There was no way she could hide the pregnancy now- her stomach stuck out no matter what she wore. Miles had been stunned when he first saw her after the break. Before, the baby had still seemed like something hypothetical. Now, it felt even more real- and it made him even more nervous.

"Alright, I guess," Lola said, rubbing her stomach. "I mean, my back hurts a little and my feet are getting swollen again. But at least I don't have morning sickness anymore." She eyed the remaining half of Miles' sandwich. "Are you gonna eat that?"

Miles shook his head. "Be my guest," he said, handing it to her.

Lola stared at it. "Shoot, I can't eat it," she said, giving it back to him. "It's got tuna fish in it."

"Oh- right," Miles said, a bit frantic. "Shit, I totally forgot."

Lola laughed. "Relax, it's no big deal," she said. She pulled out a bag of chips from her bag. "Anyway," she said, munching on a handful. He'd never seen her eat like this before. "I just wanted to remind you that my next ultrasound is tomorrow after school."

 _Crap, already?_ But Miles just nodded. "I promise I'll stay for the whole thing this time," he said, smiling.

Lola rolled her eyes and laughed a little. "So, can I ride with you after school then?"

Miles felt his heart race again. "S-sure," he sputtered, admittedly giddy at the thought of them alone together. He raised his eyebrow. "Are you sure Saad won't mind, though?"

Lola shook her head. "Miles, you're the father," she said. "I would bring you no matter what he thought."

Miles nodded. Even if he wasn't her boyfriend, it felt good to be reminded that he at least had a secure role in all of this. "Then I'll see you at four tomorrow," he said, a slight lump in his throat.

Lola smiled. "Sounds good." She tried to stand up, but groaned, struggling with balancing her stomach. Miles grabbed her hand and helped her up. Some kids stared at them, a few whispering to each other.

Lola noticed this and looked upset all of a sudden. "I'm only halfway through and I already look like a hippo," she cried.

"Hey," Miles scolded, pulling her into a hug. "Don't talk like that. You're the most beautiful girl in this school."

She hugged him back for a second, blushing without meaning to. She couldn't get her arms all the way around him anymore- her belly got in the way of that. Feeling his skin against hers, their baby in between, reminded her what it had been like to be with him. What could have been.

The bell rang. "Gotta go," she said suddenly, running off to go find Saad before her mind could wander anymore.


	15. Pink or Blue

Thanks for all your reviews! I hope you guys are still finding the story interesting. I know the direction I want Miles and Lola's dynamic to go in, you'll see... In the meantime, here's a rather long chapter! xx

 **Pink or Blue**

The next morning before school, Frankie, Shay, and Lola sat in the student lounge. As usual, Frankie and Shay wanted to talk boys.

"I just can't believe that Jonah's dating Grace now," Frankie whined, sipping her mocha. "I mean, who's to say he wasn't cheating on me with her the entire time we were together?"

Lola poked at her breakfast burrito, only half- listening. She was nervous for today's ultrasound- she still wasn't sure whether or not she wanted to find out if it was a boy or girl. And quite honestly, she was sick of hearing about Frankie and Jonah.

Shay shrugged. "You're better off." She looked down at the floor for a second. "Guys, I think Tiny wants to have sex."

That got Lola's attention. "Wait, what?"

Shay took a sip of her coffee. "Well, the other day at lunch, he brought up the idea of us camping together. I thought it was just, you know camping. So I said yes." She sighed. "But then later, I overheard Zig saying it was about time Tiny and me got some action and Tiny just laughed."

Frankie raised her eyebrows. "Well, do you want to?"

Shay shrugged. "I don't know. I mean I love him," she said. "But how do you know if you're actually _ready_?"

Shay and Frankie both turned to Lola, waiting for her to say something.

Lola rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'm _so_ not the right person to talk to about this."

"Well, you're the only one of us who's had sex," Frankie said, glancing at Lola's stomach.

Lola shook her head. "Look. All I can say is don't do it just because it feels right in the moment. Do it because you trust them and you feel safe with them. Because it's what you want." She pushed her breakfast burrito aside, not hungry. "And for godssakes, use condoms."

They all laughed for a minute.

"By the way," Frankie said coyly. "How are things between you and Saad?"

Lola shrugged. "Good, I guess."

"Is it weird, though?" Shay said. "You know, to be dating another guy while you're... pregnant?"

"Saad's a good guy," Lola said defensively. "He understands the situation." She sat up a little, trying to relieve some of her backache. "And for your information, we have our first official date tomorrow."

"Oooh," Frankie said, smirking. "Doing what?"

"Just watching a movie at his house," Lola said.

Frankie and Shay exchanged looks.

"Okay, _what_?" Lola said, getting annoyed.

Shay bit her lip. "Isn't that code for-"

"You know..." Frankie chimed in.

Lola _tsk_ ed. "It's not like that!" she protested.

Frankie shrugged. "Well," she said, sipping her coffee. "Netflix and chill or not, things are going to keep getting complicated."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lola said.

"You know," Frankie said. "You and Miles are going to be spending a lot of time together. And even more so once the baby gets here."

Lola sighed. "Can't you guys just be happy for me?" For the past few months, everything had been about the baby. She just wanted one night where she could get dressed up and go on a date like a normal teenager.

"We're just looking out for you," Shay said gently.

Lola just shook her head. She put one hand on her belly and the other on the table, starting to stand up. "I gotta go," she muttered, not wanting to stick around for any more of her friends' comments. "Vlogging meeting."

" _Lo_ ," they called after her, but she just kept walking.

When she got to the media room a few minutes early, Yael was already standing outside the door. She looked upset about something. "Hey," Lola said. "What's up?"

Yael sighed. "It's the guys," she said. "I'm sick of them treating me like... like such a _girl_."

Lola looked at her in confusion. "But uh, you _are_ a girl."

Yael leaned against the door, taking a deep breath. "I don't really feel like a girl, though," she said. "But I don't feel like a boy either." She shook her head. "God, what's _wrong_ with me?" she cried.

Lola put her hand on her shoulder. "Hey, hey nothing is wrong with you," she said gently. She paused for a second. "You know, this actually sounds familiar. One of my favorite vloggers did a thing on something similar... they don't identify as a boy or a girl... they identify as..." She snapped her fingers, trying to remember. "That's it- _genderqueer_."

Yael shook her head. "Huh?"

"They feel... in between," Lola explained. "Like they're not a boy or a girl, exactly."

Yael smiled, looking relieved that someone understood what she was feeling. "So, there's actually a name for it?"

Lola nodded. "You know what this calls for?" she said, smiling. "A makeover."

Yael laughed. "Lola, not everything calls for a makeover."

Lola shook her head. "You have never been more wrong," she said.

The two of them skipped the meeting, spending the rest of the morning in the theatre, trying on outfits and hairstyles. Yael decided on the pronouns _they/them_. They were a little nervous about their new look, but they also already felt more like themselves.

"Thank you, Lola," Yael said when they were all done. "You're really awesome."

Lola smiled. "So are you, Yael." It felt so good to focus on something other than the baby, even if it was just for a few hours.

That afternoon, it was back to baby stuff. Lola met Miles in the parking lot afer school, feeling butterflies in her stomach. She wasn't sure which she was more nervous about- the ultrasound or spending time alone with Miles.

"So," Miles said, starting the car. "You feeling okay?"

Lola shrugged, smiling slightly. "A little nervous, but I'm fine."

Miles turned on the radio. "Me too," he admitted. "I mean, last time the baby was just the size of a raspberry."

Lola shot him a look. "You only looked at it for like, two seconds," she laughed.

Miles shook his head, smiling nervously. "I swear, I'll stay the entire appointment this time."

They were quiet for a minute. Lola slumped back into her seat, trying to relax. Without thinking, she rested her head on Miles' shoulder.

She sat up a few seconds later. It probably wasn't a good idea for them to get too close physically, being that she was with Saad now and all. "Oh yeah, so, um," she said, clearing her throat. "I've been thinking about it and... I decided I don't wanna know the sex of the baby."

Miles glanced at her. "You want it to be a surprise?"

Lola shrugged. "That, and... I realized it doesn't really matter to me. Boy, girl... I'm gonna love them no matter what."

Miles smiled, stopped at a red light. "Me too," he said. He put his arm around Lola for a second and she let him.

The doctor finally called them back nearly an hour later. It was a different Doctor this time- a woman ob/gyn Miles' mom had recommended. Some of her friends from her yoga class had used her for their kids' deliveries or something.

They did the usual routine of blood pressure, reflex tests, and measurements. "Everything looks fine," the doctor said. "Ready for the ultrasound?"

Lola squeezed Miles' hand and nodded. "Ready," she said.

She lied down on the exam table. The doctor rolled up her shirt and squirted some goo on her. She didn't flinch at the coldness this time. Miles stared at Lola's stomach. It was still crazy to think that in just four months, they were going to have a baby.

The doctor moved the scanner across Lola's tummy. The screen lit up and an image of their baby appeared.

Miles and Lola were both stunned. At the last appointment, the baby had barely looked like anything more than a blob. But this time it looked like... well, more like a baby.

"There's the head," the doctor said, moving the scanner. "There's the hands. And the feet."

Lola started to cry. "Miles," she whispered. "That's _our baby_."

Miles squeezed her hand and kissed it. He didn't cry or anything, but he felt his heart speed up and his face break into a smile.

"Everything looks perfectly healthy," the doctor said. Lola and Miles both let out a sigh of relief. "Now, would you like to know the sex?"

"No," Lola said immediately. "We want to be surprised."

Miles shrugged at the doctor. "She's the boss," he laughed.

The doctor nodded, laughing. "Well, that's it for now, then," she said, putting the scanner down. "Any questions?"

"Wait," Lola said. She sighed. "Can we see the baby again? Just one more time?"

The doctor smiled. "Sure," she said, picking up the scanner. She went through the motions again, giving them time to look at their baby closely. It was moving its fingers and toes around quite a bit, though Lola hadn't felt any noticeable kicks yet.

"Can we get a couple pictures?" Miles said. He glanced at Lola. "My mom will kill me otherwise," he laughed.

"Of course," the doctor said. She went into the other room to print them.

Lola slowly sat up. "Wow," she said, rubbing her stomach. "That was really something." She beamed at Miles.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "It was." He stared at her for a second, his mind wandering. It felt like ages ago that they were together. Since she looked at him with lovestruck eyes. He wondered if she'd ever feel that way towards him again.

Just then, her phone rang. He saw the contact name light up across the screen. _Saad_ , it said with a little heart emoji.

Lola quickly put her phone away. "I'll let that go to voicemail," she murmured.

"Alright," the doctor said. She handed them each a copy of the ultrasound scan picture. She looked at Lola. "I'll see you back here next month for your next checkup. Call me if you have any problems or questions."

Lola nodded. "Thank you," she said. Miles helped her off the table.

She leaned into him, and they looked at the ultrasound picture together. "That's _our baby."_


	16. Better Off

Sorry for not revealing the gender last chapter but I thought it'd be for fun this way haha. Please keep reviewing, I love reading all your comments! xx

 **Better Off**

The next evening, Lola slipped into one of her maternity dresses and put on some new lipstick. Even though she and Saad had already been dating almost a month, this was their first time hanging out outside of school-- their first real date.

She knew everyone at school was talking about them. Everyone thought it was weird for her and Saad to be dating while she was pregnant with Miles' baby. It wasn't exactly an ideal situation, Lola could admit. But Saad was a welcome distraction from everything going on. He was kind and respectful and he didn't treat her differently or judge her. He made her happy, and that was something she didn't feel too often nowadays.

She quietly walked down the stairs, checking to see if her dad was home. She breathed a sigh of relief-- he wasn't. They were speaking again, but things had been tense between them, to say the least. They had yet to work out all the details about money and school and where the baby would sleep, etc. Come to think of it, she and Miles hadn't discussed most of that yet, either. But that was a problem for another day. Tonight, Lola decided, she would just let herself act like a sixteen-year old for once.

"Hey," Saad greeted her when she got to his door. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek. She was relieved to see that his parents weren't home-- Saad had yet to tell his parents anything about Lola's situation. His little siblings were asleep on the couch. He put a blanket over each of them. Lola smiled as she watched him tuck them in. He was so good with them.

"So," Saad whispered. "Wanna go to my room?"

Lola gulped. "Uh, sure," she said hesitantly. Crap. Frankie and Shay were right-- this was _that_ kind of date.

Saad led her into his room. It was covered with photographs-- some by him, others by famous artists. There were also maps and newspaper clippings of Syria. A few picture frames of him and his friends from back home-- Lola wasn't sure if the people in the photos were still alive or not. He'd told her a bit about the horrors he'd seen during the war, but she didn't want to pry too much.

Saad laid down on his bed. He looked at Lola, waiting for her to join him.

Lola felt panicky all of a sudden. She couldn't do this. "I'm not ready to have sex," she blurted out.

Saad sat up, a confused look on his face. "What?" he said.

"I'm not-- I'm not ready to do that again," Lola said quietly.

Saad laughed.

Lola crossed her arms. "Is something funny?"

Saad shook his head, grinning. "I didn't invite you into my room to have _sex_ ," he said. "I brought you in here because it's where we keep the TV."

Lola wanted to die. "Oh my god," she moaned, covering her face with her hands. "I'm such an idiot."

Saad just laughed. "I can move the TV into the other room if you want."

"No, no," Lola said hurriedly, blushing. She joined him on the bed, clutching her stomach. "Let's just watch the movie." She finally let herself laugh too.

Saad smiled and flipped through the Netflix selection. "What do you feel like watching?"

Lola looked at the TV, but didn't see anything she liked yet. She didn't tell Saad this, but she usually stuck to the Disney section. "Keep going," she said, resting her hand on her stomach. " _Oh my god,_ Bambi!"

Saad raised his eyebrows. "Bambi?" he laughed. "Really?"

"It was my favorite movie when I was a kid," Lola explained. "My mom and I used to watch it together."

Saad nodded. He knew the story behind her mom. "Well, alright," he said, clicking play.

Everything was going well until they got to the scene where Bambi's mother died. Lola started sobbing.

"Are you okay?" Saad asked worriedly, scooting closer to her.

Lola leaned in closer to him. "Yeah, it's just really sad," she said, blubbering. She wiped her eyes, still crying. "Plus, these hormones don't exactly help."

Saad looked like he didn't know what to say. "I... I'm sorry," he said awkwardly. "Do you want to watch something else?"

Lola shook her head. "No, no," she said, resting her head on his shoulder. "This is fine."

Saad smiled a little. "Okay," he said gently. "We can do whatever you'd like."

Lola stared into his eyes. Without a second

thought, she leaned in and kissed him hard. It wasn't their first kiss, but it was more passionate than any of their previous ones. He kissed her back hard and she ended up on top of him. They made out for a couple of minutes, getting caught up in the heat of the moment.

Suddenly, Lola felt something jab her. "Whoa," she gasped, sliding off of Saad.

Saad looked at her, his face a mix of confusion and worry. "Sorry, did I do something wrong?"

Lola sat up, holding her stomach. "No," she said. She felt the jabbing sensation again. "No, I think-- I think the baby just kicked!"

Saad's facial expression changed quickly. "Oh-- uh, oh," he sputtered. He looked uncomfortable. They didn't talk about the baby much.

Lola just ignored him for a second, moving her hand over her stomach. "That's amazing," she muttered, beaming. She glanced over at Saad. "I'd better call Miles real quick and tell him."

Saad bit his lip. "Do you have to call him _now_?"

Lola wasn't smiling anymore. "Well, I mean," she said, shrugging. "He _is_ the dad."

Saad sighed. "I know that," he said. "But I thought, you know, this was going to be a date for us. Some time for us as a couple."

Lola looked at him. "A couple."

Saad just stared back. "Well... yeah." He looked at her in confusion. "Isn't that what we are?"

Lola stumbled on her words. "Well, I mean, yeah... I guess we are," she said.

Saad shrugged. "So, can't you wait until after our date to call Miles?"

Lola held her stomach, feeling the kick again. "I guess," she murmured. She looked down for a second. "Saad, can we just address the elephant in the room already?"

"What?" Saad said.

Lola sighed. "I mean, the fact that I'm having a baby with another guy."

"Yeah," Saad muttered. "I know that, Lola."

"But-- you can't just ignore it," Lola said. "You have to be okay with me needing to spend a lot of time with Miles. And spending most of my time focusing on the baby." She took a deep breath. "And once the baby's born, then I'm going to be so busy, and--"

"And... you won't have time for me," Saad said quietly.

Lola sighed. "I didn't say that," she said. "But the baby has to come first. Always."

Saad took a deep breath. "Maybe... maybe we'd be better off as friends," he murmured. He looked sadly at Lola, who was on the verge of tears. "No, don't cry," he pleaded, holding her hand. "I still like you, Lola. But maybe you're right. Maybe you should focus on the baby for right now."

Lola held back the tears. "Yeah," she said. "I guess I should." She stepped off the bed and glanced at the movie, which was still playing. "Raincheck on _Bambi_?"

Saad nodded. "You bet," he whispered.


	17. Falling Around You

Thanks again for your reviews! Here's a bit of a short chapter xx

 **Falling Around You**

The next morning before school, Miles and Hunter sat in the student lounge doing homework together. Hunter had been having trouble with his English papers lately, so Miles was helping him out.

"That's not bad," Miles said, reading over his brother's rough draft. "But you've got to dig deeper. What was Hemingway _really_ trying to say here?"

Hunter rolled his eyes. "Something about a stupid whale," he muttered. He was in a bad mood over his breakup with Yael.

"Hunter, come on," Miles said. "I know you're bummed out over Yael, but you've got to focus in school. Do you want to spend the rest of your life doing nothing but sitting in a basement playing Realm of Doom?"

Hunter shrugged. "Sounds ideal to me," he said. "Besides, it sounds better than being stuck with a kid," he muttered under his breath.

Miles glared at him. "Shut up, Hunter."

Hunter just shook his head. "Our family is already so screwed up. Why'd you have to make things even more complicated?"

Miles sighed. "What are you talking about?"

"You knocking Lola up just makes things even worse," Hunter said. "Mom's upset all the time. Her and dad are always arguing on the phone about money. Our house is crazy enough without you bringing a baby into it."

Miles stared at him. "You always had a thing for Lola," he said. "Didn't you?"

Hunter stumbled on his words. "That's-- that's not the point."

Miles laughed. "Oh my god, you _totally_ were into Lola." He shook his head. "Is that the actual reason why you and Yael broke up?"

Hunter rolled his eyes and packed his stuff up. "Bye, Miles," he grumbled, walking off.

"Don't be mad just because I have more game than you do!" Miles shouted, half-joking. Humor aside though, he had to admit that Hunter was right-- the baby was only going to complicate things in the Hollingsworth house. A sudden sense of panic came over him as he realized he and Lola still had no idea what they were going to do about school or where the baby would sleep or how they were going to handle money. God, they hadn't even put together a nursery or bought baby clothes or _anything_.

Feeling panicky, Miles got up and went to look for Lola. He walked into the cafeteria sitting next to Frankie. "We need to talk," he said urgently.

Frankie grabbed her things. " _Yeahh_ , I'm not sticking around for baby drama," she said, getting up and leaving.

Lola shot her a look, then raised her eyebrows at Miles. "What's up?"

"Where's the baby going to sleep?" Miles blurted out, his voice panicky. "What are we going to do about school? We need to buy baby clothes... God, what do babies even _wear_?"

"Whoa there," Lola said, putting her hand up. "Calm down, Miles."

Miles was still in a panic. "How am I supposed to calm down when we're only in high school _and we're_ _having a freaking baby_?"

Lola shot him a look. "Well, _actually_ ," she said, rubbing her stomach, "your mom wants me to come over for dinner this Friday night so we can discuss all of that." She paused. "I've already got money set aside for all of the supplies we'll need to get. And I have an appointment with a school counselor next week to talk about my options for schoolwork."

Miles sighed. "Great," he muttered. "So you're on top of things, and I'm the one who's totally out of the loop."

Lola shook her head. "That's not true," she said. "We just need to communicate more."

"Yeah, I'm sure your boyfriend will _love_ that," Miles said.

"Actually, Saad and I aren't together at the moment," Lola said, not making eye contact.

Miles sat up straight. "What?" he said. "You guys broke up?"

Lola shrugged. "I don't know if we were even much of a couple to begin with."

Miles tried not to show it, but on the inside he was so happy. He wanted Lola to be happy but it was killing him to see her and Saad together. "Well, I'm sorry, Lola," he said, trying to be sympathetic.

Lola didn't say anything.

"Lola?"

"Here," Lola said, suddenly grabbing Miles' hand and placing it on her stomach. "Feel this."

Miles' eyes widened in shock. "Whoa," he murmured. "Is that--?"

Lola laughed softly. "Yeah," she said, smiling. "The baby started kicking last night."

Miles' face lit up. "That's... that's amazing." He shook his head, beaming. "That makes it feel so much more... _real_."

Lola rolled her eyes. "You're not the one who had morning sickness for months," she laughed.

The bell rang. "Walk me to class?" Lola said.

Miles smiled. "Sure," he said, helping her up. She leaned into him as they walked and he put his arm around her. Miles smiled. _Their baby could kick!_


	18. A Family Matter

Thank you again so much for your reviews!! Be warned, this chapter ends on a bit of a cliff-hanger... xx

 **A Family Matter**

That Friday night, Lola put on a nice sweater and jeans and headed over to the Hollingsworth house. Miles and Frankie had both offered to give her a ride, but she decided she'd rather just walk. They didn't live that far, and besides, she needed to clear her head.

She hadn't been to the Hollingsworths' place in months. She was nervous to see his mom. Mrs. Hollingsworth had always liked her and thought she was a good friend to Frankie-- but this situation was a whole other story. Texting Lola and asking her to come to dinner was the first time Mrs. H had reached out to Lola since Miles gave her the news. Lola didn't know what his mom thought of the whole situation or how she viewed Lola now. It wasn't exactly every mother's dream for her son to become a father at 17.

It was Frankie who greeted her at the door. "Hey," she said, letting her in. "Hope you're hungry-- I think we've got enough food to feed all of Degrassi."

Lola laughed. "When am I _not_ hungry?"

They walked outside to the dining table by the poolside area, where Miles, Hunter, and Mrs. Hollingsworth were already sitting. Everyone was all dressed up. Miles and Hunter were both in collared shirts, Mrs. Hollingsworth and Frankie in dresses. Lola felt underdressed-- she thought this was going to be way more casual.

Miles stood up to greet her. "Hey," he said, giving her a peck on the cheek. They glanced at each other awkwardly-- maybe that wasn't the right greeting for them yet. He pulled her chair out for her and pushed it in.

Mrs. Hollingsworth finally spoke up. "Welcome, Lola," she said, passing her a basket of bread.

"Thanks for having me," Lola said, taking a slice of bread. Mrs. Hollingsworth smiled, but didn't say anything else. It made Lola nervous. Why was everyone so quiet?

"Uh, here, Lo," Frankie said awkwardly, trying to break the silence. "Try some of the roast."

Lola took some from Frankie. "Thanks," she mumbled. She looked at Mrs. H, who still wasn't speaking or looking at her. "This is uh, really good, Mrs. Hollingsworth."

Mrs. H took a deep breath and gave a forced smile. "Well, I didn't make it," she said quietly, looking down at her plate away from everyone. "You can thank our chef for that."

She cleared her throat and finally made eye contact with Lola. "So," she said. "How's school going? I assume you'll miss most of your senior year."

Lola put her fork down. "Why would I miss senior year?"

Mrs. Hollingsworth laughed. "What, do you expect the baby to just watch itself?"

Lola looked at Miles for support. "Well, no," she said. "But Miles and I were discussing that. The baby is due in July, which gives me a few months to stay at home with it, and then we were thinking Miles could watch it during the day once I go back to school... Or at least part-time..."

Miles shrugged. "Yeah, Toronto University has a decent writing program," he said. "I could go part-time, maybe take some evening classes."

Mrs. Hollingsworth rolled her eyes. "Believe me," she said, cutting up the roast on her plate, "once the baby is born, you can kiss your life goodbye."

Lola stared at her. "My life's not going to be _over_ ," she said defensively.

"Well, Miles' certainly will be," Mrs. H muttered, not looking at either of them.

"Ouch," Hunter muttered. "Can't say I didn't warn you."

Miles glared at him. "Look," he said to his mom, "we're going to be fine." He grabbed Lola's hand and held it. "We can handle this baby," he said firmly.

Mrs. H dropped her silverware on her plate. She looked at Lola. "What on earth were you thinking?"

Lola sat up. "Excuse me?"

"You should have been more careful," Mrs. H said angrily. "Honestly, you shouldn't have even been having sex in the first place."

" _Mom_ ," Frankie protested.

Mrs. H just shook her head at Lola. "For godssakes, you're _sixteen_." She pushed her plate aside. "Lola, I really expected better from you."

Lola opened her mouth in shock. "You know, I didn't knock _myself_ up," she said, glancing at Miles.

"You're right," Mrs. H said. "Now Miles' life is ruined too."

Miles slammed his fist on the table. " _Enough_ ," he said angrily. "Look, my life isn't "ruined," okay? I'm sorry you're upset, but I won't let you take it out on Lola!"

Lola clutched her stomach. The baby was really kicking hard-- maybe from all the commotion. She didn't feel so good. She felt faint all of a sudden, kind of woozy and tired.

"Excuse me," she said, getting up from the table. She needed to lie down.

"Lo, you okay?" Frankie called after her. She glared at her mom. "Nice going."

Suddenly, Lola was overcome with dizziness. She fell to the ground and everything went dark.

"Lola!" Miles cried. " _Lola_!"


	19. Hanging by a Moment

So I wrote this entire chapter and then forgot to hit save, so I had to start over!! :( But I'm glad you guys are still enjoying it. I think a lot of you will be pleased by this chapter's ending... Plenty more chapters to come... xx

 **Hanging by a Moment**

Miles' heart nearly stopped. Lola was lying on the patio completely passed out. He checked her pulse frantically. "Somebody call an ambulance!" he cried.

Frankie quickly pulled out her phone and dialed for emergency services. Hunter stood there frozen. Mrs. Hollingsworth rushed over to Lola.

Mrs. H helped Miles pull Lola up. "It's going to be okay, honey," she tried to reassure Miles. "Everything is going to be okay."

Miles wouldn't look at his mom. "This is your fault," he muttered.

Mrs. H looked like she wanted to cry. They carried Lola inside and put her on the couch sitting up. She was still out cold.

"Ambulance is here," Hunter announced. Paramedics came in and checked Lola's pulse. "She's breathing, but she's still passed out," one of them said. They lifted her onto a stretcher.

Miles turned to his mom. "The baby," he cried, nearly tearing up. "She could lose the baby!"

Mrs. H squeezed his hand. "Go with Lola in the ambulance," she said, trying to stay calm. "We'll follow you to the hospital." She pulled her keys out of her purse and signaled for Hunter and Frankie to get in the car.

Miles sat down next to Lola in the ambulance. He stroked her hair. "Hey," he whispered. "Hey, angel. Wake up." He felt his heart pound. He felt like he was by Tristan's bedside all over again. "Wake up, _wake up_ ," he pleaded, squeezing her hand. " _Please_."

Suddenly, Lola opened her eyes. "Wha-what?" she said woozily. "What happened?"

Miles gasped. "You're okay!" he cried, beyond relieved. "You fainted, sweetie."

Lola tried to sit up a little, but laid back down. "Is... is the baby okay?" she cried, still slurring her words a little. She still felt dizzy and disoriented.

Miles bit his lip, holding back years. "Just try to rest," he whispered, squeezing her hand. "We'll be at the hospital soon."

Lola started to fall asleep, but murmured something under her breath. "I love you, Miles," she whispered.

Miles sat up. "Wha-- what did you say?" But she was already fast asleep.

They got to the hospital a few minutes later. They wheeled Lola into the hospital on the stretcher. She was starting to wake up again. It was a few minutes before they could see a doctor. Miles couldn't sit still. Between being worried about the baby and thinking about what Lola said to him in the ambulance, his heart was racing at a million miles per hour. They finally got called back. The doctor sat Lola, who was now awake, on the exam table and checked her pulse, blood pressure, and heartbeat. "Your blood pressure is a little low," the doctor said. "But you'll be fine."

"What... what about the baby?" Miles said frantically.

The doctor pressed his stethoscope to Lola's stomach. "The heartbeat is still normal," he said. Miles and Lola simultaneously let out a sigh of relief. "You're positive?" Lola asked, still feeling a bit faint.

The doctor nodded. "Let's do an ultrasound just to be safe," he said, having Lola lie down. He moved the scanner over her stomach. The screen lit up just as Mrs. Hollingsworth, Frankie, and Hunter walked in.

"Will you look at that," Frankie murmured, smiling at the screen. She turned to Hunter. "There's or nephew... or niece."

"The baby looks perfectly healthy," the doctor said.

Lola turned to Miles and sobbed into his chest. "Oh, thank god," she cried.

Mrs. Hollingsworth stared at the image of her future grandchild. "Lola will be okay?" she asked the doctor worriedly. Miles shook his head. Just minutes ago she was yelling at them about being irresponsible, and now she suddenly cared.

The doctor nodded, moving the scanner over Lola's stomach. The baby was moving around as usual, and all of its fingers and toes were still there. For the first time, Miles just let himself cry. He'd been so scared that he could lose the most important thing in his life.

"Fainting is actually quite common during pregnancy," the doctor said. He turned to Lola. "Did anything stressful happen that might have caused you to faint?"

"It's my fault," Mrs. H said immediately. "I was angry and upset and I took it out on her." She squeezed Lola's other hand. "Lola, I'm so sorry," she said, sounding like she was about to cry.

Lola nodded. "It's okay," she said quietly. "I understand why you were upset."

Mrs. H looked at her. "But I shouldn't have blamed you." She glanced at Frankie and Hunter. "Somebody should probably call her father."

Hunter nodded. "I'm on it," he said, grabbing Lola's phone. He was really just looking for an excuse to get out of the room. It was weird having Lola lay on the table in front of him with her shirt practically off.

Lola stared at the image of their baby and sighed, partly out of relief and partly out of exhaustion. She looked up at everyone. "Do you think Miles and I could uh, have a minute alone?"

The doctor took the scanner away. "Sure," he said quietly. He and the Hollingsworths went into the hallway, the door closing behind them.

Lola pulled her shirt up and sat up, clutching her stomach. She squeezed Miles' hand. "It's okay, Miles," she said calmly, noticing his tears. "I'm okay." She smoothed her other hand over her stomach. "We're _both_ okay."

Miles squeezed her hand back. "I just got so scared," he said. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. Either of you."

Lola smiled. "You saved me," she said.

Miles looked into her eyes. "Lola, in the ambulance, you said..." He stumbled on his words. "I don't know if you even remember," he muttered. "But I love you, Lola. Even if you don't love me back in the same way. I still love you."

Lola just smiled at him. "Miles," she whispered. "I _do_ love you." She stared into his eyes. "In _that way_ ," she added, giggling a little.

Miles stumbled on his words. "You... you do?" he sputtered.

Lola laughed. "Yeah," she said, nodding. "I love you, Miles."

She leaned in slowly and kissed him. It was a perfect kiss-- the kind you only read about in fairytale or saw in movies. It was the kind of kiss that came when Sleeping Beauty woke up, when Superman saved Louis Lane, when Ryan Gosling chased after Rachel McAdams in the rain.

They smiled at each other. "I love you too," Miles whispered. He pulled her into a hug. Just then, the baby kicked again.

They beamed at each other, both having felt it. For the first time in a long time, things felt okay. They had _hope_.


	20. You Break Me Down, You Build Me Up

Glad you guys seemed to enjoy the last chapter! :)) I think you'll like this one too ;) kind of alternating POV's here... xx

 **You Break Me Down, You Build Me Up**

That Monday, Miles waited outside the school. He hadn't seen Lola since Friday, but they'd talked nonstop on the phone since their kiss. He still couldn't believe it.

Then he saw her. She was wearing a cute blue shirt and black leggings and had her hair down. Her long lashes made her eyes pop out alongside her radiant skin. She was the most beautiful girl Miles had ever seen.

Miles took a deep breath, feeling his heart race. He walked up to her slowly. "Hey," he said, smiling and looking down sheepishly. He wasn't quite sure how they should act school.

Lola smiled back. "Hi," she said quietly. Then, without any further pause, she pulled him into a kiss. It was slow and tender, the kind that made them feel like they were the only two in the entire world. They didn't care who was watching.

The baby kicked again. They looked at each other and laughed a little. Miles held her tight.

"So," he said, grinning. "Walk to class together?"

Lola let go of him, blushing. "Sure," she laughed. She grabbed his hand and they walked into school together.

Lola frowned. "Everyone's staring," she whispered as they walked down the hallway holding hands.

Miles shrugged. "Let them," he said, stopping outside his history classroom. "He leaned against the wall. "I don't care what they think," he said, brushing her cheek.

Lola smiled and kissed him. The baby kicked again. "I think it does that every time we kiss," she laughed, holding her stomach.

Miles smiled back. "Maybe we should test that hypothesis," he murmured, leaning in.

"Ahem."

Miles and Lola turned around. They froze. "Tris," Miles muttered, looking like a deer in the headlines.

Tristan shook his head, laughing. "I transferred into first period history," he said. "Didn't know I also signed up to see you two sucking face every day."

Miles sighed. "Look," he groaned, holding onto Lola's hand still. "You moved on. I moved on. Just leave us alone."

Tristan shifted his eyes to Lola. "Yeah," he muttered, staring at Lola's stomach. "Your little bundle of joy was _obviously_ conceived when we weren't together."

Miles got in Tristan's face. "If you have a problem, say it to me," he said. "You can make my life hell for all I care. But don't you _dare_ say a word to my girl."

Tristan just shook his head. "Real cute couple," he muttered, going into the classroom and shutting the door behind him.

Miles turned to Lola. "Don't listen to him," he said, still breathing hard. He was worked up.

Lola put her hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. "Miles, don't worry about it," she reassured him. She laughed a little. "That was pretty hot, actually," she smirked. "Protecting me and calling me your girl."

Miles laughed, blushing. "Hey," he whispered. "Do you... do you wanna get out of here?"

Lola raised her eyebrow. "And ditch class?"

Miles shrugged. "My mom's not home," he said, smirking.

Lola pretended to think about it, then just grabbed his hand and started down the hall. "I'm in," she said. She didn't really want to go to chemistry and have to see Saad anyway.

They drove to the Hollingsworth house and raced to the front door. "Are you sure no one's home?" Lola asked nervously as Miles unlocked the door.

"Positive," Miles grinned, opening the door and leading her inside to the empty mansion. "Mom's out of town until tomorrow."

They laid on the couch and immediately started kissing. Slowly at first, then fast. Lola hadn't been comfortable doing anything more than kissing with Saad. But with Miles it just felt so natural and safe. She didn't hesitate, she just knew it felt right. She slipped off her shirt and moved her hands down Miles' jeans.

Miles looked into her eyes. "Are you sure?" he whispered.

Lola nodded. "I'm ready," she said. She laughed a little, adding, "Besides, I'm already pregnant. What else could go wrong?"

Miles shook his head laughing and then grabbed Lola and pinned her down on the couch. She felt his hot breath down her neck as they undressed all the way.

Minutes later, they were getting dressed when the door slammed. They immediately both jumped up from the couch, their hearts racing.

"Oh. My. God."

"Frankie!" Miles cried, trying to put his shirt back on. "What are you doing home?"

Lola stood there in just her bra and leggings, mortified. "Oh god," she groaned, burying her face in her shirt.

"I forgot my lunch," Frankie explained. She looked away. "Annnd, now I think I've lost my lunch."

Lola threw her top back on. "Uhh, I'll just be going, then," she muttered, her face red from embarrassment.

"No, you stay and rest," Miles said, motioning for her to lie back down on the couch. "I'll go." He glanced at Frankie awkwardly and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Lola let out a muffed scream into the pillow. " _Aaaaagh_!" she cried, still avoiding looking at Frankie.

Frankie shook her head, joining her on the couch. "Well, that was on my list of things I never needed to see," she said. She sighed. "So," she said, raising her eyebrows. "You and Miles...?"

Lola shrugged. "We're kind of um, well, we're kind of together again." She took a deep breath. "Do you hate me?"

Frankie laughed. "No," she said. "I mean, it's a little weird having my best friend date my gross older brother. But if you guys want to be together, I'm happy for you." She shook her head, laughing again. "I mean, you _are_ already having a baby together."

Lola laughed back, relieved. "Yeah, true," she said, rubbing her stomach. The baby had been kicking so much lately.

Frankie sighed. "Just one question," she said.

Lola looked at her. "Yeah?"

Frankie leaned against the couch. "Why did you and Miles even hook up in the first place? You know, around... five months ago."

Lola bit her lip. "Well," she said. "We had like this, I don't know... really intense connection. I helped him deal with Tristan and helped me get over Tiny." She sighed. "We made each other feel... safe. But then Tristan woke up and he ended things between us. Until--"

Frankie nodded. "The baby."

"Yeah," Lola said quietly. She shook her head. "Obviously this isn't the most ideal situation," she sighed, rubbing her stomach. "But I love him, Franks. I really do."

Frankie squeezed Lola's hand. "Just please lock the door next time you guys do anything," she said, making a face and they both laughed.


	21. Best Mistake

Please keep reviewing, your comments and suggestions really make my day! I promise the baby will be born eventually, I just am really enjoying writing Mola's pregnancy storyline right now and don't want to rush it. Here's a slight time jump though xx

 **Best Mistake**

A few weeks had passed since Miles and Lola officially got together. Lola was just over six months along now. She hated looking at herself in the mirror these days-- she'd gained 15 pounds and her belly stuck out in every outfit she wore. She still got stares around school. Some days it didn't bother her much. Other days it did.

"I can't even fit into my desk anymore," Lola complained to Miles one day after school as they walked hand in hand to his car. "It's so embarrassing."

"Well," Miles said, putting his arm around her. He was carrying her books in his other hand-- he always insisted on getting everything for her. " _I_ think you're the cutest."

Lola groaned. "More like _fattest_ ," she muttered, dodging his cheek kiss. She just felt gross.

"Hey, don't talk like that," Miles scolded her, planting a peck on her cheek anyway. "You're beautiful." He opened the car door for her and helped her get in.

"I know what will cheer you up," he said, starting the engine. "Let's go get ice cream."

Lola made a face. "No," she said, rubbing her stomach, which felt like it was getting bigger by the minute. "I don't want to gain any more weight."

Miles shook his head at her. "You _do_ realize you're pregnant, don't you?"

Lola rolled her eyes. "No, _really_?" she said sarcastically. She clutched her stomach and groaned.

"What?" Miles said, panicky all of a sudden. They were still sitting in the school parking lot. "What's the matter?"

Lola closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, massaging her stomach. "Contractions," she muttered, grimacing.

That really got Miles in a panic. "Oh my _god_ , are you having the baby _right now_?" he cried, reaching for her hand.

Lola swatted his hand away. "What? _No!"_ she said. "They're just practice contractions. My doctor said they're called like, Braxton Hicks or something." She opened her eyes, relaxing a little. "I think that one's done."

Miles let out a deep breath. "Is that... is that normal?"

Lola nodded. "Yes," she muttered, draping her arm over her forehead. She had heartburn again and was starting to get a headache. "Honestly Miles, what are you doing during these doctor appointments? Playing Gameboy?"

Miles glared at her. "Okay, I take back my ice cream offer."

Lola sighed. "I'm sorry," she said, leaning into him. "I don't mean to take everything out on you." She kissed him, then sighed again. "I'm just so sick of being pregnant," she said, holding her stomach. "But I still have three whole months to go." She groaned. "How am I gonna survive?"

Miles kissed her forehead. "By insulting me, of course," he laughed, stroking her hair.

Lola rolled her eyes, but leaned further into him, resting on his chest. "M _hmm_ ," she said. She smiled all of a sudden. "Wait. I know what we should do."

"What's that?" Miles asked, still running his fingers through her hair.

Lola sat up. "Let's go shopping for baby clothes!" she said, suddenly excited.

Miles groaned. "Isn't that the type of thing you do with Frankie and Shay?"

Lola frowned. "You're the _father."_

Miles started the car up again. He knew better than to argue with his pregnant girlfriend. "Alright, alright, fine," he muttered.

They ended up at a department store in the mall. Miles felt awkward-- no under thirty was in the baby clothes section. But Lola seemed happy, and that was all he really cared about.

"Look at this," Lola cooed, picking up a tiny pink onesie with flowers on it.

Miles made a face. "We still don't know if it's a boy or a girl," he reminded her.

Lola sighed, putting the onesie back. "Fine," she admitted. "But if it turns out to be a girl, you're _totally_ buying that for us."

Miles laughed. He picked up a plain, little red onesie. "What about this?" he said, holding it up.

"Aww," Lola cried, snatching it from him. She cradled the onesie like it was a baby. "Just picture our baby in this little outfit."

Miles laughed. "Well, we're going to need a lot more clothes than that." He pulled out a credit card from his wallet. "Luckily, my mom lent me this."

Lola's eyes widened. "She gave you money for the baby?"

"Yeah, she came around," Miles said, smiling. "It's not for free, though. I'm doing some paperwork for my dad on the weekends in exchange. I can work from home, so it doesn't require me seeing him."

Lola leaned in and kissed him. "I love you," she whispered.

Miles hugged her tight. "I love you too," he said. "Now, what do you say we do some shopping?"

An hour later, they walked out with a shopping cart full of clothes, diapers, bottles, and toys.

"Man," Lola said. "Our kid's going to be spoiled."

Miles laughed, pushing the cart. "Of course. He's a Hollingsworth."

"Or she," Lola reminded him.

"Right," Miles smiled. He finished loading the bags into his car. "Hey, I'm starving. Want to grab something to eat?"

"Only if you let me pay," Lola agreed, smiling. They walked to the food court where Miles ordered two slices of pepperoni pizza and Lola ordered two quarts of chow mein, a bowl of lemon chicken, and a side of fried rice.

"Geez," Miles laughed, watching her devour her food. "You're sure you've only got one baby in there, right?"

"Trust me, I'd be way bigger if it were twins," Lola laughed. She put her chopsticks down. "So much for not gaining any more weight."

Miles shrugged. "You're pregnant. You can do whatever you want."

Lola shook her head, taking another bite of chow mein. "That's what you think," she muttered. "I've practically been on lock down since I told my dad about the baby. 9 pm curfew, no phone calls on weeknights, no TV in my room."

Miles looked at her sadly. It didn't seem fair that she was being punished. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

Lola shrugged back. "It is what it is," she said. Her attention shifted across the food court. "Oh my gosh, look at that adorable baby."

Miles grinned. "Yeah," he muttered. It weirded him out a little to look at babies. It still seemed unbelievable that they were going to have their own in just a couple of months.

Lola sipped her drink. "What do you think our baby will look like?" she mused.

"Well," Miles said. "Between the two of us, I expect it to be gorgeous." He laughed. "But if it comes out with blue hair, I might cry."

Lola rolled her eyes. "With how tall you are, it's probably going to feel like I'm pushing a watermelon out of me."

"Yeah, I was a nine-pound baby," Miles said.

" _Aaagh_ ," Lola cried, running her hands over her stomach. Her face changed all of a sudden, looking upset. "I'm so nervous, Miles."

Miles squeezed her hand. "You're going to be fine," he assured her. "And I'll be right there with you the entire time."

Lola sighed. "It's not just that," she said. "How do I even know if I'm going to be a decent mom? It's not like I have one to model myself after."

Miles bit his lip. "Same with my dad," he muttered. He squeezed Lola's hand tighter. "I guess we'll just have to wing it," he laughed.

Lola burst into laughter. "Oh my god, Miles," she cried. "That's terrible."

Miles shook his head, still grinning. "Come on," he said, standing up. "Let's go sort through all these baby clothes."

Lola grabbed his hand and stood up, clutching her stomach. "Let's wing it," she laughed.


	22. Old History

I don't feel like this chapter was my best work, but here you go xx

 **Old History**

The next week, Lola sat in history class next to Shay and Frankie, trying to stay awake.

"I haven't been sleeping at all lately," Lola complained. "I wish I could at least have coffee," she added, staring at Frankie's mocha.

Frankie looked up from her notes. "We need to do something fun, like old times," she suggested.

"Like what?" Shay asked.

"Well," Frankie said, "Esme's having a party this weekend."

"Um, when were we _ever_ friends with Esme?" Shay laughed. "That doesn't exactly sound like "old times.""

Frankie shrugged. "Well, you two have been so busy with your boyfriends," she said. "So I've kinda been hanging out with her and Zig."

Lola laughed under her breath. "Now you know how I felt."

"Alright, that's enough chit chat, people!" Perino interrupted, commanding the class' attention. "Now, for this next project, we're going to work in groups of two or three--"

"Perfect," Lola said, looking to Shay and Frankie.

"Uh-huh," Perino said, shaking his head. "I'll be assigning partners." The class groaned as he began to read off the list. "Frankie, Shay, and Baaz, Maya and Vijay, Tiny and Lola--"

Shay sat up quickly. " _What_?" she said.

"Yeah, Mr. Perino, I don't know if that's such a good idea," Lola chimed in. She glanced at Tiny, who just shrugged.

"What is this, a democracy?" Perino said, annoyed. "Those are your partners. Now, let's _go_."

Lola shrugged apologetically at Shay and walked over to Tiny's desk. "Guess we're working together," she said, taking the seat next to him. She groaned-- her stomach was so big at this point that it nearly hung over the desk.

"You okay?" Tiny asked awkwardly.

Lola shifted to sitting sideways. "Yeah," she muttered, clutching her stomach. "I'm fine." She took a deep breath. "So, this is on Ancient Egypt, right?"

Tiny laughed. "Uh, Middle Ages."

Lola winced out of embarrassment. "Okay, well, I'll go grab our textbooks," she said, standing up but struggling to balance.

Tiny stood up quickly. "No, I'll get the books," he said. "You should sit."

Lola rolled her eyes. "Tiny, I'm pregnant, not _dying_ ," she said. She knew he was only trying to be nice, but she was so tired of everyone treating her differently. Tiny just shrugged.

She came back and handed Tiny a copy of the book. She opened hers to chapter seven and sighed. "This is weird, isn't it?"

Tiny looked up from reading. "A little, yes."

"Things were so different last year," Lola mused, flipping through the chapter. She smirked. "I have to say, I do kinda miss our snack parties. But not your taste in chips-- who even likes bbq pizza potato chips?"

Tiny laughed a little. "They're the best," he insisted. He shifted his eyes back to the textbook. "How are you and Miles?" he asked quietly, not looking at her.

Lola shrugged. "Good, I guess," she said. "The baby's due in less than three months."

"Man," Tiny groaned, shaking his head. "That's crazy."

Lola rolled her eyes. "You're telling me," she muttered. "This was _totally_ how I planned on spending my junior year."

Tiny tilted his chair back. "Yeah, growing a whole human inside you doesn't exactly sound fun."

"It really isn't," Lola said, laughing a little. "I heard about CalTech, by the way," she said. "Congrats. You deserve it." She smiled at him.

Tiny smiled back. "Thanks," he said. "Honestly, I still can't believe it. I mean, who would've thought _I_ would get into a school like that?"

Lola looked down. It made her kind of sad to talk about college-- she knew Miles was staying at home next year just for her, and she felt a little guilty about it. Plus, now she wasn't sure if she would have to put off university herself. She didn't even know how she would manage high school on top of a baby. "I feel like everyone is doing these amazing things with their lives," she sighed. "Meanwhile, I'm knocked up at sixteen."

Tiny shook his head. "Hey, you're still amazing," he tried to comfort her. "I mean, the way you don't let anyone stop you from doing the things you care about-- vlogging, school, theater-- that takes guts."

Lola smiled. Just then, she felt the baby kick again. She flinched-- the kicks were getting more intense lately. "Man," she groaned, holding her stomach.

Tiny sighed. "Hey, I've kinda been meaning to ask you," he said. "Was I-- I'm not, you know, the reason this happened... right?"

Lola stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

Tiny bit his lip. "Well, when I first got together with Shay, you were really upset," he said. "I'm sorry if that... well, if that's what made you get with Miles." He shrugged.

Lola shook her head, almost laughing. "No, Miles and I had our own reasons for hooking up," she assured him.

Tiny nodded. "Well, I'm glad you're happy with him."

Lola sighed thoughtfully. "Yeah," she mused, running her hands over her stomach. "I'm really lucky to have him."

Tiny was quiet for a minute, then added,"Hey, me and Shay and a few others are going camping in a couple of weeks. Maybe you and Miles should come."

Lola looked at him. "Won't that be weird?"

Tiny shrugged. "We're all friends now, aren't we?" He smiled at her.

Lola smiled back. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah, you're right." She sat up, stretching. "Okay. I'm in."

"Awesome," Tiny said, grinning. The bell rang. "Just uh, don't go into early labor or anything. That might disrupt our campfire," he laughed.

Lola shook her head. "You're going to regret inviting me," she said, starting to get out of her seat. "I'm gonna have to make like, 12 bathroom stops on the drive there."

Tiny helped her up. "That's the spirit." He waved goodbye and walked over to Shay.

Lola watched from a distance as he and Shay kissed. It was hard not to remember that there was a time when _she_ was the girl he was kissing. She sighed. So much had changed in the past year. But, she told herself, she had Miles now. Someone who she could trust and be her complete self around, good and bad. Until Miles, she never thought she could feel anything that strong for a guy again. Maybe she had loved Tiny, she thought to herself-- but with Miles, she didn't just love him. She was _in love_ with him. And perfect circumstances or not, that was all she needed.


	23. Changing Tides

I know some of you wanted to see more interactions with other characters, so I'll try to keep a balace in mind in the future. This chapter is pretty Miles/Lola heavy but the camping trip next chapter will bring some interesting interactions... xx

 **Changing Tides**

"So let me get this straight," Miles said. "You agreed to have us go camping with your ex-boyfriend."

"It's not like that," Lola protested. "Shay will be there. Jonah and Grace. Maybe Frankie too."

It was a quiet Friday night at the Hollingsworth house. Miles and Lola were sitting by the pool eating pizza and catching up. They were planning on getting started on the nursery tonight.

Miles shook his head. "It still sounds weird," he muttered, grabbing another slice of pizza.

"Zig and Esme are going too," Lola added, shrugging. "Oh. And Maya, I think."

Miles groaned. "Geez, my ex-girlfriend too?"

Lola looked at him quizzically. "When did you ever date Maya?"

Miles just stared at his plate. "Long time ago," he muttered.

Lola smirked. "What, did you _loooove_ her?" she teased him.

Miles made a face. "Did you _loooove_ Tiny?"

Lola rolled her eyes. "Why are you making such a big deal about this?" she sighed. "It's just camping. It's supposed to be fun."

Miles sighed. "Fine," he said. "If it's important to you, I'll go."

Lola gave him a peck on the cheek. "Thank you," she said. She leaned back in her chair, resting her hands on her belly. "Plus, you know, it's kind of one of my last chances to have fun before the baby's born."

"Yeah, I hear those newborns are a real timesuck," Miles laughed.

Lola's face dropped all of a sudden.

Miles looked at her worriedly. "What's the matter?"

"It's just kinda hitting me," she sighed, her voice sad. "You know-- how much I'm going to miss out on once the baby's here."

Miles pulled her closer. "I know," he murmured. "But just think about how amazing our baby is going to be."

Lola smiled a little. "That's true," she agreed quietly. She sat up all of a sudden. "Whoa," she said, holding her stomach. She grabbed Miles' hand and put it on her belly. "Feel this."

Miles' eyes widened. "Holy crap," he muttered. The baby was moving like crazy.

"I think it has the hiccups," Lola laughed.

"Wait, that's a thing?" Miles asked.

"Yeah," Lola said, running her hands over her bump. "Weird, huh?"

Miles frowned, a little worried all of a sudden. "Does it hurt?" he asked.

Lola shook her head. "No, not really," she assured him. She sighed. "Well... most of the time, at least." She'd be lying if she said it was never painful-- the jabs and kicks were getting more intense and frequent lately. Sometimes Lola just wanted to get the baby out of her already.

Miles squeezed her hand. "Maybe the baby's just mad because it hates pineapple and olive pizza," he laughed, nodding at Lola's plate.

Lola rolled her eyes, reaching for another slice. "Hey, I can't help what I crave," she said, laughing.

Just then, Frankie walked outside. "Hey, ready to work on the nursery?" she asked. "Ooh, pizza," she said, reaching for the box. She opened it and cringed in disgust. "Olives and pineapple, Lola? Really?"

"It's _good_ ," Lola insisted, finishing her slice.

Frankie rolled her eyes. "Pregnancy is weird," she muttered.

" _Anyway_ ," Miles said. "Let's get started on this nursery." He helped Lola up and opened the sliding glass door for her.

"It still has the hiccups," Lola groaned, out of breath as they walked up the stairs.

"My poor angel," Miles said, wrapping his arms around her.

Frankie made a face. "God, can you two not be so... _coupley_?"

"Speaking of," Miles said as they entered the extra bedroom. "We need to chat, sis. I don't like the rumors going around about you and Esme and Zig."

Frankie rolled her eyes at her overprotective brother. "They're _just rumors_ , Miles." She shook her head. "And anyway, I'm not the one having a kid at 17." She bit her lip. "No offense, Lola."

"None taken," Lola muttered, resting against the wall. She sighed. "So, are we going to start putting this nursery together or what?"

"Yeah," Miles said. "Wait-- I've got a surprise." He ran down the hall to the closet and dug out the old crib he had put together. "What do you think?" he asked Lola, wheeling it into the room.

Lola's face broke into a smile again. "Oh, Miles," she said, rubbing her stomach. "It's _perfect."_

The crib was a wooden beige with a soft white cot and a little mobile of stars hanging above it. Perfect for a boy _or_ a girl.

"Hey, me and Hunter's old crib," Frankie said, inspecting it. "Looks nice."

"I'm thinking we should still paint the room, though," Miles said.

"Yeah," Lola agreed. "I was thinking green. You know, 'cause it's gender neutral."

Miles smiled. "Read my mind," he said, pulling a green paint carton out of the closet.

Lola put her hands on her hips and leaned back, trying to relieve some of the back pain. "And I've got the bassinet all set in my room back home," she said.

Miles frowned. "Wait, why do we need a separate bassinet?" he asked.

"Well, we're still going to be shifting the baby between two places," Lola shrugged. "It's not like I can move in here."

Miles sighed. He didn't like the idea of being away from his baby so often. "I hadn't really thought about that," he admitted.

Frankie rolled her eyes. "Miles, you're not _married_ ," she reminded him. "What, did you think Lola's dad was just going to let her live with us?"

"I don't know, okay?" Miles snapped. He groaned. "God, why does this all have to be so complicated?"

Lola shook her head. "That's what we get for getting pregnant at 16," she muttered, holding her stomach.

"Let's just put together the nursery," Frankie jumped in, grabbing a paintbrush. "Okay?"

"Fine," Miles muttered.

A few hours later, it was done-- light green walls, a cozy crib, a rocking chair, a cute little rug and some paintings. It looked like a baby could really live there.

"I hope he-- or she-- likes it," Miles said, looking around the room.

Lola smiled. "I think it does," she said. "It won't stop kicking."


	24. Out of the Woods, Part 1

Sorry that this took awhile to post-- I should be back to posting more regularly this week! To answer one reviewer's question: yes, there will be a baby shower soon! Also, do you guys want me to bring in Lola's dad? I've been a little hesitant to do so just because we haven't seen him on the show yet xx

 **Out of the Woods, Part 1**

A couple of weeks later, Lola sat in her living room, waiting for Frankie to come by and pick her up. This weekend was their big camping trip. Lola had told her dad she was spending the night at Shay's-- there was no way he would let her go camping with a bunch of boys, and especially not with Miles.

She laid down on the couch and scooped her dog Fernando up. She tried to cuddle him, but there wasn't much room for both of them on the couch anymore. At seven months, her stomach was huge and took up most of the space. Fernando rested on Lola's belly, then suddenly jumped. The baby had kicked him off. "Nice move," Lola laughed, running her hands over her stomach. The baby was active all the time lately, always kicking or stretching or something. Lola sighed-- it was really getting exhuasting. Not only did she feel like there was a kangaroo in her stomach, but her hands and feet had completely swelled up too. Camping had seemed like a great idea a few weeks ago. Now, just getting off the couch seemed challenging.

Just then, the doorbell rang. "One minute," Lola groaned, starting the long process of lifting herself off the couch. Fernando beat her to the door, barking and howling like crazy. "Sheesh, calm down!" Lola hissed at him. She scooped him into her arms, one hand carrying him and the other on her belly. She felt like a duck with the way she walked now.

" _Miles_ ," Lola said, caught off gaurd. She let Fernando down. "What are you doing here? You know you're not supposed to come over."

Miles shrugged. "I know, but you said your dad wasn't home," he said sheepishly as Fernando started chewing on his shoe.

Lola sighed. "Fine," she said. "But we've got to be careful. No more sneaking around."

"Uh, didn't you tell your dad you were sleeping over at Shay's this weekend?" Miles pointed out, trying not to laugh.

Lola rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile. "Hey, sneaking around and lying are two different things," she protested.

Miles shook his head. "You're ridiculous," he said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "So," he said, "can I see where the baby's going to sleep?"

Lola picked Fernando up and put him in his dog bed. "Uh, sure," she said. "Follow me."

She felt kind of nervous all of a sudden. Even though they had hooked up several times, Miles had never actually been in Lola's bedroom.

"Wow," Miles said, laughing. "I didn't think it was possible to have this much pink in one room." He picked up the stuffed unicorn on her bed, shaking his head. "What are we gonna do if it's a boy?"

Lola rolled her eyes. "It's 2017, Miles," she said, taking a seat on her bed. "Gender roles are _so_ last century." She shifted her eyes towards the little corner where the basinnet, rocking chair, and changing table were. "And anyway, _that_ half of the room is the baby's."

Miles walked over, staring at everything. "Wow," he murmured, inspecting the basinnet. He ran his fingers through the little planet mobile. He shook his head. "It still seems so unreal."

"It's _been_ pretty real for some of us," Lola muttered, massaging her stomach.

Miles joined her on the bed. "Are you sure this camping trip is a good idea?" he asked worriedly, rubbing her back.

"I'll be fine," Lola murmured, leaning into his chest. She took a deep breath, running her hands over her belly. Her stomach was so big now that she felt like a whale. It was uncomfortable, to say the very least. But still, she wasn't going to miss out on this weekend with everyone. "We're only going to be an hour away from home, we'll be surrounded by other people the whole time, and the nearest hospital is only 20 minutes away."

Miles sighed. "Okay, then," he said, starting to lift her off the bed. "Let's get back to my house then. We've got to pick up Frankie."

"Yeah. Alright," Lola said. It took a solid two minutes to successfully get her off the bed. She groaned. "Just-- don't leave my side this weekend, okay?" she said, suddenly feeling vulnerable. Her eyes started to water. "Promise me."

Miles leaned over and brushed her cheek. "Hey, of course not," he whispered gently. "I'm not leaving _either_ of you," he promised, holding Lola's hand over her stomach.

Lola smiled a little. "Okay," she said, wiping her eyes. Miles grabbed her suitcase and they headed out for their little adventure.

As soon as they got to Hollingsworth house, it was clear things weren't going to go according to plan. They walked into the kitchen and saw not only Shay and Frankie, but Esme too.

"What is _she_ doing here?" Miles said, staring at Esme. The kitchen was covered in baking stuff. Shay was sitting on the couch while Frankie and Esme were standing over the kitchen counter, flour all over their faces.

Esme licked the frosting off one of her cupcakes. "Nice to see you too," she said to Miles. She raised her eyebrows at Lola. "Didn't realize you were bringing your baby mama along."

" _Okay, let's get going_!" Frankie interrupted, trying to minimize the chaos. "Esme, grab the bags. Shay, Lola, I'll meet you guys in my car."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Miles said, putting his hand up. "Lola and I are riding together."

Shay got up all of a sudden. "Uh, no, you're not," she protested. "I need girl talk." She glanced at Esme. "You can ride with Esme," she said to Miles.

"Guess we've got room for one more," a deep voice said from the other room. Miles turned around and sighed. Of course Zig was here too.

Lola shrugged at Miles. "I told you they were coming," she whispered. "Look, I'll be fine. It's only an hour ride."

Miles stared at Lola. "But, you just made me promise a few minutes ago not to leave you all weekend," he reminded her.

Lola shook her head. "A few minutes ago, I was super hormonal," she said, rolling her eyes. "I promise, I'll be fine."

"Let's get going!" Zig called. "We've got to pick up Tiny too."

Frankie nodded, grabbing Lola's hand and leading her away from Miles. "And we've got to pick up Maya, too."

Miles sighed. Great. This weekend could not possibly get more awkward.

"I'll be _fine_ ," Lola reassured him. "We'll be right behind you the entire time."

"Yeah, so just cut the baby drama and let's _go_ ," Esme butted in, snuggling up to Zig.

Miles just sighed, staring at Lola worriedly as Frankie pulled her outside. "I'll be _fine_ ," Lola said again, waving goodbye. "I'll see you at the campsite in an hour."


	25. Out of the Woods, Part 2

More of the multi-part chapter. Lola gets a bit annoying in this chapter, but she's 7 months pregnant, so cut her some slack haha.

 **Out of the Woods, Part 2**

"So, how do you guys even know Maya?" Lola asked on the way to Maya's house. She sat in the backseat blasting the A/C and fanning herself. The weather wasn't that bad, but Lola felt crazy warm all of a sudden.

"Well, she's been friends with Tiny like, forever," Shay said from the passenger seat, shivering from all the air conditioning. "And she used to date Zig."

"Yeah, and she and Miles went out too," Frankie added. Shay slugged her. "Ouch! _What_?" Frankie cried, clueless.

" _Relax_ ," Lola called from the backseat, still fanning herself. "I'm not one of those girls who flips out just because my boyfriend has exes."

Shay snorted. "Yeah, good thing for that, right?"

Lola rolled her eyes. "That wasn't aimed at you," she muttered. "God, and why is it so hot in here?!"

"Uh, you're the only one who's warm,"Frankie pointed out, turning the A/C down a notch. "Shay and I are freezing up here."

"Ughh," Lola moaned, draping her arm across her forehead. "Another hot flash."

"Well, you _are_ in your third trimester now," Shay said. She turned the A/C back up, deciding to just deal with the cold for Lola's sake.

"I hate this," Lola cried. "Being pregnant sucks!"

Frankie shrugged. "Only two more months to go though, at least," she offered, smiling weakly.

Lola sighed, feeling like she was about to cry again. "That's too long," she groaned, clutching her stomach. "I want it out _now_."

"Uh, can you not do that in the car?" Shay said, laughing a little. "That's kinda gross."

"Yeah, please Lo, no early labor in my car," Frankie added nervously.

Lola rolled her eyes. "Relax," she said. "I'm still only seven months along." She groaned, massaging her stomach. "I'm not due til July."

" _Good_ ," Frankie said, pulling into the driveway.

Maya was already standing outside waiting for them. She tossed her sleeping bag and backpack into the trunk and climbed into the backseat. "Hey, guys," she said, awkwardly scooting in next to Lola. "How's it going?"

"Just _fabulous_ ," Lola muttered.

"Sorry," Shay spoke up, apologizing on Lola's behalf. "She's like, super hormonal."

"I am _not_ ," Lola snapped. She grabbed the jumbo bag of Cheetos on the floor and started devouring them.

Maya just shook her head, laughing. "Well, Grace and Jonah are on their way to the campsite," she said, reading her phone.

"So are Miles, Esme, Zig, and Tiny," Frankie said. She paused. "Wow, that _is_ kind of a weird combination of people."

Shay sighed. "I just want to get to the campsite already," she said. "I'm so nervous about this weekend with Tiny."

"Ooh, have fun you two," Maya smirked.

" _Condoms_ ," Lola reminded Shay.

"Yeah, thanks, I already got the 12 you insisted on giving me," Shay muttered.

"Well, as long as you don't do what I did my first time," Maya laughed. "I was on Molly."

"With Miles?" Lola asked awkwardly.

Maya winced a little. "No," she said, looking down. "With... Zig."

"Uh, if you've heard any rumors concerning a pool, they're completely untrue," Frankie piped up.

"Can we stop?" Lola said. "I really need to pee."

Shay groaned. "We literally just left."

"And I'm seven months pregnant," Lola said, taking another handful of Cheetos. "I warned you I was gonna suck to travel with."

"There should be a gas station at the next exit," Maya said.

They pulled over at the rest stop. Maya and Lola went in while Shay and Frankie waited in the car.

Lola turned to Maya as they washed their hands at the sinks. "I'm sorry I'm being such a huge bitch," she blurted out.

Maya smiled. "It's okay," she said. "It's understandable, given everything."

Lola sighed. "Will it be weird for you? Having me and Miles there?"

Maya shrugged. "Not really," she said. "He and I broke up a long time ago." She grabbed a paper towel. "And I don't judge you or anything, just in case you thought I did."

Lola nodded. "Thanks, I guess," she mumbled. She reached for the paper towel holder. "I remember when me and you and Tiny and Zig used to double date all the time last year."

Maya smiled slightly. "Yeah, that was fun," she said.

"Yeah," Lola agreed, smiling back. "Well, until both Zig and Tiny screwed things up."

Maya rolled her eyes. "Guys are the worst."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Lola laughed. "The last one got me pregnant."

Maya just shook her head, smiling a little. "You're lucky to have Miles though," she said, pulling her hair into a ponytail. "He's a good guy."

"Yeah," Lola said softly, running her hand over her stomach. "He is." She stared at the floor. "Why... why exactly did you guys break up, then?" She bit her lip. "I mean, if you don't mind me asking."

Maya sighed. "I don't know," Maya said. "We just weren't right for each other. I mean, he was always freaking out over every little thing, and he got jealous a lot..." She shrugged. "Guess it just wasn't meant to be."

Lola gulped a little. "Oh," she said quietly.

"But he's grown up a lot since then," Maya added quickly. "He'll be there for you. And the baby."

Lola nodded. "He has been," she said.

"Good," Maya smiled. "Now, let's get back to the car. Frankie and Shay are probably wondering where we are."

"Okay," Lola agreed. She took a deep breath and walked outside towards Frankie's car, clutching her stomach. She felt the baby start to kick again. It didn't matter how many girls or guys had had Miles first, Lola tried to reassure herself as she took her seat next to Maya. This was her and Miles' baby. And they-- the three of them-- had a bond nobody could replace.


	26. Out of the Woods, Part 3

Glad you guys are mostly enjoying the camping chapter so far. Hopefully you find Lola a little less whiny in this chapter haha. After this there will be just one more part to the camping chapter xx

 **Out of the Woods, Part 3**

Miles, Zig, Tiny, and Esme got to the campsite before the rest of the group. It had been a weird car ride, to say the least. Zig and Esme had an argument, Tiny got car sick, and Miles mostly tried to pass the time by sending funny oomfchats to Lola. He got worried when she didn't respond.

" _Relax_ , man," Zig said. Miles was sitting in the passenger seat next to him. Zig and Esme had gotten into a massive argument at the gas station and so she refused to sit next to him, moving into the back with Tiny instead. "It's only an hour long car ride," Zig reminded him. "You guys spend more time apart at school every day."

"I know, I know," Miles said, tapping on his window. "But she's in her third trimester now. I don't want anything to go wrong."

"Who even goes camping when they're eight months pregnant?" Esme piped up from the back.

"Seven," Miles corrected her.

Esme rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she muttered, munching on a bag of pretzels. She smirked. "Remember when you told me all pretentiously that not every friendship between a guy and a girl ends in home base?" she laughed.

Miles turned around and shot her a look. "Are you done?"

Tiny butted in before Esme could say anything else. "Look, don't worry about Lola," he said to Miles. "She's strong. She can handle herself."

Miles just nodded stiffly at Tiny. It was still kind of uncomfortable knowing that Lola had dated Tiny for eight months. That was over twice as long as he and Lola had been officially dating.

"Aaaand, we're here!" Zig announced, pulling over.

They got out of the car and took a look around. Even though they were supposedly only 20 minutes from the nearest town, the campsite felt like it was a million miles away from civilization. They were surrounded by nothing but nature, with enormous pine trees and mountains looming over their heads.

"Yeah, this was a bad idea," Miles muttered, leaning against the car.

"Miles!"

Miles turned around and breathed a sigh of relief as Lola leaped into his arms. "You're okay!" he said, catching his breath.

Lola looked up at him. "Why wouldn't I be?" she shrugged, still clinging to his chest.

"Well, you didn't respond to any of my oomfchats," Miles said.

"Ooooh, _that_ ," Lola said. "Yeah, sorry. I wasn't really paying attention to my phone. I was busy talking to Maya for most of the ride."

Miles raised his eyebrows. "Maya?"

"Hey," Maya said suddenly, walking towards them. "Good to see you, Miles." She rolled her eyes at his apprehensive expression. "God, stop being weird," she said to him. She and Lola looked at each other and giggled, then ran off to go set up the tents together.

Miles watched in confusion as the two of them chatted away. "I don't know how I feel about my girlfriend and my ex being friends," he muttered.

"Join the club, man," Tiny said, patting him on the back. "Hey, do me a favor and help me with the cooler."

It took them about 25 minutes to get the campsite all set up, fire included. Grace and Jonah finally arrived. "Sorry," Jonah said, tossing his car keys in his hand. "Lotta traffic."

Miles glanced over at his sister as Jonah put his arm around Grace. He knew Frankie-- she wasn't happy seeing Jonah with another girl so soon. Frankie just looked down, rolling her eyes and muttering something about stupid high school boys.

Esme finally broke the ice. "So, who wants special brownies?" she said, opening up a Tupperware.

"I'll pass, obviously," Lola said, holding her stomach.

"Yeah, I'm good," Miles agreed, shaking his head.

"Nah," Tiny muttered, glancing at Shay, who seemed pretty nervous about something. The rest of the group just shrugged.

Esme sighed. "Fine," she said, sitting down. "More for me, then."

Grace, sensing the awkwardness in the group, finally spoke up. "Let's play a game or something," she suggested, taking a seat next to Jonah.

Zig shrugged. "Like what?"

"Never have I ever?" Esme said, smirking.

Shay winced. "That didn't exactly end well last time."

"Well, do you have a better idea?" Esme said, rolling her eyes. Shay just shook her head, muttering something to herself.

Esme tossed out beers to everyone, handing Lola, Grace, and Jonah sodas instead. Miles swapped his for a Coke-- alcohol had never been his problem, but he was trying to stay away from addictive substances in general, especially around Lola.

"Alright, uh, I'll start," Miles said. Lola was sitting on his lap-- she was kind of crushing him, but he knew better than to tell her that. "Never have I ever uh... had a threesome."

Esme winked at Zig and clinked her beer can against his. To Miles' horror, Frankie quietly took a sip of hers as well. He shook his head at her, groaning quietly. Maya just stared at Zig.

It was Shay's turn next. "Umm... never have I ever... cheated on anyone?"

Zig awkwardly sipped his beer. Miles picked up his soda hesitantly. He and Lola glanced at each other-- it was still uncomfortable to acknowledge that their baby had been conceived when Miles was with Tristan, coma or not.

It was Esme's turn next. She had a mischievous look on her face that gave Miles a bad feeling. "Never have I ever been dumb enough to knock anyone up or get knocked up," she said, smirking at Miles and Lola.

Miles had had enough. "Screw this game," he muttered, storming off into the woods.

" _Miles_!" Lola called after him, but he was already out of earshot.

Suddenly, Jonah got up. "I'll be right back," he said, following where Miles had gone.

He found him slumped against a tree, arms crossed like a kid having a tantrum. "Come on, man," Jonah said. "It's just Esme."

Miles shook his head, too worked up to listen. "I'm just so _sick_ of everyone talking shit about Lola and me," he said angrily. "Whatever man," he mumbled. "You wouldn't understand."

Jonah laughed under his breath. "You'd be surprised," he muttered. He took a deep breath. "You know Miles, you're not the first to get a girl pregnant."

Miles stared at him. "Don't tell me you knocked Frankie up!" he cried.

" _God_ , no," Jonah laughed. He shook his head. "But I did get another girl pregnant. It was a few years ago." He sighed. "She was only fourteen and I wasn't... I wasn't very nice to her. Her parents didn't want me to be involved, so I never got to see the kid."

Miles looked at him, shocked. He had no idea Jonah had a kid. "So, you never even got to meet him?"

"Her," Jonah said, his voice sad. "And... no. And I never will." He stared at the ground. "Only Grace knows. Nobody else at Degrassi."

Miles sighed. "So, why are you telling me this?"

Jonah just shrugged. "Because I know what it's like," he said, "to feel the kind of pressure you're under, to feel like everyone is judging you, and that you're not good enough."

Miles smiled a little. "Well, thanks, Jonah," he said, his voice calmer now. "And I'm sorry, you know, about your daughter."

Jonah smiled back, but didn't look at him. "Don't worry about it," he murmured. He bit his lip. "Just uh, don't tell Frankie, alright?"

Miles nodded. "Secret's safe with me."

"Welcome to the dad club," Jonah said, putting his fist out. Miles bumped it and they both shook their heads laughing, heading back to the campsite.


	27. Out of the Woods, Part 4

The camping continues... This is one of my favorite chapters actually, so I hope you guys like it! xx

 **Out of the Woods: Part 4**

Later that night when everyone had fallen asleep, Miles and Lola laid in their tent cuddling. He wrapped his arms around her, hands on her belly, and held her closely, his hot breath against her neck. Lola sighed happily-- the warmth of his body felt so good against her back. It was the most comfortable she'd been able to get in weeks.

"It's kind of hard to cuddle with you when I'm this fat," she laughed.

Miles rolled his eyes. "For the last time," he whispered. "You're _not_ fat." He felt the baby start to kick again. It was like clockwork-- kick, pause, kick, pause. It still gave him a thrill just to feel it, to know their baby was there.

In this moment, it was like Miles had everything he'd ever wanted. Sure, things hadn't exactly gone according to plan-- he certainly hadn't planned on having a kid this young. And it still scared the crap out of him, if he was being honest. But still, even with these less-than-ideal circumstances, he felt amazingly lucky to have Lola and the baby. He loved them-- both of them-- more than he ever thought possible.

He started to tear up. "I'm so sorry I left you," he murmured, holding her close.

"Hey, it's fine. You were only gone like five minutes," Lola said.

A tear streamed down Miles' face. He felt embarrassed-- he rarely ever cried. He didn't like Lola seeing him like this, vulnerable. "No, I'm not talking about that," he whispered. "I meant-- before." He sighed. "When Tris woke up and I told you we shouldn't talk anymore.. I just abandoned you, I practically told you to just fuck off..." He flipped over to his backside so he could look her in the eye. "I'm just so sorry I ever did that to you."

Lola leaned over and kissed him gently on his forehead. "It's okay," she whispered. "That's all in the past now. And you were just doing what you thought was right."

Miles was crying now. "No, no, it's not okay," he said, his voice trembling. "And then when you told me you were pregnant and I just-- I just flipped out and basically ignored you for weeks..." He turned into her shoulder and sobbed. "I'm just so fucking _sorry_ , Lola."

Lola held him. She'd only seen him like this a handful of times-- once, when Tristan was first taken to the hospital, his body covered in blood and his face unrecognizable; and then again, when she and Miles were afraid they could lose the baby. "Shh," she whispered, trying to calm him down. "You're here now. That's what matters." She was quiet for a minute, then smiled a little. "You know what just occurred to me," she said quietly, rubbing her stomach. "We've never discussed baby names."

Miles sat up. "Crap, you're right," he said. He started laughing all of a sudden, a goofy smile on his face. "Guess we can't just assign the kid a random number."

Lola elbowed him. " _Stop_ ," she laughed, moving her hand up and down her belly. She shook her head. "God, what kind of parents _are_ we?"

Miles kissed her on the cheek. "Hopefully good ones," he said, grinning. "Now, what baby names were you thinking of?"

Lola smiled. "I like the name Harry," she said dreamily. "Or Ronald. Or Luna, for a girl."

"Okay," Miles said, "I--" He paused. "Wait. Are those from _Harry Potter_?"

Lola blushed. "Um, maybe?" she said, giggling.

Miles shook his head laughing. "Lola, we are _not_ naming our kid after Harry Potter."

Lola pulled him into a kiss. "Well, what names did _you_ have in mind?"

"I don't know," Miles admitted. He rubbed her feet-- poor Lola had been so swollen and sore lately. "I guess I just want something meaningful, but simple. Something that suits it."

Lola nodded. "Maybe we'll just know when we meet them," she said.

Miles looked at Lola's belly. "Do you feel like it's a boy or a girl?" he asked, curious.

Lola bit her lip. "I don't know," she said thoughtfully, rubbing her stomach. "At first, I thought it was a girl. But then I started to picture a little boy. Now, I can't make up my mind."

Miles sighed thoughtfully. "Well," he said, tracing his fingers over her bump, "if it's a boy, we just can't name it Miles."

Lola looked at him, confused.

"You ever notice I'm Miles Hollingsworth the _third_?" Miles said. "Family tradition. And there's no way I'm letting our kid share the same name as my dad."

"Yeah, I get it," Lola said quietly. "Don't worry-- I didn't want to name our baby that anyway. I mean, how confusing would that be?" She laughed, blushing at him.

Miles smiled. "Guess we'll just have to keep thinking."

Just as he was leaning in to kiss her, suddenly a voice yelled, "Help! _Help_!"

Miles lept up and opened the tent. "What? What happened?" he yelled. He ran over to Esme, who was surrounded by the others.

Lola poked her head out to see what was going on. "Just stay in the tent and rest," he told her. "Everything is fine." He wasn't sure if that was actually the case, but he knew stress was bad for the baby.

"She got stung by a bee," Zig explained, looking panicked. "She's allergic!"

"Well, does she have an epi pen?" Miles asked, trying to keep everyone calm. He put his hand on Esme's back as she shook violently.

"I got it!" Maya said, reaching into Esme's bag.

Esme grabbed the epi pen and stabbed her hand with it. "I'm okay," she gasped, sitting up slowly.

"We need to get you to the hospital," Zig said hurriedly.

"That's really not necessary," Esme said quietly, not looking at any of them.

"What? No, the epi pen just buys time. You still need to go," Grace said.

Esme looked panicked. "No, no, really, I'm _fine_."

Shay picked up the epi pen. "She didn't even inject herself!"

Zig stared at her. "You _faked_ all of this?"

"I can explain!" Esme cried.

" _There_ you are! How could you ditch me in the woods??"

Miles turned around and saw his sister soaking wet and freezing. "Frankie, are you okay?" he asked, rushing over to her. He took off his jacket and gave it to her.

Zig looked at Esme in disgust and stormed off. "I'm _so_ done with this," he muttered angrily.

Miles just shook his head at Esme. God, he hated her. He couldn't believe she would cause a scene like this. "Geez, you could've sent Lola into early labor!"

Tiny sighed. "Just go back to your tents, everyone," he said. He didn't even look at Esme.

"Good idea," Miles mumbled. He ran back over to the tent. "Lola? Lola, baby are you okay?"

He stopped. Lola was fast asleep, cuddling with his pillow. He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her belly, then settled in next to her. "Goodnight, sweetheart," he whispered. "I love you."


	28. Don't Wanna Know

I'm glad the camping chapter is finally over honestly lol. Glad you guys seemed to like it though. There's a little drama ahead for Mola, but you know, it wouldn't be degrassi without it... xx

 **Don't Wanna Know**

That Monday, Miles and Lola walked into school together holding hands, tired and a little cranky. They were still exhausted from this weekend's camping trip.

"God, my feet are swollen," Lola said. She stopped in the hallway for a minute to catch her breath.

Miles sighed. "Are you sure you should be on your feet so much?" he asked worriedly.

Lola shook her head. "I'll be fine," she assured him. "My doctor says it's perfectly alright for me to be at school still."

Miles frowned. "I just don't like seeing you in pain."

"Well, in that case," Lola said, laughing, "you might want to tell our baby to stop kicking the crap out of me." She paused and held her stomach for a minute, wincing.

Miles put his arm around her. "Does it hurt really bad?" he asked, a little panicked.

Lola took a breath. "It's just... kicking a lot," she sighed, clutching her stomach. "I think I'd better sit for a second."

Miles seated her on one of the hallway benches and rubbed her back. He knew this was all normal, but he felt awful seeing her like this.

Lola leaned into his chest. "I hate feeling like this," she admitted. "All helpless and needy. It's so not me."

Miles kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, baby," he said quietly.

Lola tried sitting up a little. "I mean, it's weird at school, having people staring at me all the time," she sighed. "And it's weird at home too. My dad still doesn't want to accept that his sixteen-year old is pregnant." She smoothed her hands over her stomach. "Sometimes, I still can't believe it either. Like, I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and not even recognize myself anymore." She sighed. "I don't know where that bubbly, bright-haired girl went."

Miles pulled her closer. "She's right here," he said. He took a deep breath. "And honestly Lola, I hope our kid turns out to be more like you than me."

Lola smiled at him and sighed. She loved him so much. She slowly pulled him into a kiss, savoring the feeling like it was their first. Her mind wandered back to that night at the party when they first kissed, the night their baby was conceived. They had been so caught up in the moment, so immersed in each other, that they didn't have time to stop and think.

He was so gentle with her that first time, not even aware that he was her first. He'd kissed her slowly and leaned into her neck, his warm body against hers, whispering, _Does this feel good?_ and moaning softly into her ear.

Looking back on it, it had all happened so fast. One minute they were just kissing and the next they were taking each other's clothes off. Lola still didn't know what exactly made her decide to sleep with him that night. Maybe it was the way he made her feel wanted and special-- _needed,_ even-- like no one else had. Maybe it was the way he looked into her eyes like he was studying her soul. Even now, she didn't quite know for sure.

Now, in the hallway, the two of them were still sitting there just holding each other and talking quietly when someone interrupted.

Lola turned away from Miles. "Saad," she said, surprised. "What's up?" They hadn't spoken much outside of class since their breakup.

Saad smiled at Lola and nodded awkwardly at Miles. "Hey," he said, "I was just wondering if we could maybe work on our chemistry project together? We got an A on our last one and I sure could use the grade points."

Without even looking at Miles, Lola agreed. "Sure, sounds good," she said right away. She hated to admit it, but his smile still made her blush a little.

Saad smiled. "Awesome," he said quietly. "So... want to work at my house Friday night? Say, around 5:30-ish?"

Miles glanced back and forth between the two of them. He didn't like the way Saad was looking at her-- and he didn't like the way she was looking back at him.

Lola just nodded. "Yeah, sure," she said, smiling. "See you then."

When Saad finally left, Miles turned to Lola. " _Seriously_?"

Lola shrugged at him. "What's the big deal?"

Miles just stared at her. "You just agreed to go to your ex's house -- alone-- and you _really_ don't see the problem with that?"

Lola let go of his hand. "No, I don't," she said defensively. "It's for school. He and I are friendly, okay? Nothing more." She bit her lip. "And if you trusted me, you wouldn't have a problem with it either."

Miles sighed. "I _do_ trust you," he said. "I just... I don't like the idea of you going there alone with him. Especially when you're seven months pregnant."

Lola stared at him. "What, so since I'm having your baby, I'm like, your _property_ now?"

"What? _No,_ " Miles said quickly. "I didn't say that, I would never say that..." He sighed, tired and fed up. "Why are you being like this?" he snapped.

Lola just shook her head at him. "Whatever, Miles," she said, grabbing her bag. "I'll see you later."

Miles stood up with her. "God, what is your _problem_?"

Lola stared at him for a second, then laughed under her breath. "My _problem_?" she said, flabbergasted. "My _problem_ is that I look like I'm carrying a bowling ball in my stomach, pretty much everyone is talking about me behind my back, and my _boyfriend_ doesn't seem to trust me!"

Miles sighed. "Okay," he said, staring down at the floor. "You're right, I'm sorry." He bit his lip. "I _do_ trust you..."

"Thank you," Lola muttered. She took a deep breath. "And I'm sorry too," she said quietly, "you know, for lashing out at you like that."

The bell rang for first period. "Okay well, I gotta get going," she said quickly, giving him a peck on the cheek. "I'll see you at lunch. I love you."

"Love you too," Miles whispered. He watched as Lola ran to her classroom for chemistry and Saad opened the door for her. He sighed. _Just trust her_ , he reminded himself.


	29. Something Old, Something New

Please keep reviewing, it's really helpful!! So I have a few more things that are going to happen before the baby is born. It won't be long now (Lola's almost 8 months), but I hope you guys aren't getting bored with the pregnancy storyline xx

 **Something Old, Something New**

Lola and Saad ended up spending most of week working together. It made Miles nervous, to say the least. He knew he had to trust her-- and he did-- but it still made him feel uneasy.

One day after school, Lola and Saad sat at the Dot together doing their homework. He ordered a medium chocolate shake and Lola got a large strawberry shake and a small order of chili cheese fries. Saad insisted on paying for her.

"You really didn't have to do that," Lola said, settling into one of the booths. Some kids from Degrassi stared at the two of them.

"No, no, I wanted to," Saad insisted, pulling out his chem book. "Uh, so," he cleared his throat, "how are you... how are you feeling?"

Lola was surprised. In the entire time they dated, Saad had avoided talking about the pregnancy. "I'm okay," she said, taking a sip of her milkshake. "Haven't been sleeping much at night, but I can deal."

"You should try chamomile oil," Saad said. "It's supposed to help with insomnia." He sipped his chocolate shake. "And it should be safe for you to use."

Lola smiled at him. "Chamomile oil," she nodded. "Thanks." She paused. "How did you know that?"

Saad looked down. "I had pretty bad insomnia after we fled from Syria," he explained. "PTSD from the war and all."

"Oh," Lola said quietly. She gave him a weak smile. "I'm sorry."

Saad shrugged. "It's alright," he said. "But yeah. That should help you."

Just then, Lola's phone went off. As usual, it was from Miles, checking in on her. She sighed, typing out _everything is fine._ It was cute sometimes, the way he hovered over her. But lately it was all the time. Lola wasn't quite sure if that was because she was getting closer to her due date or because she was spending time with Saad.

"When... when are you due?" Saad asked, still a bit awkward. He reached over and tried to steal one of Lola's fries, but he wasn't very good at being subtle.

Lola grabbed a handful of fries, rolling her eyes at Saad trying to steal some. "July 10," she said. "Can't come soon enough," she laughed. She paused, taking a sip of her drink. "But I'm also really nervous. I mean, I've never even babysat before."

"You know," Saad said thoughtfully, "you could babysit for my brother and sister. My parents are going to dinner next weekend and I'd really like to be off duty for once."

Lola raised her eyebrows. "Could Miles come too?"

Saad nodded, trying to smile. "Of course," he added. He paused. "How are things with him?" he asked quietly.

Lola bit her lip. She had gotten together with Miles just a few days after she and Saad broke up. Saad knew-- he'd seen them kissing in the halls-- but neither of them really addressed it. Lola had felt a little bad-- but at the same time, she didn't feel like it was _too_ big of a deal. She and Saad had only dated for about a month; it's not like they were in love or anything.

"They're fine," Lola said, seeing another two texts from him. She'd answer them later, she told herself.

Saad gave her a weak smile. "Good," he said.

"So," Lola cleared her throat, "chapter 38, right?"

Saad shook his head, smiling. "23," he said, laughing.

Lola bit her lip. "Right," she muttered, blushing slightly.

They worked together for about 30 minutes until someone interrupted them.

" _Miles_ ," Lola cried, startled. "What are you doing here?"

Miles looked flustered. "I got worried when you didn't answer my texts," he said. "I thought... I thought something happened."

Lola sighed. "I told you I was studying at the Dot."

Miles took a deep breath, telling himself to snap out of it. He knew he shouldn't act like this, all clingy and jealous. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry," he said. He nodded awkwardly at Saad.

"Um actually," Saad said, trying to break the tension. "I was just saying maybe you and Lola could babysit for my little brother and sister next weekend?" He shrugged.

Miles glanced back and forth between Saad and Lola. "Um, yeah, sure," he muttered.

"Thank you for letting us, Saad," Lola added, not looking at Miles. "That's really nice of you."

Saad nodded. "It's no problem. You're helping me out too." He grabbed his chem book. "I'd better head out, actually," he said, getting up. "I've got to be home for dinner. I'll text you later, Lola." He waved goodbye to both of them and left.

Miles took a seat. Lola just shook her head at him. "What's going on with you?" she asked, still irritated.

Miles sighed. "Nothing," he muttered. "It's just-- you've been with him most of the week, and I know you said there's nothing going on, but I just--" He took a deep breath. "I just wanna know that you're okay, alright? I mean, I got really freaked out when you fainted a couple of months ago and I don't want to miss you going into labor or--"

"Miles, I'm not due till July," Lola said. She sighed. Maybe she had been too distant lately. "But I get it," she said, grabbing his hand. "Look, I'm terrified. I mean, our lives are about to change forever in less than two months and I have absolutely _no clue_ what I'm doing."

Miles let out a deep breath. "So," he said, "babysitting, huh?"

Lola shrugged. "Might be a good practice run," she said, rubbing her stomach.

Miles laughed under his breath. "Yeah," he said quietly. He sat up. "So, do you want a ride home?"

"Actually, I still have a lot of homework to do," Lola said.

Miles was quiet. "Oh."

"But I wouldn't mind company," Lola added, smiling.

Miles smiled back. "Okay," he said quietly. Lola squeezed his hand and then let go of it, going back to taking chem notes.

Miles studied her as she did her homework. _He couldn't lose her_.


	30. If It Means a Lot To You

Yikes, 30 chapters already and the kid hasn't even been born yet! Lola is 8 months now. I'm already pretty set on the baby's gender, but I'm curious about what you guys prefer or think it will be... Thank you again for your reviews! I hope Miles hasn't been too OOC, he's kind of difficult to write sometimes xx

 **If It Means a Lot To You**

Lola and Yael sat in the media room at lunch the next week waiting for the rest of the vlogging team. The boys weren't usually this late-- something was up.

"I haven't even talked to Hunter outside of the meetings," Yael said to Lola, sighing.

Lola frowned. "He hasn't come around?"

Yael shook their head. "No," they said. "And I don't think he will."

"I'm sorry," Lola said. "I feel like this is kind of my fault. I mean, the makeover was my idea."

"No, it's definitely not," Yael assured her. "This is me. I'm not going back to the old Yael-- not for him, not for anyone."

Just then, the boys finally walked in. "Sorry we're late," Baaz said. He glanced at Lola. "Oh, you're still here."

Lola stared at him. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I thought you'd be on leave from school, given that you look ready to pop," Baaz said, laughing.

Lola rolled her eyes. "Month eight," she muttered, smoothing her hand over her huge stomach. "Pregnancy is supposed to last _nine_ months. Or were you not paying attention in bio class?"

"Not to break up the chit chat," Vijay interrupted, taking a seat. "But we're in a bit of a crisis. Our numbers have plummeted."

"What?" Yael said. "Why?"

Hunter slumped into his seat. "If I had to guess," he said, looking all surly, "I'd say having a pregnant girl on our team isn't exactly helping."

Lola sat up. She looked Hunter straight in the eye. "Excuse me?" she said. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Let's just be real," Hunter sighed. "Would _you_ take fashion advice from a knocked up teenager?"

"Sure, if she's hot," Baaz said under his breath.

Vijay elbowed him. "What Hunter's trying to say," he said, "is that viewers talk. And not always in a good way. I mean, have you seen some of the comments your videos have been getting lately?"

Lola looked away. "I don't care what people think," she said, her voice wavering. But of course she did, at least a little. She'd seen some of the comments calling her a slut or fat or a skank. A couple of them had mentioned how she "stole" Miles from "poor" Tristan, labeling her a homewrecker or boyfriend stealer.

"Look, Lola," Hunter said. "It's nothing personal. But I think it's best if for right now, you just... take a break from the team."

Yael stood up. "You're _firing_ her for being pregnant?" they said, angry. "You can't do that!"

"No," Lola stopped Yael, getting up. "If the guys don't want me on the team, then I guess I shouldn't be on the team." She ran out of the room, tears streaming down her face.

She ran down the hallway and plopped down on an empty bench. She rubbed her stomach, sobbing quietly to herself.

"Lola, what happened? Are you okay?"

Lola looked up and saw Saad. She just sighed. "I'm fine," she said unconvincingly, wiping her eyes.

Saad sat down next to her. "Do you want to talk about it?" he offered.

Lola shook her head. "Saad, what am I doing?" she cried.

Saad looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

Lola sighed. "I thought I could handle this, you know, walking around school pregnant and taking care of a baby and--" She started to cry again. "It's like, I made one stupid mistake and now the entire world is judging me for it." She felt bad as soon as she heard the words come out of her mouth. She didn't think of the baby as a _mistake_. She loved Miles and she didn't _regret_ that night, exactly. But she'd be lying if she said she didn't miss the way things were, when she was just a normal teenager, making videos and playing volleyball and working for her dad's restaurant and gossiping with her two best friends about boys.

"Yeah, I know the feeling," Saad said quietly. Lola stared into his eyes. She loved Miles. She really did. But sometimes, she caught herself missing Saad. Their relationship, however brief, had been a welcome distraction from her messy situation.

"Lola."

Lola looked up. _Miles._

Miles looked back and forth between the two of them. "What's going on here?" He noticed Lola's tears. "Lola, why are you crying?" he asked worriedly, scooting next to her. He stared at Saad angrily, like he was the one who made Lola cry.

"No, no, Saad didn't do anything," Lola said quickly.

"I was just leaving," Saad added, getting up. He disappeared into the cafeteria.

Miles just stared at her, his eyes a mixture of concern and hurt.

Lola sighed. "It's... your brother," she finally said. "He kicked me off the vlogging team."

Miles' face immediately turned angry. " _What_?" he said, his voice hot and tense. "God, I'm going to _kill_ that little punk."

Lola put her hand on his shoulder. "No," she said. "No, it's fine."

Miles laughed under his breath. "It's most certainly _not_ fine," he said. He groaned. "God, he's been such a dick about this whole thing. I think it's cause he used to have a thing for you, or something."

Lola laughed suddenly. " _Hunter_?" She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right."

Miles shook his head, laughing a little. "I'm serious," he said. "I think he's pissed that we hooked up. Like, he's jealous of me pulling more girls than him or something."

Lola just shook her head. "God, why are boys _so_ dumb?" she said. She didn't know why she was still laughing, but she was. "If we have a boy, you'd better teach him right," she said, running her hand over her stomach.

Miles groaned. "Trust me," he muttered. He sighed. "I'm gonna go talk to him," he said, getting up. "Are you gonna be okay?"

Lola nodded. "I'll be fine," she said. She tried to stand. but Miles had to help pull her up. "I'll see you for babysitting at seven tonight, right?"

Miles nodded-- he'd almost forgotten about that. "Yeah. Of course."

Lola leaned in and kissed him, hard. Miles sighed happily-- it had been awhile since she'd kissed him that passionately. "Well," he said, giving her a peck on the cheek. "See you tonight."


	31. Harder To Breathe

Okay so I was really swamped with homework today but I really wanted to post an update, so here's a short chapter. The story is about to get veryyyy interesting soon. Thanks again for your reviews xx

 **Harder To Breathe**

Miles stormed into the media room, seething with anger. "Hunter!" he shouted. He knew Baaz, Vijay, and Yael were all staring at him, but he didn't care.

Hunter turned around and glared at him. "I'm in the middle of a meeting."

"I don't care," Miles said, jaw clenched. "Outside. _Now_."

"Someone's in _trouble_ ," Vijay hummed under his breath. Miles ignored him.

Miles slammed the door behind him, leaving the two of them in the empty hallway. "What the hell is your problem, Hunter?" he yelled. "You had no right to fire Lola!"

Hunter just scoffed. "Last time I checked, All Inclusive was _my_ turf," he said, crossing his arms. "I reserve the right to fire whoever I want."

"Oh, cut the crap," Miles said. He looked his brother dead in the eye. "Look, Lola is _my_ girlfriend and she's part of our family now," he said, his breath tense and hot. "So you'd better start treating her a _lot_ better." He took a deep breath, pacing. "Just because you had a crush on her--"

Hunter laughed. "You really think _that's_ all this is about?"

Miles just stared at him.

"You literally manage to screw up every part of my life," Hunter said. "Dad... girls... now my vlogging team." He took a deep breath. "You know what I did the entire weekend you and Frankie and Lola were off camping? I listened to mom cry about how she feels like she's failed as a parent. How the whole town can't stop talking about the mayor's son knocking some grade 11 up." He shook his head. "You just always have to find some way to mess up our family more. As if we weren't already screwed up enough."

Miles didn't know what to say. He didn't know Hunter felt all this resentment toward him. "Look," he said to his brother, his voice quieter now. "It's not your job to fix our family, okay?" He sighed. "I'm sorry if I've been kind of a crappy brother," he said. "But you still can't treat Lola like this. She's dealing with enough pain already without you adding to it."

Hunter sighed. "Fine," he muttered. "I'll apologize."

"And give her her job back," Miles added.

Hunter made a face. "But our number of views--"

"I don't care," Miles said firmly. "Put her back on the team."

"Alright, alright," Hunter said.

Miles shook his head. "You know you're gonna be an uncle," he said, grinning a little.

Hunter rolled his eyes, but laughed slightly. "Don't remind me."

"Aww, come on," Miles teased, laughing. " _Uncle Hunter_. Doesn't that have a nice ring to it?"

Hunter shook his head. "I can't believe you're gonna be a dad," he muttered. "Didn't see that one coming."

"Hey, at least I didn't knock Esme up," Miles laughed.

Hunter rolled his eyes. "See you at home," he said, walking away.

"Where are you going?" Miles asked.

Hunter turned around. "To apologize to Lola," he mumbled.

Miles nodded approvingly. "Good," he said. He waited until Hunter was out of earshot, then added, "Or I'll kick your scrawny ass."

The bell rang and Miles headed to class. But on the way, Mr. Mitchell, his creative writing teacher, stopped him. "Miles!" he said. "Mind if we have a quick word?"

Miles gulped. _What had he done now?_ "Uh, sure," he sputtered. "Did-- did I do okay on yesterday's quiz? I didn't really have time to study for it, but--"

Mr. Mitchell shook his head. "It's not about that," he said, smiling. "One of the admissions persons from London Writer's Academy is in town visiting Degrassi. They're asking for our recommendations... for exceptionally gifted student writers."

Miles blinked. "Huh?" he said.

Mr. Mitchell laughed. "I sent them a copy of your play script and they're very impressed. One of the admission panels wants to meet with you for coffee next week, if you're available."

Miles was stunned. "Like... to go to school there?"

"To be considered, yes," Mr. Mitchell said. "You have a real gift, Miles. It'd be a shame not to use it."

Miles just stood there frozen. "Thank you," he said, stunned. It really did feel good to be recognized. "But," he sighed, "The thing is, I can't. Lola, she needs me. We're... we're keeping the baby." He bit his lip. "I can't leave Toronto."

Mr. Mitchell nodded. "I understand," he said reassuredly. He sighed. "I wasn't entirely sure about your situation with Lola or what the two of you were planning to do," he explained.

Miles sighed. "Yeah," he shrugged. "But i do appreciate the thought, Mr. Mitchell. I really do."

Mr. Mitchell smiled. "Well, just in case," he said, digging a business card out of his pocket. "Here's the admission woman's contact info." He handed the card to Miles.

Miles quickly glanced at it, then shoved it into his bag. "Right," he said quickly. "Thanks."


	32. Why We Try

Sorry this chapter took awhile to post; I had a lot of schoolwork this week. This chapter is extra long, so hopefully that makes up for it a little. Thank you again for your feedback-- I'm trying really hard to keep Miles as in character as possible, but if you guys have specific instances where u feel he's OOC, that would really help me. Hope you guys are still enjoying the fic overall tho. Also I don't think Saad's youngest siblings' names or ages were mentioned on the show, so I'm just kinda using my own ideas here xx

 **Why We Try**

"Ready for this?"

Lola smiled wearily, buckling her seatbelt. "As ready as I'll ever be," she said to Miles. They were in his car on the way to babysit for Saad's littlest siblings-- his 3-year old brother Aimar, his 6-year old sister Sonia, and his one-year old brother Elias. They were both nervous; neither of them had ever really babysat before.

They pulled into the apartment complex and started to walk up to the top floor. Lola felt winded from walking even just a few steps. She groaned, stopping to take a deep breath. "You gonna be alright tonight?" Miles asked, rubbing her back.

"I think so," Lola wheezed. "I just won't be able to like, run around with the kids or anything." She clutched her stomach, feeling the baby wriggling around again.

"I wish I could just put you on my shoulders," Miles laughed. "That would make it so much easier to get up the stairs."

Lola shook her head, a horrified look on her face. "Don't even _think_ about trying that," she said, rubbing her belly.

When they finally made it to the front door, Saad greeted them. "Hey," he said, letting them in. "My parents just left around 20 minutes ago. Bedtime is nine o'clock. Their dinner is in Tupperware in the fridge, ready to be microwaved." He led them over to Elias, who was still fast asleep in his crib in the living room. "There's a bottle of formula for him in the fridge," he added.

"Thanks, Saad," Lola said, taking her coat off. She looked down at Aimar and Sonia, who were playing with Legos on the floor. "Hey guys," she said gently. "Remember me?"

Aimar stared at Lola. "Your tummy got _huge_!" he said, giggling with Sonia.

" _Aimar_ ," Saad scolded him. "Be _nice_."

Lola just laughed. "We'll be fine, Saad," she said. "See you at eleven."

"Yeah, see you," Miles muttered. He still felt awkward knowing that Lola and Saad had dated not too long ago.

Saad shut the door behind him, leaving Miles and Lola alone with the kids. They all just stared at each other for a second. "Um, so," Miles said, "are you guys hungry?"

Sonia nodded. " _Starving_."

"Then let's heat up your dinner," Lola smiled, waddling over to the fridge. She pulled out the Tupperware of food Saad had left for them-- green beans and pasta with some sort of creamy white sauce.

Aimar frowned when Lola handed them their plates. "I don't want this stuff."

"Oh, come on," Lola said. "It's yummy." In reality, the smell made her queasy, but the kids didn't need to know that.

"Yeah," Miles chimed in. "Look at your sister. She's eating it."

Aimar slammed his fork on the table. " _No_!" he pouted. "Want cookies."

Lola laughed. "You can't have cookies for dinner," she said. She picked up a spoonful of the meal and put it near Aimar's face. "Just try a bite. Come on, open wide."

Aimar shook his head. "Want _cookies_ ," he said, crossing his arms.

"Can we have chips-a-hoy?" Sonia asked, poking at her food and frowning. "Amma keeps some in the cupboard."

Lola sighed, losing her patience. "No, of course you can't have-"

But Miles interrupted. "Okay, fine," he said, reaching for a package of cookies in the cupboard. "If you eat some of your dinner afterwards." He handed them each two cookies. Aimar cheered.

Lola glared at him. " _Miles."_

Miles just blinked at her. "What?" he shrugged. "If it gets them to eat, why not?"

"You can't just reward them for whining!" Lola snapped. "We don't even know if they're allowed to have sweets."

"Can we play a game?" Aimar asked, his face covered in chocolate.

Lola sighed, turning away from Miles. "What do you want to play?" she asked, trying to smile still.

"Cops and robbers?" Sonia suggested.

Lola smoothed her hand over her stomach. "I don't think I can run that much," she said. "How about we play with your Legos instead?"

"Okay!" Aimar said, leaping from his chair.

"Aimar, you didn't finish your dinner," Lola tsked. But Miles was already playing Legos with the kids. "Oh, fine," she sighed, joining them in the living room. She checked on Elias-- he was still fast asleep. She sat down on the floor next to Sonia. She massaged her swelling belly, which was almost as big as Aimar.

Sonia looked at her curiously. "Can I feel your baby?" she asked.

Lola smiled. "Sure," she said, letting Sonia run her hands all over her belly. The baby started kicking again a little.

"Wow," Sonia gasped, feeling the movement.

Aimar put his Legos down. "How did you get a baby inside you?"

"Um," Lola stammered. She glanced at Miles awkwardly, looking for help.

"Hey, who wants to help me build the biggest tower _ever_?" Miles jumped in, dumping more Legos on the floor.

"Me!" Aimar cried. Lola let out a sigh of relief. She and Miles looked at each other and laughed under their breath.

Just then though, Elias woke up. Lola rushed over to his crib and lifted him out. She cradled the crying baby in her arms, bouncing him up and down trying to calm him. "Shh, baby," she whispered soothingly. "Shh, it's okay." But he only cried harder. Lola looked at Miles, who had barely looked up from playing Legos with the kids. "Uh, a little _help_ here?"

Miles looked up. "Oh, uh, right," he sputtered. "Saad said there was formula in the fridge." He ran over and grabbed the bottle.

Lola took the crying baby over to the couch. She really needed to sit down for a second.

"Here," Miles offered, taking Elias from her. "Let me try." He awkwardly held the baby and tried to bottle feed him. Lola sighed. He was holding him all wrong.

"You have to sit him up when you're feeding him," Lola said, the baby's cries growing louder and louder. "You can't lean him back like that." She took Elias back, tsking.

Miles frowned. "Well, so _rry_ ," he grumbled.

Lola rolled her eyes, struggling to balace Elias against her huge tummy. "Come on, baby," she cooed. "Take the bottle." Elias refused, crying even louder.

"He won't stop crying," Sonia whined, covering her ears.

Lola passed Elias back to Miles. Miles cradled him back and forth. "It's not working," he cried, increasingly more frustrated.

Lola sighed, picking up the bottle. "Open wide," she tried. But the baby just kept screaming.

It went on like that for fifteen more minutes. Lola and Miles passed Elias back and forth, cradled him, sang to him-- nothing worked.

Finally, Lola had had enough. "I should call Saad," she said, getting up.

" _What_?" Miles shouted over the screaming baby. "Why?"

"Because he won't stop crying!" Lola shouted back. Aimar and Sonia groaned, covering their ears.

"No," Miles said, rocking Elias back and forth. "If you call him, he's going to think we suck at this."

Lola dialed Saad's number. "Well, we're doing such a bang-up job on our own," she groaned. She waited for Saad to answer, clutching her stomach. The baby was kicking away, probably tired of all the screaming.

Lola explained the situation to Saad and he rushed home. By the time he finally got there, Elias had settled down and was sleeping in Miles' arms.

Saad gently took his littlest brother from Miles. "He's fine," he whispered. He laughed. "I think he was probably just gassy."

Lola sighed. "We're going to be parents of the year," she muttered sarcastically.

Saad shrugged. He put Elias back in his crib. "It's alright," he reassured them. "Elias is a tough baby. He's always been really colicky."

"Can we have more chips-a-hoy?" Aimar piped up.

Saad looked at Miles and Lola. "No," he said to his brother, "you know you're not supposed to have any unless Amma says it's okay."

"Sorry," Lola winced at Saad.

Saad sighed. "It's okay," he said, tired. "Thanks for babysitting." He walked them out the door and said goodbye, reassuring them that they had done fine.

When Lola and Miles were finally alone, she just looked at him and sighed worriedly. _How could they handle this on their own?_


	33. Wide Awake

Glad the last chapter was well-received. Some interesting stuff coming up... xx

 **Wide Awake**

And then, just like the seasons, everything subtly started to change that June. The end of the school year was approaching. Everyone was restless, waiting for graduation, for summer, for change. Lola, on the other hand, was stuck between two places. She was about a month from her due date-- half of her really wanted the baby to be born already; the other half wanted to freeze time.

One afternoon after school, she stared at the baby's side of her bedroom. She ran her fingers through the basinnet mobile, just taking it all in. "Everything's ready, baby," she whispered, rubbing her enormous belly. She sighed. "Except for me."

There was a knock at the door. "Miles," Lola said, surprised to see him, "What are you doing here?"

"Um," Miles stammered, almost laughing. "Your doctor's appointment?"

Lola couldn't believe she'd forgetten. " _Oh_ ," she said, flustered. "Right. Duh." She grabbed her purse and then got into Miles' car.

They were quiet most of the ride there. Babysitting for Saad's siblings had instilled some fear in both of them. It was a reality check, especially for Lola, of how difficult having a real, live human baby was.

Miles picked up on Lola's nervousness. "Do you want to stop at a drive-thru or something?" he asked. "I can grab you some food if you want."

Lola tried to smile. "No thanks," she said quietly. "I'm not hungry."

"Since when?" Miles laughed.

Lola looked away from him, staring out the car window. "I don't know, okay?" she muttered. "I'm just not."

Miles stared at her for a second, then just shook his head. "Okay," he shrugged. "Just thought I'd offer."

And then, something inside Lola snapped. "Did you know that only _50 percent_ of teen moms graduate from high school?" she blurted out. "And that less than 2 percent have a college degree by age 30?"

Miles pulled into the doctor's office parking lot. "Whoa," he said, caught off guard. "Where's all this coming from?"

Suddenly, Lola started to tear up. These feelings of doubt and insecurity had been building up in her for awhile now, especially after their failed attempt at babysitting. "The baby's coming in a _month_ ," she cried, suddenly sobbing. "And we don't have a clue what we're doing. God Miles, we couldn't even handle _babysitting_."

Miles just looked exhausted. "Hey, hey, easy," he whispered, squeezing her hand. "It's gonna be okay."

Lola only cried harder. "But what if it's not?" she said. "What if we can't handle it? What if we're awful parents?"

Miles sighed. He loved Lola. He did. But he was getting tired of all the moodiness, the complaining, the weird cravings he had to tend to 24/7. "Look," he said, rubbing her hand reassuringly. "You're eight months pregnant. You're probably just... hormonal."

Lola looked at him like he'd just slapped her in the face. "Wrong answer, Miles," she muttered. She got out of the car, slamming the door behind her.

Miles slammed his first against the steering wheel. _Great._

"Lola!" he called, running after her in the parking lot. " _Lola_! Slow down!"

Lola kept walking. " _Sorry_ ," she said. "Wouldn't want to _burden_ you with all my raging hormones."

Miles caught up to her. "You know that's not what I meant," he sighed. "But look, this is hard for me too, okay? I mean... I'm trying so hard to be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect father." He took a deep breath. "I gave up everything for this baby."

Lola was still crying. "We both did," she said quietly. She hugged him suddenly. "I'm sorry, Miles. I'm just... scared," she admitted.

Miles could barely hug Lola back, her belly in the way. "I know," he whispered, his voice gentler now. "I know."

They walked into the doctor's office and checked into Lola's appointment. Lola laid down on the exam table while she waited for the doctor, reading all the posters in the room. She stared at a poster labeled "pregnancy stages," eying the third trimester chart. According to the poster, the baby could now see and hear and its lungs were almost fully developed. Lola couldn't believe they were already at this point-- it seemed like just yesterday she was trying to buy a pregnancy test without running into anyone from school.

"Okay, Lola," the doctor said. She glanced at Miles, then looked at her chart. "And uh, Miles. Today we're just going to check up on your baby and go over some of the details for delivery."

Lola and Miles both gulped. _Delivery_. God. The only thing scarier than pregnancy was giving birth. "Will it hurt a lot?" Lola asked, wincing.

The doctor pressed her stethoscope to Lola's stomach. "Well," she said, "Honestly, probably." She pressed the stethoscope down a second time just to double check the heartbeat. "But there are things you can do to make it less painful. Some women opt for epidurals. And there are classes you can take to learn how to breathe easier. Have you taken any Lamaze classes?"

Lola glanced at Miles. They hadn't even thought to do that. "Er, no," she admitted.

The doctor had Lola sit up so she could take some more measurements. "I can refer you to some, if you'd like," she said. She paused, looking at Lola's blood pressure.

Miles waited for the doctor to say something else. "Is something wrong?" he asked worriedly, noticing her pause.

The doctor jotted something down on her notepad. "Your blood pressure is a little high," she said. She glanced at her charts. "I'm not too concerned, but I'm going to recommend modified bed rest for the rest of your pregnancy."

Lola sat up straight, suddenly worried. "Modified bed rest?" she asked, her voice slightly panicked. "What's that?"

The doctor scrimbled something else down. "It means you need to take it easy," she explained. "You don't need to stay in bed all day, but I don't want you on your feet much. No school. No work. No chores."

Lola clutched her stomach, exchanging worried glances with Miles. "Is... is the baby okay?" she cried.

The doctor nodded calmly. "Baby seems fine," she assured them. "But I'd like to reduce any possible labor complications. I can write you a note for school if you need one."

Lola sighed, letting all of this sink in. So she'd be starting summer a few weeks earlier than everybody else. No prom. No going to Miles' graduation. No lounging around the pool area with Frankie and Shay.

"It's fairly common," the doctor tried to reassure them. "You and your baby will be fine."

Miles squeezed Lola's hand. "Everything is going to be fine," he said, trying to sound calm. Lola didn't say anything, but squeezed back.

"So," the doctor continued, "are you two planning on keeping the baby after you deliver? Or were you pursuing adoption?"

"We're keeping it," Miles said right away. He looked to Lola, waiting for her to agree.

Lola took a deep breath. "Yeah," she said, forcing a smile. She smoothed her hand over her stomach. "That's... that's always been the plan."

The doctor nodded. "I'd be happy to refer you to a pediatrician," she said. "And there are support groups in the area for teen parents as well."

Lola gulped. As she felt the baby kick, her head felt like it was spinning at a million miles an hour, everything finally sinking in. Bed rest. Pediatrician. _Teen parents_. _She wanted the baby_ , she tried to tell herself. _She was making the right choice keeping it._ But there was a sinking feeling in her that she just couldn't shake.


	34. Say Something, I'm Giving Up On You

The story continues... I needed to stir up some drama and not make things too easy for Mola, but don't worry _too_ much xx

 **Say Something, I'm Giving Up On You**

Miles sat in history class doodling in his notebook. He was pretending to pay attention to Perino's lecture, but all he could think about was Lola. It was strange not seeing her at school every day and he was worried about her and the baby. Something didn't seem right at that last doctor's appointment-- she sounded scared, hesitant. It was keeping him up at night.

There was something else that was eating at him too, a guilty secret-- he had met with the London Academy admissions woman last week. He didn't tell Lola about it. He had absolutely no intentions of actually _going_ to the school; he would never abandon his child like that. But, for reasons he couldn't quite explain, he just really needed to know if he was good enough to get in. If his writing was still worth pursuing. He knew it was selfish of him to even take the meeting, but he just really needed to know if he was a good enough writer.

"Mr. Hollingsworth," Perino said, looking at Miles annoyedly. "Are you listening?"

Miles looked up from his drawing. "Er, yes, sir," he stammered.

Perino crossed his arms. "Care to repeat what I just said to the class, then?"

Miles just sat there. _Crap._

"Thought so," Perino sighed. He walked up to Miles' desk and grabbed his notebook. He stared at the doodle. "That's a very nice baby you drew there," he said. "But do it _outside_ of class."

Miles' face turned a scarlett red. The class all laughed at him-- except Zoe, who rolled her eyes at Perino and shrugged at Miles sympathetically, and Tristan, who just stared out the window silently.

The bell rang and Miles gathered his things, eager to get out of there. Zoe ran up to him. "Hey," she said. "Are you okay? I heard about Lola."

Miles took a deep breath, following her out the door. "Yeah, yeah, I'm alright," he muttered. "The baby's fine, just... high blood pressure or something. Just a precaution, I guess."

Zoe nodded, sighing. Even just looking at him, she could tell Miles was on the edge.

Just then, Tristan walked out of the classroom. "Oh," he said quietly, not looking at Miles. "I was wondering where you went, Zoe."

Zoe took a deep breath, forcing a smile. "Well, take of care of yourself, Miles," she said. "I'm sure Lola and the baby will be fine." She started to walk down the hall, waiting for Tristan to join her.

But Tristan didn't follow her. "Uh, actually, I'll catch up with you in a minute," he said.

Miles' heart pounded as Tristan turned to him. The two of them hadn't spoken since their hallway confrontation a couple of months ago. "What... what's up?" Miles asked anxiously.

Tristan sighed. "Just... wanted to see if you're okay, I guess," he said awkwardly. "You've been kinda out of it in class."

Miles shook his head. "Yeah, well, my girlfriend's about to have a baby," he said. "Of course I'm "out of it."" He paused. "Wait, why do you care, anyway?"

Tristan shrugged. "I just do." He took a deep breath, looking like he was about to add something else, but just went quiet.

Miles just stared at him. "Um, okay," he said, still confused. He wiped the sweat off his forehead. "So uh, are you graduating with our class? I wasn't sure, you know, with the rehab and all."

"Sort of," Tristan said. "I get an honorary diploma at the ceremony, but I still have to do summer school."

Miles nodded. "Oh," he said, still feeling weird about this whole conversation.

"Well," Tristan said, turning to leave, "I'll see you around, Miles."

"Yeah," Miles muttered. "See you... Tris."

That afternoon, Lola laid on her couch waiting for Miles to drop by and bring her her schoolwork. She was doing some assignments at home so she could still get credit for the rest of the semester. She didn't mind the work too much-- there were only two more weeks left of the school year, anyway. But she missed being at school with everybody else. And, as much as she tried to ignore it, there was still a little voice in her head fueling her doubts about keeping the baby. She felt guilty even just thinking it, but lately she worried if she could really, truly handle being a teen mom.

She took a deep breath, feeling the baby wriggle around again. "What?" she said, massaging her stomach. "Are _you_ bored too?" She grabbed her phone and put on _5 Seconds of Summer_ 's latest album, placing the headphones on her belly. Some mom's had their babies listen to Mozart in the womb-- Lola just wanted to make sure hers developed good music taste.

Just then, Miles came into the living room. Lola had given him a spare key so she didn't have to get up from the couch to let him in. "Hey," he said, giving her a peck on the cheek. "How you feeling?"

Lola scooted over a tiny bit so he could join her on the couch. "Okay," she said. She slid the headphones off and rested her hands on her stomach. She could barely see Miles over her belly. "A little queasy. How was school?"

Miles slid Lola's socks off and massaged her feet-- a foot rub was always a guaranteed way to make her feel better. "School was fine," Miles said. He didn't see a point in mentioning his conversation with Tristan.

Suddenly, his phone went off. An email popped up on his lock screen. It was from the London Academy. Miles' heart nearly stopped when he read the subject line-- _congratulations_ _on your acceptance_.

Lola looked up at him. "Miles?" she asked, noticing his sudden change in facial expression. "Miles, what is it?"

Miles quickly put his phone down. "It... it's nothing," he lied. He was still in shock.

"It's not _nothing_ ," Lola insisted. She grabbed his phone off the table.

"Lola, don't--"

But Lola had already seen the email. Her face dropped. "You... you got in."

Miles sighed, taking his phone back. "It's not what you think."

Lola sat up, looking like she was about to cry. "You didn't even tell me you applied," she said, sounding hurt.

"I... I took... a _meeting_ ," Miles said quietly. He took a deep breath. "I'm not going, Lola. I was never going to go. I just... I just wanted to know if I was good enough to get in." He bit his lip. "I know it was selfish of me to--"

Lola cut him off. "I'm holding you back," she murmured, crying now.

Miles stared at her. "Wha... what?"

Lola clutched her stomach, tears streaming down her face. "The only reason you're staying behind is because of this baby," she said. "I'm holding you back from your dream, from all your goals--"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Miles said, holding her hand. "You're not holding me back. This is my choice to stay here. I wouldn't abandon our baby." He squeezed her hand. "And I'm not _just_ staying for the baby. I'm staying for you too. I love you."

Lola didn't say anything.

Miles looked at her worriedly. "Lola?"

Lola took a deep breath. She didn't want to say these words, but she was going crazy keeping the thought to herself. "What if," she gulped, "what if... keeping the baby is the wrong choice?"

Miles let go of her hand. "What are you saying?"

Lola took another deep breath. "I'm saying... what if... we... if we gave the baby up?"

The room went dead silent for a minute. Neither of them moved. Lola just sat there, holding back tears as she felt the baby kick.

"I... I cannot _believe_ what I'm hearing," Miles said, his face turning hot. "You want us to just _abandon_ our child?"

Lola sat there frozen at the mention of the word "abandon." She thought about her own mom and how much pain her leaving had caused. All the nights Lola cried herself to sleep, wondering why she wasn't good enough for even her own mom to stick around. Her mom had broken her heart before any boy had. But, she told herself, this was different. She didn't want to _abandon_ her kid, she just wanted it to grow up in the best possible home. And maybe that was something she just couldn't offer, not at sixteen.

But at the same time, she thought as she held her stomach, she had grown attached to this baby. And so had Miles.

"I... I don't know," she said shakily. "Adoption is just something I had... I had been thinking about..."

"And you couldn't have decided this _eight months_ ago?" Miles said angrily. "Lola, I gave up my _life_ for this baby, and now you're telling me you want to just _give it away_ to _strangers_?"

Lola only sobbed harder. "I don't _know_ , okay?" she cried. "I don't know if I can _do this_ , Miles!"

Miles got up off the couch. "I can't handle this right now," he said. He shook his head, catching his breath. "I'll... I'll call you later, okay?" He stormed out and slammed the door behind him, leaving Lola sobbing on the couch.


	35. Shattered

Okay, I feel like a lot of you are going to be upset by this chapter (it upset me to write it honestly), but please just keep reading... You'll see... xx

 **Shattered**

Something inside Lola snapped. She ran out the door, tears streaming down her face. She knew she couldn't walk far-- doctor's orders and all. But the doctor _had_ said it was okay for her to get out of bed. She just had to get out of the house, just for a minute. She couldn't stand to be alone with her thoughts any longer.

She walked towards the direction of the Dot, not looking for anything or anyone in particular. She just needed to escape, just for a minute.

Just as she was crossing the street, someone in a hoodie whizzed past her on a bike, nearly crashing into her. "Hey!" she shouted. "Watch where you're going."

The guy stopped, getting off his bike. Lola gasped as he took off his hood.

"Saad," she whispered.

"Lola," he said, surprised to see her. "Lola, are you okay?" He caught his breath. "What are you doing out? I thought you were on bed rest or--"

" _Modified_ bed rest," Lola corrected him, holding her stomach.

Saad stared at her face, noticing her red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly. "Lola, why are you crying?"

Lola sighed. "Do you wanna go sit somewhere?"

They walked across the street to a nearby park. Lola joined Saad on an empty park bench, catching her breath. God, what was she thinking, running from the house like this? she thought to herself. _She could be putting the baby in danger._ But, she assured herself, she was sitting down now at least. There was nothing wrong with simply being outside. Besides, if she didn't tell _someone_ what was going on, she would go crazy.

Saad looked at her, his eyes concerned. "So, are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked quietly.

Lola stared at the playground in front of them. Two small boys, no older than three or four, chased each other around. A little girl went down the slide, laughing and shrieking. In the distance, a baby wailed.

She took a deep breath. "I told Miles I was having second thoughts about keeping the baby," she finally said, struggling to even get the words out. "And he... he didn't take it too well."

Saad was quiet for a second. "Oh," he said. "That's... I thought you had your mind made up."

Lola bit her lip, blinking back tears. "So did I," she sighed. "I love this baby, Saad. I _do_. But I just felt like maybe I was holding both of us back, and after we screwed up babysitting, I--"

"Wait," Saad said. "You didn't screw up at babysitting. I told you, my brother's colicky."

Lola sighed. "I know," she said. "But it just kind of hit me how _hard_ it is to take care of a baby." She started to cry again. God, she must have cried about a million times throughout this pregnancy. "I just don't know what to do," she whispered.

Saad scooted in closer to her. He took a deep breath. "Well," he said gently, "I think you should just... follow whatever's in your heart." He smiled a little.

Lola smiled back. "Yeah," she said, staring back into his eyes. She sighed. "I kind of miss this, you know? Talking to you."

Saad nodded. "Me too," he said quietly. Without thinking, they leaned in close to each other. They looked at each other for a moment, then Saad leaned in even closer and brushed his lips against hers, slowly kissing. She kissed him back, only for a second, but then immediately backed away. "Oh my god," she said, realizing what she'd just done. "Oh my _god_."

Saad scooted away from her. "Lola, I-- I'm sorry," he cried. "I didn't mean for that to happen, I--"

Lola stood up, not looking at him. "I-- I can't do this," she said, flustered. "I need to find Miles."

Saad sighed. "Let me give you a ride, at least," he said. "You shouldn't be walking so mu--"

" _No_ ," Lola cut him off. She sprinted back towards her house. "I need to see Miles. This... this never happened, okay?"

She walked away as fast as she could, trying not to strain herself. Tears streamed down her face. She couldn't believe what had just happened, what she had just done to Miles. When she was far away enough from the park, she pulled out her phone and ordered an Uber to Miles' house. She had to see him.

When she finally got there, it was Hunter who answered the door. Lola groaned. _Great._

"Whoa," Hunter said, surprised to see Lola's crying. "Are you okay?" He stood there uncomfortably. "Is this like, a pregnancy thing or something? Because I don't really know how to deal with hormones."

Lola pushed Hunter aside and went inside the Hollinsworth house. "No, Hunter," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "I just need to see your brother. Where... where is he?"

"Upstairs," Hunter said. "He came home and locked himself in his room. He seemed upset about something." Hunter paused. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be on like, bed rest or something?"

Lola groaned, not wanting to explain. "Never mind that," she sighed, walking past him and up the stairs. She knocked on Miles' door, her heart pounding along.

Miles was surprised to see her. "Lola," he said. Lola could tell he'd been crying.

Lola just hugged him, sobbing into his chest. "Miles, I'm so _sorry_ ," she cried. She looked up at him. "I'm still confused about the baby, and I don't know what I'm feeling, but it was totally unfair me to just drop the bomb on you like that, and--"

Miles sighed. "It's okay," he mumured, rubbing her back. "It's okay." He took a step back, taking a deep breath. "If-- if adoption is something you seriously want to consider, maybe we-- we should discuss it."

Lola wiped her eyes. "I don't know anymore," she said, clutching her stomach. As she looked at Miles, her mind flashed back to their year together, to the very beginning. She remembered how magical everything felt-- their first conversation in the hallway, their goofy oomfchats, the first time they kissed, the night the baby was conceived. It had all happened so fast.

Miles squeezed her hand. "We can handle anything," he whispered. "Right?"

But the guilt was eating away at Lola. She stared into his caring eyes. She loved him so much. Too much to lie to him. "Miles," she cried. "I kissed Saad."

Miles slowly let go of her hand. Lola waited for him to say something, but he just stood there, shocked.

"Miles," she said, sobbing. "Please say something."

Miles just shook his head. "What do you want me to say, Lola?" he said, his voice suddenly like ice.

Lola stared at him, her heart feeling like it was shattering into a million pieces. "Miles, I... I'm so sorry," she whispered. She tried to grab his hand. "I _love_ you."

Miles turned away. "I think you should go," he said.

"Miles," Lola cried. "What are you saying?"

Miles took a deep breath, not looking at her. "I'm saying," he said, barely getting the words out, "that I'll be there when the baby is born. And I'll be there for the baby, if you decide to keep it." He sighed. "But for right now... you and I... I can't do this, Lola." He sounded heartbroken.

Lola turned away and rushed down the stairs. She ran outside and sat on the sidewalk. As she waited for a ride, she ran her hands over her belly and sobbed. If she was broken before, she was absolutely shattered now.


	36. Never Gonna Give You Up

Yikes, that last chapter was so painful to write. Don't worry too much though, everyone... Also, Lola is about nine months here xx

 **Never Gonna Give You Up**

The following Monday, Miles stood in the nursery just looking at everything. It was killing him to see the baby's stuff every day-- it was like the nursery was taunting him, a constant reminder that he'd _almost_ had his perfect little family. _Almost_.

Fed up with everything, he ripped the mobile from the crib and threw it against the wall. He kicked the crib, furious at everything-- at the world, at Lola, at himself.

"Miles!" Frankie cried, rushing into the nursery. "What are you _doing_?"

"Oh, who cares about any of this crap!" Miles said, not looking at his sister. "None of this even matters because Lola and I aren't together and she might not even want the baby anymore."

Frankie sighed. "You don't know that for sure, okay?" she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Lola's just... overwhelmed right now. She's _scared,_ Miles." She shook her head. "And you dumping her when she's almost nine months pregnant doesn't exactly help."

Miles stared at Frankie, not believing what he was hearing. He knew Lola was her best friend, but Frankie was his sister. She should be on _his_ side. "In case you've forgetten," he scoffed, " _she's_ the one who kissed another guy behind my back."

"She told me what happened," Frankie said. "She was really upset about the fight you guys had and _Saad_ was the one who initiated the kiss." She bit her lip. "I mean, at least she told you about it right away."

Miles just shook his head. "Forget it, Frankie," he muttered angrily. "You don't understand what I'm dealing with here."

Frankie sighed. "Have you even seen her since the breakup?"

"Uh... not exactly," Miles admitted. He called her twice a day to check on the baby, but he hadn't gone over to her place since.

Frankie rolled her eyes. "Well, come on," she said. "Let's get to school. Only a few more days til your graduation."

Miles sighed. "You go on without me," he said. "I think I'm going to skip today."

"Fine," Frankie said, walking out the door. She turned back for second. "But if Simpson asks, I'm not covering for you."

"Right," Miles muttered. He wasn't going to just sit around at home all day, he decided. He was going to finally go see Lola. He at least owed her that.

Meanwhile, Lola laid on her couch at home, just feeling the baby move around. She'd tried researching adoption agencies this morning, but every time she clicked on a website she started crying. Giving the baby up wouldn't be any easier than keeping it, she was realizing. This wasn't something she could solve with a simple pros and cons list-- this was something she had to follow her heart on. And, at the moment, she didn't know where her heart was at.

She reached into her purse and opened up her wallet, pulling out the ultrasound picture from her sixth month checkup. She stared at the image of the baby, tracing her fingers over it. _Her_ baby, she thought to herself. The baby she and Miles had made-- their son or daughter. She sighed. Even if she did give the baby up, there's no way she wouldn't spend every day for the rest of her life thinking about him or her. It was surreal to her that in just a few weeks, she would be holding him or her in her arms, hearing it cry, seeing if it looked more like her or Miles. She set the picture down on the table, massaging her belly. And this was Miles' baby too, she reminded herself. What if she did go through with adoption, but he wouldn't sign the papers? What if he wanted to keep the baby himself? Lola couldn't live with that, knowing their baby was right down the street and without a mom. There was just no easy answer.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Lola groaned. " _Coming_ ," she called, clutching her belly and trying to get up. But then the door opened without her.

Lola looked up, stunned to see Miles standing there. "What are you doing here?" she asked, lying back into the couch. It was a struggle for her to move at all nowadays.

Miles walked into the living room carrying a paper bag. "I uh, brought you some takeout," he said. "Cheese quesadilla." He tried to smile. "Your favorite."

Lola scooted over so he could sit next to her on the couch. "Oh, um, thanks," she said, taking the bag of food. "That was really nice of you."

Miles took a deep breath, barely making eye contact. "And I just... wanted to check in, I guess," he said quietly. "Make sure you and the baby are alright."

"We're fine," Lola nodded, rubbing her stomach. Miles noticed her belly had gotten even bigger in the last week, if that was even possible.

Miles sat there quietly for a minute, then finally spoke up. "Look," he said. "If you... if you wanna give the baby up, I-- I won't stop you."

Lola sighed. "Thank you, Miles," she said whispered, sitting up. She stared into his eyes. "But honestly, I don't know that I can go through with that either." She glanced at the ultrasound picture on the coffee table.

Miles nodded. "Well, whatever you decide," he said, hand on her belly. "I'd just really like to be there when he... or she... is born."

Lola put her hand on top of his. "Of course," she said. She looked away. "Miles," she said, closing her eyes. "I'm so sorry about what happened." She took a deep breath, holding back tears. "For what I did."

Miles didn't look at her, but nodded. "I know," he said sadly. He squeezed her hand. "I know."


	37. The Shower

Okay, so kinda gave up on using song names for chapters because I'm really running out of them lol. Please keep writing reviews; they really make my day!! Especially long comments. This chapter is a bit lighter. Getting close... xx

 **The Shower**

Early that Friday evening, Lola laid on the couch watching _The Notebook_. She was still heartbroken over her breakup with Miles and the fact that tonight was prom night only made it worse. Ever since freshman year, she and Frankie and Shay had obsessed over what dresses to wear, how to do their hair, the boys they would take as their dates. Real life, as it turned out, had other plans.

She glanced through her text messages. There were three from Miles asking how she was feeling, making sure there were no signs of early labor or anything. They hadn't discussed their breakup much-- Lola had apologized repeatedly, told him she loved him, that he was the only one for her, but nothing changed. And it wasn't just because of the kiss with Saad, Lola knew. She had built a wall between them by bringing up the idea of adoption and no mater how hard Lola tried to get around it, they just remained stuck. He hadn't stopped loving her, Lola could tell. But, she was realizing, just because he loved her, it didn't mean he wanted to be with her-- at least, not right now.

She hadn't talked to Saad since their kiss. He had texted her several times apologizing, but she didn't feel like replying. Right now, the only things she really cared about were the baby and Miles. She was due in three weeks, which honestly scared the hell out of her. But, she was also eager to finally meet their baby.

Her dad had stepped out of the house for a couple of hours, which made her nervous. She didn't like to be alone nowadays, just in case the baby came early or something went wrong. Her dad had been a lot more caring lately, though. He still wasn't happy about the pregnancy, but Lola was his daughter and he wanted to make sure she was okay. He wouldn't let her help with anything around the house-- no dishes, no laundry, no cleaning her room. If it weren't for the giant elephant in her stomach that made it impossible for her to move, it would have felt like a vacation.

Suddenly, the door opened. Lola nearly jumped off the couch-- the only person who had a key besides her dad was Miles, and he always knocked first. "Surprise!" several voices shouted. Lola was stunned as Frankie, Shay, Yael, Maya, Zoe, Grace, Goldi, and Rasha all came into the living room. They were all in their prom dresses-- except for Yael, who wore a tux-- and carrying gift bags and plates of food.

"What are you guys doing here?" Lola cried, sitting up.

"Oh, come on," Frankie said. "You really think we would let you go without a baby shower?"

Lola couldn't help but smile. She couldn't believe they did this for her. "But," she said, "don't you all have prom?"

"Prom doesn't start for four more hours," Maya said. "We've got plenty of time to get there later."

"And," Zoe added, "that's why we made this shower prom themed." She handed Lola a little tiara.

Lola put the tiara on and smiled. "I-- I don't know what to say," she said, almost tearing up.

Shay handed her a pink gift bag. "We know you haven't made up your mind about the baby yet," she said. "So none of these gifts are baby-themed."

Lola opened the bag and pulled out a bottle of hot pink nail polish and a copy of _Teen Vogue_. "Thank you so much," she said. She felt like bursting with happiness-- she couldn't remember the last time she felt this good.

"To keep you busy while you're stuck in bed," Frankie explained.

Maya handed her another bag. Lola pulled out a stuffed teddy bear. It was adorable-- pink with a little button nose. "That'll keep you company in the hospital," Maya said, smiling.

Lola opened a few more small gifts and then they all had some cake and ice cream and talked about prom and school and summer. It felt so good to be with everyone else; to be normal for a change.

"You know," Frankie said, sitting next to Lola and munching on her second slice of chocolate cake, "if you _do_ decide to keep the baby, I'm going to spoil it rotten."

Lola laughed. "I'm sure," she said, shaking her head.

"What?" Frankie said. "You don't think I could pull off being the cool aunt?"

"Do we get to be like, honorary aunts?" Maya asked.

"Guys, Lola hasn't made her decision about the baby yet," Yael reminded them. "Don't pressure her."

Lola sighed, smiling and pulling Frankie closer to her. "They're not," she reassured Yael. "No matter what happens, I'll always think of all of you as the baby's aunts." She paused. "And uh, whatever the gender neutral version of that is," Lola added to Yael, who just laughed.

Frankie leaned against Lola. "I just realized something," she said. "You never let me feel the baby kick."

Lola sat up a little bit. "Oh yeah," she said. "You're right." She rubbed her stomach, waiting for the baby to respond. The baby kicked softly-- it recognized Lola's voice and touch. "Go ahead," she said to Frankie.

Frankie put her hand on Lola's belly. "Wow," she said. "Yup, it's definitely Miles' kid if it's that hyper."

Lola's heart sank at the mention of Miles' name. "I miss him, Franks," she said sadly.

Frankie looked at Lola and smiled. "Whose idea do you think this was?"


	38. Your Green Light

Getting very close to the baby arriving! Assuming you guys are still interested, I'm planning on continuing the story even after the baby is born. I just love writing this story way too much haha. This is one of my favorite chapters actually-- it goes much more in depth to Miles' thoughts. Please keep reviewing!! :) xx

 **Your Green Light**

Later that night, Miles laid on his bed, his nose buried in his copy of _The Great Gatsby_. He'd read it for English class junior year, but he didn't realize how much the story really resonated with him until now.

 _The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly._

That's how Miles felt tonight as he stared at the night sky from his bedroom window. In a matter of weeks, he'd lost everything important to him-- Lola, possibly the baby... Lola. And it was his own damn fault, he knew. He thought he was justified in breaking up with her after she kissed Saad, but he was realizing more and more that it was really just an excuse for him to do what he did best-- leave when things got tough. He remembered Maya screaming at him in the courthouse during Zoe's trial sophomore year:

 _When things go wrong, you do the horrible thing, you do the ugly thing_!

He'd tried to change since then, prove he wasn't that guy anymore. But he'd sat by Tristan's bedside for over three months and where had that gotten him? He'd supported Lola throughout her entire pregnancy, he'd devoted his whole _life_ to that damn baby, and now she was just suddenly willing it to give it up? Maybe everyone was right-- maybe he did get bored quickly, have a wandering eye, run hot and cold in his relationships. But everyone else abandoned him just as easily. If they were going to leave anyway, why _shouldn't_ he just rip the bandaid off and save himself the heartbreak first?

" _Fuck_ ," he cried, tossing the book at the wall. He wanted to scream at the moon. He'd had everything he wanted and he'd fucked it all up. He _always_ fucked things up-- with Tristan, with Maya, with Esme, with his siblings, and now Lola. And his baby. Oh god, the _baby_. Miles couldn't even handle seeing babies when he was out in public anymore. Just the sight of them made his stomach drop; all he could think about was that he might not ever know his own child.

What if Lola gave the baby up and then one day when he was older he saw a little boy in the grocery store who looked like him? Or a baby girl at the park with his exact color eyes? He didn't want to pressure Lola into keeping it, but the idea of never knowing his son or daughter made him sick to his stomach. God, how could he handle seeing his baby for the first time, holding it in his arms, squeezing its tiny fingers, only to have it taken from him? He didn't think he could handle that.

It was almost funny-- when Lola had first told him she was pregnant, her voice shaky and the words barely coming out, it had felt like his world was ending. Although he would never tell Lola this, he hadn't wanted the baby at first, not one bit. But now, nine months later, this baby was his whole world. And, like Gatsby, all he could do was stare blankly as it fell apart.

Suddenly, there was a knock at his bedroom door. "Hey," Hunter said, walking into Miles' room.

"Hey," Miles said, surprised to see him home early. "What are you doing home already? I thought you were volunteering at prom and trying to talk to Yael."

Hunter shook his head, laughing slightly under his breath. "Yeah, well, I think I fucked that up," he murmured, staring down at the floor. He bit his lip. "Listen, do you still have... do you have any weed on you?"

Miles was surprised-- he never took his little brother for the stoner type. "No," Miles said, shaking his head. "I gave it up last year, after those pills."

"Damn," Hunter muttered.

Miles looked at his brother concerned, remembering that he was supposed to be more of a paternal figure now that their dad was gone. "Listen," he said. "Don't... don't get high just to numb the pain. I've been down that road, I don't want you to go down it too." Miles sighed. "You've got to deal with your feelings; you can't just numb them."

Hunter scoffed. "Where'd you get that spiel-- Ms. Grell?"

Miles laughed. "No, just trying to be a better older brother," he said.

Hunter shrugged. "Alright, well, I'm going to bed," he muttered, turning to leave.

"Hey, wait," Miles said. "It's still kind of early. You wanna... I don't know, maybe stay up and play video games together or something?"

Hunter smiled. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, why not," Miles added, grinning. It had been awhile since they spent any real time together.

They played "Call of Duty" until around 1 am, Hunter crushing Miles in every level. "Alright, I'm really going to bed this time," Hunter yawned. "See you in the morning for your graduation."

Miles nodded. "Alright," he said, feeling sleepy himself.

Hunter stopped for a second. "Miles?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," Hunter said.

Miles smiled. "Anytime," he said to his brother.

Hunter left and Miles took his shirt off and collapsed into bed, ready to call it a night. But just then, he heard a tapping at his window.

"What on earth.." Miles muttered, fumbling with the lights.

The window opened. Miles nearly screamed as a girl climbed out of it and into his bedroom.

"Esme!" he shouted. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Esme looked like a wreck. "Shit," she muttered. "I... I thought this was Frankie's room."

Miles groaned, looking for his shirt. "Frankie's room is over _there,"_ he said, pointing to his left. "And anyway, she isn't even home. Aren't you all supposed to be at prom?"

Suddenly, Esme started crying. "I-- I can't go back, Miles," she said frantically, suddenly holding onto him. "I can't go home either, I don't know what to do..."

Miles just stood there uncomfortably as she sobbed into his chest. "Hey, hey, easy," he said, trying to calm her down. "Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll be fine."

Esme wiped her eyes and looked up at Miles. "Can I stay here tonight?"

Miles pushed her off. "No way."

Esme only sobbed harder. " _Please_ ," she begged. "I literally have nowhere else to go." She looked at him with sad puppy dog eyes. "Just for one night? I'll sleep on the floor."

Miles gave in, too tired to argue. "Fine. _Just_ for tonight," he muttered, crawling back into bed. He tossed Esme a blanket and pillow.

"Thank you," Esme whispered. She laid down on the floor. "You know, we had some pretty fun times last year."

Miles rolled his eyes. "Esme, I don't even _remember_ half of junior year."

Esme sighed. "I know," she said quietly, her eyes still red from crying. "But still."

Miles flicked the light switch off. "Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight, Miles. Thank you."


	39. Graduation

Sorry I haven't updated for a few days! Should be back to semi-daily updates. Hope you guys are excited for the baby to get here! xx

 **Graduation**

The next morning, Miles laid in his bed staring at the ceiling, trying not to notice Esme's snoring. She had woken him up around three a.m. and claimed she couldn't get comfortable on the floor. He was too tired to argue, so he reluctantly let her join him in bed, hogging the blankets to himself and keeping as much of a distance between them as possible.

Suddenly, the door swung open. "OH MY GOD!"

Miles and Esme both sat up immediately. "Frankie," Miles said. "It's-- it's _not_ what you think."

Frankie just shook her head, looking at her older brother disapprovingly. "Oh really?" she said. "So I _didn't_ just walk in on you lying shirtless in bed next to another girl while your girlfriend is nine months pregnant and alone?"

"Lola and I are _broken up_ ," he reminded Frankie, gritting his teeth. "And anyway, _nothing happened._ Esme just needed a place to crash."

"Yeah," Esme agreed, yawning. "I may be a bitch, but I'm no homewrecker."

Frankie rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she said. "Just get dressed for graduation."

"Frankie," Miles said. "Please don't tell--"

"Lola?" Frankie said, on her way out the door. She sighed. "Don't worry. I'm not going to add any extra stress to her life." She left the door cracked open a tiny bit, adding, "Unlike _some_ people."

Miles hopped out of bed. Even though he and Esme hadn't hooked up-- and he was technically single-- he still felt gross. "You need to go," he barked at Esme.

Esme looked at him with puppy dog eyes. "What's the rush?" she said coyly. She smirked. "You know Hollingsworth, you and I have more in common than you think."

Miles snorted. "You got someone pregnant?"

Esme rolled her eyes, then leaned in closer to him. "Both abandoned by the people we love," she whispered. "We both give our all to the people we care about, only for them to rip our hearts out and stomp on them."

Miles moved away. "I am _not_ like you."

Esme just smiled. "Oh, little boy blue," she said. "I think you are."

Miles just sighed and slumped over on the bed, closing his eyes. It was bizarre that just over a year ago, he had spent nearly every day by Esme's side, just getting high and drunk and fucking shit up. Even though she felt like a stranger in his bed right now, he knew those lips, that body, like the back of his hand. It was weird to think they'd sort of dated, had sex even. He sat up for a minute. "Hey," he said, his face a bit more relaxed now, "did you _really_ have a threesome with my sister?"

Esme snorted. "No," she said, laughing. "That was just a rumor. Frankie thought it would make Jonah jealous, so we just went with it."

Miles let out a sigh of relief. He didn't like the idea of Esme hooking up with two Hollingsworth siblings-- that was too squicky even for him. " _Good_."

"Well," Esme said, opening up the window. "I'd better get going. To be continued, Hollingsworth?"

Miles just stared at her, suddenly forgetting how to speak. "Uhh, s--sure," he stammered. She climbed out the window, waving goodbye with a little mischievous grin.

Miles felt like screaming into his pillow. The last time he'd woken up next to a girl in his bed was with Lola, the morning after their baby was conceived. She'd looked so peaceful, angelic even, just sleeping there in his t-shirt. Miles hadn't wanted to wake her-- she just looked so happy, smiling in her sleep even. A memory of that morning flashed back in his head:

 _I'm not gonna get all clingy because you took my precious flower_.

 _Good, because we... we can't..._

 _Date? I know. Let's just enjoy... whatever this is._

 _Yeah... I'd like that._

Miles stared at his bed, the spot where Lola had once slept. In his heart, he knew no one else belonged in this bed with him-- not Esme, not Tristan... only Lola. He sighed, angry at himself all over again. He'd stolen her innocence in every sense, from her first time to getting her pregnant to breaking her heart. He didn't deserve her, he thought to himself. And, maybe, he wasn't meant to.

Just then, Frankie barged into his room again. "Why aren't you _dressed yet_?" she cried, acting like a mom fussing over him. "Graduation starts in an hour!"

Miles got out of bed and grabbed his graduation robes. "I'll be downstairs in ten minutes," he assured his sister. He sighed. "Frankie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for putting up with me," Miles said quietly.

Frankie shook her head, smiling. "Someone's got to." She paused. "Miles, do you think you and Lola will ever make up?"

Miles just sighed. "I don't know," he said. He took a deep breath. "I just want her to be happy."

Miles prepared to walk on stage, nervously waiting with his classmates. "Man, we _made it_ ," Winston said, high-fiving Miles.

"Yeah," Miles grinned. "I guess we did."

"Miles!" someone cried. "Got a second?"

Miles turned around and saw Tristan. "H--hey," Miles said cautiously, still a bit apprehensive about them suddenly getting along.

"Hey," Tristan said. "So, I heard you got into London Writers' Academy. Congratulations."

Miles looked down, smiling a little. "Yeah," he said. "I don't know if I'm going to go, though. It just depends, you know... on what Lola decides about the baby."

Tristan still looked uncomfortable at any mention of the baby. "It's your dream, isn't it?" he shrugged.

Miles sighed thoughtfully. At one point, yes, it had been his dream. But now... his dream was just to be with Lola, to be a good father, to have a real little family. "I've just gotta do whatever's best for my family," he said, smiling.

Tristan bit his lip. "Do you think we could ever..." He paused. "I don't know, talk sometime?"

Miles stared at him. After all these months, he suddenly wanted him back? His mind wandered back to last summer, when he'd spent every day by Tristan's bedside, yelling and pleading, _wake up, wake up, come back to me, Tristan_...

Miles hadn't been a perfect boyfriend, he knew. He had cheated, lashed out at him, even called him desperate and pathetic before. But Tristan never truly cared about him the way Lola had. Sitting by his bedside while he was in a coma all summer had sort of given Miles a chance to romantacize the relationship, to make it into an epic love story that it never truly was. Maybe Miles had just liked being needed, playing the role of caregiver to his sick boyfriend and acting all loving and patient. But, he knew, that wasn't true love, what he had with Tristan. It just wasn't.

"Maybe," he said quietly to Tristan. They went and took their seats.

A few minutes later, Simpson called Miles' name. "Miles Hollingsworth," he said, smiling. "Undecided."

Miles shook his principal's hand, beaming. It had been a rough ride, to say the least. He had made massive mistakes, broken people's hearts, lost himself... but he was here. And he'd made it.

As he stepped off the stage with his diploma, his mind wandered seventeen or eighteen years into the future, when his own son or daughter would be graduating. He could picture it now-- Lola would cry tears of joy and he would shake the kid's hand and tell them how proud he was and then pull them all into a family photo. That, right there, was his dream.


	40. Nerves

Back to Lola now! I had felt my commentary on the last chapter was too long to attach to this, so that's why I included a separate note this time (I deleted it later because I didn't want confusion on the chapters). Thank you again very much for your reviews, I really appreciate the long comments especially-- never hesitate to give me criticism, I love improving my writing! So totally keep reviewing please xx

 **Nerves**

A few days later, Lola jolted awake in bed drenched in a cold sweat. She'd had a nightmare that she had given birth to octuplets. In the dream, she couldn't keep track of all the babies or tell any of them apart. Lola had sobbed that she couldn't handle that many babies, but the nurse just shook her head and told her that she should have thought of that earlier. Then, all eight babies started to cry and scream at once.

She knew it was only a bad dream, but it freaked her out anyway. The baby was due in just over two weeks, which was terrifying enough. Still jittery, she reached over for her cell phone and called Miles.

"Lola? Is everything okay?" he answered groggily.

Lola glanced at her alarm clock-- oops. It was only 7:30 a.m. She'd probably woken him up. "There's no chance I could be having octuplets, right?" she cried.

Miles nearly snorted on the other line. " _What_?" he said, laughing.

"It's not funny," Lola insisted. "I had this dream where I went into labor, but babies just kept popping out, and..." She paused. "Oh god-- I'm crazy, aren't I?"

Miles was still laughing. "Just go back to sleep for awhile," he said, yawning. "I'll be by at noon to pick you up for your doctor's appointment."

Lola sighed. "Okay," she said, sinking back into her mattress. "Bye." She hung up.

It still felt strange to not end every phone call with "I love you" anymore. They were trying this whole just-platonic-friends approach out for the sake of the baby, but who were they kidding? Miles had said it himself-- they were never _just friends_.

Anyway, Lola tried to tell herself, she had more important things to focus on right now. She and Frankie and Shay had spent all afternoon yesterday on an adoption website looking at potential couples for the baby. But none of them seemed to fit what Lola had in mind.

"What about this one?" Shay or Frankie would suggest.

"No," Lola would protest, saying that they were too young or old, too weird-looking, too far away, too close.

Finally, Frankie turned to Lola. "Can I say something?"

Lola shrugged. "Sure," she said, staring at a picture of one of the couples and _tsk_ ing. The woman in the photo was wearing a sweater that hadn't been in style for at least ten years.

"Maybe," Frankie sighed, "maybe you don't like any of these couples because... because you don't actually want to give the baby up."

Lola just kept her eyes fixated on the computer screen, not making eye contact with Frankie. "I don't know yet," she muttered, running her hand across her stomach. She yawned, suddenly exhausted. "I should get back to bed,"she said, struggling to get up from the table. She clutched her belly, which was the size of a watermelon, and waddled like a duck over to her room with the help of Frankie and Shay. She hadn't gotten out of bed since.

Miles dropped by that afternoon to pick her up. As excited as Lola was to finally get out of the house, she was nervous for today's appointment. Given her high blood pressure, the doctor thought it was best to do one more ultrasound scan, just to be safe.

"Hey, it's okay," Miles tried to reassure Lola as they waited for the doctor to come in. He had picked up on her nervousness. "The doctor said the baby's fine. It's just a precaution."

Lola sighed, staring up at the ceiling as she laid on the exam table. "I know," she said quietly, massaging her stomach. "It's just-- I'm so scared about the delivery. I mean, I thought I'd be like 30 when I had my first baby, not 16."

"Yeah," Miles sighed. "I know." He was starting to get worried too. Lola was only in high school and she was tiny as it is-- what if her body couldn't handle childbirth? He had panicked a few nights ago and googled statistics about labor complications and dying in childbirth. But, he tried to assure himself, she and the baby were in good hands. His mother had made sure Lola was delivering at the best hospital in Toronto, with the best doctors possible.

The doctor finally came in. "Okay, Lola," she said calmly. "Ready for today's exam?"

Lola nodded, still looking tense. To Miles' surprise, she grabbed his hand and held it tightly as the doctor unrolled Lola's shirt.

Miles' eyes nearly popped out at the sight of Lola's massive belly. No wonder Lola complained about the kicks and being short of breath all the time-- there was no room anymore. He knew she was still technically a couple of weeks away from her due date, but the baby looked ready to come out now.

Lola looked at his shocked expression and laughed. "I warned you I would get fat."

"Alright," the doctor said, finishing hooking up a monitor. "Let's hear that heartbeat."

A loud rhythmic noise filled the room: _buh-_ _bum, buh-bum, buh-bum._

Lola couldn't help but smile. "Wow," she said, still holding Miles' hand. "That's strong."

The doctor nodded, smiling back. "That's good," she said, marking down something on her chart. "A strong, healthy heartbeat." She picked up the ultrasound scanner. "Now, let's check the baby's position." The doctor moved the scanner across Lola's tummy and the ultrasound screen lit up.

Lola started to cry again. It looked like even more of a real baby now, it's head and fingers and toes all crystal clear. It was just curled up in there, sucking its thumb. "Sorry," Lola excused herself, letting go of Miles' hand to wipe her eyes.

"That's alright," the doctor assured her. "I know it can be emotional."

"So... so, everything looks okay?" Miles piped up, staring at the image of their baby.

The doctor smiled. "I'd say the baby is healthy and should be here in just a couple of weeks." She clicked her pen. "Oh-- that's right. You need a pediatrician referal."

"Um," Lola said, "we're... we're not entirely sure if we're keeping it anymore. I've been talking with an adoption agency." It still pained her to say it. Even more so while looking at the baby.

"Oh," the doctor said. "Well, just let me know."

Lola sighed. "Can you just tell us one thing?"

The doctor looked up from her clipboard. "What's that?"

Lola looked at Miles, then back at the screen. "I wanna know if it's a boy or a girl," she said. She laughed softly. "I can't wait any longer."

Miles looked at her in confusion. "I thought you wanted it to be a surprise," he said.

Lola just shook her head. "Yeah, well," she said, taking a deep breath. "This pregnancy itself was enough of a surprise for me."

The doctor nodded. "Well," she said, smiling. "It's a girl."


	41. A Rainy Afternoon

I was planning on saving the gender reveal for when the baby was born, but I just really wanted to add something cute in the last chapter. Please keep reviewing! xx

 **A Rainy Afternoon**

Lola couldn't stop smiling as they got in the car. "I _knew_ it," she beamed, struggling to fit her seatbelt around her belly. "I just _knew_ it would be a girl."

Miles helped her click the seatbelt together and then started the car up. "So, I guess we have a daughter." He couldn't help but smile too.

Lola was glued to her phone, grinning and texting Shay and Frankie excitedly "it's a girl!!" with little pink balloon emojis. She sighed happily. "I can't wait to finally meet her," she said to Miles, still smiling.

"Me too," Miles said. He paused. "Wait," he said. "Does this mean-- are you thinking about--"

Lola sighed. "I still don't know if we should keep it... I mean-- _her_ ," she said quietly, her giddy expression suddenly gone. She ran her hands over her belly. "I just want whatever is best for her."

Miles was quiet as he pulled into Lola's driveway. "I'm sorry, you know," he said suddenly.

Lola just looked at him. "For what?"

Miles shook his head, taking a deep breath. "For... I don't know-- everything," he sighed. "For things being the way they are." He looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead he just stared at her longingly, the soft murmur of Johnny Cash playing on the radio in the background.

The gray sky above them turned darker, raindrops gently plopping against the dashboard of the car. "Let's get you inside," Miles said hurriedly, breaking his gaze.

Lola took a deep breath. "Wait," she said. "My dad's not home and I really hate being here alone. Do you wanna... I don't know... come in for awhile?" She shrugged her shoulders, giving Miles a small smile.

Miles nodded quietly. "Sure," he whispered, a little surprised. But there was no way he was going to say no.

Miles helped Lola settle onto the couch and he went into the kitchen to make her a cup of tea. On his way back, he nearly tripped over something. He picked up the object and realized it was a plastic baby doll. Someone had put a diaper over it.

"Oh, that," Lola said, noticing him holding the doll. "Yeah, I just... I just wanted to see if I was any good at diapering."

"Not bad," Miles said, chuckling. He smiled, thinking back to last year when he and Tristan had to take care of a fake baby for a school assignment.

He handed Lola the cup of tea and sat down next to her, still keeping a safe distance between the two of them. "Is there anything else I can get you?" he asked.

Lola took a sip of her tea. "I'm okay," she said, one hand on her belly. The baby's kicks had settled down. "I think she's asleep now."

"They nap in there?" Miles said. He hadn't really thought about that.

"Of course," Lola laughed. "Didn't you know that?"

Miles shrugged, looking embarrassed. "No," he admitted. "I guess I don't know much of anything." He sighed. "I just wish there was a way to let the baby know that I'm here."

"Why don't you try talking to her?" Lola suggested, scooting towards him.

Miles gave her a strange look. "What? Lola, that's weird."

Lola rolled her eyes. "It's not _weird_ ," she insisted. "Lots of people talk to their babies in the womb. She can hear everything we're saying."

"You're crazy," Miles laughed.

Lola just shrugged, not looking at him. "Fine," she said, scooting away from him.

"Okay, okay," Miles sighed. "I'll try it." He moved next to Lola and put his head near her belly. "Um... hey," he said to her bump awkwardly. "Hey, baby."

Lola couldn't help but laugh at his awkwardness. It was cute, in a way.

Miles shot her a look. "Do you _mind_?" He already felt ridiculous as it was-- he didn't need her to make fun of him too.

Lola tried to stop laughing. "Sorry, sorry," she said, still giggling. "Go ahead."

Miles sighed, shifting his eyes back to Lola's stomach. "So, um, I'm your dad," he said, still feeling self-conscious. He sighed. "I'm... I'm really excited to meet you soon." He glanced up at Lola, then back down. "No matter what happens, your mom and I just want you to have the best life possible." He bit his lip, stumbling on his words. "But, I'll... I'll always care about you. You'll always be my daughter." He smiled and looked up at Lola, who was tearing up now.

"Oh no," he said, not wanting her to start crying again. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Lola whispered, wiping her eyes. "No, that was perfect." She smiled softly at him.

Miles nodded, then leaned down and planted a kiss on her belly. Just then though, the baby kicked. " _Ow_ ," Miles cried.

Lola couldn't help but laugh. "Guess she wasn't asleep after all."

"Yeah, and she had the nerve to sock me in the mouth," Miles muttered. He shook his head laughing. "I bet she gets that attitude from you."

Lola smirked. "From the both of us," she insisted. She yawned all of a sudden. "Hey, I'm pretty tired," she said. "I think I'm gonna take a nap."

"Oh, okay," Miles said, sitting up. "I guess I'll get going then."

But Lola grabbed his hand. "No," she said. "Stay." She leaned back into the couch, motioning for him to join her.

Miles looked at her uncertainly. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah," Lola nodded. "I like having you here."

Miles smiled. "Well, okay," he said. He laid down beside her, resting his head on her belly. They drifted into a deep sleep, feeling peaceful, if only for a moment.


	42. Second Chances

Only a couple more chapters until the baby comes (and the story will continue after that still)! Glad the last chapter was well-received... As much as I love Miles, it's really nice to focus on Lola again. Thanks again for reviewing! xx

 **Second Chances**

Lola just barely stirred as the warm sunlight hit her face. She opened her eyes slowly, hearing Fernando barking from another room. She glanced out the window in confusion-- the sun was rising. That meant... oh god, she had spent the night with Miles. She looked down and saw him sound asleep, still resting his head on her belly. "Miles," she whispered, nudging him. " _Miles_."

Miles lifted his head up groggily. "Huh?" he mumbled. "What-- what time is it?"

Lola pulled out her phone and glanced at it. "Eight a.m," she sighed. "I guess our nap lasted longer than we planned."

Miles sat up, rubbing his tired eyes. "Your dad's not home?"

"He probably went straight to bed after work," she shrugged. "I think he's working the early shift today."

"Good," Miles yawned. He ran his fingers through his messy hair. "Because he hates me."

Lola rolled her eyes. "He doesn't _hate_ you." She bit her lip. "Okay, maybe a _little,"_ she added, giggling.

Miles just shook his head, getting up to stretch. "Any plans for today?"

"The usual," Lola shrugged, resting her hands on her stomach. "Just lying around being pregnant." She sighed, feeling the baby squirm around a little.

"Well, in that case," Miles said, zipping his jacket up, "why don't you come over for breakfast? Our chef makes really good waffles." He shrugged, smiling a little. "I mean, the doctor said it's okay for you to get out of bed as long as you're not on your feet too much."

Lola really did want to get out of the house for a bit. "Okay," she smiled back. "Hard to say no to waffles." She tried to get up on her own, but it was no use. She sighed and took Miles' hand, clutching her huge belly. She would be glad when she could move like a normal human being again.

When they arrived at the Hollingsworth house, Mrs. Hollingsworth was already downstairs having coffee and reading the paper.

"Oh," Mrs. H said, surprised to see them. "Lola, I didn't know you were coming over." She didn't seem to care that Miles had been out all night. Lola couldn't believe how much he was allowed to get away with compared to her or Frankie. _Male privilege_ , she sighed.

Lola shrugged apologetically. She was a little nervous, given that her last encounter with Mrs. H hadn't exactly gone well. "I hope I'm not intruding," Lola said timidly.

"No, no," Mrs. H said, pulling out a chair for her. "Here, go ahead and sit down. You shouldn't be on your feet."

Lola slumped into her chair, leaning back and trying to relax. She rubbed her stomach and sighed exhaustedly.

Mrs. H noticed Lola struggling to get comfortable. "Third trimester is always the hardest," she muttered. "Probably a boy if it's giving you that much trouble," she added, laughing.

"Oh, Frankie didn't tell you?" Lola said. "It's a girl. We found out yesterday."

"Really," Mrs. H murmured, sipping her coffee. "Well, congratulations." She smiled a little, then went back to reading the newspaper.

Just then, Frankie came downstairs. "Morning, family," she said, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Oh. Hey, Lo." She paused, glancing back and forth between Lola and Miles. It didn't take long for her to put two and two together. "Let's go in the kitchen for a second," she said to Lola.

Lola followed her into the next room. "What?" she said, rolling her eyes at Frankie's smirk.

"You _totally_ spent the night together," Frankie whispered coyly.

Lola shook her head. "Nothing happened," she muttered. "We just fell asleep together. That's all."

Frankie raised her eyebrows. "Are you thinking about getting back together?"

Lola didn't look at Frankie. "I don't know," she said quietly. She sighed, rubbing her belly. "I don't even know if I can even think about that right now. The baby's about to come-- there's just too much going on."

Frankie nodded. "But... you want to?" she said.

"I don't know," Lola sighed, and that was the truth. She really didn't know how she felt about Miles-- or anything these days, for that matter. She hadn't stopped loving him. She never had. But, now didn't exactly feel like the right time to put her heart on the line. She had been through so much; she didn't think she could handle getting hurt again.

"What are you two gossiping about?" Miles interrupted. He turned to Lola. "Mom says you can eat your waffles on the couch," he said. "I'd take her up on it if I were you-- she hasn't let me do that since I was seven with the chicken pox."

"God, I remember that," Frankie groaned. "Me, you, and Hunter all had it at the same time." She glanced at Lola. "Make sure you get the baby vaccinated."

Lola just shook her head. "Yeah," she sighed. "Waffles on the couch sounds good." She took Miles' hand and followed him into the living room, Frankie sticking her tongue out at her as if to say _told you you still have feelings for him._

Lola settled onto the couch and Mrs. H handed her a tray of waffles, hash browns, and fruit. "Thanks, Mrs. H," she said. "That's really nice of you."

"It's no problem," Mrs. H said. She sighed thoughtfully. "I remember when I was pregnant with the twins, I used to crave waffles all the time."

Lola smiled a little. "I couldn't imagine carrying _twins_ ," she laughed.

Mrs. H shook her head, laughing a little. "It was a _nightmare."_

After breakfast, Lola laid down on the couch to get some rest. Miles brought her a blanket and pillow. "Anything else you need?" he asked, sitting next to her. He smiled at her, his eyes glistening in the light.

"I don't think so," Lola murmured. "But thanks."

Miles scooted closer to her, holding her hand. Lola sighed-- she knew where this was going. She let go of his hand. "That's not a good idea," she said quietly.

Miles looked at her in confusion. "What isn't?"

Lola moved her hand across her stomach tensely. "Look," she said. "I know we spent last night together and all, but--" She bit her lip. "Let's just... let's not ruin what we've got right now. Our... friendship, or whatever it is."

Miles just shook his head. "I don't think _friends_ usually have babies together, Lola."

Lola sighed. She didn't want to hurt him, but she just couldn't handle trying to figure out this relationship again, not right now, only weeks before the baby was due. "I just... I can't think about _us_ right now." She looked at him sadly. "I need you to understand that."

Miles didn't say anything for a minute. "I'm not going to hurt you again, Lola," he said quietly. He sighed. "If I ever got a second chance, I... I'd never screw this up again. I swear."

Lola leaned back and closed her eyes, resting her hands on her belly. "Just give me time, Miles."


	43. Unexpected

Thanks for your feedback! I'm sorry if the last couple chapters felt a bit filler-ish.. I felt they were kind of important to establish Miles and Lola's current platonic/but not really platonic dynamic. In regards to the stomach thing, yikes I didn't even realize how often I mentioned that. Most of the time I just was looking for a description to put between quotes haha. Anyway, I think you guys will be excited about this chapter... xx

 **Unexpected**

A couple of days later, Lola and Frankie lounged around Lola's house eating candy cane ice cream and watching _The Parent Trap_.

"Can you imagine going your whole life not knowing you had an identical twin sister?" Lola tsked, taking another bite of ice cream. She'd chowed through about half the tub already. " _So_ messed up."

Frankie sighed. "I miss the old Lindsey Lohan." She leaned back into the couch, laughing suddenly. "Remember in grade nine when you, me, and Shay used to watch _Mean Girls_ literally every weekend? I had _the_ biggest crush on Aaron."

"Oh god," Lola giggled. "We used to quote Regina George all the time." She sighed wistfully. "I miss those days."

"We could watch _Mean Girls_ now," Frankie shrugged, reaching for the remote.

Lola shook her head. "No," she said. "I mean... I miss when things were that simple. Things were so much easier back then."

"Yeah," Frankie sighed. "Not like we were dealing with baby drama back in grade nine."

Lola shook her head laughing. "I had barely even _kissed_ a boy back then." She took another bite of ice cream. "Well. I did think your brother was cute, though," she admitted, blushing.

Frankie just laughed. "Which one?"

Lola looked at her dumbfounded. "Gee, I don't know," she said. "Maybe the one whose _baby_ I'm carrying?"

Frankie bit her lip. "Right," she muttered. _Duh._ "Didn't exactly see you and Hunter ever being a thing." She turned up the volume on the TV. "Even if he did get a boner for you," she added, laughing.

Lola didn't say anything. She just sat there frozen, not looking at Frankie.

"Lola?" Frankie said, turning to her. "What... boner jokes aren't funny anymore?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

Lola still didn't look at her. "It's-- it's not that," she said, her voice suddenly anxious. "Either... either I just had a really bad cramp or..."

Frankie dropped the remote. " _Or..._?" she asked frantically.

Lola clutched her stomach, wincing. "Call Miles," she cried. Her face was pure panic, sweat dripping down her red cheeks. "I think the baby's coming."

Frankie jumped up from the couch, dialing Miles' number as fast as she could. "Oh my god," she cried. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."

"That's not exactly _helping_ ," Lola snapped. " _Agggh_!" she gasped.

Frankie turned to Lola. "He's not answering."

Lola groaned as the contraction kept going-- this was even worse than she'd imagined. She'd seen women go into labor in the movies and on tv, but they had always had their husbands by their sides to pamper them with ice chips and squeeze their hand through the pain. " _What_?" she cried. "What do you _mean_ he's not answering?"

Frankie threw her phone onto the ground as she got Miles' voicemail again. "I don't know!" she shouted. "God-- this is... I can't... where's your dad?" She looked like she was going to be sick.

"He's at _work_ ," Lola said. She groaned. She started crying, terrified all of a sudden. "The baby wasn't supposed to come for two more weeks!"

Frankie just stood there frozen, feeling like she was about to pass out. This was way beyond what they could handle. "Well, it's coming anyway. So what do we do, Lola? What the hell do we _do_?"

Lola let out another moan. "Take me to the damn _hospital_!" she cried, trying to get up off the couch.

Frankie pulled out her keys, trying to stay calm enough to drive. "Okay, _okay_ ," she cried. She rushed out the door, leaving Lola on the couch by herself.

" _Frankie_!" Lola cried. Frankie had _forgotten_ _her_.

"Oh-- oh _shit_ ," Frankie yelled from the kitchen. She ran back into the living room and helped Lola off the couch. "Okay, _now_ let's go."

Lola buckled herself in and sent out a quick text to her dad to meet her at the hospital. She tried Miles one more time-- _I NEED YOU_ , she typed. _Baby's coming!!!_ "Hurry!" she shouted at Frankie, barely standing the pain.

"I'm going, I'm going!" Frankie cried, just as panicked as Lola. She backed out of the driveway and rammed straight into the Pacinis' garbage cans. " _Shit_."

Lola groaned. "Never mind that," she said, glancing at all the spilled garbage. "Just... just get me to the hospital as fast as you can." She sighed. "Frankie?"

"Yeah?" Frankie muttered quickly, speeding through a yellow light.

"I'm really glad you're here," Lola whispered.

Frankie looked over at Lola. "Of course," she said, squeezing her hand. "After all, this is my niece."

Lola squeezed Frankie's hand tightly and sighed. It was nice to have her best friend by her side, but it wasn't enough. _She needed Miles._


	44. You Are My Hope

Sorry the last chapter was a little short-- this one is way longer. It's finally happening, everyone!! This isn't the end, I'm eager to get into the post-pregnancy storyline soon! Here's the moment we've all been waiting for xx

 **You Are My Hope**

Miles woke up around 12:30 that afternoon, feeling like a small animal was trying to crawl out of his skull. His head was pounding, his stomach churning-- it was a feeling he had sworn to himself he would never feel again. He smashed his head into his pillow, hating himself all over again. He had gone months without relapsing, why did he have to fuck up _now_?

He flashed back to yesterday afternoon. He'd come home after a long day of running errands with Winston. It seemed like everywhere they went there were babies-- the grocery store, the mall, the park. It was driving him crazy, a constant reminder that Lola still hadn't made up her mind about the adoption.

"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad," Winston tried to offer. "I mean, this way you could go to your writing school."

But Miles just shook his head, not wanting to hear any of it. "I don't give a shit about that school anymore." He didn't give a shit about _anything_ anymore.

He hadn't seen Lola since the other day when she said she needed time. Miles had tried to honor that by giving her space, but it was hard. It felt like he was back at square one, back to the days when she was dating Saad and he was just left to watch from a distance and bury his feelings.

He had come home yesterday and found a package sitting on his windowsill with his name on it. "The hell.." he muttered, opening it. He sighed. It was a bottle of jack-- his old favorite brand-- with a note attached that read, _Thanks for the save the other night. I owe you. -E_

He should've just thrown the bottle out right then, thrown it out his window and shattered it into a million pieces. But, he was tired, he was upset, and Lola hadn't taken his calls all day. He'd tried to resist it, just staring at the bottle from his bedside for a few hours trying to distract himself by reading _Gatsby_ again. But that night, he finally caved. He downed almost the entire bottle, drinking the pain away. It was stupid, he knew. But he couldn't stop himself.

Alcohol had never been his main issue, exactly-- it was really more of the drug scene that had given him so much grief junior year. But after he finally got clean last year and gave up drugs, he promised himself no more addictive substances. No more drugs, no more booze, not even weed. At least, up until last night.

Just then, Hunter barged into his room. "Hey, _dumbass_ ," he said, tossing Miles' phone at him. "You left this in my room. It's been going off like crazy."

Miles picked up his phone, but then turned and puked into the garbage can next to him.

" _Gross_ ," Hunter cried. "What the hell happened to you?"

Miles slumped back on the bed. "Take notes," he muttered. "This is exactly how you're _not_ supposed to live your life." He shook his head and leaned over to pick up his phone. He froze.

Hunter noticed his brother's sudden look of panic. "What's up?" he asked.

Miles didn't take his eyes of the screen. " _Lola_. Lola's having the baby," he cried, still frozen. "She... she tried calling me an hour ago. _Shit_!" He jumped out of bed and threw on a clean shirt. " _Move._ I need to get to the hospital!" he shouted, shoving Hunter aside.

But Hunter blocked the doorway. "You're hungover as shit and you look like you're on the verge of a panic attack. There's no way in hell I'm letting you drive right now."

Miles tried to push him away. "Are you out of your _mind_?" he cried. "She's having the fucking baby! I need to get to the damn hospital!"

"I _know_ ," Hunter said. "Which is why _I'm_ driving you. Give me your keys." He held out his hand.

Miles didn't bother to argue. "Fine,"he muttered, throwing his keys in his brother's hands. "Let's go."

Miles called Lola in the car, but got no answer. He tried Frankie instead.

"Miles!" Frankie cried as soon as the phone rang. "God, where have you _been_? We've been trying to call you for over an hour."

"I'm on my way," Miles said, glancing over at Hunter driving. He ignored the fact that his brother had just run through a stop sign. "Meet you there in ten."

"Okay," Frankie said quickly.

"Frankie... is... is Lola okay?" Miles asked, trying not to sound too panicked.

"She's fine," Frankie said. "Just get down here as soon as possible." She sighed. "She's really going to need you, Miles. Her _and_ the baby."

Miles gulped. This was really it-- his daughter was really coming. "I'll be there as soon as I can," he said, hanging up.

Hunter dropped him off at the maternity ward and went to go park. After a quick squabble with the front desk, Miles finally got to go back to the delivery room where Lola and Frankie were waiting for him.

Lola was lying in the hospital bed in her gown, her face pale and dripping with sweat. " _There_ you are!" she cried. "What took you so long?"

Miles tried to avoid answering that question directly. "I'm here, I'm here," he said frantically, pulling up a chair by her bedside. He grabbed her hand. "I'm not going anywhere."

Lola didn't look at him. "Oh no," she cried, clutching her belly. "Here comes another one."

Miles froze. "Another _what_?"

Lola squeezed his hand and screamed. Her grip was so tight that she nearly snapped his fingers in half.

"Another _contraction_ , stupid!" Frankie cried.

Lola let out a deep breath, finally done with that one. "The nurse just came in a few minutes ago," she told Miles, panting hard. "It's going to be a couple more hours." Her face turned even paler.

Miles felt like he was going to be sick. "Where's your dad?" he asked.

"He can't get off work," she said. "He's going to try and be here as soon as he can, though." She squeezed his hand again. "Oh _god_ , here comes _another_ one!" she cried. " _Aaaaagh_!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Now Miles really felt queasy. Another couple of _hours_? He didn't know how they could handle a couple more _minutes_.

Just then, a doctor came in, a middle-aged guy Miles didn't recognize. "You must be Lola," he said. "I'm Dr. Andrews. I'll be delivering your baby today."

Lola looked at him in confusion. She had expected to see her regular ob-gyn. "Where's Dr. Julie?" she asked.

"She's not on call today," Dr. Andrews explained. He pulled out a chart. "We're moving along a little quicker than we thought here. You're about 7 cm dialated."

Suddenly, Miles felt very warm. The room was spinny, like someone had put him on the tilt-a-whirl at the amusement park.

" _Aaaaagh_ ," Lola squeezed Miles' hand again, her contractions clearly getting more intense.

Miles turned to her in a panic, his hand bright red from Lola's squeezing. "What can I do?" he cried. He hated seeing her in pain like this. "What can I do to make this easier?".

Lola shook her head. "I don't know, maybe a condom?" she said. "Oh wait-- that would have come in handy _nine months ago!"_

The doctor couldn't help but laugh. "I take it you're the dad?" he said to Miles.

Miles sighed. "Yup," he muttered.

"And I'm the aunt," Frankie added. She looked a little nauseous herself. "I'd better go see where Hunter is," she said, getting up.

"Wait," Lola cried. "Don't leave me. Don't leave me, Frankie!"

Frankie squeezed her hand. "I'll be right back," she promised. "You're going to be fine." She turned to her brother. "You've got Miles." She turned and followed the doctor out into the hallway.

"That's right," Miles added. He stroked Lola's hair. "I'm not going anywhere."

Lola looked into his eyes. "You better not," she said softly. She leaned into him, crying out from the pain.

Miles tried to stay calm. "Just breathe," he told Lola. "Just breathe, baby."

An hour and about a million contractions later, the doctor finally said it was time to push.

"Wait!" Lola cried, tears streaming down her face. She looked absolutely petrified. "I can't do this... I-- I don't _want_ to do this," she sobbed.

"It'll all be over soon," the doctor assured her. She'd had some pain medicine, but it wasn't kicking in nearly fast enough.

" _No, no_!" Lola cried. "I'm only sixteen! I can't do this, I can't, I can't, _I can't_!"

Miles squeezed her hand. " _Breathe_ ," he told Lola. "You have to breathe!"

"Don't tell me to breathe!" Lola snapped, taking her hand away from him. She clutched her stomach as another contraction came on. "God, I hate you for doing this to me!"

Miles tried to ignore that. But still, he did feel guilty. In a way, this _was_ his fault. He thought back to the night he and Lola had first had sex:

 _"Are you sure you want this?"_ _Lola said_.

 _Miles nodded and kissed her. They continued making out heavily, their hands wandering all over. They couldn't contain themselves. Soon, they were completely undressed._

 _Miles reached into his dresser drawer. "Oh crap,_ " _he muttered. "I'm out of condoms..."_

 _"It's okay," Lola assured him, smiling. She was so innocent. "I'm on the pill."_

 _"You really_ are _the best," Miles sighed, smirking._

"Miles! _Miles_!"

Miles snapped back into reality. "Huh?" he cried. "What?"

"We're ready to push," Dr. Andrews said.

Now Miles really felt like he was going to be sick. A million emotions flooded in him-- fear, excitement, dread. He squeezed Lola's hand tightly. "You can do it," he said, trying to sound reassuring. "You've got this."

Lola screamed. " _Push, push_!" the doctors shouted.

"You're doing great, baby," Miles said to Lola, stroking her cheek. "You're doing _so good_."

Lola only screamed louder. It scared the hell out of Miles. Lola _was_ only sixteen-- what if she really couldn't handle this, what if she couldn't actually get through this?

"One more push!" Dr. Andrews yelled.

" _AHHHH_!" Lola screamed at the top of her lungs, squeezing Miles' hand as hard as she possibly could. It was really a miracle she hadn't fractured it by this point.

And then suddenly, there was a faint cry. Miles stared in shock as the doctor lifted a tiny, pink body. "It's a girl!" the doctor said, wiping her off quickly. He wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to Lola.

Lola started to sob. " _Oh my god_ ," she cried as she held the baby for the first time. It was beyond surreal. This tiny human, this little person she'd grown inside her body for the past nine months, feeling every kick, squirm, and hiccup-- was finally here and in Lola's arms. She cradled the crying baby back and forth. "Shh, baby," she sang. "It's okay. Momma's here."

Miles was still in shock. She was really here. _Their baby was here._

"Do you want... do you want to hold her?" Lola asked Miles as soon as the baby's cries had settled down.

"S-sure," Miles stammered, admittedly terrified. Lola carefully handed him the baby, smiling as she watched him hold his daughter for the first time.

Miles stared at the baby, overwhelmed. He stroked her tiny little fingers as the baby looked up at him. "She's got my eyes," Miles whispered.

"And my curly hair," Lola added, stroking her light brown curls. For a newborn, she already had quite a bit of hair. Lola started to cry again. "Look at her," she whispered. "She's perfect."

Miles felt a tear stream down his face. "She is," he whispered, handing her back to Lola. "She really is."

Lola paused, sighing as she held the baby close to her. "Miles," she said quietly. "I know what we should name her."

Miles turned to her. "And what's that?"

Lola faced the baby towards him, her tiny eyes closing. " _Hope_ ," she said. She smiled. "It's been right there in front of us all along." She cradled her back and forth. "Hope Francesca Hollingsworth."

Miles smiled back. "I love it," he said, his eyes glued to his newborn daughter. "It fits her perfectly." _Hope._ He paused. "Wait," he said. "You're giving her a name. Does this... does this mean..."

Lola snuffled. "I want to keep her," she whispered, still crying. She stared down at Hope, who was sleeping soundly in her arms.

Miles' face broke into a smile. "Really?" he cried.

Lola nodded, cradling Hope against her chest. "She's _ours_."


	45. Quiet Things No One Ever Knows

Ahhh so glad the baby is finally here!! Now for Mola parenting... xx

 **Quiet Things No One Ever Knows**

Throughout the day, Lola and Miles' friends and family came to visit Hope. It was like everyone was scrambling to meet some big-shot celebrity. Frankie had rushed in about ten minutes after the baby was born, dragging Hunter with her. He'd been afraid to go into the room, not wanting to walk in on Lola in the middle of labor. "You're _sure_ the baby's here?" he asked Frankie, tugging at his collar nervously.

" _Yes_ ," Frankie said impatiently. They stood outside the doorway. "Now, let's go meet our niece!"

They walked in and saw Miles holding the baby in his arms, looking thrilled but terrified. Lola was lying in the hospital bed next to them, staring at her newborn daughter adoringly. Lola's face was still pale from the labor. "Hey," she said to them weakly. She smiled. "Meet Hope."

Miles got up and carefully brought Hope closer to his siblings. "Here she is," Miles said, exhausted but still smiling.

Hunter shook his head. "Now there's something I never thought I'd see," he laughed. "You holding a baby."

Miles just grinned. "What do you think, Franks?" he said, turning to his sister.

Frankie touched Hope's little fingers, in awe of how tiny she was. "She's beautiful, guys," she whispered. "She's got your eyes, Miles."

Lola smiled, watching from her bedside. "And your name," she added. "Hope _Francesca_ Hollingsworth."

Frankie's eyes lit up. "Really?" she said. She looked at Hope again, gushing. "I'm honored, Lo." She paused. "Wait, so you're for sure keeping her?"

"Yes," Lola nodded, laughing softly. "We are."

Frankie smiled. "Can I hold her?" she asked. Miles glanced at Lola, checking for her approval.

Lola nodded. "Of course," she said, smiling.

Miles carefully handed Hope to Frankie. He and Lola watched nervously as Frankie held their baby, gently cradling her.

"Hi there, Hope," Frankie said to the baby quietly. "I'm your Auntie Frankie." She turned to Hunter. "And this is your Uncle Hunter." She looked at her twin. "Did you want to--?" she asked, moving closer to him.

Hunter looked way too scared to hold the baby. "Ah-- maybe later," he said sheepishly.

Frankie handed her back to Miles, who put her in Lola's arms. Lola couldn't stop smiling as she rocked her newborn daughter back and forth. The baby was so beautiful. She still couldn't believe she was finally here. All that pain, all those kicks and contractions and sleepless nights-- they had all been worth it.

More visitors trickled in throughout the day-- Shay and Tiny, Maya, Zoe, Yael, and Mrs. Hollingsworth all came and fussed over the baby.

That evening, Lola's dad finally came by. Hope was sleeping in the nursery down the hall while Lola napped in the hospital bed and Miles ran out to get coffee.

" _Mija_ ," he whispered. He smiled slightly, gently stroking Lola's cheek to wake her up. "How are you?"

Lola slowly opened her eyes. "I'm okay," she sighed. She smiled. "She's beautiful, Dad."

"Can I see her?" Mr. Pacini asked.

"Of course," Lola nodded. "I'll have the nurse bring her in."

Minutes later, a nurse walked in carrying Hope. She was all cozied up in her blanket and little pink hat, barely awake. Lola sighed-- she'd felt so huge during the pregnancy and labor had been so painful, but Hope herself was so tiny.

The nurse handed the baby to Mr. Pacini. Lola watched as her dad held his granddaughter for the first time. She couldn't help but notice his smile. "You're right," he whispered to Lola, rocking Hope back and forth. "She's _muy bonita_." He sighed. "Listen, _Mija_ ," he said. "I'm sorry if I wasn't there for you as much as I should have been."

This was the first time in months that they had talked for more than two minutes. "It's okay," Lola assured him. "I'm okay. Hope and I are both okay."

Her dad grinned. "Is that what you named her?" he asked, handing the baby back to Lola. "Hope?"

Lola nodded. "Yeah," she smiled.

Just then, Miles walked in with coffee. He froze at the sight of Lola's dad. The two had never formally met-- Miles had kept his distance from him during the pregnancy, afraid he might take a swing at him for knocking his daughter up. "Er... hi... _sir_ ," he mumbled, spilling some coffee as his hands trembled.

Lola bit her lip. She was nervous for this too. "Dad," she said, "this is Miles."

Miles took a deep breath, bracing himself. But to his surprise, Lola's dad just held his hand out for him to shake. Miles shook his hand cautiously.

"You have a beautiful daughter," Mr. Pacini said, surprisingly calmly. He sighed. "Now, this isn't... exactly... what every father wants for his daughter. But you've stuck by Lola's side this whole time, and I'm grateful for that."

Miles let out a sigh of relief. He'd really expected to get yelled at. "Thank you, sir," he said nervously.

Mr. Pacini smiled. "I'll let you all get some rest now," he said. He turned to Lola. "Are you okay if I leave for a bit, _Mija_?"

Lola nodded. "We're fine," she said, yawning. "Thanks, Dad."

Lola and Hope both drifted off to sleep soon after. Miles sat awake in the chair across from Lola's bed late into the night, just watching the two of them. He was still scared about being a father, if he was honest. But he loved the baby already. He sighed, staring at Lola. He thought back to when she was _his_ , back to when they were in love and not afraid to show it. He hated himself for screwing it up.

Around 1 a.m, Lola finally woke up. "Hey," she whispered to Miles, careful not to wake their sleeping baby. "Have you been sitting here all night?"

Miles shrugged. "Yeah," he whispered. "I didn't want to take my eyes off of her," he said, eyes fixated on Hope.

Lola looked down at their daughter, sighing happily. "Can you believe we made something so perfect?" she gushed quietly.

Miles didn't say anything, but smiled.

Lola took a deep breath. "Miles," she whispered, glancing up at him. Her eyes looked sad all of a sudden. "I... I'm sorry. For what I said to you during labor." She sighed. "I don't hate you."

Miles shrugged. "You were in labor," he said, laughing softly. "I didn't exactly take it personally."

Lola bit her lip. "But still," she said. "You really have been here for me... for _us_ ," she murmured, looking down at Hope. "I mean, you could've just been a total jackass and left me to deal with the pregnancy on my own."

Miles laughed under his breath. "Well, I try not to be a _total_ jackass," he said. "... Most of the time, anyway."

Lola stared into his eyes longingly. She missed him. She missed falling asleep in his arms. She missed hearing him say "I love you." She missed kissing him. She even missed bickering with him. "Miles..." she whispered. She took a deep breath. "Do you think we could ever..." She went quiet, her words not coming out the way she wanted them to.

Miles looked at her, his heart racing. "Yeah?" he murmured, scooting closer to the two of them.

Lola sighed. She glanced down at Hope, then back up at Miles, noticing their matching eyes once again. "Can we be _us_ again?" she said, choking on her words as her eyes teared up.

Miles broke into a smile. "I've never stopped loving you, you know," he admitted. "Not for a second." He took a deep breath. "I know I can be a fuckup," he whispered. "And I know I've hurt you before, but..." He paused, crawling next to her on the bed. "I want to be with you."

Lola leaned over and kissed him slowly. She sighed happily, one hand still on his cheek. "Me too," she whispered.

Just then, Hope woke up. She let out a faint cry, starting to fuss. Lola sighed, exhausted.

"Let me take her," Miles offered, scooping Hope into his arms. "You should rest."

"Thank you," Lola said, letting him take the baby. She paused. "Miles?"

Miles glanced over at Lola as he cradled their crying baby back and forth. "Yes?"

Lola smiled. "I love you too."


	46. Adjustments

Please keep reviewing; I'm anxious to know your thoughts now that the baby is here! Hope you guys still find the story interesting xx

 **Adjustments**

Lola woke up the next morning still exhausted. It was true-- having a baby really _did_ take a lot out of you. She'd gotten so used to being pregnant by now that it almost felt strange to have the baby in the room with them instead of feeling it move inside her.

But overall, even though she was exhausted, she was so happy that their daughter was finally here. When she'd gone into labor, adoption was still in the back of her mind. But the second she saw Hope's face, as soon as she held her in her arms and felt her tiny little fingers, she knew she could never let her go. She belonged to her and Miles, and she always had.

"Hey," she said to Miles sleepily. He was sitting by her bedside still, rocking Hope back and forth. She smiled at the baby. "Come here you," she cooed, holding her arms out.

"Morning to you too," Miles grinned, putting the baby in Lola's arms. "Any regrets about last night?" he asked, referring to their kiss.

Lola bit her lip. "No," she said. She looked down at Hope, who was closing her tiny eyes. "I don't think I have any regrets about anything." She smiled.

Miles smiled back. "Me either," he said. He leaned in and kissed her.

Lola kissed him back and sighed happily. She held Hope against her chest. "She's so beautiful," she whispered. She looked up at Miles. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Some," Miles said, yawning. "She was kind of fussy."

"Yeah," Lola said, looking at him apologetically. "Sorry about that. I was just exhausted."

Hope started to whimper again. Lola sighed. "Can you go get the nurse?" she asked, cradling Hope back and forth. "I think she's hungry. I'm supposed to start breast-feeding today."

"Uh, sure," Miles said awkwardly, getting up to go find the nurse. He hadn't even thought about things like _breast-feeding_.

A nurse came in a few minutes later and helped Lola get started. "This feels so weird," Lola laughed as Miles just sat there trying not to be in the way.

"Yeah," Miles muttered, trying to keep himself from staring too much. "I bet."

"So," Lola said as she nursed Hope, "the doctor says we can take her home later this afternoon."

Miles perked up. "Oh?" he said. "Wait-- your home or mine?"

Lola shrugged. "I guess mine... I mean that's where she's going to be the majority of the time anyway. At least, until school starts."

Miles sighed. He wasn't keen on the idea of being away from the baby every night. "It would be so much easier if you could just move in with me," he said.

Lola covered herself back up as Hope finished. "Miles, I'm _sixteen_ ," she said. "I can't just move out." She bit her lip. "Look, this is the best we can do for now. Given the circumstances." She looked down at Hope and sighed. Being pregnant had been complicated enough, but having an actual baby meant a whole new set of challenges. This little person was depending on them for every single thing-- food, a place to sleep, safety, love, attention, comfort. Lola knew that from this point forward, her daughter's needs would always have to come first.

Hope started to whimper again. Miles groaned. "Didn't you _just_ feed her?"

Lola patted the baby on the back gently. "I have to burp her," she said. She patted her back again and Hope let out a little burping noise. "There you go, baby," she whispered, cradling the tiny infant against her chest.

Miles shook his head. "She's already back to sleep," he muttered, a little grumpy. "She wouldn't stop fussing when _I_ held her."

Lola shrugged. "Well," she said quietly, "babies usually take longer to bond with their fathers. I mean, I carried her for nine months-- she doesn't really know you yet."

Miles sighed. It didn't seem fair that he had spent nearly every day by Lola's side, been at every doctor's appointment, felt the baby kick, talked to her in the womb even, and he was _still_ considered a stranger.

Lola noticed his frown and looked at him sympathetically. "Hey," she said gently. "It's okay. She'll get there."

Just then, one of the nurses came in carrying a big gift-wrapped box. "This was just delivered for you," she said, handing it to Miles.

Lola watched as Miles unwrapped it. "Who's it from?" she asked quietly, trying not to wake Hope.

"I'm not sure," Miles muttered. He tore the wrapping paper off and found a brand new car seat-- an expensive looking one.

"Wow," Lola gasped. "Well, we sure could use that."

"Yeah," Miles agreed. He paused. "Wait." He turned the box to its side and found a gift tag-- _from Dad_.

Lola noticed his sudden tenseness. "Miles?" she asked. "Miles, what's wrong?"

Miles didn't look at her. "It's from my dad."

Lola took a deep breath. "Oh," she said. "Well... maybe... maybe he just wanted to be nice?" She shrugged awkwardly.

Miles shook his head. He knew his dad better than that. He was never just nice to be _nice_ \-- it was always for a reason, always because he wanted something in return. "No," Miles said, agitated. "No, if he wanted to be nice, he would have helped us out financially when I first came to him months ago. This... this has got to be a bribe."

Lola just looked at him, confused. "A bribe for what?"

"I don't know yet," Miles muttered. "But, trust me-- nothing comes from Dad for free."

Lola sighed. She didn't like seeing Miles upset. He always got this way whenever he talked about his dad. "Should we send it back?" she asked.

"Nah," Miles shrugged, inspecting the car seat. It really _was_ fancy. "We need all the help we can get right now." He looked down at his sleeping daughter and sighed. "But... there's no way I'm ever letting my dad near Hope. _Ever."_

Lola nodded. "I feel the same about my mom," she said quietly. She shook her head, laughing under her breath a little. "She'd probably _flip_ if she came back one day and saw that I had a baby."

Miles still had his eyes glued to Hope. "We're not going to be like them, right?" he's whispered, his voice still tense. "Our parents?"

" _Never_ ," Lola said. She planted a kiss on Hope's tiny forehead and sighed. "I'm not my mom. And you're not your dad."

Miles nodded. "I just want to be a good dad," he sighed.

Lola smiled at him. "You already are."


	47. Father Knows Best

Hope you guys are still invested. Please keep reviewing, it really helps me! Now that we've veered into the post-s4 timeline, I'm going to be doing some more original storylines.. xx

 **Father Knows Best**

Miles walked into the Hollingsworth house late the next morning, exhausted and in desperate need of a shower and fresh clothes. Since it was Hope's first night out of the hospital, he had spent the night at Lola's to help out. Lola's dad had allowed him to stay over just this once as long as Miles and Lola slept in separate beds. Miles found that kind of funny considering they already had a baby together, but he was just glad to be with Lola and Hope. Her father was treating him pretty nicely, but definitely with caution. Miles was trying his best to get on his good side as much as possible. As the father of his granddaughter, it was important to Miles that Lola's dad at least didn't _hate_ him-- especially now that he and Lola were back together.

When he came into the kitchen though, he saw Hunter and Frankie sitting quietly at the table, their faces white as sheets. He knew immediately that something was wrong.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"I guess you haven't seen the news this morning," Hunter mumbled, his face still pale.

Now Miles was _really_ worried. "What news?" he said, his voice panicky. "What are you talking about?"

Frankie finally spoke up. "Dad got arrested this morning."

Miles took a seat in between his siblings, his head spinning. "Wha-- what?" he stammered. "For _what_?"

Hunter didn't look at him. "Bribery," he muttered, "embezzlement. Extortion... the list goes on."

"Mom bailed him out," Frankie continued, "but he still has to stand trial. And the banks are probably going to freeze his accounts soon."

Miles covered his face with his hands, sinking low into his chair. This was all too much to process. Between his daughter being born only days ago and the news of his father's arrest, he couldn't think straight. This was too much; too much to handle.

Just then, their mom came in. She looked scared, like _she_ was the child in this situation instead of the parent. She glanced at Miles and sighed. "Well," she muttered, her voice frazzled, "I guess you know the news by now."

Miles felt sick. "What-- what are we going to do?" he asked, his face turning pale.

Mrs. H took a seat at the table with the kids. "The most important thing is that we stick together as a family," she said matter-a-factly. She took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact with Miles in particular. "And that means testifying on your father's behalf if we need to."

Miles sat up. He couldn't be hearing this right. "What do you mean?"

"You know," Mrs. H muttered nervously. Her voice was shaky and her cheeks were paler than all of the kids' combined. "Defending his character. Explaining that he's a good man, a good father. That he wouldn't do these... these things."

Miles just stared at her. "A good father?" he repeated, his breath hot and his voice tense. " _A good father?_ You mean the guy who slammed me against a wall? Who hit me? Who threw a fucking _vase_ at me?" He slammed his fists on the table in anger, feeling his heart pound and his bones rattle.

"Miles, calm down," Mrs. H said wearily.

" _Don't tell me to calm down_!" Miles yelled. He was so angry, so done with all of this, with everything. "All he ever did was destroy this family and you're telling me to _defend_ him?"

"He's our _dad_ ," Hunter butted in, still not looking at Miles.

Frankie nodded in agreement with her twin. "Miles, come on," she said quietly. "We need to stick together."

Miles just shook his head, refusing to look at any of them. It was all beginning to make sense-- _this_ was why his dad had sent him and Lola the car seat the other day. His dad knew he was about to get busted and that he would need Miles' help. The "gift" was only a bribe, as usual. He thought back to the election a couple of years ago, when his dad had taken Miles out for golf and lunch just to look good for the press. Or when he bought him a shiny new car in exchange for keeping quiet about slamming him against a wall. The more Miles thought about all the crap his dad had put him and his siblings through, the angrier he got. He couldn't imagine _ever_ doing anything remotely like that to Hope; he couldn't fathom ever laying a hand on her to hurt her like that.

Mrs. H took a deep breath. "If you won't do it for your father," she said, looking at Miles sternly, "then at least do it for the sake of your family."

Miles just sighed. He felt his phone go off. "I don't have anything else to say right now," he huffed, opening a text from Lola. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go pick up more diapers for my daughter. You know, the _other_ part of my family I need to protect."

Mrs. H just rolled her eyes, not looking at him. "Fine," she muttered. She crossed her arms, sighing. "But if your father goes to jail, we could lose all of our money. How are you going to take care of your baby if _that_ happens?"

Miles froze. He could get a job, he told himself. _Two_ jobs, even. But even that might not be enough to provide for the baby. And Lola didn't need any more stress in her life right now. Plus, there was university for him to worry about still. And Hunter and Frankie too.

He grabbed his keys and turned to walk out of the house. "I'll see you later," he said coldly, slamming the door behind him.


	48. Only Human

Once again, thank you so much for your reviews! The long ones especially help me. In regards to Maya and Zoe visiting the baby, Maya and Lola bonded during the camping trip (though maybe I should have made that clearer) and Zoe has mostly just been around for Miles (the baby shower was _his_ idea, so that's why Zoe was involved). Sorry for any confusion. Glad you guys are interested in the Mr. H drama though. What do you all think of Hope and Mola's parenting so far? xx

 **Only Human**

A week later, Lola sat in her rocking chair one evening cradling Hope back and forth and trying to get her to go back to sleep. Lola was worn out, to say the least. Hope had barely been sleeping at all at night. Every 15 minutes, something seemed to be wrong. She needed to be fed. She needed to be burped. She needed her diaper changed. She was too cold. She was too hot. Every time Lola thought she had settled Hope into her basinnet, she started to fuss again.

Lola was honestly starting to lose her mind a little. She had hardly gotten any sleep at all since they brought the baby home from the hospital. Her dad wasn't too much help; he changed a diaper here and there, but he was mostly occupied with work. Miles had spent the first night with them, but after that, he'd been around sporadically at best. Lola knew he had a lot on his plate with his dad and all-- she didn't know too much about the situation; neither he nor Frankie were willing to talk about it-- but it didn't seem fair that she was the one on duty 24/7. She knew he cared about the baby a lot and wanted to be a good dad, but on nights like these, she couldn't help but feel alone.

She was still worn out from giving birth too. Her baby weight was still there, much to her dismay. Lola had expected to be relatively thin again right after Hope was born-- that's how celebrities always looked, smiling and showing off their bikini bodies on the beach just weeks after.

"Come on," she pleaded at Hope, who was still fussing. "Can't you just sleep for an _hour_? Just one hour?" But Hope still cried.

Lola scrunched her nose. "Oh no," she muttered. "Didn't I _just_ change you?" She sighed and brought the baby over to the changing table. She fumbled around looking for the baby powder and a fresh diaper while still trying to keep one hand on Hope. Lola still hadn't quite gotten the whole diapering thing down yet. She didn't have much of _anything_ down yet, she was realizing.

Once Lola had finally finished changing her, the baby started to settle down a little. Lola held her closely against her chest. She sighed-- how could something so tiny demand so much?

Just then, her phone went off. Just a Hastygram notification-- Shay had mentioned her in a caption. Lola clicked on the notification and saw a picture of Shay, Tiny, Frankie, and some boy at the beach. _Great day_ , the caption said. _Wishing @Pacini_Lolaa could be here!_

Lola felt like crying. She knew the caption was supposed to be nice, but it only made her feel worse. She hadn't even left the house since Hope was born, yet here were all of her friends off having summer adventures like normal teenagers. She knew she'd made the right choice for her by deciding to keep the baby. But it was still hard. For the first week, her phone had been blowing up with nothing but congratulations texts. But now it seemed like everyone's life was just going on without her.

Lola put her phone down, letting out a sigh of relief upon noticing that Hope had finally fallen asleep. She gently tucked her into her bassinet, careful not to wake her. Lola collapsed onto her mattress, which she had moved closer to the bassinet, put the baby monitor on, and finally closed her eyes. It felt like it had been a million years since she'd gotten to rest.

That feeling was short-lived. Just minutes later, Miles walked in. "Lola?" he called, yelling from the kitchen. " _Lola_!"

Lola groaned as Hope woke up and started to cry again. " _Dammit, Miles_ ," she muttered to herself under her breath.

Miles walked into Lola's room and saw her still lying on the bed, too exhausted to move. " _Lola_!" he said frantically, hearing Hope's crying. "Aren't you going to get her?"

Something inside Lola snapped. "Oh, yeah," she said, getting out of bed. " _Of course_. Why wouldn't I? Since I do _everything_ around here."

Miles just shook his head. "That's not fair," he said.

"No, you know what's _not fair_?" Lola snapped, picking the crying baby up. "It's _not fair_ that I'm at home with the baby all day and night while you're off doing whatever you want." She handed Hope to Miles, fed up. "Sure, go out and have fun, it's not like you have a _baby_ to take care of or anything!"

Miles just stared at her for a second, not even sure how to respond. "Is that what you think I've been doing?" he scoffed. "Going out and having _fun_?"

Lola just shrugged, rolling her eyes.

Miles rocked Hope, who was still fussing, back and forth. "I've been out every day looking for _jobs_ ," he said over the screaming baby. "Someone's got to make money, someone's got to support this family!"

Lola stopped. "Wait, what?"

Miles sighed. Hope had finally stopped screaming. "The bank froze my dad's assets," he said quietly. "I don't know what's going to happen to any of the money. My mom has some of it and some savings, but I... I don't know."

Lola looked into his tired eyes, noticing the wrinkles around them. He was exhausted too. She felt awful for yelling at him now. "Miles," she whispered, taking Hope back into her arms. "I'm sorry. I... I didn't know."

Miles just shrugged. "We'll get through it," he said, his voice still tense. He looked over at Hope and sighed. "We'll have to."

Lola leaned in and kissed him. For all his faults, he really _had_ stuck by her side through everything. "We'll get through this _together_ ," she added. She held Hope tightly. "We'll be okay. All three of us."

Miles smiled softly. "Why don't I stay here again tonight?" he offered. "Your dad's working late, maybe he won't even notice I'm here."

Lola breathed a huge sigh of relief. She really, really needed some rest. "That would be amazing." She put Hope back in her bassinet and collapsed on the bed.

Miles joined her. "When did life get so complicated?" he sighed.

"Um," Lola said, nodding at the baby. They both laughed for a second.

"She's worth it, though," Miles whispered, eyes glued to the bassinet.

Lola sighed. "Yeah," she agreed, yawning. "She is." She leaned into his chest and the three of them finally drifted off to sleep.


	49. Give Me Something

So glad you guys are still liking the story! I got a request to write more Miles/Hope bonding scenes, so that's what this chapter is. The Mr. H drama is definitely still happening, it's just not quite the focus of this particular chapter xx

 **Give Me Something**

The next week, Lola finally broke down from exhaustion. She'd only left the house twice in the two weeks since the baby was born, and that was only to pick up more diapers. As much as she adored her daughter, she desperately needed some time to herself. One evening after she had finally gotten Hope down for the night, she called Miles crying.

"Miles," she cried, collapsing onto her bed. "I'm losing it."

"Huh?" Miles said, his voice tired. "What do you mean?"

Lola sighed. "I mean I'm going _crazy_ being stuck in the house all day," she said. She got up and checked on Hope one more time. She was sound asleep in her little red onesie, making soft, happy noises in her bassinet. Thank god-- she had been fussing for hours. "I need some time to recharge." She missed her friends. She missed lying around outside doing nothing. She missed walking around the mall for hours and hours. She missed everything.

"Okay," Miles said, "do you want me to come over again now so you can catch some sleep?"

Lola sat back down on her bed. "No," she said. "I mean, I need more than just sleep. I think I need a night or two off. Like... like a girls' weekend with Frankie and Shay or something."

Miles was quiet for a minute. "Wait," he said, his voice suddenly nervous. "You want me to watch the baby by _myself_ for a whole weekend?"

"She's _your_ daughter too!" Lola snapped.

"I know that," Miles sighed. "I just... I've never been on my own with her that long before." He paused. "What if I mess up?"

Lola glanced over at the sleeping baby and sighed. She was nervous about leaving her for an entire weekend too. But Miles was Hope's _dad_ , and Lola desperately needed to relax a little. Just for a night or two. "You won't," she insisted, her voice gentler now. "Besides, you said you wanted to bond with her more."

"That's true," Miles agreed. "Okay. So... so this weekend then?"

Lola breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah," she said, putting a blanket over the baby. "You can have her at your place for the weekend so she can get used to the nursery. I'll pack a diaper bag with formula and everything." She bit her lip, looking at the tiny baby apprehensively. "Just... just for one night."

Miles took a deep breath. "Sure," he said. "Yeah. Of course." He was quiet for a minute, then added, "I love you."

Lola smiled a little. "I love you too," she said quietly. Even though they'd gotten back together after the baby was born, they had hardly gotten the chance to spend any time together as a couple. Sometimes Lola missed the days of making out under the stairwell at school, back when it was just the two of them against the world.

That weekend, Frankie picked Lola and Hope up so they could drop the baby off with Miles before heading to Shay's for their sleepover. They buckled Hope into her car seat, all snug in her pink onesie, little hat, and cozy blanket. Lola rifled through her diaper bag, going over her checklist again for the millionth time. "Let's see," she said. "Formula, pacifier, outfit, backup outfit, pajamas, extra diapers, teddy bear, sling, blanket, bottle..."

"Geez," Frankie said from the driver's seat, getting impatient. "What _don't_ you have in there?"

Lola climbed into the backseat, wanting to sit next to the baby instead of being up front in the passenger seat. "It's our first time being away from each other," Lola sighed, holding onto Hope's tiny fingers. "I just want to be sure she's got everything she needs."

"Yeah, but it's not like you're leaving her with a stranger," Frankie shrugged. "Miles is her _dad_."

"I know," Lola murmured, her eyes still glued to Hope. Frankie didn't get it-- it wasn't that she didn't trust Miles with the baby. She trusted him more than anyone else in the world. It was just hard to let Hope out of her sight. Lola worried that it made her a bad mother to want to have time to herself so soon.

After going over everything in detail several times and a lot of crying, Lola finally handed Hope over to Miles for the weekend.

"Don't worry," he assured Lola, taking Hope in his arms. "We're going to be just fine." He tried to smile reassuringly, even though he was just as nervous.

Lola just sighed, a worried look on her face. "I'll see you soon, baby," she whispered to Hope, kissing her forehead. She gave Miles a quick peck and waved goodbye tearfully for the night, Frankie dragging her out the door insisting that they _finally_ get going.

As soon as Lola left, Hope immediately started to cry. "Oh no," Miles said. "Don't-- don't cry." He sat down on the couch, holding her closely. "Don't cry," he said again softly. "It's okay, Hope. Daddy's here."

Hope still wailed, her cries getting stronger and stronger. Miles groaned-- he never knew something so small could scream so loudly.

Just then, Hunter came downstairs, looking annoyed. "Can't you get her to quiet down?" he groaned. "I'm trying to focus on this Realm of Doom level!"

Miles just rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, I'll just hit the mute button," he muttered. "Wouldn't want to disturb your oh-so-important gaming."

Hunter glared at him, then glanced at the screaming baby. "You're holding her wrong," he said suddenly.

Miles blinked. "Huh?"

Hunter sighed and scooted next to him on the couch. "Give her to me," he muttered, taking Hope into his arms. "You have to put your hand under her head to support her, like _this_." He rocked the baby back and forth, being surprisingly gentle.

Suddenly, Hope stopped crying.

"What the.." Miles said, dumbfounded. "How'd you know all that?"

Hunter just shrugged. "I don't know," he said, looking embarrassed. "It's just common sense. It's on like... Wikipedia, probably." He handed the baby back to Miles.

Miles shook his head laughing. "Look at you, you little baby master," he said, grinning. " _Uncle Hunter_."

"Ah, shut up," Hunter muttered, laughing. He shook his head, going back upstairs to his video games.

Miles looked down at Hope and smiled. "You want a tour of the house?" he cooed. He laughed as Hope gurgled in response.

Miles grabbed the baby sling and put Hope in it, tightening it around himself. "Oof," he groaned. "You're heavy." He wondered if this was what it felt like to be pregnant. No wonder Lola had complained so much.

He brought the baby upstairs, careful to keep a steady hand on her head. "So, um, here's the hallway," he said to her. "There's your Uncle Hunter's room... there's your Aunt Frankie's... there's the bathroom... there's the den... there's Grandma's room... there's Daddy's room..." He paused, stopping to catch his breath. "And here's _your_ room," he said, walking into the nursery. He lifted her out of the sling and scooped her into his arms. "What do you think?"

Hope spit up.

Miles couldn't help but laugh. "Well, you didn't have to be so rude about it," he said, reaching for a paper towel to wipe his shirt with. "You could have just told me you didn't like the wallpaper."

He sank into the rocking chair, cradling the baby back and forth. "Look at you," he cooed. He rubbed her back gently. "Pretty girl. Just like your mom." He smiled at her.

Just then, his phone went off. "Hello?" he answered.

"Miles?" Lola said, her voice nervous. She had texted him three times already to check up on the baby. "Is everything okay?"

Miles looked down at his daughter, who was now sleeping soundly in his arms, and smiled. "We're doing great," he said, pulling Hope closer to him. "Just great."


	50. The World I Know

I think Miles and Lola are pretty cute parents so far, what do you guys think? Let me know in a review! This chapter is kind of messy and a little weird, but I wanted to showcase more of the Lola-Shay-Frankie friendship, so this is what I came up with.

 **The World I Know**

Lola hung up from Miles and returned to the Shay's room where her and Frankie were waiting for her. It always weirded her out a little to be in here, if she was being honest. The walls had so many pictures of Tiny-- Tiny's senior portraits, Tiny and Shay at prom, Tiny and Shay at the beach. Even though she was really glad to finally be back together with Miles, Tiny was and always would be her first real boyfriend.

She wondered if Tiny had sort of felt the same way when he came with Shay to the hospital after Hope was born. It must have been at least a _little_ weird for him to see Lola holding her and Miles' baby. Even though her and Tiny were never all that serious, they still had joked about baby names and such back in the day.

"Hey," Shay said to Lola. "Everything okay?"

Lola snapped out of it, breaking her gaze on Tiny and Shay's prom picture. "Hmm?" she said. "Oh... oh yeah. Baby's fine."

"Anyway," Frankie interrupted. Lola could tell she was getting tired of constantly hearing about baby stuff. "Tell us more about last weekend, Shay. So you stayed with Tiny and his cousins in their cabin?"

Lola started to zone out again as Shay went on and on about how much fun she had with Tiny and his family. Frankie pressed her for more details about if her and Tiny had hooked up again, was it better the second time, was Tiny was good at it, what do you _mean_ you tried that position. Lola felt out of the loop, to say the least. She felt disconnected from her friends, like she couldn't relate to anyone her age anymore. A part of her couldn't help but feel a little jealous that her friends got to just enjoy sex, whereas _she_ had gotten pregnant from her very first time.

"Maybe I'd better call and check on Hope one more time," Lola said.

"She's _fine,_ Lo," Frankie tsked. "She's with Miles."

Lola put her phone down, sighing. "I know," she said quietly. "I just-- it's weird being away from her."

"What's it like?" Shay asked, looking up from painting her nails. "Having a baby of your own?"

Lola smiled, finally laughing a little. "It's _crazy_ ," she admitted. "It's like, suddenly your entire world revolves around this little person who can't do anything but cry and sleep."

Shay nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Wait," Lola said, looking at her nervously. " _Shay_. You're-- you're not...?"

Shay shook her head laughing. " _God_ , no," she said. She shrugged. "I was just curious."

"Well, _good_ ," Frankie chimed in, rolling her eyes. "Because one baby is _plenty_."

Lola breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm just glad I can get off the couch again," she laughed. "I felt like a whale when I was pregnant with Hope." She grabbed the nail polish from Shay. "Can we do post-pancake pedicures tomorrow?"

"Ooh, sure," Shay agreed. "We haven't done that since that one party at your house," she added, looking to Frankie.

"Worst party _ever_ ," Frankie groaned, laughing.

"Yeah," Lola muttered, shaking her head. "Not my finest hour of decision-making." She sighed, but smiled. "At least Hope's cute, though."

Frankie looked up. "Hold on," she said. " _That_ was when you and Miles first hooked up?" She made a grossed out face. "God, I thought you just fell asleep in the guest room."

"Mm, nope," Lola shrugged quietly, blushing. She and Shay looked at each other and started laughing.

Frankie just shook her head. "Ugh," she muttered. "I'm really the only one here who's _still_ a virgin."

"Trust me, it's not something you should rush," Lola sighed. "I'm living proof of that."

Frankie bit her lip, her cheeks turning red. "Can you guys keep a secret?"

Lola and Shay nodded immediately.

"I went down on Zig in the pool house a couple weeks ago," Frankie said, trying to keep from laughing. Her cheeks were scarlett red.

" _Eww_ ," Shay laughed. "Esme probably gave him like, a million STD's."

Lola just shook her head laughing. "I went down on Tiny a couple of times, but I wasn't that good at it."

Shay quickly turned to Lola, a horrified look on her face. " _What_?"

Now Lola's cheeks turned red too. "Ah, sorry-- TMI," she cringed, staring at the prom picture again. "It was... well, it was around our six-month. _Way_ before you two were dating."

"But you told me you never did it with him!" Shay said, still looking disgusted.

"Not _it-it_ ," Lola said quickly, not looking at her. "Miles was my first. Tiny was just... that was just messing around. It was completely different with Miles." She pulled out her phone, pretending to be busy. She'd spilled way too much info, she knew.

Frankie shook her head, looking equally grossed out. "Okay-- no offense Lo, but I don't want to hear about you and my brother having sex any more than Shay wants to hear about you giving her boyfriend head back in the day."

"Shay!" a voice suddenly called from downstairs. " _Pizza's here!"_

"Good timing!" Lola said, immediately hopping off the bed.

Shay paused. "Um, you might want to wait up here for a second, Lo." She bit her lip. "I forgot to mention to my parents that you were here too."

Lola looked at her in confusion. Shay's parents had always liked her. She hadn't seen them in a long time, but there had never been any drama before. "Why, what's the big deal?"

Shay sighed, looking uncomfortable. "Well," she said, staring awkwardly the floor. "They just... they sort of think you're a bad influence."

Lola just stared at her. "What, because of Hope?" she said, a little offended.

"Well... yeah," Shay said. She shrugged apologetically. "It's just, ever since I told them you got pregnant, they've been weird about me hanging out with you."

"And yet, they let you go camping alone with your boyfriend?" Lola scoffed. She was so sick of all the judgment, all the snide comments, the disapproval-- from the kids at school, the teachers, Miles' parents, her neighbors and relatives. She even got glares from random people at the grocery store sometimes when she was out with Hope. It wasn't like she was the only teenager in the world who'd ever had sex. It didn't seem fair that everyone wanted to punish her for her choice to keep the baby.

Shay sighed. "Lo, come on. It's no big deal. Just wait here for a minute."

Lola shook her head. "No," she said. "I'm not gonna hide out. Your parents can say whatever they want about me, but I'm... I'm not ashamed." She opened an oomfchat from Miles and smiled, looking at the silly picture of Hope with the panda filter on. "And I'm not ever going to treat my daughter like something to hide."

Frankie shrugged at Shay, as if to agree that Lola had a point.

"Okay," Shay sighed. "Let's just go eat."

Lola nodded. "Sounds good," she said, smiling again. "Let me just call and check in on Hope one more time first."


	51. Man of the House

Sorry it took a bit to get back to the Mr. H drama-- whenever I'm about to write an intense chapter, I try not to rush it too much and also include some lighter ones so it doesn't get overwhelmingly dark/melodramatic. Thanks for your patience with the uploads and definitely keep reviewing!! xx

 **Man of the House**

The next morning, Miles read the paper at the kitchen table as Hope sat next to him in her baby carrier, sucking quietly on her pacifier. Hope had slept through most of the night; she only woke up twice. Miles was pretty proud of himself-- he had gotten the hang of bottle-feeding and diapering her and he'd only had to call Lola for help once.

Miles turned to the baby and smiled. "I'd say Daddy did a pretty good job last night, don't you think?"

Hope spit out her pacifier and threw up a little, getting gunk all over her onesie. "Oh no," Miles sighed, scooping her into his arms. "Guess I'll have to change your outfit again."

Miles walked up the stairs to the nursery, cradling the baby over his shoulder in her blanket. He stopped outside of the master bedroom, hearing his mother on the phone:

"Yes, I already let the maid and the chef go. We've got savings until the bank unfreezes your account." There was a pause. "That's what I told him, yes. If he wants to keep the money for that baby, he's going to have to defend you. _Of course_ he'll do it. No... no he doesn't know about that." Another pause. "Honestly, I wish you had just told me about your little problem in the first place. Instead of smuggling the money from the government funds to pay for the coke... And I used to wonder where Miles got his issues from."

Miles' stomach dropped. His father, a coke addict? _That's_ why he had gotten caught up in these financial crimes? Holy shit. And Miles thought _he_ was the screwup of the family.

Mrs. Hollingsworth continued:

"That... that seems to be the only way. We'll have to stick to the story you came up with-- the drugs were Miles' and you had no clue he was storing them in your apartment... chalk it up to a family matter..."

Miles couldn't stand it any longer. Still carrying Hope, he swung the door open to catch his mom in the act. "What the _hell_?" he shouted.

Mrs. Hollingsworth dropped the phone, her face white as a ghost. "M--Miles... I... I didn't know you were here." She started to cry.

But Miles wasn't going to fall for that. "Don't give me any of that crap," he said angrily. "So, that's it, then? You were just going to throw me under the bus?" Hope started to whimper-- Miles bounced her up and down, sighing. "Is your money really more important to you then your own _children_?" He was shaking, he was so angry.

Mrs. H was sobbing now. "Miles," she pleaded. "Miles, you don't-- you don't understand. You don't know the whole story."

Miles just scoffed. "What else could there possibly be?"

Mrs. H glanced back and forth between Miles and Hope. "You know how your father can be," she said quietly, her voice trembling. "But... there are things I never told you." She unrolled her sleeves, revealing a string of dark purple bruises.

Miles sat next to her on the bed, feeling woozy. Suddenly, his mother looked very small-- fragile, even. "Mom," he whispered, his voice gentler now. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Mrs. H sighed. "You're just a child still," she said to Miles. She looked over at Hope. "...even if you do have a baby of your own now. Miles, it's not just that. He's... he's threatening to come after our family if you don't testify in his favor. He could... he could hurt you or Hunter or Frankie or..." She started to sob again. "He could hurt the baby."

Miles held Hope in his lap and let his mother cry into his shoulder. His head felt like it was spinning a million miles an hour. "We can't let him get away with this," he said quietly. " _Any_ of it. He can rot in prison, for all I care."

Mrs. H looked up. "But.. the money..."

Miles shook his head angrily. "Oh who _gives a damn_ about the money?" he said. "We can fight for it, okay? And... I'm gonna get a job... and we have savings and..." He sighed, looking down at Hope. "There has to be another way."

Mrs. H was still crying. "I don't know, honey," she said. She sighed, wiping her eyes. "I just don't know."

"If I let dad say the drugs are mine," Miles said, "I could lose Hope. I mean, Lola and I don't have a custody arrangement or anything, they could take her away from us..." His heart was pounding.

"Oh Miles, I doubt that," Mrs. H said.

"But it's a _risk_ ," Miles insisted. He sighed, holding Hope closer to him. "It's like... either way, I'm fucked." He felt the rage boil inside him deeper and deeper. He _hated_ his father, more than he thought it was humanly possible to. Like he wouldn't give a shit if he never saw him again, if he got run over by a bus tomorrow. He needed his dad out of his life, out of his family's.

"I'm going to do whatever I have to do," Miles said quietly. "To protect you. _Both_ of you." He squeezed his mom's hand and kissed Hope on her forehead.


	52. Just Give Me a Reason

Glad you guys are into the Mr. H storyline. Poor Miles :( I'm trying to balance the Hollingsworth drama with baby stuff and Mola.. Some more twists coming up later. As always, please leave a review! xx

 **Just Give Me a Reason**

That Sunday night, Miles and Lola gave Hope a bath in the sink. Lola sang to the baby as she bathed her, trying to keep her happy. She was still so tiny. "Can you pass me the soapy?" she said to Miles, making a silly face at Hope.

"Um, the _what_?" Miles laughed, handing her the baby soap.

Lola's cheeks turned red with embarrassment. "Ugh, sorry," she muttered. "I've been talking baby talk all day." She scrubbed Hope with the bar of soap. "Isn't that right?" she cooed.

Miles couldn't help but grin as he watched Lola tend to Hope. She was so in her element, so good with the baby. She was a natural at being a mom, even if she didn't know it yet.

" _There_ ," Lola said, lifting Hope out of the sink and wrapping her in her little towel. She kissed her forehead. "All done!" She nestled the baby against her shoulder, cradling her gently.

Miles gave Hope a little smile, then turned to clean out the sink. He hadn't said much all evening.

"You're quiet tonight," Lola said to Miles, still cradling Hope on her shoulder. She looked at him worriedly. "Everything okay?"

Miles sighed. He hadn't told Lola much about the situation with his dad-- he didn't want to worry her, especially when she was still adjusting to taking care of a newborn. "Yeah, it's just... my dad."

"Yeah," Lola said quietly. She bit her lip. "When's the trial?"

Miles tugged at his collar nervously. "A couple weeks," he muttered.

Lola nodded, drying Hope off. "Are you okay? We haven't really... well, you haven't really told me anything."

Miles just sighed, eyes fixated on Hope. "It's nothing you need to worry about," he said, his face pale. "I don't want you to get caught up in my stupid family drama."

Lola frowned. "Miles, I _am_ part of your family," she said, looking over at the baby. Hope let out a little cooing noise, waving her tiny fingers towards Miles.

Miles took Hope into his arms. "That's not what I meant," he muttered. "Look, I just don't feel like talking about it, okay?"

Lola didn't look at him. "Why do you always do this?"

"What do you mean?" Miles asked.

"Shut me out," Lola sighed. "You keep everything bottled up. You never let me in all the way."

Hope started to get fussy again. Miles bounced her up and down gently. "That's not true," Miles snapped instinctively, even though he had to admit Lola had a point.

Lola sighed and took Hope back and started walking towards the bedroom. "You know it is," Lola muttered, changing the baby into her pajamas. "You should be able to trust me. I mean we have a _baby_ together, for godssakes."

Miles took a seat on Lola's bed, his hands shaking. He looked at the baby and sighed. He needed to do whatever it took to protect her. "There's drugs involved," he finally said. "With.. with my dad. He was using the funds to pay for coke." He shook his head, still not looking at Lola. "Guess that's where I get my issues from," he muttered.

Lola put Hope in her bassinet and sat down next to Miles. "Whoa," she said, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry Miles, that's... that's really intense." She leaned into his chest.

Miles put his arm around her. "My parents want me to lie under oath," he said, barely getting the words out. "They want me to say the drugs are mine. So my dad can get a lesser sentence."

Lola looked up at him. " _No_ ," she said immediately, a horrified look on her face. "No way!"

"I know, I know," Miles groaned. He took a deep breath. "But my dad... he's threatening to come after our family if I don't. He's already hurt my mom. He could come after me or the twins or you or... or Hope." He slumped his head down. "I don't know how to protect us," he admitted, almost tearing up.

Lola held him in her arms, trying to process all of this. "No," she said again. "No, we can't let him get away with this. Miles, you've got to tell the truth. You've got to tell the court who your dad really _is_."

"Who would believe me?" Miles sighed.

"I would," Lola said. "So would Frankie. And Hunter. And anyone who knows you." She sighed deeply. "Look, it's not fair for your mom to just throw you under the bus like that. I get that you want to protect her, but I won't let this happen." She grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes. "We've got to fight this. Together."

Miles leaned into her. "I'd rather me get hurt than the baby," he murmured.

"Nobody is going to get hurt, okay?" Lola said. "Your dad doesn't even know where I live. He's never even met Hope. And besides... I need you. I can't let you take the fall for this. I can't do this alone, Miles. Hope and I _need_ you."

Miles looked up, nodding quietly. "You really think we can fight this?" he said.

"We have to," Lola insisted. She leaned in and kissed him hard.

Just then, the baby started to cry again. Lola groaned, starting to get up.

"I got her," Miles said before Lola had time to stand up. He held the crying baby in his arms, rocking her back and forth gently. "Shh, it's okay," he whispered. "Daddy's got you."

Lola smiled watching the two of them. Nothing made her happier than seeing Miles and Hope bond like this. "You're such a good dad," she said softly to him.

Miles smiled back as the baby stopped crying. He brought Hope over to Lola on the bed and sat down next to them.

"Oh-- I almost forgot," Lola said suddenly, taking the baby into her arms. "Hope's got her first doctor's appointment next week." She held the baby against her chest. "Hard to believe our little girl is already almost a month old."

Miles sat up. "Already?" he said, eyes wide.

"Well, she's three weeks today," Lola smiled, rubbing her back gently. She laughed softly. "Crazy, huh?"

Miles shook his head laughing. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around us being _parents_ ," he said. "I was just starting to get used to you being pregnant," he laughed.

Lola slugged him playfully. "Well, I'm certainly glad _that_ part is over," she said, carrying Hope to her basinnet. "As cute as Hope is... I don't want to have to go through that again until I'm like, 30. At least."

"No kidding," Miles said. He laid down as Lola joined him on the bed. He climbed on top of her slowly, kissing her neck. "I do miss doing _this,_ though," he whispered, smirking.

Lola rolled her eyes, but let him keep kissing her neck. "Don't even _think_ about coming near me without a condom," she laughed.

Miles raised his eyebrows. "Well, you know... Hope's down for the night and your dad's still not home." He winked at her.

Lola sat up, shaking her head but smiling. "I need to shower," she said. She smirked at him. " _But_ if you promise to change the next diaper, maybe I'll let you join me."

Miles grinned, getting up to join her. "Who could say no to _that_ offer?"


	53. Shot in the Dark

Thank you again for your reviews; I really appreciate the long ones especially. I hope you guys feel like there's a good balance between baby stuff and other plot points like the Mr. H drama (which I'm glad has been well-received)! This chapter is fairly light, but I have some really interesting ideas of where to take Lola's character soon... xx

 **Shot in the Dark**

The next week, Lola grabbed the diaper bag and finished getting the baby dressed for her doctor's appointment. Hope was wearing the same little pink, flowery onesie Lola had spotted at the mall months ago. After he found out they were having a girl, Miles drove to that same department store and searched for two hours to find the onesie. He'd surprised Lola with it when they first brought Hope home from the hospital.

Lola's phone rang. "Hello?" she answered, putting Hope's little shoes on.

"Hey babe," Miles said. "Look, I'm really sorry to bail like this, but I have to meet with some lawyers for the trial. It's kinda urgent."

Lola took a deep breath. "Okay," she sighed, scooping the baby into her arms. "I guess I understand. But how am I supposed to take Hope to her doctor's appointment?" Even though she was about to turn 17, she didn't have her license yet. She had planned to get it last year, but the whole being pregnant thing kind of disrupted her plans. Besides, she didn't have a car and her dad could barely afford one as it was.

"Frankie will take you," Miles said. "She can pick you up in twenty." He sighed. "I'm really sorry."

Lola shrugged to herself. "No, I get it," she murmured. "Family stuff..."

"I'll come over this evening," Miles promised.

Lola waited for forty minutes, but Frankie still didn't show. She was annoyed, to say the least-- she didn't need _two_ Hollingsworths flaking on her in the same day. She was about to just give up and call an Uber when the doorbell finally rang.

Lola opened the door and was immediately surprised. " _Hunter_?"

"Frankie's sick," Hunter explained. "So _I've_ been summoned for baby duty," he shrugged, waving his car keys.

Lola bit her lip hesitantly. Even though he had sort of apologized, she still was kind of ticked at him for the way he had treated her when she was pregnant. "Look, you don't have to drive us all the way down there," she said, not looking at him. "I can just call an Uber or something."

"What? No, I'll take you," Hunter said. He smiled a tiny bit. "Don't worry, my music taste isn't _that_ bad."

Lola sighed, but smiled back a little. "Alright," she agreed, nestling the sleeping baby against her shoulder. "Let's go, then."

They didn't say much on the ride there. Everything seemed to be an awkward subject between them-- Mr. H, Yael, Miles, the baby. But Lola also knew she couldn't stay mad forever, especially considering they were almost-sort-of related now. "Thanks for taking me," she said finally in the waiting room. "You know you didn't have to come in, though. You

could have just dropped us off."

Hunter looked up from his gaming magazine. It was weird to be in the pediatrician wing-- everyone around them was either over thirty or under six. "Nah, it's fine," he shrugged, glancing at Hope, who was still sound asleep in Lola's arms. "All part of being an uncle, right?"

The doctor finally called them back. "Ugh, I'm nervous," Lola admitted quietly to Hunter. "She's supposed to get her first shot today."

Hunter looked down at the sleeping baby and sighed. "I'll come back with you if you want," he offered, shrugging awkwardly. "Maybe I can like... distract her or something."

Lola shook her head laughing a little. "Okay," she agreed. "Sure. I guess I could use the help."

The doctor, Dr. Chris, was pretty nice-- he didn't seem too judgey or anything. Lola had been worried she would get looked down on for being a teen mom. "Alright," he said when Hope had finally woken up. "Nice to meet you, Hope," he smiled, pressing his stethoscope to the baby's chest.

Hope fussed a little as the doctor took her measurements. "Shh, baby," Lola whispered, holding her close. She'd never felt so protective of anything in her life-- every time Hope seemed to be the slightest bit uncomfortable or sick or tired, Lola immediately wanted to fix it. It was crazy how in just a matter of months, Lola had gone from only really caring about makeup and volleyball to making this tiny little human the center of her universe.

"Looks like she's developing perfectly normally," Dr. Chris said, jotting something down on his chart. "Has she been sleeping through the night?"

"No," Lola sighed wearily. "Not really."

The doctor nodded. "Well, that's to be expected at this age," he said. "How's breast-feeding going?"

Hunter, who was just sitting awkwardly in the corner, turned a scarlett red as Lola talked to the doctor about nursing. Miles definitely owed him for this.

The doctor smiled at Hope, then turned to Lola and Hunter. "And how are _you two_ doing?" he asked. "I know teen parenting can obviously be pretty difficult."

Now Hunter and Lola both turned red. "Oh, no, we're not... this isn't..." Lola stammered, not looking at Hunter.

"I'm the uncle," Hunter piped up, cheeks still red.

"Oh," Dr. Chris said, looking equally embarrassed. "Okay. Um, is the father... in the picture, or--"

"Yeah," Lola said immediately. "Of course. Miles is great. He just couldn't make it today." She sighed, holding Hope tightly in her lap.

The doctor nodded at Lola. "Well, there's a local teen parent group I can give you the info for if you're interested," he offered. He pulled out a business card and handed it to her. "They meet Wednesday afternoons at the Dot."

Lola looked over the card. As intimidating as it was, it didn't seem like such a bad idea to meet more people who could understand what she was going through. As much as she loved Frankie and Shay, they just didn't get it. "Thanks," she said quietly, tossing the card into the diaper bag.

"Now for the least fun part," Dr. Chris sighed. He looked at Hope sympathetically. "Your first shot."

Lola winced. She hated getting shots herself, but she wasn't sure she could stand seeing Hope in pain. "Just... make it quick," she murmured, squeezing Hope's little fingers.

The doctor chuckled a little. "The parents are always more nervous than the kids," he said, getting the needle ready. "This will only take a second."

Lola didn't look as he gave Hope the shot. The baby immediately started wailing. "No, don't cry," Lola pleaded at the screaming infant, still wincing. "Please don't cry. It's okay baby, Mommy's here." She sighed, wishing Miles was there.

Hunter sat up. "Hey, Hope," he said in a low, gentle voice. "Look at me." He made a silly face at her and tickled her gently on her chin.

Just seconds later, Hope stopped crying. "How'd you _do_ that?" Lola cried, in shock.

Hunter just shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "She kind of likes me. God knows why," he laughed.

Dr. Chris shook his head laughing. "See, that wasn't so bad," he said.

"Yeah," Lola sighed, smiling at her happy baby. "Not bad at all."


	54. Trial and Error, Part 1

Sorry I haven't updated for a few days, was just busy with school! So I'm really eager to know your guys' thoughts on this chapter especially... Sort of a different plot than I'm used to writing, but I'm enjoying the Mr. H drama. I decided to break it into multiple parts so I could post something... xx

 **Trial and Error, Part 1**

Miles stood in front of the mirror, fastening his tie and looking back at his reflection nervously. Today was the day-- his dad's trial. If Miles was called to testify, he would have to make the choice between defending his father or telling the truth. He knew what his mom wanted him to do, and he was sure his siblings wouldn't exactly be keen on shipping their dad off to prison. Miles himself was still conflicted. After a lot of late night tossing and turning, he'd decided that he would do whatever it was he needed to do to protect the people he loved-- even if that meant throwing his dad or himself under the bus.

Lola walked into her bathroom where Miles was getting ready. She was wearing a nice blue dress and flats-- her baby weight was still sort of there, but she'd lost some of it and was starting to look more like her old self again. She carried Hope in arms, struggling to cradle the squirmy baby against her shoulder. "Hey," she said quietly, giving Miles a peck on the cheek. "You look handsome."

Miles smiled a little and then took Hope into his arms. He held the baby close, just appreciating how tiny she was and how soft her skin felt. She really was his whole world.

"Are you sure you want to come with me today?" Miles asked Lola, rocking Hope back and forth.

Lola nodded. "Of course," she said. "My dad's going to watch Hope. And besides... I want to be there for you. I need to." She fussed over him, fixing his tie.

"You know, the press is probably going to be hounding us," Miles sighed. "But don't be intimidated by them."

Lola let go of his tie. "Can't be any worse than walking around school pregnant," she laughed. She took a deep breath. "It's going to be okay, Miles," she said gently. "I promise."

Miles smiled a tiny bit. "We've been through a hell of a lot together, haven't we?"

"No kidding," Lola said, taking the baby back in her arms.

Miles gave Lola a peck on the cheek. "I'll go start the car," he said. He gave Hope a little handshake, holding her tiny fingers. "See you soon, baby," he cooed, kissing her hand.

As soon as they arrived at the courthouse to meet they rest of the Hollingsworth family, the press swarmed them. "Miles, Miles, what can you tell me about your dad?" "Miles, do you think he's guilty?" "Lola, where's the baby at?" Miles just walked straight through, holding his arm around Lola and not making eye contact with any reporters. He was used to this.

"Hey," Frankie greeted them inside, handing Miles a coffee. Since Lola was nursing, she still couldn't have any. "You feeling okay?" she asked her brother.

Miles barely looked at his sister. "Not... not really," he admitted. He sighed. "Franks, you know I don't do drugs anymore, right?"

Frankie looked at him in confusion. "Yeah, of course," she said quietly. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

Miles just shrugged, not wanting to dump too much baggage on his younger siblings. "Nothing, just... if I get called to testify and they question my character--"

"Miles, of course I'll back you up," Frankie said right away. "We're _family_."

Miles gulped, knowing that the word "family" applied to his father too. "Y-yeah," he said, faking a weak smile. "Of course."

"Well, we'd better get seated," Lola piped up, checking her watch. "Proceedings are about to start."

Miles and his dad immediately locked eyes as they filed into the courtroom. Miles felt his palms get shaky as the trial began. Lola sensed his nervousness and held his hand tightly, rubbing her fingers against his reassuringly.

The judge announced the charges Mr. H was up against: embezzlement, bribery, extortion, and possession of cocaine. Frankie and Hunter looked startled at the drug relevation, as did the reporters in the room. Somehow, that bit of information hadn't been leaked to the press.

Mrs. H was called to testify first. She talked about how hard these last couple of years had been for their family-- their separation, Hunter's battle with depression, Miles' addiction struggles, and Lola and Miles having a baby. Miles frowned. He hated being used as a prop like this. Mrs. H maintained that her husband was a good man, just overwhelmed by family problems. That the financial crimes had probably been an error, that she couldn't imagine him threatening anyone, and that she had never seen him do drugs in his whole life.

"Mrs. Hollingsworth," the prosecution attorney said, "if your husband is as drug-free as you say, then why did we find nearly 5 oz in his apartment?"

Miles took a deep breath. Mrs. H gulped and looked back and forth between Mr. H and Miles. She stared directly at Miles and simply shrugged, "I'm not sure."

Miles breathed a sigh of relief. At least his mom hadn't _completely_ thrown him under the bus.

"The defense would like to call Miles Hollingsworth the third to the stand."

Miles' heart nearly stopped. He felt like he was going to pass out, his hands and legs were shaking so much. Lola squeezed his hand reassuringly as he stood up, looking equally scared as he walked to the stand.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Hollingsworth," the attorney said. She was a tall, fair-skinned woman in her thirties or forties, sporting thick glasses and a short haircut that made her cheekbones pop out rather unflatteringly.

"Good afternoon," Miles gulped, resisting the urge to tug at his tie.


	55. Trial and Error: Part 2

So glad you guys like the Mr. H drama! The fic definitely won't be all baby-centric... Lola has some interesting storylines coming up soon too. I do plan to show some more of their parenting struggles though, thanks for pointing out that it would make the story more realistic. Nice to see some of my old regular reviewers back. As always let me know what you think xx

 **Trial and Error: Part 2**

Miles stood at the stand, his hands shaking so much he felt like they were about to fall off. He thought back to Zoe's trial sophomore year, when he had asked Winston to lie under oath to protect his relationship with Maya. _Goddamn, he was selfish back then_ , he thought to himself. This situation was different though-- there was no easy answer, no clear-cut way to protect his family.

"Mr. Hollingsworth," the attorney said, clearing his throat, "is it true that you've been addicted to drugs?"

Miles tugged at his collar, sweat dripping down his neck. "Well, er, yes," he admitted. "But I've been clean now for... for months. I don't do any of that anymore."

The attorney nodded skeptically, pursing his lips. "And have you ever relapsed?"

"Once or... or twice," Miles stammered, not making eye contact.

"And you've used cocaine before, correct?" the attorney continued.

Miles gulped. "Yes, but--"

"So then it wouldn't be a stretch to say you could've... perhaps... _stored_ these drugs at your father's, maybe?" the attorney said.

" _What_?" Miles snapped.

The other attorney stood up. "Objection!" she said. "Insufficient evidence."

The judge sighed. "Sustained."

Miles locked eyes with his father's attorney. "I don't know how to make this any clearer to you," he said, gritting his teeth. "I. _Don't_. Do. Drugs. Anymore." He slammed his fist on the stand angrily. _Calm down, calm down_ , he told himself.

"And you seem to have a history of impulsive behavior," the attorney continued. "Expelled from boarding school. Hit and run. A couple of suspensions. And don't you have a baby as well?"

Miles frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Yes or no?" the attorney said. "Do you or do you not have a child out of wedlock?"

" _Yes_ , I have a one-month old daughter," Miles snapped. "But what does that prove?" He glanced at his dad. "Unlike _some_ , I'm _actually_ a decent father."

The attorney crossed his arms. "Would you say you have a good father?" he asked.

Miles looked into the stands. He glanced at his mother's nervous face and the twins' blank, solemn expressions. And then he saw Lola, looking the most scared of all. She was so young. She was right-- she couldn't raise Hope on her own. She needed Miles. He needed to put his daughter first here.

Miles looked down. "No," he said quietly.

The attorney bit his lip. "And why is that?"

Miles looked at Lola again. "He-- he's never been there for me. For any of us." He sighed. "He abused me. He slammed me against a wall a few times. He threw a coffee mug and my brother and me... Why do you think our mother _threw him out_?"

The attorney asked the court to bring forth two exhibits. "These pictures suggest otherwise," he said. He handed Miles the family portraits they took two years ago during the campaign, along with the pictures the press took of them out for golf that one time.

Miles just shook his head, almost laughing. "These pictures don't tell you anything," he said. "If we're so close, then why has been living in a separate apartment for almost two years? Why does the press never see him out with me or my siblings? Why didn't he give me any financial help for the baby?" He took a deep breath. "Look," he said. "I'm not a perfect son. There's no denying that. But those drugs _aren't mine_." He made eye contact with his dad, who looked nervous. "I would never jeapordize my child like that."

The attorney merely nodded. "No further questions at this time," he said.

Miles took his seat next to Lola. She hugged him so tight, he thought he was going to burst open. "I'm so proud of you," she whispered.

His mother got up just then. "Excuse me," she said, walking out the door.

Miles let go of Lola's hand. "Hang on," he muttered, getting up. He ran after his mom. "What are you _doing_?" he cried in the hallway.

Mrs. H didn't look at him, tears streaming down her face. "He's going to go to prison," she sobbed frantically. "He's going to go to prison or he's going to _kill_ you or me or--"

Miles grabbed her shoulders. "Hey, hey, _easy_ ," he said, trying to calm her down.

Mrs. H still cried. "Why didn't you just say the drugs were yours?"

Miles just shook his head. "Because that's not the truth," he said. "You _know_ it's not." He looked his mom in the eye, hands on her shoulders. "Listen to me," he said firmly. "Whatever happens to dad, we will get _through_ this. Together."

Later that afternoon, Miles, Lola, Frankie, and Hunter all sat in the courthouse awaiting the verdict. The twins had both been called to testify-- Frankie didn't say anything negative about Mr. H, but she maintained that Miles was clean and sober now. Hunter, to Miles' surprise, admitted that his father had thrown a coffee mug at him and Miles a couple of years ago. But he refused to say he was a bad father.

"God," Hunted muttered. "Just when I thought our family couldn't get any more screwed up, our dad might be going to prison."

"We don't know that for sure," Frankie said quietly. She sighed, resting her head on Lola.

"It'll be okay, you guys," Lola tried to reassure them. She squeezed Miles' hand tightly.

Mrs. H came in. "They're about to issue the verdict," she said tensely, motioning for them to join her. They filed into the room one by one, beyond nervous.

"After careful consideration," the judge announced, looking to the jury. "The court finds Mayor Miles Hollingsworth the second guilty of two counts drug possession and embezzlement. We conclude that there is insufficient evidence to prove bribery and extortion." He paused. "I sentence Mr. Hollingsworth to five years in maximum-security prison, beginning today, eligible for parole in two years..."

Miles' heart nearly stopped. He just sat there, completely frozen. He had no idea how he felt. On one hand, his father was finally out of his life for a few years... on the other hand, his father was, well, out of his life. Even though it was a huge relief for Miles, he also knew it would be devastating for his family.

Frankie and Mrs. H both started to cry. Hunter just looked completely numb, staring off into space.

Miles got up and excused himself, needing to catch some air. Lola followed him.

She hugged him tight. "He's gone, Miles," she whispered. "He can't hurt you anymore."

"I know," Miles whispered. "I know." He fell into Lola's arms and collapsed on the floor sobbing.


	56. Growing Pains

Since the last couple of chapters were Miles' POV and centered around the arrest, I figured I'd switch back to some baby stuff here to balance it out. Hope is six weeks now. More storylines coming up. Please keep reviewing! :) xx

 **Growing Pains**

Lola opened her eyes sleepily, woken up by Hope for what felt like the hundredth time that night. It was early-- no later than 5 a.m. Hope had woken up nearly every hour wanting to be fed.

" _Again_?" Lola groaned, grumpily getting out bed. She took the screaming baby in her arms and settled into the rocking chair. She sighed as she nursed her-- she was starting to feel like a cow.

When Hope was all done nursing and she'd been burped, Lola set her back in her bassinet. "Just sleep for a little while," Lola pleaded, beyond exhausted. "Please? Mommy really needs to sleep."

Lola collapsed on the mattress. Between being pregnant and then having a newborn, she hadn't gotten a truly good night's sleep in almost a year.

" _WAAAH!"_

 _Dammit_. Lola sprang out of bed and rushed over to Hope. She felt like crying too, she was so exhausted.

"What's the matter?" Lola cried, holding the screaming infant. "You just ate, I burped you, your diaper doesn't need to be changed... what could it possibly be?"

Lola cradled Hope back and forth in the rocking chair, but she only screamed louder. Lola started sobbing along with her for real this time-- she was just so tired.

Mr. Pacini came in. " _Mija_ , it's five in the morning!" he cried, clearly just woken up.

"I'm sorry, Dad," Lola said, still crying. "I've tried _everything,_ but she just won't stop crying!"

Mr. Pacini sighed. "Let me take her for a second," he offered, gently taking the baby from Lola's arms. He rocked her back and forth and rubbed her back. Gradually, her cries grew softer and softer. He shrugged at Lola, handing Hope back to her. "Sometimes, they just cry for no reason," he said, chuckling a little. "You were like this too."

Lola looked down at Hope, who was now all quiet and peaceful, and started to cry again. "How am I supposed to do this?" she cried.

"Do what?" her father said.

Lola sighed, cradling Hope against her chest. "This whole motherhood thing," she said. "I'm only in high school Dad, and I have to be in charge of a whole other human." She sobbed. "I mean, I love Hope. I love her so much. But..." She wiped her eyes. "Sometimes I feel like I'm too young for this."

Mr. Pacini took a seat on Lola's bed. "You're doing just fine," he said quietly, trying to reassure her. He sighed. "But honestly Mija, I've been feeling guilty over all this. I should have... I should have talked to you more about you know, boys and dating and... well, protection... like condoms and --"

"Ew, dad," Lola said, laughing a little. "Don't say _condoms."_

Mr. Pacini shook his head. "You know what I meant," he said, smiling softly. "It was hard, you know, to watch you go through this. When you first told me you were pregnant, I... I didn't want to believe it." He sighed. "Sometimes I think if your mom had still been around... she would-- she would know what to do, how to talk to you about these things."

Lola just shook her head. "I don't need her," she said. "Mom chose to walk out of our lives, I don't-- I don't care anymore." She bit her lip. "And Dad, just so you know-- I didn't sleep with a bunch of guys or date like, every boy at Degrassi." She rubbed Hope's back. "It just.. just kinda happened with Miles."

Mr. Pacini nodded quietly. "I know who you are, Mija," he said. He glanced over at the sleeping baby. "And well... these things happen," he sighed. He gave her a little pat on the shoulder and then walked towards the door, yawning. "Try to get some sleep, okay?" He shut the door gently behind him, careful not to wake Hope again.

Lola sat in the rocking chair, just looking at the baby. Her mind flashed back to several months ago when she had first felt Hope kick:

 _Lola and Miles sat on the grass at lunch doing homework together. They weren't dating back then, but they'd been getting closer since her breakup with Saad._

 _"There it is!" Lola cried, reaching for Miles' hand. "Did you feel that kick?"_

 _Miles looked down at her belly and frowned. "Er, no," he admitted._

 _Lola bit her lip. "How about that one?" she asked a couple of minutes later, pressing his hand against her belly again. "You_ had _to have felt that one!"_

 _Miles shrugged. "Still don't feel it," he said._

 _Lola sighed loudly. "This is ridiculous," she said. "The baby is kicking away and you claim you've only felt it like, once."_

 _"Sorry," Miles cried, laughing a little. "I'm trying, I swear to God." He paused. "Wait._ That one _. I felt that one!"_

 _Lola slugged him playfully. "_ Finally _!" she cried._

Lola snapped back into reality as Hope squirmed in her arms, kicking her little feet. "Awake again already?" Lola sighed, shaking her head at the baby. At the very least, she wasn't fussing again. "Alright," Lola said quietly, yawning. "How about we just sit here together for a little while, yeah? Just you and me." She held Hope tight, rocking her back and forth. "You're so loved, you know that?" she whispered. "Daddy and I love you so much. And we're going to do everything we can to be good parents." She looked into Hope's beautiful little green eyes-- they looked just like Miles'. "But we're going to need your help here," she continued quietly to the baby. "Do you think you can work with Mama? Can we... can we be a team here?"

Suddenly, Hope's lips curved into a tiny smile. Lola gasped, a tear streaming down her face. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. _Her first smile_.

Lola smiled back at her. "I think we make a pretty good team," she cooed to the baby.


	57. Your Rock

What did you guys think of the outcome of the trial? To answer one reviewer's question, yes, school will be starting again very soon which will bring on a whole new heap of challenges heh heh xx

 **Your Rock**

Miles woke up one late August morning to a loud crashing noise coming from the kitchen. "The hell.." he muttered groggily. " _Frankie..._? _Hunter_..?" he shouted.

He raced down the stairs in nothing but his pajama pants and slippers, not bothering to throw a shirt on. "Hunter, what the hell!"

Hunter was standing over the kitchen sink, shattering glasses one by one. He slammed another one into the counter angrily, his eyes red with rage.

"Hey, hey, _easy_ , buddy," Miles said, cautiously approaching him. It always scared him when his brother got like this. Even with the therapy and medication Hunter was on, he still had occasional rage episodes like this. Miles remembered how his brother had looked the night he brought a gun to the school dance, breaking down in Miles' arms and sobbing vulnerably in a way he never did with _anyone_. Miles had never quite gotten that image out of his head.

"Oh, who gives a shit!" Hunter said, breaking another glass. "Dad's gone, Yael's gone, everyone's just fucking _gone_! It doesn't matter what I do because everyone just _fucking leaves_!"

Miles grabbed the glass out of Hunter's hands. "Not me," he said. "I'm not leaving."

Hunter didn't look at him. "Why'd you have to bring up the mug incident to the court? Why... why couldn't you just take the fall for the drugs?"

"Because they _weren't mine_ ," Miles said, trying to keep a calm voice. "Look, I have a daughter now, okay? I have to be here for her, I can't just let them ship me off to... to jail or rehab or whatever..." He wiped sweat off his forehead. "And anyway, Dad was hurting Mom. Pretty bad. He shouldn't be around her, around any of us."

Hunter finally looked at him. "Like... hitting her?"

Miles shrugged. "I dunno," he said quietly. He sighed. "Look, I know it sucks not having a dad. I _get_ that. But he was _not good_ for our family."

Hunter stared down at the floor, suddenly realizing how much glass he had broken. "Fuck," he muttered. "Mom's going to kill me for this."

"Don't worry about it," Miles sighed, rummaging around for a broom. "I got it."

Miles' cell went off just then. "Hey, baby," he answered. "Yeah, sure. No problem. I'll be over in a few. I can take her to run errands with me." He hung up. "Lola needs to catch some sleep," he said to his brother, sweeping up the glass. "So I'm gonna take Hope for a few hours. Are you gonna be okay?"

Hunter shrugged. "Yeah, probably won't blow up the house or anything while you're gone."

Miles' expression dropped.

" _Kidding_!" Hunter cried, taking the broom from him. "Geez."

When Miles got to Lola's house, she and the baby were already sitting outside on the doorstep waiting for him. Lola had Hope all bundled up in her car seat with her blanket, hat, and pacifier.

Lola fussed over the baby as Miles picked up the car seat. "Now, I just fed her so she shouldn't be hungry for a couple of more hours," she told Miles. "I packed three bottles of formula in the diaper bag along with a backup outfit and some extra diapers. Now, she just started doing this thing where--"

Miles smiled as he listened to Lola instruct him, nodding politely but really just focused on her cute expression. She was so serious when she talked about the baby, but she still looked a little like a baby herself, with her blue pigtails and pink sweater and baby cheeks Miles loved so much.

Lola caught her breath, finally all talked out. "So, you think you can handle her for the morning?"

"Of course," Miles said, smiling. "I am the dad, you know."

Lola sighed, squeezing Hope's little fingers gently. "I hate being apart from her," she said. "But I just really need some sleep."

Miles nodded. "Well, it's good for her to get used to being with me more," he said. "We'll have to do this anyway in a few weeks, you know, when school starts."

Lola groaned. " _School_ ," she said, like it was some foreign word. "I'd completely forgotten about _school_." She sighed again. "Well, I'll see you soon, sweetheart," she cooed to Hope. "Thank you, Miles." She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss, waving goodbye as she went inside.

Miles buckled Hope into her car seat and started the engine. "So," he grinned to the baby, glancing in his rear view mirror. "How's it going?"

Hope sucked on her pacifier, shaking her tiny fist like she was waving.

Miles smiled. "So, Daddy's just got a few errands to run," he continued, like Hope could actually comprehend what he was saying. "We just need to stop by some of the places I applied to."

His mom had access to some of the family money, but it was messy since a lot of the accounts were in his dad's name. Miles had decided it would be best if he put off college until spring semester and spent some time earning a few pay checks instead.

He and Hope stopped by each of the places he'd applied to-- the Dot, the post office, a couple of coffee shops. But no luck. Nobody seemed to be up for hiring the disgraced ex-mayor's son.

Frustrated and starving, Miles pulled over at Lola's Cantina for some lunch. "Come on, Hope," he sighed, lifting her out of her car seat. "Let's grab some food from Grandpa's."

As Miles waited to be seated, several girl came up and fussed over Hope. Miles would be lying if he said he didn't appreciate the attention-- somehow having a baby made him an instant chick magnet.

"Oh, she's so adorable," one woman cooed. "How old is she?"

"Seven-- no, eight wee-" Miles stumbled on his words. "Two months."

"Oh, just look at that _smile_!" another girl cried as Hope gurgled happily. "Is she your little sister?"

Miles shook his head laughing. "Mm, nope, she's my daughter," he said awkwardly, blushing.

"Ah! I didn't know my granddaughter was stopping by!"

Miles handed the baby over to Mr. Pacini. "I was just hoping to grab some food real quick," Miles said, hardly making eye contact. He still wasn't sure what Lola's dad thought of him.

"Relax," Mr. Pacini chuckled. "I'm not going to slap you or something." He shook his head laughing at Miles' nervousness.

Miles shrugged, eyes fixated on Hope, who was sucking her thumb happily. "I was just out job-hunting," he explained. "No luck, though. Tough break being a teen father, huh?"

Mr. Pacini handed Hope back to Miles. "Well, you know," he said thoughtfully. "Lola tells me you did a good job as a waiter here last year and we do have an opening."

Miles' eyes lit up. "You'd really hire me?" he asked, smiling but in disbelief. "I mean.. after all I put Lola through?" He laughed nervously.

Mr. Pacini shrugged. "You also gave me my granddaughter, though," he said, smiling at the baby. "And babies are expensive." He sighed. "So, what do you say?"

"Uh, _yes_!" Miles said. "Of-- of course! When can I start?"

Mr. Pacini smiled. "How about tomorrow," he said. "5:30 sharp. Don't be late."

"Great," Miles said, bouncing Hope up and down against his shoulder. "See you tomorrow evening, then."

Mr. Pacini snorted. " _Evening_?" he said, laughing. "Oh, no no no. 5:30 in the _morning_."

Miles' expression dropped. "Oh, uh, right," he said quietly. He sighed, pulling Hope closer to him. _She was worth it._ "See you tomorrow, sir." He shook his hand awkwardly. "Thank you."


	58. Back To School

Wow, I love being on break from school and actually having time to write xD Please please let me know what you guys think of the latest chapters. Hope is about 2 and a half months now xx

 **Back to School**

Lola finished the last of her makeup, changed into cute floral dress, and threw her curly blue hair into a little ponytail. She glanced at herself in the mirror, smoothing her hands over her dress. She sighed-- she would probably never get her pre-baby body back. Last year, she had been known as "that pregnant girl." This year, she would probably just be known as "that girl with the baby." But now she wouldn't have Miles by her side every day at school to get through it.

Like clockwork, Hope started to cry again. "Coming, coming," Lola said hurriedly, rushing over to the bassinet. She sighed. "Guess I need to change you again, huh?" she said, putting the baby on the change table. She quickly put a fresh diaper on Hope and slipped her into one of her onesies. The onesie barely fit her anymore-- Lola made a mental note to go shopping for new outfits. Hope was still pretty small--tinier than Lola had expected for a Hollingsworth kid, anyway-- but she was growing and changing more and more every day. Her lashes were full and thick, her hair was coming in darker and curlier, and she was smiling and cooing more. Everyone said the baby looked just like Lola, but Lola thought she looked more like Miles. Nevertheless, she was certainly a blend of the two-- already, Lola could see her own bubbly personality in her but with a little touch of Miles' strong spirit.

Lola kissed Hope's forehead. "Wish Mommy a good first day of school," she cooed. She sat in the rocking chair and cradled the tiny baby back and forth, sighing wistfully. "I wish I could take you with me," she said quietly. She knew she had to get her education and she was admittedly excited about getting back, but she still felt kind of guilty for leaving Hope. She still looked so little, so brand new-- it felt as if Lola had just had her a few days ago.

Hope smiled and made a little cooing noise. Lola smiled back as the the doorbell rang. "Oh, there's Daddy," she cooed, getting up and grabbing her backpack.

Miles greeted Lola with a kiss. "Morning," he said, taking Hope into his arms. "Excited for your first day of senior year?"

Lola laughed under her breath. "More like nervous," she said, her cheeks turning a slight red. "The last time everyone at school saw me, I was the size of a whale."

 _Honk!!!_

Frankie rolled down the window. "Come on you guys, let's _go_!" she cried. "We're going to be late!"

Frankie and Lola spent most of the car ride exchanging gossip. Well, mostly Frankie talked and Lola listened.

"I hear Jonah and Grace broke up," Frankie squealed, grinning.

"Why?" Lola asked, only half-paying attention. She handed Hope her pacifier and smoothed the edges of her blanket.

Frankie shrugged. "I don't know _exactly_ why," she said. "But apparently Jonah had some big secret he hid from Grace and she _totally flipped out._ "

"Hmm," Lola said, not really interested. She just wanted to get this day over with.

Miles pulled up to the front of the Degrassi and stopped the car. He got out and opened the car door for Lola, holding Hope in his arms so she could say goodbye to her.

A bunch of kids stared as Miles and Lola stood there by the car with their baby. _Here we go again,_ Lola sighed. _Just like last year_.

"You sure you'll be alright with the baby?" Lola said, looking at Miles worriedly.

"For the hundredth time, _yes_ ," he laughed. "Go. We'll be fine."

Lola nodded quietly. "Bye, baby," she whispered, kissing Hope's tiny fingers. She turned and kissed Miles hard, not caring who was watching.

Once Miles had left, Lola ran to catch up to Frankie but didn't see her anywhere. She found Shay standing on the top of the steps checking her phone. She looked lonely without Tiny. "Hey," Lola said, hugging her. "You okay?"

Shay smiled, but sighed. "I guess," she shrugged. "I just miss him, you know? California's so far away."

Lola nodded. "Yeah, I know how you feel," she said. "I miss having Miles here too." She smiled weakly. "At least you, me, and Frankie will get through this together, right?"

Shay stared blankly ahead, something having caught her attention suddenly. "Well um, I guess you and _me_ will..." she muttered, eyes wide.

Lola turned to see what Shay was distracted by. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head as soon as she saw it. Frankie and Zig were standing at the bottom of the steps making out. They were swapping tongues and running their hands all over each other, practically fucking in front of the whole school.

"Whoa," Lola gasped. "When did _that_ happen?"

"Beats me," Shay said, looking a little disgusted. "I thought he graduated. Plus, I totally thought he and Maya would get back together."

Lola just shook her head. "Come on," she smiled, putting her arm around Shay. "Let's do this thing."

Meanwhile, Miles waited tables at work, cleaning table number seven for what felt like the millionth time. He took a quick peek into the kitchen to check on Hope, who was napping back there. Mr. Pacini had set up a crib and baby monitor in the back so Miles could work and watch Hope at the same time while Lola was in school. Good thing he only worked mornings twice a week.

Miles breathed a sigh of relief-- Hope was still fast asleep. He stood over her crib for a second, just watching the tiny baby sleep. Sometimes he still couldn't believe he was really a father.

He went back to the tables, collecting old dishes and cups and just trying to keep himself busy. No one really came in at this hour-- the breakfast menu was over, but nobody was ready for lunch yet. Miles liked it this way. It was quiet, peaceful.

He looked out the window, sighing. _There she was again_. There had been an odd-looking woman hovering around the front of the restaurant nearly every day this past week. It was weird-- she never came inside, just paced around by the door, glancing through the windows occasionally like she was looking for somebody. It gave Miles a weird feeling. She also looked slightly familiar, though he couldn't pinpoint why.

Finally, Miles decided to just open the door. "Hey, can we help you?" he asked.

The woman looked startled. "Um... this is Lola's Cantina, right?" she said, her voice shaky.

"That's what the sign says," Miles said. _Was_ _this lady on something?_

The woman nodded nervously, hiding behind her sunglasses and floppy hat. She was very petite, so much so that the hat nearly overshadowed her whole face. "Well, um," she said. "Is... is Lola here?"

Miles looked at her quizzically. "Huh?" he said.

The woman bit her lip. "Lola, is she around?"

Miles shook his head. "She's at school," he said, his voice cautious. "Why?"

The woman sighed, then turned to walk away. "Just tell her her mother stopped by."


	59. The Worst

Man, Lola can never catch a break, can she? I have several storylines lined up but let me know if there's anything in particular you guys would like to see.. xx

 **The Worst**

Lola hopped off the bus and raced to the front steps of the Hollingsworth house where Miles was waiting for her. "Oh, _there's_ my baby!" she cried, taking Hope in her arms and hugging her tightly. "Mommy missed you so, so much!" The baby cooed happily as Lola covered her in kisses.

Miles smiled watching the two of them. "You know, if this wasn't our baby, I would be jealous of all that attention," he joked.

Lola rolled her eyes, smirking. "Hi to you too," she said, giving him a peck on the cheek. She bounced Hope up and down against her shoulder. "How did today go? Any problems?"

Miles bit his lip. "No... no problems," he said quietly.

Lola looked at him in confusion. "Are you okay?" she asked, suddenly worried.

Miles sighed, not looking at her. He didn't want to ruin her day by telling her about her mom, but he didn't want to keep secrets from her either. "Actually, something _did_ happen today," he admitted. "Not... not with the baby. Something else. I... I think you'd better come inside to hear this."

Lola took a seat at the kitchen table, her stomach churning like she had morning sickness all over again. "Miles, what's going on?" she asked worriedly, cradling the baby still. "You're starting to freak me out."

Miles took a deep breath. "Your mom came by the restaurant today," he finally said.

Lola sat up, startled. "What?" she said quietly, her expression blank.

"This lady stopped by looking for you," Miles said. "She said to tell you that your, um, _mom_ came by."

Lola didn't look at him. She took a deep breath, trying to process what Miles had just told her. "No," she said shakily. "No, my _mother_ can't be here! She's in... I don't know, California or Paris or... or somewhere far away. She can't be back here, she just _can't_!" Her hands were trembling and her face was pale, almost on the verge of tears.

Miles took Hope into his arms, afraid Lola might drop her based on how shaky she looked. "Baby, it's okay," he tried to reassure Lola. He sighed as Hope started to cry. "Maybe-- maybe she won't even come back." He tried to rock Hope back and forth, but she still wailed.

Lola sighed and took the baby from him. "She's probably hungry," she muttered. She slipped her shirt down and started to nurse her. _Yup, that's what it was_. Lola's eyes welled with tears. "It _can't_ be my mom," she cried as she nursed the baby. "It just _can't_ be."

Miles bit his lip. He always hated seeing Lola in pain. When she was in labor, he felt like a complete wreck; seeing her so terrified now was just as bad, if not worse. He remembered hovering over Tristan's bedside last year thinking _have you ever loved somebody so much that you just wish you could take all their pain and give it to yourself?_ Sure, Miles had felt that with Tristan to an extent-- but with Lola it was somehow even deeper. It felt like they were the same person sometimes-- the way he felt all of her pain instantly, the way he shuddered at her slightest discomfort, the way he practically fell to the ground aching whenever he saw her cry. Having this baby had brought them even closer, bonded them in a way he couldn't put into words. And yet... some things still remained too painful to share with one another.

"Lola," Miles said quietly. "What exactly happened with your mom? We never... we never really talked about it. All I know is she took off when you were younger. You never told me any details."

Lola glanced down at Hope, who was still nursing away. She took a deep breath-- she didn't like talking about her mom. But if anyone could get her to let down her walls, it was Miles. "She left when I was eleven," Lola finally said, her voice still trembling. "It was.. it was my first day of school. Sixth grade. I remember I was excited because she packed me a really good lunch, these enchiladas that I loved and some cookies that I barely ever got to have. She dropped me off at school that morning and she was acting all weird. She hugged me tighter than she ever had and said she loved me. She... she told me I would understand when I was older. I didn't know what she was talking about." Lola wiped her eyes, trying to catch her breath. "Then after school, I waited in front of the steps like always... but she never came. I remember it started to rain and I just sat there crying because I didn't know where she was and I was afraid something bad had happened to her. Eventually, my dad came and got me. The whole ride home he was real quiet. Then when he pulled into the driveway he just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Mija, your mother's gone. I don't know if she'll come back or not." And I came in and saw that all of her things were gone and I just started _sobbing_ and yelling at my dad that she couldn't have left, that she couldn't have done that to us, there was _no way_." She paused for a second to burp Hope. Lola was still crying a little. "And... that was it. She never came back. I found out later that she'd been seeing another guy behind my dad's back. Dad thinks she ran off to the States with him. I don't know. I could care less." She took a deep breath. "So, yeah-- that's what happened."

Miles nodded quietly, all that info sinking in. No wonder Lola was always so terrified of being left behind. He hated her mom for doing that to her, just like he hated his dad for screwing him up. He looked over at Hope and sighed. He could never imagine just walking out of her life like that. He grabbed Lola's hand and squeezed it gently. "What do you want me to do if she comes back?" he asked.

Lola bit her lip. "Send her away," she said quietly. "Tell her... tell her I don't want to see her. That she can't just walk back into my life after all these years like it's _nothing_."

Miles nodded. "Okay," he said, patting her hand. "Whatever you need, Lola."

Lola leaned into him, holding the baby in between. "What would I do without you," she murmured.


	60. Can't Stop This Thing We Started

Wow, I really loved waking up to all those reviews this morning! Always nice to have long feedback like that. One thing I should have been clearer about is Miles is working more than 2 days a week, it's just that his shifts are only in the _morning_ twice a week. As for the Mr. H plot, it's definitely not over. The parental drama is definitely affecting all the kids, especially Frankie and Lola. Some crazy stuff coming up xx

 **Can't Stop This Thing We Started**

The next week, Lola waited impatiently on her front steps for Miles to come pick up Hope before school. She had a huge history exam that she'd spent all night cramming for. Studying with a baby was proving to be rough-- she took notes whenever Hope napped, did flashcards while nursing, and tried to read her textbook despite the nearly constant crying. Lola felt stupid for ever complaining about studying before this-- if homework was hard before, homework with a baby was a whole other level of impossible.

She cradled Hope back in forth in her arms as she waited. "Goochie goochie _gooo_ ," Lola cooed to the baby, waving her rattle and trying to make her smile.

Just then, her phone rang. "Hello?" Lola answered.

"Hey," Miles said, his voice sounding low and hoarse. "Listen, I'm really, really sorry but I woke up sick." He coughed. "Like, the worst cold ever."

Lola groaned. " _Seriously_?" she said, trying to keep Hope from squirming so much. "What am I supposed to do with the baby?"

Miles coughed into the phone again. "I'm _sorry_ ," he sighed. "I wouldn't bail if I wasn't like, deathly ill."

Lola rolled her eyes, cranky from her lack of sleep. "I hardly think you're on death's door," she muttered.

"Well, I can't get the baby sick," Miles said. He stopped and blew his nose."Maybe your dad can watch her?"

Lola just sighed. "I guess," she shrugged. She hung up and walked back into the house with Hope. " _Dad..._?" she called. "Any chance you can babysit today?"

Her dad came down the stairs. "Sorry Princesa," he frowned. "We're going to be jam-packed at the cantina today. Hosting three different parties."

"Well, Miles can't either," Lola said frantically, bouncing Hope against her shoulder. "Who's supposed to watch Hope?"

Mr. Pacini shrugged. "I guess you'll just have to stay home today," he said matter-a-factly.

"But I have a huge history test!" Lola cried.

Mr. Pacini gave her a pat on the shoulder, as if to say _tough luck_. "You have to do these things sometimes when you're a parent," he said, vaguely sympathetic. He gave Hope a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm running late. I'll see you tonight. Maybe... maybe your teacher will let you make up the test." He grabbed his coat and ran out the door.

Lola looked down at the baby and sighed. Who was she kidding? There was no way Perino would let her make up the exam. It was _Perino._ "What are we going to do?" she whispered to Hope, who just sucked her thumb in response.

Lola glanced across the room at Hope's baby carrier. _Wait._ "How'd you like to go to school with Mom today?"

Lola got out of the Uber and walked into Degrassi carrying Hope in her baby sling. Carrying Hope on her stomach like this made her feel like she was eight months pregnant again.

Shay was sitting on the steps waiting for her. She looked at Lola like she was crazy.

"Whoa," Shay said, looking at Hope in surprise. "You brought the baby to _school_?"

Lola shrugged, ignoring all the stares she was getting. She'd kind of gotten used to that by now. "What choice did I have?" she said, arm around the baby carrier. "I couldn't afford to miss Perino's test today-- I'm already so behind on homework."

Shay shook her head laughing. "I feel like there's probably some rule against this."

Lola rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she said, smoothing her hand over the front of the carrier to rub Hope's back. It definitely made her feel pregnant again. "Where's Frankie?"

"No idea," Shay shrugged. "I've barely seen her since she started dating Zig."

Lola made a face. "Can you even call that _dating_?" she laughed, still weirded out by having to witness their morning makeouts on the front steps. She was a little ticked at how much Frankie had been ditching them lately. They hardly saw her at lunch anymore; she was always sneaking off to his car. Half the time Frankie would come back sporting hickeys and smelling like cigarettes; the other half of the time, she didn't come back at all.

Shay just shook her head. "Anyway," she said. "Let's get to history. I promised to Skype Tiny during free period."

Perino just stared at Lola as she walked in with the baby. "Okay, you've _got_ to be kidding me with this one," he groaned.

Lola took Hope out of the carrier and took a seat at her desk, holding her in a blanket. "Come on, Mr. Perino," she pleaded. "She's a really good baby. You won't even notice she's here."

Perino just shook his head, clutching his forehead as if just hearing Lola talk gave him a headache. She'd certainly not been his easiest student, she could admit-- between yelling at Shay to "go to hell" on the first day of school last year to spending all of spring semester complaining that she couldn't fit in her desk. "Fine," Perino muttered, waving his hand. "But I don't want this to become a regular thing."

Lola was only on question number five when Hope started to cry. It was just a soft whimper at first, but then she full on screamed. Classmates turned and glared. "Um," she said to Perino, cheeks turning red, "I think... she's uh, probably hungry." She put a blanket over her chest and started to pull the top of her shirt down underneath.

"Ms. Pacini, for _godssakes_ , go to the restroom," Perino said over the screaming baby.

"I can quiet her down!" Lola insisted, trying to ignore all the glares she was getting. "I swear, it'll just take a minute."

Perino clutched his forehead, losing his patience. "Lola, I'm going to need to ask you to step outside," he said firmly. "You can finish the test later."

Lola grabbed her things and ran into the hall with the screaming baby, beyond embarrassed. " _Really_ , Hope?" she cried, sitting down on an empty hallway bench to nurse her. She sighed-- it was her own fault anyway; it was a stupid idea to bring the baby in the first place.

"Oh, hey," a voice said from around the corner.

Lola rushed to cover up more with the blanket. "H--hey, Saad," she said awkwardly as she nursed Hope. She hadn't seen him since that kiss months ago.

He sat down next to her, avoiding eye contact. "I tried texting you over summer, you know," he said. "To apologize and all."

"I know," Lola said quickly, really hoping the baby would finish soon. "Sorry. I got pretty busy."

Saad nodded. "So, uh," he cleared his throat, "you had the baby, huh?"

Lola laughed a little at his awkwardness. "I'd be really concerned if I hadn't by this point," she said. Hope finally finished nursing. She pulled her shirt back up and cradled the baby on her shoulder, gently burping her.

Saad looked over at Hope. "Boy or girl?"

"Girl," Lola said. She smiled a little. "Her name's Hope."

"Hope," Saad repeated thoughtfully. "That's a pretty name." He got up from the bench and turned to walk away. "She's beautiful, Lola."

Lola smiled. "Thanks, Saad." Their gaze lingered for a second, as if trying to remember what their friendship had felt like.

Suddenly, the loudspeaker went off. _Lola Pacini to the office,_ Simpson's voice announced. _Lola Pacini._

What'd you do?" Saad smirked.

Lola groaned, getting up. "Probably in trouble for bringing the baby to school," she said. She started laughing hysterically all of a sudden at how ridiculous she must have looked carrying a baby into school like this.

"Uh, you okay?" Saad asked awkwardly, looking concerned.

"I'm fine," Lola said, still giggling. "I-- I don't know why I'm laughing. I guess I'm just _so_ tired that I'm losing it. Seriously, I should be like, crying right now."

Saad shook his head, grinning at her ridiculousness. "Well, good luck," he said. "I'll uh, see you around..?"

"Yeah," Lola sighed, giving him a small smile. "I'll see you."

She got to the office where Simpson was waiting for her. "Mr. Simpson, don't you think it's kind of sexist to punish me for trying to continue my education?" she said right away. "And anyway, wasn't your wife a teen mom at Degrassi?"

Simpson looked at Lola like she was nuts. "Lola, you're not in trouble," he laughed. He glanced at the baby and shook his head. "Though I am going to make you an appointment with Ms. Grell to figure out some better solutions here. But anyway, I called you up to the office for early dismissal."

Lola looked at him in confusion. "Huh?" she said, suddenly worried. "Is my dad okay?"

"Oh, it's not your dad picking you up," Simpson said. "Your mom's here."


	61. Who Do You Think You Are

Yikes, yikes, yikes. Excited to write this Mama Pacini storyline, but poor Lola... xx

 **Who Do You Think You Are**

Lola stood there frozen, her eyes wide in shock. "My _mother_?" she cried, staring at Simpson in disbelief. "No. No way."

Just then, a woman walked into Simpson's office. She looked strikingly similar to Lola-- same petite frame, same curly hair, same dreamy brown eyes. "Well," the woman said, taking off her sunglasses. "Hello to you too." Her eyes narrowed on Hope, who was still nestled in a blanket in Lola's arms.

Lola turned to walk away. "I'm not doing this," she said firmly, not looking at her mom. "I don't have anything to say to you, _Victoria_."

"Lola, get back here!" Mrs. Pacini hissed.

Simpson just stood in between them awkwardly. "Um," he said, "maybe you two would like to chat privately for a minute?" He closed the office door, leaving the three Pacini girls alone with each other.

Lola locked eyes with her mom. "What do you _want_?" she cried, still in shock.

Mrs. Pacini took a seat at the desk. " _Sit,"_ she said, motioning to Lola.

Lola rolled her eyes and sat down across from her, still cradling Hope in her arms. She rocked her back and forth a little, trying to keep her from fussing. "Shh, _shh_ ," she whispered to the baby.

Mrs. Pacini sighed loudly. "Just look at yourself," she muttered, shaking her head. "I come back and _this_ is how I find you. Blue hair. _A baby_. Mija, you're _out of control_!"

Lola stared at her for a second, then quietly laughed under her breath. Did her mother really think she could do this, run off with no explanation and then come back and try to play mom all these years later? She felt her face grow hot as anger boiled inside her. Her mother had no right to waltz back into her life and scold her like this.

"You don't know anything about me," Lola said defensively, nestling Hope on her shoulder. "You know _nothing_ about my life, so don't go acting like you do."

Mrs. Pacini just shook her head. "And that _attitude_ ," she continued. "Does your father really tolerate this disrespect?"

" _No_ ," Lola said. "Because I don't talk to him this way. Because he's actually stuck around and been a _parent_ to me."

"And yet, you still got pregnant," Mrs. Pacini muttered, looking at the baby and tsking.

Lola sighed, rubbing Hope's back. "How did you even find me?"

"I've kept an eye on you through Hastygram and Facerange over the years," Mrs. Pacini said casually. "But I hadn't checked up on you for a few months. Imagine my surprise when I went on your profile and saw that you had a _baby_." She took out her phone and pulled up Lola's Hastygram, scrolling through the past year's pictures. Lola and Miles kissing. Lola at the campsite with Frankie and Shay, throwing a peace sign over her pregnant belly. The ultrasound picture from months ago. Pictures of Hope at the hospital.

Lola glanced at the profile and then shoved the phone back at her mom. "So?" she shrugged. She'd never been one to hide her personal life online-- as she'd told Shay and Frankie, it was bad for her brand.

Mrs. Pacini looked at Lola like she'd just slapped her. " _So?_ " she repeated in shock. "What do you mean " _so_?" Mija, you're only _seventeen_!" She sighed. "And I hear the boy who knocked you up is the son of a criminal."

"His _name_ is Miles," Lola said defensively. "He's not some rando, he's my boyfriend." She bounced Hope up and down gently. "And for your information, he's actually a really good dad," she added.

Mrs. Pacini stared at Hope. "So you had the baby in what-- June?" she asked.

Lola nodded, barely making eye contact. "June 20," she said. "She was two weeks early. It was... kind of a rough pregnancy. I was on bed rest for a lot of my third trimester." She kissed the top of the baby's forehead. "But she's here and she's healthy, at least."

"What's her name?" Mrs. Pacini asked.

Lola tsked-- did her mom not understand how to read Hastygram captions or something? "Hope," she said. "Hope Francesca Hollingsworth."

Mrs. Pacini sighed, staring at the baby. "You didn't even give her our last name?" she tsked. "Lola, how do you know this boy is even going to stick around?"

Lola started to get worked up again. "Miles has been here for me more than _you_ ever have," she said, her voice like ice. "I mean, God, Victoria. Are you even going to tell me where you've been for the past six years?"

Mrs. Pacini narrowed her eyes at Lola. "Don't call me by my first name," she said sternly. "I am your _mother_."

Lola just shook her head. "You can't just do this, you know," she said. "Come back into my life as if nothing happened." She glanced down at Hope, who had finally drifted off to sleep. "I've already been through enough this past year."

Mrs. Pacini sat up, glancing back and forth between Lola and the baby. "Obviously," she said. "You clearly need a mother figure in your life. Look at you. You've completely spiraled out of control. I'm not going to stand by and do nothing when your father clearly can't keep you under control."

Lola didn't look at her. "Dad will _never_ let you back into our lives," she said firmly.

"Oh really?" Mrs. Pacini said. "Then why did he invite me over for dinner tonight?"


	62. Wrecked

Lola's mom really needs to chill, huh? I felt like that was a realistic response to discovering Lola had a baby in her absence though. Here's some Miles xx

 **Wrecked**

Miles got out of bed and went to grab more cold medicine, his bones aching and his throat burning. He felt bad for bailing on Lola, but he didn't want to risk getting the baby sick. It left him realizing that their perfect little system for handling the baby and school wasn't so perfect after all. What were they supposed to do about university? What if both of them had events they had to go at the same time? What if they both got sick? It's not like they could really afford daycare right now-- at least, not until and unless his dad's accounts transferred over.

He stood over the counter and read the label on the cough syrup. Grape-- bleah. Wait, this stuff wasn't addictive, right? He remembered once hearing Esme talk about how you could get high off of it if you had enough... no, no he was being stupid; he wasn't going to become an addict again over a couple tablespoons of this crap.

He slammed the medicine cabinet shut and went to the bathroom to take a hot shower. He opened the door and screamed. He wanted to burn his eyes off of his skull permanently at what he saw-- his sister dripping wet and naked in the shower with Zig.

"Frankie, what the hell!" he cried, covering his eyes and stepping back.

"Oh geez!" Frankie shouted, immediately covering herself with a towel and tossing one at Zig. "I thought you were at work, Miles!"

"And you're supposed to be at _school,"_ Miles said, still covering his eyes. Walking in on her making out with Jonah in her bra a few months ago had been awkward enough, but this was beyond uncomfortable for the both of them. Now he knew how she must have felt walking in on him and Tristan last year and then later barging in on him and Lola.

Zig quickly slipped into his jeans and grabbed his shirt, desperately avoiding eye contact with Miles. "I'll uh-- I'll call you later, Frankie," he said hurriedly, sprinting out the door. It took every fiber in Miles' body to not punch Zig in the face right then. Frankie stormed into her room to change, rolling her eyes and huffing at Miles. Miles could tell she was beyond pissed.

Miles slumped against the bathroom wall, sighing deeply. Frankie had been acting different lately, always trying to push the boundaries. She would sneak in at 2 a.m., get into screaming matches with their mom, come home smelling like weed and cigarettes... Miles didn't know where she was half the time nowadays. He'd tried to ignore it, blow it off as normal teenage rebellion like her blonde hair phase-- but something about this seemed more serious. Something wasn't right.

He pounded on Frankie's bedroom door. "Frankie!" he shouted. "Frankie, open the door." He sighed. "Please."

Frankie cracked her door open a tiny bit. " _What_?" she huffed, crossing her arms.

Miles shook his head, taking a deep breath. This wasn't like the two of them to talk about serious crap, for him to talk down to her like he was some authority figure. If anything, Frankie was usually the one who had to get _him_ under control. But she still was his little sister and he needed to say _something_. "Frankie, we need to talk," he said. "This... this isn't like you. Ditching class... smoking and drinking... _showering_ with the biggest tool in--"

"Oh, like you haven't done worse," Frankie cut him off. "Miles, you got a girl _pregnant_ , for godssakes!"

Miles swallowed hard. "Yeah," he said. "I did. And now I'm responsible for a child for the rest of my life." He felt a little bad for how harshly that had come out. He didn't want to talk about his daughter like she was a punishment or something. But at the same time, he didn't want to see his younger siblings end up in the same situation. Or worse. "Look Frankie," he said. "You're better than this, okay?"

Frankie still didn't look at him. "Better than what?" she said, her voice tense. "Okay, look, I have done _nothing_ my entire life except try to be the perfect daughter, the perfect sister! Do you know how many times I covered for you when you stayed out all night drinking or doing drugs or sleeping over at a girl's?" She finally looked her brother in the eyes. "I spent the entire last year helping you and Lola deal with the baby. Bonus points for knocking up my _best friend_ , by the way."

Mile tried to ignore that last remark. "No one's saying you have to be _perfect_ ," he said. "But I _know_ you Franks, and this isn't you."

Frankie turned away. "Yeah, well," she muttered. "You're not Dad. So don't try and act like you are." She slammed the door behind her.

Miles sank to the floor and sighed loudly. Their _dad_. Of course this is what this was about. Everything had been so out of control since the sentencing, between Hunter's little breakdowns in the kitchen to Frankie suddenly trying to become some kind of wild child. Well, enough was enough.

He got up and grabbed his car keys. "I'll be back in a couple hours," he called to Frankie, certain she wouldn't listen anyway. "I need to go see someone."


	63. These Are My Confessions

Glad the Frankie drama has been well-received. There's going to be more to that plot.. Also, I had a reviewer ask about Esme-- she'll be back for a later plot point. I'm really liking crafting original plots instead of just going off the show like earlier, but I hope things haven't been too overly dramatic. I'll bring back more Mola scenes soon xx

 **These Are My Confessions**

Lola laid on the living room floor next to Hope after school, trying to relax after this morning's events. She looked at the baby and sighed, so tired.

Hope laid on her tummy, fascinated by the shiny mirror in front of her. She spit at her reflection and whacked the mirror with her little hands. Lola couldn't help but laugh.

"Come here, you," Lola said, scooping her into her arms. She sank into the couch, cradling the baby in her arms. "We had quite a day, didn't we?"

Hope formed a tiny smile. It still gave Lola such a thrill to see it. "How about a story?" she cooed to the baby, reaching for the picture book on the coffee table. "Once upon a time, there was a--"

Suddenly, Hope started cry. Her face turned crimson red as she screamed and waved her fists.

"What's the matter, sweetie?" Lola said. "Are you hungry again?" She slipped down her shirt, but Hope refused to nurse. Lola sniffed the air. "Well, you're not hungry and your diaper doesn't need to be changed..." She sighed, rocking the baby back and forth. "You just tired, maybe?" she cooed over Hope's soft whimpering. "That's okay," Lola smiled, rubbing her back. "We can just sit like this for a minute." After a few minutes, Hope finally drifted off to sleep.

Soon after though, Lola's dad barged in. "I'm home, Mija!" he shouted, slamming the door behind him.

Lola groaned as Hope started to cry again. "Dad, I _just_ got her to sleep!" she groaned.

Mr. Pacini winced. "Oops," he said, shrugging apologetically. "Um, listen though, we should talk." He took a seat across from her. Fernando hopped into his lap.

"Yeah," Lola sighed, trying to calm Hope back down. "Obviously." She handed the baby her pacifier. "When did you... when did you even talk to Mom? How?"

Mr. Pacini took a deep breath. "That's... kind of what I need to talk to you about." He sighed long and hard. "I have kind of a confession to make," he said, barely looking at Lola. "I've known where your mother was. For... for a few years now."

Lola sat up. "Wait, _what_?"

Mr. Pacini still didn't look at her. "She contacted me a couple of years ago, while she was in California," he said. "We've kept in touch annually since then, no more than a couple of times a year." He looked at Lola's shocked face. "Listen, you've got to understand. I hid it to protect you."

Lola could hardly think straight, she was so upset. "So you've just been lying to me all these years?" she said. She couldn't even stand to look at her father. "You told me you had _no idea_ where Mom went, that she just abandoned us, that--"

"And she _did_!" Mr. Pacini insisted. Fernando started to growl as he moved him down to the floor. "She _did_ leave us, Lola. The only reason she even contacted me was because she hit rock bottom. Her boyfriend left her and she had no money." He sighed, clutching his forehead. "I helped her out financially for a bit, but we decided it was in your best interest for her to stay in California. She wasn't in a good place, Mija." He bit his lip. "We were so young when we got married, you know... and then when you were born, we barely had enough money to get by. It wasn't easy."

Lola just shook her head. She looked down at Hope and sighed, pulling her closer. "But I still had a right to know where she was," Lola muttered. "She's my _mother_."

"Like I said," Mr. Pacini continued. "I did it to protect you. It... it didn't seem right to explain to a thirteen-year old why her mother didn't want to be with her."

" _Thirteen_?" Lola cried. "You've known where she was since I was _thirteen_?"

"Fourteen! It was fourteen," Mr. Pacini said quickly. He let out a deep breath. "Look. I understand if you're angry with me, but I had my reasons."

Lola just sighed, not looking at him. This was too much to take in all at once."Then why is she back now?"

"She thinks... I'm not doing a very good job with you," Mr. Pacini said, shifting his eyes towards the baby. "That I need help raising you. And I... I kind of agreed with her."

Lola locked eyes with him. "You're saying you're disappointed in how I turned out?" she said, her voice hurt. She looked down at Hope, her eyes starting to tear up.

"No, no," Mr. Pacini said quickly. "I'm not saying that, Mija. But you're right-- it isn't fair to keep your mother from you. Yes, she walked out on us years ago, but... I think she deserves a chance."

Lola swallowed hard. "And what if I say no?" she said. "What if I don't _want_ to give her another chance?"

Mr. Pacini just shook his head at her. "I'm afraid you don't have a choice," he said sternly. "You live under my roof. You're a child still." He glanced at Hope and bit his lip. "Even if you're a mother now." He sighed. "Look Lola, your mother wants a relationship with you. If I refuse to let her see you, she could fight me for custody. Things could get ugly."

"I'm seventeen," Lola muttered. "What would be the point in getting custody of me _now_?"

Mr. Pacini just sighed. "Go change for dinner," he said. "Your mother will be here in half an hour."


	64. How We Got Here

Glad the Pacini drama has been pretty well received too. I always wanted to see them bring Lola's mom in on the show, so it's fun to do it here. Here's some Miles, this chapter is pretty intense as well.. xx

 **How We Got Here**

Miles drove and drove late into the evening, kept awake only by coffee and the radio. He flipped the dial around for awhile, finally settling on a hip-hop station. He smiled fondly for a second, thinking back to when he took a hip-hop dance class with Frankie several summers ago.

He checked the maps on his phone again-- yup, he was headed in the right direction. About 20 minutes away from Bath, Ontario.

He realized he hadn't spoken to Lola since this morning and reached over to his Bluetooth to call and check in on her and Hope.

"Hey," Lola answered wearily. She sounded exhausted.

"Hey," Miles said. "How's the baby?"

Lola sighed. "You're not even going to ask how _I_ am?"

Miles approached a stop sign and hit his brakes just in time. Someone behind him honked. "Sorry, sorry," he muttered. "How are _you_?"

"I've been better," Lola said. "You'll never guess who's coming to dinner at my house tonight."

Miles waved back apologetically to the driver behind him. "Who?"

"My _mother_ ," Lola groaned.

Miles tried to keep his eyes on the road. Only ten more minutes till he was there. "Oh geez, I'm sorry," he said. "How'd that happen?"

"It's a long story," Lola sighed. Miles heard Hope whimper in the background. "I'll fill you in later." She paused. "Wait-- where are you? I thought you were home sick."

"I am-- I was," Miles said, sniffling. He still wasn't feeling great, but this couldn't wait any longer. "But I needed to drive somewhere last minute. I'll be back before midnight if you want me to come by."

"Midnight?" Lola said. "Where are you driving-- _California_?"

Miles sighed, shutting the radio off. "No," he muttered. "I'll explain later, okay?" He saw the exit sign coming up. "I have to go. I promise I'll tell you everything later. Just... trust me."

"I always do," Lola sighed. She paused. "Love you."

"Love you too," Miles said. He hung up and took the exit into Bath.

There it was: Millhaven Institution. He felt a pit in his stomach as he reached the parking lot, suddenly overwhelmingly anxious.

"Um, hello," he rolled down his window and said to the guard. "I'm here to visit... Miles Hollingsworth II."

The guard looked down at his clipboard. "And what is your relationship to the inmate?" he asked, like this was a hospital instead of a prison.

Miles swallowed hard. "I'm his son."

After signing a bunch of waivers and forms and getting a "visitor" badge slapped to his chest, Miles was led into the back room. He felt a chill down his spine as he walked past all the inmates-- they looked like they could kill. Maybe some of them _had_. A middle-aged guy covered in tattoos glared at him, further deepening the pit in his stomach.

Then, he saw his father. He was sitting at one of the tables alone in the very back. He was wearing an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs and looked like he hadn't shaved in about three weeks. It left Miles unsettled seeing him like this, as if the grave reality of the situation was finally sinking in.

"Don't be too long," the gaurd said, seating Miles at the table.

The two Miles Hollingsworths stared at each other, face to face at last. For a minute, neither of them moved.

Mr. H was the first to break the ice. "Well," he cleared his throat. "This is a surprise."

"Yeah," Miles muttered nervously, glancing around the room. The atmosphere still gave him the creeps. "Look, I'm not here for me. I'm here because of the twins. They've been... well, acting out since the sentencing. And I... I don't know what to do with them."

Mr. H sighed deeply, strumming his fingers on the table. "So you've... what? Come here for fatherly advice?"

Miles shrugged. "No," he said, barely looking at him. "But I think you should call them. They won't talk to _me,_ so--"

Mr. H cut him off. "You wanted me out of your life," he reminded Miles. "Why would you want me to come back in it?"

Miles fidgeted in his seat. "That's not what I'm saying," he said, struggling to find the words. "I just think you owe them... closure." He finally looked his father in the eyes. "I thought I could be, I don't know... more of a father figure to them. But I can't just take your place." He sighed.

Mr. H was quiet for a minute, then spoke up again. "So, you're a father now."

Miles nodded slowly. "Yeah. Hope's almost three months now. She's beautiful."

Mr. H nodded, not looking at his son. "Yeah, I saw the pictures on Facerange. She is." He took a deep breath, still not making eye contact. "Look, son. I know I don't really... tell you this often. But I'm proud of you." He took another deep breath. "Overcoming addiction, being there for Lola, proving yourself to be a good father... I'm proud of who you are. You're a better man than I ever was."

Miles sat up straight, shocked. "You've never said that before," he said quietly. "That... that you're proud of me."

"Well," Mr. H said. "I am." He went quiet after that, just sighing and tapping his fingers against the table. Miles wondered if this was his way of apologizing, of trying to prove that he cared a _little_ about all the pain he had caused.

Miles cleared his throat. "So, you'll give the twins a call?"

Mr. H nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Sure." He glanced at the clock. "Visiting hours are almost over."

"Yeah," Miles said. He got out of his seat and nodded awkwardly at his father, finally meeting eyes. He wasn't sure if this was a hugging type moment. That didn't feel comfortable enough yet.

"Goodbye, son," Mr. H said.

Miles swallowed hard, a heavy lump in his throat. "Bye, Dad."


	65. If I Just Lay Here

I know it's been a few chapters since Mola actually interacted in person, so I snuck some into the chapter. We'll take a break from the parent drama soon aha. I'm also going to be using some flashbacks here and there xx

 **If I Just Lay Here**

Lola sprinted into her room with Hope, slamming the door behind her. She was still so shocked about what her father had just told her. The last thing she wanted to do right now was eat dinner with him and her mother.

Hope started to cry at the loud noise. "Oh no, don't cry," Lola sighed, holding the infant close. "Sorry baby, don't-- don't cry."

She settled into the rocking chair with her, trying to remember the lyrics to some lullabies. "Uh... hush little baby, don't say a word," she sang. "Mommy's gonna buy you a..." She paused, trying to remember the song. "Mocking... bird?"

Hope still wailed. Lola groaned, but then suddenly had an idea. She reached over to her phone and put on one of 5 Seconds of Summer's albums.

Hope paused at the familiar sound and slowly stopped whimpering. She cooed happily.

"You like that?" Lola laughed, turning the song up as she rocked Hope back and forth. "I used to play it for you all the time when you were in my tummy." She got up and settled Hope into her basinnet.

Lola flipped the baby monitor on and tucked her into her blanket, just staring at the baby for a second. She sighed-- it was crazy how fast everything had changed in just a year. Her mind wandered back to the night of the party with Miles, the night Hope was conceived:

 _Lola savored the feeling of Miles' lips on hers. She didn't want to admit it, but she'd been wanting to do that for so long._

 _Damn, he was a good kisser. Lola tried not to_ _think about how many girls-- and guys-- he must have done this with before. Her mind wandered to Tristan suddenly, a pang of guilt hitting her stomach as she thought of him lying comatose in the hospital. But Miles couldn't just put his life on hold forever... right?_

 _"Are you sure you want this?" she asked hesitantly. Miles nodded and pulled her into another kiss. His hands wandered all over her body. Okay. Okay, this was good-- right?_

 _Miles threw his shirt off and slowly started taking Lola's pajamas off. A feeling of nervousness rushed over her and she suddenly felt insecure. The most she'd ever done_ _with a boy was go down on Tiny under the bleachers for like, a minute. It barely even counted._

 _"Is something wrong?" Miles asked, noticing her hesitancy._

 _Lola looked into his beautiful green eyes. She could do this, she told herself. It was okay-- her first time didn't have to be a huge deal. Maybe she hadn't planned it all out and bought candles and rose petals like Frankie, but this felt good. It felt right._

 _"No, nothing's wrong," Lola assured him. She smiled and slid off her bra. Within seconds, they were completely undressed. Lola wondered if she should tell him she was a virgin-- did he know? Did he need to know? She tried not to worry about what Frankie would do if she walked in on them right now._

 _"Oh crap," Miles muttered, rummaging through his drawer. "I'm out of condoms."_

 _"It's okay," Lola said immediately, not even stopping to think. "I'm on the pill." She didn't want Miles to think she had no clue what she was doing. Besides, you couldn't get pregnant on the pill-- right?_

"Lola! Dinner!"

Lola snapped back into reality at the sound of her dad's voice. God, she was dreading this dinner so much. She gave Hope a kiss on her forehead and sighed deeply. Maybe she could just stay in her room forever.

"Lola!"

Lola groaned. " _Coming_ ," she called back, gritting her teeth.

She walked into the dining room and saw her mother already there, sitting down at the table and chatting with Lola's dad like this was just a perfectly normal family dinner. Like she lived here, like she hadn't left years ago. It made Lola sick.

"You're not bringing the baby in here?" Mrs. Pacini asked, tsking a little. "Shouldn't you keep an eye on her?"

"I have the baby monitor," Lola muttered, taking a seat at the far end of the table. She sliced her food quickly, avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

Mr. Pacini cleared his throat. "Listen, Mija," he said. "Your mother is going to be in town for awhile. It might be a good idea for Hope to get to know her a little."

Lola put her fork down. She took a deep breath. "Dad," she said, her voice low and even. "I understand I'm under your roof and all. But Hope is _my_ daughter. _I_ decide who gets to be in her life. Got it?"

For a second, Lola thought she spotted an ounce of remorse in her mother's expression. "Look, Lola," Mrs. Pacini sighed. "I know I've made mistakes."

Lola just shook her head, still barely looking at her mother. "You abandoned me," she said. "You can't change that."

"I know," Mrs. Pacini said. "I-- I know that. Mija, I was so young. I felt... I don't know, _trapped_. I just wasn't ready to be settled down." She paused. "You can understand that, can't you? Mother to mother?"

Lola shook her head. "No," she said simply. "I can't. I'm _much_ younger than you were when you had me and I can't imagine ever walking out of Hope's life like that."

"You don't have to understand," Mrs. Pacini said. "But I'm still your mother. And you clearly need some guidance in your life."

"I _don't_ need you, okay?" Lola cried. She felt like crying-- she wasn't sure if that was because of her mom or because her body was so out of whack with hormones. "I'm doing just fine!"

"Mija, that's _enough_ ," Mr. Pacini cut her off. "Look. Your mother is going to stay with us for awhile."

Lola just stared at him. "And I don't get a say in any of this?" she said. "You two get to just decide _everything_?"

"Lola, all I'm asking for is a chance," Mrs. Pacini said. "Let me get to know you again."

Hope's cries echoed through the baby monitor. "That's the baby," Lola sighed, getting up. "Probably time to feed her again."

"Does this boy _ever_ come around to help?" Mrs. Pacini tsked, referring to Miles. "Isn't this his child too?"

"Miles is here all the time," Lola snapped. "Just ask Dad. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go check on my kid."

Later that night, Lola laid in bed crying herself to sleep. This was too much, having her mom come back out of the blue like this. _Especially_ now, when she was still adjusting to taking care of a baby. She felt like she was being pushed over an edge and she couldn't handle any more stress.

Suddenly, there was a soft tapping noise. Lola glanced over and saw Miles outside her window. What was he doing here? She put her finger over her lips, warning him not to wake the baby.

She carefully lifted her window up. "What are you doing here?" she whispered.

"I just wanted to see you," Miles shrugged. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry-- I don't think I'm sick anymore."

Lola bit her lip, blushing a little at the feeling of his lips brushing against her cheek so softly. "Okay, but we have to be really quiet," she warned him. "If my parents hear you--"

"Wait," Miles interrupted. " _Parents_? As in plural?"

Lola sighed. "Long story," she muttered, lying back down on the bed. "I'll tell you in a minute. Where were you tonight?"

"Long story," Miles laughed. "I'll tell you in a minute." He smirked and climbed on top of her, gently kissing her.

They made out for a minute before Lola stopped things from getting carried away. "Okay, okay, you first," she said, giggling a little.

Miles cleared his throat. "Well, I--"

 _Waaaah!_

Lola groaned. "Hang on," she muttered. She walked over to the basinnet and picked up Hope, cradling her and trying to quiet her down.

"Why don't you bring her over here?" Miles whispered. He sat up and motioned for them to join him on the bed.

Lola nodded, yawning. She sat next to Miles and leaned into him, Hope on her lap in between the two of them.

"Here we are," Miles whispered, looking down at the baby and smiling wearily. "Our perfect little family." He laughed softly.

"Yeah," Lola sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. "This is the only family I wanna have."


	66. No Superman

Sorry I haven't updated in a few days; I had final exams. I'm on break for a month now though so I'll have plenty of time to write more. Glad you guys are into the Pacini family drama, I've got some interesting ideas of where to take it. Some more twists coming up with other characters. In the meantime, here's a little break from parental drama. Enjoy some Ziles xx

 **No Superman**

Miles booted up his laptop one morning at home and pulled up Skype. Hope was sitting in his lap sucking her pacifier, just hanging out with her dad. Miles was glad he didn't have to work today so he could have some time with her. The baby still cried a little whenever Lola left for school in the mornings, but she was getting more used to being with Miles. He was glad Lola and Hope had a special bond, but he secretly hoped the baby would grow up to be more of a daddy's girl.

A static image of Zoe's face finally appeared on his desktop. She was sitting in a dorm room that looked no bigger than the size of a shoebox. It had been awhile since Miles had seen her-- she'd trimmed her hair a little and she parted it slightly differently now, but other than that she looked just about the same.

"Miles?" Zoe said, fidgeting with the screen. "Miles, can you see me?"

Her face became a little less blurry. "Yup," Miles said, trying to keep Hope from squirming so much.

Zoe frowned, moving the screen around some more. "Well, I can't see you," she muttered. She paused, then smiled all of a sudden. "Wait-- now I see you! Oh my gosh, is that the baby?"

Miles grinned. "Say hi to Auntie Zoe," he said, waving Hope's tiny hand.

"She's gotten _so_ _big_!" Zoe cried, waving to the baby. "I can't believe it."

"Thanks for the baby clothes you sent," Miles said. "We definitely needed some new ones."

"Sure," Zoe said. "Anything for an old friend."

Miles looked closer at Zoe's dorm room. He felt a pang in his stomach as he spotted a picture of Tristan hanging on her wall.

"Hey, Zoe?" he asked quietly, a lump in his throat.

Zoe looked up. "Yeah?"

Miles sighed. "Why... why are you still friends with me?" he asked. "I mean, I _did_ cheat on your best friend."

Zoe bit her lip. "Well--"

Hope dropped her pacifier and started crying. "One sec," Miles muttered, handing it back to the baby.

Zoe watched as Miles rocked Hope back and forth in his arms. "It's so crazy to see you as a dad," she said, laughing.

Miles smiled, but still felt the lump in his throat. "Um, anyway," he cleared his throat. "How... how do you not, you know... _hate_ me?"

Zoe took a deep breath. "Well, to be honest," she said, her voice quiet, "I was pissed when I first found out you cheated on Tris. You know, when I overheard Lola telling you she was pregnant." She sighed. "But then... I remembered that day at the hospital when I caught you sobbing by Tristan's bedside, begging him to wake up. How helpless and... _miserable_ you looked. I realized I... I couldn't really judge you for doing what you did." She shrugged quietly, eyes fixated on the baby. "And besides," she sighed. "You looked so _happy_ with Lola. More so than you ever did with Tris... even before the bus crash."

Miles nodded quietly, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Zoe was right, he realized. He _had_ been happy with Tristan at some point, or at least what he thought was happiness. But Lola was different. With her, he had never had to pretend to be someone he wasn't. He remembered lying in bed with her the morning after Hope was conceived when she looked at him and said "oh don't worry, I'm cool with the bisexual thing." The way she said it made it seem like no big deal, but his sexuality was something that Tristan had always refused to acknowledge. As they laid there cuddling that morning, just "enjoying whatever this was," it dawned on Miles that he loved her. She wasn't just some quick fuck to take his mind off Tristan. She was something special.

"Have you talked to Tristan at all, though?" Zoe asked. "Since graduation, I mean."

"No," Miles said. _Why would he?_

Zoe nodded, looking serious all of a sudden. "He's not doing so great," she said, sighing. "His rehab is taking longer than they thought. He's having trouble reading and writing and his memory is hazy sometimes."

Miles felt that pit in his stomach again. Even if he didn't love Tristan in that way anymore, he still didn't want anything bad to happen to him. He still felt guilty sometimes for falling for Lola while Tris was in his coma. He knew Tristan had needed him and he had let him down. But at the same time, he thought as he looked down at the tiny baby in his arms, other people needed him also. And his own happiness mattered too. He wasn't Superman, as much as he wished he could be at times.

"Anyway," Zoe said, suddenly distracted by something on her cell phone. "I've gotta go. Rasha's calling. Tell Lola I say hi." She waved at the baby. "See you later, Hope."

"Say goodbye to Auntie Zoe," Miles said, waving Hope's little hand at the screen again.

After Zoe logged off, Hope drifted back to sleep. Miles just sat there for awhile, holding the baby in his arms and watching her little eyes flutter as she dreamt. Maybe he couldn't be a superhero, but he hoped he could be one in his daughter's eyes.


	67. In Too Deep

A very Frankie-centered chapter, with a little parental drama and Mola in between. Hope you enjoy. I'm also thinking about writing some separate one-shots on the side xx

 **In Too Deep**

Mrs. Pacini had been living with Lola and her dad for almost a week now, but the mother and daughter pair had barely interacted since the dinner. Lola sighed as she walked past the guest room in the morning, tip-toeing and praying that Hope stayed quiet. The phrase "houseguests are like fish; they both start to smell after three days" came to mind. Lola still couldn't understand what the point of her mother being here was. Once or twice she heard her parents talking late in the night, chattering in Spanish and laughing like old friends. It made Lola uneasy, to say the least. She was still so angry at her dad for forcing her to go along with all of this, to pretend like they were this happy little family.

At school, Lola mostly hung with Shay and then Yael and the boys. Frankie had barely been around, always cutting class to go off somewhere with Zig-- he had kind of turned into that weird older brother who still hung out with the high-schoolers and bought them beer.

Last year, Lola had been the talk of the school with her pregnancy. This year though, Frankie seemed to be leading the rumor mill. Lola had heard all kinds of gossip about Frankie and Zig, like that they had sex in the media room or that they did LSD together. The annoying thing was, Lola and Shay couldn't even tell what was true or not.

Lola was sitting in the student lounge catching up with Yael when Frankie came in. "Hey," the Hollingsworth girl said quietly. "Can we talk for a minute, Lo?"

Lola looked over at Frankie, raising her eyebrows. She was wearing a black leather jacket, a halter top, and a lipstick shade that was way too dark for her. "Oh well, hey to you too," Lola said, her voice like ice. "Nice of you to finally speak to me." It came out harsher than she intended, but she was pissed that Frankie hadn't even bothered to ask how she was doing with her mom. Ever since she got with Zig, he seemed to be all she cared about. She had been clingy with Winston and Jonah, but this was a whole other level of obsession, almost like an addiction.

"Please," Frankie whispered, her face pale all of a sudden.

Lola looked at her hesitantly, then nodded quietly and said goodbye to Yael. She could tell something was wrong.

Frankie sat down on an empty bench, looking even paler than she had a second ago. "Um," she said, her voice shaky as Lola sat down next to her. "I don't know how to say this, exactly."

Lola looked at her worriedly. Even if she was pissed at her, Frankie still was her best friend. "Frankie, what's wrong?" she said. "You're kinda starting to freak me out."

Frankie didn't look at her. "How... how did you feel when you were..." She took a deep breath. "You know... _pregnant_?" she whispered.

Lola froze. This could not be happening, not again. "With Zig?" she said, still shocked.

Frankie tossed her jacket off, looking like she was going to cry. "I-- I don't know," she said, her hands shaking. "I mean _yes_ , with Zig. But I don't know if I am." She sighed. "I've just been feeling... _weird_. Like random cramping and stuff. And I'm a couple of days late." She looked at Lola, waiting for her to say something.

"Well did you... y'know, use a condom?" Lola asked.

Frankie bit her lip. "Sometimes," she said, twirling her hair nervously. "Not... every time."

Lola shook her head. "You didn't even tell me you guys had sex," she said, a little hurt.

"Well, you didn't tell me when _you_ did either!" Frankie snapped. She took a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry I've been blowing you guys off lately," she said. "But I need your help, Lo. _Please_."

Lola put her arm around her, trying to calm her down. "Yeah, of course," she said, thinking back to a year ago when _she_ was in this position. Damn, Hollingsworth kids were fertile. "What... what do you need?"

"I just need a test," Frankie said. "My car is in the shop and I can't exactly ask my brothers to take me."

"I don't have a car either," Lola reminded her.

"No, but your dad's restaurant is near a drug store," Frankie added. "Can you just get one for me? I can't risk going myself. Some of Zig's buddies work around the area."

Lola bit her lip. "He doesn't know?"

Frankie shrugged. "We don't... we don't really have that kind of relationship," she said, wiping her eyes. "We don't really _talk_. It's not like what you and Miles have."

Lola nodded. It didn't surprise her all that much that Frankie and Zig were mostly just fooling around. Zig had never really been in love with anyone but Maya. "It'll be okay, Franks," she said, hugging her. "I promise."

Frankie hugged her back, crying a little. "God, I'm so _stupid."_

"You're not stupid," Lola said. "It happens. I'm living proof." She let go of her, but held onto her hand. "Do you know what you want to do if it's positive?"

Frankie sighed. "I don't know," she said quietly. "I really don't know."

Lola nodded. "Yeah," she said. "I didn't know what I wanted to do either." She sighed. "I don't regret my decision to keep Hope, but it's... it's not for everyone." She shrugged.

"Let's just hope it's a false alarm," Frankie said, staring off into space. She leaned into Lola, who hugged her tight. Lola sighed, rubbing her back to comfort her. Frankie could be a pain in the ass sometimes, but she was still her girl. There was a reason Hope was named after her.


	68. Hey Brother

So I think the actual direction the Frankie plot is heading in will surprise everyone. I'll have some more Mama Pacini stuff coming up soon, just wanted to focus on the Hollingsworths again a little xx

 **Hey Brother**

Miles sat in the living room with Hope after work waiting for Lola to come by. She was taking longer than usual to get home for some reason. He tried to keep Hope busy while they waited.

He put a blanket over his head. "Hey, Hope," he said, using the soft, high-pitched voice he only did with her. "Peek-a-boo!"

Hope giggled as Miles pulled the blanket off his head. She had just started to laugh in the last week. Miles couldn't believe how fast she was growing up-- it still seemed like it was just yesterday that they brought her home from the hospital.

Miles sighed, glancing at his watch again. As much as he loved Hope, he had to admit he was getting a little restless doing nothing but working at the Cantina and watching the baby. Watching all of his friends go off to college made him feel sort of empty. He needed something to fill the void.

Lola finally came into the Hollingsworth house. "Hey," she said, scooping Hope into her arms and giving Miles a quick peck. "Sorry I'm late. I had an... errand to run."

"That's okay," Miles shrugged, picking Hope's toys off the floor. "How was school?"

Lola sat down on the couch and started to nurse Hope. "School was okay," she said quietly. She seemed preoccupied with something.

Miles joined her on the couch. "Your mom still visiting?" he asked, putting his arm around her.

Lola looked down at the baby, waiting for her to finish. "Yeah," she sighed. "I don't know how long she's gonna stick around, but it's weird having her there. I hate that my dad let her back here."

Miles nodded understandingly. "I felt the same when my mom and dad got back together junior year," he said, pulling her closer. He tousled her bright blue hair and kissed the top of her head.

Lola leaned into him, sighing dreamily. Hope finished nursing and Lola burped her. But then the baby spit up, getting gunk all over Lola's new blouse.

"Oh crap," Lola muttered, frowning at the mess. "Can you hand me a washcloth? There should be one in my bag."

"Yeah, sure," Miles said, leaping off the couch. He reached into her backpack and rummaged through the mess of school and baby supplies. Suddenly, he froze.

"What's wrong?" Lola asked.

Miles didn't answer for a second, still in shock at what he'd found. Hands shaking, he pulled out the small box and held it out to her, looking like he'd just discovered a bomb.

Lola stared at the box, the words "early pregnancy test" popping out in bright bold. Her face went pale. "Miles," she gulped. "It's not what you think."

Miles couldn't even look at her, he was so worked up. "Lola, are you _crazy_?" he shouted, a little more harshly than he meant to. "We _just_ had a baby! You're only seventeen, we have no money, we can _barely_ handle this one--"

" _Miles,"_ Lola cut him off. "The test isn't for me."

Miles finally looked up to her. "Wha--what?" he stuttered, embarrassed suddenly.

Lola shook her head. "I was just doing a favor for a friend, okay?" she muttered. She sounded pissed off all of a sudden.

Miles sat back on the couch next to her. "So... you're... you're not...?"

Lola rolled her eyes at him. " _No_ ," she snapped. "God Miles, _seriously_?" She turned away from him. "But good to know you think we can "barely handle" our daughter."

Miles slumped against the couch, sighing. "That's not what I meant," he said. "I just... kinda freaked."

" _Trust_ me," Lola said, looking down at the tiny baby in her arms. "I don't want any more kids until we're grown and married."

Miles couldn't help but smile a little at that. _Married_? _Lola saw them getting married in the future?_ He liked the sound of that. "Well, I'm sorry," he said, taking Hope in his arms. He paused. "Wait. If the test isn't for you, then who...?" He sat there for a minute. Then, it hit him. His face turned white as sheets. " _No,"_ he said to Lola, horrified. "No, no, _please_ tell me it's not Frankie!"

"Shh!" Lola cried instinctively, even though no one else was home. "Miles, you can't tell anyone. I promised her I would keep it a secret. And anyway, she doesn't even know for sure."

Miles felt like he was going to be sick. Maybe he was okay with being a teenage father, but he wanted more for his younger siblings. Frankie was always the "good one" out of the three of them. Things were already chaotic enough with Mr. H's sentence and Hope. He couldn't imagine bringing _another_ baby Hollingsworth into their household. He knew he was a hypocrite for this, but he thought Frankie would know better than to get herself into this situation. Especially after seeing him and Lola go through it firsthand. God, he didn't even want to think of his baby sister as being old enough to have sex. "I'm going to _kill_ Zig," he said under his breath, heated.

" _Miles_ , you can't," Lola said, giving him that same stern look she always used to get him to calm down. She took a deep breath. "Promise me you won't say anything to anyone."

Miles just clutched his forehead, still feeling sick. "Fine," he muttered.

Lola raised her eyebrows. "I mean it," she warned him.

"God, I _know_ ," Miles snapped. He bit his lip, looking at Lola apologetically. He didn't like to yell at her. "I know," he said softly. He leaned into her and looked down at the baby, wondering when life had gotten so crazy.


	69. Mama Who Bore Me

Thanks for your reviews; curious to know what you guys think about the Frankie drama. Noted about the lip biting thing; I'm going to start trying to cut back on meaningless fillers/descriptions between dialogue. Back to the Pacini house now.

 **Mama Who Bore Me**

Lola joined her parents at the table Saturday morning for breakfast, making as little eye contact with her mother as possible. She sat Hope on the table in her infant carrier, giving her a kiss on the forehead. She kept her near her side, far away from her mother-- she hadn't even let her hold the baby.

"Again with the lipstick, Mija?" Mrs. Pacini said, eyeing her daughter disapprovingly. "That shade doesn't suit you."

"I like it," Lola shrugged, slicing up her eggs benedict. What did her mom know about fashion, anyway? That sweater hadn't been in style in years. "Dad, can Miles borrow your car later this afternoon? His is in the shop, but we need to pick up some new baby clothes."

"Ah-- sorry, Princessa," Mr. Pacini said. "I was going to take your mom around the city today." He took a sip of his coffee. "Actually, why don't you come along? You can bring the baby, make a day of it."

Lola rolled her eyes. What were they, the Brady Bunch? "Yeah, I think I'll pass," she muttered.

"Well, I was hoping you would come," Mrs. Pacini said. "We haven't exactly gotten a chance to talk."

"What is there to talk about?" Lola said, still not looking at her.

"Your _life_ ," Mrs. Pacini said. "Your friends, school, how this... baby came to be--"

"Oh," Lola cut her off. "Well, that's easy to explain. Miles and I had sex at--"

" _Mija_!" Mr. Pacini said, looking horrified. "Don't talk like that."

"Why not?" Lola shrugged. "She already thinks I'm a slut anyway." She finally locked eyes with her mother, daring her to say something in response.

Mrs. Pacini just sighed. "What do I have to do to get you to talk to me?"

"I don't think there's anything you _can_ do," Lola said, shaking her head. She felt kind of bad for being like this, all mean and defensive. Everyone always thought of her as bubbly, sweet, _cute_. But Lola had grown tired of being adorable.

Her phone started buzzing all of a sudden. "Excuse me," she said, seeing Frankie's name pop up. "Hey, Franks."

"Lo?" Frankie said on the other line. She sounded happy about something, her voice high-pitched and squeaky like a little chipmunk. "I'm not pregnant!"

Lola squealed. "You're _not_?" she cried, beyond relieved. "Oh, thank god!"

"I mean, you know I love my niece and all," Frankie said, her voice still giddy. "But I really couldn't see myself in maternity clothes."

"At least I could have lent you mine," Lola laughed.

Mr. Pacini cleared his throat, looking at his daughter annoyed. He hated when she used her phone at the table, even during breakfast.

"Gotta go," Lola said quickly. "Congrats, Franks." She hung up and went back to eating her breakfast.

"What was _that_ all about?" Mrs. Pacini asked.

"Nothing," Lola said. She smelled something rotten all of a sudden. "Oops. I think someone needs a diaper change," she said, scooping Hope up.

Lola was in the middle of changing Hope's diaper when her mom came into her room. "Well, looks like you've got the diapering thing down, at least," she said, watching from a distance.

"It's not that hard," Lola shrugged, reaching for the baby powder. "I practiced on baby dolls for months when I was pregnant."

"It's still weird to think of you as ever being pregnant," Mrs. Pacini said stiffly. "Last time I saw you, you were--"

"Eleven?" Lola scoffed. "Yeah. I know. It's been a long time."

Mrs. Pacini took a seat on the bed. Lola hated to admit how much the two of them looked and sounded alike, from their petite frames right down to the way they rolled their R's. "Why won't you talk to me, Mija?" she said. "You've obviously been through... a lot. I thought you would need your mother."

"That's just _it_ ," Lola said, holding Hope closely. "I _did_ need you. I needed you when I waited outside in the rain after school that day. I needed you when I broke my arm falling down roller skating in the eighth grade. I needed you when the boy I liked chose my best friend over me. I needed you when I got pregnant. I _needed my mom_. And you weren't here." She sat down next to her on the bed. "How do you think I felt on Mother's Day, watching all the kids in my class make cards for their moms? On my birthday, not even getting a card?"

"Lola... I'm sorry," her mom said, apologizing for the first time. "About... everything."

Lola just shook her head. "Yeah," she muttered, cradling the baby against her chest. "Well, sometimes sorry isn't enough."

Mrs. Pacini looked over at the baby. "She has the same eyes as your father, you know," she pointed out.

"They're Miles' eyes," Lola said. "They're exactly alike."

"Are you ever going to let me be a part of her life?" Mrs. Pacini said, her eyes sad as she looked at the baby.

"I don't know," Lola said. She sighed. "I'm not saying that to be mean, I just... I don't know."


	70. Mayor's Daughter

I know a lot of people were interested in the Frankie storyline, so I thought I'd try something new-- writing a chapter from her POV. Hopefully you guys like it; if not then I won't write from other perspectives besides Mola's again lol. This chapter gets a little racier than usual FYI xx

 **Mayor's Daughter**

Frankie hung up from Lola, beyond relieved at the good news she'd just shared. She never thought she would be excited about getting her period, but menstrual cramps were infinitely better than a baby. She shuddered thinking about what Lola had gone through last year, always complaining about stretch marks and hemmoroids and other things Frankie didn't want to think about.

She felt kind of bad now for how harshly she had judged Lola in the beginning. It wasn't just because Lola had slept with Miles, it was also because Frankie was sick of Lola being such an... _airhead_. Who takes their birth control backwards, for godssakes? Even though she knew it was selfish, Frankie had mostly been worried about what people would say about _her_ if they knew her best friend got knocked up by her brother.

And while Lola was the one getting all of the stares, Frankie did get her fair share of snide comments. When the news first broke about Lola and Miles' secret, Esme laughed at Frankie and sneered, "Gee, you Hollingsworths are sure screwed up... guess you're still the only one not getting screwed, though. Did they do it in _your_ bed?" It was really pathetic, Frankie realized, that it was Esme who she turned to months later. With Lola distracted by Miles and baby stuff and Shay busy with Tiny, Frankie had found herself feeling really... alone. Like scary alone. She was afraid she'd slip back into the depression she'd had sophomore year after her parents' split and her breakup with Winston. She was still taking anti-depressants, though nobody at school knew except for her brothers. She didn't want anyone to see her that way, like she was sick or something. Between Miles' drug addiction and Hunter's stay at the psych ward, it was really up to her to be the "good kid" in the family.

She was starting to feel that way again these past couple of months, that familiar numbness and sense of emptiness that she knew all too well. She'd needed something to take her mind off of things, off of her Dad, the baby, Jonah, family drama. So when Zig dumped Esme for good, Frankie practically threw herself into his lap.

Her, Zig, and Esme hadn't really done much when the three of them had "dated" previously. Mostly, she just watched while they fucked around. Occasionally Esme would invite Frankie to come make out with them or something, but it was nothing like the wild threesomes the rest of the school assumed they were having.

Frankie thought it would be different now that it was just her and Zig. She thought she could prove that she could be a real girlfriend this time, not just some toy for him and Esme to play with when they needed to spice up their sex life. But Frankie had been with Zig for a month now and he still hadn't used the word "girlfriend," much less said "I love you" or anything coupley. Frankie thought maybe if they just kept having sex, he would eventually say something to solidify their relationship. But so far, no dice. A tiny part of her almost wished the test had been positive so Zig would have to stick around, so he couldn't just get bored and leave like Jonah, Winston, and everyone else seemed to do.

It wasn't even good the first time they had sex, Frankie could admit. She and Zig had been fooling around in the pool house one late summer afternoon, really just passing time. As usual, she was going down on him. He had yet to do the same for her, claiming he wasn't really "into that." Frankie wondered if Esme had really put up with this for a year.

When Frankie had finished, Zig kept his jeans unzipped. "You know," he said, sliding off his shirt and tossing his jeans off all the way. "We don't have to stop at third base."

Frankie had hesitated at first-- last time she tried to lose her virginity, she literally set her room on fire. "I've uh... I've never done that before," she said, cringing at how lame she must have sounded.

"Come on," Zig smirked. He kissed her neck. "It's no big deal."

Frankie blushed at the rush of his lips on her neck, feeling shivers shoot up her spine. "What about protection?"

"Don't worry," Zig said, playing with her bra under her tank top. "I always come prepared." He winked, pulling out the gold wrapper from his wallet.

Frankie looked at him for a minute, then leaned in and kissed him, tossing her top off. _What did she have to lose?_

It wasn't like in the movies, all slow and romantic with candle lighting and cuddling after. It only lasted about three minutes and Zig took off soon after, giving her a quick peck on the cheek and saying he'd call her later.

When Zig had left, Frankie ran into her bathroom and cried. This wasn't how she'd imagined it, not even close. It was supposed to be with someone she loved, someone who _meant_ something. She hadn't exactly expected Zig to declare his love for her or anything, but he could have at least asked if she was okay, if it felt good, if she was comfortable. She couldn't even look herself in the mirror, she was so ashamed.

And yet... the next day, she found herself back in that pool house with him doing the same thing all over again. It was a little better the second time, with Zig actually stopping to make sure it didn't hurt. They ended up there again the day after that. Then in her room. The car. The pool. The closet. By the end of summer, they'd pretty much covered every possible spot in the house. Sometimes they used protection-- sometimes Frankie just trusted him to pull out in time. She knew it was stupid, especially given what had had happened with Lola and Miles. But for some reason, she just couldn't bring herself to really care.

Now, Frankie tossed her cell phone in her jacket pocket and walked back into the living room where Zig was waiting for her on the couch.

"Hey," he said, handing her a bowl of popcorn and pulling up Netflix. "Where were you?"

Frankie took a handful of popcorn, not looking at him. "I uh... just had to call Lola about something."

Zig snorted. "Baby drama?" He slid his arm over her. "Man. I'm glad _we_ don't have to deal with that."

"Yeah," Frankie said quietly, her cheeks turning red. She leaned into him a little. She closed her eyes and sighed as Zig started the movie, trying to imagine herself being some place very far away from everything and everyone.


	71. Double Date

I'm glad the Frankie chapter seemed to be pretty well-received! I have a lot of stuff coming up with the Mama Pacini storyline heh heh. Thanks for sticking with the story for this long, I don't plan on ending it anytime soon! Sorry this chapter took awhile. Also, Esme and Yael will come back soon. xx

 **Double Date**

Lola laid on the floor next to Hope, watching her play with the baby gym Mrs. Hollingsworth bought for them. Some of the funds from Mr. H's accounts had transferred over successfully, so money wasn't quite as tight anymore. It took some stress off of all of them, which they definitely needed right now.

Hope tried reaching for the little toys hanging in front of her, intrigued by the bright colors. Lola couldn't help but laugh at the way the baby stuck her tongue out whenever she was concentrating on something.

Hope was getting stronger now too. She could hold her head up on her own for a few seconds and was really into grabbing things, even if her grip wasn't quite developed enough. Lately, her favorite thing to reach for was Lola's nose.

"Ow!" Lola cried as Hope whacked her face. She laughed and picked up the baby, shaking her head. Hope had always been a ball of energy, from the moment she started kicking to now. Lola wanted to claim the baby got it from Miles' side of the family, but she knew it was her own bubbliness that she saw in her daughter.

The doorbell rang. "Oh, there's Aunt Frankie!" Lola cooed, walking over to the front door with Hope against her shoulder.

"There's my niece!" Frankie smiled, scooping the baby in her arms. Hope reached for her nose, almost like she was honking a horn. " _Ow_ , what the--"

"Sorry," Lola giggled, taking the baby back. "She just started doing that."

"That's okay," Frankie shrugged. "Probably another reason to be happy the test was negative, huh? I'm not exactly great with babies."

"That's not true," Lola offered, trying to keep Hope from grabbing _her_ face now. "Ouch. Hope, _stop_ that." She laid Hope back on the floor with her baby gym and took a seat on the bed next to Frankie. "Sorry it's such a mess in here," Lola said, yawning. "I haven't had much energy to clean. The baby woke me up five times last night."

"I don't know how you do it, Lo," Frankie muttered, shaking her head. She glanced around. "Is your mom here?"

"No," Lola said. "My dad took her to lunch or something." She sighed. "She's been here for _weeks_ now."

"That sucks," Frankie said quietly. "Are you okay?"

"Not... not really," Lola admitted. "All she does is criticize me. ' _Mija, you shouldn't hold the baby like that. Mija, why did you dye your hair that ridiculous color? Mija, those shorts show your stretch marks'..._ and she wonders why I don't talk to her."

Frankie nodded sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Lo."

"Thanks for asking, though," Lola said, holding the baby close. "I... I missed you lately. We've barely seen each other since school started."

"You mean since _Zig_ started," Frankie said, laughing. "Yeah, sorry. I know I've been kind of a crap friend lately."

Lola smiled a little. "Well, at least you've toned your lipstick down a little," she said, noticing Frankie had switched back to her usual light red. "Did you ever tell Zig about the scare?"

"No," Frankie shrugged, looking a little sad. "Like I said, we don't really have that kind of relationship. He hasn't even taken me on a real date." She paused. "Actually, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I was thinking maybe we could do a... well, like a double date."

Lola made a face. "Oh Franks, I don't know," she muttered. Miles already disliked Zig enough, but after the pregnancy scare, he absolutely despised him. Lola was surprised he hadn't decked Zig yet, honestly. Plus, seeing Frankie and Zig suck face kind of grossed Lola out. She still didn't understand why Frankie was even with him in the first place.

" _Please,"_ Frankie begged with those same puppy dog eyes she used to convince her dad to get her a pony for her birthday that one year. "We can just go to like... The Dot or something. And my mom can babysit for Hope. Plus, I know you and Miles haven't been able to go on a date for months."

It _had_ been a long time since she and Miles had been out, Lola admitted. And it would be kind of nice to have a night off from baby stuff. "Okay," Lola sighed. "I guess so."

"Yay!" Frankie squealed, sounding like a little kid who had too much sugar. "We'll pick you up at seven."

" _Tonight_?" Lola said. She looked down at the baby, who was tugging on Lola's hair and trying to put it in her mouth. She tossed her hair back out of Hope's reach. "That doesn't give me much time. I don't even have an outfit picked out."

"Oh, come on," Frankie laughed. "You're a mom. Nobody expects you to try and look hot."

Lola tried not to be offended by that. "Fine. Tonight it is."

At 6:45, Frankie called Lola. "So, it turns out Mom can't babysit tonight. She's meeting up with friends or something."

Lola pretended to sound disappointed. "Oh well," she sighed, smiling at Hope. "Guess we'll just have to take a raincheck."

"No, you should just take the baby with us!" Frankie said, like it was an obvious solution.

"Um," Lola said. "Well, I'd have to pack the diaper bag and she'd probably cry a lot and of course I'm still nursing, and--"

"See you in 20 minutes!" Frankie cried, hanging up before Lola had a chance to finish.

" _Aghhhh!_ " Lola cried, tossing her phone across the room. She looked down at Hope and sighed. "Alright, baby," she groaned, bouncing her up and down. "I guess we're going on a date." Hope gurgled and gave her a tiny smile.

Miles came to her door about 40 minutes later. "Sorry we're late," he said, taking the baby into his arms. "The jackass can't even be on time, apparently." He glanced over at Zig's car, his eyes practically shooting darts at it.

" _Hey_ ," Lola tsked, covering Hope's tiny ears. "Don't use that language around the baby."

Miles took a deep breath as Zig honked his horn.

"Easy there, big brother," Lola laughed, a little nervous. "Let's just try and make the most of tonight, okay?"

Miles put his arm around her. "I'll do my best," he sighed, getting Hope into her car seat.

They ended up at a booth in the back of The Dot. Hope wasn't big enough to sit in a high-chair yet, so Lola had to just hold her. She tugged on Lola's hair and waved her little arms around, shrieking and cooing happily.

Zig looked at the baby like she was some foreign object. "Uh... so how old's the kid?" he asked awkwardly.

"Little over three months," Lola said, trying to keep her from squirming so much. "She's a handful," she added, kissing the top of her head.

"Yeah," Zig said slowly, sliding his arm over Frankie. "Can't imagine having a kid at this age." He laughed and took a sip of his drink.

"At least _some_ of us take responsibility," Miles muttered under his breath, grimacing.

Lola elbowed him. " _Miles_ ," she hissed.

Frankie tried to change the subject. "Uh, so," she cleared her throat. "Zig works at a restaurant too, you know. He's working in the kitchen at the hotel down the street from Degrassi. Zig, you know my brother works at the Cantina now."

"Oh yeah?" Zig said, trying to seem interested. "That's cool."

Miles smiled politely, but didn't say anything. All he could focus on was the way Zig had his arm around Frankie, reaching close to her chest like she was nothing more than a piece of arm candy. Thank god Frankie wasn't pregnant-- that kid probably would have come out wearing a combover and leather jacket.

After they ordered their food, Hope started to cry. "Sorry," Lola said, reaching for the diaper bag. "She's probably hungry." She draped a blanket over herself and pulled down her shirt.

Zig stared at Lola wide-eyed as she nursed the baby. Frankie slugged him a little. " _What_?" he said.

"So," Miles cleared his throat. "What happened to your plans, Zig? I thought you were going to California with Tiny and Maya."

Zig shrugged. "Maya didn't want any... baggage," he said. "She wanted a fresh start in California."

"Mmm," Miles mused. "I see. So Frankie was like, your backup plan."

" _Miles_!" Frankie said, giving her brother a death glare.

Miles just ignored her, smiling. "All I'm saying is the guy could at least be up front about his intentions." He glanced over at the baby. "God forbid anything were to _happen_."

Zig sat up, looking Miles in the eye. "Okay-- what's your problem, man?"

"Nothing," Miles smiled. He took a sip of his drink. "No problem at all."

Frankie looked at Lola. "You told him, didn't you?" she whispered, looking pissed off.

"Uh... no?" Lola shrugged, still nursing Hope. She had never been a good liar.

Frankie just shook her head.

"Everything okay?" Zig asked, sliding his arm down further.

"Just great," Frankie smiled. She shot Miles a quick glare.

Hope finished nursing and spit up all over Lola.

"Gross," Zig muttered. "Yeah, I can't really see myself having kids," he laughed.

"Well, then you sure dodged a bullet," Miles snapped.

" _Miles_!" Frankie cried.

"Okay, what are you talking about?" Zig said, moving his arm away.

Frankie turned to Zig. "Nothing," she said, trying to smile.

Zig raised his eyebrows. "Tell me, babe," he said, brushing her cheek.

Frankie took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact with all of them. "It's just... earlier this week, I... I thought I might be pregnant."

Zig's face dropped.

"But I'm not!" Frankie added quickly. "I swear, I'm not!"

Zig stared at her for a second. "Well," he said, scooting away. "Thanks for telling everyone except for me." He got up from the table, excusing himself to catch some air.

"Zig!" Frankie cried, running after him. She turned and looked back at Miles. "You're _dead_ ," she said.

Lola sank into her seat, handing the fussy baby off to Miles. "Great double date," she mumbled. Hope spit up again, landing on Miles' shirt this time.


	72. All These Things I've Done

Okay so Miles was a little irritating in the last chapter, but it was fun to write. Here's some Mola. I think they're pretty in character here, so hopefully nobody finds it too cheesy. I just feel like it's important to still show them as a couple xx

 **All These Things I've Done**

"You just couldn't help yourself, could you?" Lola said to Miles as they walked into her bedroom. She set the baby down in her bassinet. "You just _had_ to make a scene with Zig."

"Lo, come on," Miles said. "The guy's a jackass."

Lola covered Hope's ears again, as if she was really going to just start spewing out curse words. "It wasn't your _business,"_ she snapped. "And anyway, you're not exactly in a position to talk. You basically ignored me for weeks after _I_ told _you_ I was pregnant."

"I did _not_!" Miles cried, even though he knew Lola had a point.

"Oh really?" Lola said, hands on her hips. "I seem to recall you ditching play rehearsals just so you didn't have to look at me. You practically ran to your classes every day just so I wouldn't bump into you in the halls."

"That's not fair," Miles said, looking hurt. Okay, maybe he had done those things. Maybe he had acted like a scared little boy at first. But he had stepped up to his responsibilities and been a real father, from being at every doctor's appointment to sitting with Lola through labor to watching Hope every day so Lola could keep going to school.

Lola took a seat on the bed, not looking at him. "I just don't see where you get off acting all high and mighty," she muttered. "God Miles, we had a kid at sixteen. We're not exactly the moral guardians."

Miles sat down next to her. "Fine," he muttered. "I'll apologize."

Lola sighed. "I don't mean to take everything out on you," she said. "It's just... I don't feel like I fit in with anyone our age anymore. It's like, I can't even remember who I was before I was Hope's mom."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Miles said, putting his arm around her. "I miss doing stuff too. Like playing video games with Chewy and working on plays."

"Right," Lola laughed, not looking at him. "Plays about Tristan."

"What?" Miles said. "No, I wrote the play for you. I mean, Zoe made me edit it like crazy. But the original version was all about you... about us."

Lola leaned in and kissed him. "Really?" she asked, blushing a little.

" _I.m. Hope_ ," Miles smiled. "You'll always be my hope, Lo."

Hope started to whimper.

"Guess she recognizes her name," Lola laughed, scooping the fussy baby into her arms. She took her over to the bed and sat down next to Miles. She took a deep breath. "Miles, do you ever... regret anything?" She sighed. "I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I stole all these opportunities from you."

"No, no," Miles said, taking the baby. "Of course not. Lola, I'm happy." He pulled the baby close to him and laughed a little. "I mean, maybe we could have waited another ten years before kids, but... Hope brought us together." He looked down at the tiny baby, who was finally closing her eyes. "I think this is the way things are supposed to be."

"Yeah," Lola agreed. "I think Hope was meant to be." She leaned against his shoulder, stroking Hope's cheek. "I've never regretted her. The circumstances, maybe... but never her."

"Yeah," Miles agreed quietly. He turned to Lola. "Hey... what... what did I miss at that first doctor's appointment? You know, the one I kinda ditched you at." He shrugged apologetically.

Lola smiled. "You really wanna know?" she asked. She took Hope back. "Well, it's kind of embarrassing, actually. After you ran out, I kind of, um... well, I cried a little. I was mad at you and I was a mess of hormones. The doctor was kind of intimidating at first, but then he made things less scary. He asked me about school and my favorite subjects and told me this funny story about how doctors were barbers in the Middle Ages."

Miles frowned. "I made you cry?"

Lola shrugged. "Like I said, I was pretty hormonal," she said. "Anyway, after he calmed me down, he let me listen to Hope's heartbeat. It was really loud, even back then. And then he went through the ultrasound with me again and explained how the baby already had fingers and toes and what to expect in the next month. And he didn't get mad when I started crying again."

"Shit," Miles muttered, looking sad. "I'm sorry I missed all that."

"That's okay," Lola said, rocking the baby back and forth. "You were there for the next appointment."

"Yeah, I know," Miles said, staring at the baby. "But still-- I wish I was there for everything. I mean, you must have been terrified when you first realized you were pregnant."

Lola nodded. "I was," she admitted. "Actually, I kind of realized it weeks before I could even take a test. Working at my dad's restaurant made me queasy all of a sudden, I was tired all the time, and my jeans felt tight."

"You could have told me," Miles said. "I would have gotten the test for you... I could've taken you to the doctor's to get a blood test, even."

"You were busy with Tristan back then," Lola shrugged. She walked over and put the sleeping baby in the basinnet. "I didn't want to bother you. Besides, that was before I knew I wanted to keep her."

Miles laid down, motioning for Lola to join him. "I'm sorry this all happened when you were sixteen," he said. "But, I'm glad we got the kid we did."

Lola leaned over and kissed him. "Yeah," she said, smiling. "She's perfect." She kissed him again and he kissed her back. She let him roam his hands under her shirt and undo her bra, suddenly in the mood. She tossed his shirt off, her hands wandering down his jeans.

Suddenly, the lights turned on. "Ahem!"

Lola nearly screamed. " _Mom_!" she cried, quickly covering herself back up. "Don't you _knock_?" In the background, Hope started to cry. Great.

" _This_ is why I came back," Mrs. Pacini tsked, looking at Miles disapprovingly as he scrambled to throw his shirt back on. "What, are you _trying_ to get yourself knocked up again?"

Lola looked at Miles apologetically. "Just go," she said hurriedly, shoving him out of the room. Miles avoided eye contact with Mrs. Pacini, running out the door without saying goodbye.

" _Not_ cool," Lola said to her mom, rushing over to the basinnet. The baby was still crying.

"With me around, there will be some new rules," Mrs. Pacini said. "10:00 curfew. And no boys in your room. _Especially_ that one."

Lola almost laughed. "Good luck enforcing that one," she said, rocking the crying baby back and forth. "Miles needs to be here to help out with Hope."

"When Miles is here, I want you in the living room where I can see you two," Mrs. Pacini continued. "You've already ruined your life enough, Mija. You don't need to screw it up anymore."

" _Hey_!" Lola snapped. "I didn't ruin my life, okay? At least I didn't just abandon my daughter like _some_ people."

Mr. Pacini came in all of a sudden. "What's all the fuss?" he asked, still in his pajamas. He looked exhausted.

"Nothing," Lola said, holding Hope close. "Nothing at all."

Mr. Pacini just shook his head. "Go to bed, Mija."

"We'll talk about this in the morning," Mrs. Pacini added. Lola just ignored her.

Lola shut her bedroom door, sinking into the rocking chair with Hope. "Don't listen to her, baby," she whispered. "Grandma's just a big old meanie."

Wait. Lola paused. She heard her parents chatting in Spanish as usual, but then... oh god. No, no, _no_. The noises she heard coming from her dad's bedroom... _no_. They couldn't be _doing it_ , Lola tried to assure herself over the moans coming from the other side of the wall.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Lola said to Hope. Then she and the baby both started to cry.


	73. Family Business

Just a short little Hollingsworth chapter here because I love writing all the siblings together. Sorry if this one is a bit fillerish. Next chapter is going to be wild tho... xx

 **Family Business**

Miles stood in the kitchen mixing ingredients together, Hope strapped around him in her baby carrier. She was just starting to babble a little, going from inaudible coos to more of the classic "baby talk." She was quite chatty, actually. It was like she had her own language and millions of thoughts to share.

"Gahhh goo," she said, sucking her thumb.

"That's right," Miles said, smiling down at her. "Daddy's cooking tonight."

"Neeba wahh goooo!" Hope squealed in response.

Miles chuckled. "Sorry, "baby" isn't my first language," he said.

 _"Eeee gabba gabba wahh!"_ Hope cried, waving her tiny fists around in the air.

Miles decided to play along. "Goo goo ga ga," he cooed back, ruffling the baby's hair. He reached for her bottle. "You want your ba-ba?"

"Geez, what are you... on drugs again?" Hunter said, rolling his eyes at Miles' baby talk.

Miles snorted. "No, and I'm still not giving you any weed," he laughed. He glanced around the living room. "Have you seen our sister?"

"Probably still locked up in her room," Hunter shrugged. The baby squealed at him. "She was pretty pissed off at you. What'd you do, anyway?"

"Fair enough," Miles muttered. "I may have uh... pissed off her boyfriend. If you can even call him that."

Hunter just grinned. "Well, congrats. I've been wanting to do that for years," he said. Hope reached out towards him. Miles shrugged and handed her over to Hunter, who still looked petrified every time he held the baby. "So, um... Dad called the other day."

Miles perked up, trying to seem surprised. "Oh?" he said coolly. "What'd he want?"

"Just wanted to say hi, I guess," Hunter said. Hope tugged on his hair and started to chew on it. He swatted her little hand away, a little tougher than he meant to, and she started to wail.

Miles shot him a disapproving look and took the baby back. "I wish Lola didn't have to study tonight," he muttered, tired. "Anyway, uh... Dad say anything else?" he asked, his forehead dripping slightly with sweat.

"Not really," Hunter said. "I don't know. It's weird knowing he's in prison. Orange jumpsuit and everything." He shuddered a little. "I mean, I thought if anyone in our family was going to end up in jail, it would be me."

"You're still taking your medicine, right?" Miles asked. He didn't want to sound so much like a parent, but the twins were kind of his responsibility.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry," Hunter mumbled. "Mom watches me do it every morning." He paused, making a face. "What's that smell?"

" _Shoot_ ," Miles cried, rushing over to the stove. "The macaroni's burning!"

Hunter couldn't help but laugh. "You burnt _mac_ _n cheese?"_

Miles sighed. He couldn't even do this _one_ stupid thing. "How do you feel about ordering pizza?"

"Fine by me," Hunter said, pulling out his cell phone to dial.

Miles nodded. "Watch her for a minute, will you?" he asked, handing the baby off to his brother. He went up the stairs in search for Frankie.

He knocked on her door. "Frankie?" he called. " _Frankieeeee_."

"The door's _open."_

Miles walked into his sister's bedroom, expecting to find her sobbing or something. But to his surprise, she was just sitting on her bed doing her nails and humming quietly to herself.

"You okay?" Miles asked awkwardly. "Haven't seen you all weekend."

Frankie barely looked up. "I've been busy," she shrugged, filing her nails. She didn't seem angry with him, at least.

Miles took a seat on the bed. "I'm uh, I'm sorry, Franks," he said. "You know, for what I did on the double date. Guess that whole overprotective big brother instinct kicked in for once."

Frankie blew on her nail polish. "It's fine," she muttered. "Actually, Zig and I are better than ever."

Miles looked at her in confusion. "You're... _better_?" he said. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"You know," Frankie said nonchalantly. "We talked things out." She put her nail polish down. "He's officially my boyfriend now." She smiled. "Isn't that great?"

"You, uh..." Miles said, stumbling on his words. "You guys talked about the whole pregnancy scare thing?"

Frankie didn't look at him. "Mm, not really," she said. "I just told him I was for sure not pregnant and that was that." She shrugged. "It really wasn't that big of a deal."

"Um, it kind of _is_ a big deal," Miles said. "Frankie, you couldn't even talk to the guy about it. What makes you think labeling the relationship is going to fix anything?"

"Well, you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" Frankie said, rolling her eyes. "Since you're such an expert on everything these days."

"Frankie, I just..." Miles sighed. "Why are you even with him?"

Frankie just stared at him. "I don't know, Miles-- why did you hook up with Lola? Or Esme? Or Zoe? Or Tristan? Or all those other girls and guys? When you hook up with people it's no big deal, but when I do it's suddenly everyone's business?" She got off the bed. "Zig makes me feel good. What's wrong with that?"

Miles sighed. "Look, I just don't want to see you get hurt, okay? You don't know how easy it is to do something that can change your life forever--"

"Miles, you're talking about you," Frankie said. "You're the one with the baby. Not me." She reapplied her lip gloss. "Anyway," she muttered, puckering her lips. "I'm going over to Zig's. I'll see you later." She shoved him aside and went downstairs.

Miles slumped over on the bed and sighed deeply. His little sister was probably going to get herself hurt again and he could do absolutely nothing to stop it. He was seriously dreading the day Hope was old enough to start dating.


	74. Be Our Guest

Oh boy, this chapter is an interesting one. I'm hoping Lola is still pretty IC but I felt she needed to be a little rebellious here. Let me know what you think xx

 **Be Our Guest**

Lola hummed to herself as she set the table for four, pulling out the fancy glasses and plates her dad saved for special occasions. She had Hope strapped to her in her baby carrier, the baby cooing and babbling away.

"Tonight's going to be a _great_ night," she cooed to Hope, taking her out of the carrier and sinking into the couch. "Just great." She smiled down at the baby, who just sucked her thumb in response.

Suddenly, the door slammed. "Oh good, you're home," Mrs. Pacini said, Mr. Pacini right behind her. "Listen, your father and I wanted to discuss--"

"Me first," Lola said. She smiled angelically. "I thought we could cook some empanadas and chorizo tonight? Maybe some dulce de leche and ice cream for dessert?" She batted her eyelashes. "Have a big old meal as a family, like old times?"

Mrs. Pacini sat down in the chair next to her. "Well," she said, looking surprised, "that actually sounds... nice." She glanced at the dining room table and paused. "Wait. Why are there four placemats set?"

Just then, the doorbell rang. "Oh," Lola cried, leaping off the couch. "That must be Miles!"

" _What_?" Mrs. Pacini said. "Lola, we never said you could have him over!" She looked to Lola's dad, crossing her arms in disapproval. Mr. Pacini just shrugged awkwardly. He never really got between the two of them.

Lola ran towards the door, still carrying Hope on her shoulder. Her mom stomped after her, calling, "Lola, I absolutely _forbid_ you from--"

Lola just ignored her. "Miles!" she squealed, opening the door and handing the baby to him. She leaned in and kissed him extra hard, slipping a little tongue in.

Miles just stared at her, a little surprised. But he sure wasn't complaining. "Um, hi," he said sheepishly, turning to Lola's mom and holding out his hand for her to shake. "I don't think we've formally met. I'm Miles."

Mrs. Pacini didn't shake his hand. "I know who you are," she said coldly. She looked at Lola sternly. "Lola, can I see you in the kitchen?"

"Oh, sure," Lola said cheerfully. "Actually, let's _all_ go in the kitchen. Miles, do you want anything to drink? Beer? Scotch? Gin?"

Miles frowned at her, looking uneasy. "Um, water is fine."

They sat down at the table, where Lola already had food waiting for them. "Hope you're all hungry," Lola said, putting Hope in her carrier. "I've been cooking all day."

"It uh, smells good," Miles said, taking a sip of his water. The way Lola's mom was looking at him made him sort of nervous.

"So," Lola said. She sat down next to Miles and smiled. "I thought it would be a good idea for everyone to get to know each other."

Lola's mom quietly sipped her water, still scowling. "Yes, um... where exactly did you two... where did you meet?" she asked, looking to Miles and Lola.

"Well, my sister--" Miles started to say, but Lola caught him off.

"I'm best friends with his younger sister," Lola finished his sentence for him. "But we didn't _really_ start hanging out until last year when his boyfriend was in a coma. Then, at this party, he and I had--"

"Lola!" Miles said, his cheeks red from embarrassment. "Jesus," he muttered.

"Oh, come on," Lola brushed him off, staring straight at her mom. "It's not like us having sex is some big secret. We've probably done it _dozens_ of times." She looked back and forth between her parents. "And it's not like I'm the only one in this house who's--"

"Mija!" Mr. Pacini interrupted. "That's _enough_."

Mrs. Pacini turned to Lola's dad. "And you just allow this? Under our roof?"

"Technically it's only _his_ roof," Lola muttered, sipping her water. Miles elbowed her.

"Um, so Miles, tell me something else," Mrs. Pacini said. "How about your family?"

"Uh, well, I have younger siblings. Twins. Boy and a girl," Miles said. "My mom is a stay-at-home mom." He grabbed some more food. "And um, my dad... he's... out of the picture."

"In prison, actually," Lola said, still smiling. "Yeah," she chuckled, like this was some game. "Luckily, Miles is a _much_ better dad than him."

Miles kicked Lola under the table. "Can I _talk_ to you?" he whispered, gritting his teeth.

Lola just smiled. "Sure, baby," she said, leaning in to kiss him. He turned away from her and Lola ended up smooching his cheek and staining it with bright red lipstick.

Lola followed him into the other room, carrying the baby with them. "It's _totally_ working," she whispered. "Did you see how pissed my mom got when--"

Miles looked her straight in the eye. "You lied to me."

"What?" Lola said. "No, I-- I told you I wanted you to come to dinner. And I thought you understood, you know, about my mom."

"Lola, I'm not your _prop_!" Miles said, getting angry. "I'm not some toy for you to use to piss off your parents!" He stared down at the floor, looking hurt. "I thought your mom actually wanted to meet me. But I bet you didn't even tell them I was coming over, did you?"

Lola just stared at him. "Miles," she cried, feeling awful now. She hadn't meant to hurt him.

Miles sighed. "Look, Lo," he said. "I'm telling you from experience, this _doesn't_ work. You can't solve your family problems this way."

Lola felt like crying. "I'm just so _sick_ of her telling me what to do!" she said. "I just wanted to show her that she can't just come back and run my life for me. I-- I thought maybe she would take the hint and leave."

Miles just shook his head. "It's not that easy," he muttered. "Trust me." He gave Hope a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm going to go," he said, barely looking at Lola. "I'll see you later."

Lola sank to the floor as she watched him leave. She looked down at the baby and started to cry.


	75. Just Roll With It

I felt bad for how Lola treated Miles in the last chapter, but I felt it kinda made sense for the storyline. Here's a short Mola chapter. Kind of fluffy but I think it's needed in between dramatic scenes xx

 **Just Roll With It**

The next morning, Lola knocked on the Hollingsworth door and waited anxiously for Miles to come to the door. She felt awful for how she had acted last night. After he'd left, she took Hope into her room and just cried herself to sleep, not bothering to finish dinner.

To her disappointment, it was Hunter who answered the door. "Oh, hey," he said. "Miles is upstairs. Or were you looking for Frankie?"

Lola stepped inside the Hollingsworth mansion, carrying Hope in her baby sling. She was barely awake, just cozied up in her little hat and onesie. "No uh, I'm here for Miles," Lola said. She followed Hunter up the stairs, awkwardly making small talk about vlogging stuff. She and Yael wanted to film some videos about Halloween costumes, but hadn't found much time after school.

Lola waved goodbye to Hunter and knocked on Miles' door. She went ahead and just opened it, wanting to see him right away.

Miles was just lying in bed reading. He almost always had a book with him-- today it was _Catcher In the Rye_. "Hi," he mumbled, barely looking up.

Lola took Hope out of her sling and joined him on the bed, cradling the tiny baby in her arms. "You didn't answer my texts."

"I didn't?" Miles shrugged, eyes still glued to his book. "Must have forgotten."

"Miles, I want to apologize," Lola said. "You're right, I was using you to piss off my mom and I... I was wrong." She moved closer to him. "I'm sorry."

Miles finally set his book down. "Well, thank you," he said. "I appreciate that." He sighed, scooting over so Lola could lie next to him. "Lo, I'm not mad. I'm just worried. This isn't like you."

"I think my parents are back together," Lola said, finally admitting it. A part of her thought if she didn't say it out loud it wouldn't be true, but she had heard them together nearly every night this week. A couple of days ago, she even caught a glimpse of them kissing in the hall. They acted platonic in front of Lola, but she wasn't sure how long they were planning to keep up the act.

"I'm really sorry, Lola," Miles said. "Did you try talking to your dad about it?"

Lola just shrugged. "No," she said. "I don't think it would make much of a difference. I doubt he'd listen to me."

"Yeah, I get what you mean," Miles sighed. "I went through the same thing a couple of years ago when my mom started seeing my dad again." He kissed the top of her head and ran his fingers through her hair gently. He just held her for a minute, the baby sleeping in between them.

Lola's mind started to wander as she looked down at Hope, thinking back to when she and Miles first shopped for baby supplies months ago.

 _Lola picked up a tiny stuffed goat. "Let's get this!" she said to Miles, tossing it into the cart._

 _Miles looked at the stuffed animal and laughed. "What are we gonna do with that?" he asked. "Besides, I don't think newborns can play with toys like that."_

 _"But it's cuuuuute," Lola insisted._

 _Miles just shook his head laughing. "Fine," he said, giving her a peck on the cheek. "If it'll make you happy."_

 _A few people walked by and looked at the teen parents disapprovingly. Lola had sort of grown used to the stares by now, but sometimes they still made her feel crappy. After another old guy gave her a dirty look, she started to cry._

 _"Hey," Miles said, pulling her close. "Hey, it's okay." He pulled the toy goat out of the shopping cart. "I'll buy you as many of these as you want if it'll make you smile."_

 _Lola laughed a little. She felt the baby start to kick again. "I'm starting to think this kid is going to come out wearing a karate uniform."_

"You alright, Lo?"

Lola snapped back into it. "Hmm? Oh. Yeah." She glanced down at Hope, who was awake again. "Do you still have that stuffed goat?" she asked Miles, smiling.

Miles got up and opened his closet door. "Yeah, right here," he said, pulling out the stuffed animal. "I'd forgotten all about it," he laughed.

"Let's see what Hope thinks of it," Lola said, scooping the baby up. "Now that she's old enough to actually sorta play with it," she smiled.

The three of them laid on the floor together. Miles and Lola waved the toy around and just watched Hope lay on her tummy as she made happy little baby sounds.

She started fidgeting around a lot, more than usual. "Hope?" Lola said, a little worried. "You okay, baby?"

Suddenly, Hope rolled over onto her backside.

"Oh my gosh!" Lola cried. "She just rolled over!" She picked the baby up, kissing her happily. "Our baby can _roll over_!"

Miles hugged the two of them, beaming. "Way to go, Hope!"

"Eeee!" Hope cried, smiling. Miles and Lola looked at each other and laughed. As long as they had each other, they would be okay.


	76. Thanksgiving

Loved waking up to all those reviews yesterday! Man, Hope is growing up too fast... already 4 months :'( Some wild stuff coming up. Here's a (Canadian) Thanksgiving chapter (it's October rn in the story!) that will bring some interesting interactions xx

 **Thanksgiving**

It was that time of the year again-- the leaves were changing, the temperatures were dropping, and the days were getting shorter. Thanksgiving was right around the corner, which meant that the annual Degrassi Family Feast was too.

Miles hadn't wanted to go, but Frankie insisted he and Lola make an appearance. She had been helping out with student council as a way to earn extra credit to make up for skipping so many classes this past semester. Besides, lots of people were home from university for the holidays and planning on going-- Zoe, Winston, Maya, Tiny, and more.

"Miles, look at this!" Lola cried, calling him over to the changing table where Hope was. "Doesn't she look _adorable_?"

Miles smiled at the baby. She was wearing her new floral onesie and little pink hat. Her green eyes popped out against her long lashes in the light-- she really was a beautiful baby. "She looks great, Lo," Miles said, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend.

Lola smiled a little as Miles kissed her neck. "I hope she doesn't get too fussy," she sighed. "Everyone already thinks I'm crazy for bringing the baby to a school event."

"Ahh, who cares what they think," Miles said, twirling Lola's hair. He picked up the diaper bag. "Alright. I packed some diapers, change of clothes, her blankie, her pacifier, a couple of toys... anything else?"

Lola scooped Hope off the changing table, cradling her on her shoulder. "Mm, nope. I think that should--"

"You _guys!_ Hurry up! We don't have all day!"

"... should do it," Lola said. "God Frankie, give us a second. You sound like me when I was in labor."

"No, she'd be swearing more," Miles laughed. He frowned at his sister's low-cut dress. "Do you really have to wear _that_?"

"I like it," Frankie shrugged. "Besides, Maya's going to be there-- I have to look extra hot for Zig."

Miles rolled his eyes. "Jealousy isn't a good look on you, Franks. Neither is that dress."

"Do I _have_ to go?" Hunter whined, joining them in the nursery. He tugged on his collar uncomfortably.

" _Yes_ ," Frankie groaned. "You all have to go."

"Then let's go," Lola muttered impatiently, growing sick of the Hollingsworth sibling bicker fest.

By the time Lola and the Hollingsworths arrived, everyone was already sitting down at the table eating. "Sorry we're late," Frankie said, taking a seat next to Zig.

Lola and Miles sat down next to Maya, Zoe, and Rasha. "Oh my gosh, the baby's gotten so big!" Maya cried, fawning over Hope.

"She looks just like you, Lola!" Rasha said.

"Good thing she got Lola's looks," Zoe teased. She hugged Miles. "It's good to see you."

"Yeah, you too," Miles smiled. He spotted Winston across the room. "Oh hey, _Chewy_!" he called. Winston had left for summer school in June, so they hadn't seen each other since graduation.

Winston and Miles gave each other a bro hug, high-fiving. "Damn, it's been forever," Winston said.

"Yeah, no kidding," Miles grinned. "Wanna meet my daughter?" He'd sent oomfchats of her, but Winston had never actually seen the baby in person. He took Hope from Lola and carried her over to Winston.

"Whoa," Winston said, staring at the baby. "I still can't believe you're really a dad."

"Me either, sometimes," Miles said, trying to keep Hope from squirming. He handed the baby back to Lola and took a seat next to Winston. "So uh, how's life? Uni treating you okay?"

"Yeah, not too bad," Winston grinned. "They've got some great bars in the city. Crazy story... this one night at a concert I met this girl who--"

Miles nodded politely, but couldn't bring himself to be too interested in Winston's stories. He felt like the odd one out with everyone exchanging university tales.

"So, what have you been up to?" Winston finally asked.

"Ahh, you know," Miles shrugged. "Taking care of the little one, mostly. I can bring her to work with me at the cantina, so that makes things easier."

"You're not doing any writing?" Rasha asked between mouthfuls of cranberry sauce. "I thought for sure you'd be a famous author. Your plays are so good!"

That made Miles smile a little. "Well, I... I might try to take some courses in the spring," he said, glancing at Lola. "Just depends on the baby, really."

"How's SoCal Art, Maya?" Lola asked.

"It's amazing, actually," Maya smiled. "They've got the coolest classes and professors, and of course it's great being right next to the beach." She took a sip of her drink and turned to Miles and Lola. "How's parenthood?"

"You know... tiring," Miles tried to laugh, tugging at his collar.

"But it's great," Lola added quickly. She cradled Hope back and forth as she sucked her thumb. "Hope's a really good baby."

Suddenly, Miles' face went pale as he spotted someone familiar walking his way. "Oh. Hey."

"H-hey, Tris," Miles stammered, his palms shaking. "How's it going?"

Tristan shrugged. "Still in rehab," he said. He was still wearing those special sensory glasses and his face looked very thin and pale. Miles hardly recognized him. "But with any luck, I'll be out in a few months." He glanced at Lola and Hope. "That the baby?"

"Yeah," Miles said awkwardly, holding Lola's hand. "Her name's Hope."

Tristan nodded. "Like the play."

"Yeah," Miles said quietly. Lola didn't say anything, feeling beyond awkward.

A boy with wavy brown hair came to Tristan's side. "Oh, this is my boyfriend, Oliver," Tristan said, putting his arm around him. "We met in rehab."

"The infamous Miles," Oliver said, smirking. "Nice to meet you." The two walked away and went to go say hi to other people.

"You okay?" Lola whispered to Miles.

"Yeah," Miles nodded. Tristan had to move on at some point, didn't he? He leaned into Lola, mostly just relieved Tristan hadn't said anything rude to her. He sighed. "Do you feel weird here too?"

"What do you mean?" Lola asked.

"Like... I just feel like I can't relate to anyone," Miles shrugged. "Everyone's doing these amazing things at uni and all I've done these past few months is change diapers."

"Yeah," Lola said quietly. "I get what you mean. I don't know... I guess I've just kind of gotten used to being different at this point."

"But does it bother you?" Miles asked. "I mean, you used to do cheer and volleyball and all kinds of stuff. And I always thought... I don't know, I thought I'd be off in some city halfway around the world by now."

"Life kinda got in the way," Lola sighed, looking down at the baby.

"I don't mean I'm unhappy, Lo," Miles added quickly. "I just-- maybe I could go back to school for a bit next semester? Hope's old enough for daycare, don't you think?"

Lola held the baby close. "I don't know," she murmured, apprehensive at the thought of leaving the baby with strangers. "She still seems so... tiny." But at the same time it didn't feel right that Miles was missing college to stay at home with her. Simpson had said he would make her an appointment with Ms. Grell to discuss options... maybe she could do an independent study a couple of times a week or something? It was all so complicated, being parents so young. "Let's think about it."

"Ahem!" Winston cleared his throat. He raised his glass. "I'd like to propose a toast. To Thanksgiving!"

" _To Thanksgiving_ ," Miles and Lola echoed. Just then, Hope spit out her pacifier and started to cry. Everyone turned around and stared, Tristan especially. She spit up on Lola's dress.

"And this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for baby wipes," Lola muttered, wiping the stain off her shoulder. She kissed the back of Hope's head. "And you, of course."


	77. Regrets

We'll get back to the Pacini drama soon, but in the meantime, here's a Frankie-centered chapter.

 **Regrets**

Lola walked down the hall at school the next week, her face buried in her geometry notes. Her hair was a mess, her blouse was buttoned wrong, and she had baby spit on her pants. It was funny-- a year ago, she wouldn't have been caught dead like this. But, well, priorities had changed.

Suddenly, Frankie popped out, grabbed her, and pulled her into the bathroom. "Hey!" Lola shouted, startled. "What are you doing? I have a quiz!"

"Oh, please," Frankie muttered, bolting the door behind her. "We both know you didn't even study."

Lola tried to brush that off, knowing it was true. "Shay, what's going on?" she said, noticing her leaned up against the wall.

"Beats me," Shay said. "Last time we were locked in here was when you took a pregnancy test last year."

"Yeah, flash-forward to now where I have a four-month old baby," Lola said, trying to wipe the baby gunk off her pants. "Please tell me it's not _another_ pregnancy scare."

"No," Frankie said. "At least, I don't think so. Look, I-- I got my period and the test came out negative, but I... still feel weird."

"Weird how?" Lola asked.

Frankie paced around the room. "I don't know," she said. "Crampy. I have to pee all the time. And well, it kind of hurts when Zig and I--"

"Okay, okay," Lola cut her off, not wanting her to finish that sentence.

Frankie sighed. "I just don't get it. If I'm not pregnant, then what?"

"Well those things can be wrong sometimes," Shay shrugged, like she would know.

"Yeah, but why would I have gotten my period still?" Frankie said.

"Well, there can be this thing called implantation bleeding..." Lola started, trailing off.

Frankie sighed loudly. "Regardless," she said, "I think I should see a doctor. And I was kind of hoping you guys would come with me."

"That sounds a little... personal," Shay said.

"Yeah, I mean we'll drive you, Franks," Lola said. "But do you really want us to come in with you?"

"I sat with you while you were in _labor_!" Frankie reminded Lola.

"Okay, point taken," Lola sighed. She had never really thanked Frankie for that. "So where to? And when?"

"At the clinic on the other side of town," Frankie said. "And I was kind of hoping... now?"

"Now?" Shay said. "We have a quiz."

"Can't we make it up?" Frankie said, clutching her stomach. "These cramps are so bad I feel like I'm gonna die. I can't wait, guys."

Lola looked to Shay, nodding. Whatever was going on, they needed to support their friend. "Let's go."

Shay drove the three of them to the clinic. She and Lola sat in the waiting room with Frankie.

"It could be an ectopic pregnancy," Lola said, googling the symptoms on her phone. "Bleeding... severe abdominal pain..."

"What is that?" Frankie asked nervously. She didn't like the sound of an _anything_ pregnancy.

"It's basically where it implants outside the uterus," Shay said, reciting her science jargon. "Good thing we brought you in-- it can be life-threatening."

"But that doesn't mean that's what this is," Lola added quickly, not wanting to freak Frankie out anymore. "I mean, it could be lots of things-- cysts, PMS, um..."

"Can you guys just let me breathe for a minute?" Frankie sighed, tired of all their suggestions. She wondered how Lola must have felt last year.

"Sorry, Franks," Lola said. "Um... do you want us to call Zig, though?"

"No," Frankie sighed. "Not until I know what's actually going on. The pregnancy scare freaked him out enough."

"Francesca Hollingsworth?" a nurse called. Frankie got up and walked towards her. She glanced back, motioning for Shay and Lola to follow.

The three of them waited impatiently as Frankie waited to get her test results back. "Thanks for coming with me," Frankie said, feeling that stabbing pain again. "You know... whatever it is."

"Of course," Lola said. "I mean, you guys were there for me last year." She laughed a little. "I never did thank you for putting up with all my crazy hormones. Or for sitting with me through labor."

"We're a team," Shay said, pulling them into a group hug. They leaned into each other and sighed, just thinking about how much they had been through together.

"Okay Francesca, I have your test results," the nurse said, coming in with her clipboard. Lola couldn't help but feel de-ja-vu.

"And...?" Frankie asked nervously, squeezing both Shay and Lola's hands at the same time.

"Well, the pregnancy test was negative," the nurse said. Frankie, Shay, and Lola all let out a loud sigh of relief. "But... I'm afraid you did test positive for chlamydia."

Frankie let go of Lola and Shay. " _What_?" she cried. She just sat there in shock. "No, that... that can't be right. I... I've only had sex with one guy."

"Well, did he have previous partners?" the nurse asked.

"Yes, but... Zig told me he had been tested," Frankie said, lips trembling. "He _promised_ me he was clean."

The nurse looked at her sympathetically. "Well, the good news is it's pretty treatable. Now, the first thing I'd like to do is prescribe some--"

Frankie just sat there crying as the nurse talked, Lola and Shay holding her tightly. How could she have been so _stupid_? Of _course_ Zig was lying, of _course_ there were other girls, of _course_ she should have insisted they use protection.

"Fuck," she cried under her breath. "My mom's going to _kill_ me."

Lola squeezed her hand. "It's going to be okay, Frankie," she said. "I swear." She tried to smile. "And you know, compared to me and Miles, you actually look pretty good. I mean, at least you don't have a baby."

Frankie just leaned into her and cried.


	78. House No Longer Feels Like Home

Would love to get some reviews on the most recent chapters. Thanks for reading xx

 **House No Longer Feels Like Home**

Lola walked into her house after school, carrying Hope on her shoulder. She was babbling away happily about something, like she was telling a story. "Eeee gabba baaaa!" she cried, reaching for Lola's face again.

"Calm down there, Princesa," Lola laughed, moving her tiny hand away. She set Hope on the floor with her baby gym. She took a deep breath, straightening her back out as she watched the baby play with her toys. Hope had gotten so heavy to carry.

Just then, Lola heard a loud whirring sound. "What's going on?" she shouted, following the noise to her room.

Her parents were standing by her bedroom with a drill bit and screwdriver. "What the--" Lola gasped. "Where did my _door_ go?"

"We got a phone call today from Principal Simpson," her mother said, arms crossed, "informing us that you ditched all of your morning classes."

"Oh, that," Lola sighed. "Look, I can explain-"

"No need," Mrs. Pacini said, her voice like ice. "Since I've been back, you've constantly disrespected me and and my rules. Sneaking boys in your room late at night... making a scene at dinner... skipping school..." She glanced at Lola's father and then back at her. "You've lost your right to privacy. From now on, your door stays off. You go to school and then straight home. Miles is not to come in unless he's dropping off or picking up the baby. Understand?"

Lola just stood there flabbergasted. She turned to her father, mouth wide open in shock, waiting for him to say something. " _Dad_!" she cried.

Mr. Pacini sighed. "The... Miles thing... we can maybe negotiate," he said, not looking at either of them. "But I agree with your mother that you should be grounded, after skipping class today."

"But I don't deserve a _door_?" Lola cried, still convinced this whole thing was ridiculous. "You can't be serious!"

Neither of her parents said anything.

"Fine," Lola said, tossing her hands up. She walked down the hall and picked up Hope. "I don't care anymore!" She ran towards the front door.

"Mija, where are you _going_?" Mrs. Pacini shouted.

" _Out_!" Lola yelled back, slamming the door behind her. She half expected one of them to come running after her. But of course they didn't. They were probably _thrilled_ to have the house to themselves.

Lola just walked down the street to the park, cradling Hope in her blanket. She watched the kids run around the playground, trying to imagine Hope playing there in a couple of years. A vision popped into her head of her and Miles chasing Hope around the play structure, pushing her down the slide, on the swings.

"Aww, look. Baby finally had her baby."

Lola turned and groaned as Esme joined her on the park bench. "What do _you_ want?"

"Nothing, actually," Esme shrugged. "For once." She sighed. "Have you seen Zig around? Wasn't he dating your little friend?"

"Let's not talk about that," Lola muttered.

Esme smiled at the baby. "She's cute, Lo," she said. "Looks just like you but with those Hollingsworth eyes."

Lola tried to smile. "Thanks, I guess," she said. "So what... what have you been up to? I thought you were going to Yale or Columbia or something."

"I got rejected," Esme said flatly. "It's whatever, though," she sighed. "Been in and out of the hospital. A lot of therapy. Trying to be a better me."

"Therapy?" Lola asked, startled by Esme's honesty.

Esme just laughed. "You're not the only one with Mommy issues, you know." She smiled at the baby again as Hope waved at her.

"Why are you being... well.." Lola said.

"Nice?" Esme laughed.

"I was going to say _civil_ ," Lola said. "But yeah, I suppose "nice" works."

Esme shrugged. "I dunno," she said. "I lost pretty much everybody last year. I mean, Zig was my only real friend. The rest of the people we hung with... they were _his_ friends. And they barely tolerated me."

Lola nodded quietly as Hope started to whimper. "Crap," she muttered, realizing she needed to nurse her. She pulled out a blanket and awkwardly slipped her shirt down, avoiding eye contact with Esme.

"Relax, I'm not a prude," Esme said, laughing at Lola's hesitancy. "Listen," she said. "I'm having a Halloween thing next week. If you get a night off from baby duty, you should come. My house. You can even bring your baby daddy." She winked.

"Uh-- thanks," Lola said as Esme got up. "I'll um, I'll think about it." She tried to smile.

"I just realized something," Esme smirked, starting to walk away. "You're dating Little Boy Blue. _And_ you have blue hair." She turned back. "Adorable."


	79. Papa Don't Preach

Waking up to a bunch of reviews again was really awesome, thank you!! Just wanted to make sure people were still into it. Definitely some MAJOR stuff coming up. In this chapter though, I thought I'd explore Lola's relationship with her dad a little more... xx

 **Papa Don't Preach**

Lola snuck back into the house that evening just as the sun set. As much as Lola wanted to stay far away, Hope was starting to get really fussy-- and besides, she couldn't exactly avoid home forever. Though she was beginning to wish she could.

When she opened the front door, her dad was sitting in the living room in his chair, reading the paper and waiting for her. "Mija," he said, his voice tense. "Sit."

Lola sighed and plopped down on the couch, the baby sleeping quietly in her arms. "Where's Mom?" Lola whispered, trying not to wake Hope.

"She went for a walk," Mr. Pacini said. He set the newspaper down and just looked at his daughter for a moment, sighing deeply as he glanced back and forth between Lola and the baby. "Well," he said quietly, "things obviously aren't running very smoothly around here."

"Yeah," Lola muttered. "No kidding."

"I know this year has been... a lot," Mr. Pacini said. "Between the baby and your mother... it's been difficult for you, I know." He sighed. "But it still doesn't mean you can go around disrespecting us like this. The arguing... the sneaking around... the lying... I won't tolerate that behavior in this house."

Lola tried to stop herself from laughing. "Right," she said. "Because I'm _obviously_ the _only_ one sneaking around and lying in this house."

Her dad stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

Lola just shook her head. "I know you and mom are back together," she said, the words finally just rolling off her tongue. She felt her face start to boil, getting angrier with every syllable she spoke.

"Lola... we were going to tell you," Mr. Pacini said, looking startled. "It's not even... nothing's official or... or permanent. We're just-- we're just trying to work things out."

"Whatever," Lola mumbled, rocking Hope back and forth. "You clearly don't care if it hurts me, so--"

"What?" Mr. Pacini said. "Mija, of _course_ I care."

"No," Lola protested, suddenly tearing up. "No, you _don't_. If you cared, you would have told Mom to go away, you would have asked me what _I_ wanted--" She started blubbering just as Hope woke up and started fussing. Great. Now _everyone_ was upset.

"Lola, I'm trying my best here!" Mr. Pacini insisted, clutching his forehead. "But honestly... you haven't exactly been the easiest to parent either. I _tried_ to raise you right. I put you in the right schools, I taught you how to work the restaurant, I paid for your volleyball lessons--" He paused and took a deep breath, growing more and more upset as Hope kept crying. "-- I did everything I could for you, I tried to give you the best life possible, all of the opportunities _I_ never had... and _still_ , you come home pregnant at sixteen."

Lola felt like her father had just slapped her. They never fought like this, he never yelled at her. "Well," Lola sniffled, tears streaming down her face. "Thanks for telling me what you really think of me." She took Hope into her room, put her in the basinnet, and then sank into her mattress and cried.

She just stared at the sleeping baby for a second, her thoughts wandering. She loved Hope more than anything, but for the first time she felt... resentment. Not at the baby exactly, but at herself. For getting knocked up at sixteen, for ruining her chance at university... for screwing up Miles' life, her dad's life, Frankie's life, Tristan's life, her _own_ life.

Her mind wandered back to just under a year ago when she finally told her dad she was pregnant:

 _Lola was sitting on the living room couch watching her dad decorate the Christmas tree when she realized she needed to do it, to just tell her dad the truth already. Her morning sickness had settled down, but she was starting to show. She'd tried to pass it off as too many Christmas cookies, but she knew she couldn't keep up the act much longer._

 _"Look at this one, Mija," her dad smiled, holding up a little red ornament with Lola's baby picture framed in it. "That was from your very first Christmas."_

 _Lola stared at the picture of the baby and suddenly felt a sense of panic. She had to come clean sooner or later. "Dad," she gulped, pushing a sleeping Fernando off her lap. "I... I need to tell you something."_

 _Her dad set the ornament down. "Is everything alright?" he asked._

 _Lola started to cry. "No," she said, barely getting the words out. "No Dad, it's... it's serious."_

 _Mr. Pacini joined her on the couch, looking worried. "Is it about your grades?" he asked. "It's that Armstrong, isn't it? I told you we'd hire you a tutor--"_

 _"Dad," Lola interrupted, not looking at him. "I'm pregnant."_

 _Mr. Pacini didn't say anything. He just sat there staring into space, dead silent._

 _"Dad?" Lola said, still crying. "Dad,_ please _say something."_

 _Mr. Pacini draped his hand over his forehead, looking like he was going to be sick. "I... I don't know_ what _to say to you," he said. "How... how could this have happened?"_

 _"I'm sorry," Lola cried, sobbing now. "I'm_ so _sorry."_

 _"When?_ Who _?" Mr. Pacini said, still not looking at her._

 _"M--Miles," Lola stammered. "You know... Frankie's older brother." She tried to catch her breath for a second. "But Dad, we have a plan. We're going to keep it and raise it... he's got money, his parents will help... I- --I've already been to the doctor and the baby is healthy and everything--"_

 _Mr. Pacini finally looked at her. "The_ baby _," he repeated under his breath, like it was some foreign word. "God Mija, you're too young for this, far too young..." He paused. "How far along are you?"_

 _"Um," Lola stammered. She stared down at her stomach and moved her hand over it. "Almost... almost four months."_

 _Mr. Pacini stared at her stomach, just looking completely shocked. "This... this just can't be happening," he muttered, more to himself. "Ay dios mio..."_

 _"Dad," Lola said again, sobbing harder now. "I'm_ sorry."

 _Her dad got up, not making eye contact. "I need to go for a walk," he said, grabbing his coat. "I'll be back." He slammed the door behind him._

Lola snapped back into the present, still staring over Hope's bassinet. She ran her fingers through the mobile and put a blanket on top of the baby to tuck her in, still crying a little.


	80. Karma

Happy holidays everyone! Glad the last few chapters were well received. I'm honestly just going to keep writing this fic forever haha. I kinda feel like this chapter is weaker than the previous ones but eh I think the next one will be stronger with Lola's storyline xx

 **Karma**

Miles sat in the nursery one afternoon reading to Hope. "The cow says _moo_ ," he said, pointing to the picture. "Can you say "moo?""

"Gahh!" Hope squealed, whacking the picture with her hand.

"The pig says _oink_ ," Miles continued, flipping the page. "Can you say "oink?""

"Eeee!" Hope said happily, whacking Miles' face now.

Miles chuckled, moving her little hand away. "No, no," he scolded her. "Don't hit Daddy." He set the book aside and just rocked the baby back and forth for a minute.

 _"Francesca Kate Hollingsworth!"_

Miles sat up, hearing his mom and Frankie yelling downstairs. He stood up and walked over to the stairs, clinging to the wall to listen in. " _Shh_ ," he whispered to Hope.

"Mom, I'm sorry," Frankie cried. "I don't know how it happened."

"Why does _nobody_ in this house seem to understand the consequences of sex?" their mother said. "Between Miles getting Lola pregnant and _this_..."

 _What's "this?"_ Miles wondered nervously. Oh god, Zig had _better_ not have knocked Frankie up for real this time.

"I mean really, Francesca!" Mrs. H continued. " _Chlamydia_?"

Miles was so shocked he nearly dropped Hope. _What the_ fuck. He wanted to _kill_ Zig.

He glanced down at the sleeping baby in his arms and groaned quietly-- was _this_ what he had to look forward to with a daughter? Back before they knew whether they were having a boy or a girl, he'd joked that their kid could start dating "at fourteen if it's a boy, never if it's a girl." Lola had gotten so pissed at him that she ignored him for nearly two days straight and then made him listen to a lecture from Yael on the harmful effects of the patriarchy.

"Well, at least I don't have a _baby_!" Frankie pointed out. Miles scowled a little. But, well, Frankie wasn't exactly wrong, he admitted as he looked down at his daughter.

Just then, Hope woke up and started to cry. "Shhh, shhh!" Miles tried, but she still wailed.

Frankie glanced over at the stairs, finally noticing Miles and Hope. "Case in point," she muttered. Her face turned crimson red, a mix of embarrassment and anger. "Have you been eavesdropping on me and Mom?"

"No, Frankenstein," Miles said over the screaming baby. "But keep it down, will ya? I'm trying to get her to sleep."

"Whatever," Frankie shrugged. "By the way, you're doing that weird lip biting thing you always do when you lie."

Mrs. H sighed, tired of all the bickering and screaming. "Come to Grandma," she said to Hope, putting her arms out. Even though she wasn't thrilled about the circumstances and hadn't exactly been the warmest to Lola during the pregnancy, she still loved her granddaughter. A couple of times, Miles had caught her cooing and singing _The Itsy Bitsy Spider_ to Hope when she thought no one was around.

"Hey, can you watch the baby for an hour or so?" Miles asked his mom. "I need to run to the store to get more diapers."

"I suppose," Mrs. H sighed. She couldn't help but smile at the baby, though. Hope was just too damn adorable, even if she was kind of a handful. Mrs. H turned to Frankie. "And don't think we're done talking about this, young lady."

"Well thanks, Mom," Miles shrugged, grabbing his coat. He gave Hope a kiss on the top of her head and Frankie a pat on the back as if to say _good luck_. He would talk to her later. He felt a little guilty for stepping out of the house and leaving his sister like this, knowing first-hand what it was like to get the "disappointment child" lecture.

He drove to the nearest supermarket and headed straight to the baby aisle. The first few times Lola had sent him out to buy diapers and baby supplies on his own, he'd felt super self-conscious. He was starting to get the hang of it now, but he still got mixed up sometimes. He stared at three different brands of baby wipes and then finally called Lola to ask what kind.

"Miles?" Lola answered groggily. Crap-- he'd probably woken her up from a nap. "Is the baby okay?"

"Oh, uh-- Hope's fine," Miles said, still staring at the wipes. "I was just trying to remember what brand of baby wipes to buy."

"The extra sensitive kind," Lola said. "The regular ones give her a rash."

"Ah, right," Miles said, grabbing a box. "And the diapers...?"

"Huggies, extra gentle," Lola said, yawning. For a girl who couldn't remember math facts to save her life, she knew these baby things like the back of her hand.

Miles grabbed several things of diapers and wipes and checked out. While he was walking through the parking lot, he spotted a familiar vehicle parked near his car.

Zig was leaning against his car hood, sucking face with some blonde chick. Miles nearly dropped the bag of groceries.

"Ahem," Miles cleared his throat. "Wow. I already knew you were a jackass but... you've really outdone yourself this time."

Zig turned around. "What do you want, Moneybags?" The nickname didn't really apply to Miles anymore, he realized.

"Nothing," Miles said. He chuckled under his breath. "Once a cheater, always a cheater, eh?"

"Gimme a minute," Zig mumbled to the girl, who went and waited for him inside the car. Zig rolled his eyes at Miles. "Look," he said. "Frankie and I were never exclusive, alright?" He looked Miles in the eye. "And anyway, you're not really one to talk. Considering you got a girl pregnant while you still had a boyfriend and all."

Miles just shook his head. "Whatever," he muttered. He started to walk away, but then turned back. "Hey Zig?" he said. "Just one more thing."

"What?" Zig scoffed.

Miles swung and punched him in the face-- not hard enough to knock him over or anything, but enough to give him a nasty bruise at least. He ran into his car and took off before Zig had the chance to swing back. No one messed with the Hollingsworth siblings.


	81. Breaking Point

So reactions to the last chapter were mixed, which is kinda what I expected. Noted about Hope's sleeping schedule-- didn't really notice that before! In regards to Miles swinging at Zig, I felt like it was IC since he was defending his sibling. I'm aware Frankie is being kinda annoying right now, but it's just her way of dealing with everything. Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter... merry Christmas! xx

 **Breaking Point**

Lola, Shay, and Frankie sat in the cafeteria the morning of Halloween, each of them sulking. Shay was missing Tiny and Frankie was moping over her breakup. After Miles told her about the girl in the parking lot, she marched over to Zig's and yelled that she never wanted to see him and his stupid hair gel ever again.

"I feel so humiliated," Frankie moaned melodramatically, poking at her breakfast. "I'm gonna be a social pariah forever."

"Join the club," Lola muttered half-jokingly. She wasn't in a good mood either-- she and her dad were barely speaking and her mom was being a pain as usual. This morning, her mother had not only criticized Lola's outfit but Hope's too.

"We need to do something to take our mind off things," Shay said. "What are you guys doing for Halloween?"

"Just watching the baby, really," Lola said. "Miles and I were thinking about taking her trick or treating, but I don't think she's really old enough yet." She smiled a little, daydreaming about next year when Hope would be walking and they could dress her up in a little costume and teach her to say "trick or treat!" She paused, taking a sip of her juice. " _Oh_. You'll never guess who I ran into at the park last week."

"Who?" Shay asked.

" _Esme_ ," Lola said. "It was weird. She was actually kind of... nice. She even invited me to a Halloween party."

Frankie snorted. "I doubt that's really your scene, Lo," she said. "Her parties get pretty wild. Believe me, I would know."

Lola frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Frankie said, freshening her lip gloss. "Just wouldn't want you to get in over your head, that's all."

"Her parties sound lame anyway," Shay shrugged.

"Whatever," Lola said, still a bit annoyed at Frankie's remark. "It's not like I was even planning on going." She opened her oomfchat and saw a picture from Miles of Hope with a pumpkin filter, which made her smile a little.

After school and vlogging, Lola walked in to the house and heard all kinds of screaming and yelling. Miles had agreed to watch Hope tonight so Lola could finish her homework-- she was behind in Perino's class as usual-- but there was no way she could possibly get any studying done with this type of noise. Lola leaned against the wall to eavesdrop on her parents' conversation, trying not to be seen.

"We need to do something before things get any worse!" her mother shouted. "She's completely out of control. She already has a baby... what's next? Drugs? School troubles? _Another_ baby?"

"Victoria, I'm handling it!" her dad yelled back. He sounded tired, frazzled even. "I just... I just don't know what to do," he said, his voice quieter now. "It's never been this way with her before. I... I never thought..."

"You should have come to me when you first found out she was pregnant," Mrs. Pacini continued. "I could've taken her to live with me, I could have gotten her away from that.. that _boy_ and all those influences..." They were both quiet for a minute, then she added, "We need to get her away."

"What do you mean?" Mr. Pacini said.

"I mean we need to leave," Mrs. Pacini said. "I think we should... we should move. Just pack up and go. She needs a new environment."

Lola tried not to scream, still hidden behind the wall. No, no, _no._ They couldn't do this to her, just make her leave, against her will, everything she knew and loved. She couldn't leave Degrassi, Miles, Frankie, Shay, Yael, her vlogging team... _no. No way!_

"Victoria, I have my business," Mr. Pacini said. "We can't just leave..."

"I won't let this continue," Mrs. Pacini snapped. "We need to _do_ something."

Lola couldn't take it anymore. She ran out the door and sprinted away as fast and far away as possible, tears streaming down her face. She didn't know where she was going exactly, but she just knew she needed to get far, far away from that house and her mom.

She stopped to catch her breath. Man, she really needed to start working out again. All that baby weight made it really hard for her to run like she used to.

Just then, her phone went off. She opened it and saw a text from... Esme. _You coming tonight?_

Lola just stood there for a second, then slowly began to smile. Screw her mom, screw everything and everyone. For the first time in forever, she was going to just let herself loosen up and have fun. _Yup_ , she typed back. _I'll be there soon._

When Lola got to the party, she was surprised to see so many people there already. Not to be rude, but she didn't really think Esme had this many friends. Or well, _any_ friends, really. She recognized some people from last year's graduating class as well as a few seniors and juniors. A few stared at Lola, probably just remembering her as "that one pregnant girl" from last year.

"You made it, Mama!" Esme said, smiling mischievously. She grabbed a solo cup and filled it with beer from the keg. "Well, come on," she said, handing the cup to Lola. "Don't be shy."

Lola looked at the beer hesitantly. She hadn't drank since... well, since the night Hope was conceived. Oh, what the hell. She chugged it down in just a few guzzles, trying not to gag. _Take that, Frankie_ \-- _whose scene was it now?_

Esme smirked. "I knew you could drink," she said. "Come with me. I want to introduce you to some people."

Esme took Lola by the arm and dragged her around the house, introducing her to a bunch of people, a lot of whom she already knew from school. "So," Esme said, taking a seat in the kitchen, "where's the baby tonight?" She handed Lola another cup, this time a mix of club soda and vodka.

"She's uh... with Miles," Lola said, taking a sip of her drink. A twinge of guilt hit her as the vodka burned her throat. She'd told Miles she was doing homework-- what kind of parent was she, neglecting her kid like this? She took another gulp of vodka, chugging faster this time.

Her phone went off. She glanced at a text from Frankie. _Lo, I'm sorry for what I said this morning. Call me when you can. Xoxo_

"Who wants to play truth or dare?" Esme called to everyone, turning the music down a little.

Lola couldn't help but laugh a little. Esme was, what-- 18, 19? and she still thought truth or dare was fun. But well, it was better than nothing.

They all sat in a circle, Lola sitting next to Esme on the couch. Lola didn't feel so great. The alcohol was starting to catch up to her-- she'd never had more than a drink or two. She should have known she would be a lightweight, considering her tiny height and all.

"Mama over here," Esme said, turning to Lola. "Truth or dare?"

"Um.. truth," Lola shrugged. She felt her phone buzz again. Two missed texts from Miles, just checking in on her. They didn't say anything was wrong with Hope or anything, so Lola just ignored them for now.

Esme sipped her drink. "Where did you and Little Boy Blue make that baby?"

Lola turned red. What had she expected? "Uh, his bed," she said quietly, not making eye contact with anyone. "At that one party at the Hollingsworths' last year... you know, the one where I went into the closet with Tiny." She awkwardly took another sip of vodka as the people around her exchanged glances and giggles.

"I _knew_ it," Esme squealed. "No points for originality, though. His bed? That's a bit... vanilla." She sighed. "Go on then, Lo. Ask me truth or dare."

"Okay," Lola said. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Esme said, batting her eyelashes.

"Um," Lola tried to think of something cool to say, something that wouldn't get her laughed at. "Who's the best sex you've ever had?"

"Truthfully?" Esme said, biting her lip. "Probably your baby daddy."

Lola nearly spit out her drink. " _What_?"

"Don't go getting upset," Esme said. "It was _way_ before you two were even a thing. You were mad for Tiny back then."

Lola tried to get the image of Miles and Esme out of her head. She'd _totally_ forgot they'd dated-- _ugh_.

"How about a shot?" Esme asked, trying to clear the air. She handed her a shot glass and raised hers to Lola's.

Lola already felt more than buzzed, but she desperately wanted to get her mind off of things. "Yeah," Lola said, clinking her glass against Esme's. "Why not." She downed the shot and gagged at the burning aftertaste.

Esme couldn't help but laugh. "I would have thought Frankie would have shown you how to take those properly."

Lola shrugged. "Not like I had the chance to drink last year."

Esme smiled. "I kinda give you props for that, you know," she said. "Walking around Degrassi pregnant sounds like hell."

"Yeah," Lola said, sinking further into the couch. "It kinda was." Her phone went off again-- another text from Miles. _You okay?_ Lola ignored it.

Esme raised her eyebrows, noticing Lola's frown. "Up for another shot?"

"Might as well," Lola said. She downed another one, trying to wash away all her problems.

The shots began to hit Lola like a train. She felt her body get woozy; the room was spinny and she could hardly stand up straight. She started ranting away to Esme, suddenly having no filter. "You would not _believe_ how awful my mother is," she said drunkendly to Esme, leaning into her. "She yells at me all the time, she criticizes everything I do... and she took my door away!"

"She took your _door_ away?" Esme said.

"Yes!" Lola shouted, swiping a sip of Esme's drink now. She wondered why she had never really drank before this.

"Screw her," Esme said, taking her drink back. "She sounds like a pain in the ass."

"I _hate_ her," Lola said. "She's a bitch." She glanced around. "Do you have more alcohol?"

"Take it easy, little Mama," Esme said, suddenly noticing just how wasted Lola was.

"But I don't _want_ to!" Lola pouted, crossing her arms.

"Hey, this guy's looking for you," someone said, tapping Lola on the shoulder.

Lola glanced across the room and went scarlett red as she saw Miles coming towards her.

"What are you _doing_ here?" she cried.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Miles said, scooting next to her on the couch. "You weren't answering my texts, so I got worried and Frankie said I'd probably find you here..." He paused, putting his arm around her. "Are you drunk?"

"No!" Lola said, pushing him off of her. She scoffed. "Of course I'm not _drunk_."

Miles just shook his head. "You got her wasted?" he said to Esme.

Esme shrugged somewhat apologetically. "Didn't realize she was a lightweight."

Miles just sighed. "Come on," he said, trying to pull Lola off the couch. "Let's get you home. My mom's got the baby, so you don't have to worry about that, but--"

Lola refused to get up. "I don't want to go home!" she shouted, not realizing how loud she was. People turned around and stared.

Miles groaned. "Lo, come on," he said, losing his patience. "Let's go."

" _No_!" Lola snapped. She got off the couch and pushed him aside. "You can't make me do anything!" She ran through the crowd and sprinted out the front door.

" _Lola_!" Miles shouted, chasing after her.

"I'm not going home!" Lola yelled back. She started crying suddenly. "I'm not, I'm _not,_ you can't make me!"

Miles grabbed her hand and pulled her into a hug. He'd never seen her like this. "Lo," he said gently. "Lo, it's-- it's okay."

Lola sobbed into his shoulder. "I can't live there, Miles," she cried. "I can't deal with my mom anymore!" A sudden sick feeling came over her. _Oh no._ She leaned down and vomitted all over Miles' shoes. "Oh god," she said, mortified. "I'm so sorry."

Miles took a deep breath, trying not to feel the vomit oozing all over his sneakers. "It's okay," he said, sighing. "Look, let's just-- come with me. Let's figure this out."

They went into his car, where Lola leaned into his shoulder and sobbed some more, frantically apologizing for ruining his shoes.

"Lo, I don't care about the shoes," Miles said, rubbing her back. "I care about _you_."

Lola just kept crying. "I just don't know what to do," she sobbed. "My parents want to move. My mom thinks I... I need to get away from you."

"What?" Miles said, his face turning hot. "No. No _way._ Not on my watch." He pulled her closer. "Lola, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Or Hope." He paused, looking down at the girl crying in his arms. She looked so small, so scared, so... broken. "Lo," he whispered, "how about you and Hope move in with me?"

Lola looked up. "Really?" she gasped, wiping her eyes.

"Yeah," Miles nodded. He gave her a small smile. "Families have got to stick together, right?"


	82. New Normal

Glad the last chapter got a lot of reactions! I agree it was definitely time for a change of scenery-- I hope I didn't drag the Pacini drama out too long. Looking forward to this new era in the story xx

 **New Normal**

When Lola opened her eyes the next morning in the Hollingsworth house, she felt as though she was waking up in some new, faraway place she'd never been to. It was strange-- she'd woken up there plenty of times, almost as many times as she'd woken up in her own house even... on Frankie's floor, in Miles' bed, on the living room couch... yet the walls still felt completely unfamiliar.

"Morning," Miles whispered, handing her a steaming mug of something. She was lying in Miles' bed, the sheets torn from it like she had done a kickboxing match in her sleep.

"Where's the baby?" Lola said instinctively.

Miles climbed into the bed with her. "She's in her crib," he said. He nodded at the mug. "Drink that. Miracle hangover cure. At least, it used to work for me."

Lola slowly took a sip, wanting to spit it out almost immediately. It tasted like cat hair. "As long as you're not going all _Heathers_ on me," she said, trying to laugh. "Though I wouldn't exactly blame you. I was probably awful to you last night." She leaned into his chest, giving him those sad puppy dog eyes she always had when she felt guilty about something.

"It's okay," Miles shrugged. "I forgive you-- even if my shoes don't."

Lola winced. "I barfed on your shoes?"

"Trust me, I've done worse. Like when I drunkendly sent you those junk pics junior year. Tiny almost beat my ass for that."

"Oh god," Lola said, blushing. "I'd totally forgotten about that." She didn't tell Miles this, but that was the first time she had ever even seen... _that_.

"Anyways," Miles said, his face turning serious again. "I've already talked to Mom and she said you can stay with us for however long you want. I think she sort of feels bad for all the crap she put me through with the trial and all. And she likes having the baby close."

Lola set the mug down and leaned into Miles, just hugging him for a minute. "Thank you," she murmured, nearly tearing up. "Thank you so much, Miles."

Miles kissed the top of her forehead. "Nothing's more important to me than you and Hope, Lo."

Lola moved out later that afternoon. She snuck into her house when she knew her dad was at work and her mom's car was safely gone. She packed her most essential things and then wrote a long letter to her dad explaining why she was leaving. She cried hysterically writing it. She felt almost like her own mother, abandoning her father like this. It wasn't forever, Lola explained. Just until things got better, until her mom left or until they could come to some sort of truce. She told them where she would be staying, but didn't leave an address. She wasn't sure if they would come looking for her or not and she wasn't sure whether or not she wanted them to.

Miles was going to quit his job at the cantina to avoid the awkwardness with Lola's father. They had enough money to get by for now. He would stay at home with Hope during the day while Lola was at school, maybe try some uni classes part time if his mom agreed to watch the baby a couple of mornings a week. Lola was also going to talk to Ms. Grell about getting into an independent study so she could maybe skip first and second period to be at home with the baby.

It kind of broke Lola's heart to think about her dad coming home and finding that goodbye letter waiting for him on the kitchen table. But, she realized, she had gotten used to disappointing him over this past year. When she was pregnant with Hope, they barely spoke. Sometimes late at night in her third trimester when her dad thought she was asleep, Lola would catch him standing outside her bedroom door just watching her and sighing.

She remembered sitting next to him one night watching television silently together when Hope began kicking her ribs so hard that she actually cried a little from the pain

 _"What's wrong?" her dad asked. "Is it... is it the baby?"_

 _"Yeah," Lola winced, clutching her round belly. She was around seven months then and her stomach was rapidly expanding, something her dad was pretending not to notice. "It's okay, it's_ _just... it hurts me sometimes."_

 _Lola's dad nodded. "Come here," he said quietly. He held her in his lap for a minute and rubbed her back, something he hadn't done since she was about eleven. For just a minute it was like she wasn't a disappointment, like she was still his little girl._

When Lola returned to the Hollingsworth house that evening with all of her belongings, Mrs. Hollingsworth already had dinner on the table hot and ready.

"Hope you're hungry," Mrs. H said, passing Lola some food. "I made salad, mac and cheese, and roasted chicken. There should be some leftover chocolate cake in the fridge for dessert if the boys haven't devoured it already."

Lola sat down in between Frankie and Miles, supposing this was her spot at the table now. "I love mac and cheese." She tried to smile. "Um, thanks for--"

"Hunter! For godssakes, get down here! I'm not going to call you again!" Mrs. H yelled up the stairs. She turned back to Lola. "Sorry. You were saying?"

"Oh, um, just thanks for letting me stay," Lola said quietly. "And Hope. I hope we're not a burden."

"It's really not a problem," Mrs. H said. "I kind of expected this to happen after Hope was born anyway."

"Well, I'm _certainly_ glad you're moving in," Frankie grinned. "We need some more female energy to balance out all the testosterone in this house. Besides, I've always wanted a sister."

"Isn't that kind of... incesty?" Lola giggled. She did like to think of her and Frankie as sisters, though. And they really were, in a way.

Hunter finally came downstairs and joined them at the table. "Sheesh, sorry," he said in response to his mom's _what took you so damn long_ look. "I was in the shower."

Miles chuckled. "Nothing beats a classic 40-minute shower, huh?" he winked. "We really need to get you a girlfriend."

" _Ahem_ ," Mrs. H cut the boys off, not wanting to hear anymore. "Now that Lola's living here, we need to establish some... ground rules." She took a deep breath, as if expecting everyone to immediately start whining. "Lola, you can sleep in the nursery or bunk with Frankie. Miles, Lola is not to be in your bedroom unless it's because of Hope. And when the two of you are alone together, I want the door open."

Miles put his fork down, scowling a little. There had never been any rules about girls in his room before.

" _Ha ha_ ," Frankie sneered at him. Lola shot her a look.

"Also," Mrs. H continued, ignoring Frankie. "Midnight curfew for everyone. I expect the three of you to go to school every day and do all your homework--" she said, looking to Lola, Frankie, and Hunter. "--and everyone needs to help out with chores. No parties. No drinking. No drugs."

"Yeah, of course," Lola said quickly. "Of course, Mrs. Hollingsworth. I'm just... I'm really grateful."

Just then, the baby monitor went off. "I'll get it," Lola sighed. She brought the screaming baby downstairs and rocked her back and forth, trying her lullabies over the kitchen table.

Hope spit up all over Lola, some landing on the table. She was still screaming and the air suddenly smelled rotten. "Whoops," Lola said, checking her diaper. "Someone needs a change."

Hunter groaned. "Guess this is our new normal."


	83. Sir Excellence

Since Frankie's chapter was well-received awhile back, I thought it would be fun to try writing from Hunter's POV. I know he hasn't been as big a part of the story as Frankie and I'm honestly not the biggest fan of him on the show, but I thought his perspective would be interesting to include now that Lola is living with them xx

 **Sir Excellence**

Hunter banged on the bathroom door for about the tenth time, quickly losing his patience. Lola had been hogging the bathroom for ages. " _Lola_!" he shouted. "You're going to make me late for school!"

"I'm just finishing my makeup!" Lola hollered back.

Hunter groaned loudly. Lola had only been living with the Hollingsworths for a week and she was already driving him crazy. Every morning before school, she took at least an hour in the bathroom getting ready and then left all her makeup scattered across the counter. Hunter was pretty sure his cologne was beginning to smell like Lola's candy apple body spray.

Just then, Hope started to cry. For once, Hunter was happy to hear that noise-- the baby was the only thing that could lure Lola out of the bathroom.

"Oh! Could you get her?" Lola asked. "I'm almost done with my brows, I just need another minute--"

"Fine," Hunter grumbled. He went into the nursery and lifted the screaming baby out of her crib. "Hey, Hope," he said, trying to cradle her. "Um-- it's okay. Can you... can you stop crying?" He sounded incredibly lame, he knew. He had never really been good with kids and he never wanted any of his own. He just wasn't that type-- he could never see himself changing diapers and wiping noses or sitting through little league games and dance recitals. For some reason though, Hope seemed to like him. She always cried less when he held her than if Frankie did and she smiled whenever he came into the room.

Hope slowly stopped whimpering. "That's it," Hunter said gently. "That's a good girl." He cringed at his own dialogue-- what was she, a _dog_?

Suddenly, Hunter smelled something awful. "Oh crap," he muttered, trying to hold his breath. " _Lola..!"_

"Sorry, sorry!" Lola said, rushing over and grabbing the baby. She put Hope on the changing table, humming loudly as she changed her diaper.

"Where's Miles at, anyway?" Hunter asked.

"Oh, he's um, doing his interview at TU this morning," Lola said. "For their English program next semester maybe." She lifted Hope off the table, snuggling her against her chest. "Hope's probably old enough for daycare a few mornings a week and we've got some savings now, so--"

Hunter nodded politely, but all he could really focus on was that neon tank top Lola was wearing. It was so low-cut that her cleavage practically slid right out.

Living with Lola was proving to be uncomfortable in more ways than one, Hunter was quickly learning. For one thing, he had seen her nearly naked way too many times. Lola would just sit at the dining room table nursing the baby while everyone around her ate breakfast, sometimes not bothering to cover up with a blanket all the way. She would also walk around the hallway dripping wet in her towel after showering, muttering how she could never remember to hang her robe up.

And then there was the issue of Miles and Lola's sex life. Hunter had heard them going at it pretty much every single day since Lola moved in. Their mom had her rules, sure, but that didn't stop them from screwing every time she stepped out of the house. They thought they were being subtle enough about it by playing music to cover it and doing it during odd hours of the day, but their moans and weird noises almost always made their way through Hunter's bedroom walls. He never realized how paper thin the walls were before.

"You are _so_ lucky to be living with Lola," Baaz had said to Hunter at lunch last week. "She's hot as fuck."

"Stop," Hunter groaned, visibly uncomfortable. "She and I are like, practically related now... by the way, you have mustard on your shirt."

Baaz looked down at his collar and frowned. "Whatever," he said, wiping his dress shirt with a napkin. "Hey, you think I could come over for dinner? Or breakfast? Or sleep over?" He still had a stupid grin on his face.

Hunter rolled his eyes. "Forget it, dude. She's with Miles. They're like, basically married at this point."

Baaz and Vijay had teased Hunter relentlessly last year when the news of Lola's pregnancy first broke. "Your brother beat you to it, eh?" Baaz had laughed.

"Guess that boner wasn't enough to impress her," Vijay added.

It had been embarrassing having her on the vlogging team after that, having to endure all the jokes and teasing. It was like a constant reminder that his older brother would forever be more of a man than him.

Lola would always waddle in late to the All Inclusive meetings last year and plop her feet up on the table, complaining about her heartburn or moaning about how fat she felt. Sometimes she would interrupt Hunter's presentations with random discoveries from her cell phone: _oh my god! Did you know some babies are born with_ teeth? Or _crap! I forgot to take my prenatal vitamins!_

Hunter had gotten so fed up with everything that he snapped and fired her, which Miles of course kicked his ass for. Hunter didn't really blame him, honestly-- he knew he had been jackass to Lola. But he just found her so... _frustrating._ Her ditziness annoyed the crap out of him, but he still got those stupid butterflies in his stomach whenever she got close to him.

Now, Hunter stood up and handed Lola her backpack. "Um, so do you... want a ride to school?" he asked awkwardly.

Lola smiled. "I have to finish setting the baby up with your mom," she said, bouncing Hope on her shoulder. "But after I'm done, that would be great."

Hunter smiled back, gritting his teeth a little but still trying to be genuine. Whatever he and Lola were-- friends, acquaintances, roommates, in-laws-- they had to make it work.


	84. My Everything

Next chapter will have more twins (and drama), but for now here's some Mola. And ha yeah, the Hollingsworths probably do have multiple bathrooms for the kids-- maybe one of them was broken or something? Oops. This chapter is a bit racier than usual btw xx

 **My Everything**

Lola sat at the edge of Miles' bed, sighing happily as she slipped back into her jeans. "Well," she said, "as always, that was great."

"I could say the same," Miles grinned, still in his boxers as he leaned back into his pillow. He kept his eyes glued to Lola as she got dressed, smiling at the way she fidgeted with her blue curls when she blushed. And those dimples. God, he loved those dimples.

"Um," Lola said, giggling, "have you seen--?"

Miles smiled and tossed her her bra. Pink with lace. "Thanks," she said, still blushing. She stared at him. "What?"

"Nothing," Miles said, shaking his head. "Just... you're so cute."

Lola climbed over to Miles and leaned into his bare chest, sighing dreamily as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

"You know, it's kinda funny," Miles mused. "To think that this is where it all started."

Lola laughed under her breath. "Right," she muttered. "This is where you knocked me up."

"No, I... okay, yeah. But I just meant-- this is kinda where _we_ started, in this bed," Miles said, rubbing Lola's back. "You know, it's where we wrote the play together, where we kissed the first time, where we--"

"Made Hope?" Lola laughed. She kissed his cheek. "Yeah," she said. "Pretty crazy to think how far we've come." She was quiet for a minute, then added, "Actually, I think our story started way before that. Do you remember what happened the first time we met?" She smiled. "Summer before grade nine for me, just before grade ten for you. When I first came over to your place with Frankie."

Miles tried to think back. "Remind me?"

Lola sat up. "So," she said, smiling like a little kid. "I had just met Frankie at grade nine orientation and she invited me over to swim. I didn't know she had an older brother. So when I walked outside in my bikini and saw you standing by the pool shirtless, six pack and all, I literally like, _shrieked._ You looked at me like I was crazy, but then just gave me that _oh, you were staring at my abs_ smirk and winked at me. Frankie introduced me to you and I could... I could barely get my name out. I remember Frankie told you to scram so we could have the pool to ourselves and I just sat there secretly hoping you would walk back out." She started blushing again, giggling a little.

"I remember now," Miles grinned. "That was back when you had that really short, pink, blondish haircut. And you were wearing a rainbow bikini."

"Yeah, that's right," Lola said. She leaned back into him and sighed. "Man. Who would've thought we'd end up having a _baby_ together?"

"Yeah," Miles chuckled, staring up at the ceiling. "Pretty crazy, alright." He paused. "I _am_ uh, sorry I knocked you up your first time though."

Lola shrugged. "At least our daughter's cute."

"You're still taking your pills, right?" Miles asked. As much as he did love Hope... another baby was not what they needed anytime soon.

"Yeah, yeah I take them the right way now," Lola muttered. They used condoms too now, at least most of the time, to be extra safe.

Miles breathed a small sigh of relief. "Good," he said, giving her a peck on the cheek.

Lola looked him thoughtfully. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

Lola took a deep breath. "Who was your first?"

Miles raised his eyebrows at her. "You really wanna know?"

Lola shrugged. "Just curious," she said, smiling a little.

Miles sighed. "Okay, it was... it was with this senior at boarding school my freshman year. I was like, 14, she was... 17, maybe 18. We got kind of drunk together at the homecoming game and then we went back to her dorm. Her roommate was gone, so then we, um..." He looked at Lola nervously, his cheeks turning scrarlett red.

"Relax," Lola rolled her eyes. "I know I wasn't your first. It was pretty obvious you knew what you were doing," she laughed.

"Does it bother you at all, though?" Miles asked. "That I've slept with a lot of girls? And... guys? Well, one guy at least."

Lola shook her head. "Not really," she said quietly. "I mean, at first I was kind of jealous. But the number of people you've been with doesn't change what we have. And I've always been cool with the bisexual thing. It's who you are." She smiled.

"Tristan never was," Miles sighed. "He was never really okay with me being bi, I mean. He always said I had to decide."

Lola shook her head. "Yeah, well, Tristan's full of it," she muttered. "He also called me fat, so..."

Miles sat up. " _What_?" he said angrily.

"Well, he didn't... he didn't _exactly_ say that," Lola said, fidgeting with her hair like she always did when she was nervous. "But when we ran into each other in the hallway once last year, he asked if I was _sure_ I wasn't having twins." She sighed. "And he called me some, um, things."

"What kind of things?" Miles said, his voice tense.

"Um... baby mama," Lola said. "Slut. Hussy. Tramp..." She looked down. "I kind of deserved it though. I did steal his boyfriend."

Miles shook his head. "No, no," he said. "That's not true. I mean, yeah, I-- I know I cheated on him with you and that it was a crummy thing to do. But Lola, you... you saved my life last year." He squeezed her hand. "I really couldn't have survived everything without you." He shook his head, laughing slightly. "And you never looked fat, by the way."

"Miles, get real," Lola said, laughing too. "I looked like a beached whale when I was pregnant."

"Well, I like whales," Miles shrugged, grinning. "They're my favorite animal." He noticed Lola's expression had turned sad all of a sudden. "What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking," Lola said, her eyes sad. "My dog. I miss Fernando so much."

Miles squeezed her hand again. "Have you heard from your dad at all?"

"Yeah," Lola sighed. "He's called a couple of times and tried to get me to come home. But I'm not going back, not unless my mom leaves."

"I'm sorry, Lo," Miles frowned. He pulled her close. "But it is nice having you and the baby here."

"Yeah," Lola agreed. She leaned against his chest and closed her eyes, falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. At least here, she was safe.


	85. Twin Time

Glad the last chapter was well-received. I think I've kind of gotten the hang of writing Mola's dynamic now! This next chapter is from Frankie's POV... By the way, check out my Lola/Saad one-shot if you want! xx

 **Twin Time**

Frankie laid on her bed Friday evening scrolling through her phone and watching as Lola did her makeup. They had been roommates for over a week now, Lola bunking on the spare mattress on Frankie's floor. It pretty much was like having a sister-- they did each other's nails, talked late into the night, and bickered over clothing. On the other hand though, Lola was still sleeping with Frankie's brother, something Frankie tried really hard not to think about. She always knew when they had just done it-- Lola would come into Frankie's room with her hair all messy and her cheeks flushed, not making eye contact with her. Even though the baby was concrete evidence, Frankie still didn't like to think about her best friend and brother banging. It was kind of an elephant in the room, even over a year later.

"So," Frankie said, scrolling through Hastygram. _Was that Zig with his arm around some girl? The nerve._ "Where are you and Miles going tonight?"

"Little Miss Steaks," Lola said, freshening her lipstick. She grinned like a little kid. "I'm kinda excited. We haven't been out just the two of us since... well, since before Hope was born." She paused. "Are you _sure_ you and Hunter are gonna be okay babysitting tonight?"

"We'll be fine," Frankie said, still fixated on Zig's Hastygram pic. "It's not like you're leaving the baby with strangers. She's our niece."

"True," Lola said. She smiled. "Auntie Franks... God, that's so _cute_. Imagine how adorable Hope will sound saying your name."

Miles came into the room carrying Hope, who was trying to grab his nose. "Ready to go?"

"Umm, almost," Lola said, taking the baby from him. "I just want to go over everything one more time."

"You've explained everything like fifty times," Frankie reminded her. God, Lola could be such a helicopter mom sometimes.

"I know, I know," Lola said, holding Hope close. "But still. There's three bottles of formula in the fridge, the baby powder and diapers are on the changing table, she's already in her pajamas... oh, and she likes these songs when you put her to sleep in her crib--"

"Lo," Miles cut her off. "It's okay. They've got it."

Lola sighed, looking down at Hope. "Sorry," she said. "It's just... this is our baby, you know? She's the most important thing in the world to me."

"We won't let anything happen to her," Frankie assured her. She really wanted them to just leave already, honestly. It was almost insulting that Lola didn't trust her, considering how long they had known each other and that this was _her_ _niece_.

Lola sighed and finally handed the baby over to Frankie. "Bye, Princesa," she said, kissing her forehead. "Mommy and Daddy will be back in a couple of hours." Miles practically had to drag her away from the baby.

Frankie shut the front door behind her. " _Okay_ ," she said to Hope, relieved they were finally gone. She sat on the couch, cradling the baby in her lap. "So, what should we do first--"

 _Wahhhh!_ Hope started to scream.

"Dammit," Frankie muttered, looking at the crying baby frantically. "Hunter? A little help here?"

Hunter came into the living room and sat next to them on the couch. "What's wrong, Hope?" he asked, taking the baby from Frankie. "You want your bottle? Your rattle? Um..."

Hope slowly stopped crying.

Frankie frowned. "Why does she like you better than me?" she said to her twin, a little jealous.

"I don't know," Hunter said. "Maybe cause I look more like Miles?" He shrugged, handing the baby back to Frankie.

Frankie smelled something all of a sudden. "Ugh," she groaned, peeking at the baby's diaper. "Come on, Hope. Let's get you changed."

It only took two seconds for Frankie and Hunter to realize they had no idea what they were doing. "Come on, hold her still," Hunter said to Frankie as they tried to change the baby's diaper.

"I'm _trying_!" Frankie said, holding onto Hope's legs. _How did Lola do this every day?_ "You're using way too much baby powder."

"Oh _sorry_ , I didn't realize you were such an expert," Hunter scoffed.

Frankie rolled her eyes. _"There_ ," she said, fastening the diaper. She lifted Hope off the changing table, bouncing her against her shoulder.

"Eee baba," Hope cooed, sucking her thumb.

Frankie smiled at the baby. Maybe Hunter was her favorite, but she still _was_ named after Frankie. She set her down on the floor and laid next to her, noticing how Hope's smile looked just like Miles'. It was still crazy to think of her older brother as a dad, to think that he was responsible for this little life in front of her.

Hunter handed Hope her stuffed teddy bear. "Ha, I remember buying that," Frankie said, looking at the little stuffed bear. Lola dragged her and Shay around the mall for hours last year looking at baby stuff. She and Shay had gotten pretty tired of it after awhile, but Lola insisted they hit every baby store in the mall. They knew better than to argue-- Lola herself could be feisty, but pregnant Lola was a whole other level of scary when she didn't get her way. Once in her third trimester, she yelled at Frankie for getting her the wrong kind of juice from the cafeteria.

"It's kinda weird, isn't it?" Frankie said to Hunter. "Miles and Lola having a baby."

"Yeah," Hunter said, watching as Hope tried to chew on the teddy bear. She didn't have any teeth yet, though. "You know what I was just thinking? I remember last year when we were working on editing together, Lola was acting all weird and saying stuff like _did you know you have to wait a bunch of weeks before a test can detect whether or not you're pregnant?_ I thought it was weird, but... I never thought..."

"It would be our brother?" Frankie said, laughing a little. "Yeah, I didn't see it coming either." She sighed, eyes glued to the baby. "Do you think she looks like us?"

"Yeah, I'd say so," Hunter said, grinning. "She's got the Hollingsworth cheekbones."

Just then, Hope started to cry again. Frankie sighed. "She's probably hungry," she said to Hunter, lifting her off the floor. "Let me just take her downstairs and get--"

 _There was a thud. Then a loud scream._

"You _dropped_ her!" Hunter cried, scrambling to pick up the screaming baby.

Frankie froze in shock, her hands trembling. "I-- I don't know how that happened!" she said, her eyes flooding with tears. "She just kept squirming and... and my hands must have slipped and--"

"Go grab the first aid kit!" Hunter said. There was blood dripping from Hope's chin. A _lot._

Frankie ran down the hallway in a panic, searching the cabinets frantically for first aid stuff. Oh god, oh god. What if Hope needed stitches? This was all her fault. Oh god. Miles and Lola were going to _kill_ her. They'd left her with their most precious thing and she'd fucked it up.

She heard Hunter shout from the other room, "Frankie, _hurry!_ "


	86. Urgent Care

Once again, thank you for your reviews! Last chapter was fun to write with the twins. I know the general direction the story is going, but are there any particular plot points you'd like to see? xx

 **Urgent Care**

Lola knew something was wrong before her cell even rang. She always just knew when something was wrong with Hope-- it was like a sixth sense that came with motherhood. She'd felt it even before Hope was born, late at night when she would be kicking Lola a little too hard or not quite enough. Lola would get a sick feeling inside her, caressing her stomach and thinking _please be okay baby, please be okay._ And now she had that same feeling again, that something just wasn't right.

Miles noticed her uneasiness. "What's wrong?" he asked, putting his menu down. They hadn't even ordered dinner yet.

Lola sighed. "I just have a feeling..."

Just then, her cell rang. Lola answered it immediately. "Franks? Is everything okay with the baby?"

Miles stared uneasily as Lola's expression changed, suddenly getting a pit in his stomach too.

"Frankie, Frankie, _slow down_! What happened?"

"What?" Miles said anxiously. His hands were shaking. "What is it?"

"Oh my god!" Lola cried. "Oh-- oh my _god_. We'll meet you there as fast as we can!" She hung up and started sobbing.

Now Miles was really panicked. "What's wrong? What happened?" he cried, reaching for Lola's hand.

"Hope... she--" Lola could barely get the words out, she was breathing so hard. "She split her chin open. She's... she's okay, but there was a lot of blood. She might need stitches..." She leaned into Miles' shoulder and cried some more.

Miles tried to comfort her, his own face growing pale and shaky. "What? Oh my god, where is she now?"

"Urgent care," Lola said, grabbing her purse and standing up. "We... we need to meet the twins there right now. They can't do anything without us signing for it."

Miles grabbed his keys and hugged Lola tight, squeezing her hand the whole way to the hospital. He felt like he was going to be sick. The further he drove, the angrier he got. He had trusted his siblings with his daughter and they couldn't even handle her for an _hour_. He thought those were the two people he could count on the most and they had proven him wrong. He was so angry he was shaking.

"Miles," Lola whispered, noticing his trembling. "Miles, calm down."

Miles turned to Lola. " _Calm_ _down_?" he said. "How the hell am I supposed to calm down when our daughter's in the hospital?"

"Miles, I..." Lola started to cry again, startled by the harsh tone of his voice.

"Lo," Miles sighed, his voice gentler now. He didn't mean to upset her. He was angry, but not at Lola. Never at Lola.

Miles held Lola's hand as they rushed into urgent care, trying to figure out where the twins and Hope were. As soon as Miles walked into the hospital, he felt the pit in his stomach grow deeper. Hospitals always gave him a weird feeling, especially lately. He'd spent far too much time in them these past two years, between being by Tristan's bedside nearly every day to rushing Lola here in an ambulance when she fainted to being there for Hope's birth. For the first time, Miles realized just how _tired_ he was. So much had happened in the past year and he'd barely gotten a chance to catch his breath.

"Um... we're looking for our daughter, Hope Hollingsworth," Lola said to the lady at front desk sheepishly. She was so tiny that she had to stand on her tiptoes to see over the desk. "She... she came in with her aunt and uncle, Frankie and Hunter Hollingsworth? We think she split her chin. She's um... she's four and a half months old."

The receptionist tilted her glasses, narrowing her eyes at Lola like she was questioning how anyone that small and young-looking could have a baby of her own. "Ah-- yes," she muttered, glancing at her computer. "I'll need you to fill out this paperwork..."

Miles took the stack of forms. "I've got this," he said to Lola. He tried to reassure her with a weak smile. "You should go and see her."

Lola looked at him hesitantly, then finally nodded. "Okay," she whispered, squeezing his hand. She followed the receptionist down into the hallway, looking smaller and smaller as she disappeared before Miles as if she were Alice going down the Rabbit Hole.

As he tried his best to fill out all the paperwork, Miles suddenly felt a little twinge of guilt. The last time Lola was here at the hospital was when she went into labor... and he hadn't been by her side. He'd shown up later and been there for the actual birth sure, but he still felt guilty for not being there with Lola through the whole thing, for not answering as soon as she called. He thought of how scared Lola must have been, probably holding onto Frankie's hand and crying while he was at home passed out drunk.

Miles felt like he had missed important things from day one, like he wasn't there for his daughter when he should have been. He tried to be a good father, tried to always be there for everything, but he still fucked up. He still ran out of the first doctor's appointment, he still missed Lola going into labor... and now his baby was in the hospital without her dad by her side. _Goddamnit._

He got up from his seat, his face pale and his palms shaking more than ever. "Can I finish this paperwork in a minute?" he asked the receptionist. "Right now, I just really need to see my daughter."


	87. Tripping Over Myself

I'm glad you guys are digging the daily updates-- reading everyone's comments is honestly the highlight of my day! School starts again for me next week, so updates will probably be more like every other day, but I'll write as often as I can xx

 **Tripping Over Myself**

Lola followed the receptionist down the hall, moving as quickly as her tiny feet could carry her. Her heart was racing so fast that she felt like it was going to burst. She just wanted to hold her baby already, just wanted to kiss her little face and assure her that everything was okay, that her mom was here to protect her.

She thought of her dad suddenly, wondering if he had felt this same sense of protectiveness over Lola when he came to see her in the hospital after Hope was born. As she glanced around the all-too-familiar hospital halls, her mind wandered back to a few months ago when she went into labor with Hope:

 _Lola anxiously sat next to Frankie in the waiting room, trying Miles' cell for the hundredth time. She almost screamed when she got his voicemail yet again._

 _"He'll be here, Lo," Frankie tried to assure her, squeezing her hand. "Miles may be an idiot, but he wouldn't miss his kid being born."_

 _Lola started to cry as another contraction came on. "This is_ so _unfair," she said to Frankie. "I'm here squeezing out his baby and he's off god-knows-where, doing god-knows-what..." She started to get angry all of a sudden, thinking of all the people who had left when she needed them-- Miles, Tiny, her mom..._

 _"He'll be here," Frankie said again. "I know he will."_

 _Lola sighed, staring down at the stack of paperwork in front of her. "I don't even_ know _my blood type," she sniffled to Frankie, putting the pen down. She looked around the room and realized she was the youngest one here._

 _After what felt like a million years, a nurse finally called Lola's name. They put Lola in a wheelchair and rolled her down the hall-- Frankie had to lie and say she was Lola's sister for them to let her to come back with her. "Do you have a parent with you, sweetie?" the nurse asked Lola. "Your mom or dad or..."_

 _Lola shook her head. As the nurse set her up in the hospital bed, she suddenly realized how terrified she was, how young and unprepared she was for all of this. "Am I the first sixteen-year-old_ _you've ever done this to?" she asked the doctor faintly._

Lola had that same terrified feeling now as she walked into the room. "Oh my god, my _baby_!" she cried, rushing over and taking Hope from Hunter's arms. She covered the baby in kisses, sobbing as she hugged her.

"Be careful," Hunter warned her, looking uneasy. "You don't want her bandage to come off."

Hope's chin was all bandaged up, the cut still visible underneath. It was obvious she had bled a lot. She started to fuss, leaning into Lola and whimpering. "Shh, baby," Lola whispered, rocking her back and forth and trying to comfort her. "It's okay, it's okay! Mommy's here."

The doctor finally came in. "It's a pretty deep cut," he said. "She'll be fine, but she's going to need a couple of stitches."

" _Stitches_?" Lola cried, still holding Hope in her lap. "Oh god, my poor baby..."

Just then, Miles walked in. "How is she? Is she okay?" he said frantically, rushing over to Lola and the baby.

"She's going to need stitches," the doctor said matter-a-factly, gently tearing Hope's bandage off. Lola almost threw up when she saw the cut, all red and bloody. She wished she could take Hope's pain and just give it to herself. The doctor glanced back and forth between Lola and Miles. "Are you two the parents?"

"Yeah, I'm the father," Miles said, sighing. He looked exhausted. He turned to the twins as the doctor started to work on Hope's stitches. "Now, what the _hell_ happened?"

Neither twin spoke for a minute, both looking to the other. "It's my fault," Frankie finally said, looking like she was about to cry. "I... I picked her up off the floor and she... she kept squirming and my hands were kinda slippery and... I... I--" She looked down at the floor, not wanting to face Miles and Lola. "I dropped her," she said, so quiet it was almost a whisper.

Miles took a deep breath, anger just building and building inside of him. His face turned hot and his fists trembled. It was like he was a volcano, just waiting to erupt. "You _what_?" he shouted.

Lola put her hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. "Miles..."

Miles ignored Lola, looking furious at both of the twins. "I left you in charge of my daughter! I _trusted_ you to take care of her and you couldn't even do it for an _hour_? I step out of the house for an _hour_ and you put my kid in the fucking _hospital_?"

Frankie started crying. "I-- I didn't mean to," she sobbed. "Miles, it was an _accident_. I-- I'm so sorry--"

"Oh, you're _sorry_?" Miles scoffed. "Well, I'm sorry for trusting you!" His heart was pounding so hard. "God, you're so _selfish_!"

Frankie stared at Miles for a minute, looking like he had just slapped her. She only cried harder.

"Miles, don't yell at her," Lola said quietly, sniffling. She was upset too, but she knew Frankie would never hurt Hope on purpose. And yelling wasn't helping anyone right now.

"There you go," the doctor interrupted, clearly ignoring all the yelling in the room. "All stitched up."

"Is she... is she going to be okay?" Hunter piped up. He looked very pale.

The doctor nodded, turning to Miles and Lola. "Just don't get her chin wet for a few days. Watch her closely and bring her back here in a week." He sighed a little. "I have to ask-- with your young age and all... are you keeping an eye on her? You're keeping her properly fed, clean, out of danger, all that?"

"We can handle our daughter," Miles snapped. "Just because we're young doesn't mean we're lousy parents."

"Miles..." Lola sighed again.

On the way back from the hospital, no one spoke. Lola just held onto Hope tightly, squeezing her little fingers and crying a little still. She never wanted to let her out of her sight ever again.


	88. Separation Anxiety

I'll try my best to make the chapters a bit longer; I just don't want to sacrifice quality of writing or take forever to update for the sake of length. Certain chapters will probably just be longer than others. Glad Miles and Lola's actions last chapter were well-received xx

 **Separation Anxiety**

Lola sat in the rocking chair with Hope early in the morning barely awake, just watching the tiny baby in her arms sleep. She had slept in the nursery with her every night since the accident, not wanting to take her eyes off of her for even a second. If she had been a bit of a helicopter mom before, the injury had made her a whole new level of protective over Hope.

The door cracked open. "Hey," Miles said quietly, his footsteps creaking against the floor.

"Shh!" Lola whispered, holding the baby close. "You'll wake her up."

Miles sighed-- this was the third night in a row that Lola had fallen asleep in the rocking chair like this. "Come to bed, Lo," he said wearily. "You need your rest."

Lola just shook her head. "I don't want to leave her."

Miles sat on the floor next to them. He looked at Lola worriedly. He was anxious about the baby too-- he still wasn't speaking to Frankie, he was so upset still-- but he didn't want Lola to put her life on hold forever like this. "You haven't been to school for three days," he said. "You've gotta go back at some point... my mom and I told you we'd watch Hope."

Lola looked down at the baby. "Just give me a few more days," she said.

"That's what you said yesterday," Miles sighed.

Lola didn't say anything. _She could be so stubborn._ "At least let me take her for a little while then," Miles said. "So you can get some sleep."

"I'm _fine_ ," Lola insisted, a little louder than she meant to.

Hope started to whimper. _"Weh, weh!"_

Miles tried to take the baby, but Lola waved him off. "Just go back to bed," she insisted. "I've got her."

"Fine," Miles muttered, too tired to argue. He shut the door behind him, looking grumpy as he disappeared into the hallway.

Hope was still crying. Lola sighed-- the baby's cut was healing okay, but it still looked pretty bad. Lola knew Hope wouldn't even remember the injury, but she still felt sick to her stomach thinking about her baby being in any type of pain. "It's okay, baby," she whispered. "Mommy's here." She pulled down her robe and started to nurse her, yawning loudly.

As she nursed Hope, she looked through her camera roll on her cell to keep her awake. Lola hardly ever deleted photos, preferring to keep the memories no matter what. She scrolled down from the top-- _wow, her hair was short back then._ She kind of missed her pink hair, she realized. Oh god, there was that one photo she had posted of her and Tiny last year that had caused a huge fight between her and Shay. She chuckled a little to herself, hardly believing that there was a time when her biggest problem was who Tiny liked more. She kept scrolling and found the first selfie she and Miles ever took together, a few pics of her and Saad, some mirror selfies she took while she was pregnant, pics with Frankie and Shay and with Yael, a million pictures of Hope...

She froze as she came across a photo of her, her dad, and Hope. It was from the day Hope was born-- Miles had taken it. Lola was lying in the hospital bed, her face still all gross and sweaty from labor, cradling the newborn infant. Her dad was standing behind her, just looking at the baby and smiling a little.

Lola started to cry suddenly, realizing how much she missed her dad. For the longest time, he was the only one she could count on in this world. She sniffled at the thought of her dad standing over Hope's empty bassinet, crying because his daughter didn't want to come home. She knew she had made the right decision by moving out, but it was still so hard.

The door opened again. "Lola?" a voice said quietly. "Are you awake still?"

Lola glanced up from the baby as Mrs. Hollingsworth came into the nursery. She was surprised to see her-- she tried to act strict, but in reality she wasn't home a whole lot and mostly just let the kids do their own thing. "Sorry," Lola whispered, still nursing Hope. "Didn't mean to wake you."

"No, no, you didn't," Mrs. H said. "I just saw the light on still." She took a seat on the bed near Lola. "I noticed you haven't been going to school lately."

"Um, yeah," Lola said quietly, trying to keep herself covered up. "I just... I don't think I should leave Hope quite yet. She needs me."

"School was part of the deal with you living here," Mrs. H reminded her.

Lola sighed. "What's the point of school anymore?" she said, looking down at the baby, who had finally finished nursing. "I mean, I'm probably not going to university," she said, burping Hope. "I pretty much threw away any shot at having a normal life when I got pregnant, didn't I?" She shrugged, barely looking at Mrs. H. "Pretty much threw away Miles' chance at it too."

Mrs. H shook her head. "Don't talk like that," she said. "Look-- I know I wasn't exactly... the most supportive in the beginning. I'm not a perfect mother. Far from it." She sighed. "But I see the way my son looks at you. I can see how happy you make him, how in love he is with you and the baby." She laughed a little under her breath, adding, "And to tell you the truth, I always liked you better than that Matlin girl."

Lola smiled a little. She and Mrs. Hollingsworth's relationship had been more than rocky, but Mrs. H wasn't so bad. She had been more of a mother figure to Lola lately than her actual mom ever had. "Thanks," Lola said quietly, finally making eye contact.

Mrs. H nodded, just staring at the baby for a second. "She looks just like Frankie did at this age," she said.

"I'm not sure I'll be asking Frankie to babysit again anytime soon," Lola muttered.

"Oh, trust me," Mrs. H said, "I had a _very_ long talk with her. I'm not letting her hold the baby without supervision."

" _Good_ ," Lola said. She took a deep breath and then added quietly, "... but I know it was an accident."

Mrs. H was quiet for a minute, then spoke up again. "Promise me you'll go back to school soon."

"Just... just let me stay home one more day," Lola begged softly, cradling Hope against her chest. "Please."

Mrs. H got off the bed. "I suppose," she said, cracking the door open. "Oh. And Lola?"

Lola looked up. "Yeah?"

"If you and Miles are going to fool around in the house, at _least_ play music or something for godssakes. These walls are way too thin."


	89. Princess Diana

Since I enjoyed writing from the twins' perspectives, I thought I'd do something a little different and explore Mrs. Hollingsworth's POV in this chapter. Hope you guys like it; it was a bit difficult to write. This chapter is also longer xx

 **Princess Diana**

Mrs. Hollingsworth awoke later that morning to the sound of Hope's crying. The baby's cries had become a natural alarm clock; they woke everyone up pretty much every morning.

It was kind of strange, hearing baby cries in the Hollingsworth house. It had been seventeen years since the twins were babies and Mrs. H had thought-- or at least hoped-- she wouldn't have grandchildren for another ten years or so. She thought back to the days of caring for a toddler Miles and a pair of colicky twins, remembering all of the sleepless nights she had endured. Once, she had been so sleep-deprived that she actually mixed the twins up, dressing Hunter in a pink bonnet and Frankie in a blue race car onesie.

She heard Lola pacing around the downstairs, trying to sing Hope lullabies but blissfully unaware that her voice was off-key. The twins were at school and Miles was out running errands so it was just her, Lola, and the baby.

Mrs. Hollingsworth still couldn't believe she was really a grandma, much less that her son was a father. They both seemed far too young for those titles. She remembered how shocked she had been when Miles came to her last year on Christmas Eve and told her about Lola.

She had just been sipping coffee by the pool, waiting on the chef they still had back then, when Miles dropped the bombshell on her:

 _"Mom," Miles said, pulling up a chair. His face looked rather pale, like he was going to be sick. "I need to talk to you."_

 _Mrs. H set her coffee down, suddenly nervous. She worried that maybe Miles was doing drugs again or that he'd gotten into some kind of school trouble. Her oldest son was such a wild card; you really couldn't predict what he was going to do next. "Yes?" she said, trying to appear calm. She was the parent, after all._

" _Um," Miles stammered, his forehead dripping with sweat. "What would you do if... hypothetically..."_

 _"Miles, what is it?" Mrs. H said, now even more concerned._

 _"Um, let's just say... hypothetically," Miles said, "someone in this family like... got pregnant?"_

 _"Is Frankie pregnant?" Mrs. H said, almost shouting. God, she knew that Jonah was bad news._

 _"No, no!" Miles said, still sweating nervously. "It's not Frankie!" He took a deep breath. "It's... it's Lola."_

 _Mrs. H breathed a sigh of relief. Her own daughter wasn't knocked up, at least. "Well, that's terrible," she shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee. "She's far too young." Wait. Why did Miles even care about Lola? Wasn't she Frankie's friend?_

 _"Mom," Miles said. "It's mine."_

 _Mrs. H spit out her latte. "What?" she shouted._

 _"I'm sorry," Miles muttered, his face even paler now. "I'm really, really sorry." He looked down at the floor, almost like he was about to cry or something. "I... I fucked up."_

 _Mrs. H pressed her hand to her forehead and sighed loudly, just taking this all in. She_ _already knew Miles was no virgin, much as she didn't like to think about it. When he was only twelve, she caught him making out in the pool with a high school freshman. She had seen that Esme girl sneak out of his room in the morning once or twice and she had nearly walked in on him and Zoe a_ _couple of summers ago. She had never said anything to him about it. As long as he wasn't on drugs or pissing off his father, it wasn't that big of a deal if he had a girl in his room. Frankie had called her out more than once for being a hypocrite, since she never let Winston or Jonah in her daughter's room._ _She_ _knew it was hypocritical, but as she'd told Frankie, Miles couldn't get pregnant. She knew there was always a chance he could knock someone else up, but she thought he was at least smart enough to use protection. "Miles, you've got to be kidding me!" she said._

 _"I'm sorry," Miles said again. "I'm a terrible kid, I know."_

 _Mrs. H just shook her head, not bothering to respond to that last remark. She didn't have time for his self-pity today. "How... how do you even know it's yours?" she said. Lola had always seemed genuine, but she didn't want her son to be trapped by some_ _golddigger._

 _"It's mine," Miles insisted, looking a little offended. "Trust me, I know." He sighed. "Look, I already took her to the doctor and the due date aligns perfectly with--" He went quiet suddenly, realizing he should spare his mother the details of the baby's conception._

 _"How could the two of you be so_ _irresponsible?" Mrs. H said, growing more and more upset. "What were you thinking? God, do you realize what it takes to raise a child?" She started to cry a little, thinking of her son as a father at such a young age. She'd wanted so much more for her kids than to be teenage parents. Miles was unstable enough already, how could he handle a baby?_

Mrs. Hollingsworth had remained pretty upset about the whole situation for months afterwards. She was angry partly at Miles, but mostly at herself. She felt like she'd failed as a parent somewhere along the way. She tried to accept the pregnancy, tried to make the best of it. But when Lola came to dinner at their place last year, five and a half months along and sporting a baby bump, reality smacked Mrs. H in the face. She was so upset that she took it all out on Lola, causing a scene over dinner and probably driving her to faint. She felt terribly guilty for that still.

Mrs. H slowly started to come around and make peace with the situation as Lola's due date got closer. She had hated having Lola come around the house at first. Whenever she came over, she avoided eye contact and tried not to look at Lola's growing stomach, tried to ignore the evidence that her son was really going to be a father at seventeen. But with Lola lounging around on the pool chair outside all the time, hands on her baby bump and yelling, "Miles! You've got to feel this kick," it was becoming harder to deny the reality of it all. She was going to be a grandmother, whether she liked it or not.

The two of them didn't talk much during the pregnancy. Once or twice though, Lola came to Mrs. Hollingsworth for advice-- she didn't have a mother of her own to turn to, so it kind of made sense. Lola would always act super intimidated whenever she approached her, speaking softly and always checking first to make sure she wasn't bothering her.

"Um, Mrs. Hollingsworth?" Lola asked timidly one afternoon near the beginning of her third trimester. "I was just wondering, did you get an epidural with Miles or the twins?" And then a month or so later asking, "Do you think cloth or disposable diapers are better? Miles and I can't stop arguing about it."

As upset as she was about the unplanned pregnancy, Mrs. Hollingsworth had to admit she liked Lola. She had always been a good friend to Frankie and there was just something undeniably _good_ about her. She was sweet and kind, even with that wild blue hair. And she treated Miles better and made him happier than anyone else had ever seemed to. Mrs. Hollingsworth had been shocked about their hookup at first, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Lola had always seemed like she had a little crush on him and they had spent a lot of time together for the play. Mrs. Hollingsworth had to admit they were a good match when it came down to it.

When Hope was born, Mrs. Hollingsworth couldn't help but fall in love with the baby immediately. Miles had let her hold Hope in the hospital just hours after she was born, hovering over and watching the baby all protectively as she took her into her arms. "She's beautiful, you two," Mrs. Hollingsworth had said to Lola and Miles, a tear streaming down her face.

That bliss was short-lived, with everything turning to chaos the next morning with Mr. Hollingsworth's arrest. Mrs. H still felt guilty for how she had kind of thrown Miles under the bus during the trial. She didn't know what else to do-- she didn't want her husband to hurt any of them, especially not the kids or the baby. It was one of her worst parenting moments, she thought to herself solemnly later.

She walked downstairs now and saw Lola and Hope on the couch, both fast asleep. She chuckled a little to herself and then put a blanket on Lola's feet to keep her warm. She took a second and just watched the two of them, thinking how crazy this last year had been.

Just then, Miles walked in the door carrying a box of diapers. "God, these things are expensive," he muttered.

"Shh, don't wake them," Mrs. Hollingsworth said, nodding over at Lola and Hope. She sighed. "Are you and your sister _still_ not talking?"

Miles shrugged. "Frankie put Hope in danger," he said. "How am I supposed to just forget about that?"

Mrs. H shook her head. "Do you remember when you were around ten years old and we left you in charge of the twins for an hour? We came home and Hunter had fallen off the swing and scraped his arm up so bad we almost had to bring him to the emergency room."

"I was only ten," Miles pointed out.

"My point is," Mrs. H sighed, "these things happen. I'm not... I'm not exactly happy with Frankie right now. But it _was_ an accident, Miles."

Miles glanced over at the couch. "Lola still isn't back at school?"

"She doesn't want to leave the baby," Mrs. H said. "I think we're both going to have to talk to her. I can't have her skipping school forever like this."

Miles walked over the the couch and looked down at Lola and the baby, just watching them for a minute. "I don't ever want anything bad to happen to her again," Miles said, eyes fixated on Hope.

Mrs. H took a deep breath. "Welcome to parenthood, honey."


	90. Baby Blues

I'm glad the last chapter was well-received; I was honestly super nervous about it! I have some interesting plots planned, but again, let me know if there's any specific ideas you'd like to see implemented. Thanks for sticking with the story for 90 chapters (and counting)! xx

 **Baby Blues**

A few days later, Lola sat in the nursery with the baby early in the morning, propping her up carefully against a pillow and doing flashcards with her. She was trying to teach Hope both English and Spanish-- it was important to Lola that the baby grew up knowing about her culture.

" _Gato_ ," she said to Hope, holding up a picture of a cat. " _Gato_."

Hope smiled. "Gah!" she cooed.

Lola shook her head and chuckled. " _Gato_ ," she repeated. " _Gato_ is _cat_. _Cat_ \--"

"Lo?"

Miles came in, yawning and holding a mug of coffee. "What are you doing home? You were supposed to go back to school today. Well, yesterday, actually."

Lola didn't look at him, still fixated on the baby. "I um... I wasn't feeling well," she fibbed.

Miles took a seat next to Lola and sighed deeply. "You haven't been to school for days, Lo," he said. "You've got to go back. Hope's stitches have healed up just fine. You can't afford to miss any more class."

Lola picked the baby up and put her in her lap, holding her so tightly Miles was afraid she might burst. "No," Lola said, her voice trembling. "No Miles, I can't go back yet. She needs me."

Miles shook his head, groaning. "So what, then?" he said, growing irritated. "You're just going to drop out? Give up on school, throw everything away?"

Lola just shrugged. "I don't want to leave her," she said, starting to tear up. "I _can't_ leave her."

Hope started to fuss. "See?" Lola said, pulling the baby closer. "She _needs_ me."

Miles watched as Lola cradled the baby, realizing he kind of understood what she was feeling. So many times last year, Tristan's mom had told him to just go home and rest, that he was fine. But Miles had always insisted that Tristan needed him. He was so afraid that if he didn't spend every second by his bed, something awful would happen. It wore him out after awhile of course-- it was too emotionally exhausting to look after someone 24/7 like that. Miles didn't want Lola to have to go through that same pain. "Do you remember what you told me last year when I first worked as a waiter at the cantina?" he said. "It was when we first started hanging out and I was all worried about leaving Tristan's bedside."

Lola sighed at the mention of Tristan's name. "Yeah?" she muttered. "No, I... I don't remember."

"You told me it's okay to recharge sometimes," Miles said, squeezing her hand gently. "That we all need breaks."

Lola squeezed his hand back, but then started to cry harder. "Miles, what if something happens?" she cried. "I don't want to leave her... I... I can't let anything happen to our baby."

Miles squeezed her hand tighter. "She's going to be _fine_ ," he insisted. "Look, do you know how many times I got bruised up as a kid? I mean, once I almost broke my arm pretending to be Superman. Hope's not even going to _remember_ getting these stitches."

Lola blinked back tears. She finally let Miles hold the baby. "What if... what if I come home and check on her at lunchtime?" she said. "At least let me do that."

"So you'll go to school this morning?" Miles said.

"Yeah," Lola sighed, eyes still glued to Hope. "I guess so. Shay and Yael have been blowing up my phone asking where I've been and Perino is up my ass about all these pop quizzes I've missed." She held onto Hope's tiny fingers. "Just... just promise me you'll be extra careful. And call me if anything happens. Anything at all."

Miles leaned in and kissed her. "I promise."

"Gah!" Hope said again, looking at the picture of the cat.

Miles looked down at the flashcard. "You're teaching her Spanish?"

"Yeah," Lola nodded. "I want her to be able to speak it."

"Well, I guess I'll have to learn too then," Miles said, laughing a little. "You know, I actually tried to teach myself how to speak it last year when I first worked at the cantina. Kinda to impress you." He grinned, turning a little red.

Lola smiled. "Do you remember any of it?"

"Um," Miles said. " _La quesadilla_ is _requisima_."

"Sort of," Lola said. "That actually means "delicious."" She couldn't help but giggle, blushing at the thought of him sitting there trying to learn a whole new language just to impress her.

Miles smiled, ruffling Hope's hair. "Get to school," he said. "We'll be fine."

Lola leaned in and gave him a kiss. She looked at the baby worriedly, then kissed her forehead. "Bye, baby girl," she whispered. "See you in a couple hours."

Miles waved Hope's little hand. "Say "bye, Mommy.""

"Bah ma," Hope gurgled. Lola laughed and then leaned in and gave them both one more kiss.

An hour later, Miles walked downstairs with the baby to get food. Hope seemed to be doing okay without Lola-- she cried a little at first, but then got used to being with Miles again. "You've gotten so heavy," Miles said, carrying the five-month old down the stairs. Even though she was still really little, he kind of missed when she was just a helpless little baby that seemed to nearly fit in the palm of his hand. It wouldn't be long until they had to babyproof the whole house, he realized.

He walked into the kitchen and saw a big plate of slightly burnt bacon and eggs left out for him, his (sort of) favorite breakfast. Lying next to the plate was a brand new teddy bear. _For Miles and Hope_ , a note on the counter read. _Again_ , _I'm so sorry-- Auntie Franks_.

Miles picked up the note and sighed-- maybe he had been too harsh with his sister. He had pretty much given her the silent treatment for a week after he yelled at her in the hospital. He was just so upset about Hope that he took it all out on her. But it wasn't fair for him to be so angry for so long; Frankie didn't deserve that. He pulled out his phone to text her: _thanks, Frankenstein._

He settled onto the couch with Hope, who was enjoying her new teddy bear. "Buhh bahh!" she cooed happily, smiling and trying to chew on the bear's ears.

"You like that teddy, huh?" Miles chuckled. "Maybe Mommy and I will buy you more stuffed animals like that for Christmas."

Oh man, that's right. Christmas was only a month away. Not only was it Hope's first Christmas, but it was also his and Lola's first Christmas as a couple. He had saved up some money and wanted to get Lola something really special, something to show how much she meant to him. "Wanna help Daddy shop?" he cooed to Hope, reaching for the newspaper ads in front of him.

Hmm. Sweaters. Necklaces. Lingerie. Books. Nothing seemed quite meaningful enough. Lola deserved something amazing, something _really_ special.

He flipped through the jewelry ad and then paused. Suddenly, it hit him-- _he knew exactly the perfect gift for Lola._


	91. No Sweet Sixteen

I'm really enjoying including flashbacks here and there because I like being able to revisit scenes I didn't get to really explore-- hoping you guys like them okay, though! I hope these chapters haven't felt too fillerish xx

 **No Sweet Sixteen**

Lola walked into school that morning after being gone for over a week. The twins had given her a ride to school, the two siblings bickering the whole way as usual.

"Do you _have_ to play your stupid metal music?" Frankie said, switching the radio dial.

"Hey, it's better than that pop crap you play," Hunter snapped, changing the dial back. "After Jonah dumped you, you played nothing but Taylor Swift for months."

Lola groaned from the back seat, feeling butterflies in her stomach at the thought of being back at school again. She didn't really know why she was so nervous. She just felt like a fish out of water these days, worrying over baby stuff while everyone around her obsessed over school dances and dates and normal teenage stuff.

"You okay, Lo?" Frankie asked from the passenger seat. She still felt bad about Hope's accident.

"Yeah," Lola sighed. "Just, you know... thinking about the baby. As usual."

Frankie switched the radio station again. "Ooh, Christmas carols!" she squealed. "At least you can get excited for Hope's first Christmas. I can guarantee my mom's going to spoil the hell out of her."

"Yeah," Lola said, laughing a little as _Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer_ played. "As long as it's better than last Christmas. My dad hardly said two words to me the entire day."

"Why?" Hunter asked, clueless.

"Uh, because I had just told him your brother knocked me up?" Lola said. "He wasn't exactly thrilled about the whole bun in the oven thing."

"Right, yeah, that would kind of ruin the holiday mood," Hunter muttered, parking the car. "Well, I'm off to go meet the guys. See ya." He grabbed his bag and walked over to Vijay and also Baaz, who was not-so-subtly checking Lola out. Once after a vlogging meeting, Lola had overheard Baaz calling her a milf. She wasn't sure whether to be midly flattered or very offended by that.

Still, it was strange to be back. But not as weird as when she came back from winter break last year:

 _Lola walked into Degrassi with Shay and Frankie, trying to ignore all of the stares she was getting. When school had gotten out for Christmas last month, she was just barely starting to show. Now, her baby bump popped out like a balloon._

 _"On a scale of 1-10, how pregnant do I look in this sweater?" she sighed to Frankie and Shay in the restroom, second-guessing her outfit for the hundredth time._

 _"Um, do you really want us to answer that?" Shay said._

 _"Great," Lola muttered, frowning at her reflection in the mirror. "Saad's gonna think I look like a hippo." She sighed and followed them out the door, already going to be late for chem._

 _Someone bumped right into her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to--"_

 _Lola turned around and froze when she saw Miles. It was the first time they had seen each other in over a month. "Whoa," he said, staring at her stomach, which had doubled in size since the last time he saw her. "You're, um, you're..._ really _pregnant."_

 _Lola turned to walk away, huffing under her breath. "Yeah, thanks a lot, Miles," she muttered._

 _Miles scurried after her. "No uh, sorry, I just..." He was still staring at her stomach, which she found annoying-- what was she, a zoo animal? "I just meant... shit, it just now kinda hit me."_

 _"Lo, we're gonna be late to chem!" Frankie called after her, interrupting. She rolled her eyes at her older brother, sick of him always being around her friend group these days. "Miles, scram."_

 _"I'll talk to you later," Lola shrugged to Miles. She glanced back at him for a second as she walked down the hall with Frankie and Shay, thinking how odd it was that it was only a couple of months ago that she was making out with him under the stairwell and waking up in his bed. Their relationship seemed like a million years ago, but with the baby on its way, neither of them were going to forget about their little fling anytime soon._

 _Tiny was waiting for Shay outside the classroom. "Hey, babe," he said, pulling her into a kiss. He stared at Lola, his eyes wide. "Lola, you look, um--"_

 _"Don't. Finish. That sentence," Lola warned him._

Now, Lola walked into the media room and sat next to Yael. They were probably the only one who had never treated her weirdly throughout everything. "You're finally back!" Yael said.

"Yeah," Lola said, sighing but smiling a little. "Man, I probably have like, a million assignments to catch up on, huh?"

"Got that right," Yael laughed under their breath, handing Lola the giant stack of makeup work she'd asked them to pick up for her.

" _God_ ," Lola cried, groaning at the stack. "How am I supposed to get all of this done on top of the baby?"

"I guess you could ask Perino for an extension?" Yael shrugged. "I mean, he was pretty understanding last year when you were on bed rest."

"To be fair, I think he was just scared of my crazy, pregnant self," Lola laughed. "Those hormones could be a bitch."

"Yeah, you did scare me a couple of times too," Yael admitted. They sighed. "Listen though, do you have your next video ready? We really need to upload today."

 _"Shit_!" Lola said. "I-- I completely forgot."

"Okay," Yael shrugged, a bit annoyed but still trying to be understanding. "Well, will you have it done by tomorrow?"

"Um, well, I have to take the baby to her doctor's appointment tomorrow," Lola muttered, glancing at the calendar on her phone.

"The day after?" Yael asked.

"I promised to watch Hope while Miles has his follow up interview at TU," Lola said. _Shit. When did everything get so busy?_

Yael sighed. "Lola," they said gently. "Are you um... are you sure you can handle being on the team still? I mean... you've already got so much on your plate with the baby and all. The guys and I would understand if--"

"I'll-- I'll get it done," Lola said. "I swear." Just then, her cell rang. _Miles._ "Hey, is everything okay? Oh, she is? Well, there should be another teething ring in the freezer... do you see it? Okay. Love you too."

Lola hung up and turned back to Yael. "Sorry," she said. "The baby just started teething, so she's been extra fussy." She sighed. "Maybe I should go check on her."

"Lola, you've already missed so much school," Yael said, frowning.

"I know, I know," Lola said. She looked at the giant stack of homework and groaned. Math, science, history... none of these assignments seemed anywhere near as important as being with Hope. "I just... I'm gonna go check on her, okay? Can you tell Perino I'm sick or something?"

"Fine," Yael grumbled, too tired to argue.

"Ahh, you're the best," Lola smiled, grabbing her bag and heading out the door.

"Lola!" Yael called after her. "You forgot your homework!" But she was already gone.


	92. High School Never Ends

So I hope you guys aren't bored with the Lola school storyline-- I think it's going to get pretty interesting soon, but let me know your thoughts. Some more Mola coming up xx

 **High School Never Ends**

Lola walked into history class late a couple of days later, nearly dropping her books on the way in.

"Ms. Pacini," Perino said, sounding grumpy. "Nice of you to finally join us."

"Sorry, sorry," Lola muttered hurriedly, taking her seat next to Shay.

"You missed the pop quiz," Shay whispered.

" _Crap_ ," Lola said. She still hadn't made up most of her homework either. "God, this is insane." She sighed, exhausted. "How am I supposed to handle this on top of the baby?"

"Well," Shay shrugged, "maybe you could--"

"Ahem!" Perino said, getting annoyed. "Shay, Lola, continue your conversation _after_ class."

Lola smiled up at Perino politely for a second, but then turned back to Shay, ignoring him. "Do you think you could help me with these worksheets?" she said. "I still don't really get the chapter on--"

"Lola!" Perino said, clearly angry now. "For godssakes-- first you come in late, and then I have to ask you _twice_ to be quiet." He sighed loudly, having lost his patience. "Detention after school. And come see me after class."

Lola opened her mouth to protest, but then just slumped back into her seat and sulked. She didn't even bother taking notes on today's lecture, too cranky and tired to even try.

Lola walked up to Perino's desk after class. "You wanted to see me?" she muttered, still grumpy. Hope's teething pains had kept her up for hours last night.

"Um, yeah," Perino said. "I feel like we should discuss-- well, okay, there's no easy way to say this." He sighed, looking over his grading sheet. "Lola, you haven't made up any of your homework and your attendance is sporadic at best. If you don't pass the final, I'm afraid I'm going to have to fail you."

Lola groaned. "You've _got_ to be kidding me," she said, more to herself. "I'm _failing_?"

Perino handed her a slip with her grade on it. 64%-- maybe she could bring it up to a C- if she somehow aced the final. Like _that_ would happen. "I'll need your parents to sign this," Perino said.

"Um," Lola stammered. "Well, I-- I'm kinda staying with Miles' family right now." Maybe she could just forge Mrs. Hollingsworth's signature. Diana would never know, right?

"Whoever your current guardian is, then," Perino said. He sighed, looking a little more sympathetic. "Lola, I know you've obviously been through a lot. But you can't just stop trying in school."

"So everyone keeps telling me," Lola muttered, getting annoyed at everyone's unsolicited advice. What did Perino know about having to care for a baby at seventeen? She almost hated the teachers' sympathetic comments more than their threats of detention. When she returned from winter break last year obviously pregnant, most of her teachers just looked at her sadly, like she was just another walking statistic. Ms. Grell had pulled her aside in the hallway, saying, "if you need to talk..." like it was any of her damn business. And Perino had just tried to steer clear of Lola for the most part, acting like she was some sort of leper. As if her classmates weren't already treating her like a social pariah. After awhile, Lola grew tired of tiptoeing around the everyone and just sort of enjoyed making them feel uncomfortable. When Perino had everyone go around and say what they did over winter break, everyone clearly staring at Lola's newfound baby bump, Lola just patted her stomach and nonchalantly said, "I spent most of my winter break throwing up by the toilet," smiling and daring anyone to say anything.

"Look," Perino said now. "Just do your best to finish your homework and study for the final."

"Yeah," Lola sighed. "I guess." She glanced at her text messages, remembering she needed to pick up more diapers on her way home. "Um, any chance you've changed your mind about that detention?"

Perino just laughed. "No way."

Back at home, Miles sat on the couch using his laptop as Hope slept in his lap. He chuckled a little watching her squirm and make little snoring noises in her sleep-- he wondered what kind of stuff she dreamt about. Baby things, he supposed.

He logged onto his bank account and checked his savings-- good. He still had a lot from the cantina and most of his graduation money from his grandparents. It wasn't quite enough to pay for Lola's Christmas gift, but it could cover at least the first couple months' installments.

He clicked on the jewelry site and started browsing, realizing he knew absolutely nothing about this. Maybe he should call Zoe to ask for help? No, no, wait, he didn't want anyone to know yet. This had to be perfect, the entire thing. After the year she'd had, Lola deserved nothing less than that.

The front door slammed. Miles quickly shut his laptop before anyone could see.

"What, were you watching porn or something?" Hunter laughed, taking a seat in the living room and kicking off his muddy sneakers.

"Please," Lola laughed under her breath, smirking a little and adding, "Like he needs that to satisfy him." She came over and took the baby, who was just starting to wake up. "Has she been fussing much today?"

"Not too bad," Miles shrugged. "Mostly just this morning. Her little gums are just so swollen."

" _Poor baby_!" Lola cooed as Hope started to whimper a little. She glanced over at Hunter. "Can you go get her teething ring?"

Hunter grabbed the teething ring from the freezer and tossed it to Miles, who gave it to Hope.

"Does that feel better, sweetie?" Lola said to the baby. But Hope didn't seem interested in the ring. "You hungry?" Lola said, pulling down her shirt.

"I'll um, I'll see you guys," Hunter muttered hurriedly, turning red and heading towards the stairs. He still found it weird to see Lola's breasts out like that, covered up or not.

Just as she started to nurse, Lola suddenly felt a sharp pain. " _Ow!"_ she cried.

"What?" Miles said urgently. "What's the matter?"

"She _bit_ me," Lola cried. She just sat there for a second, but then she and Miles looked at each other and burst into giggles.

"Another perk of being the father instead of the mother, I guess," Miles muttered, still laughing.

"God, don't even start," Lola said, rolling her eyes. "You're not the one who had to blow up like a pufferfish and shove a baby out of your--"

Mrs. Hollingsworth came into the room just then. "Lola, good to have you home," she said. "How was school today?"

"Um," Lola said quietly as she nursed Hope. "School was... okay."

"You doing alright in your classes?" Mrs. H asked. "Got all your makeup work finished?"

Lola didn't look at her. "Oh, yeah," she said. "Uh-huh. Totally on top of it."

Mrs. H eyed her for a minute, then smiled. "Good," she said. "Glad to hear it." She turned and went upstairs, leaving Miles and Lola alone with the baby.

Miles just stared at Lola for a second. " _What_?" Lola said.

Miles shook his head. "You're an even worse liar than I am."

"I didn't lie to your mom," Lola protested. "I just, um..." She sighed, staring down at the baby. "Miles, what's the point of school anymore?"

"Well, you need your diploma, don't you?" Miles shrugged. "Besides, I thought finishing school was important to you. You always talked about studying fashion or film or--"

"That was last year," Lola said, thinking back on their early oomfchat conversations. "You know, before I found out I was carrying your _baby_ and all."

Miles frowned. "I don't want you to give up on your dreams just because of the baby."

Lola burped Hope and cradled her close to her chest. She thought about the giant stack of homework sitting on her desk, all of the textbooks she hadn't read, all of the papers she still needed to write. She hugged the baby tight and sighed. "Miles," she whispered. "I think I want to drop out of school."


	93. Sometimes You're the Nail

Thoughts on the latest drama? Let me know if you have any flashbacks or future scenes you want to request. Also, note that just because Lola is considering dropping out doesn't mean I support it... we shall see what happens xx

 **Sometimes You're the Nail**

Miles just stared at Lola for a second, trying to fully comprehend what she was saying. "Wha--what?" he stammered. He stared at her in shock and confusion as if she had just announced that she was pregnant again. Or that she was joining the circus. Or in love with Principal Simpson.

"Don't look at me like that," Lola muttered, reminded of her dad's "disappointed" gaze.

Miles shook his head, still at a loss for words. "Lola, I just-- I thought this was working, me and my mom staying at home with the baby during the day while you went to school. I thought you were cool with looking into daycare for next semester. I thought... I thought you still cared about school, and vlogging, and... and trying to have a normal life still--"

"Miles, life hasn't been normal for over a year now," Lola said, a little harsher than she meant to. She looked down at the baby and took a deep breath. "Look, ever since Hope was born... well, ever since I got pregnant with her, really-- my priorities have just _changed_. Nothing seems as important as her. Not even close."

Miles sighed. He knew what Lola meant. At the second doctor's appointment when Lola had her five month ultrasound, when they _really_ saw the baby for the first time, something changed within Miles too. He couldn't quite explain it. All he knew was that when he saw Hope on that ultrasound screen, sucking her thumb and moving her little arms and legs around inside Lola's belly, it really hit him that this was _his_ kid, his responsibility. From that day on, he wanted to do everything he could to protect the baby, to keep her safe and happy and loved. The feeling only got stronger as Hope made Lola grow and grow and he felt all those kicks and hiccups and squirms. And then when she was finally born, finally here and in his arms, he knew his world would never be the same.

He had given up certain things too. He had broken up with Tristan, turned down the London Writer's Academy, and changed almost all of his plans to be with Lola and Hope. But that didn't mean he was just giving up on life, on all of his dreams and goals. If anything, spending time with his daughter had inspired him to go back to school, to work harder, to become someone she could look up to. He didn't want Lola to just throw everything away to be with the baby 24/7. He wanted more for her-- and their family-- than that.

"Well, I'm sorry," he said, crossing his arms, "but I don't like the choice you're making."

Lola just shook her head. "I didn't ask you to like it," she said. "But it's _my_ choice, Miles." She sighed and pulled the baby closer, cradling her against her chest. "Look. Everyone already thinks I'm crazy for doing this whole thing in the first place, for walking around town pregnant and deciding to keep her, and moving out of my parents'..." She took a deep breath. "But I don't care what anyone thinks. I just want to be with Hope."

Miles paused for a second. "Is this about your mom?" he said quietly. "Do you think that if you don't spend every second with Hope, if you don't devote every minute of your time to her or something, you'll be just like your mother?"

"Don't try and _psychoanalyze_ me," Lola snapped. Okay, maybe she was a _little_ afraid of ending up like her mom. But still. What did Miles know about Victoria?

"I can't support you dropping out," Miles said, his tone short. "I'm sorry, Lo. I don't agree." His voice grew more and more heated as he talked, "Do you know how much you're throwing away, how much you're giving up, what kind of example you're setting for--"

"You don't know what it's _like_!" Lola said, suddenly shouting without even meaning to. Her cheeks turned red and her eyes started to feel watery. " _Okay_? You don't know how it feels to have everyone staring at you and whispering about you all the time, to have to take midterms with a baby kicking your ribs, to get glares every time you're out in public. You don't know what it's like to get called a slut all the time, to _still_ be known as "that girl who got knocked up," to--"

"Hey, don't act like it wasn't hard for me too!" Miles shouted back, getting angry. "Don't act like you didn't change my life _forever_ the day you just casually walked up and told me you were--" He went quiet suddenly, noticing Lola was crying. He clutched his forehead, letting out a long sigh. "Lo," he whispered, his voice gentler now.

Lola wiped her eyes, sniffling and not looking at him. She rubbed Hope's back as she started to whimper.

Miles sighed again. "Lola, I didn't mean--"

"No, it's-- it's true," Lola said, still crying a little. "You gave up just as much as I did." She rocked Hope back and forth. "But still. I just can't bring myself to care about school anymore. Not when we've got this little baby to take care of." She sighed. "Besides," she said quietly. "I'm too stupid to get into uni anyway."

Miles stared at her. "Why do you say stuff like that?"

"Well it's true, isn't it?" Lola shrugged. "I'm behind on everything in school. I got pregnant at sixteen because I took my birth control wrong. And I barely even got passing grades last year."

Miles frowned. "Lola, you're not stupid," he said, putting his arm around her. "Not even close. You're amazing with the baby. Your makeup tutorials are awesome. You were brilliant in last year's play. And you... you always understood me better than anyone ever did." He squeezed her hand. "I just don't want you to give up on school."

Lola leaned into his shoulder, watching as the baby sucked her thumb and made little cooing noises. "We'll see," she whispered. "We'll see."


	94. All I Want For Christmas Is You

Thanks again for your reviews; please keep your comments coming! Sorry if this chapter is a bit fillerish; I felt we needed a lighter one after last chapter's drama. On a side note, is anyone else going a little crazy going this long without new Degrassi episodes?

 **All I Want For Christmas Is You**

Miles stood by the window early the next morning, holding the baby up so she could see the fresh white blanket covering the yard. "Look, Hope," he smiled. "It's _snowing_!"

Hope sucked on her pacifier and waved her little fingers around, clinging to Miles closely. Even though she still cried whenever Lola left, she had grown pretty attached to her dad too.

"Aww, my two babies," Lola said, watching from the hallway. She came over and took Hope from Miles, cradling the baby closely. "Listen," she said quietly to him. "I'm sorry about our fight yesterday."

"Yeah, I'm sorry too," Miles said. He sighed, glancing back and forth between Lola and Hope. "Look, I understand if you want to wait a little while for university or want to cut back on some coursework, but..." He shook his head and took a deep breath. "I just don't want you to drop out of Degrassi."

Lola didn't look at him. "I promise I'll at least finish this semester," she said. There was only a week left until Christmas break anyway. "We'll just... have to see after the holidays," she said, glancing at the baby.

Miles looked at her hesitantly, not completely satisfied with that answer. "Fine," he mumbled.

Lola settled into the rocking chair and rubbed Hope's back, cooing to her in Spanish. Hope nuzzled against Lola's chest, making happy little baby sighs as she sucked on her pacifier.

Miles smiled watching the two of them. "Well, she sure does love cuddling with you," he chuckled.

Lola smiled down at the baby. "I think she likes the sound of my heartbeat," she said. "Makes sense-- I mean, that was all she listened to for nine months." She gently ran her fingers through Hope's curly little hair. "Well. That and _5 Seconds of Summer_." She cleared her throat. "Hey, um," she said to Miles, "could we drop by my dad's Cantina today?"

Miles looked at her quizzically. "Um, yeah, I guess," he muttered, surprised. "What for?"

"I want to give him his Christmas present," Lola said. She looked down sadly. "Just because I moved out doesn't mean I stopped caring about him."

Miles thought of his own father sitting in an orange jumpsuit in a corner behind cold metal bars. It bothered him a little to think about his dad being all alone on Christmas. But he just couldn't forgive him for all he'd done, for all he'd put the family through. "Okay, yeah, sure, I'll drive you," he said to Lola. "What did you get him?"

Lola rocked Hope back and forth, swaying the chair steadily. "A new Argentinian recipe book," she said. "You kinda made a good point last year-- if the place is Argentinian, we should at least sell _some_ Argentinian food." She pulled the baby closer. "Oh. And a framed picture of Hope for him to keep on his desk."

Miles nodded. "What should we get Hope for Christmas?"

Lola covered the baby's ears. "Shh!" she whispered. "You'll spoil Santa for her!"

Miles rolled his eyes, laughing a little. "Come on, Lo," he said. "We're not really going to lie and tell her that some fat old man comes down the chimney, are we?"

"Why not?" Lola frowned. "I believed in him until I was like, twelve."

"That's a little old for that, isn't it?" Miles chuckled.

Lola shot him a look. "Well, _I_ want to teach our baby about Santa," she said stubbornly. She stroked Hope's little chin, cooing something to her in Spanish again.

"Well, I don't think we have to worry about that for another year at least," Miles said. "She's still too little."

"Yeah, but it's her _first Christmas_ ," Lola said. She smiled at the baby. "I want it to be perfect."

"And our first Christmas as a couple," Miles smiled.

"Yeah," Lola said. "Sure beats last Christmas when I was fat and throwing up all morning." She kissed Hope's forehead, adding, "Don't worry baby, you were worth it."

Miles thought back to last December, just before winter break. He and Lola weren't dating back then and things were still kind of tense, but they at least talked a lot still:

 _Miles came up to Lola after rehearsal, when Grace and Jonah and Rasha had safely left. Nobody knew about the baby yet back then._

 _"Hey," he said, handing her a little wrapped present. "This is for you." He smiled sheepishly. Even back then, Lola was the only one who could get him to blush like that._

 _Lola smiled back at him. It was the first time in a long time that Miles had seen her look happy. "Aww, Miles, you shouldn't have," she said._

 _"Go on, then," Miles said, nodding at the present. "Open it."_

 _Lola unwrapped the present, tearing through it messily like a little kid on Christmas morning. Her cheeks turned a rosy pink when she saw the present: a book of baby names. "Thank you," she whispered. She leaned in and hugged him, just clinging to his chest for a minute. "It's still so crazy to think, you know?" she said quietly, looking down at her stomach and placing her hand on it. "That we're really having a baby."_

 _"Yeah," Miles agreed, staring at Lola's very small bump. It was hard to believe there was a tiny life growing inside her that was half-him._

 _"Oh, um, I got you something too," Lola said suddenly. She reached into her backpack and handed Miles a little notebook. It wasn't wrapped or anything, but on the front there was a gift tag that said, "from your Hope."_

 _Miles grinned. "Thanks, Lo."_

 _"I thought you could use it, you know, for your stories," Lola said, still blushing a little._

 _"I will," Miles smiled. "Definitely will."_


	95. I Can Hear the Bells

I don't know about you guys, but I'm so invested in Mola's little family now that I forget they didn't actually keep the baby on the show lol. Things are about to get pretty intense again soon xx

 **I Can Hear the Bells**

Lola and Miles walked around the mall that weekend with Hope, shopping for Christmas gifts. "Well, that takes care of Hunter," Miles said as they left the video game store. "What should I get Frankie?"

"Let _me_ handle that one," Lola smiled, walking towards the nearest clothing boutique with Hope. The baby was lying down in her stroller all cozied up in her blanket, cooing softly and just taking in her surroundings. Lola had been a little nervous about bringing her to the mall-- Hope had never really been in such a crowded environment before. But it was, as they said, the "most wonderful time of the year." Christmas carols were playing, decorations were up, lights and snow and Christmas trees were everywhere... Lola wanted Hope to experience all of it.

"Actually," Miles said, "why don't you let me take Hope and we can meet at the food court in about 30 minutes?"

"Ooh, running a secret errand?" Lola giggled. She passed the stroller over to Miles. "Okay, boo," she said, standing on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. "See you in a little bit, baby," she sighed, holding onto Hope's tiny fingers. Even if it was just for a few minutes, Lola still hated being apart from her.

"Bahhh bahhh," Hope cooed. Lola and Miles both laughed-- she sounded like a little miniature goat when she babbled like that.

Miles waited until Lola had gone inside the clothing boutique and then pushed the stroller towards the jewelry store. He was nervous even just walking in the store. He knew absolutely nothing about this, nothing at all.

It wasn't a decision he made overnight-- it was something that had been in the back of his mind from the moment Lola told him she was pregnant last year. But this was different now. He wasn't doing this just because they had a baby together-- he was doing it because he loved her in a way he'd never loved anyone else. Maybe in his past relationships he'd always been a little uncertain, a little reckless. But with Lola, he just _knew_ he wanted to be with her for the long haul. He knew they were still young and that people would say they were too young and inexperienced to even be considering this. But Miles didn't care what anyone else thought. He only hoped Lola would feel the same way.

He started browsing, trying to figure out what style Lola would like. It had to be perfect, especially for a fashion expert like her. Not too flashy or too small-- just meaningful.

Hope started to whine, waving her little arms around. "You want out?" Miles chuckled. "Okay," he said, lifting Hope from the stroller and carrying her. "You can help Daddy look."

"Can I help you with something?" a middle-aged guy in a stiff-looking suit asked him.

"Um, yeah, actually," Miles said, suddenly a little nervous. "I was hoping you could help me find... um, an engagement ring?"

The salesman glanced at Hope, who was trying to reach for the jewelry on the counter. Miles shifted her to his other shoulder so she couldn't grab anything. "Let me see what I can find for you," the salesman said, unlocking the counter. "Did you have a particular style in mind? A specific cut or color of diamond? A certain number of karats?"

"Um," Miles stammered. Shit-- he never knew this could be so complicated. He wished he had Zoe or Frankie or someone here to help. "Well, I want something nice," Miles said. "But I'm on a bit of a budget."

The salesman nodded, then reached into the case and laid several diamond rings on the counter. "Any of these tickle your fancy?"

"Eee!" Hope smiled suddenly, reaching towards one of the rings. Miles grabbed her little hand to stop her, then paused. The ring Hope was reaching for was beautiful. Sapphire-- Lola's birthstone. It was perfect.

"How much is that one?" Miles asked.

"Well," the salesman said, "with tax, it's--"

Miles' jaw nearly dropped at the price. Suddenly, he missed the days when he was known as Moneybags or Richie Richest. But, well, he had quite a bit of savings in his account. And he'd probably be getting a fair amount of money from his grandparents for Christmas like usual. Miles glanced at Hope, whose little eyes were still fascinated by the ring. He took a deep breath, then smiled. "Do you take installment payments?"

On his way out of the store, Miles bumped into someone. "Tris," he muttered, his cheeks turning red. Even though they were technically on okay terms now, it was still awkward to run into each other in public like this.

"Well, hi to you too," Tristan said, raising his eyebrows. His eyes shifted to Hope, who was leaning into Miles and sucking her thumb. Tristan always looked uncomfortable around the baby. He had barely even glanced at her at the Thanksgiving feast, as if he couldn't believe she was real.

Miles felt his palms start to get sweaty. "So," he said. "What uh, brings you in here?"

Tristan was still looking at Hope. "Just shopping for my mom," he said. "She still asks about you, you know."

Miles shrugged awkwardly. He and Mrs. Milligan had always gotten along, but he kind of assumed she would hate him now, considering the reason he and Tristan broke up.

Tristan cleared his throat. "Anyway," he said, shifting his eyes back up at Miles. "Did I overhear correctly? Is _Miles Hollingsworth_ really _engaged_?"

Miles turned scarlet red. He hadn't told anyone about his plans to propose to Lola yet, not even the twins or Winston. "Um," he said, "keep that on the down-low, okay? I haven't even asked her yet."

Tristan just shook his head, flashing that smile he always did when he heard a juicy piece of gossip. "Never pegged you as the kind of guy who would settle down so young," he said. He glanced at Hope again. "Then again..."

"Look, Tris, just don't tell anyone, okay?" Miles pleaded. It wasn't like he was embarrassed of Lola, not even close. But he didn't want Lola to hear his plans from other people before he'd even gotten the chance to ask her. He wasn't sure how his mother or Frankie would react either.

"Don't worry," Tristan smiled, laughing a little under his breath. "I mean, it's not like Lola is even going to say yes. She's only seventeen, right?"

"Lola and I love each other," Miles snapped, instinctively pulling Hope closer. "I'm _happy_ with our little family, okay? So is she."

Tristan rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he mumbled, pushing past Miles. He looked back at Hope and scoffed. "I can't believe you cheated on me just to make that."

"Hey!" Miles yelled. "Don't you say a word about--"

"Ahem," the salesperson interrupted, looking irritated. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." He crossed his arms at Miles and gestured toward the door.

"Fine," Miles muttered. He glanced back before opening the door. "I'll be sure to send you a wedding invitation, Tris."

Miles put Hope back in her stroller and walked towards the food court, still a bit heated. It wasn't Tristan's sassy remarks that bothered him so much-- he had kind of grown used to those. It was the fact that Tristan might be _right_. What if Lola _did_ say no? What if she thought he was crazy for proposing? He wasn't even sure how he was going to ask her yet. He felt way in over his head suddenly, his stomach aching with nervousness.

Just then, Miles spotted his brother sitting at a table by the pizza stand, texting on his cell and looking kind of fidgety. "Hunter," Miles grinned, pulling up a chair. "Fancy meeting you here."

Hunter looked up from his phone. "Can you scram?" he said. "It's not a good time."

"What, are you like, on a _date_?" Miles laughed.

Hunter just glared at him. "Actually, I am," he said. "And she'll be back from the restroom any minute now, so _go_."

"Little Hunter's finally getting some action!" Miles said, patting him on the back. "So, who's the girl?"

Hunter didn't look at him. "None of your business."

"What, is it a guy?" Miles said, still grinning. "Don't worry-- our family's pretty open-minded."

"Geez, _no_ , it's not a guy!" Hunter said. "Look. Just get out of here. I'll see you at home."

Miles got up from his chair, shaking his head laughing. "Use condoms," he added.

Hunter rolled his eyes. "I could say the same to you," he said, glancing at the stroller.


	96. Deck the Halls

Glad people are excited about Mola's upcoming storyline! Man, I wish there were more "Lola keeps the baby" fics out there, I've only seen a couple besides mine. This chapter is a bit lighter, includes a Lola/Frankie/Shay flashback because I really love writing their dynamic xx

 **Deck the Halls**

Lola scurried around the Hollingsworth house putting locks on every cabinet, picking any choking hazards off the floor, and hiding all of Hunter's electronics cords behind furniture.

Mrs. Hollingsworth came into the living room, nearly tripping over the baby gate. "Lola, I--" She caught her balance at the last second, gasping. "God, someone is going to trip and break their neck over this thing!"

"Oh no-- I'm sorry!" Lola cried frantically. She was carrying Hope in her sling, making her look like she was nine months pregnant again. "I... I needed to babyproof the place. I read that stuff like extension cords can be a _death trap_ to babies."

"Hope isn't crawling yet, though," Mrs. Hollingsworth reminded her. "Probably won't be for another month or two."

"I know," Lola sighed, rubbing Hope's back. "But I just want to be extra safe, you know?" She glanced around at all the baby gates, safety plugs, and locks, realizing she'd gone a little overboard. "I'm sorry," Lola said. "I didn't mean to ruin the downstairs."

Mrs. H just shook her head, smiling a little. At least Lola was protective of the baby, even if she could be a bit dramatic. "It's alright, Lola," she assured her, taking a seat on the couch. She sighed. "But I need to talk to you about something."

Lola joined her on the couch, taking Hope out from her sling and cradling her in her lap. "Is this about the other night?" Lola said nervously. "I know Miles and I were being um, a little loud, but--"

"Uh, no," Mrs. H interrupted, wanting to cut her off right there. Even though the baby was proof of Miles and Lola's sex life, she still didn't want to think about the details. "We'll um-- we can discuss _that_ later." She took a deep breath. "Lola, I got a phone call from Principal Simpson today. He said you forged my signature on some kind of failing notice."

Lola's face turned pale. "Oh," she gulped quietly. "That." _Dammit._ Frankie had _promised_ she knew how to do Diana's signature perfectly.

"Lola, I'm not mad," Mrs. H said calmly. "I'm not exactly thrilled that you forged my name, but I'm more just... concerned." She sighed. "Why are you failing history?"

Lola kept her eyes fixated on Hope, not wanting to have to look at Mrs. H. Disappointment, in Lola's opinion, was always worse than being in trouble. "Um," she said hesitantly. "I guess I'm just um... bad at history?" She shrugged, trying to force a weak smile.

Mrs. H raised her eyebrows, unconvinced. "Or could it be the fact that you haven't turned in any of your homework?"

Lola's cheeks turned bright red now. "Look, I just..." She took a deep breath, finally making eye contact. "Ever since I had the baby, I just can't focus on school."

Mrs. H sighed. "Believe it or not, I understand where you're coming from," she said. "I was in the middle of getting my master's degree when I got pregnant with the twins. Miles was only... well, he was around Hope's age, maybe a couple months older. We'd always wanted more kids, but I didn't plan on having them so close together."

Lola just sat there, letting all that information sink in. Wait, so did that mean Frankie and Hunter were accidents? She'd always figured their parents just wanted the kids to be close in age or something. "So what did you do?" Lola asked.

"Well, I never did get my degree," Mrs. H said. "Once we found it was _twins_ , I knew I wouldn't have time for school _and_ three little ones. So I just kind of put my goals on hold." She paused, sitting up straight and adding, "Of course, I was much older than you."

"I just don't want to miss anything important with Hope," Lola said. "Miles told me she sat up by herself for the first time yesterday. What if I miss the first time she crawls? Or walks? Or what if she gets hurt again?"

"Lola, you can't hover over her 24/7," Mrs. H said. "It's just not possible." She smiled at the baby, taking her into her arms.

Just then, Hunter came in. "I'm home!" he shouted. He nearly tripped over the baby gate too. "What the hell--"

"Sorry, I'll uh-- I'll fix that," Lola said. She glanced at his neck, noticing the large purple mark on it. "Ooh, who gave you _that_?" she giggled.

Hunter pulled his hoodie up to hide the mark. "What?" he said, his cheeks red as he looked at the floor. "No one."

"Not so fast," Mrs. H piped up. "Miles tells me you've found a new girlfriend. Who is it?"

" _No one_ ," Hunter insisted. "God, she's not my _girlfriend."_

Well, you've certainly been spending a lot of time with her," Mrs. H said. "What's her name?" When Hunter didn't answer, she said, "Ooh! I know! You can invite her to Christmas dinner next week."

Hunter scowled. "No thanks."

"Hunter Thomas Hollingsworth, I want to meet this girl!" Mrs. H said. "Invite her to dinner. Or else I'll just have to search for her on Hastygram..."

"Geez, _fine_ ," Hunter mumbled. He put his bag down and stomped up the stairs, muttering about how nobody in this family could mind their own business.

Once he was gone, Mrs. H and Lola looked at each other and started laughing. Hope joined in, imitating their giggles.

"She's like a parakeet sometimes," Lola laughed, taking the baby back.

"Miles used to imitate sounds like that all the time," Mrs. H said, smiling a little.

Lola smiled back. "I just can't believe she's almost six months old," she said, rubbing Hope's back. She thought back to last year's Christmas break, when she spent most afternoons avoiding her dad and shopping online for maternity clothes with Frankie and Shay:

 _"Ugh, that style's so ugly," Lola scoffed. "I can't believe I can't fit into my dresses anymore."_

 _"Lo, slow down," Shay said, looking at the half-finished package of Christmas cookies Lola had already gone through. "You've eaten, like, ten of those cookies."_

 _"So has Frankie!" Lola pointed out, laughing as she turned to Frankie. "I'm pregnant-- what's_ your _excuse?"_

 _Frankie shook her head, grabbing another cookie. "Still can't believe you're really having my brother's baby."_

 _"I can't believe I'm already this_ fat _," Lola frowned, staring at her baby bump. She took another cookie. "Did you guys know Baby Hollingsworth already has hair, eyelashes, and nails?"_

 _"Is that what you're calling it?" Frankie laughed. "Baby Hollingsworth?"_

 _Lola shrugged. "Just until Miles and I can agree on a name."_

Miles came into the living room now, carrying the Christmas tree. "Baby, watch out!" Lola cried, looking at the baby gate frantically.

But it was too late. Miles tripped over the gate and the Christmas tree went flying, landing on top of him. "Miles!" Lola cried, getting up to go help him. "Are you _okay_?"

Miles slowly got up. "Yeah," he grunted, straightening out his back. He stared at the baby gate. "God, I thought those things were supposed to make the house _safer_ , not _more_ dangerous."

Hope giggled. Miles shook his head, smiling. "Glad that was funny for _you_ ," he muttered to the baby.

Mrs. H and Miles straightened the Christmas tree out and got all the boxes of ornaments from the garage. "See that, Hope?" Lola smiled, holding the baby near the tree while Miles hung the ornaments up. "This is our Christmas tree."

"You wanna do the honors, Lo?" Miles asked, holding out the golden star ornament that always went on the top of the Hollingsworth tree.

"It's like seven feet tall," Lola laughed, handing the baby to Mrs. H. "How could I possibly reach--"

"Like this," Miles grinned. He picked Lola up and put her on his shoulders. She placed the star on the very top of the tree.

Lola took the baby back, smiling. "What do you think, baby?" she said, turning Hope's attention back to the tree.

"Eee!" Hope squealed, clapping her little hands.

Lola turned to Miles and smiled. "I think this will be the best Christmas yet."


	97. New Traditions

Glad the last couple of chapters got so many reactions-- always love waking up to a bunch of reviews! In regards to Tristan's actions in chapter 95, I personally didn't feel his remarks were too OOC since he's been shown to be pretty rude when he's upset (i.e. to Maya, Miles, Zoe, on the show). As for the engagement business, just remember that no plot point is ever completely set in stone... in other words, just keep reading and you'll see what happens ;) On another note, how do you guys feel about flashbacks? I like them but don't want to go overboard xx

 **New Traditions**

Lola stood in the Hollingsworth kitchen after finals one evening, setting Hope up in her new high chair. She piled at least three bibs on the baby, fussing over her.

"Geez," Frankie laughed, looking up from her fashion magazine. "What, are you taking her to a spaghetti buffet?"

Lola shook her head, smiling a little. "I think she's old enough to try some solid food." She opened the jar of baby cereal and scooped a tiny bit onto a small spoon. "Come on, baby," she cooed, trying to get Hope to open her mouth. "Here comes the choo-choo train!"

Hope refused to open her mouth, dodging the spoon. "Please, Hope?" Lola sighed, trying again. "Do it for Mama?"

Hope fussed some more for a minute, then finally reluctantly opened her tiny mouth a little bit. " _That's my girl_ ," Lola cooed, putting the spoonful in Hope's mouth. She slowly took the spoon away, watching as Hope chewed.

Lola turned to Frankie. " _There!"_ Lola said, smiling. "I think she finally--"

Suddenly, Hope spit up, baby cereal and spit landing all over Lola. "--got it," Lola sighed, her face covered in gunk. Frankie couldn't help but laugh.

Hope started to cry, apparently not a fan of her high chair. Lola lifted her out, rocking her back and forth and groaning. Spoon feeding a baby had looked so much easier in those YouTube videos.

"Hey, don't worry," Frankie chuckled, closing her magazine. "I'm sure she'll get there."

Lola sighed. "It's not just that," she said. She looked sad all of a sudden. "It's also... this is the first Christmas I'm spending without my dad."

"Uh, ditto," Frankie muttered.

Lola winced, realizing how insensitive she must have sounded. Sometimes Lola forgot their dad was really in prison-- Miles didn't really talk about it. She'd been so focused on the baby and her relationship that she hadn't even asked Frankie how she was doing. She didn't want to be like past BFFs Frankie talked about, the ones who used her to get close to Miles and then ditched her. "Are you okay?" Lola asked her. "I'm sorry-- I know we haven't really talked much lately."

Frankie shrugged. "I guess I'm alright," she said. "It's just weird, you know?" She glanced over at Hope, who had finally stopped crying. "But I'm glad you and the baby are staying with us."

Lola smiled a little. "Yeah," she said, bouncing Hope against her shoulder. "Me too."

Frankie was quiet for a minute. "So," she said, smirking. "Who do you think Hunter's mystery chick is?"

"Are we even sure she's a real girl?" Lola laughed. "Maybe this is another one of those Realm of Doom romances."

"Nah," Frankie said, taking a sip of her ice tea. "Miles swears he saw him on a date." She paused. "Speaking of, have you noticed Miles acting kinda weird lately?"

Lola stared at her. "Weird how?"

"I don't know," Frankie shrugged. "He's acting all quiet and secretive... like he's hiding something."

Lola felt a pit in her stomach. "You don't think he could be using again, do you?"

Frankie shook her head. "I really doubt that," she said. She looked over at Hope. "Once you told him about the baby, he really tried to get his act together."

"Except that one time he showed up to school high from Esme's pills and blabbed to the entire school about the pregnancy," Lola muttered.

"Esme," Frankie repeated under her breath like it was some foreign word. "God, I wonder what _she's_ up to nowadays. Whose life she's trying to ruin next..." She laughed and took another sip of her drink.

"I don't know," Lola shrugged, rubbing Hope's back. "Esme's not that bad."

Just then, Mrs. Hollingsworth came in carrying groceries. She looked frazzled as she turned to Frankie. "I just got off the phone," she said, groaning a little. "Guess who's coming over for Christmas."

"Who?" Frankie asked.

"Your _grandparents_ ," Mrs. H sighed. "From your father's side."

"Oh, yay!" Frankie cheered, clapping like a little kid. Hope babbled along happily, like she understood the conversation.

"You uh, don't look happy," Lola said hesitantly to Mrs. H.

"Well, it's just-- it's just awkward, given the prison situation," Mrs. H sighed. "They don't know that Mr. Hollingsworth and I were separated before the arrest." She glanced at Hope. "Um, they also don't know about..." She went quiet all of a sudden as she looked at the baby.

"...oh," Lola gulped quietly, holding Hope close.

"I need a glass of wine," Mrs. H muttered, rummaging through the cabinets.

"Don't worry, Lo," Frankie said. "They're pretty cool... they're not gonna flip about the baby like my dad did."

"Dammit, Frankie," Mrs. H said, "where all the wine glasses?"

"How should I know?" Frankie scoffed. "If anyone took them, it's Mil--" She stopped, seeing Lola's expression.

Lola glanced at her watch, then headed towards the stairs with Hope. It was around Hope's bedtime, meaning there was less than 48 hours until Christmas. " _Santa Claus is coming... to town..."_ she sang to the baby as she carried her up the stairs.


	98. Whispers in the Night

Thank you for your reviews! I feel like my writing has definitely gotten better since Hope was born; seems to have more of a regular audience now too, which is awesome!

 **Whispers in the Night**

Miles sat next to Lola and Frankie on the couch watching _Elf_ on the evening of Christmas Eve. Lola was sitting between him and Frankie, cradling a sleepy Hope in her lap and trying to explain the movie to her.

"See, Hope?" Lola cooed. "Buddy was raised by Santa, so he _thinks_ he's an Elf, but really he's just a silly human."

Hope yawned, stretching her little legs and clinging onto Lola. "I think she's getting tired, Lo," Miles said, feeling sleepy himself.

"Oh, but it's just getting good!" Lola cried.

Miles frowned. "Am I the only one who doesn't find Will Ferrell that funny?"

"You don't think _anything's_ funny," Frankie muttered, munching on popcorn. "Anyway, why are you acting so weird?"

"I'm not acting weird!" Miles insisted.

"Your hands are shaking," Frankie pointed out.

Lola glanced at Miles worriedly. She hadn't seen his hands tremble like that since... well, since he was on drugs. She felt that pit in her stomach again. "Are you okay, baby?" she said quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm _fine_ ," Miles said, getting annoyed. He had been helping his mother cook and clean all day and just wanted to go to bed. But truthfully, he was really nervous. He had been holding onto the ring for weeks now-- he wanted to just finally get down on one knee and ask Lola already. But he had no idea where or how to do it, and he had absolutely no clue how she would react. He kept having recurring dreams of her saying no, of her calling him crazy for even _asking._ He could only hope the real thing would turn out better.

"I'm going to bed," he said, getting off the couch. "I'll see you in the morning."

Lola watched Miles go upstairs, then turned to Frankie. "Did you see that?" she said. "He didn't even kiss me goodnight."

Frankie shrugged. "Maybe he's really just tired?" She turned the volume down on the TV. "Look, don't worry Lo. Miles just gets weird sometimes-- he's Miles."

Hope started to fuss. "Maybe I should take her upstairs," Lola sighed.

"And leave me to finish _Elf_ all by myself?" Frankie cried. "Come on. Just a few more minutes?" She looked at Lola with those puppy dog eyes she always used to get her way.

" _Fiiiine_ ," Lola said, rocking the baby back and forth. She leaned into Frankie, resting her head on her shoulder. It had been awhile since they had just hung out like this with no boys.

"Do you remember when you made us watch this last Easter?" Frankie laughed. "Shay and I couldn't find the Charlie Brown DVD, so you insisted we watch _Elf_ , even though it was April."

"Oh god," Lola giggled. "I was _really_ pregnant back then. Like, I couldn't even see the TV over my belly."

"Yeah, and you kept eating all of me and Shay's Easter candy," Frankie reminded her. "I remember I called you out on it and you started lecturing me about how you were eating for two. And then when we got to the scene where Santa's sleigh crashed, you just started _sobbing."_

Lola shook her head laughing. "And then my dad came in," she added. "Do you remember the look on his face when he saw all the candy wrappers scattered all over the couch?"

Frankie giggled back for a second, but then went quiet. "I miss my dad, Lo," she said softly.

Lola sighed. "I miss mine too," she admitted. She squeezed Frankie's hand. "But at least we have each other, right?"

"Abba wahh," Hope babbled, smiling at Frankie.

Frankie smiled again, wiping her eyes. "Yeah," she whispered, leaning into Lola. "At least we do."

Meanwhile upstairs, Miles sat on his bed staring at the engagement ring. _Lola, will you marry me.., Lola, will you do me the honor of..., Lola, what do you say we--_

Nothing Miles rehearsed in his head seemed good enough. Maybe Tristan was right, he sighed. Maybe this was a stupid idea.

There was a knock at the door. "Miles? Are you awake?" he heard Lola say.

"Uhh," Miles stammered, still holding the engagement ring. "Don't come in here!"

"Why?" Lola said, her voice a little quieter now. "Are you wrapping presents?"

Miles sighed. "Something like that," he called back.

Lola turned away from the door and went into the nursery to put Hope down in her crib. She felt sick all of a sudden. Miles was acting distant, he was shaky and nervous around her, he wouldn't let her in his room... he _had_ to be using again. Oh god, she was going to have to stage an intervention. Or call Ms. Grell. Or check him into rehab.

She tucked Hope in and kissed her goodnight, still feeling shaky herself. "Goodnight, my angel," she whispered. She tried to smile. "When you wake up, Santa will be here with all of your presents."

"Bahh baaa," Hope cooed back, waving her little fingers around. Lola gave her another kiss, then went to lie down.

Lola didn't sleep much that night. She was worried about meeting the Hollingsworth grandparents, about spending her first Christmas without her family, and most importantly, about Miles. After lots of tossing and turning, she finally gave up and went downstairs to watch some TV to take her mind off things.

When she got downstairs though, Miles was already sitting by the Christmas tree looking at all the presents. "What are you doing up?" she cried. It wasn't even 5 a.m.

"Couldn't sleep," Miles shrugged. He glanced up and down at her, noticing her reindeer pajamas. "What are _you_ doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep either," Lola said. She sighed. "Look Miles, I know you've been hiding something from me."

Miles just stared at her. "Oh?" he said. "And what's that?"

"I-- I know what it is," Lola said, her hands trembling as she approached him. "I'm not mad, I just--"

"Mad?" Miles said, confused. "Mad about what?"

"I know you're using drugs again," Lola blurted out. "I mean, you've been acting so weird and secretive and I noticed how nervous you are and--"

Miles started laughing all of a sudden. "Lo," he said, shaking his head. "I'm _not_ on drugs."

"You don't have to lie to me," Lola sighed, not looking at him. "You can tell me that--"

Miles just shook his head at her and smiled. "You wanna know why I've been freaking out?" he said. He stared into her eyes, thinking back to their year together, from their first conversation in the hallway to waking up in bed together to the day the baby was born. _You were my hope_ , he remembered saying to her. He loved her more than anything, more than he ever thought possible. And he wanted her to know that. Slowly, he got down on one knee. "Lo," he whispered, reaching into his pocket to pull out the ring. "Will you marry me?"


	99. Christmas, Part 1

Hahaha I know I'm mean for leaving a cliff-hanger like that, but what can I say... I learned from Degrassi xD if you're not super into the marriage plot, don't worry, that's by no means going to be the sole focus of the story... plus, there's always twists... xx

 **Christmas, Part 1**

Lola just stared at Miles in shock for a minute, standing completely still as if her body was frozen. Finally, she spoke up. " _M_ - _marry_ you?" she whispered, her voice trembling. "You're... you're _proposing_ to me?"

Miles looked up at her nervously, still on one knee. This wasn't exactly the response he was hoping for. "Um... yeah," he said quietly. "I... I love you, Lola. I want to be with you forever."

Lola still looked shocked. "Well, I love you too." She took a deep breath. "But... why _now_? I mean... I'm 17, I'm still in high school... and we're still adjusting to the baby and--"

Miles closed the engagement ring box. "So you're saying no."

Lola pressed her hand to her forehead. "I... I don't know, Miles," she said. "I _love_ you. You know that. I just wasn't expecting--"

Miles got up. "It's fine," he said, not looking at her. "I get it. I jumped the gun."

Lola sighed. "Miles, I don't mean--"

Miles gave her a small smile, but his eyes looked sad. "It's cool, Lo," he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Merry Christmas." He turned and walked upstairs, still carrying the ring in his hand.

Lola sank into the couch, burying her face in her hands. She loved Miles. She did. But marriage was so... _permanent_. If she thought about it, she did want to spend the rest of her life with him together, raising Hope, maybe even a couple more kids once they were older. But if this past year had taught her anything, it was that you could never fully count on anyone. She'd depended on her mom, and she still left. She'd trusted Tiny not to break her heart, and he still did. And deep in the back of her mind, she always wondered if Miles would even still be with her if it weren't for the baby. After all, he had chosen Tristan initially-- pretty much dropped her like a hot potato once he woke up. Sure, he came around once she told him she was pregnant, but... how could she be certain he was _really_ in it for the long haul this time?

Lola tried to go back to bed for a few hours, dozing on and off. She was too restless. Around 8 a.m. though, she woke up to Frankie pouncing on her bed, yelling, "Wake up, Lo! It's _Christmas_!"

Lola waved her away. "Ughh, go away," she muttered grumpily, pushing Frankie off. "Let me sleep."

Frankie yanked the covers off Lola. "No _way_!" she insisted. "Everyone else is already downstairs waiting. Besides, don't you want to watch Hope open her presents?"

Lola groaned into her pillow. " _Fine_ ," she said.

"Geez, what's got you in a bad mood?" Frankie asked.

"Nothing," Lola muttered, finally getting out of bed. She put her slippers on and followed Frankie down the stairs where the rest of the family was waiting.

Hope was sitting in Mrs. H's lap, wearing a tiny little Santa hat. Hope perked up when Lola came in the room. "Maaa," she cooed, smiling.

Lola's face suddenly broke into a smile. "Did you _just_ \--?"

"They still don't really understand what they're saying at this age," Mrs. H explained gently. "But still. That's great progress."

Lola sat down on the couch in between Miles and his mom, taking the baby into her lap. "Come here, my little elf," she giggled, cuddling Hope. She took a deep breath and turned to Miles. "Hi," she said quietly.

Miles smiled, but didn't look at her. "Hi."

They all unwrapped presents, opening the baby's first. Frankie got Hope a new blanket and Mrs. H spoiled her with some new blocks, stuffed animals, clothes, and even a bouncy chair. Lola got the baby two new outfits and Miles gave her a picture book that he wrote himself-- Hunter did the illustrations. It was called _My Hope._

Miles scooped Hope in his lap and read the story aloud to her, "And when the daddy held the baby for the first time, he knew that he would love her forever." He glanced over at Lola as he read the last line. They locked eyes for a moment.

"Eee!" Hope cried, smiling and clapping her little hands.

After that, the rest of them opened their presents. Mrs. H even bought Lola some gifts. The clothes she picked out probably went out of style decades ago, but Lola was just happy to be included. For the first time, she was actually starting to feel like a real member of the family.

Late that afternoon, the doorbell rang. "Oh! Grandma and Grandpa must be here!" Frankie said.

Mrs. H glanced over at Lola and Hope, looking nervous suddenly. "Um, Lola," she said quietly, her face pale. "I was thinking... maybe now would be a good time to put Hope down for her nap?"

Miles looked at his mom. "You want to hide her, don't you?" He sighed, shaking his head. "The baby?"

Mrs. H pursed her lips, her hands shaky. "No, I just--" She took a deep breath. "I just think maybe we should... we should wait to introduce--"

The doorbell rang again.

"No," Miles said, putting his hand on Lola's shoulder. "No. I'm not going to hide Hope. Or Lola. They're as much a part of the family as we are."

Mrs. H took a deep breath and went to go open the door, not saying anything back. Lola stared at Miles. "Did you really mean that?" she whispered, holding the baby tight. "I'm your family?"

"Yeah, of course," Miles said. "Lo, I meant-- I meant _everything_ I said today." He glanced down at the baby, then put his arm around Lola, just looking into her eyes.

Lola grabbed his hand. "Miles..." she whispered. "You know how you always said that I'm your hope?"

Miles nodded quietly. "Yeah?"

"Well," Lola said, talking quickly all of a sudden. She was almost shaking, her heart was beating so fast. "I think you're _my_ hope too... and I think..."

Hope perked up at the mention of her name, cooing softly. Lola smiled at her, then looked over at Miles. Her cheeks blushed like a little kid. "I think I'm saying _yes_ ," she squealed.

Miles sat up, his face breaking into a smile. "You... you're saying--"

"Yes, _yes_ , it's a _yes_ ," Lola said, holding his cheeks. She lowered her voice back to a whisper. "I want to marry you."

Miles kissed her hard, then started laughing. "This is _crazy_ ," he said, shaking his head smiling.

"I _know_ ," Lola squealed, still blushing.

"Maaa," Hope said.

Lola smiled at the baby. "See?" she cried. "I'm telling you, she's trying to say _Mama_!"

Miles kissed Lola again, still grinning from ear to ear. "I think you're right," he said. "This _is_ the best Chris--"

"Ahem."

Mrs. H stood over them, a serious looking elderly couple standing next to her. The couple stared at Hope and Lola, looking startled and a little horrified. "Miles," Mrs. H said, taking a deep breath, "why don't you introduce your daughter?"


	100. Christmas, Part 2

100 chapters! Wow! I cannot thank you all enough for sticking with this story for so long. I love writing it and plan to continue it for a long time. Now onto the Hollingsworyh grandparents... xx

 **Christmas, Part 2**

Lola was startled by how much Miles and his grandfather looked alike-- same cheekbones, same eyes, even the same posture. Same name too, she realized. Grandma Hollingsworth on the other hand, didn't physically remind her of Frankie or Hope at all. Her face was pointed and sharp, with piercing blue eyes and thin lips. Both of them stared at the baby, who was lying in Lola's lap sucking her thumb and cooing happily.

"I'm sorry," Grandma Hollingsworth finally spoke up. Her voice was much softer than Lola expected. "Did you say _daughter_?"

Miles took the baby from Lola and carried her to his grandparents. "Yup," he said casually, smiling. "Meet Hope."

His grandmother just stared at Hope for a second and then added, "Well... she's, um... she's very pretty, Miles." She glanced over at her husband, waiting for him to say something.

The senior Mr. Hollingsworth didn't look at Miles. "Diana, can I speak to you in the other room for a moment?" He and Mrs. H went into her office and closed the door behind them.

Lola got off the couch and awkwardly tried to introduce herself to Miles' grandmother. "Hi," she said timidly. "I'm Lola, Miles' girlfriend." She realized it was technically _fiancé_ now, but there was no way in hell she was going to announce their engagement in front of the whole family.

"Nice to meet you," Grandma Hollingsworth said quickly, barely looking at Lola. "I'd... I'd better go say hello to Frankie and Hunter." She turned and went upstairs to go find the twins.

Lola took Hope from Miles, sighing. "Well, I guess that went better than expected," she shrugged.

Miles bit his lip apprehensively. "I don't know," he muttered, glancing in the direction of his mother's office. "I don't quite trust my Granddad."

"I thought Frankie said they were cool, though," Lola said. Hope reached for her hair and tried to chew on it, completely unaware of the tension in the house.

Miles sighed. "My grandma's alright," he said. "My grandpa... let's just say it's not hard to see where my dad gets his personality from. He's always spoiled the twins, being the youngest and all, so they've never really seen the side of him that I have."

"Like what?" Lola asked.

"Well," Miles said, "whenever he would visit, I would always hear him and my dad arguing. My grandpa would use the same voice my dad used with me. Like... telling him he wasn't nearly as successful as my aunt and uncle, how he was bringing the family name down." He gulped. "And um, a couple of years ago I brought... I brought Tristan to a family dinner party as my date. And he wasn't too happy about it."

"Oh," Lola gulped. She always kind of winced at the mention of Tristan's name, at the reminder that Miles had a whole life before she and Hope came along. "I don't understand, though. How did they not know about Hope?"

"My dad kept it fairly quiet, I guess," Miles shrugged. "He never did any interviews about it. My grandparents don't really keep up with the news. And they live a few hours away, so it's not like they would know the gossip around town. I mean, my dad didn't even tell his parents that he and my mom were separated... he's always been pretty good at putting up a fake image for the media."

"Still, though," Lola said. "How could reporters not have seen us walking around town with Hope? Or you out in public with me when I was pregnant?"

Miles just shrugged. "I don't know. Like I said. They're good at seeing what they want to see. Hell, they still drove all this way for Christmas even though my dad's in prison." He shook his head. "They still have it in their heads that we're this perfect, happy little family. They think that if they don't talk about a problem, then it doesn't exist."

After awhile, Mrs. H and Grandpa Hollingsworth finally came out of the office. They all sat down to dinner in the dining room, Lola in between Frankie and Miles, Hunter across from them, and Hope in her high-chair at the end of the table. Lola sprinkled very tiny bits of baby food on the high-chair table in hopes that the baby would give it a try-- Hope still wasn't keen on solid foods, preferring Lola's milk instead-- and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"So, Hunter," Mrs. H said, passing around the plate of roast. "When do we get to meet this girlfriend of yours?"

Hunter groaned. "I don't think she's coming tonight. I don't know." He poked at his food, looking surly.

"Ooh, you have a girlfriend?" Grandma Hollingsworth said teasingly.

"Can we talk about something else?" Hunter muttered.

"Yes, let's," Grandpa Hollingsworth said, slicing his dinner. He stared long and hard at Hope, who was poking at her food curiously. "How old is the child?"

"She, um, just turned six months," Lola said sheepishly, intimidated by the harsh tone of his voice.

"Six months, hmm?" Grandpa Hollingsworth mused, his voice cold. "That's interesting. Because that would mean she was conceived last fall and I was _pretty_ sure Miles was dating a boy back then."

Lola felt her hands start to shake. "It was... complicated."

"What are you implying?" Miles asked. He reached for Lola's hand, squeezing it protectively.

Grandpa Hollingsworth shook his head. "Well, I just..." He smiled. "I assume there was a paternity test, right?" He tilted his chair back slightly. "I mean you can't possibly tell me that you just _assumed_ the baby was yours."

Miles' face turned red as he balled his fist in anger. "Hope is _mine_ ," he said, gritting his teeth. "There was never any doubt about it." He put his arm around Lola, who was too shocked to even say anything. Of course there had never been any doubt to who Hope's father was. It's not like she slept around. Miles was the first and _only_ guy she ever slept with. Miles knew that. What, did his grandfather think Lola was just some golddigger?

"Dad..." Mrs. H started, narrowing her eyes on her father-in-law in disapproval. Miles' grandmother didn't say anything, just sat there silently and sipped her drink.

"Lola's my best friend," Frankie chimed in. "We _know_ Hope is ours. Just look at her-- she's a Hollingsworth."

"Well, I just find the whole thing ridiculous," Grandpa Hollingsworth scoffed, turning to Miles. "We heard rumors, you know. But when I called your father to ask about it, he insisted the baby wasn't yours, that it was just some fabricated story to stir up drama."

Miles put his fork down. "Dad _said_ that?" He cursed under his breath, muttering, "Son of a bitch..."

"Miles!" Mrs. H said. " _Language_!"

"And whatever happened to that Tristan?" Grandpa Hollingsworth continued. "What, was that just a phase? You're suddenly straight again?"

"I'm not straight," Miles said, not looking at any of them. He sat up straight. "But I'm not gay, either. I'm... I'm bisexual." His heart pounded hard as he let out a deep breath. That was the first time he had ever really labeled himself to anyone like that-- well, other than maybe Lola. He'd _finally_ said those words he had struggled with for so long.

The room went quiet for a second. Mrs. H finished her glass of wine and Grandpa Hollingsworth let out a deep sigh, glancing back and forth between Miles, Lola, and the baby.

Lola cleared her throat. "Miles is a really great dad to Hope," she said, squeezing his hand. "I'm... I'm really thankful for him. And Mrs. Hollingsworth and the twins too. They've all been amazing."

"Yeah, and it's nice having Lola and the baby stay here," Frankie added. "Almost like having a sister."

"Hold on," Grandma Hollingsworth said, turning to Lola. "You're _living_ here? Diana, you just allow this?"

Mrs. H took a deep breath, shaking her head at Frankie for letting the cat out of the bag on that one. "It's a complicated situation."

"How do we know this isn't some kind of trap?" Grandpa Hollingsworth said, like Lola wasn't right there in the room. "How do we know this girl isn't just using us for our money?"

"God, _what money_?" Miles said, a little louder than he meant to. "Did you just forget that Dad is still in _prison_?" He shook his head, his face still hot. "But yeah, sure. Keep talking about how _I'm_ the family screwup."

"Mr. Hollingsworth," Lola said quietly, her cheeks pale. "I would _never_ \--"

Hope started to cry. Lola started to get up, but Miles beat her to it. "It's alright, Hope," he said, cradling the baby. He locked eyes with his grandpa. "Daddy's got you."

Just then, there was a knock at the front door. "Um, I'll get it," Hunter said, jumping out of his seat.

"Well," Frankie said with a weak smile, trying to ease the tension, "guess we're meeting Hunter's girlfriend after all."

"Oh, we've met."

Frankie, Lola, and Miles turned around. Their eyes widened in shock at what they saw. Hunter holding hands with... _Esme_.


	101. Christmas, Part 3

Man, I feel crazy for having so many chapters in one fic haha. There are definitely longer fics out there word count-wise though. This story has just become my favorite hobby! Christmas continues, this time from Hunter's POV... xx

 **Christmas, Part 3**

Hunter hadn't meant to fall for Esme. Hell, he hadn't even meant to _like_ her. When he walked into group therapy a couple of months ago and saw her sitting in the circle with everyone, he groaned out loud at the thought of having to put up with her twice a week.

"Oh look, it's Baby Hollingsworth," Esme had said when he first walked into the room. She smiled and pulled out a chair for him, batting her eyelashes. It made Hunter uneasy, but he sat next to her anyway.

"So, what are you in for?" Esme whispered, like this was a prison. When Hunter didn't answer, Esme took it upon herself to carry the conversation. "Well," she said, " _I'm_ here because I'm a psycho bitch. That's what they all say, right?" She smirked. "At least we're both crazy."

"I'm not crazy," Hunter blurted out defensively. He shuddered a little thinking of all the horrible things he had done-- harassing Maya, pushing Yael in the hallway, even bringing a gun to school. It seemed like a lifetime ago, like a completely different Hunter. Still, he couldn't outrun his past.

Throughout the therapy sessions, Esme would pass Hunter notes, whisper and giggle to him when the instructor did something stupid, and roll her eyes at him when they had to do the same exercises for the millionth time. Although Hunter had found her annoying at first, he gradually grew to appreciate her dark sense of humor. Sometimes, her presence was the only thing that got him through the session.

And then a few weeks ago, everything changed when they had to open up about their families in front of the class. Hunter had talked about his dad being in prison and how things had changed since Lola and the baby moved in, stumbling on his words and muttering a lot. He hated talking about his home life like this, like he was some dog on display in a shelter that everyone was supposed to pity. But therapy had been part of the deal with his parole-- if it weren't for his family having such a good lawyer, he'd probably be squatting in juvie somewhere.

When Esme stood up and started talking about her mom's death, something inside Hunter snapped together. Esme wasn't evil or crazy, he was finally realizing... she just got dealt a fucked up hand in life. And maybe, just maybe, they weren't so different after all.

Esme didn't cry or get emotional when she told her story like the other kids in the group did. She just told the truth, not asking for sympathy or anything, something Hunter kind of digged. After her turn, she sat down next to Hunter and smiled. "So," she said casually, turning to him after the meeting. "Got any plans the rest of the day?"

Hunter shrugged. "Probably just homework. Why?"

Esme just smirked. "Thought maybe you'd like to... _get out of here_."

Hunter was about to laugh and go _yeah right._ But then he found his eyes wandering down to her low-cut top, suddenly unable to stop staring at her chest.

"Eyes up _here_ ," Esme laughed in a sing-song type of voice. She reached for his hand. "Come on, little H. What do you say?"

Hunter reluctantly grabbed her hand and followed her out the door. They wound up in any empty hall closet and within seconds, they were slammed up against the wall making out. His heart pounded as he moved his tongue against hers, grabbing her breasts and feeling her hands reach for his zipper.

This went on for a couple of weeks, just them secretly making out and feeling each other up in the closet like this. After a few make out sessions, Esme took Hunter to her car and pulled out a condom. Hunter had been nervous-- he knew how many guys she had hooked up with in this car, the reason why she was called _easy Esme_. But between Miles and Lola's constant sexytimes and Frankie's fling with Zig, he was really growing to resent the fact that he was still the _only_ Hollingsworth sibling that was _still_ a virgin. Yael had never even gone past second base with him. He wanted this, he told himself. He could do this. He could be a man.

When their first time was over, Esme giggled and kissed his neck. "Well," she said, "you're a _much_ better kisser than Miles."

Hunter turned red all of a sudden. He had forgotten all about Esme and Miles' little JD and Veronica romance their junior year. Of _course_ his older brother had boned her first. Miles _always_ got the girl. But still. Esme was here with _him_ now, not Miles.

Hunter spoke up, still red in the face. "Do you, uh... want to grab some food?" he asked awkwardly.

Esme smiled. "Sure." They drove to the mall, where he would of course run into Miles. They kept up this routine of secret dates and hookups for a few weeks. They didn't really bother throwing on a label or anything-- it just felt good to be with someone who didn't judge him, who didn't think he was a psycho. Or at the very least, someone who was just as crazy as him.

Hunter had told Esme not to come tonight. Things were already going to be awkward enough with Lola, the baby, and his grandparents there. But of course, Esme showed up to dinner anyway.

"Wait," Frankie said, mouth still hanging wide open. " _Esme_ is your new girlfriend?"

Esme shrugged. "I prefer the term accomplice," she smiled. "Miles, Lola. Nice to see you."

Mrs. H just sighed loudly. "I'll be back," she said, getting up. "I... I need another glass of wine."

"You all know each other?" Grandma Hollingsworth chimed in, glancing at Esme's short outfit.

"Miles and I go way back," Esme said, smiling politely. She took a seat at the table near the baby. "Hi, darling," she cooed to Hope. "She's _adorable_ , Lo."

"Eee baaaa," Hope cooed back, smiling and flicking her baby food across the table.

"No, no," Lola said frantically, getting up and picking the crumbs off the floor. "Don't throw your food, sweetie."

"So um, how long have you two been seeing each other?" Grandpa Hollingsworth spoke up, turning to Esme and Hunter.

"A month or so," Esme said, helping herself to food. "Frankie, will you pass me the salt?"

Frankie smiled politely, then turned to her twin. "Hunter, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a sec?"

Hunter followed his sister into the other room, bracing himself for the lecture. Even though Frankie was only older by three minutes, she still tried to act like she was way older than him. "What?" he grumbled.

"Why are you dating her?" Frankie whispered, frowning.

Hunter shrugged. "She's fun," he said. "Yael and I couldn't work things out... I needed to find someone new."

"But _Esme_?" Frankie cried. "Hunter, she's probably just using you."

"You're just still butt hurt that Zig dumped you," Hunter said, rolling his eyes.

Frankie scowled. "I am _not_ ," she said. "And for your information, _I_ dumped _him_."

Hunter just shook his head. "Sure," he said. "Whatever." He took a deep breath. "Look, I know what you think Esme's like, but she's not like that. Besides, I got sick of being the only one around here who couldn't get a date."

"It doesn't bother you that she dated Miles?" Frankie said, looking grossed out. "Or that she got him addicted to pills? And that she totally screwed me over last year?" She lowered her voice. "Hunter, she's _crazy_."

"So am I," Hunter muttered, rolling his eyes. "Don't think I don't hear what your friends say about me. Or that I didn't notice all the stares I got coming back from the psych ward last year. Esme's not like everyone else, alright? She gets what it's like to not fit in."

Frankie sighed. "Hunter..."

Hunter shrugged and turned to go back into the dining room. He sat down next to Esme, smiled, and put his arm around her. What did his dumb twin know, anyway?


	102. Christmas, Part 4

Glad that plot twist was well-received, haha! This will be the final part of the Christmas chapter and then we'll jump to after the holiday. Gosh, so many plot points going on now! xx

 **Christmas, Part 4**

Lola got up and scooped the baby into her lap, partly because Hope wouldn't stop throwing her food and partly because she didn't quite trust her being so close to Esme. She wasn't really sure what to think of Esme these days-- on one hand, she'd been generally awful to her and Miles during the pregnancy, screwed Frankie over, and gotten her completely trashed on Halloween. On the other hand, though... there was something Lola could kind of appreciate about Esme's no-bullshit approach. She was so tired of people's games and passive aggressiveness these days that Esme's brutal honesty was almost appealing. Still, though-- she was dating _Hunter_? That was certainly a ship she didn't see coming. What would people call them... Hesme? Hollingsong? Songsworth?

She glanced at Miles, who looked about as happy as Frankie did. So Esme had managed to worm her way into the lives of all _three_ Hollingsworth siblings. That was kind of impressive, Lola had to admit-- gross, but impressive.

"Esme," Mrs. H said, trying to seem polite but still gritting her teeth. "Nice to see you."

Hope kept squirming in Lola's lap, reaching her little hands towards Esme. "Eee maaa," she babbled giddily.

"I think she likes me," Esme cooed, smiling at Hope.

"Judgment isn't really developed at this age," Miles muttered.

" _Miles_ ," Lola hissed, elbowing him.

Grandpa Hollingsworth cleared his throat. "So," he said, "Diana. How's my son doing? I can't _believe_ the conditions they're making him live in."

"He's, um... he's fine," Mrs. H said quietly. "He's eligible for parole in two years."

"Kinda miss his apartment," Esme said, turning to Miles. "Had a pretty sweet view. We had some good times there."

"Apartment?" Grandpa Hollingsworth said, sitting up. "What apartment?"

"And the secrets just keep coming out," Frankie muttered. Lola thought she spotted some wine mixed into her glass, but she wasn't sure. Honestly, she wouldn't blame her.

"Well... Miles and I were separated before the trial," Mrs. H finally said, not making eye contact. "We... we kept it pretty quiet. He still came around here quite a bit for the children."

Miles shuddered a little at the mention of his father. He hated that they even shared a name.

Grandpa Hollingsworth just sat there for a minute, then let out a long, deep sigh. "Is it me, or are you all living a double life?" he said. "Marital problems... secret love-children... experimenting with sexuality..."

"Not an experiment," Miles piped up, gritting his teeth. After hearing Tristan go on for years about how bisexuality was just a phase or a coverup for being gay, he wasn't about to deal with more stereotyping bullshit. He hadn't even realized the extent of Tristan's biphobia until Lola had pointed it out to him.

Esme turned to the Hollingsworth boys. "Sorry," she mumbled, her head hanging. "Didn't realize the apartment was a secret." Miles didn't think the word _sorry_ had ever come out of her mouth before, honestly.

Grandma Hollingsworth finally spoke up. "Look," she said, her voice shaky. "I think... I think this year has been hard for everyone. The sentencing was so difficult for all of us." She turned to Miles and Lola. "And for what it's worth, I think Hope is adorable."

Miles smiled a little, glad to hear something nice for once-- especially coming from his super conservative grandparents. He could tell his grandmother still didn't quite approve, based on the way she looked at Lola's blue hair and how she tsked when the baby threw her food. But still. It was something. "You can hold her if you want, you know," he said to his grandmother, picking up Hope. Lola looked hesitant as he handed the baby over to his grandmother, still a bit nervous about letting other people hold Hope since her accident.

"She _does_ have your eyes," Grandma Hollingsworth said, looking at both Miles'. She smiled a little as Hope looked up at her, probably trying to figure out who in the world this stranger holding her was.

"I'll uh, I'll take her now," Lola said nervously, taking the baby back. She held Hope closely, rubbing her back and nuzzling her against her shoulder. Hope let out a happy little sigh-- she definitely knew who her mom was.

"So um, Esme," Mrs. H said, trying to break the awkwardness. "Where are you going to school... or working... these days?"

Esme sat up straight, holding Hunter's hand. "Well, I took this semester off," she said. "I... had quite a bit to deal with." She squeezed Hunter's hand. " _But_ I finally got accepted at TU next semester. Not exactly Columbia or Yale, but..."

Miles nearly choked. "TU?" he said. "But... that's where _I'm_ \--"

"Well, looks like we get to be classmates again," Esme smiled.

"Excuse me," Grandpa Hollingsworth interrupted. "Can we get back to our discussion? Diana, how long have you and Miles been hiding your separation?"

Mrs. H opened her mouth to answer, but then just slumped back into her chair and let out a deep breath. "It's... been awhile," she said quietly.

"Well, I just don't see how you two could have kept up that secret for so long," Grandpa Hollingsworth continued. He glanced back at Hope again, who was lying in Lola's arms and sucking her little thumb. "And I'm still not convinced the child is ours."

Mrs. H got up all of a sudden. "I think you need to leave," she said firmly to her father-in-law.

"Diana, all I'm saying is..."

"I mean it," Mrs. H said, crossing her arms. She handed Grandpa Hollingsworth his coat. " _Now_."

Grandpa Hollingsworth just stared at her for a second, then took his coat and walked towards the front door, not bothering to say goodbye to any of them. Grandma Hollingsworth followed. "I'm terribly sorry about this," she muttered quickly, faintly apologetic as she followed her husband out the door. His grandparents' marriage, Miles realized, wasn't too different from his own parents'.

The grandparents shut the door behind them, leaving the Hollingsworth siblings, Lola, Hope, and Esme sitting at the table, dead silent.

Mrs. H was still standing. "Well," she finally broke the silence, almost laughing. "Who wants dessert?"

"I could go for a glass of wine myself," Esme said, half-jokingly. Hunter elbowed her.

Lola stood up, still cradling Hope. "I'll um, I'll help you in the kitchen, Mrs. Hollingsworth," she offered. She followed Mrs. H into the other room. "You didn't have to do that, you know," Lola said quietly.

Mrs. H glanced down at the baby, letting out a deep sigh. "You two are part of the family, Lola," she said simply. "I already made the mistake of letting Miles' dad talk down to him... I'm not going to let anyone do that to Hope."

Lola couldn't help but smile. "Well, thank you," she said. "It... it means a lot, you know."

Mrs. H opened the freezer and pulled out a carton of candy cane ice cream. It made Lola think back to the day Hope was born-- she had been eating that flavor of ice cream with Frankie when she went into labor. "So, what on _earth_ is the deal with that Esme girl?" Mrs. H whispered to Lola. "Call me old-fashioned, but isn't it still taboo to date your siblings' exes?"

Lola just shook her head, laughing slightly. "I have no idea," she admitted. "Esme's... kind of a wild card."

"Hmm," Mrs. H muttered, pulling out a second carton of ice cream. "Wait. Is _she_ the one who got Miles addicted to those--"

"Need any help?" Esme said, suddenly appearing behind them. She was still smiling.

Mrs. H was clearly caught off guard. "Um, you can get the bowls out," she muttered. She grabbed the cartons of ice cream and went into the next room, glancing back at Esme as if she was trying to figure out what her aim was.

"Bowls are in that cabinet," Lola pointed out, noticing Esme scrambling to find them. She tried to smile. "So... you and Hunter?"

Esme shrugged. "Crazier things have happened," she said, glancing at the baby in Lola's arms.


	103. What Comes After the Blues

Thank you guys for being open to the format changes. This story means so much to me; it's really gotten me to start writing again and reading your reviews always gives me something to look forward to! I don't plan on stopping anytime soon! So, there's not too much new drama in this chapter-- I felt we needed a little bit of a breather after the Christmas fiasco. Instead, this one is focusing more on some dynamics I haven't really gotten a chance to explore before xx

 **What Comes After the Blues**

It always took the Hollingsworth family a few days to recuperate from the holidays, and this Christmas was no exception. After the disaster that was Christmas dinner, everyone really just needed some space for a little while. Mrs. H even left all the torn wrapping paper under the tree and dishes in the sink for two days after, a far cry from their usually spotless house- sometimes she forgot they didn't have a maid anymore.

The morning after Christmas, Lola woke up in Miles' bed nuzzled against his chest. She wasn't really supposed to sleep in his room like this, but after the night they'd had, they just passed out. "Morning, sleepyhead," Lola whispered, kissing his stubbly cheek.

Miles smiled at her groggily. "Morning," he yawned. He glanced at Lola's hand, spotting the diamond ring on her finger. "Did you wear the ring to bed?" he laughed.

"Yeah," Lola giggled, blushing as she admired the diamond again. "I wanted to try it out."

"Well, it fits you perfectly," Miles smiled.

Lola stared at the ring again for a second, just savoring the thrill of the feeling. She sighed a little, twisting her lip. "Hey, Miles?"

Miles nodded. "Hmm?"

"Do you think... would you mind if..." Lola stammered, eyes still glued to her ring finger. "Can we um, keep it a secret for awhile? I love the ring, I just... I don't want everyone to know quite yet."

"You sure you like the ring?" Miles said, suddenly second-guessing his taste in diamonds. "I could have them resize it or swap it out or-"

"No, no, I _love_ the ring," Lola assured him. "And you." She sighed again. "It's just... last year, I was _that pregnant girl_. People were always talking about me, you know? I don't want to be the center of gossip again. I mean, I _am_ still in high school. Getting engaged isn't exactly-"

"The norm?" Miles chuckled, his voice still a bit nervous. He shrugged. "I mean, neither is having a baby at our age... who cares about being normal?"

Lola played around with the ring again. "Yeah," she murmured. "But still. I want this to be just _our_ secret for... for a little while." She glanced at him timidly. "Is that alright?"

Miles squeezed her hand reassuringly, his fingers touching the edges of the diamond. "Of course," he said softly. _Crap- Tristan knew about the engagement_ , Miles remembered. _But Tris didn't even go to Degrassi anymore... he wouldn't say anything... right?_

Lola sat up a little. "Besides," she said, "I don't want Franks to know yet. She already flipped out when we started hooking up last year... I don't know how she'd react to us getting _married_."

"She'd probably love it," Miles said. "She's always wanted a sister, and you two are practically sister-in-laws already."

Lola nodded. "But still," she said quietly. "I'm not ready to tell her yet."

"I understand," Miles nodded. He gave her a smooch on the cheek, then pulled her back into his chest to cuddle. They were just starting to get comfortable when they heard Hope crying through the baby monitor.

"And there's our little bundle of joy now," Miles mumbled.

"I'll get her," Lola groaned, starting to get off the bed.

"No, it's okay, I can get her," Miles said, hopping off the mattress.

"No, really- I got her," Lola said.

"I insist," Miles frowned.

They looked at each other and started laughing. "Fine," Lola said, heading towards the nursery. "Let's _both_ get her."

* * *

Hunter sat in the living room a couple of days later, re-reading the same comic book for what seemed like the millionth time. Upstairs, he heard his sister giggling and squealing with Lola and Shay about something. He sighed loudly as he glanced at his phone again. Baaz was busy with his family, Vijay was on a date with some Teendr dude who looked like a Neil Patrick Harris wannabe, and Esme wasn't answering his texts. Even though he and Esme had just hung out the other day, Hunter couldn't help but worry she was blowing him off. As much as he didn't want to admit it, a part of him was scared he was just her latest little pet project, like a weird "how many Hollingsworths can you fuck up" hobby. What, was she going to try and fuck his _dad_ next?

Across from him, Mrs. H looked up from her book. "Will you stop sighing like that every two seconds?" she said, annoyed.

"Sorry," Hunter grumbled. He shifted his eyes back to his comic book, trying not to worry about what dude Esme might have in her car right now.

Mrs. H closed her book. "What's wrong?" she asked, suddenly all motherly.

Hunter barely looked up from his comic. "It's just..." he muttered. "Miles is at Winston's... Frankie and Lola and Shay are having their dumb sleepover... and _I'm_ sitting here reading _Batman_ for the fiftieth time." He laughed under his breath a little, adding, "I bet even Hope has a more exciting social life than me."

Mrs. H set the book aside, studying her younger son's ever-surly expression. "Are you ever going to explain to me why you're dating _Esme_ of all people? Whatever happened to Yael? You two looked so cute together on FaceRange."

"Yael was... complicated," Hunter mumbled, not wanting to explain the gender spectrum to his fairly conservative mother. "I needed something new in my life. And I like hanging out with Esme." He shrugged, shifting his eyes back to _Batman_.

Mrs. H sighed, pursing her lips. "Um, are you two- you're using protection, right?"

Hunter turned bright red. " _God!_ Mom, of course!" He still didn't look at her. "I can't believe you just asked me that," he muttered, embarrassed.

"Well, I'm sorry, but I _had_ to," Mrs. H said, looking just as uncomfortable. "Between your siblings-"

"Don't worry," Hunter rolled his eyes. "I'm not trying to have a kid at seventeen like Miles."

Mrs. H picked her book back up. "Good," she murmured. "Now, go find something to do, will you? This is the first time in weeks I've been able to read without baby cries interrupting me."

Meanwhile, Lola, Shay and Frankie were upstairs in Frankie's room giggling with each other. Shay had been feeling left out lately since Lola moved in with Frankie, so they decided it was overdue to host a sleepover with just the three of them- well, the three of them _plus_ the baby.

Hope was sleeping in Lola's lap while Frankie painted the baby's little toenails. "This is going to look _so_ cute!" Lola said quietly, trying not to wake the sleeping baby.

"Good thing you had a girl, huh?" Frankie grinned, finishing the layer of pink.

"Let's be honest, Lo would have painted the kid's nails no matter what," Shay added, laughing.

Hope woke up and started fussing. "Oh no," Lola said, rocking her back and forth and using the special voice she only used with Hope. "It's okay, sweetie. It's okay." She rubbed the baby's back, kissing her forehead and cradling her protectively.

"Sometimes, I still can't believe you're really a mom," Frankie said, watching as Lola comforted the baby.

"Hashtag milf, right?" Lola laughed. She glanced at Hope. "Yeah. I know. It's still pretty crazy to think."

"I can't even remember the last time we all slept over at Frankie's like this," Shay said.

Lola tried to think. "I think it was... well, it had to be before Hope was born."

Frankie sat up. " _Oh._ I remember now. It was last March," she said. "Remember? Lo wasn't feeling good enough to go out, so we decided to just marathon all of the _Twilight_ movies here instead."

Lola remembered now:

 _The three girls sat in Frankie's room, munching on snacks and watching_ Breaking Dawn _for what seemed like the hundredth time._

 _Lola was about six-and-a-half months pregnant then and couldn't get comfortable no matter how hard she tried. "Man, the baby's kicking tons again," she said, leaning back into the mountain of pillows behind her._

 _"At least the kid's not half-vampire," Shay shrugged, eyes glued to the movie._

 _"What's it feel like?" Frankie asked. "Having a baby inside you?"_

 _Lola tried to think. Everyone looked at her like she was a walking scientific experiment these days, always asking questions and staring. "Well," she said, hand on her bump, "I guess it's kind of cool, feeling it move and all. But it's weird too. Like... there's this little person there that you can't see, but it's depending on you for everything."_

 _Miles came in just then carrying bags of takeout. "Okay, I got the tacos, chips and salsa, and the churros," he said, handing the bag to Lola. "Anything else you need?"_

 _"No, that should do it," Lola giggled, taking the bag of food. "Thanks, Miles." She gave him a peck on the cheek, blushing as she watched him leave the room._

 _"Well, you've definitely got him nicely wrapped around your finger," Frankie laughed. "I swear he runs out to get you food every night."_

 _"Cravings," Lola shrugged, digging into her tacos._

 _"Tiny never does that for_ me _," Shay muttered, a little grumpy._

 _"Yeah, well- you're not growing another human inside you," Lola teased. She paused. "What do you guys think about the name Renesmee?"_

 _"Over my dead body!" Frankie squealed. "I'm not letting any neice of mine be called that." She shook her head laughing. "Edward or Jacob's alright for a boy, though."_

Lola covered Hope in kisses, admiring her newly painted toenails. "She looks like she's ready for prom," she giggled to Frankie and Shay.

" _Prom_ ," Frankie sighed. "Man. Guess I have a few months to find a date. Always thought Jonah and I would go together." She frowned, mind wandering back to the boy she had never quite been able to get over.

Shay sighed along with her. "I'm not so sure Tiny and I will be going this year, either," she mumbled sadly.

"What?" Frankie cried. "Why?"

"I don't know..." Shay said. "It's just- long distance is _really_ hard. I'm worried I'm holding him back."

"No," Lola said sharply. " _No_ , you two are not allowed to break up. You're Shay Powers and Tiny Bell- you're like... a _power couple_."

Shay laughed a little. "That's a far cry from how you felt about us last year."

Lola shrugged. "Yeah, well, that was before Hope came along," she said, cradling the baby. "Trust me. I got over Tiny _ages_ ago."

"You certainly do seem extra happy these days," Frankie smirked, raising her eyebrows. "What, did Miles agree to letting you paint _his_ nails too?"

Lola blushed thinking of the diamond ring hidden on Miles' desk. Sometimes late at night she snuck in and wore it, just trying it out. " _No_ ," she said, still smiling giddily. She wanted to tell Frankie and Shay about the engagement. But they could just be so... _judgy_. After the way they reacted to her pregnancy last year, she didn't want to set herself up for another batch of drama. "I'm just, um... Miles is just really great."

" _Tmi_ ," Frankie muttered, looking grossed out.

"That's not what I meant!" Lola giggled. She pulled Hope closer. "Okay. Maybe a _little."_

"Amm aaaa," Hope cooed, smiling and leaning into Lola.

"I think she's trying to say "Auntie!"" Frankie squealed.

"No, she's definitely trying to say "Mama,"" Lola insisted, bouncing Hope on her shoulder. The room stunk all of a sudden and Lola realized she needed to change the baby's diaper. "Never mind," she laughed, holding the smelly baby out to Frankie. "She's calling _you_."

* * *

Miles and Winston were in Winston's room playing _Just Dance_. It had been a long while since just the two of them had hung out like this. "So let me get this straight," Winston said, trying to keep up with Miles' dancing. "You're _living_ with Lola."

"Yep," Miles said. Damn, he hadn't gotten any better at this game over the years. Neither had Chewy, though.

Winston shook his head laughing. "Man," he said. "You two must hook up like, every day."

Miles just grinned. "I don't kiss and tell, Chewy."

"Bull," Winston rolled his eyes. "You can't keep a secret to save your life." He set the Wii remote down, frowning at the screen. "How did you beat me _again_?"

Miles shrugged happily. "Just pure skill," he said, slumping over on Winston's bed. "Shit, I'm tired. Hope kept me and Lola up late last night. Teething's the _worst_."

"It's like you're speaking a foreign language to me, dude," Winston said. "Still can't picture you as a dad... cleaning up spit up, talking baby talk, changing diapers..."

"Yeah," Miles muttered. "Hey, I'm sorry our Europe trip didn't work out. Would have been kind of a jackass move to ditch Lola while she was nine months pregnant."

"It's fine," Winston shrugged. "We'll get there someday."

They sat in silence for a minute, until Miles broke the ice. "We don't have much to talk about anymore, do we?" he frowned.

Winston joined Miles on the bed. "I mean... I can't exactly relate to changing diapers." He cleared his throat. "But, you know, we've known each other since we were five. I'm sure we'll... find our groove again."

" _Five_ ," Miles chuckled. "Damn. Seems like just yesterday we were a couple of snot-nosed kids playing on the playground, huh?"

"Nah, that was just you," Winston said, grinning. "I always wiped my nose."

Miles' phone lit up. "One sec," he said to Winston, turning to answer his cell. "Hey, Lo. No, there's more baby food in the back cabinet... you see it? Okay. Love you. Bye." He hung up and turned back to Winston. "Sorry," he said. "You know. Baby stuff."

"Yeah," Winston muttered. He leaned back into the mattress, sighing. "Meanwhile, I can't even get a Teendr date."

Miles raised his eyebrows. "Things with Goldi didn't work out?"

"Nah," Winston shook his head. "I mean, I liked her a lot. But she would barely even _kiss_ me. I didn't wanna wait forever." He paused. "How do you do it?"

"What?" Miles said.

"I mean, the entire time I've known you, you've never _not_ had a girl," Winston said. "Or guy. I mean, you had your first kiss in _kindergarten,_ for godssakes."

"Ah, I'd forgotten all about that girl," Miles chuckled. "I hear she grew up to be pretty hot."

"And you jump from person to person so quickly," Winston continued. "You were all puppy dog eyes over Maya for months, then you were suddenly in love with Tristan... now you and Lola have a kid?" He shook his head. "Sometimes I don't get you."

"It's different with Lola," Miles said, suddenly defensive. Sure, he'd had a tendency to relationship-hop in the past... but Lola was, well, _different_. She was the only one who had ever truly understood him, truly accepted him for who he was. "I love her."

"Okay, okay," Winston said. "I like Lola. Didn't mean to set you off." He thought for a minute. "It's kinda weird that we've both kissed her, though," he added, laughing under his breath.

Miles sat up straight. " _What_?"

Winston turned red. "You didn't know I was her first kiss?" he said. "It was like, three years ago. Actually, I kissed her while I was still um, still dating Frankie."

Miles clutched his forehead. "I don't know which to be more pissed off about," he muttered. "That you cheated on my sister or that you kissed my fiancée."

" _Fiancée?"_ Winston repeated, his mouth hanging open. " _What_?"

Miles let out a long sigh, wincing. "Crap," he muttered. "Guess you're right. I really _can't_ keep a secret."


	104. New Year's Eve, Part 1

First of all, I'm sorry I haven't updated for several days- school was kind of nuts this week. I'm still completely committed to this story though and have lots of ideas for future plots! I tried the longer chapters, but I just didn't feel the quality was as good and I didn't like spacing them so far apart... so, I'm kind of splitting the chapters into parts now maybe. Updates still won't be daily (more like every couple of days probably), but I just think I prefer the (somewhat) shorter chapters- this one is almost 2k. I'd just really, really like to hear your thoughts in reviews! On a side note, any particular flashbacks, scenes, or interactions you guys want to see? This chapter is more focusing on a single event, but from different perspectives... xx

 **New Year's Eve, Part 1**

A couple of days later, Frankie called Lola into her room for an "emergency". She shut the door behind her, pressing her finger to her lips.

"What's going on?" Lola asked, bouncing a fussy Hope on her shoulder. The baby was still teething, so she was crying more than usual. Hunter had complained that the baby's colic kept him up at night, to which Lola pleasantly responded that he should stick his foot in his mouth.

"So," Frankie smiled. "My mom just told me she's going to be out of town for New Year's Eve." She took a seat on her bed. "You know what _that_ means!" she squealed giddily.

"Um, that we have to cook dinner ourselves?" Lola shrugged.

" _No,"_ Frankie said. "It means we're throwing a party!"

Lola laughed and glanced at Hope, who was still fussing. "Uh, I don't _think_ so!" First of all, there was no way she was going to expose Hope to a bunch of drunken teenagers. Second of all, it was against Mrs. Hollingsworth's rules. And thirdly... parties didn't exactly tend to go well for Lola. Last party, she got wasted and barfed on Miles' shoes. The party before that, she got pregnant.

Frankie rolled her eyes, growing tired of Hope's crying. "It won't be a _party_ -party," she said. "It'll be just... well, just a few friends." She sighed. "Look, Lo. I messed up my reputation _big time_ this year by hooking up with Zig. I just..." She paused. "I just want people to like me again, you know?"

Lola sat down on the bed next to her. "Why do you care what people think?" she shrugged. Hope started screaming. "Shh sweetie, you're okay," Lola cooed, rubbing the baby's back. "You're fine, Mommy's got you."

Frankie tsked. " _Everyone_ cares about that." She glanced back and forth between Lola and the baby. "Well. Except you, maybe," she said, then quietly added, "Not that you really have a choice..."

Lola frowned. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

Frankie shrugged. "I mean... you _did_ get pregnant at sixteen."

Lola shot her a look. "Yeah, and _you_ had _chlamydia_!"

Frankie bit her lip- she had to admit she'd walked right into that one. "Fair point," she said quietly. "Look, let's just have a couple of friends over at least? Shay, Tiny, maybe even Yael? I'm tired of sitting around doing nothing."

"Okay... fine. I guess," Lola sighed, still rubbing Hope's back. The baby was finally settling down, letting out those happy little sighs she always did when she relaxed. "I guess it would be kind of nice to hang out with people for once." She paused. "But _only_ a couple of friends. No party." She held out her pinky, waiting for Frankie to shake on it.

" _Fine_ ," Frankie said. "Pinky promise."

* * *

The next evening, Esme and Hunter sat in her car in the back of the mall parking lot. It had become kind of their "spot"- Hunter wasn't big on PDA and he especially wasn't in a rush for everyone to see him and Esme holding hands in public. It wasn't that he was ashamed of being with her or anything. But, well, people _did_ talk. And Hunter was sick of gossip.

Esme slowly pulled away from their kiss, her lipstick leaving a cherry red stain on Hunter's lips. "So," she whispered, playing with his shirt collar. "Any plans for tomorrow night?"

Hunter blinked. "What's tomorrow night?"

"New Year's Eve. Only the biggest night of the year, Little H."

"Oh," Hunter said. "Right. I dunno- probably just... playing video games or helping out with the baby, I guess."

Esme rolled her eyes. " _Lame."_

"And I suppose you have something way cooler to do?"

"Actually, I do," Esme smirked. "At your place, in fact. Rumor has it your sister's throwing the biggest rager since _Project X_."

"That's news to _me_ ," Hunter said, a little offended his own twin didn't even tell him about it. Not that he and Frankie really communicated much, anyway. They had never really understood that whole "twin telepathy" idea. Hunter supposed maybe the concept only applied to identical twins.

Esme raised her eyebrows. "Do you Hollingsworths communicate at all? Like.. _ever_?"

Hunter just shrugged. "I'm sure it's going to be lame, anyway," he said. "I'll probably just play video games up in my room with the guys. I could care less about who my sister has over."

Esme let go of his collar, sighing deeply. "Why won't you introduce me to your friends?" she frowned.

"You've met Vijay and Baaz and the other gamers I hang with," Hunter said, surprised. "You already know everyone from school. Besides, I thought you didn't like any of them."

"Doesn't matter," Esme insisted. "You've never introduced _me and you._ There's a difference."

Hunter stared straight ahead, gulping a little. "Me and you."

 _"Relax_ , I'm not using the g-word," Esme shrugged. "You act like I just dropped an "I love you" bomb on you." She shook her head laughing a little. "But if we're going to keep hooking up and hanging out like this... the least you could do is act like you can stand me in public. Zig always put his friends before me- they hated me, anyhow. I don't want to deal with the same bull again."

Hunter just stared at her for a second. "What.. what exactly _are_ we doing here, E?" he said, stumbling on his words a bit. "I mean you dated my _brother_ and now-"

"I wouldn't say _dated_."

"Fucked on a regular basis, then. Whatever," Hunter muttered. "But I don't get you, you know? We barely even talked last year and then you suddenly just pull me into the closet and kiss-"

"What, are you saying you didn't enjoy it?" Esme raised her eyebrows. She sighed. "Look. I don't care what we are, Little H. In fact, I like the ambiguity. But I'm not going to just be your secret little sex toy. You already didn't want me at your Christmas dinner, and if you're too ashamed to introduce me to your friends then-"

Hunter sighed. He wasn't keen on introducing Esme to Baaz and Vijay, but he also didn't want to lose this, whatever it was. She was the only thing that made him feel good lately. Normal, even. "Fine," he said. "Tomorrow night, then."

* * *

The next day, Lola stood over the kitchen stove frying tortilla after tortilla. Hope was snuggled in her baby carrier attached to Lola, waving her little fingers and curiously eyeing the food. Lola smiled down at her. "One day when you're older, Mommy will teach you how to make all kinds of yummy Mexican and Argentinian food," Lola cooed to the baby, stroking her head.

" _I_ wouldn't mind learning," a familiar voice piped up from behind.

Lola turned around and groaned at the sight of Baaz. "Hi to you too."

"Haven't seen you at our meetings lately."

"Yeah," Lola muttered, taking Hope out of her sling and gently bouncing her on her shoulder. "I've... been busy."

"No kidding," Baaz said. He stared at the baby, looking like he couldn't believe she was actually real. "Hmm. She's littler than I expected."

"What do you mean?"

Baaz stumbled on his words, doing that stupid tongue clicking thing he always did when he was nervous. "Well 'cause last year, you were... you know..." He gestured to his stomach and stretched his arms out wide, laughing under his breath.

Lola rolled her eyes. "Talk to me when you've spent nine months of your life carrying another human."

Just then, Yael came in the room. "Baaz, Hunter and Vijay are upstairs calling for you," they said, giving him that _scram or else_ look. He took the hint and went upstairs to Hunter's room. "Hey," Yael said to Lola, smiling at Hope. "Wow. I haven't seen her since the day she was born."

"Can you say "hi," Hope?" Lola grinned, waving the baby's little hand at Yael.

"Abbaaaa!" Hope squealed happily.

Lola and Yael both laughed. "Close enough," Lola shrugged, settling onto the couch. She glanced over at the stairs as the sound of Hunter yelling at his Xbox travelled down there. "You sure this isn't too weird for you?" Lola asked, a worried look on her face. "Being here after you and Hunter broke up?"

"Not really," Yael shrugged."I figure the boys will be up there playing video games most of the night, anyway."

The front door slammed and Frankie and Shay came into the living room. "Hey," Frankie said, putting pizza boxes down. "So, I rented _Sixteen Candles_ , _Spring Breakers_ , and _Juno._ "

Lola laughed at that last option. "Yeah, I'm gonna vote no on _Juno_ ," she said. "Given that was my nickname last year."

"What?" Shay said. "Who called you "Juno"?"

"Um," Lola said, trying to keep Hope from squirming so much. "Tristan. Esme..."

"Can we not talk about Esme?" Frankie tsked, sick of rehashing last year's drama. "I just want to enjoy tonight. Get a fresh start, you know?" She pulled out a bottle from the fridge. " _Relax_ ," she laughed at Lola's expression. "It's just sparkling cider." She handed them each a glass.

Lola just shook her head. "To new beginnings," she smiled, raising her glass to Frankie, Shay, and Yael's.

Suddenly, the front door swung open. A crowd of Degrassi kids walked in blasting music and carrying kegs. "Alright! Where the party at?" someone shouted. _Deja vu._


	105. New Year's Eve, Part 2

Hope I didn't lose any readers on that mini hiatus! Thanks for being on board with the constant format changes-- I think some chapters will be long and some will be short, just depends. This week I had more time than usual, thus the two chapters in a row. As long as people are still into it, I'll keep writing forever! Let me know your thoughts, as always xx

 **New Year's Eve, Part 2**

When Frankie said she wanted a party, she didn't mean like this. The room seemed to spin around her as teenagers spilled their drinks on the carpet, made out on the couch, and blasted music by the pool.

Miles had thrown his fair share of Hollingsworth ragers back in the day, sure, but Frankie hadn't seen one like this since... well, since her freshman year. That awful party where Zoe was assaulted by Luke and Neil in their pool house. It had scared the shit out of Frankie, the thought of something that horrible happening under her roof. Maybe that was why Frankie had been so quick to just blame Zoe for it all, to brush it under the rug like something to just never be spoken of again. Frankie didn't exactly didn't deal with trauma well. She'd never really apologized to Zoe for that either, she realized now.

"Frankie! There you are!" Lola cried, having lost her in the sea of party guests for a bit. She was still cradling Hope on her shoulder, looking very out of place in a crowd of drunken high-school kids.

"God, how many people did you _invite_ to this thing?" Yael added, pushing their way through the crowd to join them.

"I swear, I only invited a handful!" Frankie shouted over the music. "I... I don't know! I guess the word just spread like crazy?" She groaned as she witnessed another person spill their drink on the carpet, feeling like she was about to cry. "Really, I didn't mean for this to happen!"

Lola sighed deeply, holding Hope tightly. She felt like such a fish out of water here, being at a regular high school party like this. It was kind of weird to think sometimes that if she hadn't gotten pregnant, if she hadn't had Hope, this might be what her life would still be like. "It's alright, Franks," she said. "Why don't me and Yael just take Hope upstairs while you and Shay try to get it under control... I think Miles is still at the movies with Winston, but I'll try his cell again..."

On her way up the stairs, Lola passed several kids she recognized from Degrassi. They all stared at the baby like she was some alien creature, like they'd never seen an infant before in their lives. She opened Frankie's bedroom door- then she nearly screamed at what she saw: Hunter and Esme lying on her mattress making out in their underwear. Yael on the other hand, _did_ scream.

"Lola! Yael! Jesus, don't you _knock_?" Hunter cried, quickly throwing his pants back on.

Lola closed her eyes, covering Hope's. "Eww, oh my god, _ewww_!" She felt like barfing. She hadn't been this uncomfortable around Hunter since she gave him that boner last year. "What were you doing in _my bed_?"

"Hunter's room was occupied," Esme shrugged, still wearing nothing but her lacy black bra. "Besides, sex in your _own_ bed is so boring."

"Eww, eww, eww!" Lola cried again. "I'm going to have to sanitize this entire room!" Yael just stood there frozen, their face pale as they made uncomfortable eye contact with Hunter. Even after all this time, the heartbreak still felt fresh. It still hurt.

"Don't try and act so innocent," Esme rolled her eyes at Lola, glancing at the baby as she pulled her shirt back on. She grabbed Hunter's hand and led him into the hallway, muttering "Come on, Little H," like he was her dog or something.

Lola sank into Frankie's bed, not wanting to even look at her own mattress. " _Ughhh_!" She turned to Yael as they took a seat next to her. "Are you... are you okay?"

Yael just sighed. "I guess," they murmured, staring at the floor. "He had to move on at some point, right?"

Lola put her arm around them, trying to cheer them up. "Hey, don't look so sad," she tsked. "He doesn't deserve you. You're a total badass- _way_ too cool for him."

Yael leaned into Lola's shoulder, just appreciating their friend for a moment. It was crazy to think how far the two of them had come, how close they had gotten in the past year. "Thanks, Lo," they said. "You're awesome too." They laughed a little under their breath, then added, "You know what's kind of funny? When we first met I um, I... kinda couldn't stand you." They looked at Lola, worried they might have offended her.

But Lola just cracked up along with Yael. "God, I couldn't stand _you_!" she admitted. "I thought you were this stuck-up yuppie who thought they were too good for everyone else."

"I thought _you_ were a total superficial airhead!" Yael added, still giggling. They sat up, catching their breath. "But you're not, at all. You're an awesome friend. And you're a really great mom."

Lola smiled, pulling the baby closer. "Well, I don't know about that," she sighed. "But I try my best." She paused. "Hey, I never really thanked you for all your help this past year."

"But I didn't really do anything," Yael said, looking confused.

"That's what I mean," Lola said, bouncing Hope on her shoulder. "You're one of the only people who... who still treated me _normally_ throughout everything. I mean, God- when I was pregnant with Hope, everyone looked at me like I had rabies or something. Even Franks and Shay didn't know how to act around me sometimes."

"That's ridiculous," Yael said. "It's not like you're the first teenager in the world to get pregnant. And, you know, no method of contraception is 100% anyway."

"Yeah, especially when you take your pills wrong," Lola muttered under her breath, laughing a little. Still, Yael really was the only one who had never judged her. She remembered that day when the news of her pregnancy spread like wildfire around the school and she had run into the girls' bathroom sobbing, only to find comfort in Yael:

 _Lola sprinted into the bathroom crying, slamming the door behind her and praying that no one would follow her. She stared at her splotchy, red face in the mirror, dismayed at the sight of her tiny baby bump, which suddenly seemed visible now that everyone knew. She was beginning to wonder why she was even doing this whole thing in the first place, why she'd been so insistent on keeping this baby when she couldn't even stand the thought of anyone at school knowing she was pregnant._

 _She heard a flushing sound and groaned as a stall opened- she'd thought she'd been alone. But when she saw it was Yael, she ran up and hugged them, suddenly feeling the need to cry on someone's shoulder even if they weren't particularly close friends. Frankie still wasn't speaking to her and Shay didn't really know how to act, not wanting to get between the two of them._

 _After bolting the door behind them, Lola and Yael slumped against the bathroom wall to talk. Yael placed their hand on Lola's shoulder, just patiently waiting for her to stop sobbing so she could get her words out. "Um, so," Lola said shakily, wiping her eyes. "The thing is, I... I'm pregnant."_

 _Yael didn't even look that shocked. "Yeah, I- I kind of wondered if something was going on," they admitted. "You'd been acting kind of strange during our vlogging meetings and Hunter mentioned you said something to him about pregnancy tests or..."_

 _Lola groaned. "Well, now everyone knows," she said. "The secret's out, thanks to Miles." She stared down at the floor, fidgeting a little. "He's, um... he's the dad."_

 _Yael looked a little surprised by that relevation, but bit their tongue. "So you're keeping it?"_

 _"Yeah," Lola sighed, hand on her bump. "I can't really explain it, I just... it's what I decided." Going through with the pregnancy wasn't a decision Lola had made overnight. She'd spent hours agonizing over her options, researching every one of them. At first, she'd actually been pretty set on abortion. She wasn't ready to be a parent and she and Miles sure as hell weren't ready to be parents_ together _. But, as she'd told Miles, when the test came back positive, she just felt_ stuck _. She couldn't get the image of a baby out of her head. She stared at photos of babies online for hours trying to talk herself out of it only to realize she'd already grown attached to the tiny thing growing inside her. Maybe she could do this, she told herself. Maybe she didn't have to be like her own mom, maybe she could actually be good at this and love it and be there for it. She'd already made up her mind by the time she told Miles. But as the weeks went on, the idea seemed scarier and scarier as the reality of her decision sunk in. This wasn't going to be some doll to just dress up and play with- it was going to be a real, live human being that needed her for absolutely everything. And that terrified her._

 _Yael nodded understandingly. "I respect that," they said. "I mean, any choice is valid. If you want to keep the baby, more power to you."_

 _Lola smiled a little, but then sighed again. "I don't even really feel pregnant yet," she shrugged. "I've been nauseous and stuff but it kind of just feels like a bad flu sometimes." She stared down at her stomach. "I don't know how I'm going to deal when it feels like... when it feels like there's a real baby in there, you know?" She started crying again a little, adding, "I can't believe I have to get fat!"_

 _"So- you and Miles..." Yael said, raising their eyebrow. "When did that happen?"_

 _Lola wiped her eyes. "It was, um, it was when Tristan was in the coma. I know it sounds terrible. But we really understood each other. He made me feel..._ whole _again. And I think I did the same for him." She sighed. "Well. Until this mess happened. Guess it's our punishment, right?"_

 _Yael just shook their head. "Lola, you're not being punished," they said. "You can handle this; you're going to be okay. And hey, maybe this baby was kind of just... meant to be."_

 _Lola sniffled. "Yeah," she whispered, leaning into Yael's shoulder. "Maybe you're right."_


	106. New Year's Eve, Part 3

Sorry the last chapter was more about the past instead of showing more of the party- sometimes I write chapters on a whim in between classes and maybe don't develop and edit them as thoroughly as I should. I felt we needed more Yael/Lola since their friendship is so important on the show and I've barely touched on it in this fic. That being said, I've decided what I'm going to do is just update every weekend- that way I can focus on school during the week and you guys still get your (fairly) regular updates but aren't bombarded with notifications. Once again, I really, really hope you all still find the story interesting! Anyway, here's a drama-filled chapter, I think it's actually one of my better ones... xx

 **New Year's Eve, Part 3**

Frankie walked around the pool area looking for Shay, trying to block out all the blaring music and screaming. Shit, her mom was going to _kill_ her. Actually, Miles might kill her first. She wondered when exactly their roles had switched like this, when she had become the "problem" child. Miles' high-school years had been tumultuous, to say the least. He'd thrown crazy parties, gotten into drugs, made a hobby of pissing off his father, hooked up with more people than Frankie could count, and even gotten a girl pregnant. On the other hand, the worst Frankie had really done was send one naked oomfchat, get kicked off the volleyball team, and maybe have a boy in her room once or twice- well, up until this year, anyway.

She dialed Miles' cell again, but got no answer. Ugh. There was no way she could break this party up on her own. And truthfully, she wasn't sure she really wanted to try- shutting down the biggest rager of the year would only make her reputation worse.

She finally spotted Shay. "There you are!" Frankie cried. "God, this party is _nuts_!"

"I know," Shay said wearily. She looked very tense about something.

Frankie stared at the solo cup in Shay's hand. "Are you drinking? You never drink."

Shay just shrugged. "Me and Tiny kind of had a fight... needed something to take my mind off of it."

"But you don't drink," Frankie said again, like Shay was some five-year old.

"Whatever, Franks," Shay muttered, suddenly irritated with always having to be the "good girl" of the group. Frankie had freaking _chlamydia_ , yet here she was acting like Shay having a few sips of beer was the end of the world. "Where's Lo?"

"Upstairs with the baby," Frankie said. "Can you go get her, actually? We kinda need her help getting this under control."

"Yeah, sure," Shay mumbled. She turned to go back inside, taking her drink with her.

Frankie walked around the pool area, looking for people she knew. She recognized some of the kids from Degrassi but others looked like total strangers. Then, she spotted a familiar face in the sea of people. She groaned at the sight of the tall girl with the reddish-brown hair and red lipstick, who was coming her way. "What are you doing here, Zoe?" Frankie said, crossing her arms. "Here to crash my party?"

Zoe snorted a little. "Wait, this is _yours_? I heard Miles was throwing it."

"Well, he isn't," Frankie huffed, her words coming out a bit more hostile than she meant for them to. She and Zoe Rivas had a _lot_ of history- from being "besties" at the beginning of high school to the nightmare that was Degrassi Nudes. Even though Miles had insisted Zoe changed, Frankie still held a grudge against her for putting her through hell on Power Squad all those years ago. Though Frankie had to admit Zoe wasn't quite responsible for _all_ the bad between them- Frankie hadn't exactly been supportive of Zoe during her sexual assault trial. They'd both been crap friends.

Zoe sipped her drink, picking up on Frankie's hostility. "Look, I know I did some terrible things to you in high school," she said, barely making eye contact. "Believe it or not, I really am sorry for all the crap I put you through on Power Cheer. I should have apologized to you a long time ago."

Frankie raised her eyebrows. _Zoe Rivas_ was apologizing? That was a first. "Yeah, well, I should apologize to you too," Frankie said. "For the stuff I said to you during your trial."

Zoe shrugged, her face suddenly a bit pale at the mention of her assault. Frankie felt bad for bringing it up now, realizing Zoe probably didn't talk about it often. "Ancient history," Zoe muttered. "Anyway, where _is_ that dumbass older brother of yours? Wouldn't he flip about having the baby around these drunken idiots?" She stared at a group of wasted niners who were pushing each other into the pool, clothes on.

"Still at the movies I guess," Frankie said. "He's not answering his phone." She sighed. "And yeah, he _will_ flip. Probably even worse than when I dropped Hope."

Zoe stared at her, eyes wide. "You _dropped_ the baby?" she said, looking simultaneously amused and horrified.

Frankie didn't say anything to that. "So, will you help me get this party under control or not?"

Lola walked down the stairs with Shay, still carrying Hope. Yael had offered to watch her, but Lola still wasn't comfortable leaving Hope with anyone except for Miles and his mom. "Hope, if you ever throw a party like this in high school, Mommy will ground you for life," she muttered to the baby, who just sucked her thumb. Lola turned to Shay, suddenly noticing the solo cup in her hand. "Shay, you're _drinking_?"

"Why does everyone keep making a big deal out of it?" Shay said. "I drank beer at that one party last year."

"That was during never-have-I-ever. And you only had a few sips."

"Wait," Yael said to Lola. "Was _that_ the party where you and Miles-"

"Oh, look! There's Frankie now!" Lola interrupted, not wanting to keep rehashing the details of the night that resulted in Hope.

Frankie breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of her friends. "There you guys are!" she said. "Okay, here's what I'm thinking- Zoe and I can try and get people out of the pool, Lola, you pick up the solo cups and trash, Yael and Shay, you try and shut the music off."

"We'll try our best," Lola sighed, cradling Hope closely. _Dammit, where was Miles?_ She started picking up the half-filled solo cups off the floor, gagging a little at the mess. Hope started to fuss, probably frightened by all the noise and strangers. "Shh, Mommy's got you," she cooed, trying to comfort the tiny baby. She was busy rocking Hope back and forth when she spotted someone all too familiar. She gulped at the sight of slicked back black hair coming towards her.

Tristan hadn't planned on going to the Hollingsworth New Year's bash. Zoe had said they could probably sneak him in, that there would be so many people there that he probably wouldn't even have to interact with Miles. He'd gagged at the idea at first, insisting that he had more pride than to crash his stupid ex's stupid party.

But then something happened- Oliver broke up with him. "You're not over Miles," Oliver had said. "You can't stop talking about him... it's obvious, Tris. You're not over him." As much as getting dumped- _again_ , no less- stung, Tristan had to admit Oliver had a point. Maybe the reason he'd been so rude to Miles was because he really _wasn't_ over him. Hell, the whole reason he'd even dated Oliver in the first place was to try and get his mind off of Miles.

Tristan had never really liked Lola, even before she got involved with Miles. He found her too ditzy and immature and he was still a little bitter at her for ruining his Degrassi reunion showcase. Plus, Lo had always seemed to have a thing for Miles. She couldn't stop blushing around him and always said his name like " _Miiiiiles"_ with that annoying little girl voice. Once, Tris had even overhead her telling Shay she thought Frankie's brother was cute. He had a feeling she wasn't talking about Hunter.

When Miles first told him he got Lola pregnant, it absolutely crushed Tristan. It wasn't so much the fact that Miles cheated that bothered him so much. It hurt, sure- but a one-time hookup was something he could get past, maybe even kind of understand, given the extreme circumstances. But the pregnancy... that's what _really_ killed him. Because that meant that Lola was going to need Miles, was going to depend on him and share a bond with him for the rest of their lives. He couldn't stomach the thought of Miles having a kid with someone else, holding her hand through Lamaze class and buying baby clothes with her and tending to her every need. Tris couldn't stand the thought of anyone else having a piece of Miles' heart like that.

When Tristan returned to school and saw Lola and Miles together, it was every bit as awful as he'd imagined. He'd hoped Lola would at least be all fat and dumpy during the pregnancy, as petty as that was. But even with a baby bump, she was still as cute as ever, never failing to get her makeup done and always putting together the most fashionable maternity outfits a sixteen-year old possibly could. Tristan hated running into her in the halls, her baby bump a constant reminder of the boy who broke his heart. Tris had been rude to Lola on more than one occasion, but he kind of felt like she deserved it for stealing his man. He also really hated seeing Miles fuss over her so much, the way he should have been caring for _him._ Miles would follow Lo around school like a little dog, always opening the door for her, fetching her snacks, even giving her foot rubs.

And then when the baby was born last summer, Tristan only felt worse. It was bad enough having to see his Facerange feed filled with pictures of the baby and hear Zoe gush about how cute she was, but what really bothered him was how _happy_ Miles looked. Tristan's heart nearly stopped when Miles uploaded his first Hastygram post of the baby- he was holding that little pink thing in his arms, looking so in love. The part that stung the most maybe was the baby's name. Miles had written that play about _Tristan_ and Lola had the nerve to go and name their daughter after it?

And what the hell was with their engagement? Miles, who had dated dozens of people and probably cheated on half of them, was suddenly the king of commitment? Tristan didn't buy it- he knew Miles too well to believe he'd really be happy getting married at 18. So, Tristan had come to the party to see him, to tell him how he felt once and for all. If Miles was _really_ going to marry Lola- which Tristan still found absurd- the least he could do was give him some sort of closure.

"Tristan!" Lola cried now. She always looked so scared of him, like he was going to crush her like a bug or something. "What... what are you doing here?"

Tristan stared at Hope, a little shaken by how much she was beginning to look like Miles. "Just thought I'd drop by," he shrugged casually, like it was a perfectly normal thing to crash your ex's party. "Is Miles around?"

Lola shook her head frantically. "N-no," she said, rocking the fussy baby back and forth. _God, did that baby ever stop crying?_ "I've been trying to call him for over an hour, but-" She paused. "Wait. Why?"

"Just some things I need to say," Tristan said simply. He smirked. "Congrats on your engagement, by the way."

Lola turned scarlett red. "How- how did you-"

Just then, the door burst open. Miles ran inside, looking furious. "Lola, what the hell!" he shouted, rushing over to her. "Where did all of these people come from?"

"Ask _Frankie_ ," Lola muttered, handing the baby over to Miles. Hope cooed happily at the sight of her dad, clinging to Miles closely.

Miles suddenly noticed Tristan in the corner. "Tris!" he cried. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Tristan took a deep breath, starting to feel dumb for coming here in the first place. Like they were in a goddamn Nicholas Sparks movie. "We need to talk," he said.

Miles just shook his head laughing. "Uh, I don't think so," he said. "Last time we talked, you insulted my kid."

"Just give me two minutes," Tristan said. He glanced at Lola, then back at Miles. "You at least owe me that."

"Fine!" Miles shouted, handing the baby back to Lola. He'd learned awhile ago that Tristan didn't take no for an answer. He turned back as Tristan dragged him into the other room. "Lo, tell Frankie to call Mom. We need to shut this shitshow _down."_

Tristan shut the door behind them. Suddenly, he was nervous as hell. They hadn't been alone behind a closed door like this since... well, since Miles took his virginity.

Miles barely even looked at him. "What do you want, Tris?"

Tristan took a deep breath. "Miles, I-" He paused, just taking a second to stare at those green eyes he used to find so mesmerizing. "You can't marry Lola. You _shouldn't_."

Miles just scoffed. "Well, that's not really your decision," he said. "Is it now?"

"Why are you doing this?" Tristan continued. "You're _eighteen_. It just doesn't seem like you to commit so young. What, are you on drugs again or something?"

"Yeah, if I'm happy it obviously means I'm on drugs again," Miles rolled his eyes. "God, what is it with you people? Why can't you just let me be _happy_? I'm in love with Lola, Tris, get that through your head already!"

Tristan had to admit those words stung. He remembered the first time Miles had kind of said "I love you" to him two years ago by the pool. _The list of people I've been in love with is a lot shorter_. Now, Tristan didn't even have that. "Fine," he whispered. "Have fun playing house." He opened the door and followed Miles into the living room, getting ready to leave. He saw Miles rush over to Lola and the baby, Frankie and everyone around them. "Have a _great_ wedding, Miles!" he shouted on his way out the door.

Lola and Miles both turned bright red. So much for keeping the engagement a secret.

" _Wedding_?" Frankie shouted, looking shocked. "What do you mean _wedding_? Lo, Miles, you're _engaged_?"

"You _told_ him?" Lola said to Miles. "I told you I wanted to keep it a secret!"

Suddenly, the front door opened. Mrs. Hollingsworth walked into the house- she did _not_ look amused. "Everybody OUT!" she shouted. "Party's over! Dump your cups and go or I'll call your parents!"

Lola hung her mouth open, surprised by Mrs. H's boldness. In all the years she'd been best friends with Frankie, she'd never heard her use such an authoritative tone.

Frankie started to cry as all the guests scrambled to leave. "Mom, I can explain!"

Mrs. H didn't look at any of them. "We'll talk about this later. Get your shoes and let's go."

"Go?" Miles said. "Go where?"

"We need to get to the hospital. Your father's had a heart attack."


	107. Another Day

I'm glad the party was mostly well-received! Here's a random mid-week update (updates will still mostly just be on weekends). On a side note, I'm considering switching to a sequel after Hope's first birthday (same plot and characters, but with a slight time jump so we can see them all a little older). I have a LOT of ideas for adult Mola... I can just continue this current format if you guys prefer, though. Hope's still only six months right now, so no changes will happen for awhile anyway. As always, please let me know your thoughts! xx

 **Another Day**

Few things came to the Hollingsworth family as naturally as fighting. Miles could hardly remember a point in time when he and his dad weren't at odds with each other. Mr. and Mrs. Hollingsworth had a chaotic twenty years of marriage, to say the least. And the twins practically came out of the womb arguing with each other.

But as they drove to the hospital now, nobody said a word. Nobody was even bickering... _that's_ when you could tell that things were _really_ messed up. Even Hope seemed to have picked up on the silence, just lying in her car seat sucking her pacifier quietly and darting her little eyes back and forth between Miles and Lola.

It was Frankie who broke the silence first. "Mom, we didn't mean to-"

Mrs. H turned around briefly as they stopped at a red light. "Not. Another. _Word._ Francesca."

Frankie gulped. The full name card... her mom only used that when they were really in serious trouble. Lola shot her a sympathetic glance, having witnessed the Hollingsworth siblings get lectured and grounded plenty of times before. She wasn't sure if _she_ should be afraid of being grounded too... Diana wasn't her mother and Lola wasn't the one who threw the party, but she _was_ living under their roof still. And rules were rules...

Mrs. H sighed as she pulled into the hospital parking lot. "Your father had a mild heart attack in the dining hall a couple of hours ago. The doctors say he should be fine, but he might need surgery," she said to her kids, her voice low and even.

Hunter tugged on his hoodie nervously. "He's... he's going to be okay?"

Mrs. H didn't look at him. "Supposed to be, yes."

"They brought him to the hospital?" Frankie asked. "Like... out of prison?"

"It's just until the doctors clear him," Mrs. H said. "He's under surveillance and they'll immediately take him back to prison once... once he recovers." She buried her face in her hands, muttering something about how she could never catch a damn break.

Lola felt kind of awkward being in the middle of all of their family drama like this. She supposed she _was_ part of the family now because of the baby and all, but it still felt like she was butting into a situation not meant for her. "Um, Hope and I can just stay in the car while you guys go in," she offered timidly.

Miles, who had been quiet up until now, added, "I don't mind staying with the baby."

Mrs. Hollingsworth finally turned around, her face worn and wrinkled. Something told Lola that she was about two seconds away from completely losing it. On a mom level, Lola could kind of relate. " _Miles_ ," Mrs. H said, her voice so quiet it was almost a whisper through her gritted teeth. "Your father almost _died_."

Miles stared out the window, his face pale and his palms sweaty. "You said he was going to be fine," he muttered. He didn't want to hurt his mother, but the thought of having to go in there and see his father... it put knots in his stomach. He remembered the fight he and his mom had junior year when he didn't want to go to a family dinner. Miles thought they were past that point, that his mother understood his feelings and that, as an adult, he wasn't obligated to see him. It wasn't that he didn't care about his father, exactly. They were even on sort of okay terms ever since Miles visited him in prison. But forgiveness just didn't happen over night. Besides, the thought of having to go into a hospital _again_ made him feel like he was stuck by Tristan's bedside all over again.

Mrs. Hollingsworth let out a deep sigh, too tired to engage in an argument with him. "Fine," she mumbled, unbuckling her seatbelt. "Frankie. Hunter. Let's get inside." The twins piled out of the car quietly. Hunter just shook his head at Miles, wearing that look he always gave his older brother when he was tired of his shit. It was that same expression Hunter had when Miles skipped school for three days straight to smoke weed, that same one from when Miles yelled _"making out with my boyfriend!"_ to their dad as an excuse for being late to the family photoshoot. And it was the same look Hunter gave Miles when the "Lola's knocked up" rumor finally reached him. " _It's yours, isn't it?"_ Hunter had mumbled to him in passing, already well aware of the answer.

Hunter slammed the car door behind him, leaving just Miles, Lola, and the baby in the very backseat. Miles turned to Lola as she took Hope out of her car seat and into her lap. "So," he said, "are you ever gonna explain to me what exactly _happened_ tonight? It looked like a damn frat party in there."

"It wasn't my idea," Lola said, cradling Hope in her blanket- it was _way_ past her bedtime. Lola didn't even want to think about all the germs and vulgar language the baby had probably been exposed to tonight. "And are _you_ ever going to explain to _me_ why you told _Tristan_ about the engagement? I mean- _really_ , Miles?"

Miles shifted his eyes back towards the window, even though it was pitch black outside. "It wasn't on purpose," he muttered. "I ran into him while I was out buying your ring. I told him not to say anything, but..." He sighed. "Well. You know how Tris is."

"Yeah," Lola huffed, gently rubbing the baby's back as she closed her little eyes. "God, I just _knew_ Frankie would flip out."

"She hasn't really said anything yet," Miles mumbled. He started fidgeting, his palms shaking the way they always did when he thought about his father.

Lola noticed his trembling. "Um, are you okay?" she asked, reaching for his hand.

Miles didn't take her hand, still fixated on the window. "Do you think I'm a crappy son and brother for not being in there with them right now?"

"Well, I'm not really one to talk," Lola shrugged. "I moved out of my dad's and I haven't spoken to my mom in months." She sighed. "I'm not saying you should see your dad. But maybe... maybe you should at least go in the waiting room with your family? You know, for the twins and your mom?"

Miles didn't say anything for a minute. Then, he finally turned to look at Lola. "Will you go with me?"

"Yeah," Lola whispered. "Of course."

Frankie walked into the hospital wing, Hunter glancing at her as they followed their mother. It was strange, the way these twin instincts kicked in sometimes. They were never super close siblings, per say. Truth be told, Frankie hated being a twin a lot of time growing up- having to share a birthday, having the same classmates, always having people act so surprised that she and Hunter were nothing alike. But when these family crises came up, it was like they suddenly could tell exactly what the other was feeling.

Frankie barely recognized her father when she first saw him lying in the hospital bed. He looked very thin and he hadn't shaved in what looked like weeks. "There's my girl," he said, smiling weakly and apparently not taking the time to acknowledge that Hunter was right behind her.

"Hi, Dad," Frankie said quietly. She always felt conflicted about seeing him, honestly. He was still her father, but he had put their family through hell... especially Miles. She couldn't really blame her older brother for not wanting to come, to be honest. Speaking of Miles... he and Lola were _engaged_? Frankie didn't even know how to feel about that- there was just way too much happening at once.

"Hey," Hunter piped up, as if to say _Um,_ I'm _here too_. Mrs. Hollingsworth stood in the room with them, but kept her distance from her estranged husband.

Mr. Hollingsworth glanced around the room. "Where's Miles?"

Mrs. H took a deep breath, not really looking at him. "He's um, in the car with the baby."

Mr. H just shook his head. "I've never even _seen_ that baby," he muttered.

Frankie tried to change the subject "Um, so Dad..." she said, a little shaky. "What happened?"

"I don't really know," Mr. H said. "One minute I was in the dining hall eating dinner, the next I was waking up in this hospital bed." He sighed, clutching his chest. "The doctors are considering recommending open heart surgery, apparently."

Hunter's face went pale. "But couldn't that _kill_ you?"

"No one knows anything for sure yet," Mrs. H spoke up, not wanting the kids panicking. "They're still running tests."

"I just can't believe Miles isn't even _here_ ," Mr. H muttered, scowling.

"Speak of the devil, huh?" a voice said from the hall. Miles walked into the room, his body still trembling with nervousness. He stood by his mom, keeping his distance from the senior Miles Hollingsworth. "Lola and Hope are in the waiting room," he muttered to his mom, so she would know where they were. Mrs. H had been treating Lola more and more like one of her own lately, always wanting to know her plans and whereabouts.

"They don't have to stay out there," Mr. H said abruptly.

Miles almost snorted. "Yeah, I think they do." Ever since Hope was born- before that, even- he'd vowed to never let his dad see her. He wanted to keep the baby safe, and he certainly didn't trust his dad around her.

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Mrs. H said. "I almost _die_ and you still won't let me meet my granddaughter?"

"She's _my_ daughter," Miles snapped. "Okay? I decide who gets to be in her life."

"Miles..." Mrs. H started, kind of addressing both of them at the same time.

" _I'm_ here now, aren't I?" Miles said, walking closer. "Isn't that enough?"

Just then though, there was a faint cry coming from the hallway. "Um, Miles? Did you leave Hope's pacifier in your car?"

Miles turned around and sighed at the sight of Lola standing there holding the crying baby. "Lo, wait outside."

"But-"

"Wait. Outside. Please," Miles said through gritted teeth.

Lola's cheeks turned pink as she backed out into the hallway. "Okay, fine," she murmured.

"Miles, why don't you you go help her?" Mrs. H sighed, growing tired. "Actually, let's... let's all get some air." She turned to her husband. "I'll be back later to check in, alright?"

They went to the hospital cafe to grab some coffee. Everything in the building was pretty depressing, even the coffee shop. The room was cold and empty, only serving weak coffee and a few cold sandwiches. They all sat silently at the table, the only noise being Hope's occasional babbling.

"So, um," Lola said quietly, trying to break the silence as she rocked the baby back and forth, "he's going to be alright?"

Mrs. H tried to smile, but it came out like a weird half-grin, half-grimace. "Hopefully he doesn't need surgery," she said, stirring her coffee cup for the millionth time.

Frankie's phone went off. "Oh," she said, glancing at her cell. "It's officially midnight." She sighed. "Happy New Year, everyone," she shrugged.

"Yeah," Hunter muttered, scowling. "What a great start to it."

They were all quiet for a minute, then Mrs. H cleared her throat. "So," she said evenly, pursing her lips. "Who threw the party?" She glanced back and forth between each of the kids. "Who wants to tell me? Hmm? Because we're not leaving until one of you fesses up."

The kids all looked at each other for a minute, not sure whether they should stick together or rat each other out. Prisoner's dilemma, sibling edition.

Then, Hunter piped up. "It was Frankie and Lola!"

Frankie scoffed at her twin. Of course. He never had any loyalty. "Hunter!"

Lola rolled her eyes at Hunter. Like _he_ was so perfect. "Well, Hunter and Esme had sex in my bed!"

" _What_?" Frankie shouted.

Miles just groaned, looking equally disgusted. "Hunter, what the-"

"Miles and Lola are engaged!" Hunter blurted out.

The room went dead silent. Nobody said anything, not even Mrs. Hollingsworth. Only Hope made noise, starting to cry loudly.

Lola frantically tried to quiet the baby down. "Diana, I- Mrs. Hollingsworth... I can... I can explain..."

Mrs. H didn't look at any of them. Lola tried to read her expression, but she couldn't even tell if she was upset or mad or anything at all. "You know, it's been a long day," Mrs. H sighed, grabbing her purse. "Let's go home. We'll talk about all of this in the morning."


	108. Taking Off the Training Wheels

Hopefully all my regular viewers are still here- definitely would really appreciate reviews or just comments in general if you guys have time! Hoping this longer chapters on the weekends style works for you guys... Thoughts on the current chapters and the future sequel idea? xx

 **Taking Off the Training Wheels**

Lola stood in the Hollingsworth kitchen bright and early the next morning cooking every breakfast food she knew how to make. She finished cooking a batch of eggs and set out a plate of them with fresh coffee, nervously waiting for Diana to come downstairs. She had gotten up extra early to clean up the downstairs as best as she could from yesterday's party. She was hoping maybe she could bribe Diana into a decent mood this way.

Hope was sitting in her high chair looking uninterested in her baby cereal. She reached out towards Lola, whimpering a little. "You want out?" Lola said, trying to keep her voice down. "Okay," she sighed, lifting the baby out of her high chair. "Come here, you." She settled into the couch with Hope and kissed the top of the baby's forehead, quietly cooing to her in Spanish.

Hope started to cry, still hungry. Lola pulled down her pajama top and started to nurse her. She stared down at the baby and sighed, just thinking about how much life had changed over the past year. In just a few months, she had become a mother, moved out of her dad's, and gotten engaged. It was... a _lot_.

A couple of minutes later, Mrs. Hollingsworth finally came downstairs. "You're up early," she yawned. "Was the baby colicky again?"

"No, not... not really," Lola said quietly, still nursing Hope. "I made breakfast." She nodded over to the counter.

Mrs. Hollingsworth stared at all the food. "That's enough to feed us for days," she laughed. "Where did you learn to cook eggs so well? I tried to teach Frankie, but she always burns them."

"Oh, um, my dad," Lola said. "I used to help him out a lot at the Cantina." She felt a pang in her stomach at the thought of her father. Seeing Miles with his dad in the hospital last night made her miss her own father. She thought about how she would be a total wreck if it was _her_ dad lying in that hospital bed. Even though Lola still didn't want to go home, she still felt guilty for leaving him. On the rides to school at the end of last semester, she always made Hunter take the long route so she wouldn't have to see the Cantina and be reminded that her dad had named his restaurant after her all those years ago. They used to be like peas and a pod, her and her father. Now, they barely spoke.

Lola looked down at the baby and her mind flashed back to last year when she showed her father the picture of Hope's five-month ultrasound:

 _Lola rested on the couch after her doctor's appointment, scrolling through her Hastygram feed and waiting for her dad to get home. She couldn't help but reach into her pocket to look at the ultrasound picture again for the millionth time. She traced her fingers over the outline of the baby's head, still so mesmerized by it._

 _Just then, the door opened. "Mija, I've got dinner!" He walked into the living room carrying bags of takeout and barely looking at Lola. "Go wash up."_

 _Lola sat up slowly, clutching her stomach. "What kind of food did you get?"_

 _"Chinese," Mr. Pacini grunted, fixing his plate._

 _"Oh, good- I've been craving those cream cheese rangoons lately," Lola said. She got up and washed her hands at the kitchen sink. "But none of the spicy dishes for me- I've got killer heartburn." She joined her father at the table, still holding onto the ultrasound picture in her pocket._

 _"School going okay still?" Mr. Pacini asked. He always avoided talking about anything related to the pregnancy. Most of the time these days, he avoided talking at all._

 _Lola cleared her throat. "Well, school was okay," she said. "But, um... I had my ultrasound today." She couldn't help but smile, thinking back to how cool it was seeing the baby's cute little arms and legs move around. "It really_ looks _like a baby now, you know? And it's_ _totally healthy and everything."_

 _Mr. Pacini nodded, but didn't say anything, eyes focused down on his plate._

 _Lola knew he wasn't really listening, but she kept talking anyway. It was kind of a habit. "I didn't want to find out if it's a boy or a girl," she continued rambling. "I feel like that takes some of the excitement away, you know? Even though it would make it way easier to shop for... oh gosh, I don't even know how I would pick out boy outfits... and Miles has_ terrible _taste in fashion, I mean those salmon pants are..."_ _She stopped, realizing everything she was saying to her father was going in one ear and out the other. "Um, do you wanna see it?" she said, her voice suddenly quiet as she reached into her pocket. "The baby?" She slid the ultrasound picture across the table to her dad, not even waiting for him to answer._

 _Mr. Pacini took a deep breath as he stared long and hard at the picture. Lola watched anxiously, trying to read his expression. "Mija, you're just... you're still so young for this."_

 _"Yeah," Lola sighed. She didn't exactly expect her dad to jump for joy at the picture or anything, but the cold tone of his voice still stung. "I know." She didn't know what else she'd expected coming from her super traditional father._

 _She started to reach for the picture, only to watch as her dad quietly slipped it into his wallet. Lola smiled. So he_ did _care. Even if he didn't show it._

"Lola? Lola!"

Lola snapped back into reality as Mrs. H stood over her snapping her fingers. "Hmm?" Lola said.

"Did you hear what I just said?" Mrs. H said, taking a seat on the couch next to her.

Lola shrugged nervously. Hope started to cry, wanting to be burped. Lola patted her on the back and Hope let out a giant belch. Lola couldn't help but giggle a little.

Mrs. H sighed. "I said I want to talk to you about this engagement."

"Oh," Lola said, suddenly turning pale. "That."

"Yes, _that_." Mrs. H took a deep breath, trying to muster her thoughts into words. "Look, Lola. You know I already consider you a part of the family. But this engagement... it's not a good idea."

Lola sat up, a little hurt by the harshness of Diana's voice. She tried to think of a response, but she couldn't come up with anything, suddenly lost for words.

"You two are still _so_ young," Mrs. H continued. "You don't know the first thing about marriage, what a serious commitment it is."

Lola looked away from Mrs. H, wishing she could tune out what she was saying. Who was _she_ to be lecturing her on commitment anyways? She and Mr. Hollingsworth had been separated for years. "Well, so is having a _baby_ together," Lola pointed out, glancing down at Hope, who was just sucking her thumb quietly.

"And look how much that changed your lives," Mrs. H said, her voice firm. "You two just started getting used to parenting. Miles is barely eighteen and you're not even out of high school yet." She sighed again. "Look, I think you and Miles are good together. But he... he has a tendency to be a bit... _impulsive._ He doesn't always think of consequences before he acts-" She glanced over at Hope, as if to prove her point. "You two have only been together for what, less than a year? And Frankie tells me you two have broken up before. Lola, honey, that's not enough of a foundation for a marriage. Maybe someday, but... not _now_."

Lola got off the couch with Hope, not wanting to stick around to hear anymore. "I'm going to try and get the baby back to sleep," she muttered, hurrying up the stairs before Diana had a chance to add anything else.

Later that afternoon, Miles barged into Frankie's room. "Hey Frankenstein, did I leave my charger in here?"

"Haven't seen it," Frankie mumbled, barely looking up from her phone.

"Dammit, I can't find it anywhere," Miles said. He checked under Lola's mattress- nope, not there either. "So, uh... did Mom ground you for the party?"

"Basically for life," Frankie sighed. "Don't worry, I told her it wasn't Lola's idea." She took a deep breath, finally putting her phone down. "Are you guys seriously getting _married_?"

Miles just shrugged, like it was a casual question. "Yeah," he said. "I asked her on Christmas."

" _Christmas_?" Frankie cried. "You guys have been engaged since _Christmas_?" She muttered something under her breath about always being the last to know things around here, then tossed her phone aside and sat up to face her older brother. "So... why, exactly..?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I just... it just seems kinda sudden," Frankie shrugged. "Is it because of the baby?"

"No," Miles said quickly.

Frankie's cheeks turned pale all of a sudden. "Oh my god- is Lo _pregnant again_?"

"What? _No_!" Miles snapped. "Jesus, Frankie- how stupid do you think we are?"

"Well, _sorry_ ," Frankie muttered, rolling her eyes. "But you can't exactly blame me for being shocked. I mean, you're not exactly Mr. Commitment."

Miles scowled. "Now what's that supposed to mean?"

"Miles, come on," Frankie said. "You once dumped a girl because she sneezed weird."

"That was _once_ ," Miles said, almost laughing a little at the absurdity of the comparison. "I was like, twelve. I didn't have a _baby_ with the girl."

Frankie just sighed. "You already broke Lola's heart twice before," she said. "How do I know you're not going to do it again?"

" _Because_ , Frankie," Miles snapped, growing irritated. He didn't exactly have a rebuttal to all of these points, he realized to his disdain. "I love Lola, okay? She's different from everybody else I've dated." He paused. "Besides, I already gave her the ring."

Frankie raised her eyebrows. " _You_ picked out jewelry?"

"Well actually, Hope kinda did," Miles said, grinning a little. "Look, Franks. I'm committed to this. I'm not... I'm not gonna screw over your best friend. Not again." He sighed, taking a seat on the bed next to his sister. "So, can we have your support on this? Your, uh... blessing or whatever?"

Frankie thought for a second. "I guess it would be cool for Lo and I to be sister-in-laws," she said. "But Miles, I swear to god- if you hurt her again-"

"I _won't_ ," Miles interrupted, fidgeting a little. "Swear."

Frankie nodded quietly. "Okay," she said finally. She paused. "Man. Once Dad gets out of the hospital, he's going to _flip_." As much as the hopeless romantic in Frankie wanted to believe Miles had proposed to Lola out of love... a part of her worried it could just be another way to rebel, another way to piss off their dad and the rest of the Hollingsworth clan. Miles always seemed to find some way to rock the boat, from causing scenes at family dinners to showing up to functions completely smashed to calling the press to spill dirt on their father. He usually meant well, but... Miles was still _Miles_.

Given everything that had happened this past year though, this whole engagement business almost seemed minor compared to it all. Frankie thought back to last year when she first found out that Miles had gotten Lola pregnant:

 _The morning after she found out about Lola and Miles, Frankie sat in the kitchen quietly munching on her breakfast and trying to avoid eye contact with her older brother. Miles was acting like nothing had happened, whistling cheerfully as he poured himself a bowl of cereal and sat down next to his sister. "Morning, sis," he smiled._

 _Frankie didn't say anything, pretending to be busy texting._

 _"Hunter home?" Miles continued. "There's that new superhero movie playing at the mall- thought maybe the three of us could catch a show."_

 _"He's out with Mom," Frankie muttered, still not looking at her brother. "Besides, you know I hate action movies."_

 _"Then we can see something else," Miles shrugged, still wearing that stupid grin. "I hear some Ryan Gosling flick is playing too. Have to say, I wouldn't mind staring at that face for a couple of hours."_

 _Frankie finally put her phone down. "You really think you can bribe your way out of this one?" she said. "Miles, you_ knocked up my best friend _!" It wasn't even the first time he had fooled around with one of her girl friends. When she was in middle school, she had caught him kissing her "bffs" in the pool on more than one occasion. And then of course there was Zoe, who he'd spent half a summer banging. This_ always _happened; he_ always _stole her friends from her._

 _Miles wasn't smiling anymore "I'm not letting her go through it alone, okay?" he said. "I'm gonna be there for her. And the baby. Alright?"_

 _Frankie just shook her head. "Whatever. Nice going."_

Now, Frankie and Miles heard Lola yelling from the other room, "Guys! Oh my gosh, come _quick_!"

Miles and Frankie both immediately hopped off the bed. Shit, what had happened _now?_ Miles' heart started pounding at the thought of having to take Hope to the emergency room again. He and Frankie raced into the nursery, anticipating the worst.

"Oh my god!" Frankie cried.

Miles simultaneously gasped and breathed a sigh of relief at what he saw. Hope wasn't hurt- she was _crawling_!

Lola was just beaming, so giddy. "She was just lying on the floor on her tummy and then _bam!_ She started crawling!"

"I'll go get the video camera!" Frankie squealed, racing to the hall closet. "Mom, come quick!" she yelled towards the downstairs.

Lola leaned into Miles as they watched Hope crawl around the nursery floor. A tear streamed down Lola's face. "I can't believe our baby is growing up!" she whispered.

"Guess we'll need to babyproof the whole house now," Miles chuckled, eyes still glued to Hope. He walked over and kneeled on the floor next to the baby. "You're doing _amazing_!" He glanced up at Lola and smiled. It didn't matter what anyone else thought, he told himself. This, right here, with his little family- this was what he wanted. This was the way they were supposed to be.


	109. Family Portrait

I think the website was glitching and not sending out mail notifications for awhile- hopefully everyone's got the updates now! I was going to make this chapter longer but I feel like it's best if I break it up a little (next chapter will be more intense..) As always, please leave me a comment if you can! On a side note, I think the sequel will just be a 2 year time jump or so because I want to cover Hope's toddler years. Still not for awhile though xx

 **Family Portrait**

A few days later, it all started up again: school, work, the hectic schedules, and all of the draining tasks that came with everyday life. It was a new era in the Hollingsworth house. Miles was starting university, the twins and Lola were returning to Degrassi for their final semester of high school, and Hope was starting daycare.

At least, that's what was _supposed_ to happen.

Miles stood in front of the mirror fastening his collar and fixing his hair. This was a fresh start for him, a new chapter in his life. He wanted to make a good impression. And, if he was honest, he was excited to finally do something other than change diapers all day.

Lola came in carrying Hope on her shoulder. "You look nice," she said to Miles, standing on her tip-toes to give him a peck on the cheek. She turned to Hope and cooed, "doesn't Daddy look handsome for his first day of university?"

Miles smiled, giving Hope's tiny hand a little squeeze. "I'll miss you today," he said. "Both of you." He glanced around the room. "Where's Frankie and Hunter?"

"Oh, um, they both had meetings to go to early," Lola said, fidgeting a little. "So I'm just going to Uber Hope to daycare and meet them at school."

"You don't need to Uber," Miles frowned. "I'll drive you."

"No, it's okay," Lola insisted quickly. "I don't want you to be late on your first day."

Miles looked at her uneasily. "You sure?"

"Positive," Lola smiled. "Now, hurry up. I don't want you getting detention."

Miles shook his head laughing. "They don't give _detention_ at university, Lo."

Lola waited for Miles to leave the house, pretending to be busy getting Hope's diaper bag ready. Mrs. H was at the hospital all day today and Lola didn't have any classes with the twins, so no one would notice her not going to school. Simpson might call home, but she could probably just answer it herself- she was pretty good at imitating Diana's voice.

Lola hadn't _planned_ on not going back to school, exactly. She'd passed all of her classes last semester, much to her relief. But she still didn't feel right leaving Hope. She and Miles had spent hours the other day searching for the right daycare, but none of them seemed right to Lola. Sure, these people knew how to take care of babies- but they didn't know how to take care of _Hope_. They didn't know how she liked to be held a certain way, they didn't know her favorite lullabies, they didn't know how you had to burp her three times after she ate, they didn't know how she giggled if you tickled her under her chin.

Lola knew she couldn't keep up the charade forever- she would have to tell Miles and his mom eventually. But they had so much going on right now with Mr. Hollingsworth that she didn't want to burden them. She felt bad about lying, but she didn't know what else to do.

"Well, looks like it's just you and me, Hope," she said as soon as the coast was clear. "What should we do first?" She cradled the baby in her lap, tickling her under her chin gently to get her to laugh. But Hope started to cry and squirm, not wanting to be held. "Oh, you want to crawl around?" Lola said. "Okay." She set the baby on the floor, watching nervously as she crawled around the room. The entire house was baby-proofed, but Lola was still worried about Hope somehow hurting herself. She followed the baby around the room frantically trying to keep an eye on her. "No, no, don't put that in your mouth!" she cried as Hope picked up a tiny crumb. She scooped her into her arms and Hope started screaming. "Shh, it's okay, baby," Lola cried frantically. "It's- it's okay." But Hope just kept on screaming, wanting to get back on the floor. Lola sighed and let her down. Hope started crawling super quickly, so fast Lola could barely keep up with her. _Crap._ Hope wasn't a newborn anymore, Lola realized. She was growing up... and things were only going to get more challenging from here on out.

Meanwhile, Miles walked into his first lecture of the day: creative writing. He was relieved to be starting the day with a subject he knew so well. He had emailed Mr. Mitchell last semester about course recommendations- he was happy to hear Miles was back in school, even if it wasn't London Writers' Academy- and this introductory creative writing class seemed like the perfect place to start.

The class was much larger than Miles expected- there must have been hundreds of students. He couldn't help but be a bit intimidated as he took a seat in the back, feeling like he'd stumbled into a never-ending sea of people.

A thin brunette woman with glasses and a pointy nose walked up to the podium and cleared her throat. "Good morning, class," she said sharply. "Welcome to creative writing 101. I'm Professor Dawes and I'll be your instructor this semester. Now, to start off, I'd like you to-"

The front door swung open, one student stumbling in late for class and scrambling to find a seat. _Wait_ , Miles gulped as a familiar girl walked up the rows. _Was that..._

"So we meet again, Little Boy Blue. This seat taken?"

Miles groaned as Esme took the seat next to him. "Seriously? _You're_ in this class?" So much for a fresh start.

"No need to be rude," Esme muttered, raising her brow but still smirking a bit. "Trust me, I'd much rather be sitting next to your brother right now."

Miles tried to ignore that, shifting his eyes back to the lecture.

"For our first prompt," Professor Dawes continued, "I'd like you to write about what you're best at- a hobby or talent of some sort. Tell me about what you love to do, what you're passionate about, what you're good at." She set a timer for ten minutes and told them all to start writing in their journals.

Miles picked up his pen, but then sat there stumped. What was he best at? Um... fucking things up? Pissing off his dad? He tried to think of some talent, something that made him unique. It dawned on him that he didn't even really _have_ hobbies nowadays, no real interests or talents. Hell, the most interesting thing he'd done lately was change Hope's diaper.

Suddenly, the timer went off. "Time's up!" Professor Dawes said. "Pass your journals forward."

Miles stared at the blank notebook in front of him. How had it already been ten minutes? How had he not written anything?

"Writer's block, huh?" Esme said, glancing at his journal. She batted her eyelashes, adding, "Don't worry- it happens. Even to former teachers' pets."

Miles crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it into his backpack. He slumped back into his chair and sighed deeply. He'd been so excited to get back to the real world- but reality, as it turned out, was a bitch. He'd always thought he was a pretty decent writer, good enough to major in it in college, anyway. And it didn't hurt that he'd gotten lots of praise from his teachers and family for his short stories and play in high school. Miles would be lying if he said he hadn't let all that attention get to his head a little. After he got published in the local paper junior year, he smiled so much at dinner Hunter finally told him to wipe that "stupid, egotistical smirk" off his face. Granted, he was also high back then.

That evening, Mrs. H gathered Miles, Hunter, and Frankie at the dining room table to discuss Mr. Hollingsworth's condition. Lola sat in the living room quietly playing with Hope, kind of listening in but still wanting to give them space. She still wasn't exactly sure what her role was in these family situations.

"So," Mrs. H said, taking a deep breath. "The heart attack was a bit more severe than we initially thought. Turns out there was some damage to one of his heart vessels that needs to be repaired." She took another deep breath. "So, the doctors have recommended open heart surgery."

The twins turned to each other, both of their faces pale. Miles didn't make eye contact with any of them, just staring into space, his face white as a sheet and his body completely frozen.

"Is that really the only option?" Frankie piped up, her voice quiet and shaky. "Surgery?"

"It has almost a 98% success rate," Mrs. H said, trying to sound calm. "Recovery is intense, but..."

"What about the other 2%, though?" Hunter added. "Doesn't that mean something could go wrong?"

"There are risks with any surgery," Mrs. H said, her voice growing strained. "But this seems to be the best option. So, the surgery will happen Wednesday. We can all go by the hospital tomorrow and see him beforehand." She glanced at her oldest son, who had been silent. "Miles?" she said sharply. "Anything to add?"

"Hmm?" Miles said, still kind of in a daze. "No, uh- surgery, yeah, that's..."

Mrs. H just shook her head. "So, I can take the three of you to see him tomorrow after school," she said, shifting her eyes back towards the twins.

"Okay," the twins said in unison.

Mrs. H glanced back at Miles. "Miles?" she said, her voice even but strained. "Will you be joining us?" She was doing that "mom look," the look that said _I'm giving you a "choice," but I clearly expect you to pick the right one._

"Um," Miles stammered, tugging at his collar. Sweat was dropping down his face. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to block out the loud pounding of his heart. "I... I guess."

"Good," Mrs. H said immediately. "Then it's settled. We'll go tomorrow after school as a family."

That night when Mrs. H was out and Hope was asleep in her crib, Lola laid in bed with Miles and listened to him talk about his dad.

"I just _hate_ that I have to keep seeing him, you know?" Miles said, still worked up. "It's not that I don't care, I just..." He shook his head, laughing a little under his breath. "It just _sucks,_ you know?"

"Yeah," Lola sighed, leaning into his chest. "I totally get what you mean." She traced her fingers around her diamond ring, which she'd slipped on after Mrs. H left. She'd finally shown Frankie the ring the other day- Frankie squealed and said she was pleasantly surprised by Miles' ability to pick out jewelry. _We're going to have the same last name!_ Frankie cried giddily.

"I'm glad I can talk to you about these things, Lo," Miles said, rubbing her back. "I could never talk to Tristan about my family like this." He smiled a little. "I'm just glad we can be honest with each other."

Lola gulped a little, feeling guilty at his mention of "honesty" when she'd just lied to him this morning about school. "Yeah," she said, trying to force a smile. "Me... me too."

Hope started to cry through the baby monitor. "I'll go get her," Lola sighed.

"Let me come with you," Miles said, hopping off the bed with her. "I haven't seen her much today." He smiled, teasing, "I missed our little brat."

Lola rolled her eyes. "Don't call our baby that!" she gasped, elbowing him but laughing.

They went into the nursery where Hope was crying in her crib. "What's the matter, sweetie?" Lola said, lifting her out of her crib and bouncing her on her shoulder. "You hungry? You need your diaper changed?" Just then, Hope stopped crying, just leaning into Lola and letting out soft cooing noises.

"Will you look at that," Miles muttered, grinning. "I think she just missed us."

Lola smiled and settled into the rocking chair, cradling the baby back and forth. "Who do you think she looks like more?" she asked Miles.

Miles stood over them, gently brushing his fingers against Hope's hair. "I don't know," he said, smiling. "I think she's a pretty good mix of us two. She's got your hair and eyelashes, my eyes and cheekbones..."

Lola nestled the baby against her chest. "Yeah," she whispered. "She's ours."


	110. Little Boy Blue

I think this is my longest chapter yet; it's not perfect but I'm pretty proud of it and think it's one of my best Miles ones. Thank you again for your reviews; nice to see some of my regular readers back! Let me know what you all think xx

 **Little Boy Blue**

Miles woke up the next morning to Lola lying on his chest and yawning. "Morning," Miles whispered groggily. "Did you fall asleep in my bed _again_?" he chuckled.

"Guess so," Lola giggled. "Oh my gosh, I just realized- Hope never woke us up _once_ last night! That's the first time she's ever slept through the night."

Miles grinned and planted a kiss on Lola's cheek. "That's a nice change," he sighed, relieved. "By the way, I forgot to ask... how did her first day of daycare go yesterday?"

Lola's cheeks went slightly pale, her fingers trembling a little. She hated lying to Miles like this, but telling him the truth about not going back to school somehow seemed a million times scarier. Not because she was afraid he would be mad, but because she was afraid he would be disappointed in her. She could deal with disappointing her dad, her mom, her friends... but disappointing Miles was something she just couldn't handle. "Um, it was fine," she said quickly. "She uh, cried a little when I handed her over. But that's normal I guess..." Her voice trailed off as she turned away.

"I'm sure she was fine," Miles said reassuringly, gently brushing Lola's cheek. "I'm proud of you, you know? I know it wasn't easy for you to let her go. But I'm glad you didn't give up on school."

"Speaking of school," Lola said, trying desperately to redirect the conversation. "How was your first day of university? You didn't tell me much about it."

Miles' expression suddenly changed. "Honestly?" he said. "I hated it. Well, I hated my creative writing class at least."

Lola sat up. "What?" she said, surprised. "Why? I thought that was your favorite subject."

"So did I," Miles muttered glumly. He sank into his pillow, scowling. "Turns out, I'm crap at it. I couldn't even think of _one_ thing to write."

Lola pulled him up so they could sit face to face, something she always did with Frankie or Shay or Yael when they were down on themselves. "Just because you had writer's block doesn't make you a crappy writer," she said, holding his hands tightly. "I read your story in the paper two years ago, you know. "Taking Off the Training Wheels?" I thought it was good, even back then. I didn't really... I didn't even _know_ the story behind your dad yet. But your story, it still made me feel something. And the play last year? Everyone loved it, you poured your whole heart into it." She sighed, squeezing his hands a little tighter. "You're not a crap writer, Miles. And I don't ever want to hear you say that again." She raised her eyebrows sternly, giving him that "mom" type of look. There was a reason she was known as the mom friend long before Hope came along.

Miles just sighed. "What if I'm not good enough?"

"You _are_ ," Lola insisted. She looked down and added quietly, "and if it wasn't for me, you'd probably be in London right now."

Miles shook his head. "Will you stop?" he said. "I'm _glad_ we have Hope, okay? And besides, I didn't even want to go to that school anyway- I hear they don't even sell iced coffee in England." He chuckled, giving Lola that cute, boyish smile she'd always found so charming. He brushed her chin gently, trying to get her to smile back. "Come on," he teased. "Don't be sad, _be yappy."_

Lola giggled. "You really remember that oomfchat from last year?"

"Of course," Miles said, still grinning. "You were always the highlight of my day, Lo. Still are."

Lola leaned in and kissed him, just savoring the feeling of his lips on hers for a moment. Even after all this time, those kisses still made her feel so safe and secure. "I should go get the baby," she said, giving him one more peck on the cheek. "I'll ah, see you tonight?"

Miles sat there for a moment. "Actually, Lo? Would you mind coming with us to the hospital when we go after school today?" He shrugged quietly. "It's just nice to have you there with me. You know, someone who actually gets what it's like between me and my dad."

"Sure," Lola said immediately. "Yeah. Of course."

Miles sighed and leaned back into his pillow, pulling Lola into his chest again. "Thanks, Lo," he murmured. "I feel like... I feel like you're the only one who ever really _got_ me. I wasted so much time trying to be what everyone else wanted. But now with you, it's like... I can finally just be myself." He fumbled his fingers through her bouncy blue curls. "It's kinda nice," he added quietly, giving her that boyish grin again.

Lola couldn't help but let her cheeks turn rosy again. "Yeah," she whispered as he traced his fingers over her bare stomach. "It is."

Just then, a soft whimper grew louder and louder through the baby monitor. " _Aaand_ right on time," Lola laughed.

Lola got a ride from Miles to the daycare place, then persuaded him to let her Uber to school from there, insisting that she didn't want to make him late. Of course, she never actually dropped Hope off. She just went around to the back exit to make it _look_ like she was going in and then waited for Miles to drive off. She told him that she would just meet him at the hospital later after school. He didn't seem to notice anything yet, which made Lola feel simultaneously relieved and guilty.

Afterwards, Lola spent the day just hanging out around town with Hope and trying to keep a low-profile. Somehow, Frankie and Shay hadn't noticed her missing school yet. That didn't surprise her too much- they weren't too observant. After all, those two were probably the only ones who didn't catch on to her and Miles' affair last year. And people said _Lola_ was the dumb one.

Around lunchtime, Lola found herself straying towards her father's restaurant. She didn't _plan_ on going there, exactly. And it was stupid, she knew- after all, he could tell on her for not going to school. But hearing Miles talk about his dad so much lately made her miss her own father. She'd had a dream last night that she had to walk herself down the aisle at her wedding. Lola wasn't ready to tell him about the engagement yet- or at least, if Diana or someone hadn't blabbed already- but she still didn't want to risk that nightmare becoming a reality.

Trembling a bit, she opened the front door of the cantina and pushed Hope's stroller inside. Hope was starting to get fussy- this was usually her nap time. Lola sighed and lifted the baby out of the stroller, cradling her on her shoulder and rubbing her back to try and comfort her. Lola tried to picture her own father doing these things with _her_ as a baby all those years ago- comforting her, reading to her, spending long nights with her in that same old rocking chair she used with Hope. She thought about how protective of Hope she felt, how much she cared about her, how she loved her more than anything. Lola wondered if her dad still felt the same way about _her_.

Mr. Pacini walked out from behind the counter, looking shocked to see her. They hadn't seen each other since before Christmas. " _Lola_ ," he said, his voice quiet and a little shaky. "What are you doing here, Mija?"

"I um, was just on my lunch break from school," Lola said quickly. God, the lies just kept rolling off her tongue. It scared her a little, how comfortable she had become with fibbing like this. "It's been awhile, so I thought maybe I'd... _we'd_ -" She glanced at Hope, who had settled down and was clinging to Lola, just quietly sucking her thumb. "-say hi."

"Well... hi," Mr. Pacini said. He put his arms out to hold the baby. Lola hesitantly handed her over, only for Hope to start to cry.

"Oops," Lola cried, taking the baby back. "She's a little shy sometimes." She winced, realizing she'd just implied that her own father was a stranger.

Mr. Pacini shrugged, but his eyes looked sad. "She's gotten so big," he said, eyes still glued to Hope.

Lola tried to smile. "Yeah," she said weakly. "She actually, um, she actually started crawling just last week." She loosened up a little, adding, "I wasn't expecting it at all. I was just playing on the floor with her and then she just started _crawling_! I thought she wouldn't be there for another month or two... I guess she's a fast learner."

Mr. Pacini smiled a little. "You were the same age, you know," he said. "You started crawling around six-and-a-half months too. I remember it like it was yesterday." He paused, his expression turning serious again. "Why won't you come home already, Mija? It's been months."

Lola just shook her head, not looking at her father. "You know I can't," she said, rocking Hope back and forth. "I can't be around Mom. It's not good for me. Or Hope."

"Um, actually," Mr. Pacini muttered, scratching his head. "I need to talk to you about that." He took a seat at a table, pulling out a chair for her.

Lola remembered all the long summer days and weekend evenings she'd spent waiting these tables, fetching orders, tending to customers. She'd never complained about needing to help out with the family business. Working at the restaurant was one of the few things she knew she was good at- or at the very least, that she wasn't horribly stupid at. All those dumb blonde jokes her friends made... they got to her after awhile. The cantina was one of the few things in her life that had never let her down, but even that was taken from her eventually. She'd tried to keep helping out her father by waiting tables and taking orders. But when she was around six months along and her baby bump stuck out like a sore thumb, more and more customers started staring and gossiping. Lola knew her father was embarrassed. One day when she was having a particularly hard time carrying all the heavy stacks of trays and dishes, her belly throwing off her balance, her dad told her to just go home and rest. He'd tried to sound nice, but the way he said it... the way he shook his head and sighed afterwards... it just had disappointment written all over.

"So," Mr. Pacini cleared his throat. "You know the divorce was never finalized, right?"

"Um, yeah?" Lola shrugged, cradling a squirming Hope. "I guess."

"Well," Mr. Pacini said, taking a deep breath, "now that she's back for good... we've decided not to go through with the divorce."

Lola sat up straight. "She's back for _good_?"

"Let me finish," Mr. Pacini said sharply. "Look... I know this may not make sense to you. I know she left us all those years ago and I know our marriage was less than perfect, but..." He bit his lip, strumming his fingers across the table. "We're trying to get our family back together. So... we're going to renew our vows next month. And I'd really appreciate it if you were there for the ceremony. You and Hope."

Lola pressed her hand to her forehead. "Ay dios mio..."

Mr. Pacini got up from the table. "I've got to get back to work," he said, patting Lola on the shoulder. "I... I hope you'll come home soon, Mija." He gave Hope's little hand a tiny squeeze, adding, "Hasta luego, Pequeña."

Miles pulled into the hospital parking lot that afternoon to meet his family, butterflies fumbling around in his stomach. For the amount of time he'd spent here the past two years, they really ought to give him frequent flyer miles at this place.

He walked into the waiting room and found his siblings and Lola, who had Hope cradled in her lap. "Oh, I didn't realize you were bringing the baby," Miles said.

"Yeah," Lola shrugged. "I um... I don't like to leave her if we don't have to, you know?"

Miles scooted in next to Lola, sitting in between her and Frankie. He took Hope into his arms and nestled her against his shoulder, remembering just how nice it felt to cuddle the tiny baby. "Baa waa," she cooed, smiling at her dad.

Miles smiled back, then turned to Lola. "Just uh, don't bring her in my dad's wing," he muttered. "I don't want her around him."

Hunter rolled his eyes. "You always have to bring your drama, don't you?"

Miles glared at him. "Excuse me for not wanting my daughter around a _criminal_."

"Okay, knock it off you two," Frankie intervened, growing tired of her brothers always bickering. "Look, if we want to see Dad, we'd better go now." She turned to her brothers as she got up, waiting for them to join her.

Miles took a deep breath, bracing himself to see his father again. Even after all this time, it still put knots in his stomach. He glanced at Lola and Hope for reassurance. Having them here was really the only thing stopping him from having a nervous breakdown. He leaned in and kissed Lola, then gave Hope a quick peck on her cheek, which made her giggle.

Miles followed his siblings to the hospital wing where their dad was lying in bed in his gown. He looked like he'd grown even thinner and paler since the other week, almost resembling a ghost. It sent shudders down Miles' spine.

Mrs. Hollingsworth was already there by her husband's side, looking a little pale herself. "Oh good, you're all here," she said, looking at Miles especially.

"How are you feeling, Dad?" Frankie asked.

"Not too bad," Mr. H shrugged. "But the damn nurses haven't let me eat all day."

"You have to fast before your surgery, dear," Mrs. H said. It made Miles kind of sick to see his mother hover over his father like this. As if they weren't separated, as if he hadn't cheated on her, as if he hadn't left bruises on her wrists.

Mr. H turned to Miles. "Ah. Miles," he said to his oldest son. "I was hoping to talk to you about something."

Miles just nodded stiffly, barely looking at his father. "Go ahead," he mumbled.

Mr. H cleared his throat. "Well, as you all know, the surgery has a 98% success rate," he said. "But the other 2%... well... it's a possibility. So in the event that anything should happen to me, I've made some... _adjustments_ in my will."

" _Dad_ ," Frankie sighed, looking sick. "Don't talk like that."

"You know you all have trust funds," Mr. H said, glancing between his three children. "Which you're not allowed to access until you're 25-" He turned to Miles. "But, Miles, seeing as you have a daughter now... I've changed the terms."

Miles just stared at him. "Huh?"

"I want you to be able to take care of your child," Mr. H continued. "You've really been there for Lola and Hope. You're a good father, Miles. So, I've called my lawyers and gotten them to start changing the terms of the trust so you can access it now instead."

Miles froze. "You're kidding me," he said, not believing his ears. Was this just some kind of bribe? Just another way to get him to do what his father wanted?

"Like I said," Mr. H said. "I want you to be able to take care of her. So, you can access your trust starting next week. Put it to good use."

"I... I don't know what to say," Miles said shakily. "Um... thank you..."

Mr. H just shrugged, like it was no big deal. "Yes, well," he said quickly. "I want to leave my granddaughter in good hands."

Miles paused for a second. The surgery had a 98% success rate, sure, but... his father looked so weak. So pale and thin. Helpless, almost. "Wait here," he muttered, turning to head out the door. "I'll be right back."

As Miles walked down the halls, he thought of all the long days and nights he had spent here by Tristan's side. He thought of how numb he had gotten to the pain, how he had grown used to the strange mix of life and death between these hallways. A couple of weeks after Lola had told him about the pregnancy, back when he hadn't quite worked up the courage to break the news to Tristan yet, he stopped by the maternity ward on his way out after visiting Tris:

 _Miles walked through the halls glumly, cursing himself for still being too cowardly to tell Tristan the truth. He knew he had to tell him about the baby sooner or later, but it was hard when he was still processing the news himself. As hard as he tried, he just couldn't picture himself with... a_ baby.

 _He paused and glanced at the hospital directory. Somehow, he found himself heading towards the nursery. He couldn't explain why his feet were carrying him in that direction. He just knew he had to get himself to face reality somehow, get used to the idea of a baby._

 _He walked into the maternity ward and immediately felt beyond out of place as a seventeen-year old boy amongst all these pregnant women and new parents in their thirties. Still not entirely sure of what he was doing, he stumbled over to the nursery area and pressed his face against the glass._

 _He stared at all the newborn babies. Some of them were sleeping peacefully, others were crying hysterically. He watched intently as a new father rocked one of them back and forth, trying to comfort the tiny baby. Miles tried to picture himself here with Lola in seven months doing that exact same thing, but he just couldn't. It felt surreal to even just look at these babies, to realize his own would be here in just a matter of months. He was responsible for another life now, he realized nervously. And he was scared to death about it._

Miles felt that same vague sense of nervousness and fear as he walked back into the waiting room and saw Hope lying in Lola's arms. He stared at the tiny baby and thought about how much she had changed in the past few months, how much she would continue to grow. He didn't want his father to be a part of Hope's life, but... he didn't want to hide her from him forever, either. He still wouldn't let his father hold her or anything. But maybe it wouldn't hurt to let him at least _see_ her. Just this once.

"Hey," Lola said, looking surprised to see him back so soon. "What's up?"

"Mind coming back with me for a sec?" Miles asked, taking her hand. "I think I want you and Hope there with me."

Miles led them down the hall and walked in to his father's room, keeping his arm around Lola protectively. He took Hope from Lola's arms, cradling her tightly and keeping her close to his chest. "Dad," he said quietly, bringing the baby near his father, "Meet Hope."

Mr. Hollingsworth stared at the baby. He glanced back and forth between Hope and Miles, as if trying to process that his oldest son was really a father. "She has your eyes, Miles," he said. "She's beautiful, son."

Lola took Hope back into her arms nervously, still as protective of the baby as ever. "Um, thank you, Mr. Hollingsworth," she said sheepishly, not quite sure how to act around the senior Miles Hollingsworth.

Mrs. H glanced at her watch. "Well, visiting hours are almost over," she sighed. "We should let your father get some rest."

Frankie hugged her dad, crying and making him promise to be okay. Hunter gave him a small hug. Miles didn't hug his father- that wasn't comfortable yet, maybe never would be- but they gave each other a nod, acknowledging... _whatever_ this state between them was.

Miles put his arm around Lola as they walked out the door. "Thanks for coming with me," he said, glancing between her and Hope. "Both of you."


	111. Thunderstruck Again

I'll be completely honest: this is kind of a filler chapter. I've had a super stressful week with family drama and school stuff, so after the last chapter I really needed a break from heavy stuff. So, I decided to try my hand at writing a more domestic-type scene. I hope you guys like it okay! The Hunter/Esme storyline will be back soon; I definitely have an interesting idea for them. Thank you again for your reviews- I can't tell you how much your comments mean to me!

 **Thunderstruck Again**

"Lola, I feel stupid."

"Come on Miles, don't be such a wet blanket!"

Lola and Miles sat on the floor with Hope on a rainy Saturday afternoon, the baby lying on her mat looking back and forth between her mom and dad and cooing away. It had been a chaotic week, to say the least. Mr. Hollingsworth was still in recovery from surgery, so things were pretty tense around the Hollingsworth house. More than anything, Lola just wanted to see Miles smile.

"Okay, okay, I'll try it," Miles sighed, rolling his eyes. He lifted Hope's shirt up and gently blew air onto her tummy, making a funny sound and landing spit on Lola. Hope shrieked with giggles, smiling from ear to ear.

"Told you she loves it," Lola smiled. She scooped the baby into her arms and covered her with kisses. "She's always been really responsive to noises- when I was pregnant with her, I felt her get startled every time Fernando barked. You should have seen what happened this one time when the cable went out... my dad was trying to fix the TV himself, yelling and cursing in Spanish every time he screwed up. My belly moved like crazy at the noise... she was like... a _kangaroo_."

Miles chuckled. "I bet she gets that from you," he chuckled. "You practically jumped off the sofa when Mom used the vacuum cleaner the other day."

"That was _once_!" Lola protested. "And only because I was in the middle of finishing my makeup. _You_ try perfecting your eyeliner wings while breastfeeding a baby."

"I think it's safe to say I'll never need to know how to do _either_ of those." Miles shook his head, grinning as he watched the two of them play. He walked up to the window and pressed his face against the glass. "It's coming down pretty hard," he said to Lola. "I hope the twins get home okay." Lola smiled a little at the protectiveness in his voice. He'd always been a caring older brother- even if he and the twins fought constantly, Lola knew he would give up an arm and leg for either of them without a second thought. But ever since Hope was born, he'd really shifted into "dad" mode. He was always reminding his siblings to pack their lunches and, in his own words, telling them "not to fuck up too badly at school today."

Just then, the front door slammed. "God, I'm _soaked_!" Hunter groaned, dripping water all over the carpet. Lola couldn't help but giggle at his hair, which looked like a raggedy, wet mop.

"I _told_ you to bring a raincoat," Frankie tsked to her twin, rolling her eyes as she hung up her coat.

"Why?" Hunter said. "Miles clearly doesn't wear one." He nodded towards the baby and laughed at his own dumb joke.

Miles just shook his head. "Okay, you two, shut it," he said, lifting Hope off the floor and into his arms. She waved her little hands around, trying to grab her dad's shirt collar. "Mom's at the hospital again, so I'm in charge of dinner tonight. What do you want?"

" _You're_ in charge?" Frankie laughed. "In that case, how about takeout?"

"Come on, I'm not that bad of a cook!" Miles insisted. Hope kept on tugging at his shirt collar, trying to climb him like a monkey. "Settle down there, Princesa," he cooed to her.

Lola smiled at his Spanish. "Not bad- you're learning."

Miles grinned, shifting Hope to his other shoulder. "Alright, fine- we'll order takeout. What do you all want?"

"Pizza," Frankie said instantly.

"Burgers," Hunter said the same time. The twins groaned simultaneously, turning and glaring at each other.

Miles laughed. "Charades?" he winked at Frankie.

" _Charades_ ," Frankie and Hunter sighed.

Lola looked at them in confusion. "What-?"

"Oh, it's what we do when we need to settle a disagreement," Frankie explained. "We've done it since we were little kids fighting over the TV."

Lola nodded, giving Frankie a smile but feeling kind of out of place. Even though she had been living with Miles' family for a couple of months now, there was still a vast collection of Hollingsworth traditions and norms she had yet to learn. No matter how well she thought she knew Miles and Frankie, there were still new discoveries that surprised her: like how Frankie occasionally sleepwalked when she was stressed or the odd, annoying way Miles twisted the toothpaste bottle after using it. Living with their family was like learning a whole new language with all its rules and loopholes and inside knowledge.

Suddenly, there was a loud boom. The lights went out, leaving the living room in a pitch black state. The only flicker of light was a quick ray of lightning flashing through the window.

Hope immediately began to cry, startled by the sudden darkness. "Crap," Miles said, rocking the frightened baby back and forth. "Guess the power's out."

"Right as we were about to play charades, too," Frankie muttered, shaking her head. "Deja vu, huh?"

Lola looked at her quizzically. Once again, she was out of the loop.

"Oh, um, remember that big storm our freshman year?" Frankie said, picking up on Lola's confusion. "We were in the middle of playing charades at our place when it happened. It was me, Miles, Winston, Trist-"

Frankie went quiet, seeing the look on both Lola and Miles' faces at the mention of Tristan's name. Tris and his relationship with Miles was, and always would be, a sore subject.

"Anyway," Miles cleared his throat awkwardly, handing the crying baby over to Lola. "Let's light some candles."

"Already on it," Hunter said, opening a box of matches. He lit a row of candles and set them on the coffee table.

The thunder boomed again. Hope shrieked at the loud noise. "Shh, it's okay, Hope," Lola whispered, rubbing the baby's back. "Poor baby," she sighed, turning to Miles. "She's so scared of the sound of thunder."

"Um, you're the one who's all shaky," Miles pointed out, eyeing the goosebumps on Lola's skin, along with her trembling hands.

"No, I'm not!" Lola cried defensively.

Frankie laughed, noticing too. "Don't lie, Lo- you're a total scaredy cat," she rolled her eyes. "You literally _shriek_ every time we have a fire drill."

" _Lies_!" Lola protested, her cheeks turning bright pink. "Virgos don't get scared!"

They all gathered around the couch with blankets and pillows, huddling together for warmth. "I have an idea," Frankie said, walking towards the bookcase. "Let's look at family photos!" She pulled out a stack of albums, nearly dropping them on her way back to the couch.

Hunter groaned. He was never one for forced family activities. "Do we _have_ to?"

" _Yes_ ," Frankie insisted, plopping herself in between Miles and Lola. She opened up an album, shining a flashlight on the photos.

Lola stared at the baby pictures. "Miles, is that _you_?" she giggled. There was a picture of a newborn baby boy with rosy cheeks and a bush of thick brown hair. He was lying in a small blanket and sticking his tongue out a little, like he was making a face at the camera.

Miles chuckled a little. "Yeah, that was when my parents first brought me home from the hospital. I'm told I was kind of a little shit- wouldn't stop crying for a week straight." Hope whacked the baby picture, giggling along with them.

Frankie turned the page to a picture of the three Hollingsworth siblings. Frankie and Hunter were babies- no more than a couple of weeks old- and lying next to a toddler Miles on a giant quilt. They were all wearing color-coordinated outfits and all three siblings were crying, Miles' face the reddest of them all. Miles couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I wasn't too fond of you two at first."

Lola frowned as Frankie flipped through the pages, noticing something troubling. "Wait," Lola said. "Miles, there's only a few pictures of you. Why are there like, a million of the twi-" She stopped herself there, feeling the tension in the room and realizing she was stumbling into a sore subject.

"Let's just say Dad wasn't exactly subtle about his... preferences," Miles muttered, shifting his eyes away from the photo album.

Lola just sat there quietly, not knowing what to say. She didn't have siblings of her own, so she'd never really had to deal with the whole favoritism thing. Looking at Hope now, she couldn't comprehend how someone could treat one of their own children so poorly.

Frankie quickly flipped the page, trying to move past the tension. "Oh, look!" she said, pointing to a picture of a golden retriever. "There's Roscoe!"

"You had a dog?" Lola asked Miles, surprised. "You never told me."

"Yeah," Miles shrugged, looking at the photo of the puppy and smiling a little. "We had him for a few years back when I was in grade school. He was our Christmas present." He sighed.

"What happened to him?" Lola said, noticing the sliver of sadness in Miles' voice.

"Oh, um, Dad made us give him away," Miles muttered. "It was my job to walk him and I kept forgetting... Dad said if I didn't step up to my responsiblities, the dog would have to go, so..." He trailed off, not looking at Lola.

"Man, I remember that," Frankie sighed to Miles. "I cried for a whole weekend straight and then screamed that I hated you and that it was your fault Dad took Roscoe away." She winced a little. "Sorry about that. But in my defense, I was seven."

Lola just shook her head. "You never told me you had a dog."

Miles shrugged. "What does it matter, Lo?"

Suddenly, the lights flickered and the room brightened up. The power was back on. Hope squealed happily, clapping her little hands together.

"Thank god," Hunter said. "Now we can finally order burgers."

"You still haven't beat me at charades!" Frankie reminded him, tsking.

But a couple of minutes later, the front door slammed and Mrs. Hollingsworth walked in. "I'm home!" she yelled. "I brought pizza!"

" _Yes_!" Frankie stuck her tongue out at Hunter.

Mrs. H set the pizza boxes down on the kitchen counter, her boots getting water all over the carpet. "It's a nightmare out there," she muttered. She glanced at the twins and Lola. "Is all your homework finished?"

Lola didn't look at her. "Um, yeah," she said quietly along with the twins. It wasn't the first time she had fibbed about not doing homework, but this felt different. It was one thing to lie to her dad, but to lie to _Diana_... it left a weird feeling in her stomach. Lola wondered how long she would be able to keep this up.

But Mrs. H didn't seem to notice anything suspicious. "Good," she nodded. "Now, go wash up for dinner."

Lola walked over to the window, carrying Hope against her shoulder. "Look, baby," she cooed, holding her up to the window. "There's a _rainbow_."


	112. Little Talks

Hey everyone, hope you all had a good week. This chapter is pretty Hunter-centered. Next chapter will get back to more Mola. I don't feel like this one is overall one of my bests, but I think it has some good moments. Let me know what you think- I'll try and post another chapter later this weekend xx

 **Little Talks**

"Here. _Hurry up_." Hunter tossed Esme's clothes at her and quickly rushed to zip up his pants, sweating nervously. He glanced out the window and breathed a sigh of relief- the driveway was still empty.

Esme laid back onto Hunter's bed, giving him that signature troublemaker smirk. "I don't know," she said, holding up her black lace bra like she was daring him to grab it. "I kind of like going braless. It's so... _progressive_."

"Esme, I swear to god..."

Esme shook her head smiling. "You're really that afraid of Mommy coming home and catching you?" she teased.

"Something like that," Hunter mumbled. Truth be told though, his mother wasn't his primary worry. Sure, he didn't want his mom to walk in- but he was more concerned about Miles coming home and sticking his nose in Hunter's business like he always did. The day after the New Year's debacle, he had plopped down next to Hunter at the dinner table, put his arm around him, and said, "So... good sex?" Miles had put on a Ward Cleaver-type face like he was about to give his little brother some fatherly advice, but then burst out laughing. _"Hand-me-downs, amiright?"_

"That's too bad," Esme muttered, still fumbling with her bra in her hands. "Because I was really up for round two." She reached into her purse and pulled out another condom, batting her eyelashes.

Hunter glanced at his phone. His family wouldn't be home for another twenty minutes... that was more than enough time, right? "Okay, _fine_ ," he gave in, grumbling but still smiling stupidly. A part of him still couldn't believe there was a girl lying in his bed begging to have sex with _him_.

Esme hadn't been what Hunter expected. Well, for one thing, he'd never expected to lose his virginity to her in the first place. But also, her style in bed was different than he expected. She acted all tough exteriorly, but when it was just the two of them in bed like this she was almost... _vulnerable_. She was gentle with him, soft and delicate even. It was like Hunter had somehow broken down all those walls.

She _really_ knew what she was doing in bed, though. It scared him a bit, being with a girl who had so much more experience than him. She was very no-nonsense when it came to getting what she wanted sexually. If Hunter was doing something the wrong way, she'd tell him straight up. "Let's be clear, I'm not going to just spend all my time going down on you," she'd told him. She'd been pleasantly surprised that Hunter, inexperienced as he might be, had some idea of what he was doing. "Zig's fingers _never_ felt that good," she'd moaned into his ear after a particularly hot car session.

Just when things were wrapping up, Esme's facial expression changed. "Um, Hunter..?" she said, looking a bit pale all of a sudden.

"Hmm?"

"I think..." Esme bit her lip. "I think the condom broke."

Hunter immediately climbed off her, a look of panic stricken across his face. " _Fuck,"_ he cried, realizing she was right. "No. No, no, no, this cannot-"

"Hunter." Esme grabbed his hand. "Don't freak. I'm on the pill."

Hunter didn't look at her, still freaked out. "Like hell you are," he said. He frantically pulled his clothes on and then hopped off the bed. "Come on. I'm taking you to get Plan B."

"I told you, I'm _on the pill,"_ Esme insisted. "Newsflash, genius- all Plan B does is add an extra dose of the same hormone I'm already _on_. Besides, the pill has a 99% success rate."

"Tell that to Lola," Hunter muttered, still not looking at her.

"I'm not an idiot who takes their birth control backwards, Hollingsworth!"

Hunter stared at her. "This was your plan all along, wasn't it?" he scoffed. "Get me to knock you up and then trap me?"

Esme sat up straight, looking at Hunter like he'd just slapped her. She looked angry, but in the corner of her eyes there was a hint of sadness. Hurt, even. "That's what you think?" she dared, her voice suddenly quiet. "That I'm just some psychopath after your money?"

Hunter didn't say anything for a minute. He sighed, pressing his palm against his forehead. "Let's just... get the morning after pill. Okay?"

"You don't trust me," Esme said, pulling her bra back on. "Do you?"

Hunter only offered her a shrug, not sure what to say. Truth be told, he _didn't_ quite trust Esme. He wanted to, sure. But given her reputation, given what she'd done to Miles and Frankie, how could he really?

Esme nodded quietly, accepting Hunter's silence as his answer. "Fine," she mumbled, throwing her clothes back on. "I see how it is." She walked out his bedroom door and slammed it behind her.

Hunter slumped back onto his bed. _Fuck._

A couple of hours later, Hunter walked downstairs to get lunch. He'd texted Esme a million times, but she hadn't responded. He didn't even know what he was feeling, exactly- he was angry at Esme for being so stubborn, but he was also upset at himself for snapping at her like that. Mostly though, Hunter just felt stupid for not being able to use a condom properly in the first place. He felt like a huge hypocrite all of a sudden for how much he had judged Miles for knocking up Lola. That's why he was so freaked over this, he supposed. He didn't want to end up like his older brother. He didn't want a kid. Hell, he didn't even _like_ children. Hope was alright... but that was about the only kid he could stand.

He walked downstairs into the living room and saw Lola sitting on the couch watching _Dora the Explorer_ with Hope. "Hey," she glanced up at Hunter.

"Hi," he grumbled, heading straight to the fridge without so much as making eye contact.

"Geez," Lola said, picking up on his rotten mood. "What's with you?"

"It's... it's nothing," Hunter said. He glanced around the room. "Where's Miles at?" As much as he bickered with his older brother... he might actually have some useful advice right now. He wasn't a total waste of space, at least sometimes.

"At the store picking up more diapers and baby food," Lola said. She looked down at Hope, who was lying in her arms. "These little things are expensive," she added, giving the baby a kiss on her forehead.

Hunter just nodded stiffly. Hope glanced over at him and smiled. "Buh buhhh!" she cooed.

Lola smiled at Hope, then turned the TV off. She raised her brow at Hunter, giving him that mom type of look. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, really," Hunter insisted. He glanced at his cell again. Still no texts from Esme. "Just uh, let me know when Miles gets home, okay?"

"Okay," Lola said. She ruffled Hope's hair for a minute, sighing. "You know- you can talk to me," she said, looking up at Hunter. She shrugged her shoulders awkwardly. "About... whatever."

Hunter raised his eyebrows. "Why?" he said. "I mean, I was kind of a piece of shit to you last year."

"Yeah, well," Lola shrugged. "You've also been pretty cool about me and Hope living here, though. I know it hasn't been the easiest." She laughed softly, adding, "Especially since I made your cologne smell like my candy apple body spray."

"Eh, it's not so bad," Hunter grinned. "I like you better than Tristan. He couldn't even tell the difference between _Realm of Doom_ and _Legend of Zelda_."

Lola just shook her head, smiling a little. "So, are you going to tell me what you're moping about?"

Hunter took a seat on the couch next to her. "Um," he said. He didn't want to go too into detail here- he still felt embarrassed about Lola walking in on him and Esme last month. Plus, Lola's top was really low-cut and he kind of wanted to avoid looking at her. "So, Esme and I kind of had a fight. I don't even... I don't know if I even _want_ to deal with it." He bit his lip. "I guess she thinks I don't trust her. Basically."

Lola nodded, not saying anything for a second. "You like her, don't you?" she asked. "Like... you're not just messing around?"

"I don't know," Hunter said. He thought she was hot, obviously. She was crazy good in bed. And she seemed to be the only one who didn't treat him like he was some ticking time bomb she had to tread super cautiously around. The more he thought about... she did make him feel good. Normal, even. "I... I guess so, yeah."

"Then you just have to trust her," Lola said as Hope started to fuss. She rocked the baby back and forth and rubbed her back. "Look, I'm not exactly Esme's biggest fan. But I... I don't think she's just trying to screw you over. From what I've seen, she gets bored fast. If she was just trying to mess with you, I think she would have moved on already. I don't know, maybe she actually _does_ just like you."

Hunter leaned back into the couch, cursing at himself inside his head. He didn't _want_ to like Esme. But... he did. "So what do I do?"

"Go make it right," Lola said, still trying to calm Hope down. "Chocolates are good. Nachos are better- _ooh_ , I should tell Miles to add tortilla chips to the list," she said, pulling out her cell.

Hunter got off the couch, shaking his head laughing a little. "Well. Thanks, Lola." He glanced back at her on his way out the door. "And yeah, keep that body spray in your _own_ bathroom cabinet. Please."

Hunter knocked on Esme's bedroom door, then opened it anyway when she didn't answer. "Hey," he said. "Your dad let me in." Esme's dad had kind of scared the crap out of him, if he was honest. He seemed so wooden, so... _cold_. The whole house seemed that way.

Esme didn't look up from her magazine. "Sorry," she muttered. "I'm too busy plotting my next golddigger move."

Hunter snatched the magazine from her hands and sat down on the bed next to her. " _Hey_!" Esme snapped. "I was reading that."

Hunter took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. "I trust you, okay?" He twisted his lip apprehensively. "If you say you're on the pill, I... I believe you."

Esme sighed, rolling her eyes a little. She reached over to her dressed and pulled out a pack of birth control. "I don't mess around with this stuff," she said. "Trust me, I didn't get straight A's all through high school just so I could have a _baby_. I have actual ambitions, you know. I'm not trying to be stuck in this town forever."

Hunter stared at the opened back of birth control. Esme hadn't been lying- she really did take the pills. "I- I know," he said, still stumbling. "Look, I..." His cheeks turned red as he chuckled under his breath. "I... I guess you could say I like you. I didn't plan on it, but I do. And I don't even know why you'd want to be with someone like me."

Esme sat up, finally looking him in the eye. "Well, you were surprisingly good for a virgin," she teased. "But, um- you're not like everyone else. You don't treat me like I'm crazy. At least, I thought."

"I _don't_ think you're crazy," Hunter insisted. He reached for her hand. "Look, if anything, _I'm_ the crazy one, okay?"

"Why's that?" Esme mumbled, barely holding his hand.

Hunter looked down. "Because," he gulped quietly. He turned pale suddenly. "Because... two years ago, I brought a gun to the school dance. I... I didn't hurt anybody. But... I almost did. I didn't _want_ to. It was like I was a completely different person." He slowly looked up at Esme, realizing he's almost certainly said too much. If she didn't think he was crazy before, she had to now. "I'm uh, I'm not like that anymore," he added quickly.

Esme let out a deep breath, taking all that information in. "Well, my past isn't exactly pristine, either," she said quietly. Hunter guessed she was talking about her mom- he already knew the story behind that one. "You might be a little crazy, Hollingsworth," she said, holding his hand finally. She smiled a little. "But no more than I am."

Hunter looked into her eyes. "You really don't care about my past?"

Esme took a deep breath, then smiled. "I trust you."


	113. Expectations vs Reality

Just another quick chapter because I felt like writing a little more this weekend. What did you all think of the last chapter with Hunter and Esme? Next chapter will get back into the Mr. H drama as well as the situation with Lola's parents... and yes, I'm going to update my other fic, I just haven't had time to do so yet! Please keep reviewing and letting me know your thoughts!

 **Expectations vs. Reality**

Lola sat on the floor one afternoon watching Hope crawl around on her baby mat. "That's it," she smiled. "You're doing _great,_ baby." She glanced at her phone again and sighed- how had it only been five minutes since she last checked the time? Time seemed to pass so slowly these days.

The phone rang- probably Simpson again. Lola had deleted every message he'd left on the answering machine for Diana about her skipping school. She hadn't really figured out how she was going to tell Miles or his mom that she wasn't going back to Degrassi. She knew they'd disapprove and probably try and force her to go back. She was feeling more and more guilty for lying to Miles like this- he still thought Hope was going to daycare every day. She hated lying to him; it didn't feel right. But still. She couldn't leave Hope.

Lola hadn't been to school in almost two weeks now. She couldn't really explain why, but the thought of leaving Hope at daycare just put knots in her stomach. Over winter break, she kept having nightmares about Hope getting hurt again. When school came around again, she just _knew_ she couldn't leave her baby. Sure, school was important, but... Hope seemed more important.

Lola had to admit she was getting a little bored though. Staying at home with a baby all day, apart from all of her friends and activities, was proving to be more difficult than she'd thought. After all, there were only so many things you could do with a six-month old. Just the other day, she'd played peekaboo with Hope _sixteen_ times. She wondered how Miles had done this all of last semester.

Lola scooped Hope into her arms and plopped down on the couch. "So, what's on your mind?" she cooed to her.

Hope just sucked her thumb in response. Lola sighed- as cute as the baby was, she also kind of missed being around people her age, people she could have actual conversations with.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. _Crap, who could that be?_ Lola wasn't sure if she should answer it or not. Mrs. Hollingsworth wasn't supposed to be home for a few more hours and she assumed that Miles and the twins were all in class. There was another knock. Figuring she should at least check, she got off the couch and went to open the door, Hope nestled against her shoulder.

Lola gasped, caught off guard. "Yael! What are you doing here?"

Yael walked through the door into the hallway, apparently just inviting themself in. "I _knew_ it!" they cried, shutting the door behind them. "You've been ditching!"

Lola let out a long sigh, her suddenly-red cheeks a dead giveaway of her guilt. "It's- it's not like that," she insisted quietly, bouncing Hope on her shoulder. "I just, um-" She tried to think of what to say, but she was at a loss for words. She stared down at the floor in defeat. "How did you figure it out?"

"You haven't been showing up to our vlogging meetings," Yael said, crossing their arms. "Or Perino's. I was supposed to have history class with you this semester, remember?"

 _Crap. Of course._ Lola clutched her forehead and took a deep breath."Okay, well do you wanna come in?" she said, leading Yael into the living room. She plopped down on the couch next to them, Hope still cradled in her lap. She glanced around the living room and realized it was kind of a mess- there were baby toys and stuff scattered everywhere. She handed Hope her pacifier and made a mental note to tidy up the living room before the Hollingsworths got home.

Yael cleared their throat. "So, are you gonna tell me why you've been ditching for the past two weeks?" they said to Lola, raising their brow at her.

"Um," Lola stammered. She glanced down at the baby and shrugged. _Why do you think?_

Yael looked over at Hope. "Is she sick or something?"

"No," Lola said. "It's... it's nothing like that. I just-" She sighed. "Ever since her accident, I've been afraid of leaving her, okay? Miles thinks she's old enough for daycare. It's been almost seven months since she was born; he wants both of us to be back in school. But I... I don't want to leave the baby. I _can't_."

"So what, you're just going to drop out?" Yael said, not trying very hard to hide their disapproval. "That's it? You're just going to give up on your education?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, okay?" Lola snapped, suddenly annoyed. She knew Yael meant well, but the truth was they didn't understand. They didn't know what it was like to be a mother at seventeen, to be responsible for a whole other human like this. Lola had always known parenting would be hard, but it was overwhelming in ways she never could have anticipated. When she was pregnant, she'd spent nearly all of her time researching babies, reading parenting books, and practicing diapering and bottle-feeding. But there was so much more to having a baby than that. Hope wasn't just some cute little doll to play with- she was a real person that needed Lola to take care of her and depended on Lola to keep her safe and happy and loved at all times. And no matter how many baby books Lola had read, parenting was an even greater task than she could have ever imagined.

Yael didn't even blink at Lola's snappy comment. Having spent most of their days at Degrassi hanging out with boys, they were never one to be easily intimidated. "Do you remember that one conversation we had with Baaz last year about you and school?" they asked Lola. "Remember what you said to him?"

 _Lola and Yael walked down the hallway at school one spring morning, running late for class as usual. "Oh crap, I forgot my textbook!" Lola cried, turning back towards her locker. "I swear, pregnancy is making me lose brain cells or something."_

 _Yael couldn't help but laugh a little. "I've heard of that, actually," they said. "I think it's called Momnesia."_

 _Lola stood on her tip toes to try to reach the top shelf of her locker. Yael shook their head and just grabbed the book for Lola themself, zipping it up in her backpack for her. "Oof. Thanks," Lola groaned, straightening her back out. A couple of girls scoffed at her as they passed by. Lola made the same face back at them._

 _"Just ignore them," Yael reminded her._

 _"I know, I know," Lola muttered, following Yael into the classroom. She took a seat next to them in the back of the room at the special desk she had to use- she couldn't fit into a normal one anymore._

 _"Ms. Pacini," Perino cleared his throat. "Do you have a doctor's note for missing class yesterday?"_

 _Lola unzipped her backpack and pulled out the doctor's slip. "Right here," she said, passing it up to the front of the room._

 _Across the aisle, Baaz rolled his eyes. "Wish_ I _could skip class all the time like that."_

 _Yael shot him a stern look. "Shut it, Baaz."_

 _"Whatever," Baaz shrugged. He looked over at Lola. "It's not like you're gonna be gonna be taking classes much longer anyways."_

 _Lola sat up straight, finally having had enough. "Hey, I'm not gonna become a dropout," she snapped. "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't graduate."_

 _Baaz just chuckled. "Yeah well, good luck." He went back to reading his textbook, muttering something about "crazy hormones."_

Lola shook her head at Yael's story. "That's different," she insisted. "That was before Hope was even born. I didn't know what I was talking about back then."

"You want Hope to go to school one day, don't you?" Yael continued, glancing at the baby. They weren't one to go down without a fight. "You want her to graduate high school and go to university, right?"

"Of _course_ ," Lola said. She pulled Hope closer. "Of course I want her to get an education."

"Then set a good example for her by going back to Degrassi," Yael said. "Come on, Lo... I need you back. The vlogging team sucks without you- Hunter is being a jerk and Baaz and Vijay don't have any clue what they're doing. We need you. _I_ need you."

Lola sighed. She hadn't really been there for her friends lately, she realized. She'd been so focused on the baby that she'd hardly bothered to ask Yael how they were dealing with Hunter and Esme, how Frankie was feeling about her dad, how Shay and Tiny's long distance was going. "But," Lola said quietly. She looked down at Hope, " _she_ needs me too."

"Well, maybe talk to Ms. Grell or Simpson," Yael suggested. "I mean, Degrassi's had teen moms before... maybe you can skip first period or something." They paused for a second. "Just- come back soon. It's weird being at school without you."

Lola took a deep breath. Maybe Yael had a point- she couldn't keep this up forever. "I guess it couldn't hurt to try and talk to Simpson," she admitted. She squeezed Yael's hand and gave them a small smile. They really had become one of her very best friends over the past year. As much as she loved Frankie and Shay, they hadn't even _noticed_ Lola's absence at school. Yael had always been there for her no matter what, at least.

Yael squeezed Lola's hand in return, smiling back. "Good," they said. "Well, I have to get back- lunch is about to be over." They glanced over at the baby and added, "You know, maybe you could even do your next vlog about Hope."

"Ooh, that's not a bad idea," Lola said. Hope let out a little gurgling noise, which made both Lola and Yael giggle.

Suddenly, the front door swung open. " _Lola_? What are you and Hope doing home?"


	114. There's Your Trouble

Sorry if this chapter feels a little repetitive, but I think it's an important scene for Mola to have. Next chapter will get back on track with Mr. H drama for real this time, as well as bring in a couple of surprise characters... On a side note, hope you guys are still into the current storylines. View counts are still really high, but I haven't gotten reviews on the last couple of chapters, so let me know your thoughts if you have time. Just want to make sure I'm still doing an okay job here xx

 **There's Your Trouble**

Miles just stared at Lola for a second, still completely caught off guard by seeing her and the baby lounging around at home at 1:30 pm on a Thursday. Degrassi hadn't gotten out early or anything today, right? And what was _Yael_ doing here?

"Um, hey, Miles," Yael mumbled awkwardly. Outside of some awkward family dinners with Hunter back in the day, they'd never spoken more than a few words to him. _Shit_ , they realized- Miles probably didn't know Lola had been ditching. "I uh, I gotta go. Armstrong will kill me if I'm late again." They gave Lola a sympathetic shrug on their way out the door.

"What are you doing home?" Lola asked Miles, her cheeks flushed. She felt small suddenly, like a kid who'd just been stopped by a hall monitor at school. She had no idea how she was going to talk her way out of this one.

"My afternoon lecture was cancelled," Miles said, taking a seat next to Lola on the sofa. He glanced at Hope, who was still cradled in Lola's lap. "Is the baby okay? Is she sick or hurt or-"

Lola took a deep breath. "No," she sighed, barely looking at him. "I just- I didn't feel like going to school, okay?"

Miles looked at Lola worriedly now. "Why?" He didn't seem angry or anything, just- concerned. He held her hand, looking at her with those soft green eyes that Lola still got lost in sometimes.

Lola looked down at Hope. "I... I don't think Hope's ready for daycare yet, Miles. She's too little."

Miles sighed. "Lo, we've been over this. She'll be seven months this week. That's plenty old for daycare a few mornings a week. Her pediatrician told us it was fine, remember?"

"Daaa," Hope cooed at Miles.

Miles smiled at the baby, still getting a thrill out of her babbling something close to "Dad" even if she didn't really understand what she was saying. "Listen," he said, turning back to Lola. "We talked about this, didn't we? I thought we agreed we couldn't just put our lives on hold forever."

"Actually, _you_ agreed to that," Lola muttered. She pulled Hope closer. "Look. I'm glad you're starting university, I'm glad you're happy getting back to school. But I can't do it, okay? I can't just go back to high school with everyone else. I'm not..." She stopped to catch her breath, suddenly all worked up. "I'm not like all the other kids at Degrassi, not anymore. Everyone wants me to act like I'm _fine_! Like I don't have a _baby_ to take care of, like I'm not worried sick about Hope every second I'm not with her. And I'm _sick_ of it. I'm sick of pretending to be normal."

Miles just stared at her for a second, kind of overwhelmed by everything she had just shared. Behind that bubbly smile, there was a heavy sadness in her eyes. She'd been forced to grow up so much in the last year. Sitting next to her on the couch like this, Miles almost felt like he was back in that hallway again under that Degrassi "safe space" sign. That was the first day he really realized there was more to Lola than just pretty makeup and a killer cheer routine. That was the first time he really saw her as anything besides just his kid sister's best friend. Everyone at Degrassi had underestimated Lola, including himself. "How long have you been skipping school?" Miles sighed.

Lola didn't look at him, not wanting to face him. "Um..." she stammered, cheeks turning red. "Kinda... kinda since the beginning of the semester."

Miles took a deep breath, burying his face in his hands. "You lied to me for _two weeks_?" he said, clenching his fists to stop himself from getting too upset.

Hope started to cry. "I- I didn't mean to lie, Miles!" she said, frantically rocking the baby back and forth. "I wanted to tell you. I _tried_ to tell you. But you never wanna hear it! You just want me to go back to school and pretend like nothing's changed!"

Miles clutched his forehead. "Maybe... maybe you should talk to someone. A therapist or something."

Lola was crying now along with Hope. "Why did you have to go to university so soon?" she said. "Why couldn't you have just waited until next year? Why-"

"Lola, that's not fair!" Miles snapped. "Okay? It's not fair for me to stay at home with the baby all day and do nothing else. I did it all last semester."

"Then let _me_ stay with her!" Lola insisted, still crying.

Miles groaned and took Hope from her. "I love our daughter, okay?" he said. "But I need to have a _life_ again, for fuck's sake. So do you."

Lola just shook her head. "Yeah, well," she sniffled quietly. "Maybe you should have thought of that before."

Miles sat up. " _Excuse_ me?"

"Everyone thinks I'm an idiot for taking my birth control wrong," Lola said, crossing her arms. "When we're out with Hope, _I_ ' _m_ always the one getting the dirty looks. Like this whole thing was entirely my responsibility. No one cares that you didn't even bother to use a condom."

Miles just stared at her. "Are you saying you regret what we did?" he said, his voice suddenly cold. "Are you saying you regret our daughter?"

" _No!"_ Lola said, taking Hope back. She pulled the baby closer and rubbed her back gently. "I'm saying that... when I decided to keep her, when I decided to do this whole parenting thing, I always _knew_ my life would never be normal again. And you know what? I don't care. I don't care that I'm missing out on being a normal teenager. I love our baby more than... more than anything in the world." She sighed deeply. "Why can't you just understand that this is my life now? I'm a teenage mom, Miles. We've got to put our kid first. And if that means I have to sacrifice my education... so be it."

"Daycare won't hurt her, Lola!" Miles said. "Look, I don't think this is really about Hope not being ready. I think you're the one who's not ready." He sighed. "But Hope is _fine_. Nothing bad is going to happen to her. I _swear_."

Lola shook her head, still rubbing Hope's back. The baby had finally settled down a little, at least. "Ever since her accident, I've just been afraid of leaving her," she admitted. "Okay? I'm _scared_ , Miles. It's like... I can't control anything else in my life. I don't get a say in what my dad does, my mom being here... I don't get to choose if my parents are getting married again. Hope's safety is the only thing I can control."

"Hold on," Miles sat up. "Did you say your parents are getting married again?"

Lola sighed. "Yeah," she said quietly. "They're... they're renewing their vows. My dad wants me to come to the ceremony."

Miles put his arm around Lola. He thought about how awful it was watching his own parents get back together a couple of years ago. "Do you want to go to it?"

" _Hell_ no," Lola said, almost laughing. "Miles, I... I don't wanna do anything but take care of Hope." She leaned into him, crying a little again. "Don't make me leave her, okay? Just... please. Just let me stay with her."

Miles rubbed her back, letting out a long sigh. Life just seemed to get more and more complicated.


	115. We Used To Be Friends

Hi everyone- here's a midweek update because I actually had a little free time and felt like writing some good old Hollingsworth drama. This chapter is a little different in that it focuses almost solely on the parents. Thank you for your comments- don't worry if you don't have time to review, I'm just glad people are still reading! I always appreciate feedback if you have time though. On another note, I'll likely update my other Mola fic soon xx

 **We Used To Be Friends**

Mrs. Hollingsworth sat in the hospital reading magazines quietly and checking her watch again. Her husband- if you could even call him that anymore- would be done with his exam any minute now. By the rate his recovery was going, it would likely only be a couple of more days until he was determined to be healthy enough to be taken back to prison.

Mrs. H had to admit a part of her was quite relieved he would be going back soon. She'd felt obligated to check on him daily- he was still her children's father and they were still technically married, after all. If she was being honest, a part of her would always love him. But it had grown tiring to be here every day, pretending like the two of them were still a happy couple, like they didn't have such a tumultuous history.

The doctors wheeled the senior Miles Hollingsworth back into the room. "How did it go?" Mrs. H asked as the nurses set him up on his bed.

"My numbers are becoming stable again," Mr. H grunted. "So, we're looking at only two or three more days until I can be discharged." He sighed, thinking of his inevitable return to prison. "Never thought I'd actually _want_ to stay in a hospital longer."

Mrs. H nodded stiffly. She stared at her estranged husband, just noticing how weak and thin he appeared. It was hard to believe this was the same man who, only a few years ago, had been capable of a throwing things at and hitting their own son. "Thank you for making those phone calls to your lawyers about the money," Mrs. H said, her voice rigid. "Most of it seems to have transferred over, at least."

"Well, of course. I-" Mr. H said, starting to cough a bit. "I wouldn't want my family struggling in my absence."

Mrs. H was silent for a moment, just taking a second to gather her thoughts. She was so conflicted about being here by his side like this. On one hand, she wanted to keep her family together as much as possible. On the other hand, she wanted to protect the kids' best interests... and her own. "Miles," she said quietly. "We need to talk..." She sighed. "About... about the er- _legal_ status of our marriage."

Mr. H looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean?"

Mrs. H didn't look at him. Her hands started to tremble a little. "I... I want to finalize the divorce."

"Diana..."

"We've put this off for far too long, Miles," Mrs. H continued, still barely looking at her husband. "You know we have to do it at some point."

Mr. H stared long and hard at her. He let out a deep breath. "It was always supposed to just be a trial separation," he muttered, strumming his fingers on his bedside table. "We had 20 years of marriage... three beautiful children... where did we go wrong, Diana?"

 _Well,_ Mrs. H thought to herself. _Your affair. Your hitting Miles. Your arrest._ She thought back to what her oldest son had said to her a few years ago when they tried to put their marriage back together: _"When were we ever a happy family? Was it when he cheated on you? When he used me as his punching bag?"_ She had done what she could to try and save her marriage- and they would always be tied to each other because of the kids- but it felt like they reached the point of no return a long time ago. Diana wanted to be able to look herself in the mirror again and see a strong woman, a good mother, not some pathetic, desperate ex-lover waiting around for her husband to love her again. "It's just... it's what's best," she said to the senior Miles Hollingsworth. "For everyone." She felt like she should say something else, but she just couldn't think of anything else to add. Maybe nothing else needed to be said at this point.

Mr. H was quiet for a moment, just thinking. "Do you remember when we first brought Miles home from the hospital?"

"Of course," Mrs. H nodded. She chuckled a little, adding, "You don't exactly forget twenty-three hours of labor." Miles had been a wild storm right from the beginning.

"Well, I was just thinking," Mr. H continued, stroking his chin. "The first night we brought him home... after you'd gone to bed, I- I went back into his nursery and just watched him sleep for a few minutes. I remember thinking to myself, _This is it. You've got the whole package now- career, home, gorgeous wife, beautiful baby son._ I remember feeling like, I don't know, like I'd _made it_. Like I had everything I could possibly want." He sighed deeply. "And here we are eighteen years later... and I've managed to lose all of it."

Mrs. H sighed. "You know... it may be too late for our marriage. But maybe it's not too late to try and make it right with the kids."

Mr. H just shook his head. "Have you _met_ our oldest son?" he said. "He won't spend more than two minutes talking to me." He scratched his beard, which had grown wirey and unkept during his time at the hospital- it almost made him look like a skinny version of Santa Claus. "Still so hard to believe our boy's a father."

"He's good with Hope," Mrs. H said, smiling a tiny bit. "I was actually kind of impressed when I first watched him look after her- I didn't think he would even know how to change a diaper properly. But he's good with the baby... I even hear him singing lullabies to her late at night sometimes." She laughed under her breath, adding, "He would be _so_ embarrassed if he ever found out I was listening."

"Yeah, he seems like he's good with kid," Mr. H said quietly. "Not exactly what I would have wanted for our son at this age, but... well, I'm glad I at least got to finally meet Hope. She looks a lot like Frankie did as a baby, don't you think?"

"I'm just thankful the baby didn't come out with blue hair," Mrs. H laughed. "But yes, I think she does look like Frankie quite a bit. She's got your cheekbones too."

"Poor kid," Mr. H chuckled, shaking his head. He went quiet for a minute, just taking a moment to look at his soon-to-be ex wife. As he looked into her eyes, their entire history, good and bad, seemed to flash before him. He knew from the way she was looking at him that she was done. They would always be tethered to each other through the children, but... Diana wasn't going to play the role of his dutiful wife anymore. And he knew there was absolutely nothing he could do to change that fact. He hated himself more than ever for doing all he'd done: cheating, hitting Miles, smuggling coke, slapping his wife's wrist in a snap judgement during a heated argument. He knew he'd been a rotten husband, a rotten father, a rotten person in general- it was all too much to forgive. "Diana..." he said softly. "I'm... I'm sorry."

Mrs. H just nodded quietly. "So am I, Miles. So am I." She thought back on their history together, suddenly remembering the very beginning. They were high school sweethearts- boarding school sweethearts, to be more exact. Diana had been sent to school there because her parents wanted her to receive a fine education. Miles Senior's parents, on the other hand, had sent him there strictly to keep him out of trouble. Mrs. H remembered the first time she saw her eventual husband, back when the two of them were just fifteen:

 _Diana stood outside on the basketball courts surrounded by a frenzy of students. "Come on, come on, form a line!" their teacher shouted over the chatter._

 _"D'you think there's really a fire?" a mousy-haired girl said._

 _"I heard someone pulled the alarm," a boy piped up._

 _"Really?" Diana said, eyes wide. Real fire or not, she had to admit she was kind of thankful for the interruption- they'd been in the middle of taking a rather difficult math exam when the alarm blared. She'd only been at the school for two weeks and she already felt so behind. "Who was it?"_

 _Another girl shook her head. "Who do you_ think

 _Diana's eyes wandered across the court to the one student who stuck out like a sore thumb- while the rest of the students were lining up and generally listening to the teachers, this boy was leaning against the back of a basketball court smirking to himself and sneakily lighting a cigarette underneath his coat. As he blew a cloud of smoke, his green eyes met Diana's and he gave her a smile._

 _He was trouble. 100 percent._

As it turned out, Mr. H had quite a bit more in common with his oldest son than he'd care to admit.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Mr. and Mrs. H both turned in surprise as Miles walked through the door, Hope strapped to him in her baby carrier. "Hey," he said quietly.

Mr. H sat up. "Miles," he said, glancing at the baby. "This is a surprise."

"Yeah," Miles shrugged awkwardly. "Well, Lola really needed to get some rest- she's been staying up so late with the baby lately. So I convinced her to let me take Hope for an hour or two while she naps." He stroked Hope's head reassuringly as she started to fuss a tiny bit. "Plus, I- I heard you're probably getting out of here soon. So I thought I... well, we... ought to come by and say goodbye."

"Well, er, thanks son," Mr. H said. He stared at the baby, realizing how much she really _did_ look like Frankie at that age. "Um, I don't suppose- would you maybe... would you maybe let me hold her?"

Mrs. H sighed, as if to say _don't push it_. But to her surprise, Miles reluctantly nodded. "Well, I- I guess," he said, trembling a little as he took Hope out of her carrier. He walked over to his father's hospital bed, cradling Hope protectively. He nervously handed the baby to his dad, still squeezing the end of her little fingers.

Mr. H stared down at the tiny baby in his arms. "Gosh," he murmured, stroking her little head. He glanced at Miles. "Still can't believe you're a father, son."

"Gahh," Hope cooed, waving her tiny hand around.

Miles smiled nervously. "I'll ah, I'll take her now," he said quickly, scooping the baby back into his arms. He glanced over at his mother. "Mom," he said, his face turning serious. "Can I uh, talk to you about something in the hall?"

Mrs. H nodded, not entirely sure what he wanted to discuss. "Sure. I'll meet you outside in a second."

Once Miles had closed the door behind him, Mrs. H turned to her husband again. "I think I'm going to head home with them, actually," she said, getting up from her chair. "It's been a long day."

Mr. H nodded quietly. "Diana," he said. "Are you going to tell the kids... about..."

He didn't even have to utter the word divorcefor Mrs. H to know what he meant. "Not... not yet," she muttered. She sighed. "We'll talk to them when the time's right." She turned to follow Miles out the door, glancing back at Mr. H one more time... trying to see the man she loved, the man she fell for all those years ago. But he was gone.


	116. Dog Days

Hi everyone- sorry I haven't updated in awhile; life has just been crazier than usual. In the midst of finals and a really crappy breakup currently. I'm on spring break in a few days though and am planning to channel all this energy into my fics. Please review if you can and let me know what you want to see happen next! Next chapter has some twists...

 **Dog Days**

Lola scrambled to finish shampooing her hair as quickly as possible, keeping an eye on Hope through the glass shower door. She couldn't get much of anything done lately, even showering. Every time she tried to put Hope in her bouncy chair or jumper so she could leave the room for even just a _second_ , Hope would start to cry. Ever since she started crawling, she wanted to follow Lola absolutely everywhere. It had gotten to the point where Lola had to take her everywhere with her every second of the day, even just to go to the bathroom.

"No, no, don't put _that_ in your mouth!" Lola rushed out of the shower and frantically grabbed a stray toothpaste cap out of Hope's tiny hands. Lola supposed Frankie or Hunter had probably dropped it- ugh, she needed to talk to them again about leaving choking hazards around the house.

Hope started to cry. "It's okay, Hope," Lola sighed, quickly pulling on her robe and scooping the baby into her arms. She rocked her back and forth. "Shh- shh, baby girl."

Lola groaned as Hope kept on crying. Hope had been a fairly easy newborn- she was colicky at times, but not too bad. But ever since she started crawling, she'd been more than a handful. She was always playing with her baby food and splattering it all over the place, getting into Hunter's things, crawling on top of Frankie's homework... it was a lot to handle, to say the very least. There were times during the day where Lola would feel she was losing her mind a little, almost breaking down in tears sometimes. But then at night when she tucked Hope into her crib snuggled up like a little angel, she couldn't help but fall in love with the baby all over again. Parenthood was strange that way.

"Eeee wahhh maaaaa," Hope babbled.

"Hmm?" Lola smiled, holding the baby against her shoulder. "What are you trying to tell Mommy?" she teased.

"Daaa maaa," Hope continued, gurgling and landing a little spit on Lola's bathrobe.

"Muy _fascinante_ ," Lola chuckled. She let out a deep sigh as Hope tugged on her robe and made cooing noises. Even though Hope was anything but quiet, the lack of adult conversation made the house seem silent these days. Talking with Hope like this sometimes made Lola feel like she was back in kindergarten, fresh from Argentina and surrounded by classmates who didn't speak a word of the same language as her. She didn't want to admit it, but it made her feel kind of... lonely.

She glanced at her watch- 2:30. Miles would be home soon. He'd been acting odd since their fight a few days ago. He seemed to have completely dropped the subject of school- when he'd left for his classes the next morning, he didn't say anything to Lola about her skipping school or try to change her mind. This morning, he just kissed her goodbye and said he'd see her after class. Lola wanted to be relieved, but she couldn't help feeling he was hiding something. She knew Miles- he didn't give up easily, just like Lola didn't. Between the two of them, Hope was probably going to grow up to be _very_ stubborn. Lola could already imagine how difficult those teenage years were going to be... she wanted Hope to stay a little baby forever.

Lola quickly tossed on some fresh clothes and then walked back into the living room carrying Hope. She sank into the sofa with her, trying to sing some Spanish lullabies but forgetting the lyrics. Hope kept on squirming and trying to tug on Lola's clothes and hair. "How do you have so much _energy,_ mija?" Lola cried, yawning. She'd always heard you were supposed to "sleep when the baby sleeps," but lately Hope wasn't too fond of naptime. She'd spoken to Hope's pediatrician about it at her appointment a couple of weeks ago, but he had little advice except to just be patient.

Lola always felt kind of awkward taking Hope to her appointments nowadays. The doctors were nice enough, but they always tended to use the "pity voice" on her. And it wasn't just doctors- _everyone_ seemed to be doing that nowadays. Just last week when Lola took Hope out for a stroll through the park, a well-meaning older woman had told Lola what a cute little sister she had. The woman's expression quickly changed once Lola corrected her. Lola didn't mind the judgment too much... she'd gotten used to getting plenty of glares and _tsk_ s throughout the pregnancy last year. But the pity, that's what really got to her.

"Okay, okay," Lola gave in as Hope started whimpering again. "Let's crawl around for awhile." She got off the couch and set Hope down on her baby mat to let her explore the living room.

Lola's phone went off with a text from Yael: _where are you? you promised you'd come back to school soon!_

 _Maybe- don't know yet_ , Lola typed back. But while she was busy typing, she tripped right over one of Hope's stuffed animals and landed face-first on the ground.

"Shit!" Lola cried, clutching her swollen nose. She instantly gasped and put her hands over her mouth- she never swore around the baby. "Come on, baby," she sighed, scooping Hope into her arms. She yawned again. "Let's try and nap for a little bit."

Lola walked up the stairs with Hope and tried to put her down in her crib, but Hope just screamed, wanting to be up and active. " _Please_ , Hope," Lola pleaded, waving her teddy bear over her. " _Please_ just nap for a little bit? Mommy's exhausted."

Hope only cried louder.

Something inside Lola snapped. "HOPE! _Shush_!" she yelled.

Hope just stared at Lola for a second, startled by the harshness of her voice. " _Wehhhhhh_ ," she cried, her eyes sad.

Lola started crying right along with her, feeling awful for losing her temper. This wasn't her, she _never_ raised her voice at Hope. She was just a baby, for god's sakes. Lola scooped her out of her crib and into her arms, still sobbing as she cuddled the baby. "I'm sorry, sweetie," she cried, rocking her back and forth frantically. "I'm _so_ , so sorry."

Just then, Lola heard footsteps come up the stairs. "Lo, is everything okay?" Miles asked, caught off guard by the sight of both Hope and Lola in tears.

Lola only cried harder as Miles sat down on the floor next to them. "I'm a terrible mom," she sobbed, holding Hope so tightly Miles was almost afraid she might burst open.

"What?" Miles said. He tried to take Hope, but Lola insisted on holding the baby still.

"I _yelled_ at her today, Miles!" Lola cried, tears still streaming down her face. "She's just a little baby and I practically told her to just shut up... I bet she's traumatized!"

Miles pressed his hand to his forehead, exhausted but almost laughing at the absurdity of Lola's statement. "Lola, she's not _traumatized_ ," he said, gently stroking the baby's hair. "Look, it- it's hard being home with her all day and doing nothing else. I mean, when I stayed home with her last semester, I was still going to work every day... you're just at home with her 24/7. That's... that's too much for _anyone_ to handle."

Lola took a deep breath, bracing herself for another lecture. "I already told you," she said. "I'm not going back to school. I'm not leaving Hope." She started to cry a little again. "Oh my god- I'm going to end up just like my mom."

"Lo, will you _stop_ with that nonsense?" Miles snapped, finally just taking Hope into his arms. The baby leaned into him, still whimpering a tiny bit. "You're not your mom any more than I'm my dad." He pulled Lola closer, massaging her shoulders.

Lola wiped her eyes. "Ooh- shoulder massage," she sighed, finally smiling a little. "You haven't given me one of those since I was pregnant."

"Well, Hope's always been kind of a handful," Miles chuckled. "I remember once you cried because she wouldn't stop kicking during your history test."

Lola couldn't help but giggle a little. "Yeah, and then I yelled at you afterwards," she said, leaning into Miles. "I told you that I wished you were a seahorse so _you_ would have to carry the baby instead." She wiped her eyes and sighed. "Ugh. I'm a mess, Miles."

"No more than I am," Miles shrugged, planting a kiss on her forehead. He handed Hope back to Lola, finally having calmed the baby down. "Hey, um- how'd you like to go to lunch right now?"

Lola glanced down at Hope. "Sure," she smiled. "The three of us, right?"

"Well, I could ask the twins to-"

Miles stopped, seeing the look on Lola's face. "Yeah," he sighed, taking Lola's hand. "The three of us."


	117. You Don’t Own Me

I promise the Lola/school storyline will be wrapping up soon and we'll get to some other Hollingsworth storylines. Let me know what you think please- hoping the story isn't losing its momentum! xx

 **You Don't Own Me**

Miles seemed even more tense than usual on the car ride out to lunch. He kept tapping his left foot, and his hands trembled as he handled the steering wheel.

"You okay?" Lola asked from the backseat. She had insisted on sitting next to Hope, fussing over her, waving her toys at her, and covering her in kisses to make sure she knew she loved her. She was still beating herself up over losing her temper earlier, much to Miles' exhaustion. Between the two of them, it sometimes felt like he had _two_ babies to take care of.

"I'm fine," Miles muttered. He cleared his throat. "So uh, I thought we'd go to the Dot for lunch."

"Sure," Lola shrugged. "Anything's better than the Cantina. And it's just... nice to get out of the house for a bit." She made a silly face at Hope, waving the pink teddy bear Maya had bought for them months ago. "Goochie goochie goo."

"Gahh," Hope smiled, blowing a little spit bubble.

Miles pulled into a parking space. He wiped a bit of sweat off his forehead and tried to smile. "Lunch is my treat."

"They have high-chairs at The Dot, right?" Lola said as they walked towards the restaurant, her carrying Hope in her sling and Miles carrying the ridiculously heavy diaper bag. "Do you think they'd let me order off the kids' menu? I just _really_ love those Dino Nuggets. Maybe I could say they're for Hope or-"

Lola froze as she walked into The Dot and saw a table of people already waiting for her— Mrs. Hollingsworth, Principal Simpson, Ms. Grell, her father, and her _mother._

"Lola," her father said sternly. "Sit."

Lola just stared at all of them, flabbergasted. "What is, this some kind of intervention?" She turned to Miles, suddenly furious. How could he of all people go behind her back and get her _mom_ on his side? She felt like a fool for thinking he was really okay with her skipping school. "I can't _believe_ you set me up!"

Miles was a little stunned at the harshness of Lola's voice. He wasn't used to seeing her this way. "I didn't know your mom was going to be here, okay?" he whispered. "I just, I thought maybe your dad would know what to say and-"

"Lola, just sit down for a second," Principal Simpson said. "Please."

"Lo, come on," Miles sighed, his voice beyond tired. "Just for a minute."

Lola shook her head, still too upset to look at him. She took Hope out from her baby carrier and took a seat next to Diana (the furthest seat possible from her mother), cradling the baby in her lap. "Well go ahead, then. Tell me all about how I'm _ruining_ my life."

"Miles tells me you haven't been to school all semester," Mrs. H said, looking tense. "And Principal Simpson says he's been trying to get ahold of us for weeks now."

"Lola, I know being a teen parent can be difficult..." Ms. Grell started.

"Oh, right," Lola rolled her eyes. "Like _you_ would know."

Mrs. Pacini sat up. "Mija, that's enough!" she said. "Your disrespect is out of control."

"Victoria.." Mr. Pacini sighed, not wanting the two of them to get into it again.

"No, you can't keep doing this!" Mrs. Pacini snapped at him. "You're _always_ the "nice" parent. When she ran away, I put my foot down, I said we needed to go find her right away, I said we needed to drag her back home and remind her she's the _child_ and we're her _parents_ still. And what did you do? You said we should let her come home in her own time, let her make her own mistakes. Well, are you happy now? Just look at her- now she's a teenage mother _and_ a dropout!"

"I'm sitting right here," Lola muttered.

Principal Simpson cleared his throat, so clearly uncomfortable with the Pacini drama unfolding right in front of him. "Lola, Ms. Grell and I are suggesting some alternate solutions," he said. "You've missed nearly three weeks now, which puts you quite a bit behind, but with some extra coursework you could still graduate on time-"

Lola almost laughed. They _had_ to be kidding with this. " _Extra_ coursework?" she said, glancing down at Hope, who was squirming in her lap and trying to reach for the napkin in front of her. "Uh, no offense Principal Simpson, but have you seen my grades? I wasn't exactly on honor roll even before Hope came along."

"Degrassi has had plenty of teen moms before," Ms. Grell chimed in. "There are things we can do to help you. Tutoring, extra time for exams, counseling... Principal Simpson is even willing to let you do an independent study for first period."

Lola just shook her head, not wanting to hear this whole spiel. Not again. "You don't get it," she swallowed hard. "I... I can't leave my baby." She pulled Hope closer. "Okay?" she said, her voice so small it was almost a whisper.

"Lola," Mrs. Hollingsworth said gently. "School was part of the deal with you living with us, remember? I can't just let you drop out."

Lola's cheeks turned pink, almost matching her hair color from two years ago. "Then... then Miles and I can find our own place," she said, her voice growing frantic. "I mean he's got money now, and..."

Miles sighed, clutching his forehead. "Lola. No. That's... no." He shook his head, not knowing what else to say.

Mrs. Hollingsworth put her hand on Lola's shoulder. "But what we _can_ do is get a nanny for Hope," she said. "Someone to come to the house during the day while you're at school, just for a few hours. How does that sound?"

Lola started to cry, just so frustrated. Nobody ever took her seriously, even now. "Why is everyone _so_ insistent I go back to school?" she cried, suddenly sobbing. "Why... why can't..."

Miles put his arm around her and gently rubbed her back. Between the pregnancy last year and the emotional rollercoaster that came with a new baby, he was used to handling Lola's crying by now. "Lo, you're not yourself," he said, taking Hope into his arms. "You're exhausted from being with her all day every day. You're going to drive yourself _crazy_ if you keep this up. It's... it's not good for you. Or for the baby."

"We just want what's best for you," Mr. Pacini added.

Lola looked up from sobbing into Miles' shoulder. "Oh, you _do_?" she said coldly. "That's news to me."

Mrs. Pacini groaned. "Lola, just listen to your fath-"

Lola locked eyes with her dad. "If you care so much..." The tone of her voice changed suddenly- not angry or resentful, just... _sad_. Wounded, even. "If you care so much, then why... why weren't you there for me last year? I _needed_ you, Dad! But you were just in denial! You heard me throwing up in the bathroom every morning, you saw how scared I looked... you _knew_ something was wrong. But you just didn't want to admit it, you didn't want to believe that your princesa could be stupid enough to get herself knocked up-" She gasped for air, running out of breath in between tears. "All I wanted was for you to just hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. But I went through everything alone! I had to research everything on my own, take myself to all my doctor's appointments, teach _myself_ how to change a diaper and... and-" She wiped a tear from her cheek and added quietly, "You weren't even there when she was _born_." She broke down sobbing again.

Mr. Pacini's eyes looked just as hurt as he watched his daughter cry. "Mija, I... you're right. I _should_ have been there for you. I'm sorry... there's... there's no excuse for that." He sighed deeply. "But we're all here for you _now_ , okay? I won't force you to come home, but I can still help. I can babysit, I can help you with your homework, I can buy you more baby clothes..." He looked over at Hope. "I want to be in Hope's life. And yours..." He sighed deeply. "But you've _got_ to go back to school. You've only got one semester left- you can manage that. If you won't do it for yourself, then do it for Hope. Set an example for her."

Miles squeezed Lola's shoulder. "What do you say, Lo?"

Lola took a deep breath. She turned to Mrs. Hollingsworth. "You're _sure_ the nannies around here are qualified?"

"We'll find the right one for Hope," Mrs. H said. "And it'll only be for a few hours a day," she reminded her.

Lola nodded. "And I can skip first period?" she asked, looking to Simpson and Ms. Grell.

"Independent study, technically," Simpson clarified. "But yes, we can make arrangements."

Lola sat there for a moment, just trying to gather her thoughts. "Okay," she whispered.

Miles let out a sigh of relief. _Finally._ "Thank you, Lo," he cried, handing Hope back to her.

Lola looked down at Hope and sighed. "Whatever's best for the baby," she said quietly, giving Hope a kiss on her forehead. "That's all I ever want."


	118. Bad At Love

Here's a Frankie-centered chapter. I really, really hope people are still enjoying this story and that it's not getting boring or anything (I'm still planning on switching to the sequel around Hope's first birthday if there's enough interest in that still). I would love to hear everyone's thoughts, but please keep in mind that I write this story for fun in my spare time and I put a lot of work into every single chapter. I never mind constructive criticism (I encourage it, even), but comments that are purely negative really just make it hard to stay motivated to keep writing, especially because I'm going through a really hard time in real life right now xx

 **Bad At Love**

A couple of weeks had passed since Lola had finally agreed to go back to school. It was an unusually warm day for the beginning of February— Frankie and Lola wore shorts, and Mrs. H even had to turn the thermostat down a few degrees. It was a lazy kind of Saturday, with nothing more to do than sit around watching movies.

Or in Frankie's case, sit around watching movies while everyone around her engaged in the sport of tongue wrestling.

She was sitting on the couch with Miles and Lola kissing on her left and Hunter and Esme cuddling on the floor to her right. Hope was cradled in her lap, sucking her thumb. Lola had finally let her hold the baby again, provided someone else was nearby— Frankie supposed that was fair enough.

Frankie glanced back and forth between the two couples, growing more and more irritated. She always hated being a third wheel, but being a _fourth_ wheel was even worse. It seemed like everyone around her was in love and she couldn't seem to keep a boy interested for more than a month. She sighed loudly.

Miles looked up from kissing Lola. "Can we _help_ you, Frankenstein?"

"Oh no," Frankie rolled her eyes. "Wouldn't want to interrupt your little couplefest."

"Come on, Franks— give us a break," Lola said. "Between school and university, we've barely gotten to spend any time together this week." She leaned in and kissed Miles again.

Frankie groaned again. "God, do you two have to make out _right in front of me,_ though?" Watching Lola suck face with Tiny had been irritating, but watching her do it with her brother was nauseating. "Fine," she muttered, getting up as Miles and Lola kept kissing. "Suit yourself."

She scooped Hope into her arms and walked into the kitchen to grab some lemonade and take a breather. Hope cooed happily— she certainly didn't seem to hold any grudge against her auntie for dropping her a few months ago. "Ammaaa," she babbled, clinging to Frankie.

Frankie smiled at the baby. "That's right, Hope," she cooed, playing along like she actually understood a word of what the baby said. Even though she had initially been upset last year about Miles knocking her best friend up, Frankie had also always been super excited about becoming an aunt. She wasn't exactly aunt of the year yet, but she was working on it.

"Got any snacks?"

Frankie turned around and groaned at the sight of Esme. "Check the cupboards," she muttered, barely looking at her.

Esme rifled through the pantry as if it was her own kitchen. "Is it me," she smirked, pursing her lips, "or is it a tad bit _icy_ in here?"

Frankie rolled her eyes. "Not as cold as the woods you left me in last year."

Esme sighed. "Fair enough," she shrugged. "Look, I wasn't exactly in a good place last year. A lot of shit was going on with me, with my dad, with Zig..." She stared down at the floor. "For the record, I am sorry about the woods thing. That was a bitch move, honestly— even for me."

Frankie didn't know what to say to that, so she just nodded. "So... you and my brother?" she raised her eyebrows. "The _other_ one this time? Do you... do you actually like Hunter?"

"I'm not using him, if that's what you're asking," Esme said, helping herself to a bag of pretzels.

"No, I just..." Frankie sighed as she bounced Hope against her shoulder. "I just don't get you guys."

"Nobody said you had to."

Frankie just shook her head, still unsure of what to say. It was weird having Esme hang around the Hollingsworth house again, honestly. Frankie had spent nearly every afternoon with her and Zig last year baking cupcakes, messing around in the pool, seeing which one of them could do the best impersonation of Jonah. Even though their little throuple had been the talk of the school, Frankie had never really _done_ anything with Esme during their weird whatever-kind-of-relationship that was. The one time Esme dared Frankie to kiss her, Frankie did so for about two seconds and then immediately turned red in the face afterwards. She remembered telling Lola, who was very pregnant and grumpy at the time, about the kiss:

 _"So, does that mean you're like,... bi?" Lola asked. "Pan?" She was never judgy, just genuinely curious._

 _"I don't know," Frankie shrugged. "I mean, I didn't really like the kiss, but I didn't really_ dislike _it either."_

 _"Yeah," Lola nodded understandingly, dipping some pickles into the jar of peanut butter she had perched on her belly. "I mean, who says you even need to label yourself? Just do what you want. Or uh,_ who _you want."_

 _Frankie shook her head laughing. "You get that spiel from Miles?"_

Looking back on their friendship now, Frankie didn't really feel anything romantic or sexual for Esme. But she did miss her sometimes, the intense connection/bond they had... or at least she thought they did. Besides Shay and Lola, Frankie had never been great at keeping friends. Growing up, people had always liked Frankie, but they didn't like her for _herself_. Her classmates liked her for the expensive birthday parties her dad threw every year, for her giant house and pool, for her hot older brother. Frankie had thought Esme might have been one of the few people that actually just cared about _her_ and it crushed her to find out that she was really just some cute little toy meant to keep Zig interested. It stung, almost as bad as her breakup with Jonah.

"Frankie! _Frankie_!"

Frankie snapped back into reality at the sound of Esme's voice, her mind completely having wandered for a minute there. Hope was crying.

"Give her to me," Esme sighed, taking the baby from Frankie without even asking.

"Esme, I don't think-"

Esme rocked Hope back and forth, ignoring Frankie. "You're a pretty girl, aren't you?" she cooed to the baby in a voice Frankie had never heard her use before. " _Yes, you are-"_

Suddenly, Hope stopped crying. Her lips formed into a tiny smile as she looked up at Esme.

Lola rushed into the room just then. "I thought I heard the baby crying." She froze at the sight of Hope cooing happily in Esme's arms. "Um..."

"Here you go," Esme said, handing the baby back over to Lola. "I think she just needed a little attention."

Frankie just stared at Esme. "Where did you learn to be so good with babies?"

"I've got younger half-siblings," Esme shrugged. "Three of them, all under the age of nine. I've practically got a part-time nanny gig going on at home. They're all brats, but they're cute. At least, sometimes."

"You never told me you had siblings," Frankie muttered.

Esme shrugged. "You never asked."

Just then, Mrs. Hollingsworth came downstairs. "Frankie, can I speak to you and your brothers?" She glanced at Esme, adding, "Tell your guest it's time to go home."

 _She's here for Hunter, not me_ , Frankie wanted to say. But instead she just muttered "fine," and marched into the living room, wondering what kind of trouble they were in this time. Lola took the hint and went upstairs to put Hope down for her nap. Even with the whole engagement thing (something Mrs. H was still pretending didn't exist), Lola still felt out of place with these family matters sometimes.

She joined her brothers at the dining room table, glancing between them nervously. Her mother didn't call these family meetings too often. Frankie could count the ocassions over the past year on her hand— once to discuss the whole pregnancy ordeal, once when their father was arrested, and again a few months later when he had a heart attack.

"So," Mrs. H finally said, letting out a deep breath. "We uh, need to discuss something as a family. Or, well, I need to tell you something..."

The kids all glanced back and forth between each other as if to say, _well...?_

Mrs. H cleared her throat. Frankie noticed she looked quite pale all of a sudden. Her hands were even trembling a little the way Miles' did when he got anxious. "Your father and I..." she sighed, not making eye contact with any of them. "We're getting a divorce."

For a moment, nobody spoke. Hunter pressed his palm to his forehead, his face a mixture of lots of emotions as he tried to gather his thoughts. Miles just stared straight ahead with spacey eyes, biting his nails without even realizing he was doing so.

Frankie was the first to speak up. "But... _why_?" she cried, her voice more frantic than she'd expected.

Hunter shook his head. "I'm not even that surprised," he muttered. "He moved out over two years ago."

"But _divorce_?" Frankie said. She didn't know what she'd expected, really. Her parents had been separated for years and her dad was currently in prison, not to mention all of the crap he'd put Miles through. But a part of Frankie had always thought that maybe things could still change, maybe he'd be different after he got out of prison, maybe he and her mom could work things out and they could be a family again. Growing up, she knew her parents fought a lot, but divorce had just never seemed like a real option in their household. Other parents got divorced, sure... but Frankie never wanted to think that hers could. It was such an ugly, final word: _divorce_.

Mrs. H took another deep breath. "We tried all we could," she said simply, her voice strained. "It's just what's best for all of us. For our family, and-"

As her mother kept on talking, saying what sounded like a cliche script off of some parenting website, Frankie suddenly found herself crying. It was embarrassing how much she cried for a seventeen-year-old, she thought to herself. "I thought you loved Dad," she blurted out to her mom, growing angry as she kept on crying. She sobbed.

"Hey, it's— it's okay," Miles tried to offer, awkwardly draping his arm around her to comfort her the way he had when she lit her room on fire last year.

Frankie pushed his arm away, not in the mood. "I can't believe you'd do this to us!" she shouted at her mom.

Before anyone even had a chance to say anything, Frankie got up from the table and stormed up the stairs to her bedroom. She slammed the door behind her and collapsed on her bed in a fit of anger. She sobbed into her pillow, hearing the faint sounds of Hope's crying and her brothers hollering her name from downstairs. The house was anything but quiet— but Frankie had never felt more lonely.


	119. School Days, Part 1

Thank you for all the reviews the past week, it's always just reassuring to know people are still into the story; I really appreciate your feedback. I was going to write a longer chapter, but I didn't want to keep everyone waiting for another week so I figured I'd break it up into two parts instead. This half is from Lola's POV and the next is from Miles'. Not a whole lot of action in this chapter, more of just some reflection that I feel like better establishes the relationships here xx

 **School Days, Part 1**

Lola sat in the back of the classroom on a dreary Monday morning, struggling to stay awake and resisting the urge to text the nanny again. After over a week of searching, they'd finally found someone Lola felt was suitable enough to watch Hope for a few hours a week— a woman who had _two_ sets of twins, all boys. She figured anyone with _that_ kind of experience could handle Hope for a couple of hours. So, it was settled: Lola would watch Hope during first period, Mrs. Hollingsworth would watch her for a couple of hours after that, and then the nanny would take care of her until Miles got home.

It still wasn't easy being away from Hope, but Lola knew Miles had been right to intervene. She hadn't realized just how much she'd missed being around other people her age, being out of the house, even learning.

But that didn't mean being back at school was easy. She didn't have any classes with Frankie or Shay this semester— she was still kind of ticked that they'd hardly noticed her absence. These days, everyone at school either drew too much attention to her (the nickname "Juno" still stuck) or seemed to act like she was invisible. And of course, she had an insane amount of schoolwork to catch up on.

Armstrong cleared his throat, the veteran football coach's way of telling the class to shut up and pay attention. "Today we'll be covering chapter six— basic trigonometry. Now, who remembers _SOHCAHTOA_?"

Lola felt herself nodding off as Armstrong droned on and on about triangles. She'd stayed up late again last night doing homework and Hope woke her up three times wanting to be fed or changed. Miles had slept through the baby monitor twice— or pretended to be asleep— much to Lola's displeasure. In his defense though, he was exhausted from working on his creative writing assignment. If parenting had been difficult before, parenting _while_ going to school was a whole other level of challenging.

"Pass your homework up, everyone. Worksheets from chapters 3-5."

Lola sat up straight, suddenly awake. " _Crap_ ," she realized as she rifled through her backpack. She'd completely forgotten about those assignments. A sense of panic came over her as Armstrong walked down the aisles collecting the papers. Her teachers were already taking a chance on her by letting her back into class weeks into the semester— there's no way she could bother them about getting extensions; she'd done that more than enough this past year.

Someone behind her coughed. "Uh Lola, I think you dropped your homework."

Lola turned around and was surprised to see Saad— she hadn't even noticed he sat right behind her. "What are you talking about-"

Saad just handed her the paper. "You should really be more careful."

Lola stared down at the math worksheet and sighed, realizing what he was doing. "This is yours," she whispered. "I can't just-"

"Just take it," Saad whispered hurriedly as Armstrong came closer.

Lola looked at him hesitantly, then handed the worksheet to Armstrong. She gave Saad a tiny smile. "Why'd you do that?"

"I already have an A in the class," Saad shrugged. "I saw how exhausted you were... figured you needed it more than me."

"Oh... well, thanks," Lola whispered. She didn't know what else to say— the two had only talked once or twice this whole school year. Since that one kiss last summer, she'd mostly kept her distance from him, not wanting to risk rocking the boat with Miles again. She felt kind of bad for just casting their friendship aside like that when he'd been nothing but nice to her. She couldn't say she ever had any serious feelings for him— she'd liked him, sure, but he'd been more of a pleasant distraction than anything else. Still, sometimes she wondered what might have happened between them had things been different.

Saad cleared his throat. "So, ah— how's the baby? Hope, right?"

"Yeah," Lola smiled, surprised he remembered her name. "Hope's great. She's already seven months old. Actually, wait, I have some new pics if you want to see-" She pulled out her cell and found some pictures of Hope trying mashed carrots for the first time the other day, her in her baby swing, her napping in her crib with her teddy bear, her smiling with her first tooth... like any Mom, Lola had a million pics to show off at any moment. "Oh my gosh, I'm probably boring you," Lola giggled nervously to Saad. "Sorry."

"No, no, you're not," Saad assured her. "I think it's nice how proud you are of her."

"Thanks," Lola said. "Um, I'm sorry how we kind of stopped talking last year." She winced a little. "I didn't mean to just ignore you."

Saad merely shrugged. "That's okay. You had a lot going on."

"Yeah," Lola said quietly. She paused for a second, remembering their brief relationship:

 _Lola sat in the cafeteria with Saad last year poking at her sandwich. Her father had made her favorite— peanut butter and jelly sliced into triangles with the crusts cut off. But she couldn't bring herself to eat._

 _"You okay?" Saad asked. "You've barely touched your lunch."_

 _"I'm fine," Lola sighed. "Just... nervous for the ultrasound after school."_

 _Saad looked down at his lunch tray. The baby was always the elephant in the room, something neither of them quite knew how to discuss. Saad had been getting a fair amount of crap for dating the girl who was having Miles Hollingsworth's baby. There had even been a rumor going around that the baby was actually Saad's and Lola was just using Miles for his money. When Saad overheard that ridiculous gossip, he nearly lost his temper at the dumb gamer club nerds who were blabbing about it._

 _Saad didn't hold the pregnancy against Lola or anything— after all, she'd slept with Miles long before the two of them were even friends. But he'd be lying if he said it didn't at least bother him to an extent. The Hollingsworth's were like royalty in this town— Miles was handsome, had a charming smile girls (and guys) couldn't resist, and he was loaded with money... how could Saad possibly compete with that?_

 _Saad reached into his backpack. "Here," he said, offering her a bag of jelly beans. "Maybe these will make you feel better."_

 _Lola smiled and took a handful of pink ones. "Can you just bring me these every day for the next four months?" she giggled._

Lola snapped back into it, having dozed off for a second. "Hey, Saad?"

Saad looked up from taking notes. "Hmm?"

"Is there any way we can... try to be friends?"

Saad smiled. "Yeah," he said quietly. "I'd like that."


	120. School Days, Part 2

So first off, sorry this took so long to post. Life has been crazier than usual, but writing this really makes me happy so I'm going to continue. Second, thank you so much for your reviews. It's always just reassuring to know that people are still reading. Lastly, I had a totally different direction for this chapter but it just wasn't turning out the way I wanted, so I went with this idea instead. I'm a bit iffy about this chapter, but I have some really good storylines coming up soon. Let me know what you all think xx

 **School Days, Part 2**

A couple of days later, Miles stood in the kitchen scrambling eggs and mixing waffles. Lola had been feeling stressed lately, so he was trying to surprise her with breakfast in bed before school. Unfortunately for him, he proved to be a much better waiter than a cook.

"Dammit," he muttered, realizing he'd overcooked the eggs. He tossed them into the garbage and threw a new pair onto the frying pan.

"Da mahh," Hope imitated him from her high chair.

"Ahh, no," Miles scolded her. "Don't say that— it's a bad word."

"Da ma!" Hope squealed, louder this time. She flung some mashed carrot off her baby spoon, splattering it on the ceiling.

Miles groaned— that was the third time this week that had happened. When Mrs. H had first witnessed Miles scraping off the ceiling, she laughed and told him that he had done the same thing with all of his vegetables as a baby. _Payback,_ she called it. Miles wasn't nearly as amused.

He scooped Hope into his arms and wiped her face off with a washcloth. She squirmed, not liking the feeling of a damp towel on her face. _"Wehhh!"_

"Miles?" Lola called, walking down the stairs in those pink panda pajamas. She giggled a little at the sight of Hope covered in carrots. "What are you doing?"

Miles sighed, handing the baby to Lola. "I was trying to surprise you."

"You made me breakfast?" Lola smiled. Her cheeks turned rosy, like a little kid.

"Well, I uh, tried," Miles chuckled, turning off the stove. "The eggs are kinda burnt."

"It's the thought that counts," Lola shrugged, still blushing. "I've really got to teach you more Argentinian recipes, though. You haven't lived til you've tried my dad's _medialunas_." She sighed thoughtfully for a second, thinking back to her days at The Cantina when her world revolved around nothing but orders and customers. Since the intervention, she'd been by the restaurant a handful of times to see her father and coworkers. _"Oh! The little one is muy bonita!"_ the assistant manager Lautaro cried upon seeing Hope the other day. It was almost funny: all the workers had sort of avoided Lola during her pregnancy— her belly brought so much negative attention that Lola was afraid her father might even change the name of the restaurant— but now that Hope was here, everyone couldn't get enough of her. Lola couldn't blame them for being so smitten— Miles Hollingsworth _did_ make gorgeous babies. To say Hope was the cutest thing Lola had ever seen would be a huge understatement. She smiled at the baby now, cooing, _"How's mama's girl?"_

Miles smiled watching the two of them. "You seem more like yourself lately."

"Yeah... I guess," Lola sighed, bouncing Hope on her shoulder. "I mean, I still miss Hope like crazy during the day. But she seems like she's doing fine with the nanny, at least." She helped herself to a bite of the eggs in the pan.

"What do you think?" Miles asked.

Lola smiled, licking the ends of her fork. "Pretty good," she giggled. "But it could use salt— and lime." She winked at him playfully and then planted a soft peck on his cheek, leaving a slight lipstick stain.

The doorbell rang. "Must be the nanny," Miles muttered. "Sorry that my mom couldn't babysit today," he added to Lola as he rushed to answer the door. "Hey, Camila. Come in."

"Good morning, Miles." The nanny stepped into the Hollingsworth living room, her three-inch wooden heels clunking on the hardwood floors. She was petite like Lola, mid-thirties with a slight accent, a fondness for cashmere sweaters, and Miles had to admit, a rather nice figure. Lola had been impressed at how fashionable and well-put together Camila was on top of having four boys under the age of 12. Out of all the nannies they interviewed she had picked Camila for three reasons: 1) her experience, 2) her fashion, and 3) she was the only prospect that didn't bat an eyelash when she saw how young Miles and Lola were. "Hi, Hope!"

Lola forced a smile but still sighed as she handed the baby over to the sitter. She still felt a little unsettled any time she had to leave Hope, a feeling Mrs. Hollingsworth had told her would never quite go away. _That's parenthood,_ she'd said swiftly. "Mommy will be back in a few hours," Lola cooed.

"Yes, yes, get to school," Camila said in a motherly tone as Hope tugged at her sweater. "We'll be fine."

"Thanks for working extra hours today," Miles added.

"It's no problem," Camila said. "It's nice being around babies. Been a long time since mine were this little." She smiled at Hope.

Lola nodded stiffly. "Well," she said, "there's three bottles of formula in the fridge, the baby food is in the same place as last time, the emergency numbers are-"

Miles nudged her. "Lo."

Lola sighed, giving Hope one more kiss on her forehead. "Okay, I'll— I'll get going." She grabbed her backpack off the hanger, but in a rush, dropped it and spilled papers everywhere. She scrambled to clean up.

"Here," Miles offered, rushing to help her. "I'll help-"

"No!" Lola cried suddenly. She turned red in the face. "Uh, I mean, it's okay," she said quickly, turning away from him.

Miles looked at her in confusion, then realized what Lola was scrambling to hide: about a dozen wedding magazines.

"Someone planning a wedding?" Camila asked.

"Um, yeah," Lola muttered, cheeks still pink as she zipped her backpack. "My parents are uh, renewing their vows."

"Oh. Well, that's nice."

Miles just shook his head. "Let's just get to school."

On the car ride to school, Lola sat in the passenger seat humming nervously and fiddling with the radio. "Do you think Hope's okay?" she said, fumbling her fingers through her hair. "She always cries when I leave."

"The doctor said that's normal for her age, remember?" Miles said. _Dammit. Another red light._ "So," he turned to Lola, "I'm guessing all those magazines weren't for your parents." He chuckled a little, a mix between amusement and nervousness. To be honest, he hadn't really thought much about an actual wedding ceremony. Being engaged was kind of similar to how he'd felt at the beginning of Lola's pregnancy last year— it didn't quite feel real yet. It scared him a little, honestly.

Lola's cheeks turned pink again. "I just really like looking at bridal stuff, okay?" she said, still twirling her hair. "Those dresses are just _so cute_!"

The light turned green. "We uh, we never really talked about the actual wedding, er, marriage thing— did we?" Miles realized. "I mean, we never talked about a date or a ceremony or—" He sighed. "I don't know, I thought— I thought maybe we'd wait awhile."

Lola sat with that information for a second. "Can we get a pony for the after party?" she blurted out. "I've always dreamed of having horses at my wedding."

Miles bit his tongue, chuckling a little. But then his face turned serious again. "We should, uh, talk about money, though," he said. He sighed a little. "I... I've been meeting with some advisors. Hope's daycare is going to cost us a lot in the long run, then there's preschool eventually, her college fund..." He pressed his hand to his forehead, getting tired just thinking about it. The trust had seemed like an incredible amount of money at first. But after a few financial meetings, Miles was realizing how much babies actually _cost_. When he was a kid, he'd made a list of all the things he was going to spend his trust fund on: a new flatscreen TV, a new house with glass walls and a jacuzzi, one or two sports cars... now, all he could think about was what Hope would need.

Lola noticed his tension as they pulled into the Degrassi parking lot. "Baby, don't stress," she said calmingly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm just— I just like reading these silly magazines, okay? I'm not expecting some huge ceremony or anything."

"And then there's next year..." Miles started.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what happens when you graduate?" Miles shrugged. "Are you going to uni? Working? Staying home with Hope part-time? Do we get our own place or keep living with my mom?"

Lola leaned back into her seat, sighing. "Let's just— not worry about that stuff right now." She leaned into his shoulder. "All that matters is that I have you and our little munchkin."

Miles couldn't help but laugh. " _Munchkin?"_

"If we're going to be married," Lola giggled, "you'd better learn to like Wizard of Oz. I was Glinda for Halloween three times as a kid. And Toto one year-" She frowned suddenly.

Miles titled his head. "What?"

"Fernando," Lola sighed. "I... I really miss my dog." She sat up. "Miles, do you think... if we got our own place next year, do you think he could live with us? Or maybe we could... we could get a _puppy_?"

Miles stared at her. "You're joking, right?"

"They're _adorable_ ," Lola cried.

Miles shook his head. "Geez, Lo," he muttered. "You might as well just suggest we have another kid too."

Lola frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Miles shook his head. "It means we can't just go around spending money whenever we feel like it." He took a deep breath, suddenly tense. "We have a baby to take care of, we can't just shell out thousands of dollars on a wedding or buy a goddamn _puppy."_

Lola looked down, scooting away from him. "Okay, geez. I'm sorry." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "No puppy." She grabbed her bag from the back and shut the car door.

Miles leaned back into his seat as he watched Lola walk into Degrassi, letting out a deep sigh. As happy as he was to see Lola more back to herself, she could still be so damn _young_ sometimes. He loved her idealisticness and daydreamy nature, but... sometimes it dawned on him that she really _was_ only seventeen. And lately it seemed more like it was on him to always be the adult here, between the accident, the intervention, the finances... as he stared at the budget his advisor gave him, he couldn't help but feel he was way in over his head.


	121. Valentine’s Day, Part 1

Man, this story is getting long lol. Still planning on the sequel after Hope's first birthday. Here's the first installment of a multi-part chapter. As always, please comment with your thoughts if you have time; reviews are always motivating! xx

 **Valentine's Day, Part 1**

Lola stood in the nursery one evening changing Hope into the new outfit her dad bought them. It was made specifically for today: a little red onesie that said "my first Valentine's Day" in lacy pink writing. Lola smiled at the baby— it fit her perfectly. She supposed the outfit was her father's way of trying to patch things up between them. They weren't exactly back to normal yet, but they were working on it.

Miles knocked softly on the door. "Hey, Valentine," he said, coming up behind Lola and wrapping his arms around her waist.

Lola giggled as he kissed her neck. "Hi, you."

"So, I've got a surprise," Miles grinned.

"Oh?" Lola said. Her cheeks turned light pink like her lipstick. "What's that?"

"I thought," Miles murmured, still kissing her neck, "we could go out to dinner tonight. I got us reservations."

"That sounds great!" Lola squealed. "I'll just have to pack the diaper bag and-"

Miles pressed his finger over her lips. "No," he said, "I mean I made reservations for the _two_ of us."

Lola's expression suddenly changed. "But," she cried, lifting Hope off the changing table, "your mom can't babysit tonight and Camila's busy and the twins are-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Miles said, glancing at Hope, who was snuggled up against Lola and cooing softly. She looked so cute in her new outfit. "But Frankie and I talked to Shay and she's more than happy to babysit." He shrugged, giving her a small smile. "She'll be here at six."

Lola sighed. "I just wish you'd talked to me beforehand," she muttered, rubbing Hope's back.

Miles frowned— this wasn't exactly the reaction he was hoping for. "That kind of would have ruined the surprise," he said. "Besides, it's Valentine's Day. We haven't been on a real date in _months_."

"I don't know, Miles."

Miles shook his head, growing frustrated. "I just wanted to do something nice, Lo."

Lola shook her head, trying to get herself to snap out of it. Miles, Frankie, and Shay had probably been coordinating for weeks now all so she could have a nice night out for once. They were just trying to make her happy, she realized. Hope was older now... and besides, it _had_ been forever since she and Miles had gone on a date. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't itching a _little_ to get away for a night. She sometimes forgot they were still teenagers, that they deserved to go out and have a little fun once in awhile. Besides, Shay was one of her more responsible friends. And she'd been around Hope plenty of times before; she was practically her second aunt. "Okay," Lola said, finally smiling a little. "I'll... I'll go. I think Shay knows how to hold a baby better than Frankie at least." She chuckled nervously, trying not to worry herself by thinking of Hope's accident again.

Miles smiled. "I left all the emergency numbers on the fridge. And the bottles, teething rings, bath stuff, changing table, and toys are all set up."

Lola smiled back, admittedly impressed. "Well, you're certainly on top of things," she said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

Miles took Hope from her and put her in her crib. "Go get dressed—there's one more surprise waiting for you in your room."

Lola couldn't help but blush. "You're just full of surprises today, aren't you?" she smirked.

Lola ran into her and Frankie's shared bedroom like a little kid on Christmas morning. Her eyes lit up when she saw what was waiting for her on her bed: a brand new dress and a bouquet of long-stemmed red roses, her favorite flower. "Miles, it's _perfect!_ " she cried. She slipped into her new dress and twirled around excitedly, just so giddy.

"I'm glad," Miles said, his cheeks turning a little red. He wasn't used to being much of a romantic, admittedly. But he really wanted to do something special for Lola this Valentine's Day (and his mother had insisted— _it doesn't matter how long you've been together, you've still got to make her feel special_ , she'd told him). Frankie had actually picked out the dress, since neither of them trusted Miles' fashion sense. And his mother had picked out the roses. But still. It was _his_ idea.

Lola leaned in and kissed him, pulling him onto the bed with her. "Um, what time did you say Shay would be here?"

"In about, uh... twenty minutes."

"Well," Lola smiled, "twenty minutes is _plenty_ of time." She slipped her dress down and climbed on top of him, unbuttoning his dress shirt. It _was_ Valentine's Day, after all. She couldn't help but think how stoked grade nine Lola would have been to have Miles Hollingsworth in her bed kissing her and giving her roses.

Things were just heating up when the door suddenly burst open. "Oh, geez!" Frankie cried from the doorway, covering her eyes. "You know, there _are_ still rules in this house."

Lola turned bright red, immediately letting go of Miles and pulling her dress back up. This was one aspect of her and Frankie's friendship that would never cease to be awkward. Frankie could tell Lola about Zig or Jonah or any boy all she wanted, but Lola wouldn't dare mention a detail about her own sex life around her. The whole best friend's brother situation still was, and probably always would be, deeply uncomfortable.

Miles scowled, buttoning his shirt back up. "Yeah, and one of the rules is to _knock_."

Frankie sighed, still not looking at the two of them. "Anyway. Just get downstairs. I have to leave soon and your babysitters are here."

Lola followed Frankie down the hall while Miles went to get the baby. "Wait— babysitter _s_? As in plural?"

Lola froze at the bottom of the stairs. "Tiny! What are you doing back home?" He was just causally sitting on the sofa, arm around Shay.

"He surprised me for Valentine's Day," Shay said. She was grinning from ear to ear, looking at Tiny like he was the most amazing boy in the world. Seeing the way Tiny and Shay were with each other now, Lola realized she and Tiny had never looked at each other that way. It didn't really make her sad anymore to see them together, honestly. It was just a reminder that things were the way they were supposed to be: Tiny belonged with Shay and Lola belonged with Miles.

"Long time no see," Tiny laughed, awkwardly giving Lola a small hug.

"Yeah," Lola said. "Pretty sure the last time you saw me I was the size of a miniature planet." She'd secretly nicknamed her baby bump _Pluto_ in her third trimester after studying too many chapters on the solar system with Saad. Hope was definitely a better name for a baby girl. _Miles, Lola, we're leaving!_ Frankie hollered from the garage. She was being forced on a "mother-daughter date" with Mrs. H, which she'd been complaining about to Lola all week.

Miles came down the stairs just then carrying a sleepy Hope in his arms. He looked just as surprised to see Tiny. "Oh, uh, hey."

Tiny gave Miles a friendly nod, then shifted his eyes over to Hope. He'd seen pictures of the baby, but he'd never actually met her. He drove Shay to the hospital to see her the day she was born, but he didn't go inside the room with her. He thought that might be too awkward for Lola to have her ex-boyfriend standing there while she was still recovering from labor and all.

Lola took Hope from Miles, cradling her protectively. "Are you _sure_ you can handle her for a couple of hours?" she asked Shay and Tiny.

"We'll be fine," Tiny assured her. Man, it was still kind of crazy to see Lola with a baby. Even though he'd sat next to her in class during her pregnancy last year— after a very hormonal Lola had snapped at him for losing the pen she'd lent him, he made Shay double check her birth control — he still kind of thought of her as innocent, like a little kid herself almost. When he thought of Lola, he remembered the girl who nicknamed her cell phone Julio, who wore mismatched socks with baby animals on them, who insisted he give her a piggyback ride to first period because her new heels were killing her. It was strange to think of her as a _mom_ now.

"Okay," Lola sighed. She kissed Hope's forehead and hugged her. "Bye, baby. Mommy and Daddy will be back in a little bit." She handed the baby over to Shay and followed Miles out the front door, still glancing back at Hope as she walked away.

Hope immediately started to cry as soon as Lola left. At seven-and-a-half months old, she was at that age where separation anxiety really kicked in. Tiny looked at the baby in Shay's lap in a panic, having no clue what to do. He'd never been around babies much before. "Oh, uh, um—"

Shay on the other hand, remained totally calm. "It's okay, Hope," she cooed, rocking her back and forth. She reached into her pocket and held up her keys, dangling them like a little mobile. Gradually, Hope settled down.

Tiny just shook his head. "How'd you _do_ that?"

"It's a trick Lola taught me," Shay shrugged, like it was no big deal. "Um, here— do you wanna hold her?"

"Uh, sure, I guess," Tiny said. He took Hope from Shay's arms and tried to smile at her, admittedly nervous. She really did look like a perfect mixture of Lola and Miles, Tiny couldn't help but notice. It was strange to think she had been right there with them in history class last year growing inside Lola while Perino droned on about medicine in the Middle Ages.

Tiny had found out about Lola's pregnancy a couple of weeks before the rest of the school had. After Shay found out about Lola's secret, she couldn't help but blab to Tiny about it, though she made him swear he wouldn't tell anyone. Tiny had to admit he was shocked at first. Not just that Lola (who had barely even let him feel her up during the eight months they were together) was knocked up, but also that _Miles_ of all people was the father. Sure, there had been rumors, but... the two of them hooking up still took Tiny by surprise. After all, the only real interaction Tiny could recall between Lola and Miles was when he drunkenly sent her junk pics one night. Lola had been so upset that she made Tiny kick Miles out of the Cantina the next day. _Who does that Hollingsjerk think he is? I have a boyfriend!_ she'd said to Tiny. Yet, less than a year later, she was apparently having his baby. Life at Degrassi was never boring, that was for sure.

"Baaa baaa," Hope babbled at Tiny.

"Bottle?" Shay cooed back at her, smiling. "You want your bottle?" She went and grabbed a bottle of formula from the fridge, then gave it to Hope while Tiny held her in his lap still.

Tiny grinned a little. "I didn't realize you were so good with babies."

Shay blushed. "I'm not, really," she said. "I mean, I don't know. I've just spent a lot of time around Hope." She sighed, gently stroking the baby's hair. "Isn't she the cutest?"

Tiny grinned. "Yeah, she's pretty cute." He helped Hope hold her bottle up, but she turned away from it and started to whimper a little.

"Shit," Tiny muttered as Hope cried. He probably shouldn't swear around the baby, he realized as soon as the word came out of his mouth. "Um, what— what do I do?"

"You've got to burp her," Shay said, almost laughing at Tiny's nervousness.

"Oh. Uh, right." Tiny shifted Hope to his shoulder and patted her on the back until she let out a little burping noise.

Shay smiled and took Hope back into her arms. "I bet you'd make a really cute dad," she whispered, planting a kiss on Tiny's cheek.

Tiny just stared at Shay. "Wha— what? Oh god, please tell me you're not—"

" _Tiny_! Of course not!" Shay shook her head. "You really think I'd mess up my chances of getting a sports scholarship?"

Tiny let out a sigh of relief, his heart resuming normally. "Sorry, it's just... you seem so into taking care of Hope and—" He clutched his forehead and laughed under his breath, realizing how ridiculous he was being.

Shay shook her head. "Trust me. I'm perfectly happy with my role as an "aunt" here." She leaned into his shoulder and paused for a second. "But," she said quietly, smiling a little. "You have to admit our kid would be pretty cute."

Tiny couldn't help but smile back. He glanced down at Hope, who was just sucking her thumb and batting her little eyelashes. Kids definitely weren't on his agenda anytime soon. But if he had them someday... well, he'd definitely want to have them with Shay.


	122. Valentine’s Day, Part 2

I was planning on only making this chapter a two-parter, but I think I'm gonna make it a little longer to focus on everyone more. Also I might go back to writing shorter updates more frequently xx

 **Valentine's Day, Part 2**

Lola stared at Miles from the passenger seat for a second, just sighing happily. It took everything in her not to squeal out of excitement right now. She knew it wasn't a huge deal, it was just dinner— but a part of her couldn't believe she was really here spending Valentine's Day with Miles Hollingsworth. In grade nine, she'd studied his yearbook photo for hours, fantasizing about what it'd be like to be his girlfriend rather than just his kid sister's friend. She'd never admit it, but she'd also doodled his name in her notebook a few times— if someone flipped through her old composition book, they'd probably find _Mrs. Lola Hollingsworth_ scribbled in gel pen somewhere. Lola liked to think she had come a long way from those airhead niner days, though she still caught herself blushing like crazy at Miles sometimes.

Miles caught her staring at him just now. "What?"

"Nothing," Lola said quickly. "I just... I feel really lucky to have you."

Miles just smiled, draping his arm around her and fumbling his fingers through her bouncy curls. As much as he loved Hope, he was really glad to finally be able to spend some time alone with Lola. Some time to finally just be... a couple. "Me too."

Lola's cheeks turned all rosy again as she smiled back. "So," she said, leaning into him, "where are you taking me tonight, Mr. Romantic?"

Miles turned a little red himself as he pulled into the parking lot. "Uh, somewhere you know pretty well, actually."

Lola sighed at the familiar sight of the Cantina. She didn't want to hurt Miles' feelings, but she had kind of hoped to go somewhere where she didn't know literally everyone who worked there, or at least some place where she wasn't related to the manager. "Miles, that's sweet and all," she said, "but-"

"Just... come inside with me," Miles interrupted, like he'd already been anticipating her hesitation. He held out his hand. "Please? Just for a second."

Lola twirled her hair for a second, then gave in and took his hand, trusting that he knew what he was doing. With Miles, things were rarely what they appeared to be at first glance. "Hard to say no to that face."

Miles stopped just before they entered the Cantina. "Now, close your eyes..." He opened the door for Lola and led her inside through the restaurant, his arms guiding her shoulders so she wouldn't bump into anything. Lola felt like she was a little kid lined up at a piñata. "Okay, now you can look."

Lola's eyes lit up as soon as she opened them. There was a table set up in the far back— unlike the others around the restaurant, it was covered in cloth and littered with dimly lit candles and scattered rose petals. _Reserved,_ read a sign on the table. "Oh, Miles!" Lola gushed.

Miles smiled, letting out a small sigh of relief. "You like it?" He pulled out her chair for her. "I really wanted to take you somewhere fancy, but Camila needed overtime pay this week and everywhere in town seemed to be booked months in advance and-"

Lola leaned in and kissed him. It occurred to her then that she'd never done that, kissed someone in the cantina in front of all the coworkers who'd watched her grow up. One of the waitresses whistled quietly, giggling with the others. Lola's cheeks turned slightly pink, but to be honest, she didn't mind the gossip. She was just happy to be here with Miles. "It's perfect," she said, settling into her chair.

Miles smiled nervously. "I'm glad." He strummed his fingers against the table, adding, "Your dad said the place would be pretty booked tonight, but of course he could squeeze in something for us."

Lola raised her eyebrows, a little surprised at this. "You called my dad?" She knew Miles had spoken to him about her getting back to school and all and that he'd worked here at the cantina for him for a few months, but she never really imagined the two of them just talking. Her dad seemed to like Miles okay— he'd had to accept their relationship eventually— but it wasn't exactly anyone's dream for their daughter to get pregnant at 16 and move in with her boyfriend. The thought of the two of them just striking up a conversation struck Lola as odd, almost funny even.

"Yeah," Miles shrugged. "Actually, when I first called your house, your, uh, mom answered. I hung up pretty quick." He chuckled nervously.

Lola just shook her head, the mention of her mother leaving a bad taste in her mouth. "Can we not talk about my mom tonight?" she sighed. "I just... wanna enjoy our date."

"Yeah. Of course." Miles picked up a menu, like he didn't already have the entire thing memorized. "Order whatever you want," he smiled.

And so Lola did just that. They made their way through practically the entire appetizer list, two entrees each, and three refills of soda. "Man," Lola sighed happily, tossing her napkin on the table and running her hand over her full belly. "That was good."

Miles tilted his chair back. "Room for dessert?"

Lola laughed and shook her head. "If I eat another bite, I'll end up with a food baby." She pulled out her cell. "Speaking of babies, I'm just, uh, going to check in with Shay real quick." Her phone lit up in response almost as soon as she sent the text.

"Well?" Miles asked.

Lola breathed a sigh of relief. "Baby's fine," she smiled. "They gave her a bath and tucked her in her jammies. They even got her to eat _sweet potato_ , can you believe that?" She turned her phone to Miles, showing him a picture of Hope lying asleep in Tiny's arms.

Miles grinned. "See? Told you she'd be fine."

Lola stared at the photo for a second longer. "She's just so perfect." She looked down, suddenly looking apprehensive.

Miles frowned. "Something wrong?"

Lola shook her head. "No," she said. "No, it's just..." She took a deep breath, reaching for Miles' hand. "I'm really grateful about how things turned out, you know? I mean, I didn't exactly have "become a mom" on my high school bucket list, but..." She pulled her hand away, trembling a little. "When I got pregnant with her, I was _so_ scared. I thought... I thought maybe you would just leave me to deal with things myself. That you'd want nothing to do with the baby. Or that you'd be mad at me."

Miles sat up straight, letting Lola's words sink in. He was almost a bit hurt that she'd thought so little of him back then, but he couldn't blame her really. He hadn't treated her very well the first time around, he knew. "Mad at you?" he frowned. "How I could I be mad at you?"

Lola bit her tongue, suddenly afraid she'd shared too much. "Well," she said, "it's like, you had this whole other life going with Tristan and writing and school and I just kind of... _happened_."

"Well, it's a good thing you did," Miles said, reaching back for her hand. "Lola, do you know how fucking _miserable_ I was before you came into my life? I mean shit, even before the crash, it never felt like this with Tris. Not even close."

Lola squeezed his hand back. "I'm um, I'm really glad _Hope_ happened too," she said. "I know we got pregnant at 16 and all, but I... I don't regret it. Is that a weird thing to say?"

Miles smiled. "No, of course not," he said. He pulled out his wallet to pay for the check. "I'm glad too."

Lola peeked at his wallet, noticing a worn picture poking out of a wad of cash. She looked closer and realized it was the ultrasound photo from last year. "Oh my gosh," she giggled, "you still carry that one around?"

Miles turned a little red. "Yeah," he said, glancing at the picture. "Seeing her like that on that screen was kinda the first time this whole thing really hit me."

Lola nodded, thinking back to that moment:

 _Lola kept her eyes glued to the ultrasound screen, trying not to squirm at the feeling of that sticky goo all over her stomach as the doctor moved the scanner over her. "Can you believe it?" she cried to Miles. "That's really her... or him... just right there in front of us. Ours."_

 _Miles stared at the screen, a little overwhelmed still. "Is that normal for them to move around so much?" he asked the doctor._

 _"Yes," the doctor nodded, smiling. "That's a good sign, actually."_

 _Lola turned to look at Miles. "Know what, Miles?" she smiled. "I think it looks like you!"_

 _Miles laughed a little. "You're saying I look like a fetus?"_

No _," Lola rolled her eyes. "I just think they look like their dad."_

Dad _. That word really sunk in at that moment._

Now, Miles handed the check to the assistant manager, who was standing over them looking all intimidating. There was a certain amount of protectiveness everyone in the cantina seemed to have over Lola.

"Thanks, Lautaro," Lola added, sipping her drink still.

"My pleasure," the tall man said back. He stroked his goatee for a second, observing Miles as if to see if he was good enough for Lola. "You two make a _muy hermosa_ couple."

Miles grinned. That was as close as he'd gotten to a family approval.

"Oh," Lautaro said, glancing at the two tacos left on Miles' plate. "Let me have one of our busboys get you a to-go box for that... _Saad!_ "

Miles nearly spit out his Mr. Pibb.

"Saad!" Lola squealed, smiling as he walked over to their table. "I didn't know you worked here!"

Saad smiled timidly. "I uh, just started last week, actually," he said, handing Miles his to-go box. "My family could really use the extra money, so I figured I'd apply."

Lola was still smiling. "Yeah, how are your siblings?"

"They're good," Saad said. "Abra's liking grade ten... Sonia's doing well... Aimar's a handful.. and Elias is walking and talking."

"Gosh, already?" Lola said, thinking back to babysitting a year ago.

"Yup," Saad said. He grinned, adding, "My sisters were happy to hear you had a girl, by the way."

"Tell them hi for me," Lola chuckled.

"Will do."

Miles, who hadn't said two words to Saad, glanced at Lola uneasily once he'd left.

Lola shrugged. "What?"

Miles shook his head. "Seems like you two are friendly."

Lola sighed, not wanting to get into this again. She'd already apologized for that kiss a million years ago hundreds of times and wasn't particularly eager to discuss this on Valentine's Day. "We're just friends, okay?" she said. She squeezed his hand. "Miles. I love _you_. You're always my first choice."

Miles took a deep breath. He supposed it was time to let it go about Saad. "So are you."

Lola's cheeks turned rosy as she looked at her boyfriend. _Finally_ , she thought to herself. _She was_ finally _someone's first choice._


	123. Valentine’s Day, Part 3

Thanks for the reviews! Always nice to know people are still into this story (minus trolls...) I'm going to update my other one soon too, I've just been a little blocked with that one lately, sorry. This chapter is centered around Frankie and Mrs. Hollingsworth.

 **Valentine's Day, Part 3**

Frankie kept her eyes glued to her cell phone on the way to the restaurant, sighing loudly again. Mrs. Hollingsworth was dragging her out on a mother-daughter night. "It'll be fun!" her mom had said. "We can get dressed up and go to that spaghetti place you love, just like old times."

Frankie hadn't liked that Italian restaurant since she was about twelve. She'd stopped going there after the lasagna gave her food poisoning at her birthday party. But Mrs. H was _very_ insistent that they spend some mother-daughter time together.

When she was little, Frankie used to love going out with her mom. They would do it once every other week, the two of them having a girls' night out while the men of the household stayed in and did... well, whatever it was Hollingsworth boys did. For a couple of hours, Frankie finally would have the chance to gab with her mom about dresses and boys and girly things without any eyerolls or snide comments from her dumb brothers. But that was before. Before Miles started acting out and got sent to boarding school, before her parents' marriage troubles, before Hunter's stay at the psych ward, before Hope was born, before Frankie dated Zig and Jonah and Winston and dyed her hair that stupid, stupid blonde streak. Back when things were simple— no divorce, no scandals, no babies, just the two Hollingsworth girls together. Now, things couldn't be more different.

Mrs. Hollingsworth pretended not to hear Frankie's sighing. "Well, this is nice! Just the two of us for a change."

Frankie kept her eyes glued to her phone, even though she wasn't even texting anyone. "I don't know why you dragged me out," she muttered. "I could have stayed home and babysitted."

Mrs. H narrowed her eyes at her, as if to say _yeah, right_. It would probably be years before Miles and Lola left Frankie in charge of Hope again.

Frankie shrugged. "I'm just _saying_."

Mrs. H parked the car, then took a deep breath and turned to Frankie. "Give me your phone."

" _What_?"

"I said, give me your phone." Mrs. H held out her hand. " _Now_ , Francesca."

Frankie scoffed, trying to decide if her mother was for real or not. She hadn't confiscated her cell phone since she was 14, after the whole Degrassi nudes scandal. "Fine," she huffed, handing her phone over and not making eye contact.

Mrs. H put the cell phone into her purse. "I'm not going to spend the whole night listening to you pout."

Frankie didn't say anything. She just stared out the window.

Mrs. H just shook her head. "Let's just go inside," she muttered, grabbing her purse and slamming the car door behind her. Great. They hadn't even stepped foot in the restaurant yet and they were already arguing.

Frankie glanced around the restaurant as she took her seat at the table. Being Valentine's Day, it was of course filled with couples. She thought she recognized a few of them— was that _Bazz_ with some girl? Probably a cousin or something. Frankie desperately hoped nobody would come say hi to her or anything. Spending Valentine's Day dateless was lame enough, but spending it on a date with your _mother_ was social suicide.

Mrs. H looked up from her menu. "I think I'll order the lasagna. How about you, Frankie?"

"Anything but the lasagna."

Mrs. H shot her a look. "Francesca."

"Okay, okay. Um... the spaghetti, I guess."

The waiter, a cute guy in his mid-to-late twenties, came by and took their order. Frankie couldn't help but notice her mother subtly checking him out, much to her disgust. "...And a glass of red wine for me," Mrs. H added to the waiter.

Once the waiter left, Mrs. H's expression turned serious. "Listen, Frankie," she said. "I know you're upset with me about the divorce..." She took a sip of her wine. "But you have to understand. It's what's best for our family."

Frankie poked at the breadsticks in front of her. "You guys never mentioned anything about divorce before." She bit into one— it tasted like cardboard.

Mrs. H sighed. "We started the papers over a year ago, but with everything going on with the baby and your father's legal troubles, we just kept putting it off. And we just wanted to be... well, we wanted to be absolutely sure."

Frankie didn't look at her. "And you're sure now because he's in prison?"

"And a lot of other reasons," Mrs. H sighed. "Frankie. You remember what it was like when he lived with us still— don't you remember how intense things got between him and Miles? Between _all_ of us?" She paused. "Look. I spent far too long holding on to the marriage and trying to make it work. But it was a mistake to try and get back together. I... I can't put your brother through that again. Or myself. I'm sorry Frankie, but the divorce is happening."

Frankie still couldn't look her mother in the eye, afraid she would start crying right here in the middle of the restaurant. She didn't even know _why_ she was so upset, exactly. It wasn't like she and her dad were even close. She knew her parents' marriage was in the gutter and had been for a long time. But she just never thought she would end up with divorced parents. When she was kid, her parents seemed perfect. And as screwed up as things got, they were still a family at the end of the day. But now everything was different. And Frankie just wasn't ready to face the reality that her family really was broken.

The waiter brought the food out just then, interrupting the awkward silence. "Anything else I can get you two?"

Mrs. H tried to smile. "No, thanks. We're fine." She turned back to Frankie. "Um... there's something else. I was going to wait to tell you and your brothers together, but given how upset you were about the divorce, I figured it'd be best to tell you alone."

Frankie sat up straight. _Shit, what bombshell was her mom going to drop on her now?_ "What could be worse than divorce?"

"I didn't say it was bad news," Mrs. H frowned. She took a sip of her wine. "The truth is, I... I'm seeing someone."

Frankie just stared at her for a second. "What?"

"I wasn't going to say anything," Mrs. H said. "But we've gotten quite serious, and-"

"You're _seeing_ someone. As in a boyfriend?"

"His name is Raymond," Mrs. H said. "He's um, he was my yoga instructor. He's a few years younger, but-"

Frankie dropped her fork onto her plate. "Unbelievable."

Mrs. H took a deep breath, as if bracing herself for the argument. "Frankie."

"You and dad aren't even divorced yet and you're already shacking up with your _yoga instructor_?"

Mrs. H shook her head. "This is why I wanted to tell you alone. I knew you'd get all upset..." She took another sip of wine. "You know Frankie, I know it's been a hard year. But you've been _so_ difficult lately. Between your attitude, the partying, you dating that Zig..."

Frankie poked at her food. "Well, at least I don't have a _baby_."

"How long are you going to use that as an excuse?" Mrs. H said sternly. "Hmm? Because as much as I'm not thrilled about your brother becoming a teenage father, he's at least grown up and stepped up to his responsibilities. _You_ just keep acting like a child— honestly Francesca, I don't know what to do with you anymore."

Frankie just sat there for a second, so upset she was nearly in tears. "Well, what do you expect?" she cried. "You and dad are getting a divorce, my boyfriend dumped me, Dad is in prison, my best friend is marrying my _brother_... and you just told me you have some secret boyfriend you've been hiding from us." She shoved her food aside, not hungry. "Are you all _trying_ to make me go crazy? Because it's working."

Mrs. H sighed deeply. "I think— I think maybe we should go to family therapy. It would be good for you, for us."

Frankie didn't say anything.

"Let's just get the check," Mrs. H muttered. To say the evening hadn't turned out the way she'd hoped would be a massive understatement.

While Mrs. H paid, Frankie excused herself to go to the bathroom. She started crying on her way over, suddenly unable to hold it in. She was so caught up in her emotions that she didn't notice she bumped right into some guy. "Hey!" she said. "Watch where you're—" She froze as the boy turned around. "—going." She gulped. "Jonah."

Jonah looked just as uncomfortable. "Frankie." He scratched his head. "Er... hi."

"Hi."

Suddenly, a little girl, no more than three or four, ran up to Jonah. "Daddy, Daddy! Can we get ice cream?"

Jonah glanced down at the small girl. "Sure," he said, taking her hand. He turned back to Frankie awkwardly. "I'll um... see you around, Frankie."

Frankie just stood there frozen as Jonah walked away with the kid, trying to process what she'd just seen. She was right— everyone _was_ trying to drive her crazy.


	124. Sisters

How do you guys feel about the current plotlines? I have some more ideas lined up but I'm also still planning on an eventual sequel I think xx

 **Sisters**

Things were still tense around the Hollingsworth house. Mrs. Hollingsworth spilled the beans about her secret boyfriend to Miles and Hunter when she got home— they weren't exactly thrilled, but they honestly didn't mind that much. Miles was just relieved his mom wasn't seeing his father again or something.

Frankie on the other hand, was still moping around the house and driving everyone around her nuts. After she found out two bombshells in one night— the secret boyfriend _and_ that her ex had a secret daughter— she ran up to her room and screamed into her pillow, which upset Hope.

"Wait, so let me get this straight," Lola said, sitting on the edge of Frankie's bed and rocking Hope back and forth. "Jonah has a _kid_?"

"Yes!" Frankie cried. "And he kept it a secret from me the entire time we were together! Can you imagine? Hiding something like that from the person you're dating?"

Lola frowned, trying not to take that as a jab at her and Saad's former relationship. She supposed that was different, though. "Damn. Didn't see that one coming. Um, do you know who he had the kid with?" she said. "Like... was there a girl with them?"

"I didn't see anyone." She pressed her palm to her forehead. "God, I'll bet _that's_ why he didn't want to have sex with me."

"Well, actually, I thought he and Grace did end up having—" Lola stopped herself, realizing there was some bits of gossip she shouldn't share.

Frankie just shook her head. "My life is a joke," she moaned. She finally looked up from her pillow. "How was your date with Miles?"

"It was _great,_ actually," Lola smiled. "He set up this whole table at the Cantina with candles and rose petals and everything." She sighed happily.

"Must be nice," Frankie muttered.

"Come on, Franks," Lola said, growing a little tired of the Frankie Hollingsworth drama hour. "You'll have that someday too. I mean, when you were dating Jonah and Shay had just started seeing Tiny, I felt so left out. But if I hadn't gotten dumped by Tiny, I wouldn't have Miles now." She glanced down at Hope and gave her a kiss on the forehead, adding, "Or you, baby." Hope giggled a little.

Frankie sat up straight. "Lo, do you ever think about... well... is this really how you thought our senior year would turn out?"

"What do you mean?"

Frankie sighed. "I mean, when you look back at freshman year, did you ever think things would end up so crappy with my family? Or that Hunter would be dating Esme? Or that you would get pregnant?"

Lola frowned a little. "I mean, obviously it wasn't planned," she said. "I didn't wander into Miles' room that night and tell him to _impregnate_ me. Like okay, honestly, I hadn't even planned on hooking up with him that night. But, well..." She glanced down at Hope and sighed, gently stroking the baby's cheek. "I wouldn't change it. Miles and Hope are the best things that have ever happened to me."

Frankie thought about that for a second. It was true Lola had always seemed happy with Miles, even through everything. If it had been Frankie who'd gotten knocked up, she would have dropped dead from embarrassment. But Lola had never seemed ashamed of anything— she had no problem walking down the hallway with Miles and her baby bump for all of the school to see, even those who majorly judged her for the whole complicated boyfriend-in-a-coma-affair situation. Even now, Lola still decorated her locker with pictures of Hope and just laughed whenever someone made a milf joke. Sometimes Frankie wished she had Lola's confidence. She wondered when exactly things had switched up like this, when Lola had gone from being boy-crazy and ditzy to responsible and level-headed. Frankie felt like her friends had grown up, but she was just kind of... stuck.

Lola glanced at her phone as a notification went off. "Eeek!" she squealed. "TMZ says Justin and Selena are back together!"

Frankie quietly breathed a sigh of relief— maybe Lola hadn't quite out-matured her after all. "What is that, the fifth time this year?" she laughed.

Lola shrugged. "I guess if someone's meant for you, you'll find your way back to each other."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

Frankie sighed. "What made you hook up with my brother that night?"

"Um," Lola stammered. This was reaching into awkward territory for the two of them— there was a reason she hadn't told Frankie when she lost her virginity. "I guess I just... I had a _feeling_. I felt something between me and him, something I hadn't even felt with Tiny. Like... he really got me, you know?"

Frankie nodded, letting Lola's words sink in. She wanted to say she knew exactly what Lola meant, that she had felt that too. But truthfully, looking back on all her relationships, she never really felt that same deep connection Lola was talking about. She'd thought maybe she had with Jonah, but... at the end of the day, nobody had really loved her back the same way.

Hope reached out towards Frankie. "Amaaa," she cooed, breaking the silence. Lola smiled at her and handed her to Frankie.

Frankie looked down at her niece as she rocked her back and forth. Hope was truly a mix of Miles and Lola. She was the product of their connection, the only thing they loved more than each other. Hope only made Miles and Lola's bond stonger, in ways Frankie wasn't sure she would ever feel. She remembered how thrilled Lola was when she sat on Frankie's bed last year, whispering, "Oh my gosh— did you feel that? It's the baby... it's kicking again!" Or how secure and safe she seemed falling asleep on the couch with Miles, Hope in between them. Frankie wanted that— not a baby, gosh no, but a _connection_. Someone who really got her.

Lola watched as Hope tugged on Frankie's sweater. "Hey, Franks," she said, handing the baby her pacifier, "I was wondering... would you... would you maybe be my maid of honor?"

Frankie's eyes lit up. " _Really_?" she cried. Maybe she wasn't useless around here after all.

Lola smiled. "It... it won't be for awhile," she said. "But I thought I'd ask." She paused for a second, adding, "I hope Shay won't be hurt..."

"Yes!" Frankie squealed. "Yes, _of course_!" She hugged Lola suddenly, nearly sending Hope toppling off the bed.

Lola quickly scooped Hope back into her arms. "I'm so glad," she smiled.

Frankie was still giddy. Maybe she didn't have a family like Lola or science skills like Shay or writing talent like Miles, but she had this. She was going to be the best maid of honor the world had ever seen.


	125. Talking In Your Sleep

I felt like Hope has kind of taken a backseat in the story lately, so here's a baby-centered chapter. Any storylines you'd like to see further explored? xx

 **Talking In Your Sleep**

Lola groaned as the baby monitor went off again. _What was this, the sixth time tonight_? Hope had been much fussier than usual lately. Just when she thought the baby had reached the point of sleeping through most nights, she'd started waking Miles and Lola up every hour or two again. Their pediatrician had warned them about this— it was apparently common behavior for eight-month olds. The doctor called it "sleep regression." Lola just called it "the worst thing since Brangelina broke up."

Exhausted, Lola nudged Miles in his sleep, hoping he would get up with the baby for a change instead. "Miles," she whispered, poking him. Mrs. Hollingsworth was out of town for the weekend at her boyfriend's (something Frankie had practically barfed at), so Lola was sleeping in Miles' bed. It was convenient for getting up in the middle of the night with the baby. And it was convenient for um, _other_ things, Lola could admit.

Miles didn't budge. "Urghhh," he groaned in his sleep, hogging the covers.

"Miles." Lola sighed as he kept sleeping— she had already gotten up with Hope four times tonight, shouldn't it be _his_ turn by now?

Finally, she grew so frustrated that she just yanked the covers right off of him. " _Miles_!"

Miles jolted awake. "Huh? Wha-?"

Lola grabbed the covers back and collapsed back onto the mattress. "Your daughter's calling you," she mumbled grumpily over the crying baby monitor.

Miles just shook his head, equally grumpy. He was exhausted from midterms and playing with the baby all evening. "Real mature, Lo."

"Oh, I'm sorry— did _you_ have to carry her for nine months and go through labor?"

Miles didn't have a comeback for that so he just sighed and hopped off the bed. He walked down the hallway towards the nursery, hearing Hunter's stupid Realm of Doom game coming from his room. He supposed he should tell him to turn it off and go to bed, but he didn't feel like playing de facto father tonight— he already had his own kid to take care of.

He walked into the nursery where Hope was still crying. "Hey, baby," he cooed to her, lifting her out of her crib. "Shhh— _you're_ _okay_."

Hope still cried. Miles sighed and settled into the rocking chair with her, cradling the fussy baby in his arms. As he rocked her back and forth, he glanced around the nursery and thought back to when the room was nothing but a spare bedroom in the Hollingsworth mansion. He remembered fooling around with Maya in here a few years ago, and then with Tris a year or two after that. _Man_ , he thought to himself as he looked down at the tiny baby in his arms. If someone had told him a couple of years ago that he'd be spending his university years changing diapers and holding bottles, he would have said they were crazy. He could barely handle that robot baby assignment a few years ago, yet here he was now. It had all happened so fast with Lola, from that first day in the hallway, to the night of the party, to where they were now with their little family. It seemed crazy to him that it was only a couple of years ago that his days revolved around nothing but school, weed, and a tumultuous relationship with the John Travolta-haired school president. He could hardly believe there was really a time when he considered Tristan Milligan to be the love of his life. It was laughable almost, how little he'd settled for back then. Sure, things weren't easy now being a teen father and all but, life was... well, _better_ now. Even with a colicky baby.

"What's wrong, Hope?" Miles whispered gently. He rubbed the baby's back, trying to soothe her. He wondered if his own father had done the same with him all those years ago. He really couldn't picture his dad being... well, just being a dad. That was one of the things that terrified Miles the most about being a father, the fear that he would turn out like his own dad. But he could never imagine doing those things to Hope; he would rather cut off his own arm than hurt her.

Miles hadn't bonded with the baby as immediately as Lola had, he could admit. He'd wanted to— he cried when he held her the first time and he loved her the second he saw her on that ultrasound screen all those months ago. But there was a certain overwhelmingness that came with new fatherhood. It had taken him awhile to really get to know his baby, to figure out what made her happy, what made her cry, the way she liked to be held, her favorite lullabies and pacifiers and toys. Lola had that whole nine months to bond with her, but Miles had really just had to start from scratch right in that delivery room. He looked down at the baby now, gently stroking her cheek. As Hope clung to him and let out soft cooing noises in between her cries, he knew their connection was strong.

Suddenly, Hope let out a little sneeze. " _Achoo!_ "

"Bless you," Miles whispered, chuckling a little.

Hope sneezed again. " _Achoo!_ " she cried, getting snot all over Miles' tank top this time. She started to cry again, louder this time.

Miles felt the top of her forehead. _Shit_. "Lola...?" he shouted, walking down the hallway with the crying baby.

"Hmm?" Lola muttered groggily, eyes still closed.

Miles brought the baby over to her on the bed. "I think... I think Hope's sick," he said, turning a bit pale. "Her little forehead is warm."

Lola sat up, suddenly awake. She took Hope into her arms and immediately checked her forehead. "Oh my gosh, you're right!"

" _Achoo!_ "

"My poor baby!" Lola cried, rocking her back and forth and fussing over her. She'd never been so protective of anything in her life— grade nine Lola would have only been this protective over her cell phone. She turned to Miles, looking frantic.

Miles noticed her apprehension. "What is it?" he asked, taking a seat on the bed and draping his arm around her.

Lola looked down at the baby. "I... I don't know what to do," she stammered. She was so shaky she looked like she was about to cry. "I... I think... I think I read about baby colds in one of those parenting books ages ago. But I... _I can't remember what to do._ " She pulled Hope closer, looking almost helpless.

Miles tried to calm Lola down. "Hey, it's... it's okay," he said. He glanced over at Hope, who was still fussing and sniffling. "I think we have a humidifier, don't we?"

Lola shook her head. "It's back at my dad's."

"Okay," Miles sighed, holding back a yawn. "Then let's get a damp washcloth or something to put on her forehead at least." He gave Lola a small peck on the cheek, then went to grab a towel from the hall closet.

 _"How to treat a baby's cold."_

 _"Here's what I found about baby mold."_

Miles walked back into the bedroom overhearing the noise. "Uh, Lo?" he said, trying to keep from laughing. "Are you seriously asking _Siri_ what to do?"

Lola grabbed the damp washcloth and pressed it to Hope's forehead. "I can't believe I don't know what to do," she sniffled. "I... I thought I knew everything. Before she was born I read everything on diapering, nursing, sleep schedules... but I... I don't even know how to handle a stupid _cold_."

"Hey, go easy on yourself, okay?" Miles sighed. Having Lola and Hope living here with him like this sometimes made it feel like they were a grown married couple. But at the end of the day, they were still just teenagers trying to take care of a little human being, a task that admittedly seemed way over their heads sometimes.

" _Aaahhhwahhh_!" Hope screamed, sniffling and panting as she cried.

"No, no, don't cry, Hope," Lola cooed to her frantically. "Mommy and Daddy are here." She rocked her back and forth, bounced her against her shoulder, rubbed her back... nothing seemed to make her feel better. Lola felt just as awful as Hope. There was nothing she hated more than seeing her baby in pain.

"Let me try walking with her for a minute," Miles offered wearily. He took the baby into his arms and walked up and down the hallway, rubbing her back and trying any lullabies he could vaguely remember the lyrics to. But her cries only seemed to grow louder.

Hunter's door burst open. "What's going on?" he mumbled grumpily. "It's 4 a.m.!"

Miles groaned, getting frustrated as the baby kept on screaming. "Just your daily reminder to always use condoms," he muttered to his brother, rolling his eyes.

" _Miles,"_ Lola said.

"Kidding— geez," Miles said, shifting Hope to his other shoulder. "Any luck on WebMD?"

Lola shook her head. "There's not much we can do... she's too young for most medicines." She started to tear up, overly exhausted. "I don't know what to do."

Miles turned to Hunter. "Go grab me another washcloth, will you?"

Lola took the baby back into her arms. "I wish your mom was here," she sighed to Miles.

"Yeah," Miles said, pressing the washcloth to Hope's forehead. "We sure could use the help."

 _Wait_ , Lola realized. Maybe there was one thing she could do to make this better. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed. "Hey, Dad?"


	126. Stay a Little Longer

**Stay a Little Longer**

Mr. Pacini jumped into the car and drove over to the Hollingsworths' place as soon as he hung up the phone. It wasn't like it was a huge emergency or anything— babies got colds all the time and Hope would probably be just fine within a couple of days. But when Lola called him at 4 a.m. in tears, he knew his daughter needed him right away. He didn't bother waking his wife, deciding to just leave her a quick note instead. The subject of Lola— and Hope — was a guaranteed way to start an argument between them. Mrs. Pacini was still upset that Lola had moved out, and she was even more upset that her husband wasn't willing to just drag her back home already. Lola's dad kept trying to convince himself he was doing the right thing by trying to put their family back together, that Lola would eventually be happy to have her parents together again and would come back home. Lately though, he wasn't so sure.

Lola answered the door like it was her own place. "Oh, thank _god_ you're here, Dad!" she cried, cradling a screaming Hope against her shoulder. "She's been fussing like this for hours," Lola sniffled. "I... I don't know how to make her feel better..."

"She'll be alright, Mija," Mr. Pacini tried to assure Lola. He took Hope into his arms and handed Lola a grocery bag full of supplies. "I brought my best remedies— chamomile, hot milk, ginger..."

Lola rummaged through the bag. "Are you sure these are safe for her?"

"I used them with you as a baby."

Miles came downstairs just then carrying Hope's teddy bear, pacifier, and favorite blanket. "Thanks for coming," he said to Lola's dad, looking beyond tired. "My mom's out of town and we just... we didn't know what to do." He shrugged awkwardly, like he was embarrassed to admit that. Even though he had worked for him at the Cantina for a couple of months, he still always felt kind of awkward around Lola's father. Miles kind of felt like he was responsible for the rift between Lola and her dad, like he'd stolen his daughter away from him in a way.

"Of course, of course," Mr. Pacini said quickly. He rocked Hope back and forth and rubbed her back, still trying to get her to calm down. "Now, have you tried giving her a bath?"

"Won't that make her fever worse?" Lola asked worriedly.

"No, lukewarm baths are good for babies," Mr. Pacini said. "Shh, shh," he added to the fussy baby as he bounced her against his shoulder. Lola had never really seen him in grandpa mode like this before. Sure, he'd always loved Hope— but back when Lola lived with him, he hardly did anything but change the occasional diaper or maybe get up with the baby once or twice in the middle of the night when Lola was too exhausted. This right here was different, like he was showing for the first time that he actually did care.

Miles drew a lukewarm bath in the tub upstairs while Lola and her dad got Hope undressed. "Shh, shh, you're fine, sweetie," Lola whispered to the crying baby frantically.

"Mija, calm down," Mr. Pacini said, almost chuckling. "It's just a cold."

Lola just sighed worriedly. "Oh, let me go get her bath toys. She won't get in the tub without them..."

Miles shrugged awkwardly at Lola's dad after she left the room. "Sorry, Lo's uh... she just gets overprotective sometimes," he said, carefully putting Hope in the tub. "Especially since the baby's accident and all."

Mr. Pacini glanced up, startled. "Accident? What accident?"

Lola came back in just then, carrying a huge load of rubber animals, submarines, Disney figurines, and sponge toys. She dropped a rubber duck on the floor, causing it to quack like crazy. Hope finally giggled a tiny bit at the noise.

Miles shook his head, trying to keep from laughing. "Uh, I don't think Hope needs quite this many."

"Yes, she does!" Lola insisted, handing the duck to the baby.

Mr. Pacini cleared his throat. "Mija... what accident? What happened with the baby?"

Lola glanced back at Miles, who just looked down at the floor uncomfortably. He hadn't realized Lola hadn't told her father about Hope's stitches.

"Um," Lola said. She gently scrubbed Hope with some baby soap and sighed. "Hope, she... she split her chin a few months ago. She had to get a couple of stitches, but she's fine now..."

Mr. Pacini was quiet. "You never told me."

Hope whacked the toy duck, making it quack loudly again. Combined with the metal music coming from Hunter's room and the baby's crying, the house was almost as loud as a Hollingsworth party back in the day.

Frankie came into the bathroom wearing her fuzzy pink bathrobe and slippers. "What's going on?" she yawned. She glanced at Lola's dad, surprised to see him. "Oh, um, hi, Mr. Pacini," she mumbled, suddenly embarrassed by her outfit. She hadn't seen Lola's father in ages, not since Lola moved out, really.

"Hope's sick," Miles said to his sister.

"Just helping out a bit," Mr. Pacini said, forcing a smile.

Frankie glanced at the baby, who was back to fussing. "Oh... anything I can do to help?"

Miles lifted Hope out of the tub. "Yeah, tell Hunter to turn his stupid music down," he muttered, wrapping the baby in a towel and handing her to Lola's dad. "Oh, and grab me Hope's blanket, will ya? I think I left it downstairs." Frankie nodded and ran to go find the blanket.

"I think her fever's gone down a little," Mr. Pacini said, feeling Hope's forehead.

" _Miles, I can't find it!"_ Frankie hollered from downstairs.

Miles groaned. "Be right back," he said, excusing himself.

Lola took Hope into the nursery, where her dad helped change Hope into fresh pajamas. "It's the worst seeing her like this," Lola said as Hope coughed and sniffled. "You know? Knowing she feels awful and that I can't make her feel any better."

"Yeah," Mr. Pacini said. He stared long and hard at Lola as she tended to the baby. "I know exactly the feeling." He glanced at Hope. "Lola," he said quietly, "I really am sorry I wasn't there when she was born. But that... I think that's the reason why I didn't come. I... I couldn't watch you go through pain like that."

Lola nodded. "I really needed my dad, though."

"I know," Mr. Pacini sighed. "You know, I was just remembering— when you were around six or seven months old, you had a really high fever one night. I remember you woke me up crying louder than anything I'd ever heard... you screamed my ear off all the way to the hospital. I remember I turned to your mom, I said, _she's going to be a feisty one, isn't she_?" He chuckled a little. "And boy, was I right."

Lola smiled a tiny bit. Hope leaned into her, sniffling, but not crying much anymore. "Bet I didn't yell as loud as when I begged you for a pony that one Christmas."

Mr. Pacini shook his head. "You wouldn't _stop,"_ he laughed. "You followed me around the house for weeks asking and asking. And when I told you no, when I tried to explain that our little two-bedroom house wasn't big enough for one, you shouted, _THAT'S NOT FAIR!_ I don't think I've ever seen a little girl's face turn so red."

"I'm _so_ not looking forward to the terrible-twos," Lola giggled, rubbing Hope's back.

Mr. Pacini smiled, but then got quiet again for a second. "Mija," he said. "Why won't you come home? Are things really that bad with your mother?"

"Me and Mom, we just... I just..." She tried to find the right words. "How can you forgive her, Dad? I mean, she _left_ us!"

Mr. Pacini didn't look at her. "Some things you just have to be older to understand."

Lola wanted to roll her eyes. She was a mom herself now, what could she possibly not be old enough to understand?

"Look," Mr. Pacini said. "Maybe it was a bit of a stretch to expect you to come watch us renew our vows. But maybe... maybe we could start smaller. Like lunch with the three-" He glanced at Hope, "- _four_ of us. She does miss you, Mija."

Lola put Hope into her crib, the baby finally having settled down enough. "Okay," she whispered. "Maybe... maybe lunch sometime. _Maybe_."

Miles came in just then. " _Finally_ found her blanket!"

 _Wehhhhhhhh!_

Lola groaned, beyond exhausted. Miles scrambled to pick up the screaming baby. "It's okay, Lo," he said. "I've got her. You should get some rest. I know you've got a lot of homework to do tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Lola asked, sighing worriedly. "Okay... well thanks, baby." She turned to give him a kiss, then just planted it on his cheek at the last second. Baby or not, it was still weird to kiss a guy in front of her father. "Um, Dad?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you, uh, maybe stay here tonight?" Lola shrugged. "Just like, on the couch or something?" She laughed under her breath slightly, adding, "It's just nice having an actual grown-up around."

Mr. Pacini smiled. "Sure, princesa. Of course." He went downstairs to go pour himself a glass of water. When he came back upstairs to check on Lola, she was already fast asleep in her bed. He smiled for a second, then laid a blanket over her and tucked her in, wondering just where all the years had gone.


	127. Sick Leave

Literally cannot thank you all enough for sticking with this story so long. Hope the baby-related plots aren't too boring or anything. I'll be bringing Hunter and Esme as well as some other characters back into focus pretty soon. And yes, I'm working on my other fic still— just in the process of outlining still, sorry that one is taking so long! As always, please leave a comment if you can! And feel free to follow my new degrassi twitter @molaspacini

 **Sick Leave**

"Miles, seriously— just let me stay home with her today!"

"Lola, _no._ You missed three weeks at the beginning of the semester. My professors don't take attendance... let me handle her today."

Lola was pacing around the kitchen cradling Hope and wearing a sweater that looked at least three sizes too big on her. That was a sure-fire sign she was distracted with the baby being sick— Lola would _never_ be caught dead in such subpar attire otherwise. She glanced at Hope, who was nuzzled against her chest and making that half-sniffle, half-whimper noise she'd been doing lately. " _Please_ , Miles!"

"Lola, _no_!" Miles shook his head, growing frustrated. He sighed. "Don't you trust me with her?"

"Of _course_ I do, Miles," Lola said. Hope let out a tiny sneeze, sounding like a little squirrel. "I just hate leaving her when she's sick like this."

Hope had been sick for a few days now. Her fever had gone down, but she was still sniffling and coughing and just generally miserable. Lola's dad had stopped by each day with homemade remedies and Mrs. Hollingsworth would be back later today, which would help. Lola and Miles had decided not to have Camilla babysit for a few days; they didn't want Hope to get her and her little boys sick. Besides, Miles felt like he really needed to be there for his daughter right now. He'd been so busy with coursework lately that he hadn't spent nearly enough time with Hope, something he felt terribly guilty about. He didn't want to be the kind of father that made up for lack of quality time with crap like lavish gifts and money. So, he'd spent the past two days at home with her. "Yeah, I know," he said, looking over at Hope. "I mean, I do get it, Lo. Before you moved in, it was hard being apart from her all the time. And back when you were pregnant with her, I was a nervous wreck anytime you texted me that you weren't feeling well. I mean shit, when she was born, I think the doctors were more worried about _me_ fainting than you."

Lola laughed under her breath slightly. "You ever think about how crazy it is?" she said, glancing down at the baby. "How this little human somehow became the center of our entire universe?"

Miles smiled a tiny bit. "Yeah," he said quietly, chuckling a little. "It really is crazy." He'd never loved anything the same way he loved Hope. Last year when Lola first gave him the news, he thought there was absolutely no way he could handle being a father, no way he could take care of a baby, and no way in hell that he would _want_ to. Yet, here they were now. "Wait— are you wearing my sweater?"

Lola's cheeks turned pink. "I... may have borrowed it."

Miles took Hope into his arms. "Little big on you, don't you think?" he chuckled.

"It's a girlfriend thing," Lola insisted. She glanced over at the staircase as Frankie came downstairs, kind of stomping around in her wedges. "Franks, can you back me up here?" she batted her eyelashes, clinging onto Miles.

Frankie walked over and opened the fridge without making eye contact. "Can you two get a room?" she muttered, wrinkling her nose.

Miles groaned. "Geez, Frankie," he said. "Will you knock off the bad mood already? So what if Jonah has a kid?"

Lola looked at him. "Wait," she said. "How did _you_ know that? I didn't tell you."

"Um," Miles stammered. _Crap._ "He uh, may have mentioned it to me on that camping trip last year..." He quickly shifted his attention to Hope, who was coughing and reaching for his hair.

Frankie just laughed under her breath. "Wow," she said. "Good to know he trusted _everyone_ with his secrets more than me." She grabbed her bag off the hanger and walked towards the front door, not even looking at Miles.

"It was a _Dad_ thing!" Miles yelled after her as she slammed the door. He shook his head. "She's just—" he said to Lola, frustrated, "—I just... she's so _immature_ sometimes."

Lola raised her eyebrows. "Right... because _you_ were so much more mature in high school."

Miles frowned. "What?"

Lola smiled playfully. "Come on, Miles," she said. "Franks used to complain to me _all the time_ about the stunts you'd pull— the parties, the drugs..." She bit her tongue, adding, "getting girls pregnant..." She ruffled Hope's hair for a second. "Just give Frankie time to grow up. I'm sick of the Jonah crap too, but she'll get it together eventually."

Miles heard Frankie honk the horn from the driveway. "You suppose we'll have to deal with the same stuff with her?" he said, looking down at Hope. "She _is_ a Hollingsworth."

"No," Lola smiled. "Because she's going to stay a baby forever— isn't that right, princesa?" She gave Hope a kiss on her forehead and tickled her under her chin, making the baby giggle a little.

"Gahh maaa," Hope cooed.

Frankie honked the horn again. Lola groaned. " _Coming,_ Franks..." She gave Hope another kiss and made Miles promise to call her at lunch and then ran out the door, glancing back at the baby as she did so.

As usual, Hope immediately started to cry as soon as Lola left. "No, no," Miles whispered soothingly to the baby, rocking her back and forth. "I'm still here. Daddy's here."

" _Aaaaawahhh— aaaCHOo_!" Hope's cry turned into a giant sneeze, landing snot all over Miles' shirt.

"Still all stuffed up, huh?" Miles sighed to her, reaching for a towel. An idea dawned upon him. "Come on, Hope." He brought her into the bathroom, turned the shower on, and closed the door. He sat on the tile floor with her cradled in his lap, the room around them filling with warm steam.

"Aaahhhwaaa—" Hope slowly stopped crying. She sniffled loudly as her sinuses finally started to clear a bit.

"Feel any better?" Miles asked. He held a tissue to her nose. "This is what Grandma used to do for me when I was congested."

Hope leaned into Miles. "Ababa daa," she babbled. She sniffled again, then gave her dad a tiny smile.

Miles couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, you're welcome." He just sat there holding her for a second, just feeling how soft her skin was and how tiny her little fingers and toes were. He and Lola had counted them over and over again the day she was born— _twenty perfect little fingers and toes_ , he remembered Lola sighing happily. Even now at just eight months old, he already saw so much of Lola in Hope: the way her cheeks turned pink when she giggled, her curly hair and long lashes, that playful smile she got on her face before she did something naughty.

He got up and turned the shower off, Hope still clinging to his chest. "Daddy's got to finish a little homework," he said to her, yawning. "So what do you say we try and nap for a bit?" He walked upstairs to the nursery and put her down in her crib, then took a seat in the rocking chair with his laptop. Ordinarily he would just use the baby monitor, but with Hope being sick and all, he didn't like to leave her alone in the room. Lola felt the same way, having slept in the nursery with her every night this week.

He opened his laptop and pulled up his latest assignment for creative writing: _write a 5-10 page narrative about the most difficult thing you've ever gone through._

Miles felt his face turn pale as he thought. Sure, there were lots of hardships he'd been through the past few years— the bus crash, addiction, getting Hunter into therapy, finally finding the courage to come out as bisexual, becoming a father at just seventeen. But one main thing really stuck out to him: his father. Being slammed against a wall... having a coffee mug thrown at him... being screamed at and chastised nearly every day of his childhood...

Miles' relationship with his father was more complicated than ever these days. When Hope was born, Miles had vowed to never let his dad see her. Last year when Miles was forced to interact with him every now and again— whenever Hunter wanted their dad there for some event or he had to drop the twins off at his apartment— his father would ocassionally ask about how Lola's pregnancy was going. _You're going to all her doctor's appointments with her, right?_ he'd ask sternly. _I hope you're not leaving her to do everything herself, this is your responsibility too._ Miles found it weird, to say the least. His father didn't give two shits about the baby when he came to him asking for financial help earlier, what did it matter to him how he and Lola were handling things? Miles supposed it was just another way for his father to control him, to remind him that he'd screwed up in life _yet again_.

The thing that irritated Miles the most though, was that his father assumed he wasn't stepping up to his responsibilities. Of _course_ he was taking Lola to her doctor's appointments— he'd spent nearly every day by her side giving her foot rubs, running out to get the nachos and mini MM's she always craved, letting her cry into his shoulder when it all got to be too much. Sure, he hadn't exactly taken the news of the pregnancy well at first, but he'd be damned if he was going to let himself be a lousy father. He wasn't his dad, he tried to remind himself. But Miles had to admit that to this day, it still bothered him a little that the twins had once suggested that two of them were "pretty much exactly alike." Lots of boys would be proud to be compared to their fathers, but to Miles that was the worst thing in the world.

Something changed when his father had his heart attack, though. Miles couldn't quite explain it. Nearly dying hadn't redeemed his father or anything, not to Miles at least. But when he looked at him lying in that hospital bed, his body fragile and his voice weak, for the first time, he saw his dad as something new, something strange... _human_. Had he been a good father? No, of course not. Did Miles consider him to be a good person? Also no. But at the same time, he was at least making steps to change, to try and be somewhat of a father. Before Hope came along, it was easy for Miles to see parents as some whole other category of people. But now that he was a father himself, it was a bit easier to see his dad as something other than a monster. Even though Miles would never put Hope through anything remotely like the crap his dad had put him through, he would likely make all sorts of parenting mistakes himself as she grew up. Maybe it wasn't fair to keep Hope from his father entirely, he realized. Maybe he deserved to at least meet his granddaughter, even if Miles never let him have a close relationship with her.

He tried to think of how to begin. He hadn't written about his father all that much, not since that "Taking Off the Training Wheels" story, really. To be honest, he hadn't written much of anything since the play. He supposed having a new baby to care for was a pretty good excuse for that, but he still couldn't help but feel a little disappointed in himself for being in a creative slump. _When I think of the word "dad"_... Miles began to type.

"Waaahaaaaaa!"

Miles immediately set his laptop down and rushed over to the crib where Hope was squirming around, her face red and her little fists balled up as she cried. "What's the matter, Hope?" _Oh crap, it had been a couple of hours since he'd fed her._ "C'mere..." He lifted her out of her crib and settled into the rocking chair with her in his lap, a bottle in one hand and his laptop in the other.

Hope guzzled the formula down almost frantically. "Poor thing," Miles said, helping her hold the bottle up. "You must have been starving." He glanced back over at his laptop, trying to type as he fed her. For being a part of a generation known for multi-tasking, he sure wasn't a natural at it. He remembered poking fun at Lola once last year for balancing her math textbook against her belly, which earned him a ten-minute long earful about how it was his fault that she'd never be able to fit into her Snowball dress again.

" _Wehh_ ," Hope whined, pushing her bottle away when she was done.

 _Oh, duh_. He had to burp her still. He put his laptop down on the floor finally and patted her on the back softly until she let out a little belching noise. "There you go, Hope." It'd been so long since he'd been on full-time duty that he found himself spacing out on little things like that occasionally, like when to feed her, what kind of baby wipes to use, which bedtime story was her favorite nowadays.

Miles hoped he was doing an okay job as a parent. Sometimes he felt like he missed some big fatherly training seminar or something. To be honest, most of the time, he had no idea what he was doing. Before Hope was born, he'd spent months reading all sorts of parenting books, but when she was born, he felt like he'd suddenly been thrown into the deep end of the pool with no floaties.

 _When I think of the word "dad," I—_

Hope started tugging at Miles' shirt, climbing him like a monkey. "Baaa gooo," she babbled, still sniffling a little. Miles smiled at her, then shifted his eyes back to his essay.

"Aaababaa!" Hope squealed. She whacked the keyboard, causing a string of gibberish to fill the word document.

" _Hope_ ," Miles scolded her. He clutched his forehead, taking a deep breath. "Alright, you little troublemaker. Let's put you back in your crib."

But Hope didn't want to go in her crib. She clung to Miles and whimpered. "Okay, okay," he sighed. He never could resist those puppy dog eyes the baby gave him.

Miles sat down in the rocking chair with Hope, rubbing her back and cradling her back and forth. She was still coughing and sniffling, but she was smiling and giggling again at least. Miles sighed. She was already getting so big. He thought about the first time he held her, how surreal it felt to touch her tiny little fingers and look into her eyes. Even though he and Lola weren't together right then, he'd never felt closer to her. "You're not allowed to get any older, okay?" he said to the baby. He shook his head smiling. "I mean it, stop growing up."

Hope stretched her little arms and legs, yawning. She clung to Miles'chest, making those soft cooing noises he loved. Then, she did something Miles would never forget:

" _Dada."_


	128. Find My Way

Wow, thanks for all the reviews recently! Always nice to get feedback. I'm glad the Hope/Miles stuff has been well-received. And don't worry, not all the plots will be baby-centered.

 **Find My Way**

That day after school, Lola sat in the media room next to Yael while they edited. She realized she hadn't contributed much to the vlogging team lately, so she'd taken Yael's suggestion and made a video about her favorite subject: Hope. Being both media savvy and a total mom, Lola of course had an entire catalogue of photos and videos from the past year to use. All Yael had to do was put the material together in a video.

"Ugh, not _that_ one," Lola cried, reaching for the keyboard as she munched on a bag of Cheetos. "I look so bloated in that pic."

Yael took the keyboard back. "Lola, that's because you were pregnant."

Lola frowned. Had she really looked _that_ bad last year? There was just no such thing as flattering maternity clothes for girls with her petite frame. "I swear there's a better shot," she said, trying to reach for the keyboard again. She couldn't help but feel a little bit of deja vu, thinking back to last year when she edited with Hunter and awkwardly gave him that boner. It grossed her out even more now knowing that he was her future brother-in-law.

Yael pushed her hand away, afraid Lola would spill her snack all over the keyboard. "You're not helping, Lo." They sighed, then turned their chair around for a second. They knew Lola well enough by now to know when she was just restless and wanting attention. From what Yael had seen of Hope so far, the baby had seemed to have inherited that trait from Lola. "So, how's Hope doing? Any better?"

"Yeah, I think so," Lola said. "She looked a little less pale when I left this morning. It really sucks though, you know? I mean, it's not like she can exactly tell me what's wrong." She checked her texts from Miles again— no new updates since lunchtime. "Sometimes I just can't wait for her to start talking already. She's gonna sound _so cute_ saying "Mama.""

"Yeah, I bet," Yael smiled. They shifted their attention back to the computer and clicked on a picture of a newborn Hope.

"Gosh, look how _tiny_ she was there," Lola gushed. "I've been thinking, maybe I should start a parenting vlog. I've been listening to this really great podcast that—"

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Principal Simpson came in carrying a folder. "Ah, Lola!" he said. "Mind if I have a quick word?"

"Um, sure," Lola said quickly, a little nervous. What, was she in some kind of trouble? She hadn't broken any rules lately that she could think of, other than maybe (okay, definitely) using her cell phone during class.

"Go ahead," Yael told her, a little too obviously eager to have the computer to themself. "I'll finish the editing."

Simpson closed the media room door behind them and led Lola down the hallway into his office. "So," he said, sitting down at his desk, "midterm grades are in."

Lola gulped. She knew she should have studied more for Perino's exam. "Principal Simpson, I—"

"Lola," Simpson interrupted her before she could start chattering his ear off. To her surprise, he smiled. "You're doing _great_ in your classes."

Lola's eyes widened in surprise. This wasn't at all what she was used to hearing. "I _am_?"

Simpson nodded, looking through the folder. "You've got almost all B's," he said. "Well, one C in grade 12 math. But still. And you've got an A in media technology."

Lola couldn't help but break into a smile. After missing three weeks of the semester and coming so close to dropping out, she thought there was no way she would ever pass senior year. Maybe she wasn't so dumb after all, she thought to herself. "Really? That's... that's kinda awesome," she squealed.

Simpson smiled. "I knew if we just got you some extra help, you could do it."

"Yeah," Lola said. "Well, Miles has been helping out a lot with the baby lately. So has my dad."

Simpson nodded. "That's great." He reached for a stack of papers on the cabinet behind his desk. "Lola, I know your goal was just to be able to graduate with your class. But you should think about university." He slid a few brochures over to her: TU, Banting, Toronto Fashion Academy. "You have options, you know."

Lola's expression quickly changed. "Oh, I... I don't know about that," she frowned. "I mean, I'm _so_ busy taking care of Hope still. And my dad and I, we don't really have that kind of money." Even if she _could_ go to uni on top of the baby, she didn't want to stress her dad out financially. She definitely wasn't about to ask the Hollingsworths for more help— Diana had already done more than enough by letting her and Hope stay with them. And Miles had made it pretty clear that money was freaking him out by the way he reacted to her suggestion that they get a puppy. Plus, she didn't want to think about being away from Hope even more.

"Maybe, but there are scholarships and loans you can always apply for," Simpson said. He glanced at the brochures. "Just... think about it."

Lola smiled a little as she slipped the brochure for Toronto Fashion Academy in her bag. "Okay," she nodded. "Sure. Thanks, Principal Simpson."

Lola raced home as fast as she could that evening. She'd stopped by her dad's restaurant on her way home to pick up some more homemade remedies for Hope. She wasn't sure if any of these traditional medicines actually _worked_ , but she was willing to try anything to make Hope feel better. Plus, it gave her an excuse to see her dad and old co-workers (and say hi to Saad). She had to admit that sometimes she missed working at the Cantina— she'd practically spent her whole childhood there. Plus, she felt kind of bad leaving her dad to run the restaurant all by himself. If it had been up to her, she would have waited tables right up until Hope was born, but of course her overprotective father wouldn't hear of that.

"Miles!" Lola called as she walked into the Hollingsworth house. She walked up the staircase. " _Miles...?"_ she called again, a little worried.

She breathed a sigh of relief at what she saw: Miles snoring in the rocking chair, Hope curled up on top of him and making happy little baby noises in her sleep. Lola couldn't help but giggle. She pulled out her phone and snapped an oomchat of the two of them, captioning it _"dying of cuteness."_

Hope heard Lola's giggling and started to stir awake. She was such a light-sleeper, something that had driven Lola crazy from day one. " _Wehhh_ ," she squirmed.

Miles opened his eyes. "Lo?" he said groggily.

"Oops," Lola sighed. She hadn't meant to wake them up. "C'mere, sweetie," she cooed, scooping Hope into her arms. "How's my little girl? Feeling any better?" she asked the baby, smooching her forehead.

Miles yawned. "She's doing tons better, actually," he said. "I think her fever's gone." He sat up and stretched, suddenly grinning.

Lola noticed his goofy smile. "What are you smirking about?"

"Guess what happened today," Miles said, still beaming.

"Umm," Lola shrugged, cradling the squirmy baby. "You got her to eat sweet potato again?"

Miles just shook his head, still smiling goofily. "Nope."

"I have no idea, then," Lola said, breaking into laughter. She'd never seen Miles look so... _giddy_. At least, not while sober.

Miles got up from the rocking chair. "She said _her first word_."

Lola looked up from the baby. " _What_?" she cried. "Oh my god, are you serious? Did you... did you get it on camera? Oh my god, what did she say?"

Miles smiled at the baby. "She said " _Da_ _da_.""

Lola didn't say anything for a second, her giddy expression gone as she glanced back and forth between Miles and Hope. "Oh."

Miles frowned. He'd expected Lola to be more excited. She usually freaked out whenever the baby hit a new milestone— she posted monthly Hastygram updates when she was pregnant, captured Hope crawling for the first time on oomfchat, and made posts on three different social media sites when Hope got her first tooth. "What?"

Lola didn't look at him. "Nothing," she mumbled quickly. "That's... that's great."

" _Lo_."

Lola still didn't look at him. "I said it's great." She sighed. "Okay?"

Miles just stared at Lola for a second. "You're _jealous_ ," he realized. "Aren't you?" He couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"Of course not, Miles!" Lola said immediately.

Hope reached out towards Miles. " _Dada_ ," she cooed again.

"You hear that?" Miles said to Lola, taking Hope into his arms. "She just said it again!"

"I heard it," Lola mumbled.

" _Lola."_

"Okay— _fine_ ," Lola cried. Her cheeks turned red. "I'm jealous, okay?"

Miles shook his head. "Are you serious now?"

Lola stared down at the floor, looking like a little kid about to cry. She knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn't help it. "It's just... I mean... I carried her for nine months, I gave birth to her, I was the first one to hold her when she was born, I breast-fed her, I gave her her first spoonful of solid food and her first bath—" She stopped to catch her breath. "—but she likes you more!"

Miles just stared at her, dumbfounded. "What is this, a popularity contest?" He handed Hope back to Lola. "Lo, she doesn't like me _better_. She just said my name first is all."

"I knew I should have stayed with her while she was sick," Lola said, more to herself. She started pacing around the nursery, Hope tugging on her hair. "I should have spent more time with her this week, I should have—"

"Lola, _Jesus_." Miles put his hand on her shoulder. "Calm down."

Lola finally stopped pacing for a second. "I just... I feel really _bad_ , Miles." She sighed, pulling Hope closer and ruffling her hair as the baby nuzzled against her chest. "I've been so focused on school that I haven't made enough time for our baby."

"Says who?" Miles frowned. "Geez Lo, you're not neglecting Hope just because you're doing your homework."

Lola just sighed. "Yeah, but—"

"I'M HOME!" Mrs. Hollingsworth shouted from the staircase. She came into the nursery and took Hope into her arms. "What did I miss?"

Hope smiled at Miles. "Dada!"

" _Aaaaagh!_ " Lola cried. She walked out of the nursery, leaving the rest of the Hollingsworths to just stand there in confusion.

"Was that a _word_?" Mrs. H said, partly to Miles and partly to Hope. " _Dada_?"

"Yup," Miles said. He sighed, clutching his forehead.

Mrs. H couldn't help but smile a little— it was her first grandbaby's first word, after all. "What was that all about with Lola?"

Miles shook his head. "She's... _jealous_ ," he said. "I don't know. She's got this crazy idea that Hope likes me better or something. She thinks she hasn't been giving the baby enough attention since she's been back to school."

"She's not thinking of dropping out again, is she?" Mrs. H asked worriedly. She had to admit that Lola didn't just feel like a guest or even her son's girlfriend; she felt more like one of her own children lately. In hindsight, Mrs. H kind of regretted not being there for Lola much last year when she obviously could have used a mother figure.

Hope let out a tiny sneeze. Miles took her back into his arms and rubbed her back. "No, I— I don't think so," he said to his mother. He shook his head, adding, "I just don't see how can she be jealous of something like this."

Mrs. H sighed. "I'll go talk to her."

Lola was lying down across her mattress on her tummy, her eyes a bit teary and her nose buried in another bridal magazine. Her cheeks instantly turned red at the sight of Mrs. Hollingsworth, who she had been careful not to discuss wedding business around. "Oh, um, hi," she said, quickly tossing the magazine aside.

Mrs. H took a seat on Frankie's bed. "Got a second?"

"Mhm," Lola shrugged, forcing a smile.

Mrs. H took a deep breath. "Do you know what Miles' first word was?"

Lola shook her head.

"It was " _no.""_ Mrs. H couldn't help but laugh.

Lola smiled a tiny bit. "Really?" She wiped her eyes. "That seems... fitting," she giggled.

"Mm, doesn't it, though?" Mrs. H said. "But you know what else? He also said "Dada" before "Mama.""

Lola sat up straight. "He... he did?"

Mrs. H nodded. "I have to admit, it annoyed me," she said. "It didn't seem fair that my name came second. I was quite upset about it at first, actually... of course, I was also pregnant with the twins at the time..."

Lola sighed. "So, it... it doesn't mean anything if Hope said Miles' name first?"

"It doesn't mean you're a bad mother, Lola," Mrs. H said firmly. "Trust me," she sighed, "you're making far less mistakes than I did in the first year. And you've always put Hope first. I can tell how much you love her. So can the baby."

Lola nodded, taking that in. It was kind of crazy to think how far her and Diana's relationship had come since that disastrous dinner party last year. "Thanks, Mrs. Hollingsworth," she said quietly. "I... I really appreciate everything you've done for me and Hope. I really do."

"Well," Mrs. H said. She glanced at the bridal magazine on the floor. "You _are_ part of the family now." She smiled for a second, then excused herself to go make dinner.

Miles came in a couple of minutes later carrying Hope. "Hey."

"Hey," Lola said, taking Hope into her lap. "Look, I'm sorry for overreacting earlier. I just... kinda freaked."

"It's alright," Miles shrugged. He sighed, glancing at the baby as she tugged on Lola's shirt. "I guess it's an adjustment for all of us, you know? You and I both being back in school."

"Yeah," Lola nodded. She ruffled Hope's hair for a second, planting a kiss on the top of the baby's head. "Gosh, I wonder why more people don't have kids in high school," Lola giggled sarcastically.

Miles shook his head, grinning a little. "Well, I'm glad we're in this together, at least." He put his arm around Lola, smiling down at Hope.

Lola leaned into him, finally relaxing a little. "So um, I think your mom might be coming around about the whole engagement thing."

"Really?" Miles said. "How do you know?"

"Well," Lola said, "today she said I was part of the family. Like... for real."

Miles smiled. "Of course you are, Lo."

"Yeah, but it just felt good to hear her say it," Lola shrugged. "You know? I mean, I don't exactly have the most stable family of my own." She went quiet all of a sudden.

"What is it?"

Lola stared at the baby for a second. She thought about how important Hope was to her, how much she cared about being a good mother to her, how much she wanted them to always have a good relationship no matter what. "Miles," she gulped. "I think I wanna see my mom."


	129. Same Old Love, Part 1

**Same Old Love, Part 1**

That Saturday afternoon, Miles and Lola walked to the park with Hope. The baby's cold had finally gone away and she was back to her cheerful little self, much to Lola and Miles' relief. Spring was among them at last— the flowers were blossoming, the trees were turning green again, and the sun was peaking through the clouds. Lola was pushing Hope in her stroller as Miles walked behind her carrying the diaper bag. "Look at the pretty butterfly, Hopey," Lola cooed to her. "Listen... you can hear the birdies chirping... the bees buzzing..."

"She's a little young to learn about the birds and the bees, don't you think?" Miles chuckled.

Lola rolled her eyes at his joke. "You sure you don't mind spending the afternoon with her?" she asked, taking the baby out of her stroller and into her arms as they reached the playground. "I thought about bringing her with me, but I don't want her to get too fussy..."

"Of course not," Miles said, smiling at Hope. "I never mind spending time with our kid, Lo."

Lola buckled Hope into one of the baby swings and pushed her gently, barely even moving her. "Eeee baba," Hope babbled, sucking her thumb.

"C'mon, you can let her go higher than that," Miles said. He pulled the swing further back and pushed it hard.

"Dada!" Hope squealed, smiling and giggling as she swung high in the air.

Lola frowned. Why did _Miles_ get to be the fun parent? "You know what, I think I'm gonna bring Hope with me after all."

"You wanna bring her to lunch with your mom?" Miles raised his eyebrow. "Uh, you sure about that?"

"Yeah," Lola said, trying to sound confident. "It'll be... _fun_."

"Never heard you use your mom and fun in the same sentence, Lo."

"I don't know," Lola said. "I just feel like I haven't spent enough time with our baby lately. And seeing Hope meet your dad and all... I don't know, it kinda made me feel a little bad keeping her totally away from my mom." Lola still wasn't exactly sure what she was hoping to accomplish with this whole mother-daughter outing. She didn't exactly expect them to become the Gilmore Girls or anything, but her dad had asked her to at least try and give her mom a chance. And honestly, she was sick of feeling like she had to hide from her mother.

"Well, okay," Miles shrugged. "Whatever you wanna do." He grinned at Hope. "One more push, though?"

Together, Miles and Lola pulled the baby swing back as far as they could. Hope shrieked with giggles. Lola leaned into Miles and sighed with relief— no matter how things turned out with her mom, at least she had him and Hope at the end of the day.

Meanwhile back at the Hollingsworth house, Hunter laid sprawled out on the couch in the pool house watching _Doctor Who_ and scrolling through his phone for the millionth time. Esme had been blowing him off lately and acting weird— she didn't take his calls half the time, but still insisted over text that everything was fine. It was driving him nuts, honestly.

Frankie walked into the pool house carrying a bag of Fritos and stomping around in her wedges. "Scoot over," she said to her brother, plopping down on the end of the couch. She grabbed the remote and started flipping through the channels, not caring that Hunter was already watching something.

"We have another TV, you know," Hunter mumbled.

"Yeah, but Mom's boyfriend is coming over," Frankie said, munching on a handful of Fritos. "So I'm avoiding the house as long as I can."

Hunter rolled his eyes. He wasn't exactly dying to meet some hipster yoga guy their mom was hooking up with, but Frankie was acting like it was the damn apocalypse or something. "Dammit," he muttered, mostly to himself. "Esme _still_ hasn't called me back..."

"Wait, you two are still dating?" Frankie asked. "She hasn't been here in so long that I figured you guys just broke up."

"Well, we didn't," Hunter snapped.

Miles came in just then. "Do either of you guys know why there's some weird, bearded guy sitting in our living room?"

"Mom's new _boy toy_ ," Frankie muttered, taking another handful of Fritos.

Miles just shook his head. "So, what are we watching?" he said, joining them on the couch and stealing some Fritos from Frankie. "I'm off dad duty this morning."

Hunter groaned and got off the couch. So much for having the pool house to himself. "I'm gonna go to Esme's."

"Oh, you guys are still dating?" Miles said.

Hunter didn't even bother to respond to that. " _Don't forget condoms,"_ he heard Miles yell on his way out. Sheesh, that joke was getting old.

When Lola first rang the doorbell at her parents', it felt as though she were approaching a stranger's door. She hadn't been to the house in months, not since she moved out last fall. The front had changed— the grass was looking dead and unkempt, paint was chipping off the sides of the house, and there were several old newspapers lying on the front porch. Lola was surprised to see it like this; her father usually kept such a tidy appearance. Maybe her absence had hit them harder than she'd thought.

Hope perked up at the sound of the doorbell chiming. "Gahh," she smiled, leaning into Lola. She couldn't help but giggle at Hope's excitement at such a small thing. Even at eight months, the world was still so brand new and exciting to her.

It was her father who answered the door. "Ah! Come in, Mija," he said. "And mi chiquita," he added, smiling at the baby. "Miles isn't watching her this morning?"

"No," Lola shrugged. "He offered, but I... I thought it might be nice to bring her along." Her attention quickly shifted to the little dog jumping excitedly on her. "Oh my god, _Fernando!"_ She nearly teared up. "I missed you _so_ much!"

Mr. Pacini smiled. "He's missed you too."

"Remember Hope?" Lola said to Fernando as the baby reached out towards him. "She's gotten a little bigger since you last saw her..."

Lola remembered the afternoon she first brought Hope home, how curious Fernando had been about the little bundle in her arms. _Look what I brought home from the hospital_ , she'd said to the dog, careful to keep her brand new baby far out of his reach. But Fernando had always been nothing but protective of Hope: he napped by her bassinet like he was watching over her and he never got mad when the baby tugged at his ears or tried to pet him.

"Oh good, you're here." Mrs. Pacini walked into the living room wearing heels that made her look several inches taller than she actually was and a sun hat that Lola wouldn't have been caught dead in. She eyed Lola's outfit, looking at it disapprovingly. "Is that what you're—" she started to say, but stopped herself. "Well. I'm glad you're here."

Lola took a deep breath, preparing herself for what was likely to be a very long afternoon. "Yeah," she said, trying to smile. "I um, I thought maybe we could go to Little Miss Steak's for lunch? They've got these really good nachos. And they have high-chairs and maybe some applesauce for Hope."

Mrs. Pacini just shrugged. "Whatever you feel like, I suppose."

"Okay," Lola said, still feeling a bit weird about this whole thing. "Sounds good."

"Have a good time," Mr. Pacini said. He planted a kiss on Hope's cheek, making her giggle a little.

When Hunter pulled up to Esme's house, half of him wanted to just go home and forget about it. Maybe this was a dumb idea to come over when she wasn't even taking his calls. He felt like a borderline stalker just showing up like this. But still. He needed to see her.

He rang the doorbell, but got no answer. He sighed and rang it again. _C'mon, c'mon_. A part of him wanted to call Esme and just really stick it to her. Tell her that she couldn't just blow him off like this and treat him like he was nothing. It scared him a little, how angry he was getting.

But then, the door opened. "Hunter! Jesus Christ." Esme glanced back and then shut the door behind her. "Look, can we talk later? It's not a good time."

"You haven't returned any of my calls."

"You think I don't know that? Hunter, come on. I said we'll talk later. You should just go."

"Fine," Hunter snapped, trying to keep himself from losing his temper. He started to walk away, but then found himself turning around. "You have some other guy up in your room? _Is that it?"_

Esme just stared at him for a second. "Are you kidding me?" she said. "Just because I don't want to talk to you, that means I'm slutting it up with some guy?"

"Well, what am I supposed to think?"

Esme paused, not looking at him. "Fine," she said. "I'll tell you what's really going on. Get in the car."


	130. Same Old Love, Part 2

Lola's mom is really difficult to write (and so is Hunter/Esme, honestly), so I'd really appreciate some feedback on this chapter... I'll be adding in some more Frankie/Esme stuff again soon as well as Saad and Jonah, haven't forgotten about them. On a side note, I'll probably switch to a sequel in a couple of months that I'm planning on having take place 2 years in the future.

 **Same Old Love, Part 2**

This wasn't at all how Lola pictured a reunion with her mother would be. Up until she was maybe 13 or so, before the resentment and anger really kicked in and overrode any major feelings of nostalgia, she'd secretly hoped her mom would return. Lola had fantasized that maybe her mother would have a ridiculously good explanation— like that she'd been kidnapped or working undercover as a top secret spy all these years— and come bearing presents and motherly love and promise to never leave again. That maybe her mom would feel like her _mom_ again. But here they were today, Lola sitting across the table from her mother at Little Miss Steaks with a baby of her own cradled in her lap and having absolutely no idea of what to say.

Mrs. Pacini looked up from her menu, glancing at Hope. "You're not going to put her in a high chair?"

"I will when our food gets here," Lola said as Hope squirmed and tugged on her shirt. "I just like to keep her close when I can. I read that physical touch is really important, you know, for building that bond during the first year."

"Right," Mrs. Pacini muttered. "Um. How old is...?"

"Little over eight months," Lola said. She planted a kiss on the top of Hope's forehead. "It's crazy, really. Feels like I just had her yesterday."

"Mm."

They just sat there in silence for a second, the only noise being Hope's occasional babbling. She couldn't tell who was feeling more awkward, her mother or herself.

"Um, how's school going?" Mrs. Pacini tried.

"Fine," Lola shrugged. "I'm actually, uh, doing pretty well in my classes. Almost all B's..."

"That's nice."

"Yeah."

Lola sighed, feeling like she was stuck on a bad date she couldn't excuse herself from. She didn't know what she'd expected with her mother really... but somehow, the awkward silence felt even worse than the two of them fighting.

 **...Hunter** sat in the car sipping on his soda tensely and staring at Esme, waiting for her to say something. They'd driven to the mall parking lot, their old makeout spot, at her request because it was "far enough away." And then Esme had claimed she was starving and hadn't eaten all day, so she ran into the gas station to buy food, but then returned with nothing but a power bar and two Cokes. She still had yet to actually _explain_ anything to Hunter, just sitting there sipping on her drink as if nothing was wrong.

"So..." Hunter started, still as perplexed as ever.

Esme still didn't look at him. She fished into her purse and pulled out a small vial of pills, the kind that looked all too familiar to Hunter. He couldn't help but freak out a little. "Esme, are those—"

Esme swallowed one of the pills, washing it down with soda. " _Relax_ , Boy Scout. It's just my regular perscription."

Hunter just sighed, clutching his forehead. "Okay, so are you ever going to tell me what's been going on with you lately? Or did I just drive ten miles up the road for nothing?"

Esme stared long and hard out the window. "Do you know what day it is?" she said, her voice so quiet it was almost a whisper.

"Um. Saturday?"

Esme took a deep breath. "It's the day before the anniversary of my mom's death. It's been eight years."

"Oh..." Hunter said. He awkwardly tried to put his arm around her, but she shrugged him off, too tense.

"So... Dad goes kinda beserk every year around this time. Starts drinking a lot and yelling all the time..." Esme sighed. "And on the anniversary of her death, he's... well, let's just say it's best I avoid him altogether that day. Unless I want to stick around and hear more about how it's my fault my mom's dead." She leaned against the window, scooting further away from Hunter. "Like I don't know that already."

"Esme, it's not—"

"Spare me the pity, Hollingsworth. I know the spiel. But yeah. It kind of is." She took another deep breath. "Anyway, I just, I can't deal with anyone this week, really. The only reason I stay there is because of my little siblings. I don't trust them around our alcoholic of a dad, especially not this time of the year. He has a tendency to get a bit..." She sighed. "Well. Let's just say crazy runs in the family."

 **... Lola** sat at the restaurant desperately hoping their food would get here soon. She and her mother had been sitting in almost complete silence for what seemed like ages. They'd exhausted small talk by now and every possible conversation topic felt uncomfortable, forced. It felt like they were merely two strangers sitting across from each other rather than a mother and daughter pair out to lunch.

The waitress finally came by with their orders. "Nachos supreme," she said, sliding the plate in front of Lola. "And a black bean burger," she added to Mrs. Pacini. "Anything else I can get you?"

"Um, can we get a high-chair?" Lola asked, glancing down at Hope.

"Of course," the waitress said. She smiled at Hope. "What an adorable little sister you have."

Lola giggled a little under her breath. "Oh," she said, cheeks turning pink as she lifted Hope into the high-chair, "not my sister. She's my daughter."

The waitress's expression quickly changed. "Oh. Um. Excuse me," she muttered, hurriedly running off to go take other orders.

Lola looked up from her nachos to notice her mother staring her down. "What?"

Mrs. Pacini groaned. "What'd you go and do that for?"

Lola frowned. "I'm not gonna lie about Hope, okay? I'm not gonna treat her like something to be ashamed of."

"I didn't say that," Mrs. Pacini muttered, poking at her salad. "But still. You don't need to advertise that you're a teenage mother, Mija."

"I don't care, okay? I'm used to the judgment."

"Well, _I'm_ not." Mrs. Pacini frowned, adding quietly, "I can't believe your father didn't tell me you were pregnant when we talked last year..."

Lola put her fork down. "You... you talked to Dad last year?"

"I called him in April. To touch base and all. Funny he didn't think it was worth mentioning that you had a _baby_ on the way..."

Lola took a long, deep breath. "Dad and I were barely speaking back then. And anyway, I didn't even know about those phone calls until recently." She glanced over at Hope, who was squirming around in her high-chair. "Why didn't you ever just call _me_?"

Mrs. Pacini just shook her head. "Your father wouldn't hear of that." She paused. "Lola. You _do_ know why I left, don't you?"

"Yeah," Lola mumbled, not looking at her. "I know all about the boyfriend in California, thanks."

"It wasn't just that." Mrs. Pacini looked her daughter right in the eye, taking a deep breath. "Your father... he told me not to come home."

 **... Hunter** just stared at Esme for a second, a little overwhelmed by everything she'd just shared. It wasn't like all of this was brand new information— he knew all about her mom, and it didn't take a genius to guess that she and her father didn't exactly have the warmest relationship. But still, he didn't know things were this bad. He felt a vague sense of deja vu, back when he finally saw the way their dad really treated Miles. "Esme," he said, his voice a bit shaky. "Is your dad... is he... is he hurting you?"

Esme leaned back in her seat. "It's not me I'm worried about." She let out a deep breath. "It's my little brothers and sisters. My step-mom isn't home much. Their marriage sucks anyway. And my dad could care less about all of us."

"You didn't answer my question."

Esme sighed. "Can we just drive around for a bit? I don't wanna talk anymore." She reached for Hunter's hand, quietly adding, "Please?"

"Okay. If that's what you want."

They drove around for about twenty minutes, not going anywhere in particular. Esme was still holding onto Hunter's hand, something she rarely did. It felt kind of nice, but it also scared him a little, seeing her be vulnerable with him like this.

Esme reached for the AUX cord. "God, what is with you Hollingsworths' taste in music?" she tsked. "You won't play anything but screamo. Frankie's taste is limited to 2010 Miley Cyrus..."

Hunter glanced at her as she fiddled with the music. Wait... her wrist... was _that_... "Esme."

"Hmm?"

Hunter peeled his eyes away from the road for a second, finally noticing the bright purple mark on her skin that she'd been covering up with her cardigan sleeve. He gulped. "Did your dad do that to you?"

Esme turned away from him again. "I told you. I don't wanna talk about it."

Hunter reached for her hand back, barely holding onto the wheel as he changed lanes. "Esme, come on, we need to—"

"HUNTER! WATCH OUT—"


	131. The Worst Day Since Yesterday

Apologies for taking so long to update; I just started my summer job and classes and have been really busy. I'm still definitely committed to this story though, so please keep sharing your thoughts and ideas!

 **The Worst Day Since Yesterday, Part 1**

Lola felt like she couldn't breathe all of a sudden. She dropped her silverware, her mother's words playing in a haunting loop in her head. She couldn't have heard that right, it couldn't _possibly_ be true. "Wh-what?" she finally stammered. "What do you mean, Dad told you not to come home?"

Mrs. Pacini took a deep breath. "We had been having problems for quite some time," she said quietly, her voice tense. "You remember that, don't you? The fights we had?"

"Yeah," Lola mumbled, still feeling shaky. "You guys tried to hide it from me, but I always knew when you'd been arguing. You'd sleep on the couch or Dad would stay late at the Cantina and skip dinner..." Hope started to fuss. Lola took her out of her high-chair and back into her lap, hugging her tightly.

"Right. Uh, well, like I said, we'd had issues for... awhile. Money was tight, you know, and we were so overwhelmed." She sighed, not looking at Lola. "I'm not proud of it, but I... I found myself falling for someone else. I never meant for it to go as far as it did. Believe me, I _didn't._ I tried to end it, but..." She strummed her fingers across the table, fidgeting uncomfortably. "When your father found out, he... well, he pretty much lost it, Mija. It crushed him, the thought of me with another man. And so he... he told me not to come home that night. That he couldn't stand to look at me, after what I'd done."

Lola sat up straight, letting this all sink in. This was too much to process all at once. "So you just _left_? Just like that?"

"Not exactly, Mija," Mrs. Pacini said quietly. "I... I tried to work things out with your father. I did. But he said he could never look at me the same, that he couldn't forgive me. That I was a terrible mother for putting you through that. And I thought... I thought maybe you would be better off without me. Both of you."

Hope squirmed in Lola's arms, whimpering a little. "Aaaaaa," she babbled, her little eyes darting back and forth between the two Pacini women. For a baby, she could sure pick up on tension quickly.

Lola shifted Hope to her shoulder and rubbed her back to try and comfort her. "I... this is... I don't know what to say." She still couldn't look her mother in the eye. "I mean... you still _left_ me. Do you know how bad that messed me up? Just having you take off like that?" She looked over at Hope, totally unable to picture just abandoning her baby like that. She supposed her mother was part of the reason why she'd decided to keep the baby, looking back on it.

"I know it did," Mrs. Pacini frowned, nodding towards the baby as if to say _duh_. "I'm sorry. I wish I could change that Mija, I really do." She sighed, staring long and hard at her daughter and granddaughter. "I thought maybe your father was better suited for parenting than I was. But, obviously you haven't exactly turned out the way I'd expected..."

Lola felt more than a little offended by that. "Hey, I'm _happy_ I had Hope, okay?" she said defensively, pulling the baby closer. She sighed deeply. "God, I don't know what to say to you _or_ Dad now—"

Just then, her cell phone rang. Hmm. Frankie. "Franks. What's up?" Lola answered, ignoring the look she was getting from her mother. She paused, caught off guard by how fast Frankie was speaking. "Wait, what? _Oh my god..._ "

 **... Miles** was just sitting down for lunch when the phone rang. He'd met his mother's new boyfriend very briefly- muscular-looking guy with a beard and ridiculous hipster glasses. Not exactly what he thought his mom's type was, but Raymond seemed nice enough at least. After a couple of minutes of awkward small talk, he and Mrs. H excused themselves to go "run an errand," which Miles supposed was probably code for going back to his place. Gross.

Frankie came back into the main house the second they left. "Thank god," she muttered to Miles. "What's for lunch? I'm _starving_!"

Miles glanced up from his sandwich. "Help yourself, starving."

Frankie rolled her eyes. "You know, _just because_ you're a dad now _doesn't_ mean you have to make dad jokes all the time."

 _Ring! Ring! Riiiiiing!_

Miles jumped up from his seat. "Yeah," he answered. "No, Diana's not here right now. Can I ask who's-" His face went pale all of a sudden.

Frankie glanced up, suddenly worried. "Miles?" she said, watching his expression. It looked a little too... _familiar_. "Miles, what is it?"

Miles ignored her. "Uh-huh," he said into the phone. His hands were trembling. "That's... _shit_. Okay. Okay, we'll be there as soon as we can. _200 Elizabeth St,_ right? Okay... thank you." He hung up the phone and sank into his chair, hand over his mouth as he stared straight ahead of him, not saying anything.

" _Miles_!" Frankie cried. She hadn't seen that look on his face since... well, not since the bus crash. "Miles, what's going on?"

Miles took a deep breath, as if still trying to process everything. "It's Hunter," he said, his voice barely audible. "He was in a car accident. The hospital didn't give me many details, but-" He finally looked up at his sister. "It sounds bad, Frankenstein."

... **Lola** met the Hollingsworths at the hospital as soon as she got the news. She'd grumpily agreed to let her mother drive her and Hope there, since it was probably faster than Ubering. They didn't say a word the whole way there. Mrs. Pacini offered to have her and Mr. Pacini watch Hope for the rest of the afternoon, but Lola just laughed at the idea. She wasn't sure she wanted to speak to _either_ of her parents anytime soon.

Miles was outside the hospital waiting to greet Lola and Hope. Hmm. Same hospital Tristan stayed at. Same hospital Hope was born at. Lola hugged him right away. "I'm so sorry, baby," she murmured, leaning into his chest.

Miles took Hope into his arms. "I should be in there right now," he said, his face still pale. "But I just... I needed a breather. Seeing him unconscious in that hospital bed like that, it's..." He sighed, glancing at the hospital sign. "Is it me, or have we been here way too many times the past couple of years?" He put his arm around Lola and led them inside.

Lola's stomach dropped when she saw Hunter. He was lying perfectly still in the hospital bed, his eyes shut, and his face swollen and hooked up to a breathing tube. "What _happened_?" Lola cried, rushing over to Frankie, who was crying.

Miles tried not to look. "He turned into another car while he was driving with Esme, apparently."

Lola glanced around the room. "Wait... then where's Esme?"

"Surgery," Frankie piped up. "The nurse said she was conscious, though..." She glanced at Miles, adding, "Mom's on her way. She called Dad, too."

Once again, Lola felt like she couldn't quite breathe. She leaned into the two Hollingsworth siblings as they stood over Hunter's bed, too scared to speak. Hope started to cry, her voice the only sound in that silent, silent room.


	132. The Worst Day Since Yesterday, Part 2

Sorry if the last chapter was a bit rushed— was just trying to post something quickly, but I don't feel like it was my best work. Hopefully this one is an improvement. I have a LOT of ideas and characters I'm going to bring in for this plot...

 **The Worst Day Since Yesterday, Part 2**

As Diana rushed to the hospital to see Hunter, she could barely think straight. Maybe she hadn't been around enough lately for the kids, she thought to herself. She shouldn't have left them alone afternoon, she shouldn't have prioritized her new relationship over her own children for god's sakes. When Hunter had asked if he could go to Esme's, she'd just handed him the car keys and waved him off quickly. And now he was in the hospital unconscious, god knows when... or if... he would wake up.

Even though she knew her ex-husband hadn't been a good father, she kind of missed having him around sometimes, another parent to help out. She'd never imagined herself being a single mother to three— well, basically _four—_ kids and a grandbaby. Mrs. H felt so alone sometimes that she turned to her oldest son for help a little too often, sometimes forgetting that he was still a teenager himself.

"Raymond, can you go a bit faster?" she said to her boyfriend tensely, texting Miles again for updates.

"Sorry, babe— going as fast as I can." He slammed on the gas pedal a little harder, still not calming her nerves enough.

 _This is all my fault._

"Um, do you want me to come in with you?" Raymond asked awkwardly as they pulled up to the hospital.

Mrs. H took a deep breath, trying to collect herself. "That's alright," she muttered hurriedly. Now didn't exactly seem like a good idea to introduce him to the whole family. "Thank you..." she added, giving him a rushed peck on the cheek as she hopped out of the car. She sprinted towards the entrance as fast as she could, Raymond barely even an afterthought.

Miles was already at the front waiting for her, Hope in his arms. "Where is he?" Mrs. H said right away. "Is he... is he still unconscious?"

Miles looked beyond exhausted. "Yeah," he said quietly, leading his mother inside. A nurse waved them in. "I should warn you, it looks bad. His face is pretty messed up and he's probably broken several bones."

"Graaa," Hope cooed at Mrs. H, the closest she could get to the word "grandma." Even the baby looked upset, aware that something was wrong.

Mrs. H ran into the room, totally unprepared for the sight she saw: her baby lying perfectly still in the bed, his eyes swollen shut and his face bruised and bloody.

 _"Oh god..."_

... **A couple** of hours went by. Mrs. H alternated between speaking to doctors and calling the kids' father with updates. The doctors said that Hunter had a broken right leg, some minor damage to his spinal cord, and had sustained some whiplash to his neck. As far as when he would wake up, nobody really could say— his heart rate was still steady, but the doctors said it could be days before he woke up.

Miles and Lola sat in the waiting room quietly playing with the baby and trying to keep themselves distracted. Miles wasn't holding up very well, Lola could tell. He was shaky and quiet and biting his fingers a lot. Obviously he was worried sick about his brother, but it also had to be triggering as hell, Lola realized, seeing Hunter this way after spending all those months by Tristan's bedside.

Hope seemed to be the only thing keeping Miles calm. He read children's books from the pediatric wing to her, keeping her cradled in his lap. " _One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish_ ," he read to her quietly.

Lola looked up from her _Cosmo_ worriedly. "Um, hey, babe?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think maybe you should be in there helping your mom? I mean, she's been talking to the doctors all evening..." Lola shrugged.

Miles sighed deeply. "Probably, yeah," he admitted. "It's just..." He looked down at the floor, biting his nails again. "Lola, what if he never wakes up?"

Lola squeezed his shoulder gently. She took Hope into her arms. "The doctors said a few days at the most, remember?" She sighed. "It's not like... this isn't going to be the bus crash all over again, baby. Promise." In reality, she wasn't entirely sure that was true, but the last thing she wanted was for Miles to freak out and have a panic attack. Or worse, relapse.

Miles just sat there for a moment, not saying anything. "It had to be Esme," he muttered. "She had to be the reason he crashed. She's never been good for him..."

"Baby..."

Miles leaned into her and took a deep breath. "Guess you're right, I should go back in there." He paused. "Come with me?"

"Of course," Lola nodded. No matter the crisis, at least they always handled things together. After all, that was how this whole thing between them had even started, Lola thought as she held onto Hope tightly.

... **Frankie** sat in the hospital room, her face buried in her cell phone texting Shay updates and mindlessly checking Hastygram. Though she hadn't wanted to look at him in this state, she hadn't left Hunter's bedside all afternoon. She couldn't explain it exactly, but it was times like these where their twin connection really kicked in. Even though they had grown apart significantly the past several years and bickered constantly, Frankie really couldn't imagine life without her other half. It wasn't like they were best friends or anything, but Hunter had literally been there with her from day one. They'd shared the womb, a crib, a bedroom, birthday parties, classes, friends— they'd always been tethered to each other no matter what. The idea that her twin could just suddenly be taken away from her in the blink of an eye... well frankly, it scared the fuck out of her.

She remembered the afternoon he got out of the psychiatric hospital a couple of years ago:

 _Frankie watched from the front porch steps as their mom pulled into the driveway with Hunter in the front seat. His hair was longer and messier and he was a little thinner and smelled a little bad, but he looked_ okay _again. More like the old Hunter she remembered._

 _"You're back," she said, sounding more excited than she'd expected._

 _"Yeah," Hunter said. "You didn't sell my video games, while I was gone right? Cause if you did..." He shook his head and grinned._

 _Frankie hugged him suddenly, something she couldn't remember doing in a long time. "Um, I'm proud of you," she admitted. "I know we don't really talk like this, but... I am."_

A nurse approached Frankie just then, pulling her out of her trance. "Francesca?" she said, holding a clipboard. "Your sister's awake. Esme?"

"She's not my—" Frankie started. She stopped herself suddenly. "Okay," she said quietly to the nurse. "Can I see her?"

... **Miles** walked into the hospital room with Lola a minute after Frankie left. He flinched a little as he looked at his brother, trying to keep himself calm. He wasn't going to be like the old Miles, he told himself. He couldn't afford to lose his shit, he had to stay level-headed. Not just for his mother and sister, but for Hope too. He went to speak to one of the nurses, who was waiting outside in the hallway.

"Any updates?" Lola asked Mrs. H, who was sitting anxiously in a chair in the corner.

"Nothing yet," Mrs. H sighed.

Lola nodded awkwardly. She wondered if she should excuse herself and go back to the house, give the Hollingsworths some time with just each other. But she didn't want to leave Miles' side; he looked so anxious.

Mrs. H glanced at Hope, who was nestled in Lola's arms, quietly sucking her thumb. "The baby doing okay?" she asked, clearly trying to distract herself. "She's not too tired or hungry or anything?"

"She's pretty mellow," Lola shrugged, taking a seat next to her. She stroked the baby's hair, adding, "I'm pretty lucky. She's a good baby. I mean, she can _definitely_ be a handful, but she's just so cute." She planted a kiss on Hope's forehead.

Mrs. H nodded, eyes fixated on the baby. "Strange to think this is the same hospital she was born at."

"Yeah," Lola said, rocking the baby back and forth. "It's funny... I was _so_ nervous to hold her when they first handed her to me. Like she was a piece of art and I was going to break her or something."

Mrs. H laughed a tiny bit. "So was I, actually. She was just so tiny." She sighed. "Lola. I know I wasn't exactly... _supportive_ of you and Miles at the beginning—"

"Oh no, don't worry about that," Lola interrupted. It was ancient history as far as she was concerned. Besides, shouldn't they be focused on Hunter right now?

But Mrs. H continued. "No, I... I want to apologize. But also..." She finally looked back up at Hunter, a pained expression on her face. "This right here— this is the side of parenthood that's tough. Seeing your kids get hurt, things slipping out of your control... I— I didn't want Miles to have to experience that yet. You two were just so young to be dealing with this type of responsibilitity." She glanced over at the baby. "But you're doing a good job. Both of you. I know parenthood's not easy."

Lola smiled a tiny bit. "Thanks," she said quietly. She felt like crying all of a sudden from how crazy the day had been.

Hope on the other hand, actually _did_ start to cry. " _Wehhhhh_ ," she screamed. Lola glanced at her cell and realized it was time to feed her again. "Um, do you mind if I—?" Lola asked Diana awkwardly, draping a blanket over herself to nurse the baby.

A minute later, the nurse walked in, Miles trailing behind her. "Miss?" she said to Lola. "You can't have the baby in here."

Miles frowned. "What? Why?"

"Hospital policy."

"It's okay," Lola sighed, still awkwardly nursing the baby. "Um, I'll just uber home or something."

Miles looked down at the floor. "Can't you just stay?" He sighed, his eyes heavy and tired. "Please, Lo?"

"Sorry, miss," the nurse added again. "But the baby still can't be in here."

Lola glanced back and forth between Hope and Miles. She hated leaving her baby more than anything, but she also knew Miles really needed her right now. "Well, I know Camila's still on vacation, but let me see if Shay can watch Hope," she said, dialing her number. She was good with the baby. Besides, she wouldn't mind, right?

 **... Frankie** followed a nurse down the hall into Esme's room. "Go ahead in," the nurse said to her.

Still not entirely sure why she was doing this, Frankie opened the door. "Esme?" she said quietly, closing the door behind her. "Uh, you awake?"

"Yeah," Esme mumbled, still a bit groggy. She was lying down in a bed, a sling around her shoulder and gauze wrapped around her wrists.

"How are you holding up?"

"Dislocated shoulder and banged up wrists. Could be worse."

Frankie nodded, not really sure what to say. The two of them weren't friends anymore, not really. And a part of her thought maybe the accident was Esme's doing, though she didn't say so. "So, um, why did you say I was your sister?"

"Cause it's the only way they'll let you in here. Family only. Trust me, I know the drill..." She clutched her shoulder, looking like she was in a lot of pain. "Look, I just wanted to ask about Hunter. The nurses won't tell me anything. How is he? Is he okay?"

Frankie almost wanted to laugh. "Is he _okay_?" she said. "Well. Let's see— he has a broken leg, spinal and neck damage... and he's in a _coma_. Does that sound "okay" to you?"

To Frankie's surprise, Esme burst into tears. It caught her off guard— she hadn't seen Esme cry since her meltdown over Zig last year. "Oh my god," Esme said through her tears. "I have to see him." She tried to get up suddenly, even though she could barely move in her sling.

"Esme, you can't— the nurses—"

"I _need_ to see him!"

"Esme, come on." Frankie sighed. "Look, I'll— I'll sneak you out of here later, okay? I promise." She paused. "So what exactly... what exactly happened?"

Esme was still crying. "He turned into traffic... I don't even know how it happened, it's all a blur..." She tried to catch her breath. "Frankie, I know you have no reason to trust me. But you've got to believe me— I would never hurt him on purpose."

Frankie stared at Esme, studying her pained expression. She couldn't say she really _trusted_ Esme, but... something told her she ought to believe her with this one. "Okay," she said quietly. She took a deep breath. "Um, do you want me to call your dad? I think I still have your home number in my cell—"

" _No!"_ Esme said abruptly. Frankie looked at her in confusion, startled. "Um, I mean, that's okay. I'll talk to him later." She sighed. "You promise you'll get me out of here soon?"

"Yeah... I promise."

"Frankie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming."


	133. The Worst Day Since Yesterday, Part 3

So this chapter shifts around quite a bit, sorry if it feels a bit scattered at times... there's just so much going on now! I rewrote this chapter a couple times, but eh here it is. Kinda feel like I've dug myself into a deep hole with this plot, but I'm glad it's been mostly well-received... (I only work one day this week which is why I've had so much time to update lately aha)

 **The Worst Day Since Yesterday, Part 3**

Frankie waited until her mother had fallen asleep and Miles and Lola had left before she tried to sneak Esme out. Esme would probably be discharged tomorrow anyway, but she didn't want to wait. Besides, Frankie knew Miles and her mother probably wouldn't let Esme anywhere near Hunter. Even if the crash wasn't her fault.

When the coast was clear, Frankie grabbed a surgical mask and pair of gloves and sprinted down to Esme's room. " _Esme_ ," she whispered. "Esme, _wake up_."

Esme looked at Frankie like she was something out of a nightmare. "Jesus, what are you wearing?"

"Just some doctor scrubs I found... thought it would help me blend in with the nurses."

"You look ridiculous."

Frankie sighed. "Look, do you want to get out of here or not?"

"Yeah..." Esme said. She winced a little in pain as she sat up. "Frankie—?"

"Yeah?"

Esme didn't look at her. "I'm, um... I'm sorry. For a lot of things." She stared down at the floor, her eyes heavy and a look on her face Frankie wasn't sure she'd ever seen her wear before.

Frankie just stood there for a second, not quite knowing what to say. Esme had kind of put all three of the Hollingsworth siblings through hell, but something told Frankie she really did care this time. Frankie still didn't understand what exactly Hunter and Esme saw in each other, honestly. But if it made them happy... "Let's get you to Hunter," she said, helping Esme up.

Frankie managed to sneak her into the room without any nurses or security catching them. Mrs. Hollingsworth was still fast asleep and snoring in the corner, thank god.

Esme's jaw dropped when she saw Hunter. " _Oh my god_." She burst into tears all of a sudden, something that caught Frankie off guard. "No... no, no, no, _no_..." she cried, reaching for his hands.

" _Esme_ ," Frankie whispered hurriedly, pulling her away from him. "Esme, calm down." The last thing Frankie needed was for her mom to wake up to an Esme Song meltdown.

Esme tried to push her away, but couldn't do much in her sling. "He's gonna leave me," she said. Her voice was shaky, delirious almost. "He's gonna leave me, just like my Mom, just like Zig..."

"Hey, hey, he's gonna be alright," Frankie tried, holding her back. She didn't exactly know that for sure, but she needed to calm Esme down.

But Esme was already too worked up. She broke free from Frankie's grip, reaching for Hunter's wrists again. " _Why the FUCK_ _does this always happen_?" she cried, her voice suddenly loud and shrill. "Why do I always hurt _everyone_ that—"

"Esme!" Frankie pleaded. "Please! You're gonna wake up my—"

Speak of the devil, Mrs. H started to stir just then. "Frankie?" she mumbled groggily, yawning. She caught a glimpse of Esme and suddenly sat up straight. "Frankie, what is _she_ doing here?"

A nurse barged in, hearing the commotion. "Esme Song?" she said sharply. "You need to get back to your room. You're still on a lot of pain meds and we need to keep a close eye on you." She glanced over at Hunter, adding, "Besides, after hours, it's family only."

Esme was still sobbing. "I— I just... need... to— to..."

"Family only." The nurse took Esme by the arm and practically had to drag her out of the room kicking and screaming.

When Esme was finally gone, Mrs. H turned to Frankie, a stern look on her face. "Francesca," she said firmly. "Don't bring her in here again. She's been nothing but trouble for all of you."

"Mom— the accident wasn't her fault."

"Frankie, what _possible_ reason could you have to trust that girl?"

Frankie couldn't answer that right then. So she just sunk into her chair, looking away from her mom and desperately hoping this nightmare would be over soon.

... **Shay** hadn't been up for babysitting tonight, not at all really. She knew it was a family emergency and all— she was worried about Hunter too, she'd been texting with Frankie all night— but she wasn't exactly in the best mood. She'd been training nonstop for weeks now but still hadn't improved her mile time. At this rate, she was never going to get the athletic scholarship she needed to go to school anywhere _remotely_ near Tiny.

Lately, Shay had felt distant from Lola and Frankie, like they were each other's actual best friends and she was just a backup. She'd especially felt that way with Lola recently. Frankie at least still tried to include Shay, invited her over, and texted her all the time, but Lola seemed to only pop up whenever she needed something. Just the other week, Shay had tried to FaceTime Lola after she and Tiny had a fight, only for Lola to put her on hold to get the baby and then never come back. Shay knew Lola obviously had a ton on her plate being a mother and all, but still...

"Thanks _so_ much!" Lola said to Shay, handing her Hope and dumping the diaper bag on her doorstep. "Um, there's two bottles of formula in the bag and her pacifier and pajamas and some diapers. You can let her crawl around your bedroom— you don't have any stray Bobby pins lying around, right? She _loves_ to put those in her mouth— or she might just fall asleep in your arms if you sit down with her, she's pretty tired..." She kissed Hope and ran back to the Uber, not even saying goodbye to Shay.

Hope started to cry immediately. " _Wahhhhh_!"

Her mother came downstairs. "Shay?" She stopped in her tracks, surprised to see the baby. "Uh, what—?"

"It's Lola's baby," Shay sighed, rocking Hope back and forth. Hope was adorable and all, but she was just so tired.

"You're babysitting tonight? I thought you were studying for the SATs."

 _Wehhhhhhh_!

"Change of plans," Shay mumbled, still trying to calm Hope down.

"We haven't seen Lola here in awhile."

"Yeah," Shay muttered. "She's been uh, _busy_ ," she added, glancing at Hope.

Shay's mother sighed. "Well," she said, "thank you for not giving me grandchildren anytime soon, at least."

... **Miles** got to the hospital bright and early the next morning to meet his mother. He hadn't wanted to go home all night, but he knew they couldn't leave Shay to babysit overnight. He'd left Lola and Hope back at the house— this morning, he walked in on the two of them cuddling together in the rocking chair, both fast asleep and snoring loudly. As he watched them, for a second, this whole thing felt like just a dream.

"Hey," he said to his mother, handing her a coffee. He glanced over at Hunter, who was still lying unconscious. "How's he doing..?"

"Nothing new, really," Mrs. H said. She sighed. "It's torture waiting for him to wake up like this."

 _Yeah, tell me about it_ , Miles thought to himself. But he just nodded and put his arm around her. "Have you been up all night?"

"I caught a little sleep here and there," Mrs. H muttered. "But mostly."

Miles sighed. "Mom, you should rest. I can keep an eye on him."

"I'm fine."

" _Mom_." Miles shook his head. "Look. Just go take a nap in the corner over there for a few minutes. Believe me, you're going to drive yourself crazy just watching him all day like this."

"I'm fi—" Mrs. H started to say, yawning loudly. She paused. "Alright," she sighed. "But only for a couple of minutes." She went and lied down in the corner by the windowsill, knocking out almost instantly.

Miles was left alone with his brother. In a way, he was almost sort of glad he'd been through this before so he wasn't as left in the dark about all of this. But on the other hand, he didn't want to see Hunter end up like Tris, in a coma for months and never quite the same afterwards— Miles couldn't imagine anything worse. It was hard not to let his mind drift into that dark place again.

The only thing that had gotten him out of that dark place was Lola, really. She gave him Hope, both figuratively and literally. As he stared at his brother in this state, he realized all he could do was _hope_.

"Hey, buddy," he whispered to Hunter, trying not to wake his mom. "Listen. You've gotta wake up..." He took a deep breath. "I mean. You can't leave Mom hanging like this. Frankie needs you back; who else is gonna drive her to school every morning and teach her to play Realm of Doom? And _I_ can't get on without you; I can't be the only guy in the house..." He sighed. "And, come on— Hope needs her Uncle Hunter. You know she likes you best, right?" He looked down at the floor, then back at Hunter, realizing just how fragile he looked... how fast everything could change in the blink of an eye. _Fuck_. He couldn't lose his brother, he couldn't be taken away from him, not like this... he regretted all the times they fought now, all the times he had teased him, or pushed him around. " _Hunter_. You've gotta wake up... you've got to..." He felt his eyes start to water a little. " _Wake up, Hunter... wake up..._ wake up!"

And then, as if he'd been listening the whole time, Hunter opened his eyes.


	134. First Day of My Life

So I kinda have mixed feelings about this point in the story. I'm glad the Hunter plot has been well-received, but at the same time I don't want the Hesme drama to overshadow Mola too much. This is a dramatic chapter and a little over the top, but I found it fun to write. We'll get back to some more Mola scenes soon.

 **First Day of My Life**

Hunter didn't just go back to normal after he woke up, at least not right away. Since his coma lasted less than 24 hours, the damage wasn't too severe— nothing like the state Tristan was in when he first came out of his stupor. But still. He wasn't quite _Hunter_ yet.

"I can feed myself," he muttered grumpily as his mom helped him hold his fork up.

"No. You can't," Mrs. H insisted. "Here, eat some more rice."

Hunter just turned away. "Not hungry."

Mrs. H sighed. She stared long and hard at her youngest son, so many emotions running through her mind. She was so grateful that he was alive, that she hadn't lost him. But at the same time, she was worried. The last time Hunter had crashed a car, he was on the verge of a breakdown. He'd been pretty stable over the last year since the medication and therapy and all, but still. Mrs. H didn't want to think about that, about him going into such a dark place again. It had to be Esme, she told herself. _She_ had to be the bad influence here, the reason he crashed. "Hunter..." she started.

"What?"

Mrs. H set the food tray down. "What happened in the car? Why did you crash?"

Hunter tried to think. Truth be told, it was all kind of a blur. He remembered a few details, something vague... Esme. Something happened with Esme. But what? Miles had told him Esme was fine, that she was safe and out of the hospital. But he wouldn't tell him anything beyond that and he wouldn't let him use his cell to call her. "I don't know," he said truthfully. He sighed. "Where's Esme? Miles wouldn't tell me shit."

Mrs. H shook her head. "I don't want you seeing that girl anymore."

" _What_?"

"You heard me. She's nothing but trouble."

Hunter wanted to roll his eyes— _he_ was the one who brought a gun to school a couple of years ago, but _Esme_ was the bad influence here? "You can't stop me from seeing her."

"Try me."

... **Lola** sat in the nursery playing with Hope a couple of days later. "Chin... eyes... nose," she said, moving Hope's tiny fingers around.

"Dada!" Hope squealed.

"No," Lola sighed. " _Mama_ ," she pointed to herself.

"Mmm—," Hope started.

Lola sat up straight, her eyes lighting up. " _Mama_?"

"Mmmahhhgoo."

"Close enough," Lola muttered, scooping Hope into her lap and planting a kiss on her forehead. Lola leaned into the baby and sighed. She hadn't been feeling so good lately. Probably from all of the stress with Hunter and her parents.

Hope squirmed around restlessly, glancing around the room like she was looking for something. "Buh buh?" she said.

"Hmm?" Lola asked. "...bear? You want your teddy bear?"

"Buh buh," Hope said again. She started to whimper.

"No, no, don't cry, Hopey," Lola said, standing up, Hope clinging to her shoulder. Ouch. Her back was killing her. "Mommy will find your bear."

Lola rummaged all throughout the house for about fifteen minutes, but couldn't find the teddy anywhere. It was Hope's favorite stuffed animal, the one that Lola and Frankie and Shay had picked out at the mall last year. Wait. _Shay._

Lola reached for her cell and dialed. "Hey, Shay? Did I leave Hope's teddy bear at your place?"

Shay sounded tired. "No, I haven't seen it." She paused. "Hey um, are you still coming to my track meet next weekend? Biggest race of the year. A couple of scouts will be there."

"Yeah," Lola said. "Yeah, of course. Wouldn't miss it." Hope started to cry again. "Oops. Gotta go. Talk to you at school."

Lola turned to Hope. "I'm sorry baby, but I just don't know where your bear is," she said frantically.

Wait, Lola realized, feeling that pit in her stomach again. There was one other place it might be...

 **Miles** drove Frankie to the hospital to meet Hunter and their mom. Hunter was finally allowed to go home today. The road ahead still wouldn't be easy, though. He was in a brace and on crutches and he would have to start physical therapy soon. But still, it could have been _so_ much worse. The Hollingsworth siblings had never really considered the prospect of losing one another before like this.

"So we'll help Mom get Hunter home and I'll take him to physical therapy tomorrow while Mom watches Hope," Miles said to Frankie on the drive to the hospital. "And then if you call in his prescription I can swing by the pharmacy later and then pick up some more baby food at the store... do you need anything? I'm thinking we should get some more of that candy cane ice cream."

Frankie couldn't help but laugh a tiny bit. Just a couple of years ago, her brother had been popping pills and throwing ragers, now he was like something out of _Leave It To Beaver_. "Well, look at you being all responsible and take-charge," she smiled. "Fatherhood really _has_ changed you."

Miles grinned. "Yeah, having to change someone else's diaper every day will do that to you." He cleared his throat. "So uh, did you find out what happened between Hunter and Esme? With the accident?"

"Not really," Frankie shrugged. "Neither of them really remembers much." She was quiet for a minute, then added, "But Miles, I don't think it was her fault. I mean... I thought her and Hunter's relationship was bullshit, honestly. But it seems like she actually cares about him."

Miles snorted a little. "Right. Like she cared about you when she left you in the woods. Or she cared about me when she got me addicted to those pills."

Frankie sighed. "Okay, yeah but... people can change, Miles. I mean, you did."

"She puts our brother in a coma and you think she's _changed_?" Miles shook his head as he pulled into the parking lot. "No offense, but get real, Frankenstein. Esme's a hopeless case."

"Jesus, Miles. None of us are saints. I made a racist drawing that almost got me expelled. Hunter brought a gun to school. You knocked up a girl her first time. While you had a boyfriend in a coma too."

Miles parked the car. "Shut up, Frankie."

She opened the car door. "And for the record," Frankie said, "no one _made_ you take those pills. I thought you were finally taking responsibility for things. But I guess not." She slammed the car door, walking towards the entrance without him. She didn't even know _why_ she was defending Esme, why she was laying into Miles so hard, exactly. It wasn't like they were suddenly friends. But still... there was something about her. Something Frankie saw herself in.

 **Lola** walked into the Cantina with Hope, shaking a little as she did so. She'd been avoiding both of her parents for nearly a week now. She didn't know what to say to either of them— she was used to feeling this way with her mother, but her father... this was different. She couldn't remember ever feeling this angry and hurt with him.

Saad was waiting tables when she walked in. "Oh, hey," he said. He glanced at Hope. "Wow. She's gotten big— she was so little the last time I saw her."

Lola smiled a little. Even in her grumpiest moods, Saad could usually manage to cheer her up a tiny bit. "Say hi to Saad, Hope," she said, waving the baby's tiny hand.

"Abaaaa," Hope babbled, smiling and gurgling. She seemed to be taking a liking to him. Lola sometimes wondered how things would have gone between Saad and Hope had their brief relationship lasted longer, like if Saad would have been there when she was born or helped out with her like a sort of father figure. Then again, the fact that feeling Hope kick was enough to freak him out probably didn't bode well. But still, she was glad to at least have him around as a friend now.

Mr. Pacini came out from the kitchen just then carrying Hope's teddy. "Hola, Mija," he smiled. "I'm glad you called. Can't leave the little one without her teddy. How's Hunter? Any better?"

Saad excused himself to go wait tables, sensing the sudden tension in the air. "I'll see you, Lola," he muttered hurriedly. He knew that look on her face, perhaps a little too well.

"He's fine," Lola said, her voice short. She handed Hope her bear. "Well, not fine— he's in a cast and has to go to physical therapy. But he's alive and all." She glanced down at the floor, barely wanting to look her dad in the eye.

"Well, I'm glad he's alright," Mr. Pacini said. "Your mother didn't really tell me any details. Anyhow, how was lunch with her? Did it go okay?"

Lola wanted to laugh. "It was very... _informative_."

Mr. Pacini looked at her in confusion. "Beg your pardon?"

Lola shook her head, still not looking at him. "I learned a lot of interesting things about our family," she said. She laughed under her breath. "You know how you always told me when I was a kid that I shouldn't keep secrets from you? How it was always better to tell the truth?"

"What are you talking about, Mija?"

The words finally just rolled off Lola's tongue. "You told Mom to leave," she said, her voice suddenly angry. "You just told her not to come home and then told me that she _left_ us..."

"Mija—"

But Lola was too worked up. "All these years I've been blaming Mom, when I should have been angry with _you_ too!"

There was a silence in the Cantina. A few customers turned around. Saad watched from the corner of his eye, looking sympathetic to the both of them. A couple of the waiters, people Lola had known for years, stared at her, stunned. Hope started to cry a little, clinging to her teddy bear.

Mr. Pacini just stared at his daughter for a moment, too surprised to say anything. In all these years, he'd never heard her speak to him like this. "Let's... let's go talk about this somewhere. Why don't you come home with me and we can sit down and discuss this."

"I'm _going_ home," Lola said. "To Miles." She didn't feel so good about this, hurting her father. But she couldn't help it, she was just so upset, so angry and hurt. Betrayed, even. She started to leave, then turned around. "Oh, and Dad?" she said. "I'm engaged. I have been since Christmas. Secrets hurt— don't they?" She shut the Cantina door and sprinted away, tears streaming down her face and an ache in her stomach. Just when she thought maybe things were going back to normal between them... they weren't.


	135. Need You Now, Part 1

Everyone here is kinda at their breaking points, but I'm hoping nobody is too out of character during all this craziness. Please keep reviewing and letting me know any thoughts/suggestions!

 **Need You Now, Part 1**

When the family sat down to dinner that night, everyone seemed to be in a bad mood. Hunter was irritable in general, but still especially furious with his mom. Frankie and Miles hadn't spoken a word to each other since their fight in the car. And Lola was still so worked up over her dad. Hope seemed to be the only one in a remotely pleasant mood, just sitting in her high-chair clinging to her teddy bear, which she refused to get into the chair without.

"What _is_ this?" Frankie said, wrinkling her nose.

"It's what I made," Mrs. H muttered, plopping a scoop of some kind of casserole on Frankie's plate.

"I don't see why we can't just hire our chef back," Hunter added grumpily.

"I can _cook_ ," Mrs. H snapped.

Miles snorted. "Yeah, at least it's better than those orgy cupcakes Frankenstein made last year."

" _Miles_ ," Lola hissed, nodding towards the baby.

Frankie rolled her eyes at her older brother. "You're just mad because someone actually called you out on your crap for once."

Mrs. H had had enough. "Stop it, all of you!" she said sharply. "Now, we're going to sit and eat a _nice_ family dinner. For once." She took a bite of her casserole and pretended not to gag.

Lola's phone rang again, probably the tenth time it had happened in the last hour. Not wanting to see her Dad's face pop up on her lockscreen anymore, she turned it off.

"You turned off your cell?" Miles noticed. "You feeling okay?" he chuckled. She hadn't told him about the whole incident at the Cantina yet— not exactly her finest hour.

"I'm fine," Lola muttered. "Just not hungry." She glanced over at Hope, who was flinging mashed carrots off her spoon. "No, no, don't throw your food!"

Hunter was still scowling. "Funny, I remember a time when a "nice" family dinner didn't involve babies throwing food everywhere."

Miles narrowed his eyes at him. "Watch it, Hunter."

Hunter just shook his head. Hunter himself was never exactly a ray of sunshine, but post-coma Hunter was even surlier than usual. "All I'm saying is Lola's been living here for _months_ now," he continued, poking at his food. "And nobody seems to have a plan. I mean, she _does_ still have a dad, doesn't she?"

Miles had had enough. "That does it!" he said angrily. "Apologize to Lola."

Lola just didn't feel like engaging in more family drama right now. She wasn't even that angry about what Hunter said, just... tired. _Really_ tired. She got up from her seat and grabbed Hope, not even bothering to look at Hunter. "You know, I'm really not hungry," she said quietly, turning towards the stairs. "Thanks anyway, Mrs. Hollingsworth."

" _Lo_ ," Frankie called after her, but Lola was already halfway to her bedroom. She just needed to lie down and not think for awhile. She wanted to sink into her mattress and just block out all the background noise the way she did when she was little and trying not to hear her parents argue... just her and her thoughts. Only now it was never _just_ Lola— she pretty much had Hope with her or on her mind 24/7. Her baby, her mini-me.

"Hey, baby," she whispered to Hope. She sank into her mattress, the baby lying on her tummy. Lola sighed as Hope cuddled with her and made soft cooing noises. _So_ much had changed in just over a year. Lola had to admit that sometimes she found herself wondering what life might be like if she'd never had Hope— she'd still be living with her dad, her mom... well, her mom probably wouldn't have come back, Miles might still be with Tristan or off in London... and Lola would be, well, who knows. Her whole universe pretty much revolved around this baby now; she could hardly imagine a world without Hope.

Lola knew from the second that she found out she was pregnant that her relationship with her dad would never be the same. Her father had always been super traditional: growing up, Lola was hardly allowed to talk to boys, _especially_ after that whole Degrassi Nudes mess. She hadn't even told her father when she started dating Tiny back in grade 10. They had sort of skipped over the whole talk about boys and sex and all, which was probably the reason Lola brought a freaking vibrator to school (she still couldn't believe she'd done that, it was so embarrassing) and also probably part of the reason she got pregnant; it wasn't exactly like she could talk to her dad about birth control. Lola just figured one day when she was older and found "the one," she would introduce him to her father, get his blessing, and go through the whole traditional Argentinian wedding spiel. She'd never expected to be engaged at just seventeen. And by the look on her dad's face, he'd never expected it either.

There was a knock on the door just then. Expecting it to be Frankie, Lola called out, "Ugh, Franks, can you just give me a minute alone?"

But then Miles opened the door. "Hey," he said. His face was red, like he was still worked up over dinner.

"Oh. Hey," Lola muttered, scooting over a bit so he could join her and Hope on the bed.

"Dada," Hope cooed, reaching out towards Miles. Lola shrugged and handed her over to him.

"So, listen," Miles said, taking Hope into his arms. "Don't listen to my brother. He's just being an ass. I mean, it's not an excuse but people can be more irritable after brain injuries... I remember Tris was like that too. Still though, Hunter was a dick to you. Sorry."

Lola just sighed, hugging her knees. "It's fine," she muttered. "I mean, he did kind of have a point. I've been crashing at your place for like, an eternity to avoid my parents."

"Would you really want that, though?" Miles said. "Moving back into your dad's? I like having you here, Lo. Besides, it makes things so much easier with Hope."

"Yeah, I guess so," Lola agreed. She stared down at the floor.

Miles put his arm around her. "You okay? You've been a little... off, lately."

"I'm fine," Lola said. "Just not feeling great."

"You're not pregnant again, are you?" Miles said half-jokingly, looking a tiny bit nervous.

"God, no. I just..." Lola sighed. "I think I messed things up with my dad. Even more now." She sighed again. "He was all I had, you know? At least, before you and Hope came along. But he and I just keep hurting each other. I feel like I don't even know who my parents are anymore."

"Yeah," Miles said quietly. Hope leaned into him, closing her eyes and sucking her thumb as he rocked her back and forth. "I mean, I'm not exactly an expert in parental relationships. You know about my dad, obviously. And me and my mom just started getting along recently, really. But you and your dad, you never seemed that way. I... I don't think you should shut him out." He paused. "What happened between you guys today, anyway?"

Lola fidgeted uncomfortably. She wasn't sure how Miles would feel about her spilling the engagement to her father, espcially in the way she'd done so. "Um." She looked down again. "He and I um, we just... we had a fight. About my mom." That wasn't _exactly_ a lie.

"Oh," Miles said. He glanced down at Hope, who was sound asleep in his arms. What he wouldn't give to be as peaceful as a baby sometimes. "I'm sorry."

Lola shrugged. "I think I'm just going to go to bed early tonight," she said. "Try and sleep this feeling off..."

Just then, there was another knock on the door. Miles groaned as his sister opened the door. "Frankie, can you give us a minute?"

Frankie ignored her brother. "Um, Lo? Your dad's at the door."


	136. Need You Now, Part 2

I wrote this chapter right before bed and was kinda struggling with it, so may not be one of my best honestly. But here you go... I also had a request to have another flashback, so here it is. Next chapter will get back to the Esme drama...

 **Need You Now, Part 2**

Lola sat there frozen for a second. "My _dad_?" Except for that time Hope was sick, Mr. Pacini had never come by the Hollingsworths'. Even when Lola first moved out, he never tried to track her down and force her to talk.

"Yeah," Frankie said. She still refused to look at Miles. "He seems kinda upset. Said it was important. He's waiting downstairs in the living room."

"You should go talk to him," Miles said to Lola. "I'll get Hope ready for bed."

Lola just shook her head. "Okay," she mumbled, feeling that pit in her stomach again. She gave Hope a quick goodnight kiss on her forehead, then followed Frankie downstairs.

Mr. Pacini was sitting on the sofa in his work clothes, looking very out of place in this giant, luxurious house. He had the same expression on his face as he did at the whole intervention thing a couple of months ago. "Lola," he said, his tone stern, "can I speak to you outside for a minute?"

 _Like I have a choice_ , Lola thought to herself. "Yeah, okay," she muttered. She followed her dad out the front door, glancing back at Frankie, who gave her a sympathetic look.

Mr. Pacini didn't even say anything at first. He just stared at Lola for a second, sighing. Like he was trying to figure out how their relationship had gotten to this point. Lola hated how sad and hurt he looked. "So," he finally said. "We should talk about this afternoon."

"Yeah," Lola sighed. "I guess we should." She didn't have much to say. It was like her mind had gone blank and she was too exhausted to try and speak. She'd cried and yelled enough the past two years.

Her dad took a seat on the front porch steps. "Why didn't you tell me you were engaged?" He didn't even seem angry, just hurt.

"I... I don't know," Lola stammered. "I mean, we weren't really speaking much around Christmas time. And I guess I just wanted to keep it private." She sighed. "But this afternoon, I was _so_ mad at you. And I just really wanted to make you feel as bad as I did."

Mr. Pacini took a deep breath. " _Engaged_ ," he said, more to himself. "Mija, you're only seventeen."

"Yeah," Lola muttered. She'd already heard this spiel from Mrs. Hollingsworth. "I know that."

Mr. Pacini looked up at the sky for a second. "There's quite a lot you don't tell me, hmm?"

"What?"

"You waited for _four_ _months_ to tell me you were pregnant. You moved out with only a note. You didn't tell me about Hope's accident. And now you're _engaged_. At _seventeen_!" He shook his head. "I didn't even know you dated our busboy either. Saad? And while you were pregnant too? Ay dios mio!"

"How did you..." Lola started about Saad. She cut herself off quickly. It didn't matter. "Never mind."

"How many other boys have you dated behind my back?"

"I..." Lola stammered. Well. There was Tiny. "Just one," she answered truthfully.

Mr. Pacini didn't look at her. "Sometimes I feel like I don't even know you anymore, Mija."

Lola tried to fight back tears. Of all the harsh things her dad had said to her over the past two years, these might be the words that stung the most. "Well, it's not like you made it easy to talk to you about these things!" she cried. "I mean, boys, dating, hormones.. all that stuff was taboo growing up. All my friends could talk to their moms about that kind of stuff."

"Ay dios mio. You think it was easy raising a little girl all by myself? I thought I could handle it, I thought I was doing all of the right things with you, I thought—"

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't turn out the way you wanted me to," Lola finally snapped. She started to tear up. "Okay? I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you, but you can't tell me what to do anymore!"

"I didn't say you were a disappointment," Mr. Pacini said quickly. "I just..." He sighed. "I can't just sit and watch while you make all of these mistakes."

Lola sat up straight. "You think Miles is a mistake?"

"It... not like that, Mija. But you're _so_ young, Lola. Too young to be getting married. Too young to have a baby either, but..." He paused. "I want more for you than this."

"Miles is good to me," Lola said defensively, talking super fast like she always did when she was nervous. "He treats me _so_ well. He's a great dad to Hope. And we love each other."

"Again Mija, you're a _teenager_ still. You don't know the first thing about this."

Lola scoffed a little. "You don't approve of Miles," she said. "Do you?"

Mr. Pacini didn't say anything.

"Of course you don't," Lola muttered. "I thought you two were finally getting along, but you still don't approve, you _never_ approved—"

She thought back to one time last year when Miles dropped her off after school one day:

 _Lola waddled into the living room one afternoon, barely able to see her swollen feet as she kicked off her shoes. Fernando immediately started chewing on her left Converse. "Hey! Knock it off!"_

 _Miles reached down and handed her shoe back to her. "See you tomorrow?" he grinned, leaning down and kissing the top of her forehead._

 _"Yup," Lola giggled. "See you then." She blushed as he walked out the front door, blowing her a playful kiss as he closed it._

 _Two seconds later, her dad came in from the other room. "Was that Miles?"_

 _"Oh... Dad," Lola gulped. "I didn't know you were home."_

 _"What was he doing here?"_

 _"Nothing. I just got a ride from him is all."_

 _"You could have gotten one from Shay or Yael. And you shouldn't have invited him in. You know the rules, Mija."_

 _Lola rolled her eyes. "You_ do _realize he's the father," she said, smoothing her hand over her stomach. "He's gonna need to be around here, Dad. You know, for the_ baby _we're having?"_

 _Mr. Pacini shook his head. "Just go do your homework."_

"Maybe not at first," Mr. Pacini sighed now. "But have I not tried to be supportive? I gave him a job at the Cantina, I came over here to help with the baby, I let you _move out—"_

"But you still don't think Miles is good enough."

"Good enough to marry you while you're still in high school? No. I don't, Mija."

Lola stared down at the sidewalk. She felt like a little kid pouting all of a sudden, like a toddler sulking because her dad said no.

"And I can guarantee your mother won't be happy about this either," Mr. Pacini added.

"Yeah, what _about_ Mom?" Lola said angrily. She was still crying a little. "How about the fact that you told her to leave and then—"

"I know what I did, Mija!" Mr. Pacini interrupted. "Okay? I know." He sighed. "I made a _mistake_. And I've been trying to fix it ever since. And I'm _sorry_. But marriage is _complicated_ , Mija..." He clutched his forehead, looking beyond exhausted. "Are you ever going to forgive me? Or your mother?"

Lola still just stared down at the sidewalk. "Will you support me and Miles getting married?"

Mr. Pacini went silent again.

Lola turned to go back inside. "Then I'll have a great wedding without you."

Mr. Pacini stood up with her. " _Lola_ , wait," he said, grabbing for her arm.

" _Why_?" Lola cried, trying to pull away from him. She started to cry again. _Hard_. "What's the point anymore, Dad? All we ever do is fight, all I ever do is disappoint you—" She finally gave in and just sobbed. "And I... I _miss_ you, okay? I miss my Dad."

"Lola..." Mr. Pacini pulled her into a hug. They just stood there on the front porch for a second, him holding her while she cried into his shoulder.

As she leaned into her dad and sobbed, Lola heard Hope crying from inside the house. Wait. She looked up.

Shit. _The nursery window was open_. That meant Miles had probably heard everything...


	137. Your Mess is Mine

So this chapter was honestly a really difficult one to write. There's so much going on and tension is building high, but no one is just coming straight out and yelling at each other. There will be some lighter, shorter chapters soon. Hopefully this one doesn't feel too rushed or dull. Thanks for reading and please keep reviewing! xx

 **Your Mess is Mine**

The only thing worse than chaos was the inevitable, uncomfortable silence that followed. By the time Lola went back inside— after a lot of tears and her father making her promise to stop by the Cantina soon— Miles had turned off all the lights and gone to bed. She'd knocked on his door, but he was either asleep or pretending to be. Even Hope had miraculously settled down, magically asleep and snuggled up in her crib with her teddy bear by the time Lola had brushed her teeth. Even though she was glad to have gotten a lot of things off her chest with her dad, Lola went to bed that night feeling uneasy about everything still.

When Lola went downstairs for breakfast the next morning, everyone was already sitting down at the table without her. Hope was in her playpen nearby, cooing away and still clinging to her teddy.

Frankie glanced up from her cereal. "Morning, Lo," she said. She was sitting as far away from Miles as possible still, Lola noticed. She figured they were probably fighting, but neither of them had told her why. Lola didn't pry— pretty much everyone seemed to be fighting with each other in one way or another, anyway.

"Morning," Lola tried to smile. She planted a smooch on the top of Hope's head, then sat at the table far away from Hunter, still avoiding eye contact with him. She was kind of pissed about yesterday still. And from the looks of it, so was he. He was sitting at the table with his arms crossed, glaring down at his oatmeal like he was trying to shoot daggers at it.

Lola turned to Miles. "Hey," she shrugged sheepishly. She still wasn't sure what... if any... of last night's conversation he had overheard.

Miles barely looked at her. "Hi," he mumbled. Welp. Lola supposed that answered her question.

Mrs. Hollingsworth came in just then, still looking exhausted. She was wearing no makeup and her hair was in a messy bun— unusual for her. "Oh good, you're all awake," she said, not particularly looking at any of them. "Miles, you're going by the pharmacy today, right? And Frankie, Lola, I need your help running errands. We need to stop by the post office and the bank and—"

"What am I, useless?" Hunter interrupted grumpily.

"Really?" Frankie scoffed at her twin. "You're _complaining_ about not having to do chores now?"

"You need your rest," Mrs. H sighed. She turned to her other son. "Miles, I don't suppose you could make the pharmacy run quick? I... I don't want to leave Hunter here alone too long."

That was enough for Hunter. "Oh. _Great_ ," he tossed his spoon on the table, the metal making a loud _thud._ "Now I need a babysitter too, apparently."

"I'm just trying to keep you safe," Mrs. H said, losing her patience.

"From what?" Hunter barked. "From injuring myself... or from seeing Esme?"

Miles groaned, tired of the constant bickering. "Hunter, geez," he sighed. "Let it go."

"Easy for you to say," Hunter said. "You get to have your girlfriend live here."

Miles glared at him. "Watch. It," he muttered between gritted teeth.

"You know, I think I'm gonna go shower," Lola said, quickly excusing herself. "I'll just, um, grab a granola bar or something before we leave. Miles, do you mind packing Hope's diaper bag for me..?"

Miles still didn't look directly at her. "Actually, I'll just take Hope with me this morning."

"Oh," Lola said. She glanced back at the baby, who was chewing on her Teddy's arm. "I mean... are you sure? I really don't mind bringing—"

"Yeah," Miles grunted. "I got it." He got up to clear his dishes, shaking his head and stomping his feet a little as he did so. As Lola went upstairs, she felt that knot in her stomach again.

Hope started to fuss, suddenly realizing both her parents were gone. Frankie picked her up from playpen and bounced her against her shoulder. "You're alright, Hope," she cooed. "Auntie Franks has got you."

"Don't drop her again," Hunter mumbled.

Frankie spun around, finally fed up with her twin's comments. They were out of line, even for Hunter. "Hey!" she snapped. "Why are you being such a jerk to everyone?"

"Am not."

"Are too. I think Miles is going to kill you if you say one more rude thing to Lola." She sighed and took a seat next to him, Hope cradled in her lap. "Hunter, c'mon— talk to me."

Hunter didn't say anything.

"Come on," Frankie insisted. "Don't you remember when we were little and used to whisper secrets to each other all the time? It would drive Miles _crazy_."

Hunter finally stopped scowling a little. "Yeah, I'd forgotten all about that. We even tried to make our own secret language."

"Yeah," Frankie smiled. "Okay, I mean, I know we're not _that_ close anymore, but I'm still your twin. Just... talk to me, okay? Tell me what's going on." In the past, she would have just shrugged all of this off, let her brother deal with his shit on his own. When Hunter was in the psych ward a couple of years ago, she had been so wrapped up in her own stupid drama that she'd hardly done more than just visit him once or twice. But she was trying to be better than that now, trying to prove to everyone that she wasn't the immature mess they all thought she was.

Hunter was quiet for a second. "Can I borrow your phone?" he finally said. "Mom won't give mine back."

Frankie nodded quickly and handed her cell to him.

"Dammit," Hunter said after a minute. "Esme's not answering."

"Is that why you're so pissed?" Frankie asked. "Because Mom doesn't want you seeing her anymore?"

Hunter sighed. "It's not just that," he muttered. "It's this whole accident thing. _Something_ happened in the car right before we crashed... and I... I can't remember what." He laid his head down on the table. "It's driving me fucking _crazy_ , Frankie. It's like my brain doesn't work."

Frankie nodded. "Something with Esme?"

"Yeah," Hunter said. "Something important. But I can't remember what." He clutched his forehead, feeling it throb again. "The accident wasn't her fault though... I remember that. I remember turning into traffic. It was all me. But I still can't remember what happened _before_."

Miles walked back in just then. "Frankie, Mom's calling you," he said, not really looking at either of his siblings.

"Oh," Frankie said. "Okay..." She glanced back at Hunter, then scurried off to the other room, still carrying Hope with her.

A minute later, Lola was just getting out of the shower when Miles knocked on the door. "Uh, one sec!" she called, scrambling to throw on her towel.

"It's me," Miles said.

"Oh, uh, come in, then."

Miles came in and softly closed the door behind him. He scratched his head, staring down at the floor, then back up at Lola, then back down at the floor. "So. I guess your dad knows about the engagement, huh?"

"Miles," Lola gulped. "It just... it just kinda slipped out."

Miles shook his head. "But you told him to piss him off," he said. "Didn't you?"

Lola scrambled to find her words. "I... maybe. But I didn't mean it like that. Honest, Miles. I was just, I was pissed off at my dad for not telling me all that stuff about my mom, and I just wanted to... I don't know. Make him feel _bad_."

"Well, good for you, Lo," Miles said. He snorted a little. "You managed to make both of us feel like crap."

"Hey, you told _Tristan_ about our engagement!"

"That wasn't on purpose. And I didn't do it to piss him off," Miles said, growing more and more agitated. He stared down at the floor again. "And your dad _still_ doesn't approve of me. Great. That's just great."

"He'll come around—"

"Yeah, sure sounded like that last night. "He's not good enough for you?" Sounds like he's really coming around, Lo."

"Why are you so stuck on this?" Lola snapped. "What's the big deal what my dad thinks?"

"Nothing. I'm just fucking sick of everyone using my past against me, okay? My dad, your dad, Frankie—" He turned towards the door. "Forget it," he added under his breath. "I'll see you this afternoon."

"Miles, wait—" Lola started. But he was already gone. She tossed her towel to the floor in defeat, wanting to scream under her breath.

... **When Miles** went to the store later that morning, everyone seemed to be out with their families. Kids running around the aisles, siblings fighting over boxes of cereal, mothers scrambling to hold their sons' hands. Miles watched as a brother and sister no more than a couple of years apart in age bickered loudly. It reminded him a little of growing up with the twins. Come to think of it, it _still_ reminded him of them.

Miles was tired just watching these kids, glad Hope wasn't old enough to be running around like this yet. She was snuggled up to him in her baby sling, nuzzling against his chest half-asleep and making happy little baby sounds. He almost hadn't wanted to take her out of her car seat— she looked so peaceful and content, almost like she had when they first brought her home from the hospital.

He headed towards the pharmacy to pick up Hunter's medicine, sighing a little as he walked over. Truthfully, it wasn't even Lola that was really getting to him. It was the way Hunter had been acting lately. He was so irritating and rude, so difficult to deal with. But he also saw how scared his little brother looked, how not himself he was.

He walked up to the counter. "Yeah, for Hollingsworth," he said to the pharmacist.

"Miles?"

Miles turned around and was immediately caught off guard. "Mrs. Milligan," he said, his face turning pale. He hadn't seen Tris' mom in over a year. They'd always had a good relationship and been pretty close, having spent months together in the hospital waiting for Tristan to wake up. But given the circumstances, he didn't exactly expect her to treat him warmly now. He felt a bit of sweat on his forehead. "Um, hi."

Mrs. Milligan glanced at Hope. She looked like she wanted to say something, but just shrugged, "Picking up medicine for the baby?"

"Uh, no actually," Miles said, gently stroking Hope's head as she stirred in her sleep a little. "It's for my brother. He... he got in a car accident and was in a coma. Just for a day, but, uh, he's still doing pretty bad." He didn't know why he was telling her all of this, honestly. He just wanted to get Hunter's prescription and get out of here.

Mrs. Milligan looked startled. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry."

Miles shrugged. "Yeah, kinda sucks," he said. Hope woke up and started to cry. He awkwardly took her out of her sling and bounced her up and down his shoulder. "Shh, you're okay," he said quietly to Hope, trying to avoid eye contact with Tris' mom. And he thought running into _Tristan_ was awkward.

"He's out of the hospital, at least?" Mrs. Milligan said.

Miles looked up from rocking Hope back and forth. "Huh? Oh, yeah... Hunter's back home. Starting physical therapy this week." He looked down for a second, still feeling beyond awkward. "Um. How's Tris doing?"

Mrs. Milligan smiled slightly. "He's doing well, actually," she said. "He's out of rehab. He can swim and jog on the treadmill now. And he's taking some classes in the fall."

"Really?" Miles said. "Well, that's great."

"I suppose you two haven't talked lately?"

"Er, no," Miles said, glancing down at Hope. _Obviously._

Mrs. Milligan nodded as she picked up her perscription. "I assumed. Well, uh, it was good to see you, honey." She turned to walk away, then glanced back. "Miles? It'll get better with your brother." She smiled a tiny bit. "Just give it time."

Miles nodded. "Thanks," he said quietly.

... **Lola** got home that afternoon still feeling crummy about everything. She and Frankie had caught each other up on everything, from the drama with her dad and Miles to Frankie and Miles' fight in the car the other day. Lola didn't offer her opinion on that one— between her best friend and her fiancée, she didn't really know whose side she was supposed to take. She thought they both kind of had a point.

"Man," Frankie said after Lola filled her in on her dad. "Parents ruin everything, don't they?"

" _Hey_ ," Lola said instinctively.

"You don't count," Frankie laughed. "You're like, Jamie Lynn Spears 2.0."

Hope was back to sleep in her crib when they got home, snuggled up in her crib like a little angel. The baby was always the first thing Lola checked on no matter what. It was like a built-in instinct that came with being a mom.

Miles was standing over the crib watching Hope sleep. "Oh. Hey," he whispered to Lola.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Um. Can we talk?" he said, nodding towards the hallway.

They walked into Miles' room and sat down on his bed. "So, look," Miles said. "I'm sorry for kind of going off on you today."

Lola shrugged. "It's fine," she said. "I mean, I don't really blame you. I did screw up with my dad."

"Yeah, I was pissed. But there's been a lot going on here lately, with Hunter and all. Stuff that has nothing to do with you. But there's just _so much,_ you know? I just kinda snapped."

"No, I get that," Lola said quietly. She leaned into him a tiny bit. "I kinda did too."

Miles was quiet for a second. "Um... I ran into Tristan's mom today. At the pharmacy."

Lola sat up. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah," Miles said. "It was awkward. I mean, it was okay. But it made me think, you know?"

Lola stared at him. "About _Tristan_?"

Miles grabbed her hand. "It just... it made me think about that whole relationship. What life was like before you." He stroked the palm of her hand, taking a deep breath. "And Lo, what I realized is... life really _sucked_ before you came along." He finally smiled a little.

Lola breathed a sigh of relief. "So you don't regret anything? Choosing me, or having Hope, or getting engaged, or—"

Miles squeezed her hand. "Hell, no."

Lola finally smiled back. "Well, _good_ ," she said. "Because I didn't subscribe to three different bridal magazines for nothing." She leaned in and kissed him. "I know everyone thinks we're doing this all wrong, you know? Being a family so young. But I don't care."

"Me either." Miles kissed her back. He pulled her on top of him, his hands wandering down her shirt.

"Oh god," Lola moaned. "That feels good."

Miles grinned as he tossed his shirt off. "Been awhile since we've done this."

"Two weeks, three days and a few hours," Lola said. "... not that I'm counting."


	138. No Tears Left to Cry

So I honestly felt like we needed a break after several super intense chapters in a row, so I decided to write a lighter, Hope/Mola-focused one. We'll get back to the drama soon, but for now here's some baby stuff xx

 **No Tears Left to Cry**

Miles stood in the nursery the next morning getting Hope ready for the day. He reached into the baby dresser and sorted through her clothes, " _Aaaand_ that pair of pants should match." He slipped her into a pair of baby khakis and smiled a little to himself, proud of putting together a whole outfit on his own.

"Dada!" Hope said, smiling back.

Lola came into the room. She froze, making a face at Hope's outfit. "Okay, please tell me this is an April Fool's joke."

Miles frowned. "What?"

Lola sighed and took Hope from him. "These colors don't match at all," she said. "That striped shirt is way too small on her, and— are those _salmon_ pants?"

"Fine," Miles mumbled, annoyed. He went to go grab his shoes. " _You_ dress her then," he called out from the hallway.

When he came back to the nursery two seconds later, Lola had already put Hope in a brand new outfit— a floral onesie with faded denim overalls and light pink socks to match. "... okay yeah, that does kind of look better," Miles admitted.

Lola smiled proudly. "Never underestimate my fashionista skills." She glanced at the calendar on her phone, bouncing Hope against her shoulder. "Okay, so Hope's checkup is at 10:30 and it'll probably take about two hours by the time we get there and back... are you sure you wanna come with us? I know you have to help your mom take Hunter to physical therapy at 1 and—"

"Of course I'll go," Miles said. He squeezed Hope's tiny hand. "My kid, after all."

"Okay, but Frankie said she could help me if you're too busy to—"

Miles shook his head. "Frankie," he muttered under his breath. "Right."

Lola rolled her eyes. "Are you ever gonna stop giving her the silent treatment?" she said. "Come on, Miles. I know you guys had a fight, but I'm sick of being caught in the middle of you two."

Miles just shrugged, making that sort of pouting face he always did whenever someone called him out. Hope seemed to have inherited that from him. "Let's just get to Hope's doctor appointment."

Just then though, Hope spit up. She got baby gunk all over her outfit and Lola's sweater. "Oh, _Hope_ ," Lola cried.

Miles couldn't help but grin a little. "Well," he chuckled, "looks like she liked my outfit better after all."

When they got to the doctor's office, the pediatric wing was already filled with tons of little kids running around, babies crying, and frantic parents trying to keep their kids entertained while they waited for their appointments. As usual, Lola and Miles got some stares when they came in with the baby. Miles was still kind of self-conscious about everyone looking down on them, but Lola hardly even noticed the judgment. After all, a couple of snobby looks were nothing compared to walking around Degrassi pregnant all of last year.

There _was_ one parent in the room who was younger than them, though. A girl no more than fourteen or fifteen was sitting across from them all by herself with a tiny baby cradled in her lap.

Lola couldn't help but notice how nervous and scared the girl seemed. She tried to smile at her, remembering how intimidated she'd felt when she brought Hope to her first doctor's appointment. "He's cute," Lola said, glancing at the baby. "How old is he?"

"Oh, um, two months," the girl said timidly.

"Aw. Sometimes I miss mine being that little," Lola said. She nodded towards Hope, who was cradled in Miles' lap.

The baby started to fuss. "Oh no," the girl said, looking like she was about to cry herself. "I forgot his pacifier..."

"Oh! We have an extra one," Lola quickly offered. She reached into Hope's diaper bag and handed the pacifier to the girl. "Don't worry, it's clean."

"You're a _lifesaver_ ," the girl smiled. The doctor called her back and Lola insisted they keep the pacifier.

"That was nice of you," Miles said to Lola once the girl was gone.

"Yeah, well, she was all by herself," Lola said. She took Hope into her arms and sighed. "I mean, I'm lucky... I have you. I couldn't imagine going through everything all alone. A lot of guys our age, they... they don't stick around."

Miles frowned. "Well, that's crap of them."

"Uh, agreed." Lola planted a kiss on Miles' cheek. "Thanks for not ghosting me." Up until Miles, she had never really felt like anyone's first choice, never really had anyone make her a priority like this. Back when she was pregnant, there were still times when she worried Miles might change his mind and decide he didn't want to be involved after all, or that he would go back to Tristan even. But Miles always put her and the baby first, something she was forever grateful for.

A nurse finally called Hope's name. They followed the nurse into a room down the hall and Lola took a seat on the table, the baby cradled in her lap. "Babagahbada," Hope babbled excitedly.

"Big talker, huh?" the nurse said.

Lola smiled. "Yup."

The nurse handed Miles and Lola a stack of forms. "I'll need you both to fill these out. We just need to know family history— any diseases, medical conditions, mental illnesses. That sort of thing." She walked out of the room, telling them the doctor would be with them shortly.

Lola glanced over Miles' shoulder, Hope squirming in her lap still. "I'm allergic to dust bunnies," she said, looking at the family history form. "I sprained my arm rollerskating once. Oh... and I broke my pinky when I was seven."

"I don't think they need to know that," Miles laughed. "Wait, how'd you break it?"

Lola's cheeks turned pink. "None of your business."

"Lo."

"Okay, okay— I was feeding a duck bread crumbs at the park and it... bit me."

Miles just grinned, trying hard not to laugh. The thought of a little pigtailed Lola running around feeding ducklings was just too cute.

"It's not funny!" Lola insisted.

"It's a little funny," Miles chuckled. "Okay, uh, let's see... there's my dad's heart attack, my granddad on my mom's side had diabetes I think... my anxiety..." He paused, his expression serious all of a sudden.

Lola noticed the sudden change on his face. "What?"

"Nothing," Miles muttered, tapping his pen anxiously. "I just..." He sighed. "Well. My dad was addicted to coke. I was addicted to pills..." He glanced at Hope. "Do you think addiction... well, it's like genetic, isn't it?"

"I... I'm not sure. I guess, yeah. What's your point?"

"Well, I just..." Miles sighed, looking at Hope. "I don't want her to inherit that from me."

Lola squeezed his hand. "Oh, Miles," she said. "Hope's not even a year old."

"I know that," Miles said. "I meant when she's older. I mean, I've been sober for..." He tried to think. Well. There was that relapse he had the night before Hope was born— come to think of it, he'd never come clean about that to Lola. "... awhile now. But I still get the urge sometimes, you know? I don't want Hope to go through all that too."

"She won't," Lola said quickly. She hugged Hope tight. "We'll... we'll make sure of it. We should teach her all that stuff early, you know? I don't want her to have to educate herself on the internet like me."

"Sure," Miles said, grinning again a tiny bit. "Let's give her the birds and the bees talk right now," he added, laughing.

Lola elbowed him. "Not _that_ soon!"

The pediatrician finally came in just then. "Nice to see you again, Hope," he said, shaking her tiny hand. "Nine months old already? Where does the time go?"

"You're telling me," Lola said.

The doctor pressed a stethoscope to Hope's chest. "Crawling okay still?"

"Mhm," Lola said, watching anxiously as Hope squirmed a little.

"Is she trying to pull herself up on furniture yet?"

Lola looked at the doctor worriedly. "No... should she be?"

"No, it's still pretty early. That's normal." He ran his hand over Hope's head, feeling her soft spots. "Any words yet?"

Miles smiled. "She says "dada" all the time," he said.

Lola sighed. "Yeah... any idea when she'll start saying _mama_ instead?"

The doctor chuckled. "Just be patient." He checked his clipboard. "Okay, everything's looking good. Ready for the next shot?"

Miles sat up straight. "Shot?" he said, his voice nervous all of a sudden.

"Oh, that's right," Lola said. "You weren't here last time... yeah. She's due for her measles vaccination."

Miles winced a little. He hated shots as a kid, but something told him he would hate watching Hope get them even more. "I'd forgotten all about shots."

"It'll only take a second," the doctor assured them, getting his needle ready.

Miles didn't want to look. He knew Hope had to get her vaccinations and all, but he just really hated to see her cry. "You got this," he said to Hope, squeezing her little fingers.

Neither Miles or Lola looked as the doctor gave Hope her shot. _"WAAAAAA!"_ she cried right away.

"Shit," Miles said under his breath. He rubbed Hope's back as Lola bounced her against her shoulder. "It's... it's okay, Hope. You're okay." He tried to make a funny face like the kind he used to oomfchat to Lola. "Look! Look at Dada." But Hope still wailed.

"You're okay, baby girl," Lola tried. She bounced her up and down. "C'mon, baby! You're alright, Hopey." She reached into the diaper bag and grabbed Hope's teddy bear.

Slowly, Hope started to calm down. She clung to her bear and leaned into Lola. "Baa goo," she whimpered.

"There!" Lola said, letting out a deep breath as Hope stopped crying. She kissed the top of the baby's head. "That's my girl."

Hope looked up at Lola. " _Mama_."


	139. Picking up the Pieces, Part 1

**Picking up the Pieces, Part 1**

Lola and Miles sat at the breakfast table a few days later, both exhausted. Miles had been up late revising his story for creative writing and Lola had stayed up til 2 am cramming for her science exam... thank god spring break was next week. Hope had woken them up a grand total of four times last night. Half the time she wanted to be fed, the other half of the time she just seemed to want attention. Miles and Lola had been arguing about how to handle it— Miles was going by the doctor's advice that it was okay to let her cry sometimes so she'd learn how to go back to sleep on her own. Lola on the other hand, insisted they immediately rush to her crib the second they heard her crying. Probably just one of the many parenting dilemmas they'd argue about for the next eighteen years, given their vastly different upbringings.

"Mama!" Hope squealed from her high-chair, smiling at Lola.

Hope certainly had a new favorite word. Since that doctor's appointment, she'd hardly said anything besides "Mama." Lola had been thrilled at first, to say the least. "Our baby's a _genius_!" she'd said to Miles, ignoring the fact that that was completely age-appropriate vocabulary. After a few days though, the novelty of hearing it had sort of... worn off a little.

Hope banged her baby spoon against her high-chair tray. "Mama Mama Mama Mama!" she babbled excitedly.

Miles clutched his forehead. "Okay, tell me again why you were so eager for her to start saying that," he groaned.

"It's... _cute_ ," Lola insisted. Though she had to admit she was getting a headache.

"Mama maMA MAMA—"

"Hope!" Lola finally said. "Baby, be quiet for a minute. Mommy and Daddy are trying to eat!"

Hope was quiet for a second. She reached out towards Lola, giving her those puppy dog eyes. "Ma...ma?" she whimpered.

The alarm went off on Lola's cell phone just then. "Okay," she sighed to Hope, planting a kiss on the top of her head. "Mommy has to get going now." She grabbed her book bag, then turned to Miles. "You sure you don't mind watching her til Camila gets here? I just really need help cramming for this exam— Saad is like, a super genius when it comes to the Milky Way."

Miles laughed a tiny bit under his breath. "Saad, huh?" he muttered, not doing a very good job of hiding that twinge of jealousy he still felt whenever Lola gushed about Saad and how smart he was.

"It's just a group study sesh," Lola said, rolling her eyes. "Me, him, Frankie, and Yael." She took Hope out from her high-chair and handed her over to him. "And anyway, I think you two could become friends if you actually got to know each other."

"Maybe," Miles mumbled, not too enthusiastic. He glanced over at his sister as she came down the stairs. "Frankenstein," he nodded, barely acknowledging her.

"Annoying older brother," Frankie nodded back.

"Let's just get going," Lola sighed. She gave Hope and Miles each one more kiss, then followed Frankie out the door.

Miles looked down at Hope once they were gone. "C'mon," he said to her. "Let's go wake up your Uncle Hunter."

 **Hunter** laid upstairs, ignoring the knock on his door. "Go away," he mumbled, throwing the covers over his head.

It wasn't that Hunter was _trying_ to be a jerk, per say. It was just that he felt so unlike himself, so out of tune with his own body. He needed help with almost everything— eating, getting dressed, going up and down the stairs. He couldn't even go back to school til after spring break. He wasn't used to being babied like this, like he couldn't handle anything on his own.

And then there was the whole Esme sitch. Hunter hadn't heard from her since she got out of the hospital. In her defense, Hunter's mom had taken his phone away. But still, she hadn't even called Frankie back or responded to his Facerange messages or _anything_. Hunter wasn't sure whether to be irritated or very worried. Kind of both, he supposed. Could he even consider her his girlfriend anymore?

And God, the way everyone kept jumping to conclusions about the accident, the way everyone was _so_ quick to blame Esme... it drove him nuts. He'd stayed up for hours last night staring at the ceiling in bed trying and trying to remember what happened, what really happened between him and Esme right before the accident. But no matter how hard he pushed himself, he just _couldn't_ remember. He got so frustrated that he almost punched a hole in his bedroom wall.

Miles finally just barged in. "Hunter," he said, carrying Hope on his shoulder. "Get up!"

"Leave me alone," Hunter muttered. He knew he was being a jerk, but he just... didn't want to deal with Miles right now. Or anyone, really. "Just lemme sleep."

"You need to take your medicine," Miles insisted, sounding a little too much like a parent for Hunter's liking. "Besides, it's not good for you to stay in bed all day. You need to do your stretches."

Hunter just grunted, his face still buried underneath the covers.

"Hunter," Miles said again, growing irritated.

"Gahhh," Hope cooed at Hunter, as if to say _yeah,_ _get up_.

" _Fine_ ," Hunter finally gave in, tossing his covers aside. He tried to stand up on his own, but Miles had to help him get his crutches. Great.

Miles helped him get down the stairs, trying to keep one hand on Hope and the other on Hunter. It sort of made him feel like he had two kids— he wondered how his mother had handled having three toddlers at a time. Thank god Lola hadn't had twins.

Miles sat Hunter down at the table. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Nothing."

"Hunter, c'mon," Miles said, losing his patience. "Don't be a dick."

"Lay off. I told you I'm not hungry," Hunter snapped.

Miles sighed— this was getting beyond annoying. He needed to just talk to his brother and find out what was really going on already. He set Hope in her bouncy chair across the room. "Stay here for a sec," he cooed to her.

He took a seat next to Hunter, making sure he could still see Hope from where he was sitting. "Hunter," he said. "Look. I know these last couple of weeks have been rough, but you can't keep acting like this." He looked over at Hope, who was happily distracted by her toys, then turned back to his brother. "I know you're pissed that Mom won't let you see Esme, but—"

"Yeah, of course I'm pissed," Hunter said. "She never banned you from seeing any of _your_ girlfriends." He glanced at Hope, adding to Miles, "You get away with _anything_."

"You really wanna go there?" Miles said, shaking his head. "Look, I get why you're so pissed, but _get over it_. Esme's bad news. After that accident, you're lucky to be alive."

 _Not this again._ "You weren't there," Hunter snapped. "God, why is everyone so quick to blame her for the crash? I was the one driving."

"You forget how well I know Esme."

Hunter shook his head, not wanting to be reminded of their history. He always got hand-me-downs no matter what, even when it came to girls. Miles _always_ had everything first. That reminder, that causal remark and stupid know-it-all look on Miles' face, was enough to set Hunter off. "God, just _shut up_!" he snapped. He slammed his silverware on the table, his face turning red and hot.

Miles put a hand on his shoulder, knowing what was coming. He'd seen this version of Hunter too many times. "Hey. Hey, just _calm down_ , buddy—"

But Hunter was already too worked up. "No!" he yelled. He was so _sick_ of everything— sick of being on crutches, sick of not being able to take care of himself, sick of not seeing his girlfriend, sick of Miles acting like he knew what was best for him. "Quit telling me what to DO!"

Lost in a fit of rage, Hunter picked up the glass in front of him and threw it at the wall across the room. It shattered into a million pieces instantly. The shattered glass missed Hope by just mere inches, striking her teddy bear instead. She wailed, frightened by all the commotion.

Miles immediately rushed over to the baby in a panic. " _Hope!_ You okay?" he cried, taking her into his arms. He rubbed her back and rocked her back and forth, beyond relieved she wasn't hurt.

"Miles," Hunter gulped, coming out of his stupor. He stood there shakily, looking just as horrified as his brother. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He'd been angry, but he didn't mean to scare Hope or put her in any type of danger. He'd never hurt the baby on purpose, honest. He stared at the deep cut on her teddy bear, realizing how that could have been _Hope_ instead. "I didn't mean to... I don't... I wasn't aiming for—"

Miles could hardly stand to look at his brother. He couldn't remember the last time he was this upset— he was so angry, he was shaking. "Now, _you listen_ _to me_ ," he shouted through gritted teeth. It took everything in him not to grab his brother by the neck right now. "You do not _ever_ put my kid in danger. Got it? _EVER_!"

Hunter just nodded, unable to find the words. He felt like he was fifteen again, back at that school dance with his gun ready. He didn't want to be that Hunter again, he didn't want to be the guy who scared everyone and hurt people... it scared him, how easily he was falling back into his old ways. "I'm sorry," he managed, still shaking.

The doorbell rang suddenly, barely audible over Hope's crying. "That's Camila," Miles muttered. He rushed over to the front door, keeping both his arms wrapped around Hope super protectively.

"Miles," Hunter gulped. "I— I'm really sorry." He didn't think he'd ever felt worse in his life, honestly, except maybe that time he'd pushed Yael down in the hall. "Are you... are you gonna tell—?"

"Lola?" Miles said. He snorted a tiny bit. "No way. She'd kill you."

After Miles got the baby set up with the nanny and cleaned up the glass, he walked out the door without so much as a glance at his brother. Hunter sank into the couch, burying his head under the covers again. _Fuck._


	140. Picking up the Pieces, Part 2

God, this story is so long now haha. Thanks everyone for sticking with it, I still love writing it so much. Anything you guys want to see in the future? Leave a comment or suggestion. Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated xx

 **Picking up the Pieces, Part 2**

"Uh, please tell me that was a yellow light."

Lola hit the gas pedal, feeling a little shaky as she drove. "It was yellow when I crossed the intersection," she muttered hurriedly to Frankie. "Oops! Sorry.." she waved apologetically to the driver she'd accidentally just cut off.

Frankie was giving Lola driving lessons, or at least trying to. With her and Miles both having such busy schedules with school and Hope these days, Lola realized it would make things easier if she didn't have to rely on Uber all of the time. She'd meant to get her license ages ago, but having a baby had kind of made that difficult. Unfortunately, Lola was less than a natural when it came to driving. She couldn't park very well, she always forgot to use her blinker, and she got scared whenever she had to change lanes.

"God Lo, be careful," Frankie sighed from the passenger seat. "The last thing we need is _another_ car accident."

"Hey, you failed your driver's test the first time!" Lola reminded her as they pulled into Saad's apartment complex. "You couldn't stop thinking about Jo- _nah_ ," she added teasingly.

Frankie scoffed. "Well, at least I didn't bring a vibrator to school as a keychain," she said. "Does Miles know that story?"

Lola turned bright red. " _No_ ," she giggled. "And he doesn't need to." She glanced down at her phone and frowned. "God, what's taking Saad so long?"

Frankie paused. "Is it weird?" she asked. "Being friends with your ex?"

"No," Lola shrugged. "I mean, not really. But me and Saad were never exactly normal anyways, I mean, I dated him while I was pregnant with another guy's baby..." She paused. "Why?"

"I don't know," Frankie said. "It's just.. seeing Jonah and his kid like that a couple of months ago..." She sighed. "I sort of... it almost made me miss him."

"Oh, Franks..."

"I mean, it's nothing, really," Frankie said. "Probably just a weird, temporary feeling. Or something."

Saad finally opened the car door just then. "Sorry I'm late," he said. "My little brother was fussing. Guess he's starting the terrible two's."

"Ugh, I'm so not looking forward to that phase with Hope," Lola said. "So, studying at The Dot, right?"

"Wait," Frankie said, checking the group text. "Yael just texted that there's like, zero tables left there."

"Crap."

"What about the cantina?" Saad suggested. "We could study there." He glanced at Lola. "Unless that's too weird with your dad."

Lola thought for a minute. Things definitely were still kind of weird with her dad. She felt nervous at the thought of walking into the cantina and seeing all her old coworkers after the last time when she'd pretty much completely lost it in front of all of them. But on the other hand, she didn't want to avoid the place, or her father, forever. At least she and her dad had sort of been trying to patch things up lately— he'd even mailed Hope a new onesie the other day (it was the wrong size, but still). "Okay," Lola finally agreed. "Sure. Let's go."

By the time they arrived at the cantina to meet Yael, Lola's father already had a table set up for them with snacks and everything. Lola didn't think she'd ever seen him so happy to see her.

"Okay, there's chips and salsa, empanadas, mini tacos... oh! I can have Lautaro fry up some churros if you want," Mr. Pacini said.

" _Dad_ ," Lola giggled, a little embarrassed. "You do realize we're here to study, not pig out."

"I know, I know," Mr. Pacini said hurriedly. "It's just... it's good to have you here, Mija. And I'm glad you're taking your studies seriously." He smiled a little and set down another bowl of chips. Then, he excused himself to go wait tables.

Frankie raised her eyebrows at Lola once Mr. Pacini was gone. "Well," she smiled, "seems like maybe he's coming around about the engagement."

Saad looked up from taking notes, caught off guard. "You're... getting married?" he said to Lola, looking surprised.

"Ahem. Guys," Yael coughed. " _Studying,_ remember?"

"Right, right," Lola muttered, blushing and fidgeting a little as she flipped through her science textbook. "Um. Yeah. I am," she added to Saad. Her cell buzzed just then. "Huh. Hunter just texted me..."

Yael looked up from their textbook suddenly. "How is he?" they said, a bit awkward. The two of them had sort of remained friends since their breakup last year, but ever since Esme came into the picture, things had been more than weird. They'd still been worried when he was in the hospital, texting Lola for updates on everything.

"He's fine," Frankie said to Yael, grabbing a handful of chips. She turned to Lola. "Why'd he text you?" The two of them barely talked, especially lately.

Lola was still staring at her phone. "He... _apologized_. For what he said at dinner the other night. He says he's sorry and that he doesn't mind me and Hope living with you guys."

" _Hunter_ apologized?" Frankie said, surprised. "Wow."

"Can we just get back to studying?" Yael sighed.

Saad nodded. "Milky Way won't learn itself."

They studied for awhile, making some progress. But everyone seemed to be distracted by something— Saad by the idea of Lola getting married, Frankie by Jonah, Yael by Hunter, and, as always, Lola by Hope.

"For the _last_ time, Lo," Frankie sighed, fixing Lola's notes for her. "Pluto's not a planet anymore!"

"But it _should_ be!" Lola insisted. "I mean, who decides these things?"

"Pretty sure scientists do," Saad laughed.

The bell on the front door rang just then as another customer walked in. Lola looked up from her cell to see who it was. She instantly felt a knot in her stomach. "Oh... Shay," she said. "Hey." Crap. _How had she forgotten to invite her?_

Shay looked just as surprised to see them. "Oh... hey guys."

"Do you wanna join us?" Lola said quickly, pulling up an extra chair. "We're just doing some last minute studying... we have some extra flash cards and stuff if you wanna—"

"That's okay," Shay smiled. But it was the type of smile that told Lola it wasn't okay. "I'm just grabbing breakfast to go. I'll uh, see you at school." She grabbed her order and walked out of the cantina with barely a wave.

Frankie leaned over to Lola. "I thought you invited her!" she hissed.

"I thought _you_ did!" Lola said. She supposed it wasn't too big of a deal, it was just a study session. But still, Lola felt like a rotten friend. She knew that feeling of being left out all too well. She thought of how she'd felt when Frankie and Shay invited their boyfriends over in the middle of girls' night, the night that resulted in her getting pregnant with Hope. Lola had felt so unwanted, so distant from her own friends.

Lola's cell rang. Hope's nanny. "Hello? Oh hey, Camilla," she said. "No, I— wait what's wrong with her teddy bear?"

Lola would make it up to Shay, she told herself. Once things calmed down a bit with Hope.

Trouble was, things were _never_ calm these days.


	141. Love in the Dark

**Love in the Dark**

Miles stood in the kitchen the next morning, Hope strapped to him in her carrier as he flipped pancakes. Since the glass incident, he was sort of wary of leaving her alone in her bouncy chair or play-pen, even just for a second. He kind of understood now how Lola felt after Hope's accident a few months ago. He still hasn't told Lola about any of this— he didn't think any good could possibly come out of her knowing. She was already under so much stress between the baby, school, and her parents that Miles didn't want to add to it.

"Mama mama," Hope babbled. The baby didn't seem afraid or shaken up or anything around Hunter, at least— she must have inherited Lola's optimism.

"No," Miles said, chuckling a little. " _Dada_."

Frankie came down the stairs just then, yawning in her pajamas. "Morning, Frankenstein," Miles said cheerfully.

"Morning," Frankie said, raising her eyebrows cautiously. "So, you're done giving me the silent treatment?"

Miles shrugged, handing her a plate of slightly-burnt, Mickey-Mouse-shaped pancakes. "Guess so."

Frankie smiled a little as she took the plate of breakfast. "Well," she said, "as long as these aren't poison pancakes."

Hope reached out towards Frankie. "Mama!"

Frankie laughed and took Hope. "Think she'll be saying "Auntie Franks" anytime soon?" she asked, bouncing her against her shoulder.

Miles grinned. "Nah... but maybe she'll say "Frankenstein.""

Frankie scoffed, but smiled still. "God, you look like such a _dad_ in that outfit."

Miles chuckled a little, but then his expression turned serious. "Um, listen," he said. "Have you noticed Hunter acting kind of... off lately?"

"Well, yeah," Frankie shrugged as Hope squirmed and reached for her hair. "Duh. I mean, he can't do anything for himself and Mom won't let him see Esme. I'd be pissed too."

Miles sighed. "Yeah, but... it seems like more than that."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, I just..." Miles didn't really want to get into detail. He knew if he told Frankie about the glass incident, she would for sure tell Lola. "I'm worried, Frankie."

Frankie was quiet for a minute. "I think something is going on with Esme," she finally said.

"Um, can we get back to discussing our _brother_ here?"

Frankie sighed. "No, I mean... I think that's part of why Hunter's been off lately. She's not taking any of his calls. Or mine. And her socials have been dead for over a week." She handed Hope back to him. "I think something's really wrong, Miles."

"Esme fakes a lot of stuff for attention though, Frankie. I mean, she pretended to cut her wrists junior year so I wouldn't leave her."

Frankie took a deep breath. "Look, I know you don't like Esme," she said. "But I know when she's bullshitting... and something tells me she's not this time. I'm telling you, something is wrong. And if it's effecting her, then it's effecting Hunter too."

Miles sighed. "So what do we do?"

"I think we should—" Frankie started. But then Lola came down the stairs and interrupted them.

"Ooh, Mickey pancakes!" Lola said excitedly, scooping Hope into her arms. She glanced back and forth between Miles and Frankie, suddenly picking up on the tension. "What do you guys look so gloomy about?"

"It's nothing," Miles mumbled. "Hey, have you seen Hunter? He was supposed to be getting ready for physical therapy."

Lola shrugged. "He's probably just in his room."

"Dada," Hope cooed at Lola, smiling. Frankie couldn't help but laugh.

Lola just shook her head. "Um, do either of you know what happened to Hope's teddy bear?" she asked. "It... it has a big tear in it. It just doesn't make any sense— Hope's just a little baby, she couldn't have done that."

"I'll... take a look at it," Miles muttered quickly. A bit of sweat dripped on his forehead.

"It's just so weird," Lola continued. She set Hope in her high chair and sliced up very tiny pieces of a pancake for her to try. "It looks like Fernando tore into it or something. But _that_ doesn't make any sense, I mean, he hasn't been around here... oh my gosh! Do you think we might have a ghost?"

"You believe in _ghosts_?" Frankie said, laughing a little.

"Well, not _ghosts_. Spirits, maybe. My dad swears we had one years ago."

"There's no ghosts here, Lo," Miles said, a bit shortly. He wasn't in the mood. "Frankenstein, can you go wake our brother up?"

"Sure, if you'll stop calling me that," Frankie said, heading up the stairs.

Lola turned to Miles once Frankie was gone. "Are you okay?" she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. "You seem really stressed, baby."

"Yeah, it's just..." Miles sighed. "Just a lot going on lately, you know."

Lola leaned into his chest. "Yeah," she said quietly. They just stood there like that for a second, Lola leaning into him and Miles rubbing her back gently.

"Mama! Dada!"

Miles and Lola both turned around and looked at Hope. That was the first time she had ever said both of their names together.

Lola smiled. "Well," she said, taking Hope out of her high chair and into her arms. "At least we've got each other, right?"

Miles smiled wearily, tired but content as they held Hope in between them. "Right."

... **Hunter** wasn't in his room when Frankie went upstairs. He wasn't even in the house. He had snuck out before anyone else was awake and hopped into an Uber, crutches and all. He knew his mom would kill him if she found out, but he _had_ to see Esme. He couldn't wait any longer.

Once he got to Esme's house though, it only took about two seconds for him to realize he hadn't exactly thought this through. He couldn't just knock on her door— her family was probably home. And he couldn't exactly crawl through her window, considering his broken leg.

Feeling exhausted and desperate, he picked up a pebble and threw it at her window from the side of the yard. "Esme!" he shouted. He threw another pebble. " _Esme_!"

He was just about to look for more rocks when someone opened the side door.

Esme's dad came outside, wearing sloppy clothes and holding a beer can. "Who the _fuck_ are you?" he slurred angrily.

 _Fuck._ "Um... I just needed to see if... Esme, is she... okay?"

"Get the hell off my property."

Hunter gulped. Every instinct was telling him to get away as fast as he could, but... he couldn't. "I just need to see Esme."

Esme's dad inched closer to him. "How do you know my daughter?" They had technically met once or twice, but her dad was pretty much always passed out drunk or asleep in his chair every time Hunter was over.

Hunter took a deep breath. His leg was starting to hurt real bad, but he couldn't just leave without Esme. "I'm her boyfriend." _Stupid,_ he realized immediately.

Esme's dad got right in front of Hunter now. "Get the fuck out of here," he said, right in his face. "And don't come near her again. Got it?"

But Hunter didn't budge. "Look, I just need to—"

 _Bam._ Esme's dad pushed Hunter to the ground. "Don't _ever_ come back here." He kicked Hunter's foot as a final warning, then went back inside the house, locking the door behind him.

Hunter clutched his leg, aching with pain. He tried to pull himself back up on his crutches, but he could barely move. _Fuck. Fuck. Fu—_ wait.

"Holy shit," he muttered to himself. _He finally remembered what happened in the car._


	142. Goodnight n go

First off, sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I've been a bit blocked on how to handle this Hunter/Esme mess I've created... this is a short, rare non-Mola-centered chapter that I'm not super enthusiastic about but I feel it's necessary to move the plot forward. Next chapter will be back to Mola. On a side note, I'll be bringing in some more characters, including more of Lola's family, soon... please leave a review if you can!! xx

 **Goodnight n go**

Esme hadn't left the house in almost a week. She'd been pretty much avoiding humanity altogether since she left the hospital. Hunter and Frankie had been blowing up her phone like crazy but she'd just ignored them. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to Hunter— she missed him like crazy. But she didn't want to tangle him up further in this mess than she already had. Besides, she had other things to worry about.

"E'me?" her littelest brother, Daniel, piped up, tugging at her sleeve. "More sippy?"

Esme took the sippy cup from his little hands. "Sure, Danny," she tried to smile, pouring him more juice.

 _"You're out of your mind!"_

 _"Listen, I don't have to take this, bi—"_

Esme sighed, trying to drown out the sounds of her father and step-mom fighting from upstairs. They made her and Hunter look like couple of the year. Her father was drunk again, no doubt, and her step-mom was probably threatening to leave again (she wouldn't— after awhile, Esme had learned). She was used to them arguing. But lately things had been worse, much worse than usual. Esme wasn't the only one using makeup to conceal bruises.

Daniel looked at Esme worriedly. "Mama and Papa again?" he frowned. There was a fear in his eyes that just didn't belong in a three-year-old.

"Don't worry about them," Esme tried to assure him. "Go watch TV with Kim and Xavi."

Esme waited til her brother was in the living room, then quietly sat down by the staircase to listen in on the conversation from upstairs.

 _"All you do is DRINK!"_ Esme heard her step-mom say. _"What kind of husband are you?"_

There was a loud noise.

 _"Don't try and make excuses. How long have you been seeing him?"_

Esme felt a pit in her stomach. _Oh, fuck._

Feeling a little faint, she stood up to go get a glass of water from the kitchen. But then she heard something else: a faint moaning sound coming from outside. It was an awful noise; it sounded almost like an animal dying or something. Quietly, she opened the side door to investigate. _Oh, shit._ She slammed the door behind her and rushed over. " _Hunter!"_ she cried. _"What are you doing here?_ What— what happened to you?

Hunter groaned, holding his leg tightly. "I... I needed to see you..."

"You shouldn't be here."

"I know. Your dad almost knocked me out."

" _What_?" Esme cried. _She would deal with her father later_. "Look," she said, "you have to leave."

"What? No. Not without you."

"Hunter."

"I'm not leaving you here with him."

"Hunt—"

"I remember now. Why we got into a fight before the crash. I know what he did to you, Esme."

Esme fell silent. She looked down at the floor in defeat. "I'm a big girl, okay?" she said. "I don't need you to look out for me."

"Esme, we cant let him hurt you like this—"

"I get it. My dad sucks. God Hunter, I _know_. But I can't just leave, alright? It's not that simple."

"What?" Hunter said. "Why not?"

"I've got siblings. A step-mom. People I need to look after. Besides, he's not always like this."

"You could call child services..."

"They won't do shit," Esme shook her head. She'd heard this all before. "You of all people should know— just ask Miles."

Hunter winced a tiny bit at that. "Esme," he said, his voice growing heated, "I've been going _fucking crazy_ without you. Seriously, I'm losing it. I even threw a glass at the wall the other day while Hope was in the room."

Esme was getting impatient. "So, clearly I should be taking advice from you," she muttered.

"Esme, please."

Esme didn't look at him. She cared about Hunter. She did. But she couldn't have him here like this butting in where he didn't belong. He would only make things worse with her family. Besides, she'd already gotten him into enough trouble as it was. She didn't want to, but she knew what she had to do. So, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed.

"Esme, what are you doing? Who are you calling?"

Esme ignored him. "Frankie," she said. "I need you to come and get Hunter. He came over here unannounced and tripped over something in the garden... messed up his leg pretty bad."

Hunter stared at her flabbergasted as she hung up. "What did you do _that_ for?" he shouted.

"Shhh!" Esme snapped. "You want my dad to come out here again?" She looked down at the grass and sighed. "Look, Hunter. It's been fun. But I think... I think we need a break."

Hunter just stared at her. "A break." He shook his head, laughing slightly under his breath. "Seriously? What, are we Frankie and Jonah now?"

Esme didn't say anything.

Hunter stared at her second longer. "Fine," he finally snapped. "Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore." His voice was angry, but his tone was nothing but hurt.

Esme turned back towards the house, blinking back tears. This was what she needed to do. For everyone's sake. "Hunter?" she said, reaching for the side door. "If I were you, I wouldn't tell Miles what really happened. You've already put him through enough lately."

She shut the door behind her, then sank to the floor and cried, hearing the sounds of yelling from upstairs still.


	143. Anywhere but Here, Part 1

Don't worry, the Esme plot won't be dropped entirely. Back to some Mola for now, though. I'm hoping I've got Lola in character here, it's not too often we see this side of her... as always, please review!! xx

 **Anywhere but Here, Part 1**

The next day after school, Miles and Lola laid on his bed together with Hope nestled in between them. It was a sleepy kind of afternoon— the window was cracked open just a bit so they could feel the warm April breeze as the sunlight draped over them. A peaceful afternoon.

Except for Miles, it wasn't.

He tried to let himself relax, trying his best to bury his nose in his English assignment. But his brain just wouldn't let up. He kept worrying about Hunter. His brother had hardly come out of his room since yesterday, not even to eat. Frankie had filled Miles in on the breakup, but didn't give a whole lot of details; Hunter was too angry to really talk about it. He seemed really broken up about the split, more than he had been over Yael. Miles had to admit he was kind of afraid of what Hunter might do next.

Lola stirred awake. "Hey," she whispered, trying not to wake their sleeping baby. She nestled Hope against her chest and scooched closer to Miles. "Whatcha reading?"

"This book _Beloved_. For my lit class."

Lola leaned into him. "What's it about?"

"Well, it's um, it's about a woman who escapes slavery, but then is haunted by the ghost of—"

 _Wehhh_. Hope let out a soft whimper.

"One sec," Lola muttered. "Shh, baby girl," she whispered to Hope, rubbing her back. "You're okay." She turned back to Miles. "So, is it any good?"

"Yeah, definitely. Morrison's brilliant."

Lola planted a kiss on his cheek. "Good," she smiled. "I like hearing about what you're reading."

Miles smiled and put his arm around her. "Thanks, Lo."

"We should do this more often, you know? Snuggle with the three of us like this."

"Mhm."

Lola finally picked up on Miles' uneasiness. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Miles tried. He smiled weakly. "Just... really intense chapter."

Lola narrowed her eyes on him. "Miles David Hollingsworth," she frowned. "I know that look."

"You're starting to sound way too much like a mom," Miles chuckled. Lola only raised her eyebrows, not letting up. He sighed and closed his book. "Okay, fine. It's just my brother, is all."

Lola nodded. "Yeah, I get it," she said, stroking the top of Hope's head as the baby squirmed again. "But try not to freak out too much, okay, baby? He's just going through a breakup. I moped around my room for weeks after you broke things off with _me_ when Tristan woke up."

"You did?" Miles frowned. "I never knew."

"Cause I kept all my socials positive to make it look like I was winning our break—, well, whatever it was..." Lola shrugged. "Look, as long as Hunter doesn't dye his hair blonde like Frankie did, I wouldn't worry too much." She rocked Hope back and forth trying to get her to go back to sleep, but it was no use.

"Here, let me take Hope for a second," Miles offered. "There, that's it..." he cooed to the baby softly as her cries quited down. "You're okay..."

Lola leaned into his chest and sighed. "Miles?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we just... stay like this forever?"

Miles looked back and forth between Lola and Hope, each curled up against him. "Yeah," he whispered. "Wouldn't mind that at all."

Forever didn't last long, unfortunately. Just a couple of minutes later, Frankie burst into the room, interrupting them as usual. "Why aren't you dressed yet?" she cried.

Miles looked at her in confusion. "For...?"

Frankie rolled her eyes. "That stupid family dinner thing at Mom's boyfriend's. Remember?"

Miles sat up, handing the baby back to Lola. "Is Hunter coming?"

"No, I think Mom's letting him sit this one out. He says he's not feeling well or whatever."

Miles gulped. "I uh, I think maybe I should stay home with him, then."

"Don't you bail on me, too!" Frankie protested. She turned to Lola. "Lo? Come with? _Please_?"

Lola looked down at Hope, who was sucking her thumb and batting her eyes all angelically. "But then I'd have to leave this little angel," she frowned, tickling Hope's chin.

Frankie huffed and shook her head. "I hate you both," she muttered, closing the door behind her.

Lola glanced over at Miles. "Hey, go if you want," she shrugged to him. "I can handle Hope myself tonight and I don't think Hunter exactly needs a sitter."

"I just want to keep an eye on him." Miles' hands trembled a bit, the way they always did when he was anxious.

"Miles..." Lola said.

"Huh?"

Lola sighed worriedly. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Like what?" Miles said, not looking at her.

"I don't know. Just seems like it." She looked at him sadly, a little hurt. "I thought we could tell each other anything."

"We _do_ tell each other everything, Lo. Geez." Miles stopped himself. "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "It's just... I..." He groaned. _Fuck._ "I can't lie to you, Lo."

Lola furrowed her brow, definitely worried now. "Well then, _don't_."

Miles glanced down at Hope and sighed. He didn't know if he was doing the right thing by telling Lola, but it didn't feel right keeping it from her. "The other day when you were at school..." he started.

Lola sat up. "Yeah..?"

Miles gulped a little. "Well, Hunter was... he was really mad. We were arguing and he was pissed at Esme and... well, you know how he gets sometimes." He paused, bracing himself. "Anyway, um, he... he sort of... threw a glass at the wall. Near Hope."

"He _WHAT_?"

"It didn't hurt her or anything!" Miles said quickly. "It just hit her teddy bear. That's how it got messed up." Miles clutched his forehead. "Fuck, I'm sorry for not telling you, Lo. I just didn't want to freak you out. I know Hunter wouldn't hurt Hope on purpose, but with the way he's been acting lately, I'm just worried that..."

"Oh my god," Lola said. Her face was pale, yet red at the same time. And there was a look in her eyes that Miles didn't think he'd ever seen before. "Oh my god. Oh my go—" Suddenly, she plopped Hope down in Miles' lap and jumped off the bed.

"Lola, _where are you_ —" But she had already sprinted out of the bedroom.

 _"HUNTER!"_


	144. Anywhere but Here, Part 2

**Anywhere but Here, Part 2**

Lola couldn't remember ever feeling quite this angry. Most people usually thought of her as a sort of ray of sunshine, that mom friend who tried her best to cheer everyone up. But there was another side of Lola that was less than cheery. She had her moments— getting in that police officer's face to defend Tiny, yelling at Shay to "go to hell" on the first day of junior year, really letting her dad have it at the Cantina a few weeks ago. But this, something about this was different. She didn't just feel angry, she felt almost instinctively protective. This wasn't about her, this was about her _baby._

Lola didn't even bother knocking. "Hunter!" she yelled, just bursting into his room.

Hunter was just sitting on his bed playing Realm of Doom on his laptop. "Lola, what— ow! What are you _doing_?"

" _Kicking_ you, you asshat!" Lola cried, trying to kick him in his non-broken leg. But her feet were so tiny that it felt more like a little bird pecking at him.

" _Why?"_

"Don't "why" me! You know what you did!" Lola said, still kicking him as he scooted away.

Miles rushed into the room just then. "Lo, just try and calm down—"

Hunter groaned. "You told her about the glass?" he said to Miles.

"Of course he told me!" Lola said, still trying to kick Hunter, but Miles held her back. "Ow! Stop pulling at my hair, Miles— Hunter, how could you do that? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Lola, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"I don't care if you're sorry! Do you realize what you could have done to my baby? You could have... you could have cracked her head open... you could have killed her, you could have—"

"Lola... I swear, I didn't—" Hunter tried.

"I DON'T CARE!" Lola shouted, her whole body shaking. She was so upset she was almost in tears.

Miles wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Lo..."

But Lola broke away from him. "God, go to _hell_!" she said to Hunter. Then, she sprinted out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

Hunter turned to Miles once she was gone. "You said you weren't gonna tell her!"

"Didn't feel right keeping it from her," Miles said. He was sort of regretting that now, though. "Besides, with the way you've been acting lately— throwing the glass, sneaking out to Esme's, not coming out of your room... I'm just..."

"What? You think I'm gonna fly off the rails again?"

Miles shrugged, as if to say _well, yeah._

"Look, tenth grade was a long time ago," Hunter said. "I'm not gonna go beserk and look for Dad's guns again or something... I've just been really pissed off, is all. About not being able to do shit for myself, about Esme dumping me... but I didn't mean to hurt Hope, okay? I wouldn't do that, not on purpose."

"I know," Miles said. He sighed. "But you could have really hurt her, Hunter."

"I know," Hunter said, looking down. "I'm sorry. I... I don't wanna be that guy who scares everyone again." He paused. "Shit. Guess I'd better lock my door at night now before Lola tries to murder me in my sleep."

"I'll... talk to her," Miles said. "But you owe her an apology. A _huge_ one. And if you _ever_ do anything like that again—"

"I won't," Hunter said. "Okay? I swear." He was quiet for a second, then added, "I'm not Dad, okay?"

"Yeah," Miles sighed. "I know."

... **Lola** was sitting in the nursery leaning against Hope's crib and furiously scribbling something down in a notebook when Miles walked in. "Hey," he said quietly. He glanced at the notebook. "What are you writing?"

Lola didn't even look up. "A pro/con list for killing Hunter," she said, her expression totally serious.

"Oh?" Miles said. He didn't bat an eyelash. "Well, what do you have so far?" he asked, sitting down on the floor next to her and putting his arm around her.

Lola was still scribbling. "Pro: satisfaction. Con: prison uniforms are ugly."

"Plus, I'm pretty sure they don't let babies visit," Miles added. He laughed a little under his breath. "Please tell me you're not seriously trying to kill my brother."

Lola tossed the notebook aside. "No... it just felt good to fantasize about it for a second." She paused. "God, how could he _do_ that, Miles?"

"I don't know," Miles said, his expression turning serious again. "He's just... he's not quite himself right now. He's dealing with a lot and... I don't know. I'm gonna talk to Mom, though. See if we can get him some extra therapy sessions or something."

Lola didn't say anything for a minute. "I don't want him around Hope."

"Lola, come on," Miles said. "I was furious too, but he wasn't aiming for the baby. He wouldn't hurt her."

"I don't want him around her," Lola said again.

Miles shook his head. "Fine," he said. "I won't leave Hope alone with him. Okay?"

Lola sighed. "No... I don't want him around her, _period_."

"Lo, he's my brother. He _lives_ here. How are we supposed to just—"

"I think I need to move out," Lola said all of a sudden.

Miles just stared at her. "What?"

"I... I think Hope would be safer back at my dad's," Lola said, trembling a bit. "Besides, Hunter said it himself, I've been crashing at your place forever."

"Lo, you're overreacting—"

"I am _not_! Miles, he threw a glass at the baby!"

"So, what then?" Miles said, his voice growing angry. "You're just going to take our kid and move back to your parents'? Back with your mom? And I'm just supposed to... what... visit?"

Lola shrugged. "I just think it's what's best for right now," she whispered.

"And I don't get a say in this? She's my kid too, Lola!" Miles cried.

"I... I know it's more convenient for us to live here," Lola said. "But I just _can't_ right now, Miles. We need to do what's best for our baby."

Miles slumped over, holding his face in his hands. "How would this even work?"

"I... I don't know," Lola said, still shaky. "I guess we'd have Camila watch her still. And you can take Hope when Hunter's at school or out somewhere. And you could maybe stay over on weekends?" She sighed. "Miles, I don't want to leave. But it'll be safer for Hope over there."

Miles just stared at the floor. "I don't want you to leave, Lo."

"Not forever," Lola said, her voice sad. "I mean, Hunter's applying for university next year, right?"

"I can get us our own place," Miles said suddenly. "We can get an apartment or sublease or—"

"But that'll take months," Lola said. She leaned into him, a little teary-eyed. "Just trust me on this."

Hope started to cry from her crib. Miles sprang up immediately, scooping her into his arms before Lola even had the chance to get up. "It's okay, Hope," he whispered. "Daddy's here." _How could he handle being away from her?_


	145. Home is in Your Eyes

**Home is in Your Eyes**

Lola moved back into her parents' that Friday evening, right after exams were over. It was bittersweet— Lola was happy to be reunited with her dad and Fernando and that Hope would be safer, but she hated the thought of being away from Miles. Plus there was the fact that she would have to live with her mother again, something Lola never in a million years thought she would do voluntarily.

"You don't have to do this, you know," Miles said to Lola on the front porch of her house after he'd helped her move her things. "We can work something out, I can— I can talk to my mom or make Hunter move into the pool house or—"

"Miles, don't make this harder than it already is," Lola sighed, bouncing Hope on her shoulder. "You've gotta trust me on this. For Hope's sake."

Miles nodded with understanding, but his eyes were still filled with sadness. "Yeah," he said quietly, staring at Hope. "But not forever right?"

"Right," Lola said. Truth was, they didn't really have a plan. They rarely ever did.

Miles kissed her, then gave Hope a tight hug. "I'll see you tomorrow," he cooed to her. "Be good," he added. It was so hard to let go of her little fingers.

Lola watched as Miles got in his car, a feeling of self-doubt creeping up her spine like a shiver. She kept trying to tell herself this was the right decision, the right thing to do as a parent. But as Miles backed out of her driveway and drove away, she couldn't help but feel very small and alone.

Lola's dad was of course ecstatic that she and Hope were back. He'd brought pretty much every kind of food possible from the cantina for dinner: empanadas, tamales, quesadillas, tacos, nachos, even churros for dessert.

"Oh, it's so good to have you home, Mija!" Mr. Pacini said. "Now, we were out of the beef tamales but I got some of those chicken ones you like, and—oh! I think we've got some salsa in the fridge if you want extra sauce. Sit, sit, you must be starving."

Lola couldn't help but giggle a little at her father's enthusiasm. "Actually, I uh, should probably feed Hope first."

Lola's dad nodded quickly, rummaging through the pantry. "Ah, por supuesto... what's the little one eating nowadays?"

Lola sat down at the table with Hope. "Well, she likes her baby cereal, little bits of cheese, most fruits... she'll even eat tofu sometimes," she said, reaching into the diaper bag and pulling out a blanket. "But of course I still have to breastfeed her."

Lola's mother came into the kitchen just then. She'd said hello to Miles earlier, her tone still pretty cold towards him, and helped Lola carry her things, but they hadn't really said much to each other. "You're nursing her still?" Mrs. Pacini frowned. "I weaned you by eleven months."

Lola tried not to grit her teeth. This was definitely going to be an adjustment being back here. "Okay well, _first off_ , that was a long time ago," she said, instinctively defensive. "Second, Hope's only nine months."

"And you're going to just do this during mealtime?"

"So!" Mr. Pacini interrupted. "Who wants nachos?"

"Me, obviously," Lola smiled at her dad. She took a deep breath before turning back to her mom. "Look, if this is going to work, I think we need to establish some... ground rules."

"Yes, your father and I were actually discussing Miles being in your room and—"

"No," Lola cut her off. "I mean, _I_ get to set some too."

Mrs. Pacini blinked. "You... what, now?"

Lola grabbed a sticky note from the counter behind her, still nursing Hope. "Rule number one," she jotted down. "No unsolicited advice about the way I'm raising Hope."

"Well, that's just—"

"Rule number two, Miles can visit any time, including nights and weekends."

"Now, Mija—"

"Rule number three, _knock_ before you come into my room," Lola said.

Mrs. Pacini turned to her husband, arms crossed. " _Jack_...?" she said, expecting him to say something to back her up.

Mr. Pacini finished fixing his plate before jumping into the conversation. It didn't exactly shock him that the two were already butting heads. He glanced at Lola's list. "Well, these are... I suppose they're not too unreasonable."

Lola smiled, barely able to hide her gloating. "See? _Thank you_ , Dad."

But Mr. Pacini held his hand up. "Now wait just a second," he said. "I'm not done yet. Just because you've been gone awhile doesn't mean you can just do whatever you want now, Mija. Chores after school. No talking back to your mother. Miles can come over _if_ you check with us first— and I want the door open when he's in your room. Comprende?"

Lola sighed. She supposed it was better than she'd expected. "Okaaaaay," she gave in, patting Hope on the back. The baby let out a giant burp, so loud it drowned out the Spanish pop song coming from the stereo.

Mr. Pacini couldn't help but laugh a bit. "Well. Welcome home, Mija."

... **Lola** went to get Hope ready for bed right after dinner. It was honestly so strange to be back in her bedroom like this, as if the last few months had just been a dream, as if she was just going to wake up tomorrow ready to put on her volleyball uniform and help her dad at the Cantina after school. But now of course things weren't the same. Home was irreparably different forever: Lola's mother was back and of course, Hope... well, _existed_. It was all a little overwhelming to think about sometimes, just how fast things had changed. If someone had shown grade nine Lola a glimpse into her near future, she would have called them cuckoo bananas.

Lola's father came in just as she was finishing changing Hope into her pajamas. It felt weird getting the baby ready for bed without Miles. "Knock knock," Mr. Pacini said. "You get settled in okay?"

"Mhm," Lola said, trying to smile as she lifted Hope off the changing table. "Um, can Fernando sleep in my bed tonight? I think he's okay around the baby now."

"Gahhh," Hope babbled, smiling at Mr. Pacini and reaching out towards him. Lola was glad the baby still seemed comfortable around the family, at least.

"Of course," Mr. Pacini said to Lola. He took Hope into his arms. "My. She's gotten heavy. Not so little anymore."

"Yeah... crazy, isn't it?" Lola said. "You remember that first night I brought her home from the hospital? She was so tiny she practically fit in the palm of your hand." She sighed. "I sort of miss those days."

"Mm. I know what you mean."

Lola took Hope back, laying her down in her new crib. The last time she'd slept here was back when she could still fit in a bassinet. "Um, thanks for the crib," Lola said. "You really didn't have to get us a new one."

"Oh. Actually, that wasn't me," Mr. Pacini said. "That was your mother's doing."

Lola froze. "What?"

"She bought it at some garage sale. Said there was no reason for you to worry about hauling over Hope's crib from the Hollingsworths'. Touched up the paint herself, too."

" _Mom_ did all that?"

"Mhmm. She did." Mr. Pacini paused. He sighed quietly. "I want things to be different between all of us this time, Lola."

Lola took a seat in her bed, the baby safely settled into her new crib and closing her tiny eyes. "Likewise." She was tempted to remind him that her stay would only be temporary, but she didn't want to hurt her dad's feelings. He'd pretty much let her move right back in as soon as she called, hardly any questions asked. "There's just... a lot to process still, you know?" Lola shrugged. "A lot's happened. Between... all of us."

"Yes, well," Mr. Pacini said, glancing over at Hope. "Just try and get along with your mother, will you?"

"I'll try my best."

Mr. Pacini nodded, too tired to push for more. "Well. Goodnight, Mija," he said. He flipped the light switch off, then flickered Lola's night-light on. "Sweet dreams."


	146. How it Feels

So I actually was intending for this chapter to go a completely different direction, but the dialogue just sort of wrote itself towards the end. Let me know what you think. I hope it's in character, sorry if there's been more fighting than usual lately...

 **How it Feels**

Ever since Lola and Hope moved out, things felt strange around the Hollingsworth house. Not quite right— like walking into a room only to find everything had been rearranged overnight.

Things felt especially off between the Hollingsworth siblings, particularly between the twins. Lola hadn't come right out and told Frankie that Hunter was the reason she'd moved out, but Frankie knew he was behind her sudden departure. Miles was barely speaking to him, Lola had unfollowed Hunter on all social media, and he seemed fidgety whenever someone mentioned Lola or Hope. Frankie had to admit it was kind of driving her nuts not being in the loop— she'd asked Lola multiple times what exactly happened between her and Hunter, but Lola just kept repeating the same old spiel about needing to do what was best for the baby. Miles had told Frankie to just mind her own business. And Hunter, well, he had barely come out of his room. His only visitor lately had been Baaz, and Frankie certainly wasn't about to ask _him_ for the scoop.

Honestly, it felt lonely around the house without Lola and Hope. Frankie didn't think she would ever miss the sound of baby cries at 2 a.m., but she kind of did. Having them move out so suddenly sort of made it feel like her dad had left all over again. It was just too quiet.

She decided to knock on Hunter's door one evening, something she hadn't done in awhile. "Hey," she said, not bothering waiting for him to answer. "Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing," Hunter mumbled. He was just sprawled out across his bed bouncing a rubber ball, the kind you got from gum-ball machines, at the ceiling over and over again.

"Wanna come to the track meet with me?"

"I'm busy." Hunter didn't even look at her.

Frankie hopped onto the edge of his bed. "No, you're not."

"Take the hint, Frankenstein."

Frankie opened her mouth to say something, but decided to just hop off the bed instead. She was used to bickering with Hunter, but geez. She thought maybe she'd be able to get through to him somehow, as his twin and all. Maybe she'd try texting Esme later, just to find out what exactly happened between them... or maybe not.

She was just about to go into her room to grab her purse when she heard a loud sighing noise from down the hall. "Miles...?" Frankie called. She tip-toed into the nursery where she thought she'd heard the noise coming from.

Miles was standing over Hope's empty crib, looking completely lost in his thoughts. He sighed loudly again, not even noticing his sister.

"Miles?" Frankie said quietly.

Miles quickly turned around. He shook his head, trying to get himself to snap out of whatever he'd been thinking. "Oh, um, hey," he muttered quickly.

Frankie walked over and awkwardly put a hand on his shoulder. "Uh, are you okay..?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Miles said, shaking her off. He clearly wasn't in much of a talking mood either.

Frankie was quiet for a second. "I miss them too, you know," she said. "It's funny... the first time Hope stayed overnight here, it drove me _crazy_. I couldn't sleep or do homework or anything with all that crying. I just wanted some peace and quiet." She sighed a little. "But now it feels _too_ quiet."

"No kidding," Miles said. Frankie just stood there quietly for a second. They weren't exactly the type of brother and sister to cry on each other's shoulders, but she still wanted to check on him and all. She hadn't seen him just standing over the crib all sad like this since... since almost a year ago when Lola had been considering adoption.

Miles finally peeled his eyes away from the crib. "I'm gonna go visit Hope," he said. "Make sure Hunter eats dinner, will you?"

... **Meanwhile,** Lola woke up late from a nap and bolted out of bed. 6:32– she'd laid Hope down in her crib for nap time, closed her eyes on the bed for just a second, and then completely slept through the whole afternoon. She was so used to having Miles come in and kiss her good morning, or smelling coffee from Mrs. H's kitchen, or waking up to the sound of Hunter's loud video games or Frankie's obnoxious music.

Lola nearly had a heart attack when she saw Hope's crib was empty. "Oh my god!" she shouted. "Ay dios mio... _DAD_!" She raced into the living room frantically, nearly tripping over one of Fernando's chew toys in the process. "Dad! Dad, where's—"

Lola caught her breath and let out a huge sigh of relief. " _There_ you are, baby!" she cried, scooping Hope out of her bouncy chair and covering her in kisses. " _Muah!"_ She turned to her father, who had just been sitting at the table nearby and reading the paper while dinner cooked on the stove. "Dad, you can't just take her out of her crib like that without me knowing! I thought she'd been kidnapped!"

Her father shrugged, looking startled. "Sorry, Mija. The little one was fussing and you seemed tired, so..."

Lola's mother came in the living room just then. "Oh good, you're finally awake," she said to Lola. She nodded towards the baby, adding, "We've been playing peek-a-boo with her for hours... I finally just put some Sesame Street on to get her to settle down."

Lola frowned. "I only let her watch a tiny bit of TV every week... the books all say—"

But Lola's mom just waved her off. "Oh, tonterías. We've done this before, remember?"

Lola was really tempted to say something in response, but decided she'd better just bite her tongue. Her dad _had_ asked that she try and get along with her mother. "Um..." Lola said, taking a seat on the couch with Hope. "I, um... Dad told me you picked out that crib yourself. Uh... thank you..."

"It's no problem," Mrs. Pacini muttered hurriedly. She looked just as uncomfortable. "Really."

Lola nodded awkwardly. The two of them were so used to arguing that just speaking to each other normally like this felt, well... _weird._

Fernando skipped into the living room and jumped up on the couch, suddenly landing in Lola's lap. "Fernando!" Lola cried, cradling Hope protectively. "You can't just pounce on me like that while I'm holding the baby," she tsked, like the dog understood a word of that.

But Hope didn't seem the least bit fazed. "Da-gah!" she squealed, reaching her tiny hands out towards the dog. _Doggy?_ _That was a new word—_ Lola made a mental note to text Miles about that later.

Fernando suddenly jumped off the couch again. He sprinted towards the front door, barking like crazy. Hope started to cry, wanting him to come back and play with her. So much for a quiet evening at the Pacini house.

Mr. Pacini followed Fernando to the front door, scolding the little dog to calm down. He froze as soon as he opened the door. "Oh, Miles! We weren't expecting you. Er... come in. Sit, sit. We have food."

Mrs. Pacini tsked. "Lola, why didn't you tell us you invited a guest for dinner?"

Miles tugged at his collar, a bit of sweat on his forehead as he took Hope into his arms. The baby stopped crying almost immediately at the sight of him. "Oh, erm, I was just dropping by. I already ate, actually."

Mr. Pacini set out another plate at the dinner table anyway. "Nonsense. You can always use more food."

Miles tried to smile. "Really, I'm fine." He turned to Lola. "Can I talk to you for a minute, Lo?"

Lola nodded. "Of course, baby." She set Hope in her bouncy chair and they went into her bedroom.

" _Ahem_!" Lola's dad coughed from the hall.

"Oh, right," Lola mumbled, opening the door. She rolled her eyes a little— as if not being allowed to have boys in her room had stopped her and Miles from making Hope. " _Sorry_ , Dad..." She took a seat on the bed and nodded at Miles. "So, what's up?"

Miles was pacing around the room, looking all shaky and stressed. "Lola, I don't like this."

"Like what..?"

" _This_. Being away from Hope."

"Miles, I told you," Lola sighed. "You've just gotta trust me on this."

"And I'm just supposed to be okay with only seeing my kid every couple of days now?" Miles snapped. "Lola, this isn't fair!"

"I can't move back, Miles!" Lola said, suddenly all worked up. "Okay? This isn't about what _I_ want or what _you_ want... it's about doing what's best for our baby!"

"What's best for her? Or what _you_ think is best for her?"

Lola went quiet for a second. "Why are you doing this?" she said. "Why are you picking a fight?"

Miles was still pacing around. "I don't want this to be how we raise our kid, Lo," he said. "Shifting her back and forth between houses... not letting her ever see my brother... having all this tension between our families..." He sighed. "I tried to be cool with this. But I'm just... not."

Lola just shook her head. "I... I don't know what to tell you, Miles. My hands are tied."

Miles finally took a seat next to her on the bed. His eyes were filled with exhaustion, the same look on his face that he'd had that first day he and Lola collided in the hallway. "This is just such a crap situation."

Lola sighed. "Yeah, well, you _did_ get me pregnant at sixteen..."

There was a knock on Lola's bedroom door just then. "I don't mean to interrupt," Mr. Pacini said. "But dinner is getting cold."

Miles stood up. "I'll get going then."

"No," Lola said right away, following them into the hallway. "Baby, come on. Stay for a little bit."

"I should check on my brother. Besides, I don't want to be a bother."

Mrs. Pacini cleared her throat from the kitchen. Lola hadn't even noticed her standing there listening. "I could make up the guest bed."

"Wait, what?" Lola said.

"Well, if Miles is going to be spending the night here so often now, he'll need a place to sleep," Mrs. Pacini shrugged, like it was obvious. "We can't have you two sleeping in the same bed, Mija," she added, tsking.

Miles and Lola just stared at each other for a second, both caught off guard. Lola's dad had always been super strict about overnight visits. And Lola's _mother_ , well, she'd hardly even let Miles in the house. The fact that she was even speaking to him came as a surprise. "Um, well, that would be—" Miles started.

"That'd be great," Lola said quickly. She let out a long sigh. "Come on, baby," she said to Miles. "Let's go eat dinner before it gets cold." She pushed him towards the dinner table and glanced back at her mom, mouthing, _Thank you._

It was all she could think to do.


	147. Certain Things

Thank you to everyone who's reviewing! I hope I still have some of my original readers left— I think this story is about a year old now, wow! Would you guys read a sequel eventually? Please let me know your thoughts! xx

 **Certain Things**

Lola woke up early the next morning with Miles sleeping next to her and cuddling with her, his arms wrapped around her waist like she was a teddy bear. He _definitely_ wasn't supposed to be in her bed like this, but after Hope woke them up for the third time in the middle of the night, they decided to just say "screw it" and crawl into Lola's bed together. Besides, Lola could probably sneak him into the guest room before her parents woke up.

Miles stirred awake. "Morning," he yawned, leaning in to give her a kiss.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Lola said. "Ew, you have morning breath," she added, giggling.

Miles shook his head. "So do you." He sat up on the bed. "Hope asleep still?"

"Yeah, but probably not for much longer. It's already—" Lola glanced at her phone. "7:30 a.m." She froze for a second.

"What's wrong?" Miles asked.

"Nothing, just... a lot of missed calls from Frankie." _7 missed calls, 2 voicemails_. Lola felt a little sense of panic at first that something could be seriously wrong. But then she remembered that Frankie once called her 13 times in a row because she couldn't decide what to wear on her date with Jonah. "Did she call you?" she asked Miles.

Miles reached for his cell. "Mm, nope. Just an oomfchat from Winston and a text from my brother asking if we're out of Cocoa Puffs." He looked down. "Um, Lo, I'm sorry for going off on you yesterday."

Lola shrugged quietly. "It's okay. I just... I wish I could fix things."

"Yeah," Miles sighed. "Same here." He was quiet for a minute, then added, "Did you want to call Frankie back real quick?"

"Nah, I can call her later," Lola shrugged. If Frankie hadn't called Miles too, then it probably wasn't anything serious. She reasoned that it was probably just some gossip about Jonah or a rant about her mom's boyfriend. Or maybe Baaz had finally worked up the guts to ask Frankie out. Lola would text her later— preferably when she wasn't lying in bed next to Frankie's very hot, very sleepy and stubbly brother. She planted another kiss on his cheek. "I love you," she whispered, holding his face. "Always."

"I love you too," Miles said, ruffling her hair.

Lola frowned. "You're supposed to say _and forever_."

"Huh?"

Lola sighed. "I take it you've never watched _One Tree Hill_."

Hope woke up and started crying before Miles could answer. "I got her," he said to Lola. He lifted Hope out of her crib. "Morning, baby," he cooed to her. "How's Daddy's girl?"

Lola giggled. "You're cute when you baby-talk."

"Mm. You're cute always," Miles winked. He handed Hope to her. "So, what's the plan for today? First official day of spring break."

"Probably chores," Lola sighed, cradling Hope in her arms. "My dad said he was gonna leave a long list for me to do over break. So much for vacation, huh?"

"Maybe I can help," Miles said. "I mean, I made a pretty decent busboy," he added.

"You wanna spend your spring break doing _chores_ with me?" Lola laughed. She cracked her door open and peaked into the hallway— good. The coast was clear. Her parents were probably still asleep.

Miles shrugged. "Beats spending time at home," he said, planting a kiss on her cheek.

After feeding Hope and getting dressed, Miles and Lola set outside to do the first thing on the list of chores: walk Fernando. They looked pretty cute, Lola had to admit: her pushing Hope along in her stroller and Miles sprinting in his loafers to keep up with Fernando on his leash. Yeah, this was nice— just her and her little family out for a morning stroll. Although the weather was a bit warm for her liking on an April morning, there was something about the whole atmosphere that just made Lola feel... _safe_. Even if she was still stressed as hell about the Hunter situation, her parents, the baby, the looming end of high school... she still felt good. Better than she had in awhile. She thought back to who she'd been just over a year-and-half ago, that scared little girl standing outside of Miles' classroom terrified at the idea of a baby. It was sort of a strange thought, but Lola almost wished she could go back in time and hug her sixteen-year-old self and show her a glimpse of this future moment just to assure her that everything was going to turn out alright.

"My heart feels so warm," Lola said to Miles, leaning into him as they walked.

Miles looked at her in confusion. "Uh? What do you mean?"

"I mean... I feel all warm and fuzzy. Like someone wrapped a big, cozy blanket around me." Lola giggled, blushing suddenly. She wasn't doing the greatest job of translating her Lola-speak to him, she realized. "What I mean is— I'm happy, Miles. Walking the dog with you, pushing Hope in her stroller like this... I'm happy."

Miles smiled for a second, his gaze lingering on Lola's sweet chocolate brown eyes, but then his expression turned serious again. "I'm happy too," he said, his serious facial expression not matching his words very well. "With you, I mean. But, I still feel like we're... trapped. I just want the three of us in one place again."

 _Don't start this again,_ Lola sighed to herself. _Don't ruin this little moment._ But she felt it too. "I know, Miles," Lola said. She lifted the baby out of the stroller as she started to get fussy again. "But I told you... I can't just move back."

"I've been looking through the yellow pages," Miles said. "For apartments and stuff. My dad gave me that trust so I could take care of Hope. Might be the only decent thing he's done." He sighed, glancing at the baby as Lola rocked her back and forth. "I wanna find us a home, Lo. Somewhere we can be an actual family."

Lola didn't say anything at first. "Wow, um..." She scratched her head.

"What?"

"Nothing. This is just so, um, _adultish_. Like, we're really doing this grownup thing."

"Mama," Hope cooed, sniffling a little. Like she was chiming in on the conversation.

"Well, we kind of have to," Miles shrugged, nodding at Hope. "I know we're not gonna find a place overnight, but I was thinking after your graduation, maybe." He gave her that shy, boyish smile she'd never been able to resist. "Think about it?"

Lola smiled. "Yeah," she said. "Of course. We can think about it."

Just then, Lola's cell rang again. She handed Hope to Miles so she could check the caller. "Franks _again_?" she muttered. She tried to pick up, but it was too late— Frankie had already hung up. "Humph."

"You want me to try her cell?" Miles offered.

"No, it's fine— let's just try and enjoy our walk," Lola said. She didn't want to ruin this moment by worrying so much over probably nothing. "Gosh, you and Hope look _so_ cute together. Lemme post a pic on Hastygram." She pulled up the app to take the picture, but then suddenly frowned.

"What is it?" Miles asked.

"Someone unfollowed me," Lola muttered.

"Huh?"

"Last night when I went to bed I had exactly 867 followers. This morning it's 866."

Miles tried not to laugh. "You keep track of that stuff?"

Lola was still checking her list of followers furiously. "I swear to god, if my cousin Moni blocked me again, I'm going to fly to Argentina and kick her little butt."

"Cousin _who_ now?" Miles said. Even after months of dating and raising a baby together, there was so much about Lola— and her family— that Miles had to learn still.

Lola waved him off. "Just one of my like, twenty cousins in Argentina. Six months older than me. She blocked me a couple of years ago cause we got into a stupid fight during the family Christmas party. But then she called me in the middle of the night last year and was all pissed I didn't tell her you knocked me up. Anyway, you'll... you'll meet her someday. At the wedding or something... _aaagh!_ " She nearly threw her phone to the ground in frustration. "I can't figure out who it is!"

Miles shook his head, not quite awake enough for the Lola Pacini antics hour. "Well, if you care that much, why don't you get Frankie or Shay to figure it out for you."

Lola froze.

"What?" Miles said.

"I— I know who it is." She typed in Shay's name, only to be greeted with _Hastygram user Shay_Powerzz has blocked you._


	148. Rumor Has It

**Rumor Has It**

Lola called Frankie back as soon as she could. She needed to get to the bottom of this— stat. "Shay _blocked_ me?" Lola cried. "How could she do that?"

"Good morning to you too," Frankie yawned. "I've been trying to call you, Lo."

"I know, I'm sorry. I was busy with, um..." Lola glanced at Miles, who was explaining something to Hope. _So, the cherry blossoms bloom every April,_ Lola overheard him say. Their baby's first spring, she realized, her heart melting a little.

"Yeah, I figured Miles slept over at your place," Frankie said, sounding like she'd rather talk about literally anything else. "Lo, did you even listen to any of my voicemails?"

"Ummm."

"That's what I thought," Frankie sighed. "Okay well, the deal is, Shay's pissed because you didn't go to her track meet last night. The biggest one of the season? You know, the one you _promised_ you would go to?"

 _Oh, crap. Crap, crap, crap!_ Lola couldn't believe she'd forgotten. She hadn't meant to flake, honest. She had just gotten so distracted with moving back into her parents' and taking care of Hope that it had completely slipped her mind. She felt absolutely rotten for it. But blocking her? Seriously? She and Shay had been friends for years— they'd even managed to survive that whole messy love triangle situation with Tiny. It seemed unreal that one track meet was what could break their friendship. _No, no way_. Lola had to fix this. "Ohmigod, I... I completely forgot," Lola cried to Frankie, a bit out of breath. "Where's Shay now?"

... **Later that morning,** Lola bundled Hope up in her car seat and had Miles drop them off at Degrassi.

"You sure you don't want me to take the baby for the rest of the morning?" Miles said.

"No, it's fine," Lola insisted. "You can watch her tomorrow when Hunter is over at Baaz's, right?"

"Yeah, I... I guess," Miles said. He still wasn't liking this whole "keep Hope away from Hunter forever" thing. "Lo, can we talk about—"

"I gotta go, baby," Lola interrupted, lifting Hope from her car seat. "We'll talk later, okay?" She stood on her tippy toes and planted a kiss on his cheek.

Miles just sighed. "Okay." It still felt weird saying goodbye to Hope, even just for a day. It reminded him a little too much of growing up with separated parents, something he definitely never wanted for Hope. He gave the baby a tight hug, savoring the feeling.

"Dada," Hope cooed softly, nuzzling against his chest. That would never get old.

After Miles left, Lola walked over to the track carrying Hope in her sling and rubbing her back to keep her happy. "Look at this, Hope," she said. "This is Mommy's school." She smiled, adding, "Maybe you'll go here someday too." Hope yawned.

It felt a little strange to be at one of these sports practices again, Lola had to admit. She was planning on playing volleyball again last year but the whole uh, baby thing had kind of made that impossible. Still, sometimes she missed being able to do things like play sports, go to dances, cheer at pep rallies.

Lola finally spotted Shay jogging just around the corner. "Shay!" she yelled, waving to get her attention. "SHAY!"

Shay stared at Lola for a second, looking less than excited to see her. "What are you doing here, Lo?" she said, stopping to catch her breath.

"I... Frankie said you'd be here."

"Well, you found me. Congrats." Shay started jogging again, muttering something under her breath.

"Wait!" Lola cried, trying to catch up to her. She tried to jog but it was nearly impossible with the baby. "I... I wanted to apologize. I'm really sorry I missed your track meet."

Shay kept on jogging. "Yeah. Okay."

"I'm _really, really_ sorry," Lola said, struggling to keep up. "I... I've just been really busy with the baby and—" She paused to catch her breath. "Um... how did the meet go? Did you win anything?"

Shay finally stopped running. "Did I _win_ anything? Lola, I blew it. I came in second to last. All the scouts saw."

Lola didn't even know what to say. She felt even worse now for missing it. "Shay, I'm... I'm so sorry."

Shay just shook her head, still barely looking at Lola. "Yeah, well, I can kiss my chances at a scholarship goodbye. So much for going to school near Tiny."

"There are other schools..."

"You don't get it, Lo!" Shay snapped. "I've been training my whole life for this. I mean, it's not like you're even _going_ to college."

 _Wow, okay._ Lola had to bite her tongue a little to avoid saying something she'd really regret. It was true— she hadn't even applied to university. But so what? It was her choice. She just wanted some time to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. And anyway, she could always go back and get her degree when Hope was older. "I get that you're upset, okay? And I feel really bad that I messed up. But still. You had to _block_ me? Over _one_ track meet?"

"It's not just that," Shay said. "You've been blowing me off forever. It's like, you only call me when you need a babysitter or something."

"That's not true!"

"Really? When's the last time we hung out, Lo?"

"I..." Lola tried to think. There was... wait, nope. Crap. "I've just been totally focused on the baby, okay? I'm sorry if I don't have time to hang out all the time anymore, but I have to put Hope first."

Shay just shook her head. "Well, you always seem to make plenty of time for Miles."

"That's... _different_ ," Lola said. "We're raising a baby together." Before she could stop herself, she found herself adding, "And besides, it's not like you didn't put _your_ boyfriend ahead of our friendship last year."

"What are you talking about?"

"I was always your second choice!" Lola said. "Girls' night ring a bell? I mean, the whole reason I even ended up in Miles' room that night was cause you ditched me for Tiny!" She glanced at Hope, who was starting to fuss a tiny bit. "I mean... not that I regret—"

Shay took a deep breath. "I have to get back to practice."

"So that's just it?" Lola cried. "You're not even going to try?" Hope started to cry.

Shay just shook her head. "I'm done trying, Lo." She sprinted off with the rest of her team, leaving Lola standing in the middle of the track holding a screaming baby and feeling more confused than ever. It was true what they said— best friend breakups _did_ hurt more than actual breakups.


	149. Friend in Me

So honestly a lot of my original readers probably aren't here anymore since the story has been going on for so long, but as long as it still gets views I'll keep writing cause it's still fun for me. Thank you to everyone who's stuck with this story for so long! I'll keep writing this one until around Hope's first birthday and then hopefully write a sequel if people would be down for that. Please keep reviewing xx

 **Friend in Me**

Miles picked up Hope from Lola's place bright and early the next morning. He drove the car over there a little faster than he should have— he was just so eager to see her already. He wondered how he had done this for the first few months of Hope's life, been okay with not seeing her for days at a time like this.

It was Lola's mother who answered the door. "Oh. Hello... Miles."

"Er, good morning, Mrs. Pacini." She was kind of studying him as he walked into the house, like she was still trying to form her opinion of him. It made Miles a little uneasy, but it wasn't exactly unexpected. He still wasn't her biggest fan (and vice versa, he assumed), but he was glad she and Lola were at least starting to get along a little.

Fernando sprinted down the hall and jumped on him excitedly, barking like crazy. "Fernando!" Mrs. Pacini tsked. " _Calm down_ , perro!"

"It's— it's okay," Miles said, smiling nervously at her as he petted the little dog. "I don't mind. Really."

Lola finally came out from her room, carrying Hope against her shoulder in a new little outfit. "Morning, baby," she smiled at him. "Look, Hope— Daddy's here!"

"Dada?" Hope squealed, reaching out towards Miles. She smiled and gurgled a little as he took her into his arms. "Bahhhh gooo gaga!"

"Hey there, princesa," Miles grinned.

"So, you know the drill," Lola said. She handed him the diaper bag, which was practically overflowing with toys. "Solid food two to three times a day, bottles the rest of the time. She usually naps around 4 and she'll probably want to crawl around a lot... your living room is still babyproofed, right? Oh! Is her teddy bear at your place? I was looking all over for it and—"

Lola's mom glanced over at them, shaking her head like she was amused. "Mija, you worry too much."

Lola just shook her head. "Okay, well, I'll see you tonight, angel," she said, planting a kiss on Hope's forehead.

"What are you going to do while we're gone?" Miles asked.

"Yael is dragging me to some gamer convention," Lola said, making a face. "They thought it'd be a good distraction from the Shay drama." She sighed, ruffling Hope's hair a little. "But I'm making them go to the mall with me afterwards," she added.

Miles chuckled. "Okay, well, have fun." He leaned in to kiss Lola, but her mom was staring, so he planted it on her cheek instead. He wondered if this would ever get less awkward.

By the time they got to the Hollingsworth house, Hope had fallen asleep. Rather than risk waking her up, Miles just carried her into the house still in the car seat. She rarely went down for a nap this early in the day and besides, she just looked so cute and peaceful.

Miles set Hope's carrier on the coffee table in front of him and pulled out his laptop to check his grades. He'd sort of rushed his creative writing assignment a couple of weeks ago— he'd tried to explain to his professor that he was dealing with his brother's car accident on top of a colicky baby, but the instructors at uni were far less understanding and willing to give extensions than Mr. Mitchell had been. So he'd turned in a short story about baby who grew too many teeth. Far from his best work, but hey, Hope was teething and he'd always heard you were supposed to write what you know. Plus, he still felt like it was decent.

When Miles logged into his school website though, he was greeted by something he'd never once encountered: a failing grade on a writing assignment. "A " _D"...?"_ he said under his breath, wanting to yell but trying not to wake Hope. Sure, it hadn't been his best story, but a " _D?"_ If it was any other subject, he wouldn't have cared. But writing had always been his thing, his talent, coping mechanism— something to latch onto during hard times. He was good enough to get into London Writer's Academy, but he couldn't even pass a stupid level 100 creative writing class at uni? _Shit._ Maybe he had been too distracted lately. But it was tough to balance academics and fatherhood. Whenever he focused on school, he felt guilty for not focusing on Hope. He felt so disconnected from his former Degrassi classmates on FaceRange who were posting their uni experiences of wild parties, trips abroad, and all kinds of crazy experiences. Not that he would trade Hope for anything, but... sometimes he felt like he had to grow up way too fast.

There was a loud knock on the door just then. Miles snapped out of his thoughts and sprang up from the couch to answer it, relieved it hadn't woken Hope up. _Sheesh, who was pounding on the door this early?_

"Oh... Chewy."

"That's it?" Winston said, letting himself in. "I haven't seen you since Christmas break and all I get is "oh, Chewy"?"

Miles sighed and gave him a small hug. He was still kind of pissed off, but it _was_ good to finally see Winston. "Sorry, it's just... this stupid creative writing assignment and—"

"Forget about it, man," Winston said, slapping him on the shoulder. "Today's for bro time."

Miles sighed again. "Yeah, well, see—"

 _Waaaaaaahhh!_

Miles rushed into the living room and grabbed Hope. "Hey," he cooed to her. "Hey. It's okay. Daddy's got you."

Winston groaned. "You got stuck babysitting?"

"When it's your kid, they call it parenting, Chewy."

Winston slumped onto the couch. "So much for seeing the new Marvel movie today."

"Come on," Miles said, cradling Hope. "We can still hang."

"Yeah. Right. What are we gonna do, play peek-a-boo?" Winston muttered.

Miles rolled his eyes at him. "Don't be a dick." Hope finally stopped crying, leaning into her dad and yawning. "Hey, Hope. Say hi to Uncle Chew."

"I swear to god, if you teach your kid to call me that..."

"Choo?" Hope babbled, looking at Winston curiously.

Winston raised his eyebrows, surprised to hear Hope's voice. He'd only met the baby once, at the Thanksgiving feast when she was just a couple of months old. "She talks now?"

"Yeah. Sort of," Miles grinned. "Here— try holding her."

Winston got all nervous. "Uhh, I don't know, Miles," he said. "I don't really... babies aren't really my thing—"

"Ahh, c'mon," Miles said. He set Hope in Winston's lap anyway.

Hope looked up at Winston, sucking her thumb. "Okay," Winston said, still shaking a little. "Okay, maybe this isn't too ba—"

 _WAAAAAHHHH!_

"—bad." Winston sat there in a panic as the baby kept wailing, her cries getting louder and louder. "Shit! What'd I _do_?"

Miles took Hope back and rocked her back and forth. She stopped crying almost immediately, clinging to her dad happily. "Don't take it personally," he chuckled. "She gets that way around strangers sometimes."

"Jesus. I've never heard anything scream so loud."

"Ahhh, she's pretty mellow most of the time," Miles shrugged. "She's just a baby, is all."

Winston just shook his head. "I can't believe this is your life now, man."

"What do you mean?"

"Just a couple of years ago, we were throwing ragers and smoking weed in your parents' pool. Now, you're taking care of a baby."

Miles sat down on the couch next to him. "Yeah, well," he said, stroking Hope's cheek. "It's not so bad. I'm happier now. At least I don't have to be stoned 24/7 to deal anymore."

Winston stared at Hope, studying the baby. She really did look a hell of a lot like Miles. Even though Miles sent him regular oomchats of her, Winston kind of almost forgot she existed sometimes. It was surreal, his best friend having a kid. It had weirded him out enough to see Miles taking care of Lola while she was pregnant last year. Now that he thought about it, he supposed it wasn't _too_ surprising that Miles had knocked up a girl in high school, given his number and all. It was just surprising to Winston that Miles actually seemed to enjoy being a dad. And that he was _engaged_. God. Miles _Hollingsworth_ was in a committed relationship with a baby. Seemed too bizarre to be true. "But don't you miss getting to do normal stuff?" he asked Miles. "Like dating and going to parties and traveling and...?"

"Sure, I do," Miles said. And he did miss getting to do those things sometimes, honestly. Having to cash in the Europe tickets from his grandparents to pay for baby stuff wasn't exactly awesome. But he didn't resent it or anything. "Yeah. I do. But Hope's worth it." He smiled at the baby, who was cooing happily again. _She was definitely a Hollingsworth— moody,_ Winston thought to himself. "Here, try holding her again," Miles said to him.

"I don't know," Winston frowned. "I don't think she really likes me," he added, laughing a little under his breath.

"Nah, she just didn't know you yet— c'mon," Miles insisted. "I swear, she's like, the best baby ever."

Winston just shook his head. "Okay, fine. I guess..."

Miles gently placed Hope in Winston's arms again, sitting close to the two of them. "There..."

Winston watched as Hope tugged at his shirt a little. "Man," he said to Miles. "She's like, a perfect mix of you and Lola."

"Yeah," Miles grinned. "But hopefully she turns out more like Lo."

"Is Lola still living here?"

"Ah, no..." Miles said. His face turned pale all of a sudden. He didn't feel like getting into the whole Hunter topic with Chewy, not right this second. "She thought it'd be better to stay with her dad. I don't know. I still see Hope almost every day, though."

"But you're still dating?"

"Engaged," Miles reminded him.

"Oh... right," Winston said. "God. That's wild." He scratched his head. "I always liked Lola better than Tristan, though. She's hot."

Miles rolled his eyes. "Shut up. She's mine."

Winston smirked. "Guess I've got more game than you now that you're off the market."

"Sure— keep telling yourself that," Miles laughed. He glanced over at Hope. "She likes it if you tickle her under her chin, you know."

"Huh?" Winston said. "Oh. Uh, okay..." He gently tickled her, still not having a clue what he was doing.

Hope giggled like crazy. "Chooo!" she squealed, smiling at Winston.

Winston smiled a tiny bit. "Hey, that was... that was kinda cute," he said to Miles.

Miles took her back into his arms and smiled. "Told you she was the best baby ever."


	150. Spring Break Blues, Part 1

150 chapters, holy cow! Thanks for the reviews and to all my readers who are still around. This chapter is Lola-centered, but part 2 will bring back some old characters and interactions... (hint: Fresme)

 **Spring Break Blues, Part 1**

The next afternoon, Lola stood over Hope's crib chatting with her. "See this, Hope? This is Argentina," she said, pointing to the Argentine flag she'd hung on the wall behind the baby's crib. "It's where we're from. Someday when you're older, I'll take you on a plane and we can go visit all your cousins and tios and tias. They're all _loco_ , but they're dying to meet you—"

Hope just yawned and tugged at her teddy bear, hardly listening to a word Lola said. But Lola kept going, "Cousin Moni is the craziest. Or maybe Tia Natalia. You'll see. Once when I was little, they—"

Lola stopped, realizing Hope was much more interested in her stuffed animal than anything her mom was saying. "Aren't you supposed to wait til you're older to ignore me?" she sighed. She tapped her fingers against the crib, still restless. "Come on," she tried one more time, "why don't you put your teddy down for one second and we can go play with—"

Hope immediately wailed as Lola grabbed the stuffed bear out of her little hands. "Okay, okay, fine," Lola said, handing the bear back. "You win..." She collapsed on her bed and sighed loudly again. Just a few months ago, she would have given anything to have a couple of minutes to herself. But now that Shay was freezing her out and her other friends were busy with their own plans, she found herself feeling kind of lonely, especially since she'd moved out of the Hollingsworths'. Although she felt weird about admitting it, she realized that maybe, subconsciously, part of the reason she'd kept the baby was to have that constant unconditional love, someone to always have by her side the way her own mother should have been. But, Lola knew that Hope was also her own little person— even as a baby, she was still an individual with her own thoughts and feelings. As exhausting as taking care of Hope could be, it was kind of a scary thought to Lola that one day her baby would grow up and not need her for everything anymore.

She pulled out her cell and browsed through her socials. Nothing too crazy... Zoe and Rasha had posted a new pic together on FaceRange. Frankie had finally deleted those cringy post-Jonah-breakup pics off her Hastygram. Winston was following her on Twitter now... and _hey_ , why was Tristan following Miles on Hastygram again? She clicked on her own Hastygram profile, scrolling through all her pics from over the years. The recent posts were mostly all of Hope, of course. But as she kept scrolling, she found a bunch of pics with Frankie and Shay. The three of them at the Snowball, their volleyball pics, that time in grade nine where they'd all trick-or-treated in their Power Cheer uniforms together to try and impress the senior guys. It felt like a punch to the gut looking at the memories now. Sure, Lola and Frankie were still tight, but... Shay was a vital piece of their squad. And as much as they'd had their share of fights and misunderstandings, Lola thought Shay would always be in her life. The thought of never speaking again... it hurt. A lot. She couldn't help feeling like someone else she loved had just taken off and left her.

And where did Shay get off being so high and mighty anyway? Like _she_ was such a perfect friend. She'd ditched the girls for Tiny more times than Lola could count and she'd held the whole "you dated my crush" thing over Lola's head _way_ longer than she should have. And then she'd expected Lola to just be happy for her and Tiny even though Lola had dated him for like, eight months. Plus, Shay had hardly even been there for Lola last year— unlike Yael or even Frankie, Shay had never shut down any of the awful comments Lola got in the halls every day. Deep down, Shay still judged her for getting pregnant. The more Lola thought about everything, the angier she got. She was so worked up that she started blubbering into her pillow like a baby. It was embarrassing, crying like this at seventeen, but she couldn't help it— sometimes the world just felt too mean. She had felt on top of the world just a few days ago, but now she felt like she'd been kicked to the ground.

"Lola? What's wrong?"

Lola looked up from her pillow and saw her mother standing in the doorway. _Great_. "Nothing," Lola tried, wiping her eyes.

Mrs. Pacini took a seat on the bed. " _Mija_."

"What," Lola mumbled, burying her face in her pillow again. She knew she was being immature, but she didn't feel like talking about this, not right now, and not with her _mother,_ of all people.

"What's the matter?" Mrs. Pacini said, putting her hand on Lola's back. Lola couldn't remember the last time her mom had done something like that.

"It's just..." Lola kept crying for a second, trying to catch her breath in between tears.

"Yes?" Mrs. Pacini said. She clearly wasn't going to just let this one go. She frowned. "Is it that white boy? I swear, if he made you cry like this—"

"What? _No_!" Lola finally sat up and faced her mom. "Miles didn't do anything. I... I had a fight with Shay."

"Shay...?"

 _Right, her mom wouldn't even know who that was_. "One of my best friends since grade nine," Lola explained.

"Oh." Mrs. Pacini was quiet for a second. This was still so new to the both of them, having a civil discussion. "What was the fight about?"

Lola sighed and glanced over at Hope, who was still just happily playing with her bear. "The baby," she said. "I mean, sort of. Shay thinks I don't have time to hang out anymore because I've been so focused on taking care of Hope. I was supposed to go to her track meet the other day and I just, like, completely spaced." She sighed again. "Shay doesn't get it. And I love Hope to death, but sometimes I... I really miss just being normal."

Mrs. Pacini nodded. "Well," she said quietly, gently squeezing Lola's shoulder, "as much as this... wasn't exactly... what I wanted for you— you _do_ seem to be doing a good job. With the baby, I mean."

Lola wiped her eyes. "Thanks, I guess," she said. "I don't really feel like it sometimes, though. She didn't even want to play with me this afternoon."

"That's normal, Mija. You did that too, sometimes," Mrs. Pacini said. "I remember the first day we dropped you off at kindergarten— you were so excited you just ran straight out of the car into the school. Didn't even look back to say goodbye to me. Broke my heart _un poco_."

"Sounds familiar," Lola mumbled. She scooted away a little, suddenly reminded of why she didn't feel like talking to her mom in the first place.

Mrs. Pacini shook her head. "Mija, I know we got off to a bad start. When I came back, I— I was so upset," she said, her voice quivering a bit. "I did what I thought was best. I thought I needed to be strict, lay down the law on you." She took a deep breath. "You've got to understand, Mija. It was _scary_ coming back and seeing that my daughter had a baby while I was gone. You were just a little child when I left... you're _still_ a child."

"I'm not a little kid anymore," Lola frowned.

Mrs. Pacini sighed, gazing at Hope again. "No," she said. "I suppose you're not."

"It was hard for me too, you know," Lola said. "Having you come back out of the blue like that. I mean, I'd _just_ had a baby. You know what it's like to be pregnant in high school? Not fun. And then you came back and just expected us to be like, this happy little family again, no questions asked."

"I know," Mrs. Pacini said. "I'm sorry. It wasn't fair, I know, Mija. But it was all I could think to do." She was quiet for a minute. "Do you think... do you think you'll ever forgive me for leaving you the way I did?"

Lola stared down at the floor. "I know you want me to say yes, but..." She climbed down from the bed and walked towards Hope's crib. "You leaving _really_ messed me up. I can barely let people in because of it. And I'm always afraid everyone is gonna leave me. It can't just... happen overnight."

Mrs. Pacini nodded. "That's... fair enough, I suppose." There was a look on her face Lola hardly recognized on her— sadness, pain.

Lola took a deep breath. "But," she said, lifting Hope out of her crib along with her teddy bear, "we can try."

Lola took a seat next to her mother back on the bed and passed Hope to her. "Go ahead," she nodded. "I um, I don't think I've ever really let you hold the baby before."

Mrs. Pacini smiled at Hope, gently stroking the baby's cheek. "Okay. Let's try, Mija."


	151. Spring Break Blues, Part 2

More of the multi-part chapter. This feels a little rushed, sorry, but I think it still has some good moments between everyone. Please leave a review if you can! xx

 **Spring Break Blues, Part 2**

"Okay... you've got your teddy, your pacifier, your blocks, your blanket, your rattle, your—"

"Geez," Miles chuckled as he watched Lola set Hope up in her crib. "Is this a cantina or a daycare?"

Lola shook her head. "I just wanna make sure she doesn't get bored being here all day," she insisted. She planted a kiss on Hope's forehead, then turned to Miles. "Thanks for helping me and my dad out this afternoon. We're really short-staffed and... gosh, I haven't even waited tables since before Hope was born."

"Sure," Miles grinned. "I always liked being a busboy— even if I can't pronounce half the menu items."

"Just another reason why I'm teaching our daughter Spanish," Lola sighed, smiling cutely. "Okay, you clean table four and I'll get these nachos to table six."

"You got it," Miles said, rushing off to get to work.

"Um, hey, Lola?"

Lola spun around. "Saad! You made it!" she said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Thank god. _Everyone_ is calling in sick this week. Lautaro claims he has the flu, but I think he's drinking margaritas in Cancun."

Hope squealed at Saad from her crib, smiling like crazy. He definitely seemed to be her favorite waiter; she always perked up around him. Lola figured it was probaby because Saad was so good with little kids. Or just because Saad was, well, Saad.

Saad smiled back at Hope. "Yeah, well, see," he said to Lola, "the only thing is that I kinda had to bring—"

Suddenly, two little voices came cheering behind them. "Look! The _baby's_ here!" one of them squealed excitedly. "I wanna see!" the other yelled.

Lola turned around to see two of Saad's youngest siblings, Aimar and Sonia, rushing over to Hope's crib. Lola hadn't seen them since her and Miles' disastrous babysitting fiasco last spring just before Hope was born. They'd both gotten much taller and looked older, but still had as much energy as Lola remembered. "Oh! Hi!" Lola said, surprised but happy to see the kids.

"Sorry," Saad said, looking a little embarrassed. "I didn't really have a choice. Abra is busy and my parents had to take Elias to his checkup."

"Don't worry about it," Lola assured him. If anyone understood this type of thing, it was her. "We're crazy packed here today, but we'll find something for them to do... maybe they can help me keep the baby entertained." She carefully lifted Hope out from her crib. "Hey, guys," she smiled at the kids, cradling the baby protectively. "This is Hope."

Aimar looked at Hope curiously. "How old is she?"

"Just over nine months," Lola smiled, trying to keep Hope from squirming so much.

"I'm _so_ glad you had a girl," Sonia said.

"How old are _you_?" Aimar asked.

"Seventeen.."

" _Seventeen_?" Aimar cried. "That's the same age as my brother! Saad, why don't _you_ have a baby?"

Lola and Saad made eye contact and each let out a half-chuckle, half-sigh. This was going to be a long afternoon.

 **... Meanwhile** at the Hollingsworth house, Frankie was in the middle of Skyping with Shay. They'd been talking for over an hour now and she had to admit she was starting to get tired of hearing Shay go on and on about Lola. Frankie had felt awkward enough being caught in the middle of them when the whole Tiny drama happened last year and she wasn't particularly eager to revisit a similar mess.

"Lola just doesn't get it," Shay was still ranting. "I've been working my whole life for this scholarship."

"Mmm."

"And she couldn't even make time for _one_ track meet!"

There was a loud noise coming from the other room. "Huh? Oh, yeah..." Frankie said to Shay, half-distracted with trying to figure out what that noise was. _Wait._ "I'll call you back, Shay."

Frankie closed her laptop and walked down the hallway, following the noise to Hunter's room. "Hunter!" she shouted. "What are you _doing_?"

Hunter was standing in the middle of his bedroom, punching the shit out of his gaming system. His face was red and his hands were shaking so hard as he hobbled on his crutches. It had been awhile since Frankie had seen him like this; it caught her kind off guard... and it scared her a little. She rushed over and grabbed the gaming system before he could do any further damage to it. He loved that thing; it was his prized possession.

Hunter glared at Frankie for a second, eyes still filled with rage. But then he turned around and collapsed on his bed, burying his face in his hands. "Oh my god," he groaned, snapping out of his trance. "What the fuck is wrong with me, Frankie..."

Frankie cautiously took a seat next to him. "Hey, it's— it's okay," she said calmly. "What's the matter?"

Hunter looked down at the floor. "I just feel so fucking useless. All I'm doing is messing things up for everyone. I couldn't even—" He paused, looking like he wanted to add something else, but couldn't quite muster the nerve to do so.

"What?" Frankie said. "Is this about Lola? I don't know what happened between you guys, but—"

"No. I mean... that, too, but..." He sighed. "Frankie, if I tell you something..."

"Anything," Frankie assured him. She squeezed his hand gently.

"Um... you know when I went to see Esme the other week?"

Frankie nodded.

"Well, the reason she broke up with me... the reason I crashed the car..." Hunter sighed. "On the day of the accident, I saw these bruises on her wrist." He gulped. "Her dad's been hitting her. And when I went over to her house last week, he kicked the shit out of me and told me to stay away."

Frankie just sat there frozen for a second, kind of at a loss with what to do with all of that information. "Oh my god," she cried. She got off the bed and started pacing around the room frantically. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god—"

"Please quit saying that," Hunter muttered.

Frankie stopped and tried to compose herself. "Okay," she said. "Okay, you know what? I'm gonna fix this."

"Frankie, how—"

"I just... I know Esme. At least... I think I do. And I think I know how to help her."

"Frankie, you can't just—"

"Hunter." Frankie took a deep breath. She and Esme weren't exactly close anymore and Frankie hadn't always been the most reliable friend in the past... but she cared about her still. And Frankie wanted to help. She needed to. Not just for Hunter's sake, but for Esme's too. "Just trust me."

 **... Back** at the cantina, Miles watched from the corner as Saad and the kids played with Hope. Lunchtime was over, so business had slowed down a little and they all had time to breathe for a second.

Saad was chasing his siblings around in the back of the cantina playing that tickle monster game they loved.

"Eeeeek!" Sonia shrieked.

"Eeeee!" Hope imitated her from her crib, banging her rattle. Saad picked her up and tickled her, making all three kids laugh like crazy.

Lola tapped Miles on the shoulder. "Hey, broody!" she said, noticing his frown. She leaned in his chest, like a puppy wanting attention. "What's up?"

Miles tried to smile "Ah, nothing," he said. He kissed her on the forehead. "Just busy around here is all." He glanced back at Saad and Hope again, stifling back a sigh.

Lola paused for a second, glancing back and forth between Miles and Saad. "Miles."

"Huh?"

Lola smiled at him teasingly. "You're _jealous_."

"What?" Miles scoffed, his eyes still glued to Hope. "Of _what_?"

Lola shook her head. "So what if Hope likes Saad? He's good with kids."

Miles stared at her. "That's... I'm not..."

Saad walked over and interrupted just then. "Hey," he said, handing Hope to Lola. The baby was just starting to fuss a little. "I think she's getting hungry."

"Oops— probably," Lola said, cradling the restless baby. "Thanks, Saad," she smiled. "You're so good with her."

"Aha... no problem," Saad said. He and Lola smiled at each other for a second, their gaze lingering.

There was a loud noise. "Aimar!" Saad shouted. "Don't touch that!" He ran off to go keep his siblings out of trouble.

Miles just shook his head at Lola.

"God, _what_?" Lola cried, almost laughing.

"Nothing," Miles said. He debated biting his tongue for a minute, but then gave in and added, "You know, your Dad's not paying you to stare at the busboy all day."

Lola scoffed. "First of all, he's not paying me for today at all," she said, bouncing Hope against her shoulder. "And second... what has gotten _into_ you?"

Miles sighed, still glancing at Saad out of the corner of his eye. "I just..."

"You just what?" Lola said, annoyed. She was far from being amused anymore.

Miles paused for a second, glancing back and forth between Lola and Saad. He shook his head, trying to get himself to snap out of it. "I'm sorry," he said finally. "You're right... I'm just being stupid."

Lola just sighed. "Would it kill you to make an effort with Saad?" she said. "Miles, come on. He works for my family. And he's my friend. It'd be so much easier for me if you two could just get along."

Miles knew Lola was right. He had been acting childish. But could she blame him, really? Considering the history between the three of them? Still, he knew that if he wanted to stay in Lola's good graces, he should at least try to be nice to Saad. "Okay," he finally said. "I'll try."

Lola let out a small sigh of relief. "Thank you," she muttered, relaxing her face a bit. She leaned into him again, Hope in between them. "But for the record," she whispered, "you're the only busboy I've got my eye on."


	152. Spring Break Blues, Part 3

**Spring Break Blues, Part 3**

The next morning, Lola sat on the couch and watched as Hope and Fernando chased each other around the living room. It had made Lola nervous to see them play together at first, but it quickly became a good way to keep Hope busy. You could definitely tell there was a baby in the house— when Hope was a newborn, there was relatively little clutter around, but now that she was active and crawling, the living room, kitchen, and hallway were all scattered with baby stuff: toys, blankets, baby gates, bottles, you name it.

"Ay dios mio! Mija! This place is a mess!" Mrs. Pacini cried, walking in with bags from the market.

"Oh, um, sorry," Lola said. "Do you want me to put Hope in her playpen so I can clean up?"

Mrs. Pacini glanced at the baby, who was crawling away with one of Fernando's toys and squealing happily. "No... that's... alright," she muttered, her expression softening as she watched Hope. "Just get it done later, yes?" She went back to putting groceries away, even humming a little as she did so. Lola thought she even saw her smiling a tiny bit.

Lola watched Hope closely, suddenly a little apprehensive. "Do you think I should be worried that she's not pulling herself up on the furniture yet?" she sighed aloud. "The pediatrician says it's normal, but..."

"Babies all develop at their own speed, Lola," Mrs. Pacini said from the kitchen. "You didn't pull up to stand until you were almost a year old."

"Really?" Lola said. It was kind of strange to talk like this, to be reminded that she'd had a mother around for half of her childhood.

"Mhmm."

Now that Lola and her mother weren't constantly at each other's throats, Mrs. Pacini seemed to have warmed up to having the baby around. Lola was still being cautious, but she'd let her mother help spoon-feed Hope and give her baths. One night when Lola was getting ready for bed, she even overheard her mom reading to Hope. Of course, neither of them acknowledged it the next morning— Lola still wasn't as comfortable with her mother as she was with father. But still. Things seemed to be changing for the better.

Hope crawled up to Lola, Fernando trailing behind her panting. Hope could wear even the dog out. "Mama!" she squealed happily.

Lola scooped Hope into her arms. "Come here, Mija," she smiled. "How's my girl? You look _so_ adorable in that new outfit Daddy bought you. Yes you _do—"_

Lola's phone rang just then. "Hey, Franks."

"Lo! I need a favor," Frankie said.

"Yeah, what's up?" Lola asked, rocking Hope back and forth.

"I need you to distract Miles for a few hours."

Lola almost laughed. "Well, _that_ ' _s_ easy," she said. "But wait, what for?"

"He's decided we haven't spent enough "sibling time" together lately," Frankie sighed. "But I... have to take care of something. And I don't want him knowing about it."

"'Take care of something'? Please tell me this isn't another pregnancy scare."

"God, _no_. I..." Frankie paused. "I'm going to rescue Esme," she blurted out suddenly.

Lola sat up. Of all the things that could have come out of Frankie's mouth, she wasn't expecting to hear _that_. "I'm sorry... _rescue_?" she said, handing Hope her teddy. "From what? And... how?"

"It's too long to explain over the phone," Frankie said. "I'll tell you everything later, promise. Just... distract Miles for a few hours? Please?"

Lola sighed. Frankie's ideas were rarely well-thought out, but Lola also knew Frankie wouldn't be doing this if she didn't have a good reason. Besides, any excuse to spend time with Miles was a good excuse. "Okay, fine. I'll get him to come to my place or something."

"Ahh, thank you, thank you, _thank you_!" Frankie squealed. "Did I mention you're the best friend ever?"

"Ha. Tell that to Shay."

... **Frankie** knew this was a crazy idea, even for her. Stealing the emergency credit card, taking her family's old private jet... she might as well have just put her entire life on the line. If her mom found out before Frankie got a chance to replace the money, she would be grounded for life. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

Frankie got the idea from a conversation she'd had with Esme last year. They'd been hanging out by the poolside, Zig having gone in the house to fetch them drinks. Esme was, as usual, worrying about Zig paying too much attention to Maya lately. "Ugh," she'd said. "You're _so_ lucky your family has a private jet. If I had one, I'd just fly away from all my problems."

At the time, Frankie had almost been a little insulted by that— like all of her problems were pedestrian and could be solved by her rich daddy. But now, it seemed like a good excuse to get Esme out of the house. To get her to _talk,_ at least. And Frankie seemed to be one of the few people that could reach her, even when she didn't want to be reached. At least, she hoped that was still true.

"That house over there," Frankie told the pilot. She wasn't entirely sure this was even legal, to be honest.

The family pilot narrowed her eyes on her. "You _sure_ you have your Mom's permission? Your family hasn't used the plane in quite awhile."

"Yeah, yeah, I've got permission," Frankie fibbed nervously. "There. Across the street right there!"

... **Lola** put Hope in her high-chair and took a seat next to Miles at the table.

"So this was your big "emergency?"" Miles said, laughing in confusion. "Lunch?"

"Well, just look at all this food!" Lola cried, gesturing to the plates of leftover food from the cantina she'd set on the table. "I couldn't _possibly_ eat all these tacos by myself!"

"I beg to differ," Miles snorted. "Remember when you made me bring you three burritos in a row? You said one for dinner, one for dessert, and one for a snack."

"That's different," Lola scoffed. "I was like, eight months pregnant. So technically half the food was for Hope."

Lola's parents walked in just then. "Oh, hola, Miles," Mr. Pacini said, surprised to see him.

"I didn't realize you were coming for lunch," Mrs. Pacini added.

"Neither did I," Miles said.

"Any chance we could get you to come back as a busboy?" Mr. Pacini chuckled, taking a seat near Hope. "You did a good job the other day. Well, other than breaking that one glass, but..."

"Aaaabo!" Hope said from her high-chair, smiling at Mr. Pacini.

"I think she's trying to say _abuelo_ ," Lola giggled. "I've been doing a lot of Spanish flash cards with her lately."

"Do you speak any, Miles?" Mrs. Pacini asked. She studied him as he ate, like she was still trying to figure out what exactly she thought of him.

Miles couldn't help but feel like he was under a microscope. Considering their first "meet the parents" dinner months ago hadn't exactly gone spectacularly, he was nervous just sitting with Lola's parents like this, especially her mother. "Er, no," he admitted. "I mean... I tried to learn some from this app on my phone, but..."

"Well," Mrs. Pacini interrupted. "As long as our granddaughter learns her Spanish. I won't have her not knowing our culture."

"Are you kidding? Tio Tony would _murder_ me if I didn't raise Hope Argentinian," Lola laughed. "And so would all twenty cousins."

Miles chuckled politely, but felt a bead of sweat drip down his forehead. Even after all this time, there was still so much about Lola's world he felt clueless about: her family back in Argentina, her mother, her family traditions. Hell, he couldn't even pronounce half the menu items at the cantina. He felt nervous all of a sudden at the thought of having to meet those twenty— _twenty?_?— cousins at the wedding someday, all of them probably already judging him. The Hollingsworth clan was certainly a bit fucked up, but at least Miles knew them well enough to know what to expect of them. Now it was like he had to become a part of this whole other family. And if this was an exam, he wasn't quite sure he'd pass.

"Miles? Miles!"

Miles snapped out of his trance at the sound of Lola's voice. "Huh?"

Lola shook her head. "Pass me the salsa, silly."

... **Frankie** sat next to Esme as the plane took off, handing her a drink and waiting for her to say something. Esme had hardly said a word since getting on the jet— she'd just walked up and down the aisles inspecting everything, as if trying to grapple with the fact that this was really how Hollingsworth kids lived. At least, how they used to before all the shit with their dad hit the fan.

"Okay, when you said this was an emergency, I didn't expect it to be 'private jet emergency,'" Esme finally said. "I mean, my dad's got money too, but _geez_. You Hollingsworths are something else. I guess Miles wasn't kidding about the golden toilet seats you had."

"The... what now?" Frankie said.

"Never mind," Esme sighed, taking a sip of her drink. "So, what's this really about?"

"I can't just want to spend time with my friends?" Frankie tried, smiling weakly.

"We're friends now?" Esme raised her eyebrow, unconvinced. "You said differently after I left you in the woods last year."

"That was... a long time ago," Frankie said. And truthfully, she had gotten over it by now. She wasn't sure whether she really considered Esme an actual friend, but she wouldn't be here if she didn't care. "Look, Shay's got Tiny and track, Lola's got Miles and the baby..."

"So I'm your new hobby."

"What? No!" Frankie said. "I just—"

Esme smirked, waiting for Frankie to ease her expression. They stared at each other for a second. Then, they both started cracking up. "Relax, I'm only messing with you," Esme said. "Gosh, maybe _has_ been awhile— your Esme sarcasm radar is practically nonexistent now." She paused. "Um. Thanks for getting me out of the house, I guess. It'd be a pity to stay in _all_ of spring break. And this jet is pretty cool, to be honest."

"Sure," Frankie said, attempting to smile. She took a sip of drink, trying to think of what to say next. She knew she needed to steer the conversation towards Esme's dad somehow. "You know, it's crazy... last time I was on this jet was my fifteenth birthday. I just wanted to escape... I really needed to get away from my dad."

Esme went quiet all of a sudden. "Yeah," she mumbled, staring out the window.

Frankie sighed. This wasn't going to be as easy as she thought. "So..."

"How's Hunter?" Esme said.

"He's fine," Frankie said quickly. Not exactly true, but she didn't come here to discuss her brother. "Esme, look, I—"

"Seems like he took the breakup pretty hard."

"Yeah, I guess. But, Esme—"

"You'd think the guy had never been dumped before."

"Esme!" Frankie finally shouted. She took a deep breath. "I know about your dad."

Esme stared at Frankie for a long second. Her face turned pale in a way that Frankie had never seen before and for a minute, she looked like she was going to be sick. "Can we stop the plane?" Esme said. "I'm not feeling well all of a sudden."

"Esme," Frankie sighed. "Look. I know it's not my business. But I understand what you're going through!"

"You don't know _anything_ about what I'm going through, Frankie!" Esme snapped.

"Yes, I do!" Frankie insisted. "You remember why Miles took those pills with you in the first place? Because our dad was... he was _abusive_ , okay?" She took a deep breath, flustered. She'd never referred to her father as that before, even though she knew he had earned the title. "Esme, please," Frankie pleaded. "I don't want you to go through the same thing. Please. Let me and Hunter help you."

Esme didn't answer for a long time. She just stared down at the floor, twirling her straw back and forth around her drink. She let out a long breath. "What did you have in mind?"


	153. Spring Break Blues, Part 4

Last part of the multi-chapter... I know the private jet thing was a little over the top, but it was inspired by the s14 episode where Frankie escapes her birthday party on the private jet with Winston. I'll get back to some baby plots soon as well as the Shay drama, school stuff, and bringing back a couple more characters... please keep reviewing and let me know what you'd like to see next! This chapter is kind of all over the place honestly xx

 **Spring Break Blues, Part 4**

"So, not to be obvious, but... why the jet? I mean, couldn't you have just ubered? Or do you Hollingsworth's _always_ travel like this?"

" _No_ ," Frankie said. "I just... I needed a way to get your attention. And it's a part of the plan."

Esme still looked skeptical. "Which is...?"

"Okay, so," Frankie said. She took a deep breath. "My parents have this old timeshare over by Niagra Falls. We haven't used it in years. It's a couple of hours away, but we could hide you there for a few days, maybe even a few weeks..."

Esme sighed. "Frankie, that's... _nice_ and all," she said. "But I have younger siblings, remember? I can't just ditch them."

"We'll figure that part out," Frankie said. "Maybe we can fly them there too... we just need to get you away from your dad first." She sighed. "Trust me, Esme. You've gotta get out of that house."

"Frankie, this won't solve anything."

"Well, do you have a _better_ idea?"

Esme stared out the window for a minute, pondering. "Okay, fine. Maybe just for a couple of days."

"Yes! Okay! Okay, good!" Frankie squealed. She was probably a little too eager, she realized, embarrassed. Even though these weren't exactly ideal circumstances... she had to admit, she'd missed hanging out with Esme. Even getting into trouble with her. It brought out a side of herself that she actually sort of _liked_ for once, something she didn't necessarily feel when she was just lying around gossiping with Lola and Shay about boy drama.

Esme raised her brow. "This is one of your craziest schemes, you know that?"

Frankie sipped her drink. "What can I say?" she shrugged. "I learned from you."

... **Lola** was pleasantly surprised at how lunch was going. Her mother hadn't been rude to Miles, her father hadn't told any embarrassing stories, and even Hope was behaving nicely.

"So, how's university going, Miles?" Mr. Pacini asked.

"Um, it's fine," Miles said. He looked a little nervous, though Lola wasn't sure why. "Studying English."

"Hmm," Mrs. Pacini muttered.

"And Lola?" Mr. Pacini said, turning to his daughter. "School going okay still?"

"Yeah, it's alright," Lola shrugged. She sighed, adding, "Can't believe I'm graduating in just a couple of months. Well, actually, I can't believe I'm graduating at all, honestly."

"Have you heard back on university apps yet?" Mr. Pacini said.

Lola's expression quickly changed. "Oh, um," she she said, glancing at Miles. "I... I didn't apply." She hadn't mentioned it to her father, but she didn't think it was a big deal or anything. It wasn't like when she almost dropped out of Degrassi... this just wasn't what she wanted, not right now. Besides, it wasn't like they had the money for that anyway.

"What?" Mr. Pacini said, looking startled. "Why not, Mija?"

"Well, for one thing, Hope is still really little," Lola said, fumbling her fingers through her hair nervously. "And it's really expensive— way more than we can afford. Besides, I can always go back to school when things calm down a bit. I thought I'd take some time off, maybe work at the Cantina?" She squeezed Miles' hand for reassurance. He smiled softly at her and squeezed back.

Mr. Pacini didn't say anything for a second. "Well, I... I suppose that makes sense," he sighed. "But you know, when your mother and I moved here, we always thought it would be a chance to give you a better life. You could have at least _applied_."

"Neither of you went to uni," Lola pointed out, scoffing a little as she sliced her tamales. "And you're doing just fine."

"That's different," Mr. Pacini tried to reason. "It was a different time. And we had a lot on our plates—"

"Immigrating here wasn't easy," Mrs. Pacini nodded. "And it was _expensive_. Between getting pregnant with you and then the wedding..."

Lola nearly choked on her food. _Had she heard that right?_ "Hold on— did you say 'and _then_ the wedding?'" She raised her brow. "In that order?"

Mrs. Pacini turned red. "Umm," she stammered. "Er. What I meant, was..."

"She meant the wedding and _then_ getting pregnant with you," Mr. Pacini jumped in quickly. "Right, Victoria?"

"Erhm, right," Mrs. Pacini muttered.

Lola didn't budge. "Because it sounded like—"

Mr. Pacini cleared his throat. "Eat your food before it gets cold, Mija. Miles, do you want seconds?"

... **Frankie** and Esme hadn't talked much for the past hour. Even though they had spent nearly every day together last year, they didn't quite know how to talk to each other now. Like they had to remember how their dynamic worked. Plus, there was just _so_ much that had happened between the two of them since they were friends. So much had changed. And yet, Frankie still felt okay— almost comfortable, even— around Esme in a way that she couldn't explain. Even in the midst of all this craziness.

Frankie finally looked up from her magazine and figured it wouldn't hurt to try and strike conversation again. "So... how's uni going?" she said. "You're still going to UT with Miles, right?"

"Mmhm," Esme said, barely looking up from her phone. She sipped her drink. "He could use a tutor in creative writing, by the way. His latest stories are even worse than that play."

Frankie just shook her head. "Um... how are your siblings?"

"Fine."

"How's—"

"Frankie." Esme finally made eye contact, taking her sunglasses off. "You don't have to make small talk."

Frankie shrugged, a little caught off guard. "I'm just trying to be nice."

"You're doing more than enough already."

"Fine," Frankie muttered, cheeks turning pink. She stared out her window, slightly embarrassed to have been trying so hard. She wondered for a second why she was even doing this, why she even bothered to care about Esme still.

They were both silent for a few minutes until Esme finally spoke up. "Look. I don't mean to be a bitch, I'm sorry." She sighed. "But I'm not used to people doing things for me like this... I don't wanna be your charity case, you know?"

"What? Esme, no. That's not why—"

"I mean, why _should_ you care about me?" Esme continued. "I was pretty awful to you. You said so yourself."

"I... I don't care," Frankie said. "I just..." She sighed. "I don't wanna see you go through the same thing Miles did. I didn't help him. And I... I don't wanna make that mistake again."

"I'm not Miles, Frankie."

"No, but..." Frankie sighed again. "I just don't want to see you get hurt, okay? Neither does Hunter. And I... I forgive you for all that stuff in the woods."

Esme stared out the window again. "Then I guess I can forgive you too."

"Forgive _me_? Wait, for _what_?"

"Oh, come on. You know what you did."

Frankie crossed her arms. "I don't think I do."

Esme rolled her eyes. "Zig ring a bell?" she said. "You hopped on him the second I was gone."

Frankie felt her face turn red. She wished she could erase those couple months with Zig out of her mind permanently. She hated to think that was how she'd lost her virginity— all she had to show from that "relationship" was a broken heart, a pregnancy scare, and a case of chlamydia. "Oh," was all she could manage.

"I mean, I know I was the one who messed things up between all of us," Esme sighed. "But it still hurt, you know?"

"I'm sorry... really," Frankie said quickly. "Trust me, if I could like, un-date Zig I would. I really would."

Esme studied Frankie for a second, like she was trying to see if she was sincere. She pursed her lips and nodded slowly. "Okay."

The pilot called for their attention just then. "Ladies? We're almost landed."

... **Miles** couldn't help but feel awkward. He was more than used to family dysfunction, but he wasn't exactly used to handling Lola's family. In fact, aside from working for her dad at the Cantina for a couple of months, he didn't think he'd spent more than a few minutes around her parents.

He glanced at Lola. She didn't even look mad or upset or anything— just... _amused_ , almost. "So," Lola said. "Looks like I'm not the only one who broke tradition..."

Mr. Pacini sighed long and hard. "Look, Mija— we... we were much older than you. We were in our twenties."

"We got married as soon as we knew," Mrs. Pacini added quickly. She paused. "But alright, fine. If you must know— yes, you were, um... a _surprise_ baby."

Lola couldn't keep from laughing. "Wow. Well, isn't _that_ interesting." She went back to slicing her food, humming cheerfully under her breath. Miles felt like disappearing from the table.

"But we got married right away!" Mr. Pacini added. "And again, we were _grown-ups_."

"Mhmmm," Lola said, still grinning a little. Hope squealed from her high-chair. "Well. Then you should have no problem with me and Miles getting married," she smiled. "After all, it's what _you_ did, right?"

Mr. Pacini groaned. "Mija, not this again..."

"Yeah. Lo," Miles nudged her. He wasn't in the mood.

Mrs. Pacini sighed. Miles couldn't quite read her expression— he still felt uneasy every time she so much as glanced at him. Though he supposed be couldn't blame her; all she really knew about him was that he got her daughter pregnant. Still though, he wanted Lola's parents to like him. He didn't want him and Lola to get married just to spite them or prove a point. He wanted Lola's parents to actually approve.

"Why don't you just focus on finishing high school first, Mija..." Mrs. Pacini said, her voice a bit short.

"You know, it's getting pretty late," Miles said, getting up. "I should probably head home and check in on Hunter."

"Already?" Lola frowned. She glanced at her cell to check the time. "Nooo, not yet. Just stay for dessert? Please?" She leaned into him, batting her lashes.

"I dunno, Lola, I —"

"Dada?" Hope whimpered from her high-chair.

Miles glanced over at Hope, who was giving him the most irresistible puppy dog eyes. The thought of being away from her for another night hit him hard suddenly, like a lump planted in his throat. "Okay," he agreed. He scooped Hope into his lap. "What's another few minutes?"


	154. Unfinished Business, Part 1

Taking a break from the Esme stuff to bring back some old characters and plot points I was missing. Was gonna post a really long chapter but decided to split it into two parts instead xx

 **Unfinished Business, Part 1**

Now that spring break was over, Miles and Lola were busy getting settled into their new routine. Camila came and watched Hope a couple of mornings a week and Lola's parents or Miles' mom watched her the rest of the time while they were in school. Even though Miles still saw Hope regularly, it didn't feel like nearly enough. He still wasn't used to being apart from her like this. And although Miles was trying not to show it, he had to admit that it was getting really hard not to resent being in the middle of this whole Lola/Hunter feud.

Miles picked Hope up from Lola's place early one Wednesday morning, a long day ahead of them. He needed to pick up Hunter's medication from the pharmacy, stock up on more baby food, and stop by the post office all before his evening lecture. Plus, he was stopping by Degrassi today to meet with Mr. Mitchell. Miles had been kind of embarrassed to admit it, but he really needed help on his writing assignments. Besides, it was a good excuse to catch up with his favorite teacher.

"Are you sure you wanna take Hope for the morning?" Lola asked. "I mean, you've got that meeting with Mr. Mitchell and all..."

"I'm just stopping by to say hi to him," Miles said. Technically true. He hadn't told Lola that he'd been struggling with school lately... partly because he was embarrassed and partly because he didn't want her worrying about him. She had more than enough on her plate right now. He glanced down at Hope, who was quietly sucking her pacifier in her car seat carrier, barely awake. "Besides, I haven't seen enough of her lately," he added.

Lola sighed. "Well, okay," she said, standing on her tippy toes to plant a kiss on his cheek. "Stop by the media room and say hi afterwards? I've been eating in there with Yael since Shay is still freezing me out."

"Sure," Miles said. He paused for a second. "Um. Lo... speaking of freezing out..."

Lola raised her brow. "Yeah?"

"Uh." Miles felt a bit of sweat on his forehead. "Have you... have you talked to Hunter at all lately? Like at vlogging or in class or—"

"What?" Lola said immediately. She crossed her arms. "Why would I? I mean... I've seen him at vlogging, sure, but I haven't said more than two words to him."

Miles nodded quietly, glancing back and forth between Lola and Hope. "Oh," was all he could manage.

" _Mija_ , _let's go_!" Lola's father yelled from the hall.

"I gotta get to school," Lola said hurriedly. "See you later?" She planted one more kiss on Miles' cheek, then knelt down and gently ruffled her fingers through Hope's hair, cooing something to her in Spanish.

"Yeah... we'll see you." Miles let out a long sigh and then followed Lola out the door and into the driveway, Fernando barking after them in the distance.

Hope spit out her pacifier and started to cry almost as soon as Miles started driving. "What?" he frowned back at her through the mirror, chuckling a little. "You don't like your dad's taste in music?"

"AWAAHHH—" Hope spit up all over her outfit. _Crap_. Miles guessed she probably didn't like that new brand of baby cereal Lola's mom bought.

Miles sighed. "It's okay, Hope," he said, making a right turn at the stoplight. "Let's just stop by Grandma's and get you changed."

They drove back to the Hollingsworth house and Miles carried Hope in his arms, messy outfit and all. Being a dad had pretty much ensured that nothing grossed him out anymore.

Mrs. Hollingsworth's eyes immediately lit up at the site of Hope. "Oh, _there's_ my grandbaby," she smiled. Miles grinned a little— his mom wasn't usually all sentimental like this, but she'd barely seen Hope since Lola moved out. She wrinkled her nose. "Miles, what's that smell?"

"That's... why we're here, actually," Miles said, bouncing Hope on his shoulder. "She spit up in the car, so I'm just going to give her a quick bath and change her. We still have baby soap left, right?"

"Gahhh," Hope cooed.

Mrs. H nodded, eyes still glued to Hope. "Mhmm, we should." Miles was just on his way up the stairs when Mrs. H added, "Miles?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you by chance take the emergency credit card?"

"What? No," Miles said, a little offended. A couple of years ago he would have been the main culprit for stealing the family credit card to buy weed or some new car accessory, but he wasn't like that anymore. Besides, he had the trust fund now. "Why?"

"I found it in the drawer above where I usually keep it," Mrs. H said. "Like someone moved it. And the bank called about a large transaction..." She tapped her fingers against the railing.

"We have two other kids in the house," Miles reminded her, wanting to roll his eyes a bit.

"Well, the twins say they don't know anything about it either," Mrs. H muttered. "Oh, could you go check on your brother while you're up there? He stayed home from school today— wasn't feeling well."

"Y-yeah," Miles said, but his mind immediately jumped to Lola. _I don't want him around Hope, period._ But how realistic was that really, to keep her away from his own brother? Besides, Lola wasn't here and what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her... right? "Sure thing."

Miles knocked on his brother's bedroom door. "Hunter!" Miles opened the door and found him lying in bed, his nose buried in a Realm of Doom guidebook. "You okay?"

"Fine," Hunter mumbled, barely looking up. Hope squealed cheerfully at him— maybe he still was her favorite. Hunter glanced at the ten-month-old baby. "Uh..?" he said to Miles.

"Don't worry about it," Miles muttered. He took a seat on the bed. "So. Sick, huh?" He raised his brow skeptically.

"Yeah."

"Hmm."

Hunter finally put his book down. "I just didn't feel like going, okay?" He looked worried about something— pale, a little shaky— but Miles couldn't figure out what.

Miles shifted Hope to his other shoulder. "You know you can talk to me about... whatever. Right?"

"Yeah. I know." He made a face all of a sudden. "What's that smell?"

"Yeah, that would be your niece," Miles muttered. "Guess she gets carsick like you..." he added, laughing under his breath.

Hunter shook his head, but laughed a little bit. "You want help getting her cleaned up?"

The two of them got Hope into the tub. Miles handed her that rubber duck she loved and shampooed her hair while Hunter kept her happy by making faces at her to make her laugh. Hope let out a giant giggle at one of his faces.

Hunter couldn't help but grin a little. "I actually sorta missed that," he shrugged at Miles.

Miles smiled for a second, but then his expression quickly turned serious again. "Have you tried apologizing to Lola? At all?"

"Yeah," Hunter mumbled. "Almost every day. But she won't even look at me at vlog meetings." He shrugged. "I dunno. Can't really blame her, I guess. I did kinda totally lose my shit around the baby."

Miles glanced back and forth between Hunter and Hope and let out a long sigh. He didn't want to cause trouble with Lola, but Hunter was his _brother_. And he was Hope's uncle. Miles knew that deep down Hunter loved the baby and would never hurt her purpose. "You know what," Miles muttered. "I'm not going to tip-toe around anymore... I trust you around my kid."

Hunter raised his eyebrow. "But what about—"

"Lola's gonna have to forgive you eventually," Miles said. He lifted Hope out of the tub and Hunter handed him a towel. "But until then, I won't mention anything to her if you don't."

"Yeah," Hunter said. His expression softened a bit. "Okay. Cool. Sure."

"Teee oh!" Hope squealed suddenly at Hunter.

"Tee oh?" Hunter looked at Miles, puzzled. "What the hell is 'tee oh?'"

"Just baby gibberish, I guess," Miles shrugged. He paused "Wait."

"What?"

" _Tio._ That's Spanish for uncle."


	155. Unfinished Business, Part 2

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated! School and work have been crazy lately and I haven't had much time to write. Trying to get back into writing shorter chapters again so I can update more often again. Hope you guys like this chapter xx

 **Unfinished Business, Part 2**

Miles walked into Degrassi with Hope later that afternoon to meet with Mr. Mitchell. It felt so strange being back in these halls— before Lola and Hope came along, he'd never imagined sticking around in Toronto after graduation, much less visiting his old high school.

It was lunchtime, so the hallways were kind of crowded. More than a few kids glanced at Miles as he walked in with Hope attached to him in her baby sling. He just chuckled at the stares, but he realized suddenly how Lola must have felt walking the halls last year.

He opened the door to the familiar creative writing classroom. That classroom had been one of his only safe spaces in high school, one of the few places where he wasn't punished for saying what he was really thinking or feeling. He'd hoped that university class would give him that same feeling of freedom, but lately writing class just made his creativity feel more stifled than anything. Ever since Hope was born, his brain had just been in sort of a... fog. He wasn't sure he even knew how to write anymore. "Hey, Mr. Mitchell."

The teacher glanced up from his laptop. "Oh! Miles, you're here." He shifted his eyes to Hope, looking more than a little surprised. "And you brought company...!"

Miles took Hope out of her sling and took a seat on one of the desks, the baby cradled in his lap. "Sorry, I uh... hope that's okay," he said. "It's just, Lola's got school and—"

"No, no, it's fine," Mr. Mitchell quickly assured him. His eyes lingered on Hope for a second. "Gosh," he chuckled to Miles, "when I first met you, you were this stubborn kid... now look at you."

"Abaaba daaaa," Hope cooed, her little eyes darting around the classroom as she squirmed in Miles' lap.

"Yeah," Miles said, laughing a little under his breath. He handed Hope her rattle. "It's pretty crazy, alright."

"What's her name?"

"Uh, Hope. You know, after the play."

"Ah. Right. Makes sense," Mr. Mitchell nodded. "I remember when my husband I first adopted our daughter... we argued on a name for weeks and—"

"Neeeebaa dada mama!" Hope interrupted noisily, banging her rattle.

Miles shot him an apologetic look, but Mr. Mitchell just shook his head laughing. "Well. She _is_ your daughter."

"Yeah," Miles grinned. "So, uh, listen... I kind of need a favor. It's kind of embarrassing, really. But I've sorta been having a hard time in my creative writing class lately."

"What are you having trouble with?" Mr. Mitchell asked. "Plot? Characters? Dialogue?"

"Uh... all of the above?" Miles laughed nervously. "My stories just kind of suck lately." He reached into his backpack, still holding Hope in his lap. "Like this one," he said, handing Mr. Mitchell his most recent assignment. "Got a "D" on it. I don't think I've gotten a grade that bad on a writing assignment since my 'and Tristan also sucks' poem."

Mr. Mitchell looked over the story for a few minutes. He tried to keep a neutral expression, but Miles definitely noticed him cringing.

"Wahhhhh!" Hope cried suddenly, breaking the silence.

"What's the matter?" Miles whispered to her. He'd really been trying to keep her quiet, but who was he kidding? Not only was she a baby, she was a Hollingsworth. So it was pretty much near impossible for her to be quiet or sit still.

Mr. Mitchell set the paper down. "So, I finished reading your story and—"

" _Wehhhh_!"

"Um, I think the problem is that—"

 _"Wehhh!"_

"Sorry," Miles said to Mr. Mitchell. " _Hope_. What's wrong?" He rocked her back and forth for a second. Hope cooed happily, suddenly all calmed down. He guessed she probably just needed attention— both his _and_ Lola's genes at work. He turned back to Mr. Mitchell, still rocking Hope back and forth in his arms. "Um. You were saying?"

"Right, well," Mr. Mitchell said. "Honestly?" He raised his brow. "I think you can do much better than this."

Miles groaned. "I knew my writing was crap," he scowled.

"No— no, it's not," Mr. Mitchell said. "Listen. I think this is just a case of writer's block. You know why your stories were so good in high school?"

Miles just shrugged. "Maybe they weren't as good as I thought."

"They were good because you wrote about things that _mattered_ to you," Mr. Mitchell said. "The story about your father, your play... they all came from a place of meaning." He glanced down at the paper again. "You've got stories to write, Miles. You've just got to dig deeper to find them."

Miles sighed, looking down at Hope. He supposed Mr. Mitchell had a point, but it wasn't an easy fix like he'd hoped. _Dig deeper_ , he repeated to himself in his head as he waved goodbye to Mr. Mitchell and turned into the hall. _Dig deeper..._

Miles checked his watch— there were still about thirty, almost forty more minutes left of lunchtime. He supposed he could bring Hope to the media room to say hi to Lola for a bit. _Yeah. That'd be nice._ He perked up a bit at the thought of having lunch with Lola like he used to every day last year.

When Miles walked into the media room, he was immediately caught off guard by what he saw: Lola and Saad sitting next to each other, sharing a bag of chips and laughing over something. Yael was there too, working intently on some project in the back of the room with Baaz on the computer. But still. Miles couldn't help but groan inside, feeling that stupid twinge of jealousy again.

Lola's face immediately lit up as soon as she saw Hope and Miles. "Oh my gosh, my _baby_!" she cried happily, scooping Hope into her arms right away and covering her in kisses. Nobody, not even Miles, could make Lola smile the way Hope could.

"Mama!" Hope cooed, smiling.

Lola smiled back at Hope, then turned to Miles. "Hey, handsome," she said. "How'd your meeting go?"

"It was fine," Miles shrugged. "You know... just catching up."

Lola nodded. "Well, come sit with us!" she said cheerfully. She sat next to Saad, cradling Hope in her lap.

"Hey," Saad nodded at Miles.

"Hey," Miles said stiffly. He tried to smile, but it came off as a weird half-grin, half-grimace. He turned back to Lola. "So, uh... where are Frankie and Shay? Thought you normally ate lunch with them."

Lola sighed. "Shay's still not speaking to me, remember?" she said. "And Frankie... well, I don't know. She's been all over the place lately. I've barely seen her..."

"Hmm," Miles frowned. He watched as Hope squirmed in Lola's lap and smiled at Saad.

"Ahhh baba," Hope babbled, squirming around restlessly.

"Oh— I think she wants to crawl around for a second," Lola said. She carefully let Hope down on the floor and trailed after her, careful as always to watch Hope's every movement.

Miles and Saad suddenly found themselves alone at the table. "So, uh..." Miles scratched his head. He didn't have much interest in making conversation with Saad, not really, but Lola _had_ asked that he make an effort to get along with him.

Saad shrugged back. "So..."

"Um... is that a new camera?" Miles said, eyeing the camera around Saad's neck.

"Yeah," Saad said, his expression softening up a bit. "Finally saved up enough to buy a new one. The old one didn't have all the features I wanted and it... kinda had too many memories."

Miles nodded, suddenly thinking of his old stories about his father and the bus crash and things he'd rather not revisit. "Yeah," he said. "I know what you mean." He finally eased up a little.

"Uh, wanna see? I took some pretty good shots of Lola and Yael the other day for my photography class, actually."

"Yeah... okay. Sure."

The two of them browsed through Saad's camera roll for a second. Saad did really have a knack for capturing Lola's features, Miles had to admit. He especially loved this one photo of her at the Cantina with Hope. She just looked so happy and cute. So _Lola_. "These are pretty cool," he said to Saad. Saad smiled a tiny bit. It wasn't much, but for the first time, it felt like maybe they were past that awkward tension that had followed the three of them for so long.

"OH MY GOD! Miles!"

Miles immediately turned around at the sound of Lola's voice, panicked. "What's wrong?" he said right away, getting up from his chair and rushing over to check on Hope.

But Lola was smiling. " _Look_ ," she said quietly.

Miles froze at what he saw: Hope pulling herself up on the media room couch. It was the first time she'd ever been able to pull up on anything, one step closer to standing on her own.

Seconds later, Hope lost her grip and fell on the floor. She started to cry. "Hey," Miles said, rushing over to her. "Hey, don't give up. You're doing _great_." He and Lola glanced at each other and smiled, pulling Hope back up together.

"Our baby's growing up," Lola said, still beaming. She sighed. "Do you think we could get her to stop growing so fast? I don't like the idea of her not being a little baby anymore..."

Miles just shook his head smiling. "Hey uh, Saad?" he called. "Would you mind getting a picture?"


	156. Fix You, Part 1

First of all, sorry updates have been so irregular— college and work have really been kicking my butt lately and I just don't have time to write as often as I used to. I still love this little family though, and want to continue when I can. This is the beginning of a two-part chapter. We'll get back to the Esme plot very soon, but for now here's a mostly-Mola centered chapter. Thanks for reading and free to leave suggestions in the reviews!

 **Fix You, Part 1**

That Friday, Lola's parents announced they were going on a date night. If Lola was honest, it still was kind of strange getting used to seeing her parents back together. In fact, it was weird just getting used to being back home at all. Everyone in the Pacini house was slowly finding and adjusting to their new roles. Even Hope had to adjust a bit— Lola could tell the baby missed Miles, especially the way he used to tuck her into her crib at night and read to her until she fell asleep. Mr. Pacini was trying to be more involved this time around by helping out with Hope so Lola have the occasional nap or minute to herself. Lola could tell he was a bit out of practice when it came to babies— it had taken him several times before he changed a diaper correctly— _but_ he was trying. Mrs. Pacini and Lola were slowly learning to trust and get more comfortable with each other a little more each day. Things back home weren't exactly perfect, but they were better than Lola had expected, all things considered.

Lola sat on the floor playing with Hope, watching as her mother got ready for their date. "Shouldn't this be reversed?" Lola chuckled, sighing a little. "I mean, _you're_ going out and I'm staying in for the third weekend in a row..." She didn't want to mope, but her social life had been sort of depressing lately. Frankie was constantly busy, Shay was _still_ not speaking to her, Yael was busy with vlogging and Saad always had to look after his siblings. The only person she really saw outside of school these days was Miles, and even he was busy tonight— he had to go to dinner at his mom's boyfriend's, something he'd been complaining about all week. Lola couldn't feel too sympathetic towards him on that one, considering she found just getting out of the house to be exciting these days. She loved Hope more than anything, but... it could get lonely at times being a mom so young.

Mrs. Pacini glanced at Hope, who was fascinated by the tower of colorful blocks Lola had built. "Well," Mrs. Pacini said nonchalantly, "that's how it is when you've got a little one to take care of." She threw on a scarf, then tossed it off, second-guessing her entire outfit. "I assume I can trust you while your father and I are gone tonight?" she raised her brow at Lola.

"Of course," Lola said. She bit her tongue for a second, then added, "Gosh, it's not like I'm gonna go get myself _pregnant_ or anything."

Lola's mother didn't laugh along with her. "Just... be responsible, Mija," she shook her head, clearly unamused. "We'll be back by nine."

"Awaaaa!" Hope babbled. She knocked the tower of blocks over, then giggled, proud of herself.

Lola's dad walked in just then, all dressed up in his nice collared shirt and tie, which Lola couldn't help but notice didn't match. But he just looked so happy, so relaxed, something Lola wasn't used to seeing with her father. "Ready to go?" he said to Lola's mother. He scooped Hope into his arms, cooing, "Adios, mi chiquita." He gave the baby a tiny kiss on her nose, which made her giggle. "I left dinner for you in the fridge," he added to Lola. "You still like those mini pizzas, right?"

Lola hadn't eaten those since she was about eight years old, but she nodded anyway. "Of course," she smiled. She took Hope back into her arms. "Oof— when did you get so heavy, baby?"

"Goes by fast," Mr. Pacini sighed, suddenly sounding all nostalgic as he watched Lola with Hope. "Isn't that right, Victoria?"

"Mmm..." Mrs. Pacini nodded. She was fixated on the table where a picture of a young Lola sat. She had to be no more than 11 in the photo, roughly the age when her mother left. "... it does," Mrs. Pacini added, quiet.

Lola's parents finally left the house a couple of minutes later, both of them adding, " _be_ _good"_ on their way out. Lola couldn't tell if they were talking to Hope or herself. She was almost slightly insulted by it; you'd think they'd never left her alone in the house before.

"Well, I guess it's just you and me, Hope," Lola said. "What should we do? Play with your blocks? Read your new picture book? Watch _Blue's Clues?_ "

Hope looked around the room anxiously, like she was looking for something she'd lost. Her lips formed into a small frown and softly quivered, " _Dada_?"

"No, Hopey," Lola sighed. "Daddy's not here tonight." She handed Hope her teddy bear and tickled her under her chin, trying to get her to giggle.

But Hope started to cry. "Dada!" she whimpered.

"Oh no, don't cry," Lola said frantically, scooping Hope into her lap. She glanced across the room at Fernando, who was sitting on the couch licking his paw. "Look!" Lola tried, pointing to him and trying to divert Hope's attention. "Look at the doggy!"

 _No luck._ Lola sighed deeply as Hope kept on crying, honestly running out of energy. But then, she had an idea.

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Miles' number, bouncing a fussy Hope against her shoulder. "C'mon, c'mon... pick up..."

Miles finally answered. "Lo? Everything okay?"

"Er... sort of?" Lola said, over Hope's crying. "Can I put you on speaker for a second so Hope can hear your voice? She misses you."

"Oh. Yeah. Yeah, of course."

Lola put him on speaker. "Here, Hope— say hi to Daddy!"

"Hi, Hope!" Miles said over the phone. Lola couldn't help but giggle at his baby talk voice. It kind of reminded her of the days they spent together in play rehearsals last year.

Hope's eyes lit up and she slowly stopped crying. "Dada?" she cooed softly. "Daaaa!" She finally smiled a little.

Lola laughed, relieved. "I wish you could be here," she said to Miles. She'd only gotten to see him twice this week. She missed him— a _lot_. And even though she was still fairly confident that moving out was the right call... she'd found herself questioning it lately.

"Trust me, so do I," Miles said. "This dinner is a total snooze fest. God, the guy my mom's dating has been talking about the stock market for the past ten minutes straight."

"Yeah... sounds boring," Lola sighed, glancing out the window. Painful as it sounded, Lola couldn't help but wish she could get dragged out to some lame family dinner too. With Miles gone and her friends mostly absent, she was starting to feel that same stir craziness she'd felt back when Hope was a newborn. The rest of the world just seemed so distant. Even the thought of having to listen to Mrs. Hollingsworth's boyfriend drone on about economics seemed exciting.

"You okay?" Miles asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," Lola said. She glanced down at Hope, who was trying to tug on Lola's shoelaces. "Hope— _no_."

"I gotta go," Miles said. "I'll call you later?"

"Yeah.. bye. I love—" But Miles hung up before Lola could finish.

 **...Meanwhile,** Miles, Frankie, and Mrs. Hollingsworth and her boyfriend, Raymond, sat around the dinner table in awkward silence. Hunter had gotten out of it because he "wasn't feeling well," which Miles took as code for "I would rather do anything but this."

Miles didn't know why his mother insisted on these "family" dinners— he and the twins barely even knew the guy their mom was dating. He liked Raymond okay — she wasn't dating his father again, at least— but he sure could be dull.

Mrs. H eyed Frankie across the table disapprovingly "Francesca, quit texting under the table. It's rude."

"But Miles was just on _his_ phone," Frankie said.

"That's different," Miles mumbled, poking at his salmon. "I'm checking on my kid." He glanced over Frankie's shoulder. "Who you texting, anyway? _Jonah_?"

Frankie just scoffed at him and slipped her phone back into her jeans pocket.

"You could bring the baby to dinner sometime, Miles," Raymond offered, smiling awkwardly. He was nice enough, but Miles could tell he'd been a bit shocked by the whole teen father relevation.

"Uh, maybe," Miles muttered.

"Frankie!" Mrs. H cried. "I _just_ told you to put that phone away!"

"But it's really important!" Frankie insisted. She looked very anxious about something, but Miles couldn't tell what.

"Unless it's a life or death emergency, I don't want to see that phone out again."

But then Miles' phone rang again.

"Oh, for _godssakes—!"_ Mrs. H snapped. Raymond just shrugged quietly.

 _Lola again._ "I... I gotta take this," Miles said, knowing full well he'd be getting a lecture about this later. "It might be something important with Hope." He stepped into the other room and quietly answered, "What's up?"

"Miles?" Lola said. Her voice was tense and shaky, like she'd been crying. "Can you... can you come over?" Miles could hear Hope crying in the background again. " _Please_?"

"Wait, is something wrong with Hope?"

"No... I just..." Lola sighed. "I just miss you," she finally admitted.

Miles paused. He glanced back into the dining room, overhearing his mother and sister bickering again. "I'll be over in ten minutes."

 **...Lola** was sitting on the couch rocking a colicky Hope back and forth, still trying to calm her down, when Miles finally showed up. He was 20 minutes later than he said he would be— which Lola almost wanted to kill him for, initially— but then he showed up with a big stuffed animal and a carton of candy cane ice cream.

Lola answered the door frazzled, but her face lit up as soon as she saw Miles. "Oh my _god_ , you're my hero," she cried, handing Hope off to him and grabbing the carton of ice cream. "Where did you even find candy cane cream in April?"

"I have my ways," Miles grinned. Really though, it was always in stock. He turned to Hope. "What's wrong, you? Why so cranky?"

Lola led him into the house, nearly tripping over the million baby toys on the floor. "I think she's just... having a hard time adjusting," she said, grabbing a spoon out of the drawer and digging into the carton of ice cream. She sighed. "She's not the only one..."

"It's not too late to move back, you know," Miles said. "I mean, Hunter has really changed and—"

Lola took a deep breath. "Miles?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we _not_ talk about your brother right now? I'm crazy stressed as it is." She took another huge bite of the ice cream, dripping some of it onto her shirt. Miles hadn't seen her this moody and hungry since she was pregnant with Hope.

Miles held back a lump in his throat— he didn't want to keep putting the whole Hunter conversation off, but he supposed now wasn't the time to push the issue. "Okay, okay," he said. He sat down on the couch with Hope and rocked her back and forth. "Come on, Hope. Don't be sad, _be yappy_ ," he added, trying to make both Hope and Lola laugh. No dice. He decided to try something different and bounced Hope up and down on his knee, something he'd seen on some parenting channel.

"Miles— Miles, be caref—"

But Hope suddenly giggled. "Gahhh!" she cooed.

Lola put the ice cream down. "Oh my god, she _finally_ stopped crying!" She slumped down on the couch next to them and leaned into Miles' chest. "She cries all evening with me— but the second you get here, she stops!"

"Er...? Sorry?"

Lola shook her head. "Never mind," she sighed. "I'm just... god, I'm so tired." She gave him a peck on the cheek. " _Thank you_."

"I can watch her for a bit if you wanna close your eyes," Miles shrugged. He couldn't help but feel a little guilty seeing Lola so exhausted like this. It made him feel like he hadn't been around enough lately. "I'll just play with her in here and you can nap on the couch."

"That would be amazing, actually," Lola said, yawning. She collapsed into the pile of pillows and closed her eyes.

"Alright, well, I can grab you a blanket or—"

Miles stopped. Lola was already fast asleep, out like a baby. "Well," he whispered to Hope, "I guess I need to come around here more often, huh?"


	157. Fix You, Part Two

**Fix You, Part Two**

That evening after the long, torturous event that was dinner,— Frankie still couldn't believe _both_ her brothers had ditched her, the nerve— Frankie finally sprinted upstairs to call Esme. She'd gotten a series of vague texts from her throughout dinner that were a bit... worrying, to say the least:

 _Esme: we can't keep this up._

 _Frankie: what?_

 _Esme: hiding out. My crazyass dad is probably going nuts looking for me._

 _Esme: also I'm running out of shows to binge_

 _Esme: and your sofa smells weird. You sure Lola and Miles didn't make that baby on it?_

Frankie had tried to tell Esme to just stay there, that everything would be fine and they'd come up with a real, long-term plan eventually. Hiding Esme at her parents' old timeshare wasn't exactly one of Frankie's most thought-out ideas (if there was such a thing, honestly), but at least it was _something_. She didn't want to think about Esme being back with that awful father, that awful house... even if she had done some truly horrible things in the past, Esme didn't deserve that. Frankie _knew_ she didn't.

Initially, she had started this whole "rescue Esme" scheme as a way to help Hunter, who was still pining for her, Frankie could tell. But somewhere along the line it became less about Hunter and more about Esme herself. Lately, Esme's safety was the only thing Frankie could think about. She couldn't focus on much else; she'd even been neglecting Lola and Shay over it. It weirded her out a little, if she was being honest— she hadn't felt this obsessive since Jonah. And that was totally different, being a guy and all...

...at least, that's what Frankie tried to tell herself.

"Frankie! Chores in the morning!" Mrs. Hollingsworth shouted from downstairs. They'd bickered most of the way home, Mrs. H especially grumpy after that dinner. "Or I'm taking that phone away!"

"Yeah. Okay," Frankie said. She turned to go into her bedroom, finally. "Good _night_ , Mom!"

But just as Frankie opened the door...

"About time you got home," a voice greeted her.

... **Meanwhile** back at the Pacini house, Miles sat in the recliner holding Hope in his lap and watching what felt like their fiftieth episode of _Dora the Explorer._ He knew too much TV wasn't good for babies, but he figured _one_ evening of television couldn't hurt. It kept Hope happy, and besides, she sounded so cute giggling every time the characters sang that ridiculous "Swiper no swiping" song.

Hope yawned, stretching her little legs and leaning into Miles' chest. He couldn't help but smile, suddenly reminded of what a simple comfort just having her in his arms was.

"Miles?" Lola sat up groggily, rubbing her eyes. She was still clinging to her pillow like a teddy bear. "What time is it?"

"Uh, just after eight." He grinned, adding,"You've got some serious bedhead."

Lola rolled her eyes, but smirked back. "Yeah, well, it can't be as bad as _your_ hair in the morning." She glanced at Hope, who was nestled quietly in Miles' arms. "She finally fell asleep? _Thank. God._ "

Miles looked down at the tiny baby. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess she di—"

Before he could even finish, Lola came over and planted a giant smooch on his cheek. "How did you do it? I haven't been able to get her to nap all _week_!"

"I dunno, I just put the TV on for awhile and she just—"

Lola shook her head and muttered something under her breath in Spanish. "Unbelievable."

Lola crawled into the recliner to join Miles and Hope, almost squishing them both, and leaned into him like a puppy. "I miss this," she said. "Being with you." She sighed, suddenly all worked up. "I mean, I... I think made the right choice moving here, for Hope. But it's not the same, you know, just living with my parents. I miss waking up to you every morning... I miss getting Hope ready for bed together, and I miss kissing you goodnight and—"

Miles held her chin. "Hey. _Hey_. It's okay."

Lola wiped her eyes, feeling embarrassed suddenly. Miles had seen her an emotional mess more times than she could count, but somehow she still felt vulnerable with him. "I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be such a basket case. It's just..." She glanced back down at Hope, then sighed again. "Does it make me a bad mom if I say I also kinda miss having you to myself sometimes?"

"No," Miles smiled softly, fumbling his fingers through her curly hair. "Just makes you human." It was true they'd never really just gotten to be a normal couple, he realized. The first time they were together, Miles was still tethered to Tristan's side, caught between the two of them. And then by the time he and Lola could call themselves a real couple, they already had a baby well on its way. Normalcy had never exactly been their thing.

Lola's expression finally let up a little. "And, um... I really miss—" Her cheeks turned pink, like the color of her old hair. "Um," she giggled suddenly. "I feel weird saying this around the baby..."

"What?" Miles grinned. He put his hands over Hope's ears, smirking at Lola teasingly. He already knew what Lola was going to say— or at least he hoped he did— but it was so much fun to drag it out of her. _Something that will get us both in trouble? Like what?_ he remembered saying to her the night they first hooked up.

Lola just shook her head. "Okay, I'm just. _Really_ horny." She burst into giggles. "Like, seriously. Is it possible to die of this?" She snuggled up closer to him, whispering in his ear, "Because I'm in _serious_ need of a Hollingsworth fix."

Miles paused for a second, still twirling Lola's hair. He glanced down at Hope— who was still fast asleep— then back at Lola, raising his brow. "What time did you say your parents would be back?"

 **... "Esme,** what are you doing here?!" Frankie cried. "You're supposed to be at the timeshare still! It's like over an hour away, how did you—"

"Oh _relax,_ will you?" Esme said. She was propped up in Frankie's bed with pillows and blankets, lounging comfortably like it was her own. Frankie didn't think she'd ever seen Esme in just a sweatshirt and leggings before like this. "I had some cash left, so I just hopped on a bus to Toronto. I had to check on my siblings— make sure my stepmom was remembering to feed them and all. Don't worry, Daddy dearest wasn't home." She helped herself to a handful of pink jelly beans from the half-eaten box Lola had left behind. "Mind if I crash here for a night or two?"

"Esme, are you _nuts_? My mom is right downstairs and—"

"So? Wouldn't be the first time I spent the night in a Hollingsworth bedroom."

Frankie shook her head, pretending not to hear that. "Okay... _one_ night," she finally gave in. "But after that, we've gotta figure something out. And Hunter can't know."

Esme fluffed her pillow up some more. "Fine by me," she yawned. She scooted over on the bed, then raised her brow, "You gonna join me or what?"

There was a jittery feeling inside Frankie's chest just then. It was weird— like a fluttering in her stomach or a jelly-like tremble in her legs. It wasn't anxiety or nervousness. It wasn't even a bad feeling. It was just... a _feeling_. A feeling Frankie desperately wanted to ignore, but for whatever reason... just couldn't.

"Frankie?"

Frankie snapped out of her trance. "Hmm? Oh, yeah... sure, I guess..." She climbed into her bed next to Esme, that trembling feeling only increasing as Esme leaned into her. _This girl._ This gorgeous, messed up, broken girl who had somehow managed to worm her way into the lives of all three Hollingsworth kids.

"Frankie?" Esme said again.

"Huh?"

"Thanks," Esme shrugged, and it looked like it was a struggle for her to get the words out. "I missed this, you know? Having, like... _friends_."

"Yeah... don't mention it."

That feeling still wouldn't go away.

 **... "God,** I've missed this."

"Shh," Lola said, stifling back a giggle. "Less talking, more kissing." There was a pause and then, " _Oh...!_ "

Miles rolled over and planted a light kiss on Lola's forehead. "Yeah... I _definitely_ missed this."

With Hope having fallen asleep and Lola's parents out for awhile longer, she and Miles figured now might be a good time for some alone time. They hadn't gotten to do this for weeks, which was admittedly way longer than they were used to. They'd left Hope sleeping in the recliner and set up the baby monitor, figuring she was probably alright. It wasn't exactly like Lola to just leave her like that, but Hope was safe, she assured herself. And besides, it was only for a few minutes, right?

Lola leaned into his chest, letting out a long, satisfied sigh. "Uh. Hey, Miles?"

"Mhmm?"

"Can I ask you... um..." Lola twirled a strand of her hair and her cheeks fell pink in the lighting. "Never mind. It's stupid."

"No, what?"

"I just wondered..." Lola sat up a bit. "Was I, uh, _okay_ that first time?"

"Huh?"

"You know... the whole girls' night debacle. Uh, deflowering me and all?" Lola shrugged, her cheeks still pink. "Was I like, alright?"

"Uh, considering I didn't realize it was your first time? Yeah. _Way_ more than alright, Lo." Miles sat up too, his face falling to a frown suddenly. "Why? I mean, was I... was I not..."

"No!" Lola said right away. "No, I mean, you were good. _Great,_ actually." She sighed. "I just, um, sometimes I wonder. Like, if I'm... enough for you... in bed...?"

"What? Lo, _of course_ you are." Miles frowned. "Why would you even ask that?"

"I dunno, it's just... you've had all these other experiences, but you're somehow willing to commit to me for the rest of your life." Lola sighed. "I just want to make sure you're happy. Like, in every way."

"Lo. Of course I am." Miles leaned in and kissed her. "More than happy. I promise." He paused. "This isn't about, like, my number, is it? Because yeah, I've had... _experiences._ But you're definitely the best of them. Not to mention, I've probably slept with you _way_ more times than anyone else."

"No, no, it's not about the number. I don't care about that." Lola paused, letting that info sink in. "Wait, really, though? More times than anyone? But you and Maya... and Esme... and you dated Tristan for like, forever—"

"Okay, well, first off. Me and Maya, we never even slept together. I was a real mess back then, Lo. Esme... that was only a couple of times, and honestly? I barely even remember it..." Miles sighed. "And Tris and I, we really only did it once."

Lola raised her brow. "Only once?" she said, not managing to hide her surprise.

"More or less, yeah. And we spent more time fighting than we did talking. Like, I don't think we ever once talked like this. It wasn't like, some grand, epic thing, Lo."

Lola nodded quietly. "Oh."

Miles sensed that something was still off. "What's this really about?"

Lola sat there for a second trying to gather her thoughts. "Well," she said, her voice wavering a bit. "I was just thinking lately about my parents. How my mom pretty much married my dad just because got pregnant with me. How she left because she wasn't ready, because it wasn't enough for her..." She sighed again. "I'm sorry. It's not you. I just, I need to know that you're really, truly happy."

"Lola, I _swear_ — I've never been happier." Miles kissed her again. "The only thing that sucks is us not living together right now."

"Yeah... that part really does suck." Lola flopped back down on the mattress. Miles joined her and she leaned back into his chest, sighing contently. "You know something?"

"Hmm?"

"I think my parents are actually happy," Lola said. She let herself smile a tiny bit. "I haven't seen my dad like this in years. And my mom walks around the house smiling and singing Spanish tunes all the time. It's weird. But also, it's kinda nice?"

Miles smiled. "I'm glad, Lo."

The two of them just laid there in silence for a minute, feeling much better than they had an hour ago. Maybe they'd just needed a little time to recharge.

Seconds later though, the quiet moment was interrupted by the baby monitor. They just heard Hope's soft whimper at first, followed by some rustling. "I'll go get her," Lola said.

But then there was a loud _thud_. And a much louder cry. Lola and Miles glanced at each other and froze, both immediately filled with a sense of dread that felt all too familiar. " _HOPE_...!"


	158. Accidents Will Happen

**Accidents Will Happen**

"Stop beating yourself up."

Miles squeezed Lola's hand gently, trying to reassure her as they waited for the doctor to come in. Hope was cradled in Lola's arms, still whimpering a little.

They'd decided to rush Hope to the E.R. as soon as they heard the fall. Her head looked okay, and there didn't appear to be any swelling or anything, but Lola was scared to death about the possibility of a concussion. They didn't even know for sure if Hope had even hit her head, but Lola had read online how serious a fall like that could be and was absolutely convinced they needed to rush Hope to a doctor right that second. Miles had wearily agreed, a pit in his stomach at the thought of their baby hurt again. Though he was honestly worried about bringing her to the hospital again— he couldn't help but feel it looked terrible that it was her second visit to the emergency room in just a matter of months. Sure, last time it had been Frankie's fault, technically, but this... this was all on him now.

"How can I not, though?" Lola said, rocking Hope back and forth. "I mean, what does this say about me as a mom? If I hadn't been so stupid and left her on the recliner—"

Miles squeezed her hand again. "It's. Not. Your. Fault."

Lola sighed. What was taking the doctor so freaking long? She looked into Miles' eyes, her gaze lingering for a moment. "How are you so... _calm_?" she asked, kind of amazed. "I mean, I'm shaking like a chihuahua here."

"I'm not, really," Miles admitted. Lola noticed his hands were trembling. "But when Hope had to get stitches a few months ago, I was... a total hothead. And that uh, didn't exactly help." He ran his hand gently over Hope's head and sighed. "This place really ought to start giving us frequent flyer miles," he chuckled wearily.

Truthfully, Miles _was_ every bit as freaked out as Lola. The whole ride here, he'd kept on telling Lola to quit beating herself up, meanwhile, he was silently cursing himself for this whole thing. He felt stupid, irresponsible. He could hear his father's voice in the back of his head: _what the hell's wrong with you? Your head screwed on wrong?_ But with Hope crying and Lola leaning into his chest looking like she was about to sob, Miles knew he couldn't lose it. He had to try and keep a level head, even if the thought of Hope having any sort of injury made him want to die.

 _"Wehhh."_

Lola shifted her attention back to Hope. "She hasn't stopped crying this entire time..."

Miles glanced into the hallways. _Dammit, where was that doctor already?_ "It's gonna be okay, Lo," he managed. He reached for Hope, but couldn't pry her out of Lola's protective arms. "I mean, look, I slammed my head into concrete at your cantina when I was high off my ass junior year, and I turned out okay. Hope will too."

"Oh, God," Lola said, rubbing Hope's back and trying to calm her. She thought way back to that day at the cantina, back when all she really knew of Miles was that her best friend's brother was a hot mess. That 24 hours had been a whirlwind, from unexpectedly getting junk pics from Miles— even though she'd long had a crush on him, she was with Tiny and also, it was, well... _rude_ to just send them like that— to practically saving his life. "That seems like a lifetime ago. You and Tiny bickering outside the cantina and me having to call an ambulance after you passed out..."

"Yeah... pretty sure that was your dad's first impression of me, too." Miles shook his head. "Drugged up and my pants half undone." He managed a weak laugh. "I'm sure he was _thrilled_ to learn I'd knocked you up."

 _"Miles, oh god, are you okay?"_

 _Lola sat with Miles on the bench, feeding him sips of water as they waited for the ambulance. She had persuaded Tiny and Esme to scram and let her handle it— her father still didn't know she had a boyfriend, and Esme had been hysterical and in the way._

 _Miles had sort of come out of his stupor at that point, muttering something about his dad. Lola just kept giving him water, not sure if it was drugs or a concussion making him talk like that. "I'm... fine," he managed finally. "Just lemme go home, I don't wanna be in the way..."_

 _"Absolutely not!" Lola cried, grabbing him by his shirt collar. "I'm not letting you go home like this. You'll sit right here and wait for help."_

 _Mr. Pacini came outside just as the sirens blared in the distance. "What's all the fuss?" he said. He looked startled at the sight of Miles practically slumped over in Lola's lap, looking like he was about to puke. "Mija, who is—"_

 _"Frankie's brother," Lola said quickly. "He, uh... just got a little dehydrated and fell." It was obvious that wasn't the truth, but she wasn't about to rat Miles out. Even if she didn't know him that well back then, she knew enough to know that he was obviously going through something._

 _Miles looked back at Lola as the ambulance approached. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "You've been so nice to me and I've been such a piece of crap."_

 _Lola sighed. "Just... do what you need to get better. And maybe lock your cell phone." She turned to follow her clearly unhappy father back inside, but then glanced back and gave Miles' hand a tiny squeeze. "You're gonna be okay."_

It was strange to think how far they'd come from that day.

Miles squeezed Hope's little hand tight and sighed. "I swear, if that doctor doesn't come in soon—"

But then the door finally swung open. Lola almost gasped at the familiar face. "Mrs.— er, I mean, _Dr_.— Powers. I.. totally forgot you worked here," she stammered at Shay's mother.

"You're my last call of the day, actually," Mrs. Powers said matter-of-factly. Her tone of voice never seemed to change, whether she was talking to Shay on the phone or making small talk with Lola and Frankie at sleepovers or just doing her job. It had been months since Lola had seen her, she realized. On one hand, she was relieved Hope was in good hands, but she also couldn't help but feel kind of awkward, considering she and Shay weren't exactly on speaking terms. Plus, Lola always felt like Shay's parents kind of judged her. After all, she always used to tell Shay how many pregnant girls she saw come through the hospital— and then Lola became one of them. "So, what happened? Something about a fall?"

"Um, yeah," Miles piped up. He held Lola's hand protectively. "Hope, uh— we left her sleeping on the recliner and she sort of... toppled off." His voice trailed off at the end, like he was embarrassed to admit it.

"It was only like, ten minutes," Lola added frantically, feeling her eyes get teary again. She hugged Hope even tighter. "Really, we never do this! I— I swear."

"Lola— relax," Mrs. Powers said. "I _do_ have to tell you that you can't just leave her like that. Even for five minutes. It's irresponsible." She scribbled something down on her clipboard. "But, I'm not here to scold you. Let's just check on your baby, okay?" She pried Hope away from Lola's arms, finally, and inspected the baby's head closely.

Miles felt that pit in his stomach again. "Do you... think she hit her head...?" He tugged at his shirt collar, feeling sweat on his forehead.

Mrs. Powers ran her hand over Hope's head gently. The baby had finally settled down, thank god. "No, it doesn't look like it," she said. She handed Hope back to Lola and softened her expression a bit. "I think she just got spooked."

"Oh, thank _god_ ," Lola cried. She leaned into Miles' shoulder and just bawled. She kissed Hope's forehead, adding, "You're _never_ going to end up here again, Mija. Promise."

Mrs. Powers actually chuckled a tiny bit. "Ha. You think that, but they find ways to get into trouble on their own. I turned my back for two seconds once when Shay was four and she jumped right off the bed. Sprained her arm and everything..." She sighed. "It happens, alright? Just be more careful next time."

Lola wiped her eyes and nodded. "Okay."

"We will," Miles added quickly. His heart wasn't quite back to beating normally, but knowing that Hope almost definitely didn't have a concussion certainly helped. He'd put himself through so much the past few years between his father, the bus crash, and Hope that it was a wonder his heart still worked at all.

"Baaa," Hope cooed. Miles and Lola looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of her voice.

Mrs. Powers finished scribbling something down, then turned around on her way out. "Lola?" she said. "We miss having you around." She closed the door before Lola could even answer.

Before Lola had a chance to gather her thoughts at all, the door burst open again.

 _"MIJA! What happened?!"_

Lola was beyond startled to see her mom standing there in her date night outfit, looking all riled up. "Mom?! What are you— how did—"

"You think you can just leave a note that says "had to go to the hospital— be right back" and expect your mother _not_ to freak out? Ay dios mio!" Mrs. Pacini immediately rushed over to Hope. "What happened with the baby? Is she okay?"

Miles piped up, "She... she's fine. She fell off the recliner and we just had a scare..." He had to admit being around Lola's mom still made him nervous, especially tonight. But he was sort of impressed she'd managed to find them so quickly. And surprised by the sheer protectiveness in her voice.

Lola just stared at her mom for a second. "You... actually came."

"Of course I did!" Mrs. Pacini said. "Listen. When something happens to my babies, I drop what I'm doing and come. No question."

Lola opened her mouth to say something, but she just sat there frozen. She couldn't remember the last time her mom did something like this, something that made Lola feel like she had a real mother. She'd expected her father to worry, but she hadn't considered that her mom would do more than scold her. That she would actually... _care_.

"Your father's parking the car," Mrs. Pacini said. She paused, letting out a long sigh. "I think I need to be around a _lot_ more often."

Miles and Lola both held onto Hope as they left the hospital, walking together in a sort of huddle. They kept on holding onto each other the whole way home, Miles insisting on leaving his car in the parking lot and staying by Hope's side. They hardly said a word, just relieved their baby was okay. As far as evenings went... this one was a rollercoaster.


	159. Sibling Talks

**Sibling Talks**

When Frankie awoke the next morning, Esme was already gone. Instead of waking up next to a long strand of black hair in her face and a loud snore, Frankie was greeted only by a scribbled note: _had to dip. I'll call you later. —E_

A part of Frankie just wanted to scream. Here she was trying her damndest to keep Esme safe, and the girl wouldn't stay still in one place for more than a few hours. It really got on Frankie's nerves. But also there was something a bit... _addictive_ about not knowing what Esme was going to do next. Infuriating... but still. The excitement of being pulled back into Esme Song's world reminded Frankie of why she'd been so eager to latch onto her last year.

Frankie tossed the note into her drawer where she stashed all her secret stuff— an old Valentine from Winston, some pics of her with Zig and Esme, a little bottle of jack she'd swiped from her dad's liquor cabinet, the forgotten condom Lola had lent her for Jonah a couple of years ago. Esme Song seemed to fit perfectly into that little drawer full of things Frankie wanted to stash away.

Frankie spent the next couple of days trying to distract herself, mostly. She went to the mall with Shay, dropped by Lola's cantina to say hi to her and check up on Hope, went for a run, even rewatched half a season of _Friends_. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to get herself to think of anything but Esme. It was driving Frankie nuts— all she could think about was when the phone was going to ring, where Esme was, whether she was safe. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't stop thinking about her. And the worst part was, Frankie couldn't explain why.

Frankie was sitting next to Hunter at his computer watching him play Realm of Doom one afternoon, desperate to get her mind off the subject. "There!" she yelled, pointing at the screen. "There's a monster _right there_!"

" _Geez_. I got it, okay?" Hunter muttered, giving Frankie a strange look as he effortlessly killed the little demon creature on his screen.

"There! Another one! Kill it!"

"Frankie, would you just—"

Frankie grabbed the keyboard from Hunter and clicked the command key. " _Got him_!"

" _Frankie_!" Hunter shouted, furious. "You just killed one of our own teammates!"

"...oh."

Hunter yanked the keyboard. "Get lost."

Frankie felt a knot in her stomach at idea of going back to her room and having to be alone with her thoughts. "Come on, just let me try one more—"

"No, Frankenstein. _Scram_." Hunter wasn't exactly in such a ray of sunshine mood himself.

Frankie shook her head and got up. She turned to leave Hunter's room, but then found herself blurting out, "Um. Hunter. Have you heard from...?"

Hunter didn't even look away from the computer screen. "Who?"

" _You know_." Frankie didn't know why she was dancing around Esme's name like this, like she was Voldemort or something.

Hunter finally glanced over at her. "Esme?" he said. Frankie nodded. "No," he muttered. "Consider me ghosted, I guess. Why?"

"Oh... eh, no reason." Frankie scurried into the hallway and shut the door before he could say anything else. She took a deep breath and checked her phone again. Still no. She felt like she was back with Jonah suddenly, overanalyzing his every move.

But Frankie had to admit that she wasn't exactly double checking her phone every two seconds purely out of worry. There was also something _good_ she felt every time she thought of Esme. Like it reminded her of all those times with her and Zig last year. Only, she realized as she stared at Esme's contact again, she wasn't thinking of Zig at all, only Esme. Almost like... _oh... crap..._

All at once, it began to hit Frankie.

She couldn't _like_ Esme, Frankie tried to reassure herself. No, of course not. She'd always had boyfriends. She'd loved Jonah and Winston. She'd had sex with Zig. And she _knew_ she liked boys. She couldn't be... she wasn't...

Feeling her knees tremble and her palms shake, she sprinted back to her bedroom and pulled out her laptop, her heart still racing. Google could reassure her, right? She had to admit this felt a little like a Lola move, turning to Yahoo answers to solve her problems.

 _Does it mean you're gay if—_ Frankie started to type.

It wasn't that Frankie hated the idea of being gay or anything. She'd supported Miles, thought Zoe and Rasha were cute, even bought a little rainbow pin for her backpack from Yael for the LGBT club's fundraiser. She'd never had a problem with anyone being gay. But she just didn't feel like _she_ could be. Yeah, people had referred to her and Esme as "girlfriends" last year, but they'd really just both dated Zig. It wasn't like they'd actually had a threesome in the pool. She and Esme were just... _close_ friends, Frankie reasoned.

"Hey Frankenstein, have you seen Hope's teddy bear? She won't go down for her nap without it."

Frankie immediately slammed her laptop shut, caught off guard by the sight of Miles standing in front of her bed, Hope in his arms. "Erm, nope!" Frankie cried, not doing a very good job of hiding her nervousness. "Haven't seen the, um... yeah, no, I haven't seen her pacifier."

Miles gave her a funny look. "Well, that's not what I asked," he said, shifting Hope to his shoulder. He glanced at Frankie's laptop. "What are you doing?"

"Amaaaa," Hope cooed at Frankie.

"Nothing," Frankie said quickly. She glanced at the baby. "So uh, Hope's okay? No concussion?" She sort of wondered if Lola knew Hunter was here at the same time as Hope— she was still acting all weird about him.

Miles nodded. "Yeah, she's fine." He paused. "Are you _sure_ you're alright? You look kinda shaky."

" _Amaaa!_ " Hope babbled again, louder this time. Miles shrugged and handed her to Frankie.

"She just wants her auntie," Frankie smiled.

"Yeah, well, if _you_ can get her to take a nap..." Miles said. Frankie couldn't help but groan as he took a seat on the bed— she just wanted to get back to her Google search already, dammit. "Oh, hey— also," Miles said. "Mind if I borrow your laptop for homework? Mine isn't working, and Hunter is being a dick and won't—"

" _No_!" Frankie cried as Miles reached for the computer. She yelled it so loud that Hope whimpered a little, startled. "Uh... I mean..."

"Geez! What's _with_ you, Frankenstein?" He shook his head and grabbed the laptop anyway, hopping off the bed and walking towards the hallway with it. "What are you searching on this thing, how to build a bomb—"

" _Miles!_ Give it _back_!" Frankie immediately jumped off her bed. She chased him down the hall, still carrying Hope, who looked as though she'd just been thrown on a rollercoaster.

Miles just ignored her in that smug older brother way. "Chill, okay? I just need it for a few minutes—"

Frankie tried to pry the laptop out of his hands, following him into Hope's nursery. "Give it _back_ , jerk!"

Miles tugged back, like they were suddenly five years old fighting over a toy again. "What the hell, Frankenstein?"

 _Thud._ Frankie's laptop fell to the ground. It wasn't broken or anything, but it did make a noise loud enough to make both Frankie and Miles fall silent. Hope started to cry, startled. Before Frankie could grab the laptop, the display lit up with her most recent search. Frankie felt her face turn red as Miles glanced at it, then back at her.

"Miles..." Frankie started.

"Here, gimme Hope," Miles said. He took the baby and bounced her against his shoulder, quietly shushing her to calm her down. "So," he turned to Frankie. " _That's_ what you were worried about me seeing?" He let out a stifled chuckle. "I mean, _me_ of all people?"

Frankie just shrugged, crossing her arms. "I'm not gay, okay?"

"Okay..."

"I'm not."

"You don't need to convince me."

Frankie was pacing around the room. "I mean, I can't be. I like guys."

Miles just glanced at her for a second, then took a deep breath. He put Hope in her crib and turned to give Frankie his full attention. "Um. You _do_ know there's such a thing as being bi or pan, right?" He shook his head. "I mean, look. I thought I was straight. I'd always been into girls, I'd kissed like 50 of them. But then I dated Tristan and... yeah, maybe that didn't exactly end well, but he was still important to me. And now I'm with Lo, but it doesn't mean I'm not still bisexual." He gulped a little, like it still made him nervous to say the word.

Frankie sighed. "I... I didn't mean to imply it's not real or—"

"I know," Miles said. He was quiet for a second. "But listen, just forget about labels for a minute. Do you really feel that way about girls? Like, the same as you do about guys?"

Frankie didn't look at him. "I..." She twirled a strand of her hair, glancing at Hope, who was watching them intently from her crib. "I don't want to."

"Why?" Miles shrugged, like it was just a casual question.

" _Because_ ," Frankie said. She stumbled on her words, suddenly at a loss for her thoughts. "I mean... I'm not like, a homophobe or anything. I just... I never thought I could see myself ending up with anyone but a guy. I didn't think I could ever date girls or... I don't know."

"Well, who says you can't?" Miles shrugged again.

"I mean, I never thought I'd run for school president with a campaign slogan about playing for all teams, but I did. _And_ I won." He paused for a second, grumbling, "Til Tristan ratted me out..."

"So, what? You're saying I should put a banner up in the caf that says I like girls?"

"No— but hey, if that's your style..." Miles said, laughing a little under his breath. "Look. You don't need to prove anything to other people. Just... do what makes you happy. Don't hide who you are or try to be what you _think_ you should be. Just be yourself, okay?" He took a long pause, staring at Hope, who was now playing with her toys in her crib. "Look, I... I spent so much time worrying about what other people thought of me. Especially Dad."

"Yeah," Frankie said quietly. She'd been thinking about her father a lot lately, if she was honest. "He, um... he kinda fucked us up, huh?"

" _Kind_ of?" Miles said. "Frankie, _look_ at all of us." He couldn't help but laugh.

Frankie finally let herself laugh a little too. They didn't talk about their dad much, but maybe he had something to do with how she was feeling.

"Look, I... I get it though," Miles sobered up. "I couldn't deal with what Dad thought. And I just... kinda let people shove me into their boxes of whatever they wanted me to be. Like..." He paused. "Tristan, he didn't want to accept that I was into girls too. And I just let him. I mean, he told the whole school that I couldn't decide between boys and girls and I just stood there."

"Yeah," Frankie nodded. She'd forgotten how many comments Tristan used to make like that. It had to have messed with Miles' head, she realized now. She sighed. "Miles, I don't... I don't wanna _not_ be who I am. But... it's _scary_."

"Yeah... tell me about it," Miles said. He walked over to Hope's crib and stood over her, smiling as he watched her play with her toy blocks. "You know, I wanna do things different with Hope. I don't want her to ever feel the way we did growing up."

Frankie nodded. "Me either."

"Dada!" Hope squealed. Miles and Frankie both laughed a little.

Miles turned back to Frankie. "So, do you feel any better?"

"You know... I actually do," Frankie said. She let out a long breath. Maybe she wasn't quite ready to shout _I'm bisexual_ from the rooftops, but maybe Miles had a point. She hugged Miles suddenly, something she didn't do all that often.

"Well, you're welcome," Miles said, just as surprised as Frankie by the giant hug. "Hey uh, can I still borrow your laptop?"

Frankie nodded. "Yeah, sure... I think I need to go call someone, actually."


	160. The Games We Play

Holy cow, how am I at 160 chapters now?! Feels like I just started writing this whole thing yesterday. Honestly, I'm not sure what my plan is for this story long-term anymore, but as long as people still read it, I'll keep writing. Sorry updates were less than regular these past few months— hopefully I'll have more time to write again soon. This chapter is more Lola-focused, but I will have some more Fresme coming up in the future too. Let me know what you'd like to see explored next xxx

 **The Games We Play**

"Miles, don't splash me!"

Miles had the idea to blow up the pool raft and push Hope around on it. Lola had rejected the idea at first, afraid the baby could slip into the water, but then she remembered how careful and gentle Miles was and how gorgeous he looked in those swim trunks. Besides, the weather was just too perfect— and Hope looked _adorable_ in those little baby floaties.

"I'm not trying to!" Miles insisted, laughing. He pushed the raft closer to Lola and Hope let out a happy little shriek.

"She sounds like a baby seal," Lola giggled. She tickled Hope's wet little toes and planted a kiss on her tummy, then turned her attention nearby. "Frankie, are you _ever_ gonna join us? You've been glued to your phone this whole afternoon!"

Frankie was sprawled out across a lawn chair, sporting a bikini and huge sunglasses (ones that looked slightly familiar; like Lola had seen them on someone else, but couldn't pinpoint who), completely smitten with whatever was on her cell phone. "Yeah, yeah, in a bit," she waved Lola off, not even peeling her eyes from the screen.

Lola rolled her eyes. "Hmmph!" she grumped. "Fine, then— Miles and I will just have the pool _allll_ to ourselves." She pulled him into a kiss, even slipping a little tongue in, something that usually made Frankie gag. But still Frankie paid them no attention. Lola couldn't help but wonder who on earth had her so distracted lately.

Miles glanced over at Frankie, looking equally curious, but then just shrugged. "You know, it's no surprise Hope likes the water," he said to Lola, glancing at their smiling baby. "Considering you made me push you around on this thing and fetch you lemonade your whole third trimester."

Lola smirked at him. "It was really the least you could do, considering you'd made me blow up like a pufferfish."

Miles just shook his head, giving her that boyish grin. "So, um," he said, "how's things with your mom?"

"They're... _better,_ actually," Lola said. "It's like, ever since Hope's ER trip, my mom's snapped back into _mom_ mode. Like, she helps me give Hope a bath every night and even gets up with her in the middle of the night sometimes. And she's been packing my lunches for me, and— get this, she actually tried to give me a _bedtime_."

Miles snorted. "Well, I'm glad you guys are getting along, at least," he said. He gave Hope a tiny splash, making her giggle. "Think we ought to set a curfew for Hope, too? How's 1 a.m. sound?" he teased.

"Ha. Very funny." Lola sighed loudly as Frankie laughed loudly at something on her cell. What was _so_ damn interesting that she couldn't tell Lola, her best friend and future sister-in-law about? She doggy paddled over to the shore. "Who you texting, Franks?"

Frankie didn't glance up. "No one. Sheesh."

Lola rolled her eyes. "Bull," she said, smirking. "C'mon. What's his name? I _know_ there's a boy."

Frankie finally set her phone down, the color suddenly draining from her cheeks. "Uh. Well... actually—"

But before Frankie could even finish her sentence, they were interrupted by the sound of the backyard gate opening. The teasing smile quickly vanished from Lola's face and she suddenly wished she could sink as far down into the pool as possible. "Oh," she gulped. "...Shay."

Shay stopped in her tracks too. "Oh," she said. Frankie just sat there awkwardly, eyes glued to her phone. Lola glanced at Miles out of the corner of her eye. He wasn't glaring at Shay or anything, but he definitely had a... _look_ on his face. That same protectiveness he had in his eyes whenever someone messed with one of the twins or got a little too close to Hope. As much as Lola didn't want to involve him in her friend drama, it did make her happy to know he had her back.

"Um," Lola stammered, "I can just go—"

"Wait." Shay took a deep breath. "Actually— do you have a second, Lola? Just to talk?"

Lola hesitated for a second. She glanced back at Miles. "Watch the baby for a minute?" she said to him. She hopped out of the pool, her tiny body dripping wet and freezing in her bikini. She immediately reached for her towel— she was still so insecure about her post-baby body— and followed Shay through the gate and around to the front steps of the house.

Both girls sat down on the front porch, Shay staring off into the sky and Lola clinging anxiously to her towel like a little kid with a blanket.

"So..." Lola said, shrugging her shoulders. She and Shay had fought _plenty_ of times before— over Tiny, volleyball ranks, the whole closet stunt at girls' night— but they'd never gone weeks without speaking like this. Whenever they fought before, Lola always knew they would make up the next day. But this time, things were different.

Shay finally tore her eyes away from the sky and snapped back into focus. "So, um, I take it Hope's okay? No concussions or anything?"

"How did you—" Lola started. "Oh. Your mom told you."

"Yeah.."

"Hope's fine," Lola said. She bit her tongue, chuckling a little. "I mean, her _mom_ is an idiot... but Hope's fine."

"Hey, don't call yourself that," Shay said. There was an awkward pause between the two of them. Shay sighed. "Look, Lo, I... I'm sorry I've been freezing you out. I was just upset that you didn't have time to hang out all the time anymore and I was hurt when you forgot my track meet. I felt like I didn't matter to you anymore, and I just kinda... blew up."

"I'm sorry too," Lola said. She felt a giant weight fall off her chest; she was just so relieved to be talking again. "You were right to be mad at me for missing that track meet. And I should have made more time for you. Just because I have Hope now doesn't mean I shouldn't still be there for my friends."

Shay nodded, looking equally relieved. "And I also just didn't really know how to talk to you anymore. I mean, you're a _mom_ now— the only thing I know about teen pregnancy is the horror stories my mom's told me from the hospital."

"You don't have to talk to me about that stuff, though," Lola frowned. "I'm still the same age as you. Sometimes, I just wanna feel _normal_. Like..." She sighed. "Last year when I was pregnant, it felt like you didn't wanna be seen with me. Like you were kinda judging me along with everyone else at school."

"I didn't mean to," Shay said. "Honestly. I was just kinda shocked. I mean, you didn't even tell me you'd had sex."

"Things were weird back then," Lola shrugged. "You were all about Tiny, Miles was still sorta involved with Tristan, Frankie was going crazy over Jonah... it was all just complicated." She zoned out for a second, thinking back to that time:

 _Lola slumped onto the floor of the school bathroom, leaning against Shay and moaning. "Ugh," she mumbled, clutching her stomach. "How much longer is this nausea gonna last?"_

 _Shay flipped through the pregnancy handbook she'd swiped from her mom's medical book collection. "Umm... it says most morning sickness ends by the 13th week."_

 _"Great. So I'm stuck hurling like this the rest of the semester," Lola said. "God, this_ sucks _! I haven't felt this bad since I got food poisoning in Argentina in the 8th grade."_

 _"Yeah, well," Shay shrugged. "It is what it is." The bell rang. "Let's get to class."_

 _"Are you crazy?!" Lola moaned. "I'm not leaving this stall."_

 _"But there could be a quiz," Shay said._

 _"Yeah. And...?"_

 _Shay sighed, looking antsy as the second bell rang. "We can't skip class just because you're... pregnant." She said the word like a whisper, even though there was no one around. "And anyway, shouldn't_ Miles _be the one sitting here with you?"_

 _Lola just hung her head. "Probably, yeah. But just stay with me for awhile longer. Please? I need my girl right now."_

 _"I'm sorry, Lo... I can't miss class," Shay shrugged, vaguely apologetic. "I have to keep my grades up for track and—" There was a quiet creaking sound. "I think someone's coming. Here, take this." She tossed Lola the book frantically, like a hot potato she desperately didn't want to be associated with. She glanced back at Lola as she turned to leave. "Saltines, remember?"_

 _Lola couldn't hide her annoyance. "Yeah..." she muttered, frowning. "Cause_ that _solves everything."_

Lola paused for a minute, then took a deep breath. "But I... I don't want our friendship to be complicated. I don't wanna fight anymore— I want us to be able to talk to each other about everything. Even when it's ugly."

"I'm in," Shay said quickly. "I'm tired of fighting. And I... I really missed you, Lo."

Lola finally let herself smile. "God, I missed you _too."_ She pulled Shay into a hug and squeezed her tightly. "No more fighting. Not over boys or babies or _anything_."

Shay laughed. "No more fighting," she smiled, squeezing Lola back. "I really did miss you a lot. And Hope too— she's already grown up so much since I saw her last."

" _Tell_ me about it," Lola giggled. She stood up and motioned for Shay to follow her around back. "C'mon and say hi to her— she's missed her auntie."

Lola threw her towel to the ground and skipped across the grass in her bare feet, so much happiness in her heart. She hadn't realized how much she had missed Shay, how much their fight had been weighing her down. They'd always been a package deal, her and Frankie and Shay, and it'd felt beyond strange the past few weeks.

Frankie finally looked up from her phone as Shay and Lola skipped into the backyard together. "You guys finally made up? Thank. _God_. I was so sick of all the drama."

"Yeah, yeah, everything's good again," Lola said, wanting to roll her eyes a little. _Like Frankie wasn't the queen of drama._ "Wait! Where's the baby?!"

"Oh, she's inside with my mom," Frankie shrugged. "Miles had to help Hunter carry groceries in."

Lola froze. "He... what now?"

Frankie looked at Lola like she was a complete airhead. " _Groceries_ , Lo?"

"No, no, not that.." Lola muttered, suddenly all worked up. "If Hunter's home, then I gotta go. I can't... the baby..."

"What? Why, what's the big deal?" Frankie said. Shay looked equally confused. "I thought you two were cool now since he's been helping out with Hope a lot and—"

"He's been _what_?!"

Frankie went quiet all of a sudden. "...oh. Miles didn't tell you."

"No... no, he sure didn't!" The giddy expression Lola'd had just a second ago was far gone.

Frankie gulped. She didn't know what exactly had gone down between Lola and Hunter— but she sure as hell knew that look on Lola's face. "Wait. Lola—"

But Lola had already sprinted into the Hollingsworth house. " _MILES!"_


	161. Making up is Hard to do, Part 1

Wasn't planning on updating tonight, but I had a sudden wave of inspiration. Kind of a rusty chapter, but here you go xx

 **Making Up is Hard to Do, Part 1**

After Lola stormed out of the kitchen, Hope strapped to her chest and her bathing suit still dripping wet under her coverup, Miles followed her all the way down the block. She wasn't running from him, exactly, but she was pacing so furiously that he was hardly able to keep up. " _Lola,_ just stop for a second!" he shouted. But still, Lola kept walking.

Finally, Lola spun around and made eye contact. She didn't say anything... just stared at him, waiting. She had her hand wrapped over Hope protectively — the baby clung to Lola and darted her little eyes back and forth between her parents, as though she knew something big was about to go down.

"Lola," Miles sighed, out of breath, "just let me explain—"

Lola turned away again. "No, you know what?" she snapped, in a tone Miles hadn't heard from her in ages. "Don't even bother. I'm... I'm so angry I can't even look at you right now."

"I didn't mean to hide it from you!" Miles tried. "I wanted to talk to you about Hunter. I _tried_ talking to you about him. But you never wanted to hear it, you just wouldn't let his mistake go and—"

" _Mistake?_ He throws a glass at our daughter and you call that a _mistake?!_ " Lola stared down at the ground for a second, fidgeting.

They were both silent now. Hope too.

"Uber's here," Lola muttered as a black sudan pulled up in the distance. She still didn't look at Miles.

"Where are you even going?" Miles said, his voice tense.

But Lola just stepped into the car. Hope stared at her dad, whining a little. " _Seriously?!"_ Miles cried. "You're not even gonna tell me where you're taking my kid?"

"She's _our_ kid, Miles. And obviously, I'm the only one who knows what's best for her right now!" She started to roll the window up.

"Lola, wait—"

But the car drove off. Miles watched as Hope peered out the window, her little finger pressed up against the glass like she was reaching back for him.

Miles just stood there for a minute, completely lost for words. He and Lola had their moments, but they never fought like _this_ , they never just took off without resolving things... and it scared the hell out of him.

He felt a deep pit in his stomach as he walked around the block aimlessly. He couldn't... god, the thought of losing her... he couldn't even stand to think about it. Lola wasn't his first love, but she'd shown him a different kind of love. With Tristan, with Maya, Esme and Zoe, even, Miles had just kind of... clung to them. He'd needed someone, because he couldn't stand the idea of being alone. But Lola was different. She had saved him, but not in a cliche way. No, she'd helped him save _himself_. He liked who he was with Lola. He wasn't pretending or running from his issues. He was just genuinely, truly happy. He was himself. A teen pregnancy from a one-night stand/affair didn't exactly seem like the start of an epic romance, but... Miles couldn't help but feel that if Lola hadn't knocked on his bedroom door that night, he'd still be a complete mess. Or worse.

 _How was he going to fix this?_

 **Lola** stormed into the cantina, still so upset. She was furious at Miles, not so much for letting Hunter around the baby, but for lying about it and hiding it from her. She couldn't believe he would do something like that, go behind her back when it came to Hope. She knew she was being a bit of a hypocrite, having lied to him months ago about Hope not going to daycare and all, but she thought they were past that type of thing. She thought they told each other everything now, that they could _trust_ each other.

"Whoa. You okay?"

Lola snapped herself out of it, noticing Saad standing there wiping tables. Hope perked up at the sight of him, cooing a little.

Lola let out a slight laugh under her breath. "Ha. Not so much.." She rubbed Hope's back for a minute and just sighed. She was glad she'd run into Saad, an actual good friend, and not one of her nosy coworkers who would tell her dad gossip. Saad had always been easy to talk to.

Saad frowned, looking worried. "Something happen with the baby? Is she okay?"

"No, no, Hope's fine. It's just.." She paused for a sec, not sure if she should spill all the details right here, to her ex-boyfriend and all. But she trusted Saad and she really needed a listening ear right now. "It's just... Miles," Lola finally said.

"Oh." Saad shrugged awkwardly. "I'm sorry." Hope reached out towards him— he glanced at Lola to double check, then took the baby into his arms. Lola couldn't help but soften her expression a little, seeing Hope all happy around him like this.

"I thought I could trust him," Lola blurted out suddenly. "How am I supposed to trust him with Hope when he can't even be honest with me? How... how are we supposed to get _married_ if we're not honest with each other?" She paused suddenly, her face red. "God, maybe everyone's right, maybe I'm too young for all this stuff. I'm crazy, aren't I?"

"I... I have no idea what you're talking about," Saad admitted. "But no, you're not crazy." He bounced Hope up and down on his shoulder. He paused for a second. "Look. Are you... are you happy with him? Do you love him?"

"Yeah," Lola said right away. "Yeah. Of course."

Saad stared down at the floor for a second. "Okay, well, then," he said quietly, not quite looking at her. "You'll work it out. If there's anything I know for sure about you it's that you always find a way to make things work somehow." He handed Hope back to her.

"Mama," Hope babbled, reaching for her nose.

Lola cuddled the baby tightly. "Yeah.." she sighed. "Whatever it takes, right?"

Saad's expression softened. "Yeah," he chuckled quietly. "Whatever it takes." He glanced at the line of customers, who looked less than patient. "I should get back to work. Do you want me to get your dad, or —"

"No, that's okay," Lola shrugged. She just needed to sit and think about all this for a bit. She took a seat at any empty table, so tired— physically, mentally, emotionally. She looked into Hope's little green eyes, a perfect mirror of Miles'. "Hey, Saad?"

Saad glanced back. "Hmm?"

Lola smiled. "I'm glad you picked me to be your lab partner last year."

Saad smiled. "Me too."

After Saad left, Lola sank back into her chair, tracing her fingers around her ring. _Trust_ , she thought to herself. _She needed to be able to trust Miles._


	162. Making up is Hard to do, Part 2

First off, sorry it took so long to update— I've been super busy with school and I honestly lost momentum with writing for awhile. But I had an amazing surprise on my birthday a few weeks ago when Amanda Arcuri (Lola) Tweeted that she started reading this fic and likes it! If you've stuck with the story for this long, thank you! I just looked and I'm up to almost 80,000 views for this story total. I really can't express how grateful I am to all my readers. Once again, thank you. I honestly don't think I've ever worked so hard on a chapter before this. It's really long, definitely my longest ever, but I'm proud of it and I hope you guys enjoy it. Here's part 2:

 **Making Up Is Hard To Do, Part 2**

Lola sat on the edge of her bed sorting laundry that Sunday evening, folding what seemed like an endless amount of baby clothes. The weather had changed abruptly— just yesterday it had been perfect pool weather, but now it was pouring rain, the kind that made you want to just crawl into bed and bury yourself under a million blankets.

Hope sat near the bed, happily playing in the laundry basket like it was some exciting new toy. "Mama daga baba!" Hope said, chewing on a sock.

Lola noticed and rushed over to take the sock. "Hope! No, no—"

Lola froze. It was one of Miles' socks— he must have left it here and it had gotten mixed up with Hope's laundry.

"Bahhh?" Hope babbled in confusion.

Lola sighed, feeling a dull ache in her stomach. "C'mere, baby," she cooed. She scooped Hope into her arms and sat with her on the bed, just trying to find some comfort. As much of a handful as Hope could be, at the end of the day, nothing made Lola feel safer than cuddling her baby like this.

Lola had been freezing Miles out since yesterday afternoon, not answering a single call and only briefly texting back, _"Hope's fine."_ She knew it wasn't really fair to be doing the whole silent treatment thing, but she was just still _so_ angry. She'd thought about Saad's advice— _you'll work it out, just trust him —_ but she just... couldn't. It scared her honestly, how upset she was with Miles. She didn't want things to be this way, she didn't want to be like her parents, splitting at the first sign of trouble. It wasn't like she was _actually_ considering breaking up with Miles over this— she still loved him like crazy. But for whatever reason, she just couldn't shake this scared feeling in her, no matter how much she desperately wanted to.

Lola's phone went off again just then. Expecting it to be Miles again, she almost didn't even look at it. But then she noticed Yael's name on the screen:

 _Where are you?!_ the text read. _Vlogging meeting's about to start._

"Shoot!" Lola muttered aloud to herself. She'd completely forgotten about the meeting. She wasn't particularly eager about spending any of her weekend at school, and she was even less enthusiastic about the idea of having to see Hunter. But she couldn't bail on another meeting; she'd already missed too many, and besides, she'd promised Yael. _Crap—_ what was she supposed to do with Hope? Lola sure wasn't going to bring her to the meeting, and she definitely wasn't about to drop her off at Miles' right now.

Lola carried Hope and wandered into the hallway. " _Dad_...?" she called.

But Lola's mother answered instead. "He's working late tonight, Mija," she said, glancing up from the book she was reading.

"Phooey."

Mrs. Pacini closed her book. "What do you need?"

"I... I've got this vlogging thing I have to go to," Lola said. Hope squirmed around in her arms, reaching for Lola's ponytail. "But I can't take Hope with me, and—"

" _I'm_ here. Just leave the baby home with me— I don't mind watching her."

Lola stumbled on her words for a second. "Oh.. really?" she said, a little apprehensive. She'd never left Hope alone with just her mom before. It wasn't that she didn't trust her mother to be able to take care of Hope, but it admittedly still felt kind of strange, this understanding they had come to.

Mrs. Pacini shook her head. "Of _course_ ," she said, taking Hope into her arms. "Really, Mija. You act like I know nothing about babies— you were this age once too."

"..right. Um. Well, thanks," Lola said. She sighed for a second, still a little uneasy, then gave Hope a kiss on her forehead. "Be good, baby," she added, zipping up her raincoat.

"Dada?" Hope babbled, glancing around the living room like she was looking for Miles. "Dada da—"

Lola felt that ache in her stomach again.

 **Meanwhile** at the Hollingsworth house, Frankie stood in the kitchen cooking up a storm, making practically enough food to feed all the customers at Lola's Cantina. Everyone in the Hollingsworth household had been sort of tense lately, herself included. Esme had decided to stay at a local hotel for awhile, keeping her safe from her dad but still allowing her to check in on her siblings. She'd told Frankie it was the best possible solution for now— she still had a good amount of money and could bide some time, hopefully get a job and an apartment or something eventually. She seemed... _stable_ , at least the most stable that Esme Song could be.

Frankie didn't quite know what to do with herself now that she wasn't devoting every minute to her "save Esme" mission. A part of her just wanted to forget the last few weeks, forget what she was feeling. The other part of her jumped every time Esme texted.

Like just then. Esme oomfchated her a picture of a burnt looking pizza, captioning it "room service sucks." Frankie replied with a picture of the pasta she was cooking and a smiley face, her heart racing way too fast to think of a proper text. She hated feeling like this, all nervous and spacey. She needed to distract herself.

Miles came downstairs right then, looking all worked up. His clothes were all wrinkled, his hair was a mess, and he looked like he'd barely slept all weekend. "Hi," he mumbled, walking right past Frankie.

"Hey, Miles!" Frankie said, in a way that sounded _way_ too enthusiastic. She cringed a little. "I uh... I cooked dinner. I thought since Mom is over at her boyfriend's, we could have like, I don't know... a sibling night?"

"Baaz picked Hunter up an hour ago," Miles muttered. He had his eyes glued his phone, hardly listening to a word Frankie said.

"Oh. Okay, well, how about just you and me then? I made ravioli."

Miles didn't say anything, still on his phone.

Frankie coughed, getting a little annoyed. "Ahem. _Brother_?"

"Hmm?"

Frankie rolled her eyes. "Look, I know you and Lola are fighting, but can you put your phone down for five seconds? I'm trying to... I don't know, _bond_ here."

Miles finally glanced up, still looking all frantic. His expression reminded Frankie of how he'd acted back when Tristan was in the hospital or just before Hope was born— he was definitely out of it. "Yeah, yeah, sorry," he said. "I... sorry, Frankenstein. I gotta go—" He turned towards the front door.

"What? Go where?! I just cooked all this for us!"

Miles just shook his head, his mind clearly set. "I gotta go see Hope." He glanced back at his sister, vaguely sorry. "We'll... we'll hang out another time, alright?"

Frankie groaned. "What am I supposed to do with all of this food?"

"I'm sure you'll find some handsome suitor to take my place."

The pasta started boiling over just as Miles shut the door behind him.

 **Lola** rushed in late to the vlogging meeting, just as Yael was giving their presentation. "Sorry, sorry!" Lola cried. She didn't look at Hunter as she sat down next to Vijay, the furthest possible seat away from him. Hunter didn't look particularly thrilled to see her either.

"It's okay," Yael said to Lola, clearly a little annoyed at her tardiness but still trying to be chill. "So, we were just talking analytics. We've only got a couple of months left in the school year and I think we really need to get our views up."

Lola felt her cell vibrate again— she tried to resist the urge to text her mom and check up on Hope. "Um, okay," she said, a little spaced out. "How.. how can I help?"

Hunter scoffed under his breath.

Lola turned to him. "I'm sorry? Did you have something to say to me?" She raised her brow.

Hunter just shrugged, giving her a less than genuine smile. "Nah."

"No, go ahead," Lola said, smiling back as if to say _I dare you_. Vijay, Baaz, and Yael all exchanged glances, clearly uncomfortable.

"Well, it would just help if you would actually get your videos in on time. Y'know, like _everyone_ else on the team does."

Yael groaned. "Hunter—"

"Gee, sorry for having other responsibilities," Lola scoffed back. " _Some_ of us have things to do other than play Realm of Doom all day."

"Yeah, and just because you have a kid we should let you off the hook for all your deadlines? You haven't turned anything in for at least a month." Hunter tossed his hands up. "I mean, I'm just saying. Seems like you have a privilege no one else on the team does."

Lola sat up straight. "Oh _, you want to talk privilege_?!"

"Guys—" Baaz said.

"Lola—" Yael piped up. Vijay just sat there wide-eyed, looking like he was almost enjoying the drama.

But Lola couldn't stop now. She was on a roll, feeling the same way she had that first day of junior year in law class when she told Shay to go to hell— only this time, she felt something much stronger in her bones. Her whole tiny body was shaking. "You get away with _everything_!" she shouted. "Everyone babies you more than Miles and I baby our actual _child_. I literally don't get it?!" She stopped to catch her breath, just so worked up. "If Miles wants to forgive you, _fine_. But I don't!"

Yael stood up suddenly. "You know what, meeting adjourned—"

"You don't have to leave," Hunter mumbled to them.

"This... seems like a personal problem," Vijay shrugged.

"Yeah, my dad wants me home anyway," Baaz added. They all scurried out of the media room, all looking more than uncomfortable.

The room fell silent after Baaz shut the door behind him, leaving just Lola and Hunter sitting across from each other. They just stared at each other, neither of them moving or speaking.

Finally, Lola decided to get up and leave. She was still shaking and blinking back tears. But just as she reached for the door, Hunter grabbed her arm. "Lola."

Lola didn't say anything, just reached for the door handle.

"Lola," Hunter said again. He paused for a moment and let out a deep breath. Lola finally glanced back at him— there was a seriousness in his eyes that she seldom saw. "I... you're right."

Lola froze. "What?"

"You're right, okay? I fucked up big time and— you're right to be mad." Hunter sighed. "I... I didn't mean to put Hope in danger. I just totally lost it. I..." He looked down. "I don't wanna be that guy ever again, okay? I'm sorry. I'm _really_ honest to god sorry."

Lola just stood there for a second, honestly thrown off. She'd expected Hunter to keep arguing with her, even try to fire her again. She didn't _want_ to give in, she didn't want to accept his apology, but she'd never seen him like this before. He really did seem sorry, like the guilt had been secretly eating at him all this time.

Lola knew Hunter had tried to apologize to her before, but she had always blown him off, not wanting to accept that maybe he _had_ just made a mistake, that he really hadn't meant to put her baby in any danger, that he really did feel bad. It had been easier for Lola to just stay angry at Hunter instead of actually dealing with things between them, she could admit.

"Okay," Lola finally said, her voice cracking a little. "I... I believe you."

"You do?"

Lola nodded shakily, still blinking back tears. "I just got so _scared_. I mean, I know you wouldn't hurt Hope on purpose. But I just couldn't stop thinking about what could have happened to her, and—" She burst into tears.

"Whoa," Hunter said. "Uh... I..." He patted her on the shoulder awkwardly, looking super uncomfortable.

Lola wiped her eyes, suddenly embarrassed. "Sorry. It's okay," she said quietly. "I'm okay." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for yelling at you today. And... well. I think maybe it's time for me to finally let this thing go. Grudges are _so_ tiring, and—" She offered him a small smile. "I mean. You _are_ her uncle."

Hunter smiled back a tiny bit. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."

 **Back** at the Hollingsworths', Frankie sat down to dinner by herself, a giant frown on her face. Normally, she'd give anything to have the house to herself, but tonight it just felt _too_ empty. Bored, she pulled out a fashion magazine Lola had left behind and flipped through the pages as she ate. She flipped to the horoscope section:

 _Gemini_ , the magazine read. _Love is in the air. Take a risk; it will pay off._ Frankie rolled her eyes.

Just then, there was a chiming sound at the front door. Frankie glanced up from the magazine— who could that be? Lola? Shay? Hunter forgetting his key again?

" _Esme_?!"

Esme was just standing there totally drenched from the storm, her hair somehow still in a perfect braid. "You gonna let me in or what? It's freezing out here."

Frankie could already feel her heart pounding. "I— what... what are you doing here?"

Esme walked through the door and hung her coat up, apparently taking that as a _yes._ "I thought it was obvious. You have too much food, I have shitty room service. It's a win-win, no?"

"I mean... I guess..."

"That oomfchat _was_ an invitation for dinner, right?"

Frankie tossed her hands up in defeat, finally just giving in. Once Esme Song had her mind made up, there was no use trying to talk her out of it. And, well, as much as Frankie wanted to hide out and avoid her feelings forever, she couldn't help but be kind of glad Esme had barged in. "Yeah, make yourself at home."

 **Lola** walked towards her house as it got dark, tired as hell and still processing everything that had just happened. Hunter had offered her a ride, but she'd decided to just walk and clear her head. She'd almost been tempted to take him up on the offer, though — as furious as she'd been with him the past month, she had to admit that she had sort of missed whatever their kind-of friendship was, back when they would goof off together during vlogging and when he would make silly faces at Hope while Lola got her ready for bed. They weren't exactly going to become BFFs over night, but they were going to be okay, the two of them.

The trouble was, Lola still didn't know just where that left her and Miles. Now that she wasn't fuming over Hunter, she supposed she should at least try to talk to Miles and get to the root of the problem. She dialed his number on her cell as she fumbled with her house key, still a little shaky.

But as soon as Lola opened the front door, she dropped her phone at what she saw: Miles sitting next to her mother on the couch, Hope in his lap. He and Mrs. Pacini were just sitting around casually, looking like they'd been chatting for awhile. "What is he doing here?" Lola said to her mother.

Miles's face looked like a deer in the headlights as he made eye contact with Lola, like he wasn't sure whether to run or not. "I was just... dropping by..." he gulped.

Mrs. Pacini shrugged. "I told him you'd be home soon, and he said he'd wait so—"

Lola laughed under her breath. "Great. I hope you two are having a nice chat."

"Lo, come on," Miles sighed, fed up. "Stop it."

"Ma? Mama?" Hope babbled, looking a little anxious, like she could sense the tension between her parents.

Mrs. Pacini stood up. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but, I guess I should give you two a minute alone." She walked towards her bedroom but left the door open, her way of assuring the teenagers she still had her eye on them.

Miles sighed. "Look, I just wanted to talk. I'm sorry for showing up like this, but I didn't know what else to do. You weren't answering my calls."

Lola didn't look at him still. "I just... I didn't know what to say."

"I know I messed up, alright?" Miles said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you. But you can't just shut me out. It's not fair. I mean, what if something had happened to Hope, or—"

Lola took Hope into her arms, holding her tightly like a teddy bear. "I told you the baby was fine."

"That's not the point, Lo."

Lola was quiet for a second. "Hunter and I talked things through," she finally said.

Miles sat up, surprised. "You— you did?"

Lola nodded. "Yeah. He and I are okay now. He apologized for real, and I realized I needed to just finally let it go." Her expression finally softened a tiny bit. "I mean. Holding a long grudge was seriously bad for my skin."

Miles smiled a little, looking more than relieved. "Well, I'm glad." He paused. "But... where does that leave us?"

Hope squirmed around in Lola's lap, reaching towards Miles. "Daaa," she cooed.

Lola handed Hope over to him. "I think... I think from now on, we both need to be honest with each other. _Always_. Even when it's hard and scary." She shrugged. "I mean, I was _so_ mad at you for lying, but I know I'm not exactly a saint either. I lied to you about Hope's daycare a few months ago, and I made the decision to move out without even talking to you first, and—" She glanced down at Hope. "I just always wanna do what's best for her. But being a parent is _so_ hard. You know?"

Miles looked at her and smirked as if to say, _no shit_. "Yeah. I agree— no more lying."

Lola finally smiled. "No more lying." She leaned in and kissed him, savoring the feeling more than she ever had. She was still exhausted, and everything was far from perfect, but her and Miles and Hope were going to be okay — and that was all that mattered to her. She fell into his arms and they held Hope between them, everything suddenly just feeling right.

"Mama, Dada," Hope cooed.

Miles gently ran his fingers through Lola's hair. "Um. Hey, Lo?"

"Hmm?"

"As long as we're being honest about everything—" He bit his lip, suddenly looking nervous. "I'm flunking creative writing."

Lola sat up and just stared at him for a second. Then, to Miles' surprise, she burst into laughter.

"It's not funny!" Miles said. Though, for some reason, he found himself laughing too. Hope giggled along with them.

"Sorry, sorry— it's just—" Lola couldn't stop laughing. "God. We really _are_ messes, aren't we?"

Miles shook his head. "Yeah," he chuckled. He kissed the top of her forehead. "But you're _my_ mess."

They sat there holding each other, Hope still nuzzled up between them. Somehow, it felt like enough.

 **"You** should _totally_ be a chef."

Frankie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right— I almost burnt this ravioli.""No, seriously," Esme said, her mouth full of pasta. "This is bomb. _So_ much better than that nasty hotel food."

"How is it being in a hotel?" Frankie said. "Is it... okay?"

"I mean, it's no penthouse, but it's fine. It works out, at least for now." Esme finished chewing and tossed her fork on her plate. "Hey, um. I don't think I ever really thanked you. Y'know, for getting me out of that house and all."

Frankie felt her cheeks turn red. "No biggie," she said quickly.

"No, really— if you hadn't swooped in, I would still be stuck dealing with my shitty father." Esme tilted her chair back. "I've been talking with a social worker, you know. I'm going to get my siblings away from him, one way or another. It's not gonna be easy, but I'm trying my damndest. Ms. Grell has been helping set up meetings, even." She reached across the table for Frankie's hand suddenly, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Frankie smiled as Esme put her hand in hers. Her stomach fluttered again and her heart was racing fast. _So_ fast. God. "That's awesome," she managed to say. "You're— _you're_ awesome. I—"

Suddenly, they were interrupted by a loud _BEEP BEEP BEEP_.

" _Crap_!" Frankie shouted. She rushed into the kitchen, where a thick cloud of smoke was brewing and metal sparks were flying amongst a wave of orange. "I must've left the stove on!"

Frankie threw a wet rag at the flame, frantically trying to stop it before it got out of control. _Deja vu_ , she couldn't help but think. But the fire didn't stop.

"Frankie, FRANKIE!" Esme shouted suddenly. "Stay back!" She shoved her aside and yanked the fire extinguisher off the wall, braving the smoke. She doused the fire with the extinguisher, putting it out like it was no big deal. Gradually, the flames disappeared and the smoke let up. The sound of the smoke alarm faded and Frankie just stood there wide-eyed and mouth open, totally astounded at Esme's ability to solve a crisis in a matter of seconds. For a girl people at Degrassi had called a "walking disaster," Esme was certainly good at diverting them somehow.

Esme calmly put the extinguisher back, not even looking rattled. " _Okay_ ," she said. "Okay, everything's okay. Nothing burnt down, nobody passed out. Everything is totally and completely fi—"

Frankie just couldn't take it anymore. She'd tried to hold these feelings back, tried to make them go away. But she couldn't avoid them any longer. Without even stopping to think about it, she pulled Esme in and kissed her. They lingered for a second, Frankie savoring the feeling of Esme's lips against hers. It felt almost electric between them, like a fire that couldn't be put out.

Esme slowly pulled away. "Wow," she said simply.

 _Wow_ _?!_ Frankie thought. What the hell was _wow_ supposed to mean? "Esme, I—"

"So, wanna watch a rom-com?"

Frankie stared at her in disbelief. Sure, it wasn't technically the first time they'd kissed, since Frankie had pecked her on the lips during that dare last year for like, half a second. And it certainly wasn't the first time they'd been close physically. And if she was honest, Frankie had a feeling this wasn't the first time Esme had kissed a girl like that. But still. Frankie thought this moment was different. That it had been... _special_. "Esme, I— I just kissed you."

Esme just grinned. "I know, silly, I was there!" She reached up towards the cabinets, pulling down two wine glasses like it was her own kitchen. "Now, do your parents still have that liquor cabinet? It feels like a Rosé type of night."

Frankie just shook her head. "Yeah," she mumbled. "Yeah, come on."

Frankie and Esme sat on Frankie's bed, watching _The Devil Wears Prada_ on her laptop. Frankie didn't expect her mom to be home tonight, but she didn't want to risk Miles or Hunter walking in and seeing Esme. Oh god, what _was_ it with the Hollingsworths and this girl? It was like Esme'd somehow put a spell on all of them. Even if this feeling was somehow mutual, how did Frankie know she wasn't just another Hollingsworth to check off Esme's list? What made Frankie feel like she was any more special than anyone else Esme had been with?

"Meryl Streep is such an icon," Esme mused, sipping on her second glass of wine.

Frankie didn't say anything. She was trying to just focus on the movie, but her head was honestly still completely in the clouds.

Esme looked over at Frankie curiously. "What do you think of Anne Hathaway's shoes?"

Frankie still didn't say anything.

Esme poked her playfully. " _Frankie_. Earth to Frankie."

"Huh?" Frankie said, flinching a little at Esme's touch.

"I asked what you thought of her shoes."

"Oh. They're.. fine?"

Esme raised her brow. "That's funny, since she's not wearing any in this scene."

Frankie sat up suddenly, unable to stand it any longer. "Esme," she said, the words just rolling off her tongue like she couldn't even control them. "I like you. I _like_ you like you. Not as a friend, not as one of Zig's girlfriends... I _like_ you."

Esme stared at Frankie for a second. A smile slowly spread across her face. She reached for Frankie's hand. "I know."

"You... what?"

"I know you like me." Esme didn't say anything else, just... smiled. Her eyes lingered on Frankie as she leaned in closer, holding her hand tightly. They didn't kiss. They didn't even say a word. They just sat there watching the movie, holding hands.

And somehow, that was enough.


	163. Vacation, Part 1

**Vacation, Part 1**

Miles sat at the table groggily eating cereal, feeling a headache coming on. He'd convinced Lola to let him take Hope for the night so she could catch up on sleep— plus, he'd missed having Hope here— but now he felt like he needed to sleep for ten years himself. Hope had woken up several times last night, sometimes hungry, sometimes needing her diaper changed, and other times just wanting attention. Miles had been beyond grumpy going to get Hope for the _fifth_ time last night, only to be greeted by her smiling at him and cooing angellically, "Dada!"

"Dammit," Miles had muttered under his breath. He shook his head and smiled. "How could I possibly be mad at _that_?"

Hope certainly did have everyone wrapped around her little finger. The Hollingsworth house was a mess with baby stuff these days, practically covered in toys. Mrs. H had been on a shopping frenzy lately, coming home each day with some new stuffed animal or baby gadget, saying she just _had_ to have it. Miles wondered if he ought to put a stop to it— he didn't want Hope growing up spoiled— but for now, he was just happy he could have the baby around his whole family again without fuss.

His headache wasn't getting any better, though— especially not with Hope banging on her new baby piano. She _loved_ music lately, a little too much.

Mrs. H came into the room just then, looking just as frazzled. "Miles, I—"

 _Bam bam bam_

Miles couldn't hear her over the music. "Huh?"

 _La-da-DA_

"I wanted to discuss—"

 _Beep-BOOP-ba_

"What?!"

 _LA-DEE-DA_

"Oh, for PETE'S SAKE—" Mrs. H finally yanked the keyboard away and shut it off. "I've never heard such an obnoxious toy!"

Miles couldn't help but laugh under his breath. "You're the one who bought it for Hope."

Mrs. H sighed, looking relieved to finally have some quiet. "Remind me to stay away from the music section next time."

The quiet didn't last long. _WAHHHH!_ Hope wailed, upset that the music was gone. Miles just shook his head at his mother, scooping Hope into his lap. "So what'd you want to talk about?"

Mrs. H took a seat next to them. "Well, I've been thinking, since you kids have next Monday off from school, it might be nice to go on... I don't know, a little family _getaway_. Just for the long weekend."

Miles raised his eyebrow. "Since when do we do "getaways?"" Growing up, most Hollingsworth family vacations happened while Miles was away at boarding school or some summer camp, just like his dad wanted it. Miles remembered getting a postcard one year from Frankie and Hunter from the bahamas while he was stuck at summer school halfway across the globe. _Wish you were here_ , the postcard said. _I doubt it_ , Miles thought.

"Since I decided we need to spend more time together as a family," Mrs. H said. "Plus, Raymond found this lovely little beach cottage that's just _perfect_."

Hope stuck her little hand in Miles' cereal bowl. "Wait... your boyfriend's coming along?" Miles pried Hope's hand away. "I thought you said this was a family thing."

"It is," Mrs. H said simply.

Miles didn't know how to respond to that, exactly. He liked his mother's boyfriend fine— he definitely preferred his mom see him than their dad again— but it's not like he knew Raymond all that well, certainly not well enough that he considered him family. "In that case, I'm bringing Lola too."

Mrs. H took a deep breath. "I think you can handle going three days without your girlfriend, Miles."

"Well, I'm not leaving Hope behind," Miles said firmly. "And there's no way Lola will let me take her alone. Besides, you said Lola _is_ part of the family."

"Look, I don't think it's too much to ask for you to spend one weekend—" Mrs. H paused, looking at Hope. She looked like she'd entirely lost her train of thought, suddenly completely captivated by Hope's big green eyes and faint whimper. "...fine," Mrs. H sighed. "But separate bedrooms."

Miles grinned. "I'll call Lo this afternoon."

The front door opened just then and Frankie stomped in, still wearing the same outfit and heels from last night. "Well, look what the cat dragged in," Miles smirked.

"Oh good, you're finally home," Mrs. H said. "How was the sleepover? Did you have a good time at Lola's?"

Frankie's face turned slightly pale all of a sudden. "It was... fun, yeah," she muttered, fidgeting with her hair and staring down at the floor.

"Fwanks!" Hope squealed at Frankie happily. Miles chuckled— she was picking up new words quickly nowadays.

"Now, I wanted to discuss—" Mrs. H paused and frowned. "Wait. Where's your brother?"

"Probably asleep still," Miles shrugged.

"Or he's been playing Realm of Doom all night again," Frankie added.

Mrs. H shook her head. "Well, it's almost 10:30, he needs to get down here." She headed upstairs, adding, "He can't spend all _day_ locked in his room, what is this, a dungeon—"

Miles waited til his mother was gone, then turned to his sister. He studied her for a moment, clicking his tongue and doing that stupid smirk Frankie hated. "What?" she finally snapped.

"So... how was the sex?"

Frankie's face turned bright red. "Wha— what?!" she flustered.

"Well, I know for a fact that you weren't at Lola's last night because she spent all night oomfchating me," Miles said. "C'mon, sis. I know a walk of shame when I see one. No judgement, of course. But you could at least change your clothes next time."

Frankie groaned, knowing full well she was busted. Diana bought her story, but nothing got past Miles. "Well, for your _information_ ," she said. "We didn't do that. At least, not yet."

"Hmm," Miles said, still smirking. "Fascinating." Hope whacked the cereal bowl, spilling milk all over the table.

Frankie tossed Miles a paper towel and took Hope into her arms. "I don't even know if we're together," she sputtered, suddenly just spilling everything. "I mean, I know I like her. And I think she likes me. And we've been spending a lot of time together, but we haven't..." She sighed. "I don't know. We haven't really defined anything."

Miles raised his eyebrow. "So there _is_ a girl."

"Yeah," Frankie said. She finally smiled a tiny bit. "There is."

Miles finished cleaning the table. On one hand, he wanted to ask Frankie who it was, but on the other hand, he didn't particularly want to know the details of his little sister's dating life. "Well, just take your time, Frankenstein," he shrugged. "You don't have to label anything before you're ready."

"Amaa, Fwanks," Hope babbled at Frankie.

Frankie couldn't help but smile. "Is she trying to say _Auntie Franks_?"

"Yeah, I think so," Miles grinned.

Mrs. H finally came back downstairs, Hunter trailing grumpily behind her. "Why do I have to wake up early if it's the weekend?" he mumbled.

"It's almost _eleven_ ," Mrs. H muttered. "And besides, I dragged you out of bed for some _good_ news—" She paused, putting on that much too enthusiastic smile, the kind she used to use when the kids were little for things like, "You get to visit your Aunt Mildred! Isn't that great?" or "The dentist is fun!"

"Well..?" Frankie and Hunter said at the same time. Miles just slumped back in his chair and sipped his coffee.

"We're going on a family _vacation_!" Mrs. H said, smiling so forcefully it looked like her teeth would fall out. "We're going to a cottage on the beach next weekend. Won't that be _great_?"

Frankie and Hunter both immediately groaned.

"I don't even like the beach," Hunter mumbled.

"But I already made my plans for that weekend!" Frankie protested.

"Can I just photoshop myself in?" Hunter said.

"Me too," Frankie nodded.

Miles shrugged at his mom, as if to say _told you so._ But there was a look on her face that he kind of understood on a parent level. He still wasn't wild about this whole idea— and he knew Frankie would probably be dramatic as hell once she found out Raymond was tagging along— but he also knew his mom was just trying to do something fun as a family. Maybe even trying to make up for all those horrible times with their dad on some level. "Lola's coming," he said to Frankie, trying to get her on board.

"Oh!" Frankie said. "Well. I mean— I _guess_ I could move my plans..."

"Can I bring a friend too?" Hunter said.

Frankie snorted. "What friends do you have? The elves on Realm of Doom?"

Mrs. H ignored that. "Wonderful," she said. She nodded at Miles, as if to say, _thank you_. "I'll go call Raymond now!"

Frankie froze. "Raymond? But I thought this was—"

Hope spit up before Frankie could finish. "Oh, _gross!_ "

"Better get used to that," Miles chuckled, tossing Frankie a washcloth. "She gets carsick."


	164. Vacation Part, 2

So, sorry it's taking so long for them to get to the actual vacation part, there was more setup needed than I realized! Next chapter will have Mola again and will be on the actual trip. Hope you enjoy xx

 **Vacation, Part 2**

Lola hung up the phone and did a little dance, squealing the way she had when Miles had first told her, _sure, of course you can hang out with me_ that fateful girls'night.

A vacation. Their first vacation as a couple. As a _family_.

Mr. Pacini glanced up from the Spanish newspaper he was reading. "What was that all about?"

"Oh!" Lola flustered, suddenly embarrassed by her little dance— she hadn't even noticed her father sitting there at the kitchen table. "Well, uh, Miles' mom is taking him and Franks and their brother on a trip next weekend and she said me and Hope can come along! It's this really cute little cottage at the beach, about three hours from here?" She paced around the room, talking quickly. "I've never taken Hope out of town before, but I think it'll be so fun! I'll just have to pack a lot of toys to keep her entertained on the car ride and her favorite blanket, and— do they make sunscreen just for babies? Her skin's so sensitive."

Mr. Pacini frowned. "I don't think so, Lola."

"Darn. I guess I'll just have to use some regular sunblock on her, then."

"No, I meant, I don't think I want you _going_."

Lola froze. "Wha— what?" The huge grin that had been on her face just seconds ago quickly vanished, and she felt the color drain from her cheeks.

Mr. Pacini sighed. "Look, I know you lived with the Hollingsworths for quite some time," he said, his voice tense. "And as much as I didn't like you being away, at least I knew you were just around the corner. You spending a whole weekend hours away from home with the baby, with god knows what kind of supervision... that's a _lot_ to ask."

Lola just stood there for a second, completely caught off guard. It hadn't even occurred to her that her dad might forbid her to go, that he even _could_. Maybe she wasn't exactly the poster child for obedient daughter, but she'd managed to do pretty well for herself, all circumstances considered. Despite everything, she was still graduating on time, she helped out with the family business nearly every weekend, and, honestly, she felt like she had proven herself to be a pretty good mother. So where did her father get off thinking he could just ruin her plans like this?

"Well, I wasn't exactly _asking_ ," Lola said.

Mr. Pacini opened his mouth to say something, but before he could respond, the front door swung open. "Mija! Look who's home!" Mrs. Pacini called.

"Mama!" Hope squealed at Lola. Fernando jumped off the couch at the sound of the baby's voice and yipped happily, pouncing on Lola's mother.

" _There's_ my baby girl," Lola said, scooping Hope into her arms and kissing her. She silently thanked the universe for its impeccable timing. "Thanks for picking her up," she added to her mother. "I'll um, I'll see you guys later." She took Hope and walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind her without so much as a glance towards her father.

Lola dug through her closet and pulled out a suitcase. She was going on this vacation— whether her father liked it or not.

... **Frankie** laid on the edge of Esme's bed in the hotel room, still damp in her bikini from this afternoon's swim. They had just seen each other a few hours ago, but when Esme called her proclaiming that it was just _perfect_ weather for a swim at the hotel pool, Frankie jumped right into her car and drove over, yelling to her mom that she was going to Shay's. Admittedly, she didn't feel great about lying to her mother or keeping this secret from her brothers and friends— but there was also something kind of... _exciting_ about the whole secrecy thing. Whatever this was, it had to be worth the inevitable eventual storm. At least, that's what Frankie told herself.

Esme was busy pulling Frankie's hair into a braid, running her fingers all through her wet tangles. "You should totally just stay here while your family is on vacation," she mused. "I mean, think about it! Room service, hot tub, free HBO. Doesn't a staycation sound _so_ much better?"

Frankie rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Right. Over my mom's dead body."

"Seriously. Don't go."

"Esme, I have to!" Frankie said, laughing a little. "It's a family thing. Besides, I kind of want a vacation. And Lola's going, and we've barely spent any time together since she moved out. Plus, I don't wanna miss out on Hope's first time at the beach!"

Esme stopped braiding Frankie's hair. "You'd rather hang with Lola than me?"

"It's not like that," Frankie groaned. She sat up, grabbed Esme's hands. "Look, please don't make this into a big thing? I'm only going to be gone a couple of days."

Esme just sighed. "Whatever, I guess— say hi to Miles and Hunter for me."

Something in Frankie snapped suddenly. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, sheesh. I'm just joking."

"Are you only with me because... I mean, are we only hanging out because you and Hunter split?" Frankie said, her voice trembling. "Am I just another Hollingsworth to cross off your list?"

Esme just stared, completely caught off guard. "Frankie, Jesus. Calm down."

"I am taking a _huge_ risk for you, Esme. Going behind my brothers' backs... my twin's, even! And if this is just some stupid way for you to pass the time, if I'm just your latest pet—"

"Where is this coming from?!"

Frankie stopped and took a deep breath— maybe she _had_ gotten carried away. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry." She looked down. "But... can you blame me? The last time we were close, I got hurt. Seriously hurt. And I... I don't want that to happen again."

Esme was quiet for a second, like she was letting this all sink in. Frankie couldn't quite read the look on her face, but her eyes seemed... _sad._ "Look," Esme sighed. "I know I hurt you before. I've hurt... a _lot_ of people, actually. And I know it's really weird with Hunter and Miles and all—" She paused. "But the thing you have to understand, Frankie, it's _different_ with you. Miles, he was just the only person I had back then who tolerated me. I'd hardly call that a relationship. And Hunter... well, looking back, we really only were together because we were the only ones who didn't consider the other crazy. That's not love." She sat up, looking Frankie deep in the eye. "If I'm honest? The real reason I got close to Hunter was... because I missed you. Maybe I wasn't ready to admit it to myself yet, but it's... it's the truth. You were the only one who cared about me last year, Frankie. Like _really_ cared."

Frankie reached for Esme's hands, her own palms trembling like crazy. "Esme... what are we doing?"

"I think," Esme leaned in closer, "we're getting out of these swimsuits."

Frankie leaned in and kissed her harder than ever.

 **...A couple** of hours later, Lola was still packing. She knew they were only going to be gone a couple of days, but she wanted an outfit for every possible occasion. She hadn't been to the beach in _ages._

"What do you think of this romper?" Lola said, holding it up for Hope.

"Gah!" Hope babbled.

"You're right," Lola nodded, frowning. "It doesn't match my sandals."

Hope gnawed on her teddy bear's arm. Lola picked a dress out of the laundry basket. "What do you think about—"

There was a knock on the door. Lola groaned, really not up for battle number two right now. "What?" she snapped.

Lola's mother opened the door. "Is that any way to answer?" she tsked.

"Sorry," Lola mumbled. She set the clothes down and turned to face her mother. "So, I guess you're probably here to try to stop me from going too."

Mrs. Pacini took a seat on Lola's bed. "Why do you always assume I'm against you?"

That caught Lola off guard. "I..."

Mrs. Pacini waved her off. "Never mind." She sighed. "So, when I went to pick up Hope this afternoon, Diana and Miles told me about this little vacation. And while I'm not _crazy_ about the idea... I think it's fine if you go."

Lola's eyes widened. This wasn't at all what she'd expected. "You _do_?!"

"Well, Diana assured me you and Miles would be in separate rooms and that she'd be around at all times. And it's only for a couple of days, and besides, I think... I think you're old enough to decide for yourself." She shrugged. "And your father's just going to have to accept that."

 _Who are you and what have you done with my mother?!_ Lola wanted to say. But she had to admit, things had been pretty good between the two of them lately. More than good, actually. Something had always kept Lola on her guard, kept her from fully trusting her mother. But maybe things didn't have to be that way anymore. Maybe she could actually have her mom back— for real this time. " _Thank you_ , Mom!" she cried, and gave her a small hug. It still felt kind of strange... but still.

"Baaa baaa!" Hope babbled happily, crawling towards them. Lola smiled and scooped her into her lap, sitting on the bed next to her mother.

"So," Mrs. Pacini said, more relaxed now, "did you remember to pack sunscreen? When your father and I took you to the beach for the first time, I remember you got so sunburnt, poor thing. You were so excited to go in the water that we forgot all about it!"

Lola giggled. "I packed three bottles," she said. "And a little baby hat and sunglasses. Hope's gonna look _adorable_!"

"Call when you get there," Mrs. Pacini said. "And take lots of pictures."

"Of course." Lola smiled. She hugged Hope tight, just basking in this feeling of calmness. Maybe this whole family thing was finally beginning to make sense.


	165. Vacation, Part 3

It's been awhile, sorry! Hope people are still enjoying this story. Reviews are always appreciated so I can tell what storylines you want to see next. I'm going to try and go back to shorter chapters after this so I can update more frequently. Thanks for reading!

 **Vacation, Part 3**

"Are you _sure_ we have everything?"

"Positive," Miles called from the front seat.

Lola was sitting in the back next to Hope, waving her stuffed toy pony and trying to get her to giggle. "You packed everything in her diaper bag? A spare outfit for the car?"

Miles glanced at her from the mirror. "Lo," he smiled, giving her their _stop worrying_ look.

As excited as Lola was for the trip, she had to admit a part of her was nervous about traveling with the baby. Lola's dad hadn't exactly helped ease her anxiety— he'd spent all morning hovering over her, asking if she was _sure_ this was a good idea.

"Don't worry, Mr. Pacini," Miles had tried to assure him. "I'll take care of them— both of them."

Lola's father just sighed, seemingly unconvinced. He grabbed Lola's shoulder as she followed Miles out the door. He looked at her sternly, but his eyes softened. "You'll always be my baby, Mija," he said. "No matter how old. Understand?"

Lola smiled softly. " _Daaad_." She planted a kiss on his cheek. She didn't want her father to worry. Still though, Lola told herself she deserved this vacation. She deserved a chance to just... have fun and enjoy herself for once. She slumped back into her seat and sighed dreamily, relishing in the knowledge that in just a few hours she would be on the beach with Miles, feeling the warm sand on her toes and hearing her baby's giggles. After a stressful few months— well, a stressful almost two years, really— this was just what she needed.

When they got to the Hollingsworth house, Frankie was sitting in the driveway, perched on top of a giant suitcase beside the rental van. "What _took_ you so long?!"

"Sorry," Lola shrugged, a little caught off guard by the snappiness in Frankie's voice. "My dad kept stalling, and then we had to get all the baby stuff organized, and-"

"Ugh, it's _so_ hot out here," Frankie muttered, fanning herself dramatically.

"Frankenstein, chill," Miles rolled his eyes, bouncing Hope up and down his shoulder. "Or at least wait til we get to the cottage to start whining— we've only got room for _one_ baby in the car."

Frankie made a face at Miles. "Ha, _ha."_

Lola rolled her eyes. "Are you two done with your little bickerfest? Or am I going to have to wear headphones the whole car ride?"

Hope reached out towards Frankie. "Amaa Fwankaa!"

"Well, _I'm_ done," Miles said, throwing one last smirk Frankie's way before turning to Lola. "I'm gonna get Hope set up in her carseat."

As Miles disappeared inside the van, the front door of the house swung open and, within seconds, it became quite clear why Frankie was in melodramatic mode. Lola curiously studied the man who had his arms wrapped around Mrs. Hollingsworth, her thirst for gossip suddenly ripe. He was younger, bearded, a bit on the stocky side. Lola would have never guessed he was Diana's type. She also couldn't help but notice how happy Mrs. H looked, smiling and laughing in his arms like that— certainly not a look Lola had ever seen her harbor around Mr. Hollingsworth.

"You don't like him?" Lola whispered to Frankie.

"Raymond's okay," Frankie mumbled. "But this is supposed to be like, a family trip. It's weird having him just tag along. Like he's already our stepdad or something."

Lola nodded, understanding where Frankie was coming from. During her mom's absence, her dad had dated a few women. Most of these women Lola hardly even met, but a couple of them had been far too eager to bond with her. Like they could just swoop in and take over the role of _madre_. "I'm sorry, Franks," she said. "Is it, uh, okay that _I'm_ tagging along?"

"Duh! Sister-in-laws, remember?"

Hunter finally dragged his feet out to the driveway. He was wearing his signature hoodie despite the heat, along with his signature surly expression. Frankie had told Lola he was pissed he didn't get to bring Baaz or Vijay along like he'd wanted. "Dibs on the DVD player."

"I call dibs on sitting next to Lola," Frankie added.

Lola froze. "Oh, um... I kinda figured I would sit with Miles. So we can both be next to Hope, you know?" She didn't want to hurt Frankie's feelings, but also… she was 17, on vacation with her boyfriend for the first time, and she wanted to, well, spend time with Miles. She wanted to spend time with Frankie later too, though, honest. The whole best friend's brother situation still wasn't always the easiest, Lola could admit.

"Oh," Frankie said, clearly disappointed.

"Hey, we're sharing a room all weekend— I'm sure you'll be sick of me by Monday," Lola said. Frankie just climbed into the backseat next to Hunter and sighed.

Lola took her seat by Miles, Hope's car seat between them. She smiled at him, then turned to the baby, trying to put her nervousness aside. "Ready for an adventure?" she cooed.

Hope spit up before they even got out of the driveway.

 **... It** wasn't even an hour into the drive and everyone was already bored. Hunter was stuck on the same video game level, Frankie was sighing every five seconds, Miles kept tapping his fingers against the glass, and Mrs. Hollingsworth was driving and focused hard on the directions, which Raymond kept screwing up. On top of that, Hope had been crying nonstop since they left. Lola, being both the mom of the group and a little kid at heart, suggested they play a game to pass the time and lighten the mood.

"I spy with my little eye, something blue," Lola said over Hope's crying. She waved the baby's rattle at her, desperately trying to get her to calm down. Whoever said vacations were relaxing never traveled with a fussy 10-month old, Lola thought.

"The sky?" Frankie guessed. She was reading an old issue of _Vogue_ and covering her ears, trying to drown out Hope's crying.

Lola handed Hope her stuffed animal. "Uh, nope!"

Hunter glanced up from his game, looking equally fed up with all the noise. "That sign over there?" he guessed, nearly having to shout to be heard.

"Nope."

"Give us a hint," Frankie said, growing impatient.

Lola shrugged, a little smile on her face. "Well, it's _cute_..."

Miles handed Hope another stuffed animal and gently stroked her cheek, trying anything now. He glanced down at his button up shirt, blue with white polka dots. "...it's me, isn't it?"

Lola clapped her hands, "Bingo!"

"WAAAH!" Hope screamed louder.

" _Hope!_ " Miles finally snapped, losing his patience. "What's wrong?"

"Don't yell at her!" Lola cried.

"I'm not yelling!" Miles said, although he kind of _did_ have to yell just to be heard over all the screaming. "I'm just trying to figure out what's the matter!"

Suddenly, the car began to slow down and the engine let out a weird sputter. Mrs. H pulled over, "What on earth..."

"What's going on?" Frankie said.

"Seems like a flat tire," Raymond said. All of the kids groaned. "I'll call CAA. Why don't you kids go into that diner for lunch? It might be awhile..."

... **Miles** and Lola took Hope into the restroom and laid her on the changing table. Lola held her nose, the reason Hope had been screaming suddenly clear. "Oh, _yuck_ ," Lola sighed. "She's a mess!"

"Told you we shouldn't have fed her those strained peas before we left," Miles muttered.

Lola shook her head. "Parenthood is _so_ much fun..." She glanced at the diaper bag. "Miles, can you hand me that spare onesie?"

"Spare what now...?"

"WAAA!" Hope wailed.

Lola was losing her patience. She didn't want to snap at Miles, but they had a screaming baby covered in gunk here. " _Change of clothes_? The one thing I told you pack?"

Miles rifled through the diaper bag. "...shit."

"Are you kidding me?!"

Miles groaned. "Look, let me just run and get an outfit from the car real quick. It's no big deal, okay?"

Someone pounded on the door. There was probably a whole line of customers waiting to use the restroom.

"No, you know what— _you_ watch the baby, I'll go get her outfit!" Lola plopped Hope in Miles' hands.

Miles turned red. "But..."

Lola tossed him a bag of baby wipes. "Like you said... it's no big deal."

... **Frankie** and Hunter sat at a booth, sharing a plate of curly fries. For once, their roles seemed to have reversed, with Hunter being in pretty good spirits while Frankie was... well, a typical mopey teenager.

"We should have gotten the onion rings instead," Frankie grumbled, then helped herself to another handful.

"Hey, you were the one who ordered," Hunter said. He glanced at Frankie's drink and grinned. "Trade sodas?" It was a tradition with them to swap soft drinks every time they went out to eat. Not for any particular reason— they just did it.

Frankie made a face. "Your Dr. Pepper Sprite combo? As _if_."

Hunter tossed a French fry at her. "Why are you being such a grump?"

"Am not!"

"Uh-huh." Hunter rolled his eyes.

Frankie sighed. "It's just..." She let out a long breath, her expression suddenly serious. "Do you ever miss how things used to be? With our family?"

Hunter pushed the tray of food aside. "Uh. You mean when dad was screaming at Miles every night?"

" _No._ I mean... it's just weird. Dad being gone. Mom having a boyfriend. Miles being a dad..." Frankie slumped back in the booth, beginning to regret she'd even said anything.

To her surprise, Hunter nodded, seemingly understanding her point. "Yeah, I... I still miss Dad. But..." He pushed the tray towards Frankie, offering her the last couple of fries. "Things are also kind of okay now, right? Mom seems happier. I'm... better. And Miles, well, he... he seems like he can breathe again."

Frankie took the last handful of fries. "Yeah. I guess that's true." She eased up a little and smiled, adding, "And at least I have an adorable niece to spoil now."

Hunter smirked. "Yeah... when you're not dropping her."

Frankie threw the last fry at his head.

... **Miles** fastened a fresh diaper on Hope and Lola buttoned a clean onesie over here. "...there!" Lola said. She lifted Hope off the changing table and planted a kiss on her forehead. "All clean!"

"Mama dada!" Hope babbled, finally smiling.

"Thank god— you were _smelly_ ," Miles teased Hope, making the kind of ridiculous face he used to oomfchat to Lola. He took Hope into his arms and turned to Lola. "So ah, I'm sorry for screwing up earlier. I should've packed more carefully."

"S'okay. I'm sorry for snapping at you." Lola leaned into him and gave him those puppy dog eyes. "Man. Parenthood is... _messy_."

Miles laughed. "No kidding." He pulled Lola close and bent down to kiss the top of her forehead. Even in her tallest wedges, he still towered over her in height. And even in a gross bathroom at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere... it felt right, Miles holding Lola with Hope in between them. How it started, how it had always been, back when they were secretly kissing under the stairwell at school, not yet knowing their baby was there too. "But I wouldn't want to deal with this shit with anyone else." He smirked, waiting for Lola to register it.

Lola rolled her eyes, then gave into her giggle. "Ha. Nice dad joke."

... **The** kids all piled back into the car. The tire was finally fixed, Frankie was a _little_ less grumpy, and Hope had settled down.

Miles turned to the backseat. "Hunter, can you put a movie on?"

Hunter browsed through the selection. "Hangover 3 or Friday the 13th?"

"Uh, _neither_!" Lola said. "Hope's not old enough to see those!"

Miles chuckled. "Well, luckily she's asleep." He turned to Hope, who was peacefully fluttering her eyelids and curled up with her stuffed animal, looking like she was having a happy dream.

"Aww!" Frankie gushed, snapping a picture on her phone.

Lola smiled. "They're so cute when they're sleeping..." She reached over to squeeze Miles' hand, then suddenly felt his phone vibrate.

Miles glanced at the lock screen and paused. His facial expression instantly changed and for a second he just sat there frozen.

Lola eyed him worriedly. "Uh? Important text?"

Miles sat frozen for a second longer, then snapped out of it. He tore his eyes away from the notification on the screen: _Text message: Tristan Milligan._

Miles turned back to Lola, sliding his phone into his pocket. "Nope— not at all." He smiled and squeezed her hand, the only one that felt right in his.


	166. Vacation, Part 4

So much for keeping this chapter short lol. Enjoy some vacation angst! And if you can, please leave a guest review and let me know what else you'd like to see in the upcoming chapters :) Can't believe I've been at this fic for two years now, PHEW! It still amazes me that people still read it, thank you and please please leave me comments if you can!

 **Vacation, Part 4**

The cottage was small. Not in a bad way— actually, it was kind of refreshing how simple and quaint it was, Miles thought. The Hollingsworth mansion, despite its vastness, had a way of feeling suffocating a lot of the time. And this place felt just the opposite.

Miles felt his phone vibrate again. His ex's name lingered on the screen like it was daring him to open it. He still hadn't responded to Tristan. Hell, he hadn't even read the texts. As anxious as he was to know _why_ Tris was reaching out to him, he didn't want to think about him right now. Tristan felt like an extension of the old Miles Hollingsworth— the one who spent his days trying to please everyone, the one who who had to _pretend_ to be happy. And he'd left that version of himself behind.

He picked up Hope and held her high in the air, making her giggle. _This_ , he thought as he held his baby, _was happiness._

"C'mon, Lo!" Frankie cried. "Let's go and see our room!" She grabbed Lola's hand and whisked her down the hall before she could even say anything.

Alone in the room with the baby now, Miles turned to Hope and smiled. "So, what do you think?" he grinned, bouncing her on his shoulder. "Does it live up to your standards?"

"Dada!" Hope shrieked, reaching for his nose.

Miles felt his phone vibrate again. And then again. "Shit...!" he caught himself muttering aloud. He glanced at Hope and added, "I mean, _shoot._ " Hope just stared at him with those big green eyes.

Miles couldn't take it anymore— he had to know what was going on. He felt a huge surge of anxiety as he unlocked his phone. He would just check real quick, he told himself. He would just look and then go back to his vacation with Lola and Hope. He braced himself and looked:

Tristan: _I need to talk to you. I_ _'m moving away for school and I can't leave things the way they are._ _I just really need to see you before I leave._ _Please._

Miles nearly dropped his phone, along with Hope. He slumped against the wall, just trying to process everything. _Tristan was leaving?_ He didn't know how to feel about that— or any of this. He didn't like the way they'd left things either... but again, he'd left that life, and the feelings he'd once had for Tristan, far behind. He just _had_.

He slipped his phone back in his pocket and turned to Hope. "What do you say Mommy and I take you to the beach?"

 **... Frankie** and Lola were busy getting situated in their room for the weekend. Frankie jumped onto her mattress and couldn't help but smile giddily. She had been so distracted by Esme lately that she hadn't realized how much she'd missed spending time with Lola. It had been so long since it had been just the two of them.

Of course, though, it _wasn't_ just the two of them anymore. Lola set up the portable crib near her bed and dumped a whole bag of baby toys on the floor. "Boy, traveling with a baby is _crazy_!" Lola said, looking at all the things she'd had to pack for Hope.

"Oh... yeah," Frankie said. Much as she adored Hope, she had kind of forgotten it wasn't just her and Lola sharing the room this weekend. "Man. Last time we traveled together you were like, super pregnant. You were _insufferable_ on that car ride." She smirked.

Lola threw Hope's stuffed pony at Frankie. "Like you were any better!" she laughed. "You spent the whole camping trip with Esme and Zig."

Frankie felt the color drain from her face all of a sudden. She wanted to tell Lola about Esme. But she also... didn't. She wanted this trip to feel like old times, before everything got so complicated.

But Lola didn't seem to notice Frankie's change of expression. "Well," she smiled, collapsing onto the bed next to Frankie, "I'm _definitely_ glad to be free of pregnancy."

Frankie rested her head on Lola and sighed, just happy to be with her friend. "Yeah. Definitely."

Just then, Miles swung the door open and came into the room with Hope. "Hey, get your own girlfriend," he teased Frankie.

Frankie turned bright red and quickly sat up. "Brother, _scram_ ," she said. "This is girl time."

"Oh, um, actually!" Lola said, taking Hope into her arms. "Miles and I were gonna take Hope to the beach. I just _have_ to get her first reaction to the ocean on my phone! Do you wanna join us?"

Frankie did want to see Hope's first time at the beach, but she didn't particularly feel like third-wheeling her best friend and brother. "Um, maybe later."

Miles nodded to Lola. "I'm gonna go change— I'll meet you out there in a minute," he said, closing the door behind him.

"C'mon, Franks!" Lola said, holding a squirming Hope. "Why don't you wanna come with us?"

"Mamaaaa," Hope babbled. Lola gave her a kiss on her forehead.

"I said I'll join you later," Frankie huffed.

Lola just shook her head. "Alright, fine," she shrugged. She rifled through her bag, still holding Hope. "Oh shoot... I _did_ forget to pack the sunscreen! Can I borrow some?"

"Yeah, there should be some in my bag," Frankie muttered. She held her phone close and secretly glanced at a pic of her and Esme cuddled up in the hotel bed, in the midst of binging _Legacies_ together on Netflix. Frankie's eyes were half-closed in the picture and Esme was in sweats and no make-up, a rare look for her, but it was still her favorite photo of them.

Lola looked through Frankie's bag. "Umm," she frowned. "I don't see it."

"It should be at the bottom," Frankie said, still glued to her phone. Fuck. It had only been a few hours since they'd last seen each other and she already missed her girlfriend like crazy.

 _Girlfriend_ , Frankie realized. _Whoa._

"Franks! Why did you pack _this_?!"

"What are you talking abou—" Frankie finally glanced up from her phone and immediately froze. Lola was holding up a handle of Jack Daniel's Whiskey, something Frankie hadn't drank since her partying days with Zig and Esme. "That's... that's not mine!"

"Well, it's someone's," Lola muttered, still tossing through the suitcase. "I mean, I totally wouldn't judge you for wanting to get a little tipsy on vacation, but can you at least do it away from Hope?" She held up a skirt and looked at Frankie in confusion. "I don't think I've ever seen you in _any_ of these clothes..."

Suddenly, it hit Frankie. "Oh no... no, no, _no!"_ She hadn't packed her own bag... she'd accidentally packed Esme's instead! She must have grabbed the wrong bag from the hotel room this morning. "Shit!"

Lola covered Hope's ears. "What's going on?"

"Um... nothing... I just..." Frankie tried to think of a way out of this. "The clothes are really out of style. I forgot to do laundry, so I packed stuff from the bottom of my dresser."

Lola stared at her for a second, clearly not buying it. "You know you can tell me anything, Frankie," she said, one hand on her hip and the other holding Hope. Always having that mom friend look. "Right?"

Frankie just faked a smile. "Nothing to tell."

... **Miles** and Lola walked down to the beach with Hope. "I can't _wait_ to see what Hope thinks of the ocean!" Lola squealed. "She loves the pool, so I'm sure she'll love the beach even more."

"Ha. Yeah." Miles wrapped his arm around Lola. He looked into her eyes for a second, then bent down and kissed her. Hope giggled at the two of them.

Lola blushed. "What was that for?"

Miles shrugged. "Nothing. Just... I love you." He pulled her closer. "You know that, right?"

"Of course _,_ dork," Lola shook her head and giggled. She'd never doubted it. Random declarations of love seemed to be a Miles Hollingsworth thing. "And I love you too. Dork."

They walked towards the ocean, Lola feeling the warm sand on their toes. Hope clung tightly to her and stared wide-eyed at the water ahead. "Okay!" Lola said excitedly. "Here we go..." She bent down and gently dipped Hope's little toes in the water.

But Hope didn't smile or laugh like Lola expected— instead, her lips quivered, her face turned red, and she let out a loud whimper. " _Waaaa!"_ she cried.

Lola looked at Miles, startled. "I... I thought she would love it!" she said, lifting Hope back up.

Miles couldn't help but laugh. "I think she _hates_ it." He took Hope from Lola.

Hope leaned into Miles and whimpered. "Daaa..."

Lola just sighed, undeniably kind of disappointed. She wanted Hope's first vacation to be perfect— or at the very least, _fun._ But between the car ride and this, Lola couldn't help but worry she was failing. She felt a dull ache in her stomach, a nagging queasy feeling coming over her. She'd dismissed it as car sickness earlier, but it was still there. "Ugh," she moaned. "I don't feel so great."

"Probably the sea air," Miles said. "Here, let's go sit down for awhile..."

They set up an umbrella and sat down on beach towels. Hope, totally fine now that she was away from the ocean, happily played with the sand and Miles started building a sand castle for her while Lola laid back and closed her eyes, trying to relax for once. Grade 9 Lola would have _killed_ to be on a beach vacation with Miles Hollingsworth, she reminded herself.

Miles looked up at Lola. "You feeling any better?"

"Yeah, a little," Lola shrugged. She glanced at Hope and smiled. "Aww, look how happy she is now!"

Miles smiled back, then scooted closer to Lola. He put his arm around her and just stared out at the ocean for a second, not saying anything. Unusually quiet, even for Miles. Lola paused— what was up with her boy? "Um. Are _you_ okay?"

Miles didn't make eye contact. "Of course."

"You're just kinda quiet..."

"I'm just enjoying the beach, Lo."

"Okay," Lola shrugged.

Miles was quiet for a second more, then reached for her hand. "Actually. I need to be honest with you about something..."

Lola felt her heart race a little. "Okay..." she said, feeling more queasy now. "What's up?"

"I didn't want to bring it up on vacation," Miles sighed. "Actually, I didn't really want to bring it up at all. Because it doesn't matter, I swear. But..." He took a deep breath. "Um. Tristan texted me today. He's moving for school and he... he wants to see me before he leaves."

 _Tristan._ Lola would be lying if she said hearing that name didn't immediately give her some anxiety. It wasn't that she was insecure about her relationship with Miles, not anymore— he'd made it clear that she was the only one he wanted. But still, it was hard to think about sometimes, him having had a whole other life before her. And, if she was honest, she'd never quite be able to completely shake her fear of people leaving her, no matter how much they'd proven they wouldn't. "Um, okay," Lola said, trying to sound calm. At least Miles was being honest with her. "Well... do you _want_ to see him?"

"No," Miles said right away. "I mean... not really. You know I don't feel that way about him anymore." He squeezed Lola's hand, adding, "Haven't in a long time. But... I... I also sort of feel like I owe him. Closure or something."

"You don't," Lola said, "owe him anything."

Miles just shrugged. Lola realized what the look on his face was now— guilt. She squeezed his hand back, swallowed her pride and quietly added, "But if you feel like saying goodbye to him is something you need to do... it's okay. I understand."

"You know you're it for me, right, Lola? The only one. I promise."

Lola smiled and kissed the top of his forehead. "I know." She leaned into his chest and sighed happily, closing her eyes. Her safe place. She couldn't help but feel kind of proud of herself for handling it maturely. A few months ago she would have freaked at the thought of Miles talking to Tris. But she was secure now, she told herself. _They_ were secure now. _Engaged_ , even— real grownups!

But suddenly, that moment of bliss was interrupted. " _SHIT!"_ Lola heard Miles shout abruptly.

Lola immediately opened her eyes and bolted upright. "Wha—" she started. Then, she realized. "Oh my _god!_ Where's Hope?!"

Miles scanned around frantically, looking ready to tear the whole beach apart. "She was _just_ here!"

"I thought you were watching her!" Every part of Lola's body felt violently ill. _Where was she?!_ She raced towards the ocean, fearing the worst.

 _No. No, no, NO._

"I _was!_ " Miles shouted back. "Oh god... FUCK _...! What if...?"_

Just as Miles was about to dive right into the water, he felt something wet touch the back of his leg. He turned around and saw a little dog licking him, the name tag "Kermit" around his collar. And trailing behind him was...

"Dada!"

"Oh, thank _god!_ " Lola immediately grabbed Hope and covered her in kisses, nearly in tears. " _Baby_...!" she said to Hope, half-wanting to scold her for crawling away and half-wanting to handcuff her little hands to herself forever. God. Just a second ago, she'd felt so mature. Now, she felt like the world's most irresponsible mother.

"Excuse me!" a man called. He was holding a little girl a just a bit older than Hope in one hand and the dog's leash in the other. "Is that your daughter? She crawled towards my kid wanting to play, but I didn't know where her parents were..." He shook his head. "You really ought to keep a better eye on her."

Lola just stood there shaking and tightly holding onto Hope, feeling even more horrible now. Miles opened his mouth to say something, looking defensive, but Lola shot him a look, _don't_. The man wasn't wrong.

"We will," Lola said quietly, blinking back tears. The man shook his head again and walked off, dragging the little dog with him, who licked Lola's leg as they left.

Miles took Hope into his arms and squeezed her little fingers so tightly, looking just as scared. He looked at Lola, "I...I'm sorry..."

Lola leaned over and threw up in the ocean.


End file.
